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English
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Published:
2022-12-28
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711
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1/1
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Starlight

Summary:

Ahoshiki would never admit he's a fool and his friend Usoshiki is a liar

Work Text:

Several light-years from Earth, an Otsutsuki, all alone, was floating around on a dull grey planet, which he would rather call a massive piece of useless rock rather than the planet that he had been searching for for the past few decades. He floated through every nook and cranny of the desolate celestial body, and after a while, he came to a halt and his shoulders slumped and he pouted, very un-Otsutsuki like. No one was there to judge him so he made the best use of solitude.

“This planet is just so…” He waved around his arms aimlessly “...bland for a place where I was told I would get the best harvest.”

He did a rapid review of the basic data he had collected so far. “Atmospheric composition is 92.7634 percent carbon dioxide, 3.0005 percent sulphur and the rest is a mixture of 32 other gases; Density is approximately 1.872543 cubic metres per kilogram; Acceleration due to gravity variable indicating uneven terrain and fluctuating at the same place at the rate of 9.36205 units per minute in average which indicates interstrata nucleofiscular activity. Definitely not a place optimal for life.”

He found a rock and sat on it, sighing. “What was Usoshiki even thinking? He did say no one besides him had heard of this place so the coordinates could be a fluke too but still…”

Wait. his eyes widened. “Could it be that Usoshiki was lying?” But he denied that possibility. “No way. no way he’d ever do that! Even if he did, no way I'd ever fall for something as stupid as that!” Ahoshiki was sure of that.

He got up and summoned the fifty thousand square foot map his friend had given him for reference and eyed it furiously, scanning through it using his activated byakugan.

His jaw dropped impossibly low as he realised he had been reading the map from the wrong side all this time. Now he was even more confused because he had no clue from which of the other three sides he should start to get to the correct location. He should have asked him that too but he wasn't aware he was supposed to do that until now.

“No way! How can I be such a huge idiot? It would be another century before I would get to see him again, and that is if I'm lucky and he has not been chosen as fodder for some ten tails. I'm so screwed!” He lamented to himself.

Using his ability of creation, he made a mirror using the sand from the planet, by microwaving it using the radiation from a nearby star. He then sat on the rock once again and looked at himself in the mirror. He looked miserable from not resting for the past few decades.

“Ahoshiki, just look at yourself. You travelled alone all the way here without the permission of the chief thinking you could impress him with a huge chakra fruit… What were you thinking? Now you will be either grounded for another few millennia or sent as a janitor to that dragon king’s place. And what if something worse happens? Like being used as pet food for those ten-tailed babies and then dying in vain without a proper vessel? No this can't be happening! I can never be such an idiot! This is all just a dream, I'll wake up to reality in no time, I'm sure!” He punched mid-vacuum and jumped up, but instead of landing gracefully as he had presumed, his foot landed on a piece of graphite, and he muttered a series of profanities as he slipped awkwardly.

“....cking piece of plumbago! Who in their right mind would even leave this thing here? I hope that idiot hits his head on something hard and passes-” His forehead hit the ground with a painful thud. “-Owwuut!~~”, he finished. His arm came in contact with the base of the mirror, making it fall, and it ended up supine capturing the image of the starry cobalt sky.

The last thing that was on his mind before he lost consciousness was why hadn't he just flown up like usual instead of making such a dramatic landing.

No way I can be such an idiot!