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“Oh, boy, I miss those days” Iwaizumi’s laughter was strong and loud as he and Makki reminisced about their golden years in high school..
“Yeah, we had so much fun, we should totally hang out all together, like a reunion! It will be amazing” Iwaizumi felt his smile disappear and his heart stop for a moment.
A reunion would require every member of the team, or at least of their same year, to meet and spend time together, and that would require for him to at least acknowledged the existence of Oikawa Tooru, which was already painful when he was alone in the comfort of his dorm room, he couldn’t even imagine what could happen to him if actually had to see him, talk to him even.
God, just thinking about it made his stomach tie in a nod, how the conversation would even go? There probably wouldn’t even be one to begin with, actually, because he’d pass out before they had the chance to talk.
And while he analyzed all the possible scenarios, one worse than the prior, he must’ve spaced out, because on the screen of his phone a little version of Hanamaki started to wave his hand in an attempt to catch his friend’s attention again.
“Oi, are you alright?” he had a concerned face that made Iwaizumi felt bad, so he put on a smile and replied trying to hide his emotions, ”Yeah, it would be cool but I don’t think you’d be able to actually make it happen, you know with Oikawa being in Argentina busy all day every day and all” the (last) name rolled off his tongue with a bitter taste, reminding him once again the relationship they had and what it will never be like again.
Hanamaki shrugged and returned to his normal, relaxed and almost bored expression, “True, but I think he could make some space on his calendar for us, don’t tell me you already forgot what a sap he is. I bet when he’ll see us he’ll start crying too”
“Oh, please, of course I haven’t forgotten, but people change over time, you know? Maybe he found new people to be overly emotional about”
“Like he could ever find someone to be more emotional about than you” Hanamaki, apparently, found what he just said funny, because he giggled, Iwaizumi, on the other hand, found that confusing.
“What do you mean, he was the same with all three of us” he was referring to Matsukawa, who wasn’t able to join the video call because of work.
“When we were all together, maybe, but Jesus you should’ve heard him as soon as you left: ‘Makki he’s so cute’ ‘Mattsun I think I’m gonna die if he keeps smiling at me like that’ ‘Makki why doesn’t he like me back?’” he said the last sentences in a (pretty good) imitation of Oikawa’s typical whine.
“Wait wait wait, what?” Iwaizumi talked so fast he almost thought that the phone didn’t catch all of that, then Hanamaki made the same face he made years before when he thought he had seen a ghost as he realized the mistake he made, “What did he say about me again?” he repeated.
“Nothing, absolutely nothing, forget I ever said a thing, nice talking to you, bye b-” he was once again interrupted by Iwaizumi rushed talking, “Don’t you dare hang up right now. Takahiro I really need you to be serious and honest with me. What did he say about me?” at this point he was almost sure even his friend could hear the desperation- and maybe hope- in his voice, but he really couldn’t care.
Did Oikawa really think of him like that? Did he really feel that way about him, too? Was Hanamaki just exaggerating as usual? When Hanamaki actually started answering his question he felt like hours had passed.
“Fuck. Look, I wasn’t supposed to tell you, I really wasn’t supposed to tell you that, I promised him that I wouldn’t. How did I let that slip out, fuck me.” he had started talking to himself at that point and the boy on the other line had to stop him before he drove him mad.
“Hanamaki, answer the question. Did Oikawa have feelings for me in high school?”
“Yes, and you were never supposed to find out so just forget it, okay?”
“I don’t think I can,” that, to his credit, was the most honest he’s been since that conversation started.
“No, no. You don’t have a choice, you see, you have no idea how much he liked you, it was actually insane and it was destroying him. When he left for Argentina he hoped to get over it, you know, maybe finding someone nice he could connect to. You cannot bring this up with him, he just started to be happy again”
Iwaizumi’s head felt dizzy and he couldn’t think coherent thoughts if he tried, so he just said the most obvious thing he could pronunciate, and he whispered it so much that his friend could barely hear him.
“He never said anything”
That, apparently, had been enough to bring Hanamaki’s attention back to him.
“Of course he didn’t, imagine if you had feelings for him back then, would you have wanted to risk your friendship?” obviously, he didn’t have to imagine, but he still couldn’t understand, he would’ve never risked their friendship, but that’s because of him, Oikawa was nothing like him when it came to feelings and expressing them.
For all his knowledge he’s always been his best friend, his confidant, his rock, that’s what he thought, so why, why, didn’t he ever give him any hint? Sure, he was flirty, but he was flirty with everyone, right? And sure, he was always a little more touchy with him than he was with others, but that didn't mean anything. And yes, there has been that one time he wouldn’t talk to anyone, including his parents who had to call Iwaizumi to get him out of his room. And that other one- and oh my God, how could he have been so blind?
He has been so absorbed in his own feelings, trying to keep them quiet and possibly trying to suppress them, and Oikawa, Tooru , has been with his heart in his hands all this time, offering it to him, who didn’t even see it.
Suddenly he was very hot, his mouth went dry and he couldn’t breathe properly, then he remembered he was still in front of his laptop, which was showing him a very concerned Hanamaki,
“Hey, are you alr-”
“I have to go, I’m sorry” he had just the time to hear him say “Don’t do anything stupid” before the laptop was shut closed and he was pacing around his room.
Could that possibly be true? Could Oikawa really have felt the same all these years? What was going to happen now?He thought about confessing his feelings, but that would be weird now, he didn’t even know if he still liked him. He thought about never thinking of him again, but he knew that was impossible
He threw himself on the bed when he was too tired to keep going around in circles.
Staring at the ceiling he went through what his friend told him: Oikawa liked him, Oikawa talked about him a lot to Makki and Mattsun, Oikawa was trying to move on.
Oikawa was trying to move on.
That meant that he hasn’t fully moved on yet, but also that he didn’t want to be anchored to the past, to him . While he thought about what to do he, once again, failed to consider Tooru’s side of the story. He thought about calling him, to hear his voice, maybe his laughter, to tell him that he missed him, but would Tooru want to talk with him?
He even thought, for a crazy instant, to get on the first flight for Argentina so he could see him, hold him, and maybe finally feel at home again, but he didn’t think that, perhaps, Tooru was still his home but Hajime wasn’t Tooru’s anymore.
He felt pain in his chest, like a weight had been put on it and he couldn't find the strength to pull it off, so he tried to think about something else.
He ended up wondering where things started to fall apart between them, maybe it was when they lost against Karasuno during their third year, and they forever had to abandon their dream of making it to Nationals. Maybe it was when Oikawa left to follow his more persistent dream of becoming an Olympic player and play for his idol’s team.
After some time, though, he came to the realization that they fell apart when he left for California, the pain had gotten the best of him, weekly video calls became monthly and then just birthdays, their daily texts became so few at some point they just stopped texting each other.
The process of their fallout has been so long he didn’t even notice it and now he felt like shit. He had absolutely no idea on what to do, how to act with this new information, and he thought that in situations like these he used to call Tooru to help him figure out the best thing to do, he’s always been great at helping people.
He then decided it was too much pain for one day and despite it being 3p.m. on a week day he went to sleep hoping that by the time he woke up everything would be back to normal.
When he woke up, unfortunately, nothing had gone back to normal, he still knew about Toru’s feelings, he still had his own feelings for him, they still haven’t had a significant conversation in months, he still wanted to scream.
He got up, took a shower trying to wash away all his negative thoughts (Ushijima said to him that it worked and he had nothing to lose) then he went out to buy some fast food.
After hours of painful reflections he decided he wouldn’t do a thing. He will probably never talk to him again and even if they did talk again eventually, by then Oikawa surely would have gotten completely over him and there would be no need to mention anything.
He was really convinced about it, it was the only smart answer to this situation and, for several weeks, it really did work, he didn’t forget of course, and sometimes the knowledge of what they could’ve been almost drove him crazy, but he found comfort, despite the pain, in thinking that maybe Oikawa was happy now..
That was until, one day at the beginning of December, he received an email from Hanamaki that read:
“My dearest Hajime Iwaizumi, I have the honor to formally invite you to the New Year’s Eve Party you sweet friend Matsukawa and I are throwing here with the whole old team. We expect to see you on December 31st at 8pm at the old gym, we also will not take no for an answer, don’t come up with excuses. I assume you were going to come home anyway for the holidays, if that’s not the case, I don't really care, you will come home this year. Feel free to bring a friend or a date. Love, Takahiro”
He was speechless as he felt his heart get faster and louder awoken by too many contrasting emotions. Hanamaki actually organized a high school reunion, did all the others really already agree or was he just assuming everyone will show up?
He was curious to know and he couldn’t deny the fact that he was happy to see all his old teammates again. Then he thought of Oikawa and his heart cried.
He didn’t know whether Hanamaki and Matsukawa had sent an invite to him too, he didn’t know if he would be there. What if he actually went and brought his boyfriend with him? He was sure he wouldn’t survive it, but he knew that Oikawa had a lot to do between the team and his new friends and he also knew that in Argentina they had the best parties, so he probably already had plans for New Year’s.
That option was the only hope he had and the only thought he clinged onto as he got on the airplane that would get him in Japan, not even twenty five days later.
Despite the fact that he spent most of the time of the flight thinking about how weird the New Year’s party would be and trying to convince himself, at the same time, that nothing would be weird at all, as soon as he got off he forgot about all that because his parents were there to pick him up and bring him home, and just then he realized how much he really missed them.
All those months without them on the other side of the world and all the new and old problems and worries exhausted him so much he never thought that just having his parents hug him tight would help him this much, and yet he was sure he could cry from all the relief he felt in that moment.
Once they got home, about thirty minutes later, his dad went to the kitchen and finished cooking dinner while his mom laid the table, he tried to help but was too tired to move a muscle so, instead, he sat down and listened to what his parents had to tell him about what happened in his months of absence.
He loved listening to his dad and mom’s stories, they had such a way of telling them that could make even the most boring thing ever seem interesting, Hajime was sure it was because of the love they felt for each other.
The way they always laughed at each other’s joke even when they weren’t funny, or the way they could easily completely one another’s sentences, they made being married and in love look so easy and beautiful Hajime couldn’t help but wonder if he will ever experience it, will he find someone who can make the rest of the world disappear in front of their love?
An answer, unfortunately, came to his mind, I already have met him and I lost him , he pushed down that thought, deciding to focus on what his mom was telling him, something about a neighbor's dog that grew more attached to her than to its actual owner, he smiled trying to enjoy the moment, but something must’ve shown on his face because his dad frowned a bit while giving him his full plate, “Hajime, something’s wrong?”
“Oh, no no, nothing’s wrong I’m just a little tired, you know, with the flight and all” he knew better than to hope that would convince his perceptive parents and he was not surprised at all when his mother replied, “That’s not the face of someone who’s just tired, love, do you want to talk about it?” he didn’t even know what there was to talk about.
“It’s really nothing important, I promise, I was just thinking about the party on Wednesday, wondering if I should bring any gifts,” he said, maybe an half truth would be convincing enough. His mother’s eyes brightened and he realized he might have made a mistake mentioning the party.
“Right, the party! I think there’s no need to bring gifts, your presence will be more than enough, but maybe you wanted to buy something for Tooru, Issei and Takahiro,” and she got even happier after she named them, as if that made her remember something she liked.
“Oh god, I forgot to ask, how are they? Have you talked to any of them recently?”
Hajime took a deep breath, “Yes, I’ve talked to Issei yesterday to tell him about the flight and I called Takahiro a couple days ago, they’re both doing fine, really excited about this little reunion.”
“Oh, that’s lovely to know,” she said smiling, she’s always loved his friends.
“And what about Tooru, he’s always been so focused on volleyball,” – his father added–”i bet he still is, but he was so nice and polite every time he came over, and you two were so close, how is he now?”
He nearly choked on his food and coughed before speaking again, feeling his heart getting faster, he didn’t want to think about him, and certainly he didn’t want to talk about him with his parents, “Yeah, I don’t really know, actually, we haven’t talk in a couple of weeks, I think he’s fine, I mean he always find away to be.”
“But you will see him at the party on New Year’s Eve, right?” his dad asked.
“Uhm, no I don’t think so, he’s really busy and I doubt he can fly all the way from Argentina,” by the time he finished the sentence he was almost stuttering, he just wished his parents would change the topic of the conversation.
“Well that’s really a shame” his mom responded first, then his dad replied to her “Yes but I can’t really say I’m surprised, you know?” after a nod of assent from her they actually moved onto another subject which was significantly less interesting to Hajime and since he was already exhausted he decided to go upstairs and go to bed, hoping the night would bring him comfort.
The next day he went to lunch with Hanamaki and Matsukawa, who told him about everything that happened while he wasn’t there, as if they didn’t already tell him during one of their billions of calls, the only thing they failed to mention to him was that they finally got together.
That would’ve been a shock to him, because they really were great at hiding it, except for the fact that he had to listen to the complaining about their unrequited crushes on each other for too many months now, so, instead of congratulate them, he hit them both on the back of their head “Took you long enough, uh?” but then he smiled and told them that he really was happy for them.
They laughed, joked and had so much fun it made Hajime realize how much he needed their company. In that time of uncertainty and confusion about too many things it felt good to know that something doesn’t change and it felt good to know that no matter what he still had their friendship.
But if he were to be completely honest with himself he would’ve said it was someway uncomfortable to be out the three of them without Oikawa, somewhere in his chest his heart knew it wasn’t the same and something did change, but for a couple of hours he allowed himself to just enjoy the carefreeness his two friends were offering him.
The following days were nothing special, he helped around the house, spent time with his parents, and before he even knew, it was Wednesday morning.
Under his request Makki and Mattsun told him about the big events their friends went through so he wouldn’t look stupid when he got there, they also told him to show up before everyone else so he could help prepare the room, he was a bit nervous but couldn’t understand why, so he decided to ignore it and go on about his day.
After lunch he took a shower and went back to his room, where he stood in front of his closet for about two minutes before starting to take some clothes out and trying them on, after about one hour he finally settled on a really simple outfit: blue jeans with a black belt, a white t-shirt, a flanella shirt open on the front, more like a jacket than a normal shirt and then his denim jacket.
With everything on he couldn’t help it but feeling like his high school-self again, then he giggled at the thought that his teammates, whom he hadn’t seen since those days, would see him for the first time in years exactly as they remembered him.
He arrived at the gym at 7.30pm and was greeted by a bright Hanamaki who immediately put him to work, handing him some plates that needed to be distributed between the three tables near the wall, he and Matsukawa had already done most of the work, they even already put music on, which made the process of decorating the gym a lot more fun.
The old schoolmates started to arrive around twenty minutes after Hajime did, the first two persons who walked through the door were Yahaba and Kyotani, they both never saw him after his graduation, so of course they had a lot to talk about, apparently, he wasn’t the only one who stayed similar to his high-school-self, because Mad Dog was still deserving of that nickname and, honestly, he found that really comforting.
Yahaba told him he intended to become a sport instructor, which he found really cool, Kyotani was already playing for a local team, the Sendai Frogs, and he said that he was getting better at teamwork, so he was happy for him, too.
Later on he saw his former kohai Kindaichi and Kunimi, they were really happy to see him and couldn’t help but to tell him about their last game against Karasuno, which they lost, during their third year, Iwaizumi found that story almost endearing, it was like being back in high school when he was their senpai and they wanted to impress him, but also recognized him as someone who could help them and whom they sought protection from.
He told them about the college team he was in now and that he was more interested in helping the team from the sidelines before and after the games rather than on the court and they were amazed by how smart he was to study for a degree in a foreign language.
He saw Watari, who was doing great even if he didn’t officially play anymore, he said he only eventually played as a reserve on the neighborhood’s team, but that he was happy doing so, and Hajime really could tell that, so he found himself smiling at him and telling him he was happy for him.
One or two at a time pretty much everyone showed up, most of them Hajime recognized, some of them he was embarrassed to admit he didn’t.
The last remaining nervousness left him when he found himself laughing with his old friends, telling jokes and funny anecdotes from America, eating cold slices of cheap pizza and getting tipsy on even cheaper liquor. He really believed he could be happy, even if it was just for one night.
At some point around 10.30 the music stopped and Hanamaki took the only microphone available.
“Hello everyone! I hope everyone is having a great time-” screams erupted as much as laughter “Now, since we are all pretending to be teenagers again for tonight only, for the bravest out there, we are gonna play Never Have I Ever in that corner right there!” he pointed at the closest corner to the front doors, “No one will be forced to participate against their will so feel free to ignore us and keep dancing and eating, we will be restarting the music in a second, for all the people who do want to participate please go head and sit down in circle right there, thank you.”
He looked at the people in the room shift as some of them, very few, went to sit down and others stayed standing, when he spotted who he was looking for he began speaking again,
“Iwaizumi Hajime what I said earlier about how no one will be forced to take part in this game does not apply to you, you are now obligated to sit down and bring a bottle with you,” he said with a smile, which was mirrored on his friend’s face as he told him to piss off, while doing what being asked to.
As soon as all the people interested in playing were sitting in a circle Mattsun and Makki started to give out shot glasses and make sure everyone knew the rules, “So, one at a time we say something we haven’t done and if someone else has done it they drink, easy enough right? It’s funnier if you say something targeting someone because you know they did it, but it’s fun either way so don’t think about too much, alright who’s starting?”
Before anyone could actually say anything another voice spoke, “You got room for one more?” “You bitch!” and while Makki screamed and everyone got up laughing to greet the newcomer, Hajime’s world came crashing down on his shoulder, his heart refused to keep working as it should have and he was pretty sure he stopped breathing, too.
There in front of him stood Oikawa Tooru, laughing and explaining that he really wanted to come earlier but couldn’t because of problems at the airport, he was even more beautiful than the last time he saw him, he had a different aura around him, more mature, more tired, too.
He doubted he would survive the night, especially as everyone sat down again and Oikawa sat almost exactly in front of him, between Makki and Yahaba, while he sat between Mattsun and Kunimi.
When they were both settled their eyes met, Hajime felt his mouth go dry and his eyes sting a bit, he took the time to take one deep breath without being too obvious, he could feel his hands again, good.
If Oikawa has been in any way affected like he has he didn’t show it, on the contrary he smiled and mouthed “Hi” to him, who could only wave and did the best impression of a smile he could in response.
Thanks to Hanamaki he didn’t have to suffer any longer because he drew the attention back on him as he tried to get the game started.
The first few rounds were simple affirmations to help people who never played get the hang of it, then they started to play, Hanamaki went first, “Never have I ever cried when watching Bambi after the age of fifteen” surprisingly, many people raised their glasses, first Oikawa (“Wow, low blow, Makki, I told you that in confidence,”) and last Kyotani, but only after Yahaba watched him so intensely not drinking he almost felt guilty for doing so.
Watari spoke then, “Never have I ever kissed a friend ‘as a joke’ while drunk,” he said looking directly at the blond next to Mad Dog with a smile on his face that grew even wider as the said blond drank while frowning, he probably didn’t even notice how all the ex third-years exchanged amused looks at the memory of what they have done back when they used to party every time they got the chance, and they all downed their shots, refilling the glasses right after.
Matsukawa was next, “Let me think, let me think, oh there I go! Never have I ever not confessed my feelings to the person i liked,” with a smile he looked as his boyfriend drank while telling him to fuck off with a smile on his face.
Once again Hajime brought his glass to his lips, this time he paid more attention to who else was drinking and, inevitably, his gaze fell on Tooru, who was also drinking.
Iwaizumi remembered the call with Hanamaki weeks before, not like he ever forgot, but it came to mind like a flashback, and now couldn’t help but wonder, was that shot for him? Was he thinking of him, of his past feelings for him as he felt the alcohol go down his throat? And would it be selfish of him to hope he was?
He was brought back into reality by Oikawa’s voice, which was warmer and yet Hajime hated how it sounded like a stranger’s, “Never have I ever been in a relationship after highschool,” he said and added, shortly after seeing almost everyone starting to complain, “Yeah, if I can’t be happy and taken you all can’t be sober tonight, go ahead and drink,” and maybe Iwaizumi was too busy giggling with his head low to notice a pair of eyes laying on him and soften a little, right before going back to normal, as if they have been shook awake from a trance.
Next was Yahaba, who picked up on the current theme and said something about how he never hooked up with someone he didn’t have feelings for, this time he had to drink, and he was also actually curious to know who else in their group had.
Makki was drinking, Mattsun wasn’t, Kyotani didn’t drink but both Kunimi and Kindaichi did, then he looked at Tooru’s, their eyes inevitably met and he could’ve sworn Tooru raised his glass to drink without breaking the eye contact, almost as if he was trying to send him a message or maybe they were both tipsy by now and he really meant nothing by it.
After more than thirty minutes someone had already left, either feeling too drunk to keep playing, or kind of bored; in forty five minutes the only ones left were Hajime, Tooru, Issei and Takahiro.
The four of them sitting in something between a circle and a square, drunk enough to laugh almost uncontrollably, not so much that they felt sick.
Hajime even allowed himself, for a couple of minutes, to pretend they weren’t there for the holidays, that it wasn’t an exception, that they were still as much of friends as they were in high school, he silently thanked the alcohol for those moments of peace.
They were still playing, though, so Tooru spoke, “Never have I ever gone through a completely insane obsession for Godzilla at the age of eight through ten,” he smiled immediately after, turning to have a better look at Iwaizumi.
“Oh God, you’re never going to let me forget it, are you?” he asked, rolling his eyes and faking annoyance but smiling nonetheless.
“I wouldn’t dream of it,” he responded poking out his tongue as he used to when he was younger, he didn’t change much after all.
After a while they eventually stopped playing without realizing it, falling into their old and familiar nonsense chats about everything and nothing at once.
“Did I tell you guys I saw Shoyo once in Brazil?” Oikawa said suddenly, “Ginger boy from Karasuno, Hinata, you know him,” he added when he saw his friends’ confused faces.
“What the hell was he doing in Brazil?” Hanamaki asked, being the first to understand who he was talking about.
“He moved there right after his graduation to play beach volley, he’s such a weird dude, but he’s funny,” at some point he stopped talking to the others and talked almost to himself instead, “He missed home a lot the last time I saw him, I missed it too. I missed you guys,” he almost whispered while looking at the floor in front of him.
“We missed you, too, a lot,” Hajime knew it was the alcohol talking, because he would’ve never be brave enough to say such things while sober, but now he wasn’t sober and he said them, and he was happy he did, because as Oikawa’s head shot up, their eyes met again and Tooru smiled at him, he felt the happiest he has in months.
The conversation dropped and they all stayed in comfortable silence for some time before Hanamaki checked his phone and got on his feet in a second, “Ten minutes until midnight everyone, let’s go dancing,” he screamed and the other three boys found that suggestion to make sense, so they, too, got up and went to a point of the gym where they could better hear the music.
Makki and Mattsun immediately went to dance with each other, even if the song did not require to couple up, so Iwaizumi and Oikawa were left standing by each other alone, that until Oikawa turned to face him,
“Will you give me the honor of a dance with you, Iwaizumi Hajime?” and in hearing his name came from his lips, in his voice, he was sure that if it wasn’t for all the alcohol he had in his body he would’ve passed out right there and then,
“I sure will, but only because you asking me so kindly,” he responded with a smile trying to hide his rapid heartbeat, and his dance partner wasted no time, he placed both hands on his hip and patiently waited for him to put his on his shoulders, as if they were about to dance on slow music.
Now that they were so close Hajime could finally take in every detail he missed before, he even made a mental list: he had grown even taller, his hair was lighter, probably because of the sun, but it wasn’t ruined so that meant he still took good care of it, his eyes, despite having darker bags underneath them, looked more at peace, he couldn’t tell for sure , but he thought he had a tan, too.
He was beautiful. And he was so impossibly close, yet so far away, he knew he would never be able to reach him. His heart ached, beating so loud in his own ears he was sure everyone could hear it.
When he finished inspecting every new aspect of him, he brought his attention back to his eyes, which were coincidentally already looking at him. The eye contact felt even heavier than he did earlier, he had to take more than one deep, controlled, breath before going back to acting normal, or as normal as he could.
Their faces were only inches apart and only for a second Hajime thought to himself, if it would be so terrible if he kissed him right now, then he thought that of course it would be, Hanamaki told him he was just starting to get over his feelings that brought him so much pain, he could not possibly do anything to compromise his happiness.
That also meant that if in order for Tooru to be happy he had to disappear from his life, he was ready to do it, he already started doing so, he just had to handle the agonizing feeling he got in his chest everytime he thought about him, he could do it for him.
“Why did you leave me Iwa-chan,”
it wasn’t a question, it was a drunk thought said aloud, and Iwaizumi would’ve missed it if it weren’t for the vicinity of Oikawa’s mouth and his ear and for his selective hearing that never once made him not hear him calling him that.
Nobody has called him Iwa-chan since he last did, over a year ago, and now that he did it again his stomach tied in a knot and his lungs refused to take in air. He knew he didn’t actually leave Tooru, he knew the one who physically left was, in fact, Tooru, but he also knew that he wasn’t referring to that.
He got even closer just to make sure he would’ve heard his next words, “I’m sorry, Tooru”
Hanamaki announced that it was three minutes until midnight.
Oikawa took a step back so that they were face to face again, “Be my midnight kiss Iwa-chan, before I go back to Argentina and I never have the chance to ask you again.”
“Why now?” it was a dumb question, he could tell that much too, but he was confused and it was a question worth asking.
“Because I’ve liked you for so long it’s been driving me crazy, and I still have time to drink enough to make me forget I ever asked when you reject me,” there was sadness in his voice, Iwaizumi never meant to make him sad.
“Why would I reject you?” it was Oikawa’s time to be confused now, apparently, it never occurred to him that his feelings could be reciprocated, so he asked, “What?”
Iwaizumi took a step forward, his eyes refusing to leave his, “Why would I reject you when the thing I want the most in the world is you?” behind Tooru’s eyes something clicked, because they widened.
“Since when?”
Without skipping a beat Iwaizumi responded, “Second year of high school.”
A grin appeared on Tooru’s face, “I win, then,” he explained, “third year middle school.”
Hajime couldn’t help but laugh at that, taking the chance to get closer to him again, then a question popped in his mind, “What happens now?” they might have confessed their feelings to one another, but they still lived hundreds of kilometers away and that wouldn’t change. Oikawa shrugged.
“All I know now is that I want to live this moment, if you’ll let me,”
A chorus of voices erupted around them as the countdown started,
“TEN!”
They were still looking in each others’ eyes.
“NINE!”
Tooru looked happy and Hajime could tell he really was.
“EIGHT!”
Hajime’s hands both rested on Tooru’s waist.
“SEVEN!”
Tooru’s arms closed around Hajime’s shoulder.
“SIX!”
Hajime found himself in Tooru’s touch.
“FIVE!”
Has Tooru always been this pretty?
“FOUR!”
Has his lips always been that pink?
“THREE!”
There was only Tooru and him.
“TWO!”
“I want to live this moment too,”
“ONE!”
The world disappeared around them as their lips met, Hajime has kissed many people, but nobody has ever tasted like home before.
It was everything he ever wanted, everything he has ever needed, it was like after years of drowning his lungs finally took in air, it almost hurt.
When they eventually moved away to regain their breath Hajime looked at Tooru's face, he’s never been this beautiful in his eyes, he was beaming, and he was sure he was doing the same.
For the first time in months, maybe years, he was really happy and it was thanks to the man in front of him, it couldn’t have been thanks to anyone else.
“Happy New Year, Hajime,” he whispered, connecting his forehead to the shorter one’s and closing his eyes.
“Happy New Year, Tooru,” he responded whispering even more, it was possible he didn’t even hear him, but he didn’t care, because he knew that he could tell him later.
They still had to talk about a lot of things, Hajime still lived in California and Tooru in Argentina, Hajime would come back to Japan after college, Tooru most probably would come back to Japan, if he ever did, only once his career officially ended.
They had to talk about the details of what their relationship would be once they both got back to their normal lives, but Iwaizumi was hopeful, the fact that there was something to discuss about was enough for him.
And if they both realized they were better off as friends, that was okay, too.
He was ready to try, to give it – him – everything he had. He didn’t need to know immediately, he would wait even years if it meant having Oikawa in his life again.
He had made the mistake of losing him once and didn’t intend on doing it again. And, based on the look in Tooru’s eyes as they looked at him, he was feeling about the same.