Archive of Our Own

2024

They knew this would happen eventually. They considered it, accepted it and still chose to move forward. Chose to make the exact choices that would tear them apart sooner or later. They were just hoping it would be later. 

Naruto stared at Sasuke, a single cut in his cheek being cleaned was the only evidence of an accident that in 2018 would have taken his life, like it took Itachi's. The black Mercedes jumpsuit he hated but made him look stunning, eyes red from holding back tears in front of their lawyers and doctors. Sasuke didn't look back at him, he couldn't. But Naruto would keep making him squirm under his stare as long as it took for him to face what he did, take some fucking responsibility for the damaged he caused for once in his life.

The thing that actually made Naruto want to scream and cross the table to punch him to the ground was that if their parts were reversed and Sasuke was the one with something to prove while he had his place in history guaranteed, Naruto would already be on his knees begging for forgiveness, even if he knew he would never take it. But no. It would end exactly as everyone said it would. Naruto should have known better. 

Stuttgart, Germany, 2017

"What was that?" Itachi asked with a controlled tone that Sasuke knew way too well. His smile faded.

"An accident." He shrugged, drinking the wine he had to get from a waiter by pretending to be his brother because someone forgot to tell admin he was already 18. Itachi's look became heavier by the second and Sasuke had to fight his need to crumble into a million pieces.

"Go apologize to him." He said, watching Uzumaki make his way out of the crowd before anyone noticed the stain of red in his shirt.

His blood boiled. Itachi couldn't take his side not even once.

"He bumped into me." He tried to argue but he stuttered. Itachi always had a way to suffocate him with guilt until he did what he wanted. 

"He didn't." His tone was perfect, no one would guess this was a fight, no one else would understand why Sasuke wanted to scream at him. "Fix this." Itachi finished his drink and moved away to speak to a team principal.

It wasn't fair. He had done much worse in his F2 career, if he wanted to get in a high horse after all the stunts he pulled  it was his problem, not Sasuke's. But he still had too much power over him. To the point he wondered if his conscience really sounded like his brother or if he never had one and that's why he took over.

He gave his empty glass to a waiter and prepared himself. He really didn't want to go there. Naruto would accuse him of foul play and he would deny, then he wouldn't take his apology and Sasuke would get angry, the script was already written, might as well skip to the end where he would storm out feeling like shit. They only knew each other for a year and it was already the worst year of Sasuke's life.

Sasuke loved to race. He loved the sport, loved the cars, loved winning. And now, half way into his first season in F2, it became impossible to ignore that he hated everything else.

It worked for Itachi to be closed off and untouchable, it gave him a "mysterious vibe" everyone seemed to fall head over heels for, but it would never work for Sasuke, because  Itachi didn't have to fake it. He was naturally reserved, naturally practical, so every time he chose to emote for a camera it was appreciated. Everyone loved Itachi, so his kindness was welcomed and his anger was taken seriously. Sasuke on the other hand seemed to not even deserve respect. He was considered "a constant liability to himself" being picked apart by strangers like they were entitled to him, like they wanted him to be the carbon copy of his brother and anything outside this expectation was an automatic failure.

He was having a hard time adjusting, but it didn't affect his racing, that he was doing right, no one could deny, and for him it was all that mattered. Then Uzumaki decided his side quest for the season was to make Sasuke's life a living hell. They only spoke to fight, even in the beginning when there was nothing to fight about. Naruto had to know he couldn't react, that every time he did someone questioned the seat he occupied and yet he took every single chance to get under his skin. 

It didn't help that Naruto was F2's sweetheart. Fans, drivers, sponsors, all those idiots were in love with him. Whatever he did everyone would follow and so they did. By the end of the season Sasuke had to deal not only with the blond demon from Australia picking fights with him but an entire grid of veterans resentful that he put them all to shame mocking him, hoping for a reaction that would end his career. It was more stressful than the sport itself. Sasuke could not keep crying after races he had won, that was not supposed to be his life. 

So yes, he would do anything in his power to make sure Naruto wouldn't follow him to F1 and that included ruining his shirt before he could speak to his world champion in waiting brother in a Mercedes event. It was worth it. For half a second. So he fixed his tie, protected himself with his own pride and went looking for him. Naruto certainly wasn't the type to accept his white shirt was ruined even if it was red wine without trying to save it, so, bathroom. And there he was, two floors up.

He stood at the door staring at the muscles in his back as he fought with the fabric. The floor was completely empty, not a soul around to witness the stream of curse words out of Naruto's mouth every time he had to push the faucet button again. It brought him a little joy to see him struggling, since everything else seemed so easy for Uzumaki. Seeing him in a bad mood then? Heaven. Wiping out that thousand megawatts smile was a trophy he put in the same mental shelf as his last win.

It was a while before Naruto noticed him. He threw the soaked shirt on the sink and stared at him with his blue sky eyes through the mirror before turning around.

"This is revenge, right?" Naruto said, crossing his arms fuming and shirtless in the headquarter's bathroom. "For Itachi's record?" 

Sasuke was hit by the question so suddenly that anger took a while to catch up to him. The stupid record, of course he thought it was about that, and Sasuke couldn't pretend it wasn't. As if there were a million cameras in his face he held back his emotions and turned around to leave.

"Was it because it was me?" He said and Sasuke closed his fists. Youngest driver to ever win an F2 race, record set by Itachi in his first season, 17 and 7 months, no one else got even close. Sasuke wanted to break it since he was 12, he got so close twice and in his last opportunity to do it Naruto went ahead and set the new record at 17 and 4 months. He would be upset if it was anyone else, but it being Naruto for some reason hurted differently, it always did.

"The world doesn't revolve around your dick, Uzumaki…" He tried to sound detached.

"You don't seem to hate anyone else this much." Sasuke rolled his eyes.

They were the two rookies, the most promising talents and title contenders in their first season. Everyone that mattered was looking at them. Rumor had it Redbull was already sending Naruto gifts, McLaren apparently drafted a contract, his godfather having retired with Ferrari looked good too. Sasuke was basically branded by Mercedes since his brother got in. The team principal joked there was an invitation written with his name to be sent out the second Kakashi chose to retire. But no one was safe in this sport. What if Kakashi didn't retire? What if he couldn't handle being teammates with his brother? What if he got through F2 and wasn't actually that good to go to Mercedes? He needed all the laurel leaves he could get and Naruto was on the way.

"We are competition. Grow up."

"Oh, shut up." He waved his hand splashing water around. "I tried to be your friend and you hate me for it?"

Sasuke let out a dry laugh.

"Puting a target on my back? That's how you do it? Giving every driver on the grid ammunition to come after me?" 

Naruto frowned.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

Sasuke didn't know either what kind of weakness he showed that made them all decide he was easy pray. Since he couldn't fight back it was hard not to blame Naruto for showing them where to hit. But telling him gave him power.

"I can't open a window without someone asking who's my best friend." That was an easy fight to have.

Naruto laughed.

"That was a joke! It was in good fun." A joke people did not seem to let go. People simply obsessed with any footage of Sasuke saying "we are not friends" in a harsh tone, truly disappointing the people that had him midia trained since he learned to talk.

"No to me." He spit it out. "I don't know you, Uzumaki. You are mocking me in front of everyone and I end up looking like an asshole for stating the obvious" Sasuke took out his suit jacket "while the disgusting vultures we race with pretend to love me ironically and then try to literally kill me every other weekend on the race track." Sasuke watched Naruto's face go from anger to shock as he unbuttoned his own black shirt and walked towards him. "Shit, just leave me alone and you won't get wine on your shirt next time." 

He brutally shoved his shirt on his chest hopping it would hurt and took the stained one, putting it on just to leave the building. They were even. If he even dared to look at him wrong again Sasuke would throw his career out the window just to punch him. He glared at Naruto on his way out, still dumbfounded, clutching his shirt. He was going to crumple it. Not his problem anyway, he did his part. He hoped Itachi would be pleased.

Half of the pictures of the day Naruto had a white shirt and the other he was in all black, including the one with Itachi, who proudly gave him a nudge in his forehead once he got to the hotel and found Sasuke angrily eating ice cream. His shirt looked good on Naruto. Sasuke tried his best to not feel some type of way about it.

Abu Dhabi Grand Prix, 2017

Gaara had already won the drivers championship and he also won the empty seat at McLaren Naruto foolishly thought could be his. But it was fine, he was happy for his friend. The season was ending and there was no one on the world more grateful than him getting into his car one last time, about to be second place in F2 in his first season. The real battle was about to begin. Naruto and Sasuke were tied for number two and It was lights out in Abu Dhabi.

Naruto was always thinking about it, how all of this started. He was lucky to have only happy memories from the beginning. The three hour hug with his friends in his highschool graduation, leaving Melbourne with his godfather, making a place for him in F3 and now F2, meeting so many new people and it all blurred together into a teenage like joy that could warm his heart even if this sport managed to turn it into stone. But in all of the blur there were a few memories that simply stopped time just to be felt.

Jiraya leaving a space open on the shelf of their new house, right by the side of his championship winning helmet for Naruto's own championship winning helmet. "When it comes." He said. And Naruto cried like a baby to the poor man. He was going to fill that space someday.

He remembered the shame in being in a Monaco bank to get access to his mother's accounts, something they never let him do remotely and Jiraya never took him to his mom's country to try. "Too many memories," he said. They asked simple safety questions very crudely and he knew none of the answers, because he didn't know her. The realization alone made him feel her death again. So he started racing with Uzumaki.

And right there, somewhere between where he came from and where he wanted to go, he looked to his right and saw Gaara celebrating his first place in Spain, his country's flag higher than the Australian and the Japanese ones signaling second and third place. It was Naruto's first podium of the season, third place in the fourth race. He tied with number two for driver of the day, and was probably happier than the winner with those results, it validated every single one of his dreams and he would feel that wave of endorphins for a long time after that. Right beyond the race winner however, there was the Japanese racer drinking the fake champagne they gave to minors straight from the bottle with nothing but disappointment in his eyes. 

It wasn't the first time he saw Sasuke Uchiha, it wasn't even the first time he raced against him, but it was the first time they shared a podium and he was close enough to truly notice him. The spiked hair fighting to fit in the cap, the permanent murderous look that made Itachi Uchiha pass as Disney princess in comparison, still red in the cheeks from the effort, completely miserable. The strikingly different reaction he had from Naruto threw him off, spoiling his fun a little bit. But first impressions could be deceiving, he wanted to give him a chance.

Jiraya let him know early on that motorsports wasn't a good place to make friends, and he had decided he didn't care about it, that winning didn't require him making enemies and he wasn't going to. Naruto hated to be alone in hotels so there wasn't much of a choice other than force other drivers into friendship and, for the record, he was very good at it. The only driver refusing to collaborate with his efforts was Uchiha.

He took it in good fun for the most part, at least he thought he did. Honestly Naruto believed Sasuke was going to quit being a prick eventually and be friends with him. They seemed to be going there, he was answering his jokes at least, but it brutally stopped at some point. He would figure it out a while later that it was after he broke the youngest race winner record. And it hurt a little, there was something about silent rejections that made it much worse for him. It touched a wound Naruto didn't know he had and it brought out the worst in him. He could admit that now, he went too far.

The main difference between picking on someone in good fun and straight up bullying is mostly crowd control and he failed to see that he was surrounded by vultures. He had to be shouted at in gala bathroom to realize it.

He left Sasuke alone like he asked. At least as long as he didn't knew how to apologize to him for the damage already done. Naruto was shutting down other drivers when they talked about him, he was so stupid to not get the venom of the comments before. And he still didn't get what motivated it to be honest, Sasuke wasn't the only nepotism baby in the grid, literally all of them were, one way or another. If his arrogance was the problem, Neji Hyuuga shouldn't be half as popular. And if it was all fear of his talent Naruto was deeply offended for being liked.

He finished in third overall. Third place in the championship in his first season. Naruto was vibrating in the frequency of the sun, he couldn't hide his joy if his life depended on it. He was born to be exactly there at that moment. There is a picture of him and Jiraya screaming at each other somewhere and he hoped it would find its way to him so he could frame it. His friends from home were there and Prema Racing already renewed his contract. Best year of his life, and it still wasn't over. Mercedes gave him a free pass for the F1 Abu Dhabi Grand Prix. He could not fucking believe it was this was his life.

He went back to the hotel and he showered the  Champaign off. He couldn't sleep, of course. The future was keeping him awake. But the high was coming down inevitably. Third place wasn't that good in the grand scheme of things, it didn't matter if his opponents were Uchiha and Gaara. He started to feel a tug in his chest and he did what he always did when he felt so. He called his father. 

"Hello!" The recording said, in a heavy Australian accent. "This is Minato, sorry I can't pick up right now. Feel free to leave a message, I'll get back to you soon." He could hear the smile in his voice. 

He had a little more from his father than his mother, he was acting CEO for MP motorsport when he died, Sasuke's current team, when Kakashi was still in F3. There were interviews with him, statements, records of every decision he took. His father was smart, smarter than him. Impossibly polite, great under pressure. He would have loved to be raised by that man.

"Hey dad." He rubbed his eyes in the dark of his room. "I didn't beat your team like I promised. But I got third place overall." He felt silly saying it, but it was only a matter of time before it hit. "Mercedes wants me to visit tomorrow, I'm not sure why. They won't have an opening until Uchiha is dead. The young one, I mean. I like the old one, he was nice to me. Greatest driver of his generation. You would have loved him." His heart tightened. "And I'm living in Monaco. I know It's a little early for that, but I decided I wanted to get mom's things in order." His eyes started to burn. There it was. "I was angry with Jiraiya for selling the house. I still am, even if I get why. I just wanted to stand where you stood, sleep in the same rooms, I don't know." He swallowed the lump in his throat. "I thought moving would be easier if it was to you and mom's house, that it would feel like coming home. Now it's just…" his vision blurred and the first tears dropped. 

"I'm scared. This feels like a dream, mostly in a good way but also in a 'it can all slip between my fingers at any minute' way." He stared at his own hand still seeing the mark where he gripped his trophy trying to contain a sob. "I hope you are proud of me. I miss you every day and I love you so much." He sighed, breaking the dam he needed to. "Bye, see ya." He ended the call before it could say his dad's voicemail was full. It didn't make him feel better, not immediately. But after his third hour crying the grief crushing his chest would let him breathe again. It was worth it.

Mercedes sent a car to pick him up at the hotel and the second he opened the back door he was faced with Sasuke Uchiha, looking like he spent his night crying as well, except he didn't have a good excuse.

"Hi." Naruto said.

"Hi." Uchiha answered dryly, turning his attention to his phone.

He sat down, the heaviness in the air keeping him completely still for the whole drive. From the glimpse he caught from the screen Sasuke was texting Itachi. It must be weird to have such easy access to someone like him, that the whole world wanted a piece of. Naruto was sweating at the mere possibility of meeting the driver again and Sasuke was apparently cursing his entire bloodline. 

When he met Uchiha senior earlier in the year it was just a fleeting moment, he could barely talk, just overwhelmed by the presence of the guy who put a Renault on the podium and was heading for a world title on his first season with Mercedes, he wanted to ask so many things but nothing came out. Itachi gave him a small smile and just said "You broke my record. It's a shame, I liked having that one." Naruto blinked in shock before saying "Sorry." And Itachi laughed softly. "Nice shirt." Then someone took their picture and he was pulled away to another conversation. This exchange wasn't enough to earn an invitation to the grid.

"I still have your shirt." He said and Sasuke flinched in surprise, glancing at him only for a second.

"Keep it." He said, still looking at his phone. 

Friendly as usual.

"Are you nervous?" Naruto asked.

"I'm not the one racing." 

Naruto took a deep breath trying to fight the impulse to call him names.

"Watching is harder than racing."

Sasuke grimaced, still not looking at him. 

"No it isn't." 

"He's your brother, how are you not nervous?" Did he lack empathy that bad?

"The only way Itachi isn't world champion today is if he DNFs, he'll be fine." He said matter of factly. 

"God, you are unbearable..." Naruto laughed with derision.

"You are the one who started this conversation…" Sasuke had a very special way to make everything he said make Naruto's blood boil.

"Thank you for the shirt." He spit out begrudgingly. "Congratulations for second place and I'm sorry for putting the grid against you." He saw Sasuke's eyes widen. If he didn't say it today these words would follow him to the next season, and he really needed a clean slate next season, so, there it was. "End of conversation." 

Naruto turned to watch the desert around them. He could see the lights of the ring shining in the emptiness. It was beautiful. He would do this same drive a lot in his life, as long as the sheiks were rich enough to keep the F1 finale there, and one day he would do it and leave that ring world champion. He could almost feel it.

"Thank you." Sasuke said. He didn't answer.

It was a shit show.

Naruto had his hands in his head. There was… no way.

"What happened?" Sasuke screamed to the team principal but Danzou simply stared at his screen in perfect shock.

"Itachi are you alright?" He asked.

No answer. 

"What's wrong?" Sasuke's voice failed and Naruto almost reached for him.

Itachi drove straight to a wall, five laps to finish. His teammate Kakashi just drove past him. He would get to collect his fourth world title tonight, Uchiha was off the race.

"I'm fine." Itachi said, still shook. A collective sigh was heard in the Mercedes garage. "I'm sorry guys."

"What happened?" Team principal asked.

"Brakes failed. I'm sorry." They saw him get out of the car and sit down, resting his helmet in his hands. He didn't take it off. If it was Naruto he would have already demolished the machine in anger, cursed the entire team and walked into the racetrack to stop Kakashi the stupid way. Uchiha was a way better person than him.

"We are sorry, boy." Danzou said. "Next year." He turned off his com. Kakashi's com lighted. 

"What happened to Itachi?"

"DNFed." Danzou answered, dryly. "P1, hold it."

"What!?" Kakashi was surprised, a little evil that he didn't tell him his teammate's car had a brake problem. "Copy."

"How did you miss this? You could have killed him." Sasuke said and Danzou didn't look. 

"Sit down, he'll be here soon."

To his surprise Sasuke did exactly that, he let out a stream of japanese words before sitting down behind the engineers and Naruto was compelled to follow him. 

The place was awfully quiet for a team that won constructors championship and would have a first and a second place in the drivers championship by the end of the night.

"He just needed one point." Sasuke said, dumbfounded by his side. One point to be unbeatable. Itachi just had to finish the race in the top ten and he'd be world champion, Kakashi was the luckiest man alive.

"I'm sorry." Naruto had no idea what else to say.

"Don't apologize, it's their fault." Sasuke mumbled, eyes filled with hate. "They don't give a fuck about the second driver, everyone knows that." Half of the workers went to the grid to welcome Kakashi for his win, half stayed and waited for their fallen hero. "You should go see Kakashi." Sasuke said.

There was a commotion at the garage, Itachi came in helmet in hands, small smile hugging all the people he could while the cameras flashed.

"I want to be here." Naruto said before getting up. Itachi noticed him moments later.

"Sorry you had to see that." He shook Naruto's hand and gestured slightly to Sasuke. "Did he try to kill anyone?"

"No, he was an angel." Naruto said catching Sasuke's murderous look.

"Liar." Itachi held up his helmet. "Sign it?"

Naruto could have cried there and then but he took the marker and signed it, sloppily. Itachi asked Sasuke to sign after that. As the engineers drifted away and they all walked to the awarding ceremony. Naruto caught in the corner of his eye Itachi putting his arm around his brother's shoulders and hugging him tight, the small tremor in his mouth as he kissed his head was the only indication that this wasn't just a regular loss for him. Sasuke was the one visibly devastated and he didn't care at all that people were giving him the side eye. It must be nice to have someone to be angry when you can't be, someone to be petty when you had to look grateful.

They watched from the crowd Itachi and Kakashi spray champagne at each other then turn against the Ferrari in third place in celebration. They toasted their bottles, driked out of each other's, hugged, screamed, cried, all that. Naruto was recording them being silly then switched the camera and was going to nudge Sasuke to get into frame so he could say something snarky about how there wouldn't be sportsmanship in the world that could make him celebrate with Sasuke like that, but when he looked, those black eyes reflecting the white lights around them were already on him. He forgot what he was going to say.

"Could be us, you know?" Naruto said through the noise. It sounded more hopeful than he would like.

Sasuke actually smiled, face red from the heat.

"It will be." And the next second dragged out for an eternity. "But I'll be number one."

"Fuck no..." And Naruto cut the camera when they started arguing.

It will be.

Tokyo, Japan, 2017

Kisame was reading a newspaper in Russian and Itachi was asleep by his side on the makeshift bed in the private plane. The floors were covered with white roses memorabilia from fans celebrating a victory he never got. They were all quiet for hours now. No one dared to speak since Itachi started crying. That if staring at the pitch black outside the window with an occasional sniff could be considered crying. A striking difference from Sasuke, who had to pay a fine for ruining hotel property when he got his own second place. As much as he hated Itachi's stoicism, whenever he had a moment like this when he wasn't undeniably invincible it sent Sasuke into a panic. His brother deserved the title more than anyone else, it made him furious.

"MP sent me your new contract." Kisame said, lowering the paper. It made sense for them to renew him, there were no empty seats in F1 and like it or not, Sasuke got himself that second place. He was the favorite for next season. "And Mercedes will send the junior program contract by the end of the week."

Sasuke looked up.

"They chose me?" He had a lump in his throat.

Kisame pushed a strain of hair away from Itachi's eyes and pressed his mouth into a line. Sasuke could bet the family dinner once they got to Tokyo would be just a long conversation between him and their mother about her son's careers.

"Of course they did."

He got exactly what he wanted and he couldn't even be happy about it. It just added insult to injury. They took away Itachi's victory and also ignored his recommendation for the program. What was the point of asking if they were going to ignore the name he put forward? 

Itachi told him in Monza he wasn't recommending him. His reasoning was perfectly honorable, Sasuke's career was set thanks to his last name and the opportunity would be more appreciated by another driver. And then he chose fucking Uzumaki to be this other driver. Of course he was mad, he wasn't even close to the saint his brother was these days, but it wasn't like he could show. He saved his hurt only for himself or it would end up looking like Sasuke just wanted the easy way in when in truth all he ever wanted was for Itachi to put his name forward because he thought he was good enough for it. And he chose a stranger over him.

Sasuke looked away, feeling his eyes water. He wished Itachi had won so they could celebrate together instead of dueling in their own misery. It would be a long flight.

"Where's your participation trophy?" Sasuke asked and his mom's glare contrasted with Itachi's chuckle.

"The same suitcase as yours. Want to burn them?" He was drying the dishes as Sasuke washed them.

"Won't we get fined?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Only if FIA finds out." They shared a look before Mikoto could start her speech about being grateful for where you are and how all stepping stones should be cherished and respected.

They lit a fire in a trashcan at the back patio of the house, their father didn't let them do it in the main one. They did a melting test, the trophies wouldn't be ruined by the fire. Their bad vibes alone weren't enough to destroy the objects made by people who built F1 cars for a living.

It was too warm for December, and yet they were covered in blankets in their respective chairs. There was no point in talking about Sasuke's defeat. He was the inferior driver to Gaara that season, he was well aware and did not want to hear it come out of his brother's mouth as well. But Itachi was too calm for someone who had his first place snatched away from his hands. He wondered if he had already gotten over it or if he would break eventually. Or if he was breaking right now and just didn't want to go through this with Sasuke. Itachi wasn't the type to be in denial and he always got over things moving on to the next. He wasn't talking about next season. And Sasuke wasn't feeling brave enough to start planning.

The F2 group chat was already packed with the end of season little paragraphs filled with insincerity like they weren't about to kill each other five days ago and at least half of them didn't have all of their F1 dreams crushed by this season. Sasuke didn't bother reading them, but he opened his private chats. Karin coercing him into being in Monaco for new years that he forgot to answer, Seigutsu telling him to tell Itachi how much he loved him no matter what and Uzumaki sent him the pictures of the finale and a video.

Kakashi poured Champagne in his brother's cap. He wasn't as happy as his third title, that was obvious. Hatake was a good guy, he was upset about Itachi's loss as much as the fans. The camera switched and Naruto was looking at him trying to be ironic but anyone could see right through him.

"Could be us, you know?" He said and Sasuke could not remember for the life of him why he was so red.

"It will be." He meant it in very practical terms, they were both probably getting into F1 eventually. "But I'll be number one." That was also stating a fact. Uzumaki switched his dreamy look in a second.

"Fuck no, you can't say one sentence without pissing me off?" And Naruto cut the camera.

He rolled his eyes, locking his phone only to see his brother holding a smile by his side.

"I like him." Itachi said. Sasuke could have strangled him.

"I don't remember asking."

"You should be thankful, all the greats have motal rivals."

"You don't."

"That's because no one is at my level…" Sasuke kicked his chair aiming to knock him out of it and Itachi laughed. "Seriously, you are in a great generation."

"That's not good. It's more competition for less seats." He was afraid to voice this insecurity. It was hard to pretend he was at the top while fearing the bottom. "If the generations before refuse to quit the sport then we will be just a waste of talent." 

Itachi nodded in agreement. 

"Do your best and I'll race you in 2019, okay?" He reached for the back of Sasuke's neck and he let him press the muscles there. Sasuke closed his eyes feeling the pain of his tension being rubbed off. He had time. He could rest.

"Okay."

Melbourne, Australia, 2017

"Hey, world champion!" Sakura screamed from the top of her surfboard. "Put some sunscreen on your world champion face!"

"I'm not world champion!" Naruto screamed back before her pink head was covered by a wave.

"I am hearing some world champion noise around here, does anyone know where it's coming from?" Kiba zipped up his jumpsuit.

Naruto was struggling to fit on his own. He didn't remember how hard this was.

"Not world champion." He mumbled.

"Shut up, world champion." Kiba shoved the half empty bottle of sunscreen in his chest and ran to the water.

"I'm literally here to get my color back!" He said. "I look like a European."

Kiba turned around just to put his hand in his chest in false shock.

"Oh my god the world champion forgot he's white!"

"You know what I mean!" Naruto shouted to his back as he ran to the water.

"And you'll get a melanoma." Shikamaru caught a full hand of sunscreen and spread it in Naruto's face before running off as well.

He stared at the sea, at the three people he'd known since Kiba's brothers decided to teach little kids to surf for a few bucks. He spent almost a full year without seeing them after moving to Monaco, so bringing them all to his godfather's beach house for new years was his number one priority opon coming back home. And it was harder than expected. Sakura was pretending to be a real adult by working through business school, Shikamaru was being kept hostage by med school and wasn't even complaining, that was terrifying, and Kiba finally took his joke about quitting college to surf seriously and now had a few trophies on his bag from all over the world.

He got in the water. It was cold enough to clean the soul but the sun was hot enough to balance it out. They came there a lot as kids. Jiraiya wasn't very good at saying no so they would usually get there at eight in the morning and come back at three in the afternoon sunburned, dehydrated and starving for three days in a row until the weekend was over. It was so good.

"I think you two melted my brain." Sakura said laying down on her once pink now white surfboard in the open sea. "I'm starting to worry… that I might want to work with athletes."

Shikamaru laughed, covering his face from the sun with one hand.

"God, you too? I can't see a broken bone without thinking 'fuck, that would put Kiba out of the Sydney Open'. It's ruining my life." 

"Yeah!" She gestured for the sky. "I close my eyes and I'm drafting drivers contracts, it's insane."

"Oww, guys!" Naruto turned his face grinning ear to ear to his friends. "I can't wait for you to graduate."

"So we can exploit your labor." Kiba quickly added and Shikamaru threw water in his face. They were forming a square with the boards, too tired to swim back to shore just now.

"If I still have a career by the time you graduate I'll get everyone a job." Naruto said feeling something weighing on him as he stared at the sun about to go down.

"Don't be silly, of course you will." Sakura reached for his shoulder and he took her hand in his. "Gaara is out of F2, you'll be fine." They dated from thirteen to seventeen years old, if there was one person alive that knew him it was Sakura.

"There's still Uchiha." He said.

"C'mon, Naruto. He never was your competition." Shikamaru shrugged. "He was set for life since he joined the sport, you are playing in two different divisions."

"Doesn't matter." Kiba added, and he knew he would be the one to understand it better than the others. "For nepo babies to succeed they just need to not disappoint. The average fella needs to… impress. But if the nepo baby impresses everyone is fucked." He turned around to look at Naruto. "Not that you are an average fella, we are in your beach house and your main house is in Monaco for fucks sake."

Naruto laughed.

"Yeah, it 's that." He tasted the salt in his lips. "And I don't think I impressed this season." The three point difference between second and first place in Abu Dhabi put Sasuke in second overall and Naruto in third. But the records wouldn't care if it were three points or a hundred, he lost to Uchiha either way.

"That I disagree." Kiba put it. "Youngest race winner ever in F2? Hello?"

"I forgot about that." Shikamaru smiled again. "Uchiha must have been pissed."

"Which one?" Naruto asked.

"It better be number two, because if Itachi Uchiha decides he doesn't like you I don't think we can be friends anymore." Sakura was not joking, he knew that.

"Number two." Naruto scrunched his nose. He was reminded of the Mercedes bathroom. Sasuke didn't admit it then, too arrogant to do so, but the record was an issue. "I can't stand him."

"Weren't you at the beginning of the year telling us how hot he was?" Kiba opened a smile, dimples changing the traditional tattoos in his face.

Naruto cringed at how wrong his past self was. Well, not completely wrong.

"Sasuke is so much of an asshole his pretty face can't save him." He sat up on his board, both legs in the water.

"Oh no, you like him." Shikamaru said. And it was supposed to be a joke but his smile froze as Naruto felt his face get hotter. "Oh, you idiot." Shikamaru kicked water in his face.

"I don't like him!" He didn't. How often he replayed the scene of Sasuke complaining while he took off his clothes had nothing to do with feelings. "He 's just hot. That's common knowledge."

"If we push a little more we can get a full confession." Sakura said, making him officially outnumbered. "If he likes you too you can use it to sabotage his career."

"Sakura!" Naruto said, shocked by her sudden cruelty.

"They were both thinking the same thing!" Her defense wasn't very good.

"We were." Shikamaru said and Kiba nodded in agreement. "But it goes both ways, you know that, right?" He looked at his friend more seriously than he had all day.

He let the words settle in. Sasuke could barely be around him, imagine having the presence of mind to start something just to hurt him. It would be a lie to say he never considered a world where they were at least in peace, if he didn't feel some type of hope everytime he replayed that video from the finale.

"People are not evil geniuses walking around planning each other's downfall." He said, finally. "But don't worry, I'm not stupid." He smiled only to let them know he wasn't upset. Motorsports wasn't a good place to trust people, he was well aware. Naruto had a dream, no one would get between him and that F1 trophy.

"Thank God my biggest concern are stoners asking me for lunch money." Kiba sat up to stretch. "Jiraiya must be done with the meat by now. Let 's go."

They swimmed back to the beach and stuffed their bellies as Jiraiya told them stories about his time racing and did his usual hateful monologue about Orochimaru, team principal of Redbull. They both battled for second place for years while Tsunade settled the record for most world titles over and over again. As soon as they fell asleep Naruto moved on to take care of the kitchen. The house was basically open, if things weren't cleaned in a second an unpleasant animal would find its way in. He was almost done when Jiraiya showed up behind him, arms crossed.

"I'm proud of you." He said.

Naruto looked back with smugness in his face.

"I know."

His godfather laughed, clasping a hand on his shoulder and squeezing it.

"My little boy is a grown ass man."

Naruto smiled at him. He enjoyed the thought that his godfather could see him as an adult even when he didn't feel like one. Naruto was going back to Monaco in January by himself. It didn't come out of nowhere, Jiraiya genuinely hated that place and his main excuse not to go was that now Naruto had Karin. Which was a very large stretch to be honest. They went out a few times and one of those was only to cry about familial bonds lost to pride. She was really cool, but he was still going back to Monaco to be, in all practical ways, completely alone.

Paris, France, 2018

Karin's birthday was no casual thing. It was a weekend long event that started on Thursday and ended on Sunday because socialites could afford to bend time to their will and make the world spin around them for as long as they liked. Thursday was the family dinner, black tie, closed for the Uzumaki. Friday was clubbing and crying about how awful the family dinner was, that was about when Sasuke was expected to show up. Saturday was her actual birthday, a hotel was booked and about two hundred people were employed just to make her happy, and Sunday was recovery day. 

The theme of Saturday was Alice in Wonderland, and his birthday gift for Karin was for her to pick his outfit and him actually showing up. Sasuke was going out of pure obligation, he hated most of her friends and especially her wannabe friends. The less he had to interact with them the better. People living lifes like that were just… easier to deal with on one to one. When they flocked in groups, maybe because he was so visibly a foreigner in those situations, he always felt a little bit in danger. So he would just sign the metaphorical attendance sheet and make the move he was planning on doing for the third year in a row to show up extremely late, take a few pictures, leave the party with a living alibi that he was in fact there and only be present body and soul for the full gossip session on Sunday. It was her favorite part anyway, she had other friends who liked the loud noises and bright colors to distract her.

But no. In the year of our lord 2018, Karin made him check in to a Paris hotel Saturday at noon. So he got there at three.

He checked his phone as they got the room ready. Itachi sent him a photo of himself smiling holding a black urchin with his bare hand in the Philippines with the message "you❤️" attached. Sasuke told him to eat shit.

MP's team principal asked if he could be in the Netherlands next week, a journalist he didn't know got his number and was harassing him for anything that could allude to Itachi's personal life, the usual. Karin answered his last text asking him to get down to the pool once he got his room. So he did. 

Karin could keep the gothic aesthetic even in beach clothes, that was a talent for sure, but she enjoyed the day from the safety of a shade while… God. 

There were four people having the time of their lives in the huge hotel pool. One of the boys he recognized from a perfume campaign earlier this year, Juugo or something, the girl sitting on his shoulder he knew from a Diesel campaign, she was Hyuuga's sister, what was her name? Hinata? And the girl trying to kill her was Karin's evil best friend Ino, the guy she was sitting on the shoulders of however…

"Why is Naruto here?" Sasuke was a little ashamed that he recognized his hand on Ino's thigh sooner than the head of blond hair he threw back when he and her won whatever that was.

Karin took off her sunglasses dramatically.

"Excuse me?" She gestured to herself. "Happy birthday?"

He softened his frown for a second and leaned down to hug her properly.

"Happy birthday." He said, even if it was the sixth time that week he said it, and the second that day. He sat by her side in the shade and stared at the confusion of bodies in the water until Naruto noticed he was there. He waved at him as Ino shouted his name like she didn't hate him too. He was tanned. The baby blue of his eyes was bright even if shadowed by wet blonde eyelashes, but his smile was awkward, as if he was equally uncomfortable about how the next 36 hours would go down. "How the fuck do you know him?" She didn't even like F1 enough to know the F2 drivers and he wasn't her type for it to be a fling.

"We are cousins." She had the nonchalant posture sipping from her cup as someone who had been sitting on a secret until this moment.

Sasuke stared at her.

"No you are not." Uzumaki wasn't that common of a name but it wasn't exclusive, they were not related. "He's Australian." And she was inbred monegasque, it didn't add up.

She gave him a pained smile.

"Do you know about my aunt Kushina who died in a plane crash?"

It took the air out of him a little. He reached for her arm. 

"When was that?"

"Relax." She took his hand either way. "I don't remember, I was a baby." She pointed with her nose to Naruto bridal carrying a very red Hinatal. "Aunt Kushina was kinda the black sheep of the family, I only found out Naruto existed when he opened an account in Monaco last year and the bank called me."

Sasuke didn't know how to react but his heart ran cold. Karin wasn't on speaking terms with her father since about that time.

"Your dad left him alone in the world because he didn't like his own sister?" There was absolutely nothing in the world Itachi could do that would make Sasuke abandon his kid like that.

"Well, not alone. Famous godfather and all." She shrugged. "But yes. We've been talking since last year's Monaco race. I like him a lot." The softness in her eyes was heartbreaking. He was lucky to not even begin to comprehend the kind of loneliness that would make someone  see their last chance in family with a stranger.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He asked, feeling the guilt build up on his throat.

She laughed.

"Because you hate him!"

"One more reason for you to tell me." He measured his tone so the people in the pool wouldn't notice. "I've been hating on your cousin religiously…"

"And I didn't want you to stop." Karin grinned, evil as she was. "It 's cute." 

It wasn't cute. He detailed to her his master plan to kill him off and go unpunished. Several times. Sasuke wanted to walk into the pool and drown.

He sighed.

"Does that mean I have to like him now?" 

"He asked me the exact same thing." Karin bit the tip of her nails and Sasuke rolled his eyes at her second intentions.

"And what did you tell him?'

She crossed her legs and straightened her posture.

"I said you can fuck if you promise I won't have to pick sides in the inevitable messy break up."

Sasuke stared at her, nose flaring, building anger, all the empathy this conversation elicited in him completely gone in a second.

"What the fuck, Uzumaki?" Did he have to prepare a PowerPoint with the highlights of their last five years of text to knock some sense into her?

"I didn't even say anything!" Naruto appeared like a shadow by their side, drawing his hair in a towel. "Wait, urgh, sorry! I'm still getting used to this." He smiled at Karin, brighter than the sun. He put his arm around Hinata, making the poor girl flare up. Sasuke had to tear his eyes away from the  tattoo in Naruto's stomach to get the full introduction. Juugo was a stranger, but Hinata wasn't. Karin had introduced them before, he just forgot. The girl was pretty, of course she was, she was a model. But he couldn't help but think she could not pull the McLaren jumpsuit, her brother on the other hand…

"Don't forget your suit is in my room." Karin kissed his cheek before leaving the restaurant with the girls. The party was supposed to start at nine which meant it was going to start at eleven which means the girls were getting ready at six and that the only thing between Sasuke and Naruto was Juugo. And then his phone vibrated on the glass of the table.

"Sorry, I have to take this." And there Juugo went, phone in his ear, leaving the two drivers alone with their desserts.

"So…" Naruto set his cutlery aside. "How do you know my cousin?"

"My lawyer is her uncle." He said lawyer but he wasn't sure what Kisame's full job description was. Agent? Lawyer? Lobbyist? Sasuke didn't remember a world where Kisame wasn't around being his father's true favorite child. He brought Karin to Itachi's Monaco race in 2016 and they bonded over exchanging information on the man. They both together still knew next to nothing.

Naruto frowned.

"Is he my uncle too?"

Sasuke smiled at the thought.

"No, he's from the Russian side of her family." Naruto hummed, unable to hide that he was dying inside from the uncomfortable silence. It amused Sasuke for some reason, that he was actually capable of shutting up. "Are you staying with Prema this year?" He knew the answer, Uzumaki was literally in Italy the week before.

"I would leave only if Mercedes offered me a contract." He joked, probably thinking of Sasuke's indenture to the Scuderia somewhere in his subconscious.

He raised an eyebrow.

"I thought you were a Ferrari fan." If all the cute baby pics of him in the Ferrari jumpsuit that showed up on his feed every day were something to be trusted.

"Everybody is a Ferrari fan." He shrugged. "But I'm not brave enough to say no to a good seat."

Hell, Sasuke wasn't brave enough to say no to a bad seat, imagine a good one. But he wasn't telling the truth. His old teammate only had a job because of him.

"Why did you say no to MP?" He genuinely wanted to know. "There's a shrine dedicated to your father in headquarters, it was the best team last season." He had been carrying Prema on his back, MP was the easiest choice.

Naruto bit his lip like he was forcing himself to think before speaking for the first time in his life.

"Because you were already announced." He said and Sasuke took a second to react accordingly.

"So being my teammate is a deal breaker?" In this sport this was a complement, but for some reason it stung.

"Yeah." He stated bluntly.

He swallowed his hurt. There were no counter arguments, Sasuke was famously a horrible teammate and he knew very well the team favored him because of his name. The entire sport was just waiting for the day they'd see an Uchiha vs Uchiha battle, no one wanted to get caught in the crossfire. He had to remind his heart it was a compliment. Sasuke smirked.

"Chicken." 

Naruto's eyes shone with the familiar anger he was so addicted to see.

"Not a humble bone in your body, right, Uchiha?" 

"Humility gets me nowhere." Not while he was in Itachi's shadow.

He sighed.

"You are fucking unbearable." Then he got up and left.

Sasuke was having a hard time naming the heaviness in his stomach as he stared at Naruto's empty plate.

The party was fine. He didn't leave with anyone.

Monte Carlo, Monaco, 2018

Karin sent him a photo of Hinata and Ino cooking in his kitchen as she cheered them on from the safety of the cauter. Leaving the keys with her was certainly a decision. He would decide if it was a bad one when he got home and checked if his apartment was falling apart. 

The season started with one foot at the door. Sasuke won the first weekend in Bahrain, Naruto won in Baku and Barcelona was so close it equaled their points, even if Uchiha won the weekend. He knew it would be him and Sasuke neck and neck this entire season, he just didn't expect the feeling that they were the only ones racing. If they removed the other 22 drivers without telling them he wouldn't notice. And that reminded him.

He kicked the airplane seat in front of him and was delighted to hear the curse word in japanese he wasn't sure what meant. Part of having Karin around now was that he was always running into the prick. The last thing he wanted was having an enemy in his house, but he still hadn't mastered the art of saying no to his cousin, and if he guessed correctly neither did Sasuke.

The Ferrari drivers were coming down at the same time on the private airstrip, so no one was paying attention long enough to recognize them. Karin sent a car, who's driver's identifying plate read the numbers 09 and 14 with a heart between them.

"She googled our numbers just for this." Sasuke said, trying to hide his endearment while crushing the paper in his hand. Apparently he cared a little more than Naruto about his friends understanding what was going down in his sport, he was happy she made the effort.

"Why fourteen?" He asked, loading the back of the car with their luggage.

"First big championship I won. F3, 2014." Sasuke just watched, apparently allergic to manual labor.

"Ouch." Naruto chuckled and got confused to meet his questioning frown waiting for an explanation. "Itachi's number is your birthday." He'd been using 23 since he was in a go-kart. "I thought it went both ways somehow."

"Ah." Sasuke looked away to hide his embarrassment. "I'm not sappy like him."

"Don't say it like that, It's cute." Naruto got in the car.

"Cute is bad, this is motorsports." He was actually pressed about it. "Attracts too much attention."

"Since when do you hate attention?" It came out before he could stop him and he cursed himself for turning a civil conversation south even before dinner started.

Sasuke glared at him and the street lights flashed in his face for just a second. He braced himself for whatever evil thing he would come up with. But he just sighed.

"I hate you." That was a way tamer reaction than he expected. Uchiha must have been tired. "Why nine?"

He shrugged.

"I met my best friends the year I turned nine, learned to surf, started racing. It's not exactly my lucky number but it's my favorite." He smiled and saw Sasuke tug his lips a little bit. Whatever that was, Naruto had the sudden urge to ruin it. "And it's Itachi's birthday." He said, completely deadpan. "You know how I'm completely in love with him." And held it long enough to see Sasuke's face go completely blank before he reached down for something. Then he cracked. "It's a joke! I'm joking!" He said before an airplane pillow was thrown in his face.

"Why are you like this ?" Sasuke kept hitting him with the stupid frog pillow and Naruto couldn't for the life of him stop laughing.

"I'm sorry!" He tried to hold him back and was thankful for the seatbelt choosing this moment to lock and actively prevent him from getting punched. "I'm sorry! No more Itachi jokes!"

Sasuke stopped, retreating back to his place and crossing his arms without saying a word. The driver didn't even bother to look back and check if there have been a murder in his car.

Naruto always had an awful relationship with silence.

"I'm sorry."

"Shut up." Sasuke cut.

He sighed.

"I'm serious…"

"I don't care."

"Everyone else is already comparing you two, of course you don't want to hear a joke about Itachi on your day off." He didn't exactly understand it, he never had anything close to a sibling, much less one the entire world already loved. "I'm sorry." But he meant it. 

Sasuke didn't answer, but he also didn't seem that mad about it when Naruto had to ring the doorbell into his own house and they were greeted by Karin hugging them both. She let them know the rules that the first person who mentions any subject related to the vehicle 'car' would pay the bill for the next three times they met. And they got drunk.

"The cage is only for the tourists, you know? Us locals can swim with sharks in basically any diving session." He tried to keep his face straight even if he was drunk enough on the tequila Karin brought back from Mexico that he wasn't sure he could hide any emotion.

Hinata widened her eyes.

"Isn't it dangerous?"

"Nah." He dismissed her worry. "if a shark gets too close you just need to punch them in the nose, you know. Show it who's the alpha." He broke way earlier than he usually did and giggled.

Her open mouth changed into a smile and her face got redder.

"I swear I'm smarter sober…" she buried her face in her hands 

" I'm certainly not." He laughed trying to make her look at him again.

"Stop." And she laughed softly, giving into his effort and looking back at him with her head resting on the couch, pearly eyes shining as a pool of stars. Hinata was beautiful, fun, kind. She had the kind of compassion only being a middle child in a cruel family like the Hyuuga could give her, Naruto liked her a lot. He looked behind her just for a second to catch Sasuke's eye roll over his antics as he cleaned the kitchen table.

Ino was already sleeping in Jiraiya's chair, Karin had gone through her very loud stage and now was in her very quiet stage and Hinata was awake only because Naruto wouldn't leave her alone so yes, it was time to make the sleeping arrangements.

"You girls get my room, the bed is bigger." Naruto got up with the few functioning brain cells he still had and poked Ino for her to wake up just enough to hug his neck as he pulled her up. 

"No, you just got home, sleep in your bed, we can get a cab." Karin said from under Uchiha's arm.

Naruto smiled.

"You are paying us a fancy breakfast tomorrow." She took a while to process it but felt betrayed by her own strategy when she did. "C'mon." 

Sasuke and her got Hinata off the couch and into the hallway where they got to Naruto's suite. He placed Ino into the bed and Hinata lied down with her without needing instructions. Karin rested her head on his shoulder and whispered a thank you to him before joining the girls. Sasuke took off her shoes before they could reach the clean sheets and Naruto thanked him silently. He closed the door behind them and just then realized he hadn't dealt with the other driver.

"Jiraiya's room is that one." He whispered pointing at the end of the hall and Sasuke turned to look, then looked back at him.

"So I got the couch?" He asked.

Naruto frowned.

"No, I got the couch." 

He raised an eyebrow.

"This is your house."

"And you are my guest." His mind was foggy and his neck was warm but he could think well enough to not let him be unreasonable.

Sasuke smiled softly at him. That was something he didn't see everyday. He liked it.

"I'm Karin's guest." He said, moving back into the hallway and Naruto grabbed his hand to stop him. It was soft, he wasn't sure why he expected it to be rough.

"C'mon." He said pulling him back to the spare room. 

He hadn't been paying much attention to it since Jiraya decided to not come back with him, but it was in good enough condition the last time he checked, the bed was made at least. He went into the bathroom to check if there wouldn't be spiders or whatever monegasque curses showed up once you neglect bathrooms in this country and everything was alright. Nothing was very personal about it, Jiraiya always made it very clear he didn't want to build anything resembling a home there and even if stung to think about it he could understand. A lot had happened to him in Monaco, it had already ruined his life once.

When he left the bathroom Sasuke Uchiha was shirtless in the middle of the room and holding a red helmet in his hands. Naruto's heartbeat spiked. 

"1992, right?" He asked and turned around to face him. "How much do you want for this?" He kept the same whispered tone as before that sounded so good in his voice. Naruto had to get closer to see which helmet it was and, exactly as expected, the one signed by Tsunade and Orochimaru.

"This one is not for sale." He tried to gently pull it away before Sasuke could get close enough to read the dedications. But the other just looked at him, his current state of tiredness making his glare look more like a pout and in the dim light he forced his eyes to read the words in black ink written almost thirty years ago by people who couldn't look each other in the eye anymore. Naruto waited for the reaction. A laugh or something, Sasuke seemed to be the type of guy who would laugh about it. But his eyes watered.

"Shit." He said gripping the helmet tighter for a second then giving it back to his competitor. "Shit, I'm sorry." Sasuke sat down on the bed covering his face with his hands.

"It's fine." He said, putting it back on the shelf. He should take better care of that thing. There were only two alike in the world, that if Orochimaru had not smashed his with a hammer yet.

" Every race I've ever won has always been for you two, and will always be." signed by Orochimaru, two times world champion and " you two taught me what love was, thank you." signed by Tsunade, seven times world champion. All two years before the accident that forcibly put both Orochimaru and Jiraiya out of F1 and made Tsunade quit the sport.

"I'm sorry, I don't know why I'm crying." Sasuke said, wiping the tears off his face.

"Don't worry." Naruto laid down in the bed not even thinking about it. He was just so tired. "I cried too."

Sasuke looked back at him.

"No one knows?" 

Naruto shook his head no because he couldn't bring himself to say it.

"Shit." Sasuke even looked pretty crying, it wasn't fair at all. "I'm just replaying interviews. It didn't even cross my mind."

He never expected for him to be the guy impacted by this.

"There's a really good one where Jiraiya slipped and called Orochimaru 'baby' and the press decided it was a declaration of war." That one was so funny, the immediate increase in flashes before they even realized what was wrong in the sentence followed by the same panicked expression and Tsunade instigating the madness.

That thankfully made him laugh.

"They started with the princess nickname too, didn't they?"

Naruto grinned.

"Right under everyone's noses the entire time." He never had the opportunity to meet the other two, but if he did, he knew exactly what he wanted to know: Was it worth it? Were they happier together than they would have been apart? At the end of the day, would they do it all again? 

He thought of those questions as he moved his eyes through the muscles on Uchiha's back. The hand he held just minutes ago, the blue veins showing through white skin of his arm, the shoulders strong enough to hold triple his weight in a car, the curve of Sasuke's neck when he swallowed looking straight at him. Naruto stared at his mouth then at the black eyes he was terrified of just moments ago and thought to himself: would it be worth it?

"Did they make it?" Sasuke asked in a voice barely audible, so hesitant it didn't sound like him.

Naruto sat up, closer now than he had ever been to the only man between him and all his dreams.

"No." He answered honestly, because he had to. "Jiraiya says they knew they wouldn't make it from the start." They just didn't think it would end that bad.

"And they did it anyway." Sasuke said.

"They did it anyway." He echoed, barely hearing himself.

Bravery was the first thing that came to mind when someone was asked to describe a race driver. They were brave enough to put their lives on the line every other weekend just for a shot of adrenaline and the promise of greatness. They were brave enough to find danger the most exciting thing in the world, to move seas away from their family just to have a shot in the pursuit of a title that could very well kill them before letting itself be claimed and yet… Naruto was not brave enough for this.

Sasuke was though.

Naruto felt the cold of his hands on his neck, his own hands funding his waist. If he thought about it for even a second he would stop this and avoid both of them the trouble, but there was nothing going on in his head at the moment that didn't involve how pretty Uchiha was looking hesitant instead of angry before he kissed him. And he kissed him. A kidlike kiss, scared, short, sweet, before Naruto did the stupid thing and deepened it. He could hear his heartbeat in his ears, the smell of him was everywhere he felt so bubbly it was stupid. It was stupid how Sasuke could take over all of his senses with just a kiss, all of this was incredibly stupid and Naruto never claimed to be a very smart guy but he realized the level of stupidity when he pressed Sasuke down on the bed and caught the sight of his godfather's helmet with the corner of his eye.

It ruined Jiraiya. It made him bitter, not just the titles lost to the others but the whole pent up resentment of holding an almost ten year relationship from the public eye, entire seasons of no contact just to go back home and pretend they weren't competition, how it all came crashing down and burning at the end. Naruto didn't want any of that, he knew he wouldn't make it. So he stopped. He gave himself the right to feel his breath for a moment before he had to watch the confused fur of Sasuke's brown fade into something impersonal and he looked away. The moment was gone, he was regretting it too.

He tapped Naruto's torso as if telling him to get off and he got up on command, ceasing all contact. He went to the closet and collected the first bedding set he found before making his way out the room, the sound of his own blood pumping in his ears making him dizzy.

"Good night, Sasuke." He said without looking and he never heard an answer back.

Austrian Grand Prix, 2018

The 2018 F2 season was one of the most challenging competitions Naruto had faced in his life and because of that any moment of joy and every small victory were thoroughly appreciated. The Spielberg win only put him ten points ahead of Sasuke, which was nothing in F2 standards but hey, it was a win.

He stood on the podium. Uchiha in second, gorgeous as usual, evil, cheeks still red, and a newcomer in third. He took in the air to settle his own relief. He didn't feel like he had the energy to stay in the ring and watch the Grand Prix. Not like anyone expected anything different from 'Uchiha P1' anyway, the good Uchiha, not the evil one, but it was still a bummer. Itachi was invict so far in the F1 season, everyone was talking about how he was heading for another record, youngest world champion in history. He had to win, Naruto had long standing bets on him and once he himself got into F1 he couldn't bet anymore so he was counting on the not evil Uchiha.

"Is that..?" The third place said mid Australian anthem and gestured somewhere further in the crowd. Naruto followed his gaze and found  blond woman with huge sunglasses and a VIP pass looking straight at him.

"Oh my god, it's the GOAT." Naruto was about to combust into flames.

"What is she doing here?" Sasuke asked.

"She lives here." Naruto said.

"No, she lives in Vienna." Konohamaru answered.

"I mean here in Austria…"

"She never comes to races." Sasuke pointed out. "Even in Austria."

He didn't know, and honestly he didn't care. All he cared about was that Tsunade Senju was staring at him with a smile that could mean lots of things, could also mean nothing. He wanted to go over there and ask for her to sign his face.

He was changing out of the jumpsuit as the Prema Racing staff made their way out and he was halfway out of the paddock when he saw the commotion. About thirty people around a black car waiting to take a picture or whatever with the seven times world champion who politely entertained them. He thought to himself if Jiraiya would flip out if there was a picture out there in the world with his godson and his superior-driver ex-girlfriend. 

He did not have time to decide if he'd run that risk because Tsunade clocked him and waved. Naruto did the theatrical move to look behind him to check if there wasn't anyone else and looked back at her pointing at himself. She chuckled and waved for him to come closer and he went, of course. If Jiraiya asked he was coerced. He got close enough for the crowd to make way for him and if any cameras flashed he didn't notice.

"Nice to meet you, ma'am." He said, stumbling in his words.

"Congratulations on your victory." Her Austrian accent was stronger than in interviews. 

"Thank you." He felt his face get warmer.

"Brunch?" She asked throwing car keys at him that he barely caught.

"What?" He squicked out.

"Let's go have brunch." Not a question, he had to follow. 

For his fucking despair he opened the right door thinking she had decided to drive by opening the left and found himself staring at the steering wheel. He was expected to drive, of course, the keys were in his hand. But his license was Australian, where the driver sat on the left. He was going to die in Spielberg Austria because he couldn't say no to the GOAT. He sat down as she waved to the crowd again.

"Are you not going to watch the big race?" He asked, buying himself time trying to remember if the stupid pedals were in the same order before he had to turn it on.

"No. I'm here for you." She smiled at him. "Drive."

Yes ma'am. By the grace of God, he was driving that thing.

"Where are we going?" He asked when they were already on the road.

"I'll tell you when to turn." She looked outside the windows for a long time while Naruto screamed internally. "Left."

He managed to follow the instruction given two seconds too late. This would be way easier if he knew where they were going.

"So…" He started hoping she would finish it but she just stared at him.

"What?"

He laughed nervously and she grinned at him, his nightmares were getting very creative.

"Ma'am, why am I in your car?"

"Oh, this is not my car." She dismissed his worry.

He gripped the wheel feeling his soul leave his body.

"Ma'am, did we just steal a car?" 

"No, just borrowing." She looked back out the window. "I told him a million times to not leave the keys in the car. Just because it's the paddock doesn't mean it's safe, but Orochimaru refuses to change, so I'm teaching him a lesson." She said as if the lesson didn't include crime. 

He was driving the Red Bull team principal's car. Allegedly without his knowledge. It made sense now, the disabled patch, automatic gear. Naruto swallowed his fear.

"So where are we going?"

"You are very inpatient. Right." He almost lost the curve. "What do you think are your chances to get into F1 next year?"

She couldn't possibly be throwing a bomb after another and expecting him to catch them all.

"If I win the championship, good enough. But you never know." He shrugged.

"What's your dream in this stupid sport?" She asked.

"To be world champion." He hesitated to say the next part. "Break your record, ma'am."

She laughed. He expected something about how Jiraiya put him up to this.

"I think you'll be battling that one out with Itachi."

"That 's part of the dream." That's the only way he wants to win, beating legends at their best.

"You enjoy the competition? Not just the winning?"

"Of course." He said. "The sport is a cock fight, if you don't enjoy fighting why bother."

Tsunade smiled.

"Most drivers are lying when they say that. They go to bed crying every night and wake up hating their lives." He didn't know how to read it. "I liked it too, very much. Right again." 

He got the turn and she told him to stop. They ditched the car and walked to a bistro down the street. Tsunade led the conversation with the staff in German and in a matter of minutes they were sitting down and he found out she had already ordered for him. Strawberry pie. Jiraiya's favorite.

"So, I think you know I'm not paying for your food so we can make ourselves acquaintances."

He was surprised she would be paying at all if the stories were correct.

"Yes ma'am…"

"Fuck, Itachi got the penalty." she pointed with her nose to the tv on the counter and he looked back to see the graphics showing he would start in P6 instead of pole like he had qualified for the day before. "He better recover or I'll lose a thousand euro." She sighed. "Anyway, you are the best driver in your category."

He choked on his pie.

"Thank you ma'am."

"Don't get too excited before I tell you what I want."

"Okay."

"I won five titles with Williams. Then I retired and they got stupid. Terrible team, terrible cars, terrible drivers, awful, everything." Yeah, he knew. But he loved to hear her talk. "They offered me a job for next year. And you know, I'm old. I'm not very good at crocheting and betting isn't a good pastime if it ruins your life, so I was in need of a new hobby. And I said… yes."

She looked at him.

"Team principal of Williams?" He guessed.

"Two year contract and my conditions were that I could fire the drivers and half of the engineers."

His eyes widened.

"Did they let you?"

She laughed.

"No. But they settled for firing one driver and hiring more engineers. So, I get to pick who's going to fill the open seat." She looked at him again.

He didn't want to assume anything.

"And you picked… me?" 

"Of course." She said like his reaction was redundant.

He was stunned for a second.

"Thank you, ma'am I- I can't even begin to thank you for even..."

She snorted.

"Don't bother. You know it's a trap. You are a guy who likes competition and you'll win F2 to get into the worst team of F1. You are gonna hate it, you know that!" She laughed. "But my job is to fix this team, your goal will be to show off for your next employer. If we sign together we both get what we want."

He didn't know if the car would be enough to show off.

"Two year contract?" He asked.

"Two year contract."

"How much?"

"A singular million euro in the first season, open for negotiation in the second."

Higher than the current drivers, still a low bar starting salary.

Naruto stared at the pie. If there was an opening anyone would pick Sasuke for their team, he was not going to handle well if he had to race F2 another season and Sasuke didn't.

"Does the offer change if I don't win?"

"No, you'll win. I have money on you." She gave him a wink that was so familiar he wondered if she learned with his godfather or the other way around. She gave him a phone number. "I'll be in Abu Dhabi to watch Itachi get that trophy for me, and you'll tell me there what you think of the offer, okay?" She got up to leave.

"Okay." He said watching her get out the door without paying. 

She took the car too. 

What a legend.

He spent the rest of the season thinking about it, calling his godfather a million times to discuss it, reading the contract he got on email over and over, stressing about it. Jiraiya thought he should accept the offer immediately, promptly ignoring every comment Naruto made about how awesome Tsunade was. Sakura thought he should wait until Abu Dhabi, he could get better offers by then. His lawyer was useless in this discussion, as if he never thought he'd get that far. Naruto was terrified of him not only not getting a better offer but Williams finding someone else. Being completely honest, his major fear was Sasuke winning the championship and the offer going to him.

It was always about him, wasn't it? 

Naruto was doing such a good job pretending that kiss in his apartment never happened, but it always came back in moments like this. He made a mistake, sure, that was obviously a mistake. But it was just a silly mistake. Of course he was attracted to Sasuke, look at him, but it didn't mean much in the grand scheme of things, he had to make sure it didn't. He needed to talk to him about it. If they were both going to F1 next season they might as well go as friends rather than… whatever they were. There would be no time for silly moving forward.

He gave himself a date to fix both of his problems. After summer break, the Belgium Grand Prix.

Summer Break, Tokyo, 2018

Naruto had just won the Hungary weekend, putting him exactly five points ahead for the F2 championship. Sasuke wanted to commit murder.

"Every corner, every fucking corner, he's always there." He was more rude than necessary with his controller hoping it would make him feel better about himself. It didn't. "I can't get away from him, I can't beat him, I want to kill him."

He went home to Japan instead of Monaco. It had nothing to do with what happened before the Monaco Grand Prix. It was just that his brother wanted to go home instead of traveling for summer break like he usually did. Because F1 had double the races, he couldn't waste the opportunity to see him outside of race weekends so they were both in Tokyo.

Itachi was basically isolated at the top of the drivers championship, this was finally his year and everyone was ready to see him hold the damn cup. He came home to be humbled by their parents before it happened, and because the Drive to Survive contract Mercedes made him sign had something about a home visit in it.

"Aham. And how are the deportation laws in Monaco in case you decide to do it?" Suigutsu asked nonchalantly.

"Can you please take me seriously?"

He laughed.

"Uzumaki is not the first competitor you've ever been horny for, I can't help you if you don't tell me what's different." Suigetsu scored against him again in Fifa.

Sasuke threw the controller aside and layed down on his couch. Suigetsu and him met karting when they were both six years old. Their main difference being that while Sasuke lived and breathed that shit, Suigetsu was bored out of his mind. The fact that their friendship lasted this long, and the fact that he was the only long lasting friendship he had, was enough evidence needed to prove that Sasuke really couldn't be around people he considered a threat to his ambitions without making them enemies. 

Suigetsu was living proof that the moment he had in Monaco with Uzumaki went exactly how it was supposed to, for their own sakes.

But .

"Something happened." He said digging his nails in his arm.

Suigetsu crossed his legs dramatically.

"Go on." 

"He was flirting with Hinata the whole night, but he didn't make a move…"

He stopped him.

"Wait, what do you mean our dear friend Hinata Hyuuga?" It was absurd that Suigutsu actually kept up with fashion. "This guy is my hero."

"He didn't seal the deal, he's not your hero." Sasuke glared at him. "Naruto put the girls to sleep in his room and he showed me the guest room and we talked about some stuff with his godfather that I don't feel like I should tell you."

He nodded in understanding, going back to the game alone.

"Jiraiya. Legend."

"Then he laid down by my side and we… kissed."

Suigetsu paused the match.

"He lied down in your bed."

"Yes."

"And you kissed?"

"Yeah." He answered knowing there was nothing good possibly going on in his head.

Suigetsu just looked confused.

"And you didn't fuck him?" Sasuke glared again. "This is wrong. You are impulsive as shit, what happened?"

Sasuke let his head fall back and shoved a cushion into his own face.

"He got up before we could do something stupid." Very smart guy that Naruto. Occasionally.

Suigetsu waited a second before reaching for his shoulder.

"Ow, Sasuke-kun, it's your first rejection!" He was too happy about this. "Don't worry buddy, it will get better."

"I wasn't rejected, it was a mutual understanding." Sasuke said completely in the defensive.

"Now you are in denial." Suigetsu unpaused the game.

Sasuke stopped to think for a second. Yeah, that was textbook rejection. But he was there, he looked at those blue eyes like a lost puppy's when he said that they did it anyway. He kissed him harder, he pushed him down and… and he got up. Having the presence of mind to not commit to the mistake Sasuke was completely down for at that moment.

Sasuke pulled out his phone and showed his friend the text he'd been obsessing over for over a month.

"What does it mean?"

Suigetsu took the phone in his hand as one would take historical text.

"Hey Sasuke! Just stopping by to wish you a happy birthday! We haven't spoken much these last few months, which is good, I think. I would try to kill you if we did, you've been pissing me off. But I can't wait to beat you so we can talk properly. We could do that, right? Friends off-season? Anyways, hope 19 treats you well, bye!"

Suigutsu lowered the phone and stared at him.

"And you didn't answer? My god, why do you even have a phone if you don't talk to people?"

He shrugged.

"I was busy."

Suigetsu giggled, going back on their messages that were basically exchanges of locations of all the times one of them was out with Karin. 

"I'm feeling way better about our friendship if this is how you treat the guy you want to fuck."

Sasuke kicked him in his ribs.

"What do you think?"

He sighed, reading it again.

"I don't know what to tell you. I'd believe him. He sounds like a responsible guy and he wants to be your friend." He didn't know Naruto at all.

"I don't want to be his friend." Sasuke said, staring at the ceiling.

"Yes, but do you want to be anything more? Considering the circumstances?"

Did he? Really? Was it worth it?

"I don't know." He sighed. 

Suigetsu got up and patted his head.

"That's your summer homework then. Find out if you still want the guy that 100% rejected you."

"I don't do homework." Sasuke always regressed back to a petulant child when he was home.

"That's why I'm in University and you aren't." He flicked his forehead and headed out of Sasuke's room. "I'm hungry, go ask your brother for food."

He got up against his will and they went downstairs to find Itachi and about five cameras on him. He looked back at Sasuke's raised eyebrow and with a beautiful smile he whispered to him in japanese.

"I want these people out of my house." 

Sasuke rested a hand on his shoulder covering the mic in his shirt, trying not to laugh.

"They will translate this." Sasuke said in the same pleasant tone.

"No they won't." Itachi's faith in westerners was something to behold. "Save me." 

He shook his head in disapproval to his brother and turned to the crew.

"It was great having you here but we can't have guests over after five."

"Oh, don't worry!" The director said from his seat. "We won't bother!"

They already were.

"Sorry, it's tradition." Sasuke smiled. "We'll help you pack." And so they kicked them out in the most passive aggressive way possible.

Belgium Grand Prix, 2018 

Itachi was in the room across from him in the hotel, it never happened before. It was like it was the universe's last gift to him before it happened. He had every aspect of those three days committed to memory and for some reason he remembered the clocks very well, what time it was in every important beat that would hunt him forever.

24 August, Friday, 15:00: Itachi left the practice earlier because something went wrong with his car. 

24 August, Friday, 18:20: they ordered shrimp from room service and Kisame sent it back before they touched it because 'you can't eat risky foods before quali.'

25 August, Saturday, 9:45: Sasuke won the first race.

25 August, Saturday, 11:55: Itachi would start in pole position.

Itachi loved when they both had a good run, his family pride was often larger than his own. Sasuke didn't deserve him, really.

"Any offers?"

"Other than reserve driver for Mercedes, no." 

"The negotiation is over?" He was surprised. "When do you start?"

"Effective immediately." Sasuke said proud of himself. He'd be lounging around hotels a lot when there weren't F2 races to worry about. "I'm rooting for Kakashi to get into an accident so I can beat you in equal machinery."

Itachi began to laugh but his conscience caught up quickly.

"Don't say that…"

"He's overcoming his stay in the sport." Sasuke had very strong opinions about it.

"He's a four times world champion…" 

"And he only deserved three."

Itachi looked at him with disapproval but he knew deep down he agreed. Itachi felt last year's loss like he never felt anything before, not hating Kakashi or Danzou for it was something Sasuke would never comprehend how he did.

"He's not even that old." Itachi changed his focus to his food.

"Sure, if you compare it to your boyfriend he doesn't look that old…"

That earned him a kick.

"Get out of my room."

Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"C'mon!" He never understood the point of denying it, it gets to a point that keeping secrecy was just insulting all the pairs of eyes in their families.

"Out." At least he was smiling.

25 August, Saturday, 17:20: Naruto knocked on his door.

"Sasuke, are you here?" He didn't answer. Naruto texted him asking the same thing.

Uzumaki - Prema: are you in your room?

Sasuke Uchiha: no, why?

He lied.

Uzumaki - Prema: need to talk to you.

He wanted to have that talk, wanted to tell him he had no intentions of being friends, and hoped he would react like he wanted him to. But he wasn't ready, he didn't feel like having that conversation today.

Sasuke Uchiha: I'll find you tomorrow after the race.

Uzumaki - Prema: ok, my room is 903 

Sasuke Uchiha: ok

There, he was being responsible, where was his medal from the universe? 

26 August, Sunday, 8:20: Sasuke won the last race of the day. 

It was a hell of a victory and it helped that Naruto DNFed because an idiot lost control of his car and took three people off the race. He went back to the hotel instead of staying to watch Itachi get his third Spa win in a row. He would see many more of those in the next few years.

He washed himself off and thought about what the hell he was going to say. It wouldn't be a confession, he wasn't nine years old, it was more like a demonstration of interest. But Naruto had to speak first. Whatever he said would define his strategy. This wasn't a race but it certainly felt like one.

26 August, Sunday 9:45: he was at the door of room 903.

And his phone rang. 

It was Kisame.

"What?" He asked, odd timing for him to speak contracts since the race was still happening.

"Where are you?" Kisame asked in a tone he never heard before.

Sasuke frowned.

"In the hotel. What's wrong?" He felt the weight of the moment sink in.

"You are not watching the race?"

He turned away from Naruto's door.

"No, why…?"

"Sasuke, please don't look it up. Ignore your phone. Just… just hop into the car I sent to the door, don't talk to anyone." He… he was crying?

It was Itachi.

"What happened?" Sasuke asked, pressing the elevator button a million times trying to make it come faster. "Is he okay?"

"Lap 23, the car spinned in the second corner and Hyuuga went right through it." Sasuke felt his throat closing. Kisame was dumbing it down for him, he always did. He put his phone on speaker and opened twitter with his hands shaking. "They are both in the hospital."

It wasn't long before the video came to him and he wished he didn't see it. The Mercedes spin, the car was fine and as Itachi came out of a curve it flipped, it went fucking flying like a toy and the McLaren hit right into it because its pilot was too slow to get away. The Mercedes was thrown into a wall, shattered. Somewhere in that mess of metal and smoke he saw Itachi's head hanging sideways. He couldn't react. He heard Kisame call but he didn't answer, watching it on loop until it was taken down.

"You saw it." Kisame didn't have it in him to be angry. 

Sasuke was falling apart.

"Is he awake?" He swallowed.

"He lost a lot of blood."

"Is he going to live?"

"He 's in surgery."

" Is he going to live?"

There was a long silence before Sasuke got into the car.

"I don't know."

26 August, Sunday, 11:43: He was on pre-op. Pacing around in a hospital gown as the drugs flew through his system. Itachi, who gave him everything, who he would be nothing without, his idol, his hero, his brother who never asked for even a thank you, just  needed a kidney from him. A piece of flesh. And If he needed a heart Sasuke would have given him too. Gladly. 

They would take the punctured lung out and replace the ruined kidneys with his own. It was major surgery. He was lucky Sasuke was there at all, he wouldn't have much time after this. There was no damage to the spine or brain but he probably wouldn't race again anyway. Good thing Itachi was stronger than him, he would be grateful just to live, he had his priorities straight like that. And he would live. He would.

Kisame stopped at his door. Face marked for tears he had wiped away, suit once impeccable now thrown away in a chair somewhere in a waiting room. He stared at Sasuke.

"What?" He asked. Itachi wasn't going to die. Itachi was invincible. 

"Sasuke-kun." Kisame touched his shoulders.

"No." He felt himself sob.

"His body went into shock." He swallowed. "He didn't survive the surgery."

It was a lie. Itachi wasn't weak, he wasn't weak like him. 

"They are wrong." He tried to get away from him.

"They are not wrong, Sasuke."

"Shut up! You are wrong!" He was furious.

Kisame forced him into a hug as he kicked and screamed for as long as it took for him to believe him… and then he fell apart.

Sasuke was never quiet about his pain. Since he was a child he made every single one of his problems Itachi's problem too. He never complained and he always came to his rescue. For the first time in his life Sasuke cried and his brother didn't run to see if he was hurt.

"FIA has requested to inspect the car."

"That's common practice, isn't it?"

"Yes… but Mercedes is fighting back the order."

"Oh no."

"Danzou resigns from team principal of the Mercedes-Benz F1 team amidst a multi million dollar lawsuit the Uchiha family filed against the company after the accident that killed the young star, 23 year old Itachi Uchiha on August 26 2018. He has now been appointed as prime defender in a German court…"

"Mercedes has no reserve pilot since Sasuke quit, the audacity they had to even ask him to fulfill the contract disgusts me, Kakashi is refusing to race until the inspection on the car is completed…"

"It was confirmed, the car Itachi Uchiha was racing in the Belgium Grand Prix was in fact defective. There's no indication of foul play, but there is overwhelming evidence of human error..."

"...Mass firings and quittings are happening in the Mercedes team, it is falling apart, they should quit the season..."

"...I don't think you fully understand what losing Itachi like this means to the sport…"

"...All of our thoughts and prayers are with the family. The whole world is with them at this moment…"

"....RBR couldn't even wait for the body to cool before filling the motion to disqualify Mercedes from the constructor's championship…"

"...Redbull's dark horse Kurenai now leads the driver's championship followed by four times world champion Kakashi. Kurenai was 40 points behind Itachi before the accident."

"This can't taste good for any of them…"

"It certainly doesn't."

"Will they cancel Monza?"

"Of course not, the show must go on…"

"...We grieve today, we race tomorrow…"

"Grieve today and race tomorrow."

"We grieve today and we race tomorrow."

Tokyo, 2018 

Sasuke was at the wake. His mother had long passed out from crying, his father could only open his mouth to curse any god that would listen. And the family lawyers sat on a board and decided Itachi's life was worth 81 million euro. Nothing would be okay after this. 

Itachi's instructions were clear. Japanese traditional funeral, no press, only family. And in family he included Kisame's family, Seigutsu's family, Haku and Kimimaro, fucking Kakashi, and Kurenai despite how their friendship ended. Not a single person missing, all appropriately distraught.

He was shoulder to shoulder with Kisame, in the farthest corner of the room. Not that there were still people around, it was the dead of night. The people that loved him deserved to rest as well. He would be cremated the next day. Even the emperor sent him flowers, white roses. Either the man was a fan or his office was well informed.

"I don't want to go." Sasuke whispered knowing Kisame would listen.

"Sasuke." His voice was rough. He hadn't slept since the body landed in Japan. "That's not a decision you can make full of grief."

Sasuke sighed, feeling the tears wet his cheeks again.

"I can't… I don't want to, and I'm afraid…" and his mother begged him to not kill the only son she had left.

"Then go and just DNF." Kisame laughed at the atrocity he just said. "Because if you breach the contract with MP and don't show up, one of the penalties is that you can't race again. Ever."

He knew that.

"And Itachi wouldn't want to give away your dream for him."

He went karting for the first time because he wanted to be like Itachi. He wanted to be the best because he was tired of hearing how Itachi was the best. He wanted to fucking kill Naruto because Itachi saw something in him he never saw in Sasuke. He wanted to best Itachi in titles, because of course he was going to win titles plural, he was supposed to be a legend, he was supposed to demolish Tsunade's record, now that he was gone… What the hell was Sasuke supposed to be aiming for? What was this dream Kisame was talking about? How fair was it to surpass his brother if he would be frozen in time forever?

"You can decide if you want to quit at the end of the season." He hugged him with one arm. "Three more races."

"Three more races." He said back.

Italian Grand Prix, 2018

Naruto had a feeling Sasuke would hate to see him cry for Itachi. That he would be offended by it somehow. So he grieved the stranger that meant so much to him in private. 

He had just turned off the call with Tsunade.

"Don't let me down." She said from London.

"I'll try!" He laughed nervously. "Wait, no! I'll try to not let you down! I'll be good. I'll make you proud!"

"Alright, boy." She turned the call off and he was met with silence.

Naruto was in Formula 1. He fully intended to cry, get drunk, jump in the hotel bed, have Sasuke come in and kiss his stupid face until he admitted he was the superior driver. They should enjoy it, right? They were only rivals for three more races and then it was off season. Why not?

Then he glanced at the muted tv only in time to catch the car spinning before the camera cut to the teams watching it happen. He knew it was ugly because the race was immediately canceled. And Danzou looked pale.

Naruto Uzumaki: Hey dude, I saw the accident. We'll talk next time, I hope Itachi is okay.

And three hours later he was dead.

Sasuke never answered that text. Understandable, really, Hinata barely had time to answer and her brother came out of that accident well. It didn't stop him from sending another every day until they got to Monza. Naruto was surprised he was even there. Beaten, not paying attention to anything, responding to condolences only with a robotic "thank you" someone clearly made him rehearse. He shouldn't have to be civil in a situation like this, he shouldn't have to see cameras in his face or even race this weekend. It was cruel to force him out of mourning like that. Naruto wanted to protect him.

Sasuke DNFed Monza with an accident that made the entire audience collectively scream in fear before he got up and walked away like it was nothing. They could hear the screams from MP's principal from the entire paddock. He was under the impression the guy that had just lost a brother to a car would throw himself at a wall on purpose. What an awful thing to assume.

"I saw it." His cousin picked up the phone in the second ring.

"Have you been speaking to him?" He was something other than desperate, he was afraid Sasuke had done it on purpose, that maybe he didn't want to walk out of that accident.

She sighed, knowing very well who they were talking about.

"Only when he answers me." Naruto cursed. "He's speaking a little more with a friend of his from Japan I met at the funeral. I'm getting my updates from him. He's… not great. But Suigutsu doesn't think he would hurt himself."

Naruto nodded, forgetting she couldn't see him.

"He hasn't gone back to Monaco?" To the house he shared with Itachi? Of course not, why would he ask…

"No." She said. "But he's coming back with me after Christmas."

"You won't be in Monaco for Christmas?" He frowned.

"No, I'll be with my uncle in St Petersburg since now I'm an Uzumaki reject. The Uchiha are good friends with my grandparents, they will be there as well." She paused. "You should come with me."

He smiled to himself. Most of the Christmas of his life were spent in the house of friends of his godfather, it moved him that Karin wanted to be with him to celebrate it. It meant a lot to him that she would want him with her mother's family.

"Thanks cousin." But it was the Uchiha's first Christmas without a son, the less strangers to mess with the moment would be better. "But Sasuke is grieving a brother…"

"Mrs and Mr Uchiha chose to go to St Petersburg because they don't want to be alone with their grief. There will be a bunch of drunk Russians in the house, and many other strangers, you won't be the odd man out, I promise." She spoke rapidly before he could fight back. "The dinner is on the 23rd. Come? Please?"

Naruto stared at the wall. He wanted to make her happy, wanted to see what a cold Christmas was like for the first time, he really wanted to see Sasuke.

"He won't like it."

"If he doesn't like it at least he reacted, at least we know he's alive somewhere in there." She blurred out. "Please?"

He closed his eyes. Naruto didn't remember grieving his parents but he assumed it had to be bad, he would respect it. If he had a gateway plan he could run the risk, if Sasuke asked him to leave he simply would leave and be okay with it. 

"Okay. But please ask your uncle about it, I don't even know him to show up uninvited to a Christmas dinner."

She snorted.

"Don't worry, he already likes you."

Karin offered no explanation for that.

Abu Dhabi, 2018 

Sasuke finished P8 in Sochi, getting him officially out of the competition for first place, and Naruto went to race in Abu Dhabi horrified by the notion that he only needed two points to be F2 world champion. He got them in the sprint race. His first world title. He won. And he cried, god, he cried. Naruto was horrifically sad by the circumstances of it all, sad that he never beat Sasuke fairly because of what happened to him, sad he wasn't on the podium by his side, refusing to look at him out of spite. He cried for Itachi, for his idol that would be frozen forever in the promise of being the greatest of all time, never being allowed to fulfill it. Boy, he cried.

"Naruto, how are you feeling?"

"So grateful. So grateful. I just wish I could see Itachi race this weekend."

Kurenai got her first F1 title, first woman since Tsunade. The video of her sitting on the ground crying with the white rose crown in her lap was everywhere. He was one year her senior when she left Formula 2 and signed with Renault. They were the young talents, supposed to mature together and fight for titles for the rest of their careers. Now they would never have the chance.

"I think it just hit me that we lost him, that Itachi won't be here next year. I- I owe it to him to be happy, but I don't think I can do it today. I'm sorry. I'll miss him forever. We will all miss him forever."

Tsunade was there to congratulate her, kissing her helmet and shouting words to the world champion that were lost to the crowd's noise. It was a night to remember. The two of them together would be tomorrow's headline, but she went to dinner with Naruto. The rest of his life was right ahead of him. He had a two year contract with Williams and a career to plan. 

Half the people quitting Mercedes were coming to work for Williams after Tsunade was announced team principal, skilled and experienced people, but apparently deeply traumatized by their failure and insecure. The executives were not big fans of those hirings, but the GOAT convinced them to accept it. Naruto decided to trust she knew what she was doing. She could convince anyone to do anything, that's how he, his godfather, his agent and Tsunade Senju ended up on the same table signing his contract after the race.

"You cheated in 89." Jiraiya was already drunk in the restaurant's wine and about to commit a felony under emirate law, Naruto could feel it.

"Sign here please." His lawyer gave him a stack of paper and happily gave him instructions. O'Malley was a good lad, Naruto liked him, most of the time.

"Go ahead." Tsunade wasn't that far behind him. "Tell me your brilliant fucking theory of how I used witchcraft to cause an eight car pileup when I wasn't even one of the cars involved!"

Naruto frowned at the papers.

"The media contract is different?" 

"Yes, you should read it again, the changes are signaled."

"You did an impossible curve in the rain and made that bitch Roger think he could do it too!" The people on the table behind them turned to look.

" Jiraiya ." Naruto scolded, too used to being the adult of this relationship.

"Oh, so being a superior driver is a crime now?" Tsunade answered in a way lower tone. "You are a pathetic, pathetic, pathetic little man…"

"Wait, the Netflix reality show will still happen?" Naruto was sure Itachi's death had put an end to the entire operation.

"I'm going to shove my entire prosthetic leg up your ass…" Jiraiya mumbled.

"...Do that and you are not getting it back." She threatened him with a fork still bloody from her beef.

"Well, it's more of a documentary." O'Malley wasn't as upset as he should be by Naruto's standards. "They have been recording since 2017, and FIA already has another two year contract signed. It costs too much to break it, so they are just furiously editing the footage for it to look more… flattering."

How do you make the death of a 23 year old look flattering?

"That's cold." It hurt Naruto to hear. "Did the Uchiha get a say on this?" He wasn't sure if he would be okay with it if Itachi was his son or his brother.

"As far as I know they have veto power on anything regarding Itachi." O'Malley frowned at the two senior citizens holding their breaths to each other. "But their lawyers negotiated an insane raise on the price of Itachi's use of image, impressive work."

It would be a really tough Christmas if they had to go through the entire thing. And Naruto had to reserve at least a week in his schedule just to cry while watching whatever survived Sasuke's cut.

"They will be at your announcement too."

Yes, he would be going to England next morning and only leave in time for Christmas. Ebisu had been confirmed to stay for one more season at Spa, but every single news was overshadowed by the accident, so Williams had been radio silent since about new hirings. They had a lot to prepare for.

Jiraiya was the first to breath but it was Tsunade's blood pressure that Naruto had to go find a way to check. He couldn't be sure if unhealthy competition meant they were rekindling their old relationship or if he should be worried about possible physical violence. He couldn't help but wonder if it would be safer leaving them alone if the third he never met was there. He saved that thought to himself, none of the two would probably appreciate it.

His godfather always had people around, but never long enough for Naruto to learn their names. He always thought there was something deeply sad about Jiraiya and at some point he decided that it was because his career was interrupted. But he wasn't immature enough to spend the rest of his life grieving just for that. He might be beginning to understand it now.

"Thirty years and I still love him, you know?" Tsunade said to him bluntly as he ripped the velcro off the device and put it back in the box. His throat felt tight all of a sudden.

"He loves you too." He said back to her fully knowing she might not remember tomorrow.

"I know." She looked at him with mischief in her eyes. "You make decisions when you are a driver thinking your life will end the second you are out of F1, that your career will end and you'll simply… do as an old lion and wander around alone in the savannah until something kills you." Tsunade accepted his help in taking off her shoes and she sat down on her bed. "Then you love. You love a love that could transcend all this bullshit and it's exactly all this bullshit that ruins it." She sighed. Little emotion, like she had gone through this thought a million times in her life. "If I had quit on my sixth title I would have them both." Was this about the accident? She couldn't have known about it. "And if you went back in time and told me 'hello, idiot, quit now or you'll lose your boys.' I would still have not quit." She didn't mean it as a joke, but she laughed either way. "And they would both say the same. We truly deserved each other, didn't we?"

Naruto sat down by her side. He always wanted to ask. He really did. But what once was pure curiosity had morphed into something utterly terrifying. What the hell was he going to do with the answer? Why did he want to know?

"Was it worth it?" He whispered before he knew exactly what he was asking. "Chasing the dream and still keeping them around?"

Tsunade looked at him with the saddest smile he'd ever seen. She shook her head.

"No." Pure and simple.

There was his answer. No.

Naruto's heart sank.

He wasn't feeling brave enough to ask her anything more.

St Petersburg, 2018

"Is it on?" Itachi hit the mic with the tip of his finger. He was in the Mercedes white shirt.

"Yes, it's recording." He hummed to the director and looked straight at the camera. "Please look at me, Itachi, not the camera. Interview rules."

"Oh, sorry."

"So, how are you feeling for this new season?"

Itachi took a deep breath.

"Good."

Sasuke snorted. His brother was an idiot.

"Is it going to be thirty hours of this?" He asked, playing with the wedding band on his mom's finger.

"Pretty much." Kisame answered standing at the edge of the room, the farthest away from the TV on the Hoshigaki home theater.

"Can I veto everything?" He asked just for asking.

"We are contractually obligated to greenlight at least 45% for the editing." His father said from the armchair on his left. "Itachi did sign a contract."

"Mercedes made him sign it…"

"Sasuke." His mother squeezed his hand. She was tired of fighting. They all were.

"You don't have to do everything in one go." Kisame crossed his arm. "You read the script, there's nothing gross. They just want the okay on the footage they chose."

The drive was divided into folders. Folder A was for the footage of him for the main season storyline, B was for footage they would use for his part leading up to the accident, C was for anything regarding the accident and D was a 'gift' from the crew. Recordings they wanted them to have. And inside folder D there was another folder labeled 'Sasuke'. He was particularly terrified by that one.

They killed most of it on their first night in St Petersburg, with the expected amount of crying and much more laughter than Sasuke thought it could have. There were very few vetoes on A. His mother didn't like the two occasions her son cursed on the six hours they watched and Kisame asked them to cut the footage of him getting to the paddock in Barcelona for the free practice without much explanation. That made Sasuke watch it in a loop trying to see what he saw until his dad took the control away from him because he got annoyed. The most cuts were oddly from B than from C. The accident was very factual, nothing the news had not already shared. But in B Itachi praised  Mercedes too much. It was infuriating what they did to someone who loved that team like that. That footage would be better used in Court. they didn't feel Itachi's absence for the first time since they lost him. It was something to treasure.

Sasuke liked the Hoshigaki house a lot. He spent a few Christmases there, but he met Kisame on the first. The oldest daughter of the family didn't go, the youngest didn't speak English and Mr and Mrs Hoshigaki were terrifying people for his young self, but incredibly funny, he had to admit. At the end of the week his dad and twelve year old Itachi were equally enamored with their only son, who was graduating from Moscow State University, although for very different reasons. Sasuke only saw Kisame again four years later when Itachi started to build his own net worth through racing and Fugaku finally had a good reason to hire his godson's agency. Kisame had been looking for an excuse to expand from football anyway, Itachi was his way into motorsports. Since then the Russian had always been around. He was in Sasuke's first win, his first accident. There was no one else he would rather have by his side when they lost Itachi, he hoped one day he could repay him.

It was a rich person's house trying too hard to look appropriate for the time it was built, around the time Kisame's family went back to Russia. Lots of windows, wood floors, extremely modest by Monte Carlo's standards but still showed exactly why they had to flee the country in the twenties. The Hoshigaki family's sketchiness was only corroborated by their very old friendship with the Uchiha, the sketchiest family on the planet.

"He was really good wasn't he?" His father asked him very privately by his side in the couches after a long silence. They were just watching the conversation between Mrs Hoshigaki and his mother about the relationship between her and her oldest daughter, and how it went to shit after she took Karin's side in the fight. Sasuke wasn't surprised by the question.

He never understood their sport, he thought it was the only reason none of his sons were interested in the family companies. So after years of getting used to it he simply learned when to congratulate them when they won and when to find someone to be mad with when they lost. This was maybe the first time he realized how big Itachi actually was, that his career wasn't just numbers in a contract, how many people were grieving him too.

"He was." Sasuke said by his side watching his father's eyes water again as his own went back to burning.

Fugaku leaned on his son and put an arm around his shoulder, nuzzling his nose on his hair.

"Why don't you want to quit?" He asked.

Sasuke's throat closed. It was the first thing his mother asked of him when his plane landed in Japan, her mother's instinct telling her to focus on the child that was left and keep him alive at all cost. But his dad's attention was solely on Itachi, as was Sasuke's. He foolishly thought it meant he wouldn't ask that of him, that he wouldn't have to fight that battle on two fronts, and wouldn't have to break both of his parent's hearts.

Sasuke was legally an adult and half of Itachi's money went to him, he had the means to put himself through another season on his own. There was no tangible way they could actually make him stop. Did he want to stop? No. But of course he was afraid, his brother died on a race track, you can't go back after this. He didn't know what would have been worse, if the evaluation had shown that Itachi really made a mistake or the car really being fucked up, both were horrifying. The possibility of the first filled him with fear of himself and the second with fear of everything else. The hundred hands he was offering his life to just to put on a helmet. So why. How could it be that he did not want to quit?

Naruto was declared F2 champion in Abu Dhabi. It was an early victory so he was alone in that first podium, loud and proud, gorgeous. Sasuke hated him at that moment with all his heart. Once he knew the feeling of being in a podium looking down he would never be okay being in the crowd looking up. He needed to feel it again. If he was ever going to stop it wouldn't be now, now he simply couldn't.

"I want to win a championship for him." It barely came out. His parents would believe if he pretended his need wasn't selfish, but only them. Anyone else would be right to assume the worst of him.

"Then you quit?"

Sasuke nodded.

"Yeah." He lied.

Fugaku sighed, kissing his hair and letting go of him. Sasuke wasn't sure if he believed him. He fixed his son's tie.

"Okay." 

No matter what happened next, this sport was not going to be the thing that killed him, he was not going to let it ruin him. Sasuke was not going to be just another gear in the machine, he was not going to be used, he was not going to play the game. But he was going to win it. That he promised.

He heard the car stop in the driveway and cleaned away his tears. Not the moment.

"Look what I found." Kisame came in followed by two Uzumakis in formal attire.

Mrs Hoshigaki yelped, getting up to hug her granddaughter with all her strength and kiss her face until it was as red as her hair. Sasuke watched with horror as his mother introduced herself to Naruto, awkwardly standing behind the happy family, and he felt his own father get up to go see them. He had read through the notifications that Karin was bringing Naruto, and Kisame did warn him, but it still felt like a personal attack. He eventually had to get up.

"Thank you, Mrs Uchiha, it's very kind of you…" She had complimented his season, his mom at least understood the sport.

"Call me Mikoto." She said.

Absolutely not.

"Ah! Thank you!" He opened a blinding grin.

Sasuke showed up from behind his mother and gave Naruto a polite smile, patting his arm trying to not seem too hostile.

"Don't call her that." He said, hoping he would get the humor. He looked nice in gray and black. He liked his shirt. Wait.

He had just heard his dad telling Karin how he held her as a baby but soon her arms were around him and he hugged her back. It felt like they hadn't seen each other in years and not one or two months ago.

"Merry Christmas." He said to her hair.

"Please don't scare me like that again." She said, stepping back to hold his face. He nodded. "Merry Christmas." She kissed his cheek. He was getting better, honestly.

Once the Uzumakis were there dinner was served and Mr Hoshigaki flexed his wine opening abilities for the table, earning applauses only half ironic. He liked days like this. He wished Itachi was there. That thought pushed him to finish a wine glass.

"Congratulations on the championship." He said looking forward when the person that should hear it was actually by his side.

"Thank you, Sasuke." He said, clearly walking in eggshells with his answers.

He wanted to roll his eyes.

"And congratulations on the Williams contract." He said, thinking of the cutesy Christmas themed reveal they had for him. It was almost laughable to put Ebisu by Naruto's side and pretend they were equals. At least he would never have to worry about being the second driver. "I would say my condolences but, who knows, maybe the GOAT will perform a miracle."

"Thank you, it's nice of you." He smiled. What was that? Fear Sasuke would bite him? Accuse him of stealing his life? He didn't want his shitty seat at Williams and he knew he wasn't getting that championship the second he lost Itachi, the fact that he could even think he had any part in his misery was just…

Sasuke snorted. He turned to Karin just beyond Naruto's seat.

"Tell your cousin to stop treating me like a grenade." She stopped her fork before it met her mouth and looked at Naruto to see if he would refute. The idiot didn't seem bothered at all, only smiling at his plate and then turning to look at Sasuke. He was so hot, it was disrespectful, this was a family event. 

Naruto pressed his lips, knitting his brow just slightly to show sympathy.

"I'm sorry for your loss, Sasuke. That 's all." 

He didn't need his sorry, his pity, anything his, really. But if Sasuke spoke his voice would fail, so he didn't. 

And that was definitely Sasuke's shirt, he regretted ever saying he could keep it.

He forced himself to be present in the moment. He watched Kisame make Karin step on his feet to dance the song on the video of her 12 birthday as if she was still a child. Naruto seemed to be under the impression he could out drink the retired Japanese businessman and a Russian grandma, but he was doing a good job not embarrassing himself. If Itachi was there he would be smiling, pushing the glasses away from the edges of the table, fact checking live every single one of Kisame's stories, right by his side, saving his odd comments for his brother. He would have a laugh at Naruto wearing the only dress shirt Sasuke didn't hate. He wasn't there, unfortunately. So Sasuke took a wine glass from the reach of Mr Hoshigaki's elbow before something happened.

"Who's your agent again?" Kisame asked, filling Naruto's glass one more time. It was Christmas fucking eve and he was already making Itachi's will count. Something about making sure Uzumaki wouldn't flop.

"Oh, O'Malley." He drank.

"O'Malley?" Kisame's neutral reaction was the most judgemental thing in the world and Sasuke rolled his eyes knowing that tone would go right into Naruto's head. "Ask him about Brittania and then give me a call, okay?" He patted his shoulder and winked at Sasuke from across the room. 

"Your uncle is an opportunist little shit." He said to Karin and she hugged him tighter from their place on the couch.

"He deserves it, it was a very long season."

Yeah, a very long season.

The night ended like all nights since the accident. Everyone went back to their rooms with kisses and hugs and Sasuke finding his way to a window. He changed his clothes before moving around the house like a ghost. He had a place that he liked already, he just had to wait for Karin's and Naruto's rooms to go quiet. He wasn't going to sleep anyway, so he had no problem waiting. The Hoshigaki house had this huge sealed glass observatory on the lower levels. Itachi found it, he said it looked like an aquarium. And it did serve its purpose, the snow falling rivaled the Christmas lights as to what was more painfully beautiful when Sasuke felt only ugliness inside him.

He sat there and wished for Itachi to be by his side saying something dumb about how fascinating it is that snowflakes are cute but a blizzard is the most horrifying thing in the world. Sasuke missed him every second of every day. Everytime he opened his phone his finger led him to their chat, the last message he ever got from him being a 'ok, see you there' to a lunch they never got to share. It was cruel. People grow up kind of prepared for the idea that their parents are going to die, but not their siblings, not like this. Sasuke was stuck in this world where there wasn't Itachi and he was alone in a sport that hated him. He wanted to get out.

He felt the steps approaching him, not subtle at all in the silence of the room, but his suspicion on who it was was only confirmed by the reflection of the orange hoodie on the glass.

"I've seen snow like… three times in my life." Naruto said. "Nothing like this."

Sasuke sighed. Great.

"You thought Russian winter being heavy was a con?"

He smirked and sat down on the floor by his side. Naruto was impossibly handsome, even if winter colors didn't suit him. Well, he was a terribly effective distraction to his suffering.

"I call my dad sometimes, you know?" Naruto said and Sasuke stared at him. Minato Namikaze had been dead for years, he wasn't sure why it only hit him now that Naruto was an actual orphan.

"What do you say?" He asked, knowing it would hurt him.

"Mostly just life updates. I tell him about Karin, about Tsunade." He hesitated for half a second. "About you." How pathetic it was that he could feel about to burst to know Naruto's dead dad knew who he was? "Feels good when you know you won't get some cosmic feedback, when you accept it is just you talking to yourself and you kind of embrace how much of that loss is you now." He shrugged. "Or some shit." 

Putting 'or some shit' after all that almost made him laugh.

"You don't believe he's listening?" Not even a little bit?

Naruto shook his head no.

Itachi didn't believe there was anything after death but Sasuke never gave much thought to it. It was dangerous territory for race drivers. Fearing death could end your dreams quicker than anything else in this sport.

"But it still makes me feel better." He played with the strings of his hoodie. "And I really want you to feel better, Sasuke. Everything is just so boring when you are not around." He looked at him with those clear blue eyes and Sasuke was rendered quiet for a moment.

"You'll get used to it." He said softly, afraid of ruining something he might want to see through. "F1 and all." Sasuke mocked.

He chuckled as if just reminded of the life-changing thing that was him switching categories next year.

"I kinda wanted to talk to you about that actually." Naruto took a deep breath. "Listen," He turned his body fully to him. "You are the only competitor that actually makes me mad and I want to punch you most of the time for some reason." Sasuke rolled his eyes and Naruto took his hand to keep his attention. "But I really meant what I said, I want us to be friends." Sasuke didn't. "And we are not competition anymore, for at least a year, So…" His lip quivered. "Don't you think it will be good having someone that understands what you are going through around?"

God yes, that was the thing he needed the most at that moment. Someone that could understand his grief and his refusal to quit at the same time, he'd survived two rounds of F2 alone and he almost broke two times a year maybe just having someone around the corner would be enough, and, fuck, Naruto was in F1. He willingly signed up to swim with sharks, of course he was afraid. Of course he was searching to keep at least something familiar around, and how nice it was that he thought of keeping him, but…

I don't want to be your friend.

"The kiss in Monte Carlo kinda ruined everything, didn't it?" He managed to speak. Eyes focused on Naruto's fingers on his, tanned and strong 

Naruto frowned slightly.

"Why?"

'Why?' Really?

"I don't kiss my friends, Naruto." He hoped he wasn't dense enough to not understand this.

"I do." He shrugged. "It doesn't have to be a big deal." It didn't have to be a big deal. It really meant nothing to him. 

Sasuke had nowhere to hide his face, nowhere to channel his anger and above all he was hurt. This was officially a rejection, the kiss he was obsessively thinking about before his world turned upside down was just a spur of the moment mistake for Naruto, something that could be made to go away with the power of friendship. Good, honestly, great. 

He felt his eyes burn so his solution was to laugh.

"That's a relief." He pulled himself together and Naruto's smile widened to see him apparently relax, but in reality he was just admitting defeat. It meant nothing, now he was free to move on. "So we are friends now?" At least he managed to sound happy about it.

"Yeah!" Naruto pulled him into a hug that Sasuke didn't get to escape from and then he was stuck there nuzzled on the crook of his neck, surrounded by his smell, overwhelmed by the excuse to touch him. His hair was softer than It looked, the inevitable confusion of their legs wasn't as awkward as it should. It didn't make sense. Sasuke really didn't want to be his friend, he wanted to kiss his neck and ruin everything right there but it really wasn't worth it to risk another 'no'. This way he at least gained a friend. He could be happy about that, right?

He was the one to break away and wasn't with lack of restraint that he avoided asking 'really?' out loud before he used the excuse of going to sleep to get away from Naruto, and process this alone.

"Goodnight, Sasuke." He smiled before closing his bedroom door, probably congratulating himself for his diplomatic success while Sasuke closed his own door and wanted to scream.

It was Itachi's room actually. The one he always chose when they were in the house. Which meant it was basically Sasuke's room, since no way in hell his little self would sleep alone in the scary Russian house. There was nothing of him there other than the memories. It was an odd thought, that he would make no more memories with his own brother. Well, not really. He had one last memory to go.

He opened folder D, then the one labeled 'Sasuke' and let it play. They were at their parents house in Japan. Sasuke was playing FIFA with Suigetsu a floor above. 

"Itachi, if you don't mind, this footage might be used in future seasons so we wanted to talk about possible future pilots. Do you keep up with F2?"

He shook his head yes, not very enthusiastically.

"Yeah, I have a brother in F2." Of course he kept up with it, he couldn't let Sasuke race a day without notes. " They have a remarkable generation in their hands, I hope we can use it properly."

"Can you tell us a little about your brother?"

He shrugged.

"What do you want to know?"

"Well, he's having an incredible season." Before he lost you. "He might be going into F1 next year, and, you know, the first thing anyone will do is compare you two. So can you use that framing? Talking about you two in parallel?"

Itachi didn't seem to like that. But he sighed.

"I'm… six years older. My first fully, like, aware memory is holding my brother in the hospital. And then he's right there in the corner of every other memory since." He smiled at the director. "I really enjoy being 'big brother' and Sasuke will never admit it but loves being 'baby brother'." Sasuke felt the tears coming down. If he had ever admitted, would he feel any better now? "His temper is awful." Bastard . "Until he gets in the car and suddenly he's a little adult completely focused doing his thing. He's a great driver." Nice save.

"Do you think he's more talented than you?"

Itachi and him snorted at the same time. What a shitty question. 

"No." Bitch. "But he will certainly be a better pilot than me." Oh. " I'm… not sure how I can explain this, but… motorsports for me is a sport. It's incredibly fun, I enjoy racing, I enjoy winning. I've met incredible people, I love the sounds and the smell of burning rubber, but it's a part of my life, it's not my life. Sasuke- I don't know if it's because he's so young, but this is his life. This is him, 'driver' is not his job is who he is, he could go to sleep listening to a motor warming, he studies the cars, he knows things I never bothered to learn and he gets itchy if he spends too long away from the track."

"There's something about my brother that truly reminds me of that golden… age of the sport in the late 80's early 90's when the Sennin were still racing and everything was so big and insane and four records were broken and set a week." He laughed through his nose, he could be remembering anything, or nothing. But if Sasuke had to guess he was thinking of the time Sasuke learned the narration to Orochimaru's first title by heart and keep reciting it for days until he resorted to violence to shut him up. They were so grounded.

"He will be legendary, I have no doubt." Itachi's smile was so honest, so passionate, he fully believed his words. "Sometimes I have this weird feeling that I only got into the sport because it's a big brother's job to ease the path for the younger brother. I was born with talent because he was meant to be a driver and…" He shrugged. "I honestly think I'll have succeeded when he surpasses me."

"When?" The director asked just to be funny.

He sat with the question for a second.

"Yeah, when." Final. "I do love that idiot." Sasuke loved him too. "He'll do great things."

The sound of footsteps going down the stairs was caught on mic and Itachi turned to see Sasuke, less than six months younger than he was now and yet looking like a child. That kid had no idea what would hit him.

"I want these people out of my house." Itachi whispered to him and the Sasuke watching laughed when the one on the screen held it together. He rested a hand on his brother's shoulder covering the mic in his shirt.

"They will translate this." Sasuke said and it was only partially muffled by the mic.

"No they won't." And they didn't. "Save me." That little joke dug a knife deep in his heart. He would never get to save him.

Sasuke found himself rooting for his past self to not get those cameras turned off, to force Itachi to speak as long as possible, but eventually the footage was over. And his tears turned into sobs. He was gone. He really was gone. Sasuke lost his brother and set his future back at least another year. He was nowhere near the person Itachi had described so proudly to those strangers, he didn't know, and now would never know, how much of that he actually meant. But he desperately wanted to be him. For Itachi.

He had a lot of work to do.