Chapter Text
“ Chip .”
“Oh so suddenly when I do well it’s because I’m ‘cheating’” Chip phrased the word with air quotes as Gloria and Gramma mad dogged him across the kitchen table.
Cricket sighed beside Chip. The family’d been on a cards kick lately and it was very clear Chip was not taking his losing streak well.
“Chip quit trying to drag this out, just admit you-”
“Admit what?” Chip snorted, cutting Gloria off. “You really think I would go as far as to learn how to card count in secret just for a silly poker game.” The following silence answered that question.
“Guys It’s not even real poker, we’ve been using candy this whole time!” Chip gestured to the pile of old Halloween candy sitting in the middle of the table they’d been using as a money substitute.
Gloria did not look convinced, narrowing her eyes in agitation. “Okay then,” Gloria snagged a random card from the deck, holding it up with its back to everyone. “What’s this card?”
“Uh,nice try, but that wouldn’t even work,” Chip snarked. “I could easily lie and say it’s the wrong card budd-” The blonde’s eyes widened.
“Aha!” Gloria yelled, throwing an accusatory hand Chip’s way.
“That doesn’t prove anything!” Chip quickly retorted, the rest of the table rolling their eyes at the oncoming excuse. “I say buddy plenty of times when I’m not lying.”
“Yeah, when you’re feeling smug because you just got away with a lie.” Gloria argued, her eyes falling flat with annoyance.
Cricket sighed, dragging the deck of cards his way out of boredom.
Chip meanwhile couldn’t look more offended, his self righteous spluttering already in gear. “I cannot believe how much y’all don’t trust me-”
“Hey Chip what’s this card?” Cricket piped up, again out of boredom.
“Queen of spades obvi-” Again Chip’s eyes widened as he realized a second too late he’d screwed up. “Oh blort.”
“You filthy cheater!” Gloria yelled again as the rest of the table erupted into mild chaos.
Seconds later after everyone- including Chip- finally calmed down both Gloria and Gramma closed their eyes both letting out a long suffering sigh.
“Okay, Chip doesn’t get to shuffle anymore.” Gloria declared, taking the deck from Cricket and handing it to Tilly since it was her turn to deal.
“Wah-for how long?!” Chip whined.
“Til you’re my age” Gramma sarcastically replied, giving Chip a no nonsense glare.
“Oh c’mon one minor breach of trust and y’all turn on me.” The blonde scoffed sitting back with his arms crossed. “Talk about fair weather family.”
“Well that’s what you get for lying Chip.” Dad finally piped up, predictably crossing his arms as Cricket could practically feel the oncoming lect-
“It’s like I always say,” Yep, there it was. “Dishonesty will get you nowhere in life.”
Chip rolled his eyes. “ Please people lie all the time Bill, like how we all keep telling Cricket he’ll have a growth spurt any day now.”
“Hey!” Cricket crossed his arms in offense.
Chip rolled his eyes with a shrug. “See?”
Bill shook his head though. “But, it’s when those lies add up that’s the problem. If you go about lying everyday it’s bound to come back to you.”
Chip rolled his eyes again as Tilly finally finished shuffled and was now dealing everyone their hand two cards at a time.
“Okay, well before all that went down I was actually getting ready to say something.” Gloria cleared her throat, anxiously tapping her fingers on the table as everyone turned to stare at her.
“I uh, I didn’t tell you guys this ,but I’ve actually been saving away a little bit of the profits from the cafe each day and.. well .” Gloria coughed, fishing out a plain envelope from her pocket. “It added up.”
“Woah.” Cricket awed as everyone else quickly turned starry eyed, staring at the wad of cash Gloria pulled out.
“Yeah and uh, you know it’s been a while since we all went out somewhere together, I figured with this money we could go to a nice restaurant tonight.”
“Aw Gloria,” Bill crooned, whilst everyone else proceeded to hoot and holler, already discussing where they were gonna go.
Well, almost everyone.
Chip didn't know why ,but he couldn’t help zeroing in on the way Bill proudly ruffled Gloria’s hair as he stood up to get a glass of water. “Between the cafe and your help marketing our booth, you’ve really helped and supported this family Gloria, thank you.”
Gloria’s eyes widened and the nervous energy surrounding her moments ago almost immediately faded as she relaxed with a beaming smile.
Chip watched a second longer, shaking his head when he heard Cricket say something about Sea Fusion. Yeah no flipping way they were going there. Chip jumped into the restaurant discussion without hesitation.
“Ah, that was good.” Chip smiled to himself as he dragged back the covers of his bed, still rubbing his stomach in delight. He probably went a little heavy on the breadsticks, but eh could’ve been worse.
They ended up going to that 360 place, for some reason though Bill insisted they go to the downtown location instead of the closer one by the movie theater, something about an incident with the velocity last time he and Cricket went, weird.
Chip sighed as he tucked himself into bed and crossed his arms beneath his head. Just outside his door he could hear Bill scrambling to get Tilly and Cricket to bed, what he got for letting them both drink soda.
Chip shifted as he stared at the ceiling, waiting for sleep to claim him.
Yeah, that was honestly, really nice of Gloria.
“..you’ve really helped and supported this family Gloria..”
Chip snorted at that. Bill wasn’t wrong, Gloria practically slaved away at the cafe with how hard she worked.
Plus she occasionally brought home a thing of half burnt muffins she couldn’t put in the display…
Chip smiled wryly at that. Yeah and good for Gloria, getting the recognition she deserved…she really did support this family.
Heck, everyone did. Bill worked day and night with his garden, he kept everyone in line when no one else could, Alice was always ready to fling her stern wisdom whenever someone needed it and Nancy and Tilly were about as emotionally intelligent as they come…even Cricket was good at biting their enemies.
Chip laughed at that last thought. “Yeah…so then….how do I support this family?” The blonde finally asked aloud, his eyes quickly widening upon the realization that….he didn’t know .
“Huh,” Chip frowned, turning to the side and staring out his bedroom window.
He stayed awake the next two hours trying to find an answer.
“Chip, can you pass the salt?” The blonde jumped, shaking himself out of his trance as he handed Tilly the salt shaker. She nodded a brief thanks before proceeding to season the mountain of scrambled eggs towering over her plate.
Chip sighed, looking back down at his own plate as he began sulkily pushing his oatmeal from side to side in his pondering. He was still asking himself the question from last night, and well, he was completely stumped.
‘Maybe because…you don’t .’
“What? No way!” Chip nearly jumped back; he was so caught off guard by that rogue thought. It took a second for him to realize he’d spoken out loud and that everyone was staring at him now.
“Alright I’ll eat the rest of the oatmeal, geez.” Bill sighed as he scraped the last of the oatmeal onto his plate, nabbing the cinnamon sugar on his way back to the table.
Chip sighed after everyone went back to scarfing down the last of their breakfast.
That just…it wasn’t true right?
…. right ?
‘I do plenty of stuff to support this family like….like farmwork!’ Chip almost stabbed himself with the thread needle again, he was so caught up in his rationalizing.
“Careful woodpecker you’re gonna stain the quilt.” Gramma warned as she sat at the other end of the couch, but Chip was hardly listening.
‘Yeah, yeah the farmwork that..I’m constantly screwing up.’ Chip sighed with a self deprecating deflate. ‘Yeah I’m just so helpful in that department.’
The former ceo shook his head as he looped more thread through the quilt patch. Bill would never say it out loud ,but, Chip knew he totally sucked at farming. What with the…constant, constant mistakes he was still prone to making.
“Chip you left the coop door open again!”
“Chip you gotta plant the seeds as least as far down as their width.”
“Chip that is not how you milk a cow!”
Chip couldn’t help ,but roll his eyes at the memory. Would’ve been nice to know that, before he got kicked in the gut by Ms. Brenda’s powerful haunches; he had to wear a brace for weeks .
Chip sighed, closing his eyes. ‘ Urgh , they literally took me in when I had nowhere else to go, and so far the only thing I’ve done to pay them back is make a complete fool of myself.’
Chip sighed again, curving his mouth into a thoughtful frown. ‘Meanwhile Gloria’s practically raking in the doe for them…c’mon there’s gotta be something I can do.’
“Cricket, did you remember to take out the trash?” Bill shouted from the kitchen.
‘If only there was a way I could do that too just, go out and earn money.’
“Not yet Dad, I gotta finish hiding the secret firework launcher I bought behind your ba-I mean cleaning my room!” Cricket called back across the house.
Chip shook his head with another sigh. ‘But how could I possibly do that?’
“Oh, well alright. Just don’t forget the trash son, remember that’s your job.”
Chip paused with a frown.
‘....job.’ The blonde’s eyes suddenly widened as a metaphorical light bulb went off above his head. ‘That’s it!’
“What’re you getting up for?” Gramma asked as Chip shot up from the couch, scrambling to his bedroom so he could get his best suit on. “Uh, I need to go for a walk, like right now.” Chip hastily explained as he came running back out, snagging his winter coat from its hook as he threw open the front door.
“Booshie-”
“Yeah, yeah be back before dinner, I will. Bye!” Whatever else Alice had to say got muffled by the front door as Chip quickly slammed it shut.
“I can’t believe I didn’t think of this before.” Chip laughed to himself as he walked down the sidewalk, straightening his tie and adjusting the sleeves of his blazer. He couldn’t wait to see everyone’s surprised happy faces when he returned home with a brand, spanking new-
“Sorry, resume?”
Literally seconds later Chip was being escorted outside.
The blonde scoffed, crossing his arms as he stared back at the building that had just rejected him. “Whatever, probably would’ve sucked working here, with your, high demands .”
He was sure he’d have great luck with the next place anyway.
“Hm? Oh yes I am the Chip Whistler who tried to run an entire family down with a chopper….so when do I star-”
They didn’t even let him finish, having security toss him out like a ragdoll through the revolving doors.
“Hey, I made up with that family so who looks like the jerk now!” Chip yelled with a huff, before smoothing his hairline back into place.
“Man.” The blonde bemoaned to himself with his hands stuffed in his pockets. Seven places and they all said no, some more harsher than others (Chip was pretty sure he had a couple pebbles lodged in his throat from all the throwing).
“Urghh, why is this so hard, I literally kept the same job for twelve years straight!”
‘Yeah, cause Dad gave it to you.’ A voice in the back of his head whispered. Chip shook his head. Whatever, eventually somebody had to say yes to him…right?
“Right.” Chip repeated out loud to assure himself. “Yeah, yeah I just gotta keep looking, my luck’ll turn up eventua-” Chip was unable to finish that affirmation as he firmly face planted into a nearby telephone pole. The blonde fell back first against the sidewalk, people walking around his sprawled out form as he moaned.
“Urghhh.” Chip clutched his aching forehead as his vision swam. As he lay there the piece of paper taped to the telephone pole came fluttering down, landing squarely on his chest.
When Chip didn’t feel like he’d passed on, he sat up, arching an intrigued brow as he lifted the paper. It was a help wanted poster.
Huh…what the heck was Beef Up?