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Reigen stood at the window with his back to Katsuya, hands placed casually in his pockets and one hip cocked slightly to the side. Their conversation had reached a natural lull, so Katsuya took the chance to observe his boss when he wasn’t putting on a show.
The afternoon sunlight made Reigen’s silhouette soft around the edges as he looked out upon the street below, keeping an eye out for Shigeo as he left the office. It was heartwarming how much Reigen clearly cared about Shigeo, even if he’d also clearly stumbled when Shigeo had asked him for relationship advice. Reigen didn’t possess his usual confidence when it came to dating, at least if the way that he’d surreptitiously checked Mobgle on his phone for answers or his pessimistic comments to Katsuya after Shigeo had left were any indication.
It was a strange and unexpected revelation. Katsuya had expected dating to be just another topic that Reigen would spin into something easily manageable for the troubled party while showing off his experience and expertise. Instead, Reigen had tried to fake his way through it before he’d given up and told Shigeo to just be honest. Then he had admitted to Katsuya that he thought that he would get rejected on the spot if he showed his true self...
Katsuya was learning many things about Reigen these days, especially now that Dimple was gone and Shigeo was spending less and less time at the office. He now knew that Reigen’s favorite color was pink, that he could get drunk off a single lemon sour, and that he loved dogs. But he also knew that Reigen wasn’t in touch with his family, that he had an older sister who was his parents’ favorite, and that he wasn’t always the most truthful person, which included not showing people his true self. It had bothered Katsuya a little at first, but he was coming to terms with it. Reigen was a showman at heart, which by nature required him to be familiar with dishonesty. He was a walking contradiction, spinning enough truth into his statements that people believed and followed him, but never actually opening up enough to actually be seen.
Except for with Katsuya. Every once in a while, Katsuya got a glimpse behind the curtain, and rather than making him recoil as Reigen seemed to think that it would, every imperfect piece he saw made him want more. To think that a person as outwardly self-confident, charismatic, and talented as Reigen Arataka experienced bouts of self-loathing, just like Katsuya, had been hard to fathom at first. It still was, sometimes. Reigen was flawed, of course. That was a given. But he had still made something of himself. He had his own business, he was kind and generous at heart (another contradiction, Katsuya knew, but it was still true), and he made his living helping others.... Simply put, Reigen was successful, and people liked him. People in need drew to him like a moth to a flame. Katsuya had been one of those people, once upon a time. Months later, though, he was still here, standing by Reigen’s side.
Maybe it was because the difference between Reigen’s pull on Katsuya and a flame’s pull on a moth was that there was no destruction here, just growth and what Katsuya tentatively called friendship, even if only in his head.
The only fuel for Reigen’s self-loathing that made sense to Katsuya was a secret of his that Katsuya had long suspected and was now certain of: Reigen didn’t have psychic powers. Katsuya didn’t know how he had ended up in his line of business without them, but at this point, it didn’t seem to matter. Reigen still helped people. He had successfully helped two (real) espers gain the confidence to accept themselves and learn how to control their powers, and he had a long list of clients whose lives he had improved. That, more than anything, was what mattered to Katsuya. Of course Katsuya wished that Reigen could be honest — both with other people and with himself — but Katsuya was no stranger to lies. He’d told himself plenty across his lifetime, and nearly believed them, too. He knew what had driven him to lie, and he knew what might drive other people, like Reigen, to do so. To Katsuya, the fruits of a person’s labor were more important than how they got there. And Reigen’s labor bore many fruits.
When Katsuya was feeling generous towards himself, he included his own reentrance into society as one of those fruits. When he wasn’t...well, it wasn’t Reigen’s fault if Katsuya still sometimes stumbled. Reigen had been extremely generous in giving Katsuya the chance to prove himself and helping him with so many things. That in itself counted as a good fruit no matter what happened to Katsuya, right?
Katsuya was pulled out of his contemplation when Reigen suddenly shifted his weight from one hip to the other and sighed quietly, still standing by the window. Katsuya hadn’t moved from where he was standing next to Reigen’s desk, either.
Katsuya wet his lips.
“Are you worried about Shigeo-kun?” he asked.
Reigen sighed again. “No, I’m not. He’ll be fine.”
He sounded as though he truly believed it, which was good. There was something about his tone that implied that he had more to say, though, so Katsuya stayed silent, holding his breath, waiting for the rest. Sure enough, after a pause that felt as if it lasted both a heartbeat and an eternity, Reigen said:
“I was just thinking, Tsubomi-chan and Mob... They can exist without distorting each other... I hope I can become a partner like that.”
Katsuya’s mouth was suddenly very dry. When had it gotten so dry? He swallowed several times before he felt capable of responding. His heartbeat sounded very loud in his ears. He really hoped that it wasn’t audible to anyone other than himself.
“I don’t feel distorted in your presence, Reigen-san.”
Reigen turned on his heel to look at Katsuya, his lips parted slightly and his eyes wide, one hand slipping out of his pants pocket in a clearly unconscious gesture. Katsuya broke out in a cold sweat immediately. It was one thing to get the words out of his mouth when Reigen was facing away from him. It was another thing entirely to see Reigen’s face and not be able to tell whether his reaction was negative or positive, if his statement had landed properly, or what his boss was thinking. The shocked silence between them lasted just long enough that Katsuya felt the need to break it, if only to get Reigen moving again, as he still was standing there, unmoving, just...staring at him.
“S-so if I feel this way around you, then other people can, too, right? It’s like what you said to Shigeo-kun.”
Reigen’s eyelids fluttered subtly, and his Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed. For someone who was comprised of so many big gestures, Reigen had a surprising number of smaller tells, too, if only Katsuya could know for sure what they meant.
“Which part?” Reigen asked, his voice a little raspy.
“All of it. Well, everything you said after you’d already closed your phone.”
Reigen coughed out a laugh, clearly surprised, and then pointed an accusing finger at Katsuya. “Serizawa! Are you making fun of me?”
Despite his tone and body language, Katsuya could tell that Reigen wasn’t actually upset with him. Whatever had thrown Reigen off earlier, Katsuya’s straight-faced ribbing seemed to have righted the ship, as Reigen was back in motion and as loud as ever. Katsuya felt a little warm, knowing that he’d been able to do that.
“I would never, Reigen-san. After all,” Katsuya added, unable to resist poking him a little more, “you just gave me and Shigeo-kun such good advice about being genuine.”
Reigen coughed and cleared his throat loudly, his hands beginning to move around him as if he were swatting away a gnat. “Yes, well, you know what they say about honesty being the best policy and all that! Anyway, enough of this relationship talk! We have a business to run! What if a client were to come in right now? Although, I suppose we could always start giving clients relationship advice...because disorderly relationships can attract spirits, you know...”
Katsuya moved back to his little school desk, suppressing a smile. Reigen continued to air his thoughts about the idea of offering clients “spiritual advice” as Katsuya settled back in with his homework, but Katsuya wasn’t really listening.
I hope I can become a partner like that, Reigen had said. Katsuya wondered what he’d meant by that. Could he have really been saying...?
I believe in you, Reigen-san, Katsuya thought. Whatever you meant, whatever you’re aiming for, I’ll be here.