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Today is Aether’s birthday. He loves birthdays, he and his sister used to plan their birthdays a lot. They would choose the best spot in the world they were in, and decor it with beautiful flowers and wood ornaments made by themselves. And when the day finally arrived, they would prepare delicious foods, directly from the recipes of their mother.
Surprise parties weren’t a thing for them, since they have the same birthday. That’s why he was so surprised when he entered the tea pot after a long day to find what looked like all his friends shouting surprise and coming to hug him.
The teapot was decorated in its entirety. Colorful garlands were hanging from the threes, a big table was covered with plates and food enough for everyone to get full. A confetti rain was upon him as Yoimiya had thrown some up into the sky. All of them were happy, it was truly perfect.
Except for one thing. Something was missing. Someone was missing. He had never celebrated a birthday without his sister, not a single one. He was smiling as all of his friends hugged him and wished him happy birthday, but deep inside him his heart ached for the moment his sister magically appeared and hugged him too.
Never minding that, Aether was ready to enjoy his day.
-
“So I told them if they didn’t let me play their kid would no doubt hate them for at least a month” Xinyan told the small group by the fire. Most of the people had gone home, it was really late. But Kazuha, Xinyan, Venti and Xiao didn’t seem tired.
“I have never seen her so angry” Kazuha was sitting besides her, they’ve been friends since the last time they went to the golden apple archipelago.
“I promised that kid I would play for his birthday, I couldn’t let his boring parents ruin his day” Said Xinyan “And he was the first kid who liked my music and wasn’t scared of me”
They kept talking, but Aether wasn’t that invested in the conversation, he was carving.
Wood carving came in the family. His grandfather taught his father, and his father taught both twins. Lumine wasn’t that into it, but she knew how to do it, and she was pretty good at it, it came naturally.
Almost all in the teapot was made by himself. The furniture made in teyvat was great, but he wanted it to feel like home. Not the lie him and his sister told themselves to soften the guilt, that home is wherever they were together. Home like the one they escaped from, the one they left for a promise of something better, something that never arrived.
They have no home now, no place to return to. There’s no use in keeping all this memories of a place in which he would be an outlander too. He’s an outlander everywhere.
And still, he treasures them more than anything, he carves furniture, instruments, ornaments. He cooks and eats food. All of that while hoping it would bring him back, but it never does.
He’s starting to get used to this place. It almost feels like home, and he’s scared.
Every time he gets too comfortable in a world someone gets hurt, and all because they can’t control their powers. A reminder of why they had to run away, a reminder of why they can’t have a home anymore.
-
He fell asleep while wandering in his thoughts, and the first to notice was Xiao.
“Guys” Xiao called.
They turned to see Aether leaning against a tree, with wood in one hand and some tools scattered on the floor. He must have been exhausted after such a long day, he’s always exhausted.
“Well, it is pretty late” said Xinyan “What about Kazuha and I clean this mess and you two take him to bed”
“Sound good to me” Venti said while Xiao was already taking Aether in his arms.
And so they went to Aether’s room.
-
Aether’s room was the part of the house that resembled the most his past life, he tried it to look like his room back then, with some improvements. But things where missing, like his sister‘s bed. The snow past the window. His mother’s songs penetrating the walls in the middle of the night when she couldn’t sleep, even when she tried to be as quiet as posible. They didn’t mind tho, it helped them sleep. Lots of things where missing, but still, Aether enjoyed his birthday a lot. He was really starting to feel like home in here.
Venti opened the bed and Xiao laid him. He stayed there a while. He didn’t know why, he just sat with him.
“I’ll go help the others clean” Venti said.
“Okay”
Xiao stayed a bit more. Ever since Aether arrived, Xiao has been more open. He doesn’t know why, but he feels safe around him. He would never admit it, but it shows, and a lot of people had already realized.
“Do you like someone?” Hu Tao asked him.
“I don’t have such such feelings” Xiao answered.
“What about the traveler?”
“I already said I don’t”
“I see the way you look at him” Hu Tao mocked him “You can’t stop looking at his pretty eyes”
“How is Yelan and Yanfei doing? I think they have, what, 5 months together?”
“That’s not fair”
“Then stop it”
Aether got him out of his head when he started mumbling in his sleep. It was barely audible, but Xiao could distinguish some of the words, most of them being ‘no’ or ‘why’. He wondered if he should wake him up, but before he could act, Aether woke up with a scream.
They stared at each other for some time, not a word out of neither of them, until Aether threw himself to Xiao. He was ready to push him away. He may feel safe around him, but he didn’t like physical contact, no matter who was giving it. But he stoped himself when Aether started crying.
He had never seen Aether cry before, this was something new, and it was surely making Xiao uncomfortable. He didn’t know what to do. Should he say something? Ask what happened? He just hugs him back.
“I thought I…” The words get lost between Xiao clothes “I thought it happened again”
“What happened again?” Xiao asks hesitantly, but Aether doesn’t answer, he just sobs against Xiao’s shoulder.
Xiao tries to comfort him. He puts his hands in Aether’s back and rubs it. After a while Aether calms himself enough to stop sobbing, and sits in the bed with Xiao.
They don’t talk. Xiao isn’t sure if his presence is needed, or if Aether is uncomfortable with him here.
“I’m sorry” Aether says.
“You don’t need to apologize” Xiao assures him “Nightmares happen”
“It’s not about that”
“Then what is it?”
Aether wasn’t sure
“I just needed to say it”
”Ok”
Xiao wasn’t sure what to do. He doesn’t sleep, so he can’t have nightmares, and he had never encounter someone with that problem. He heard Paimon talk about it some time ago, how Aether couldn’t sleep well and had constant nightmares, but he had never seen him like that. He always looked so happy, so brave, like nothing could bring him down. But now, he didn’t seem like the Aether he knew.
He doesn’t know how to handle this.
“I’ll go help with the cleaning” Xiao said while getting up.
“You don’t need to” Aether said “I can do it tomorrow”
“It was our idea” Xiao insist “We can do it”
“But…”
“Sleep”
“Ok” Aether laughs.
-
He tries, he really does, but it’s hard sometimes. And he really thought it happened again, he ruined it all again.
It burned, exactly like it burned all the other times. He tried to keep it in, exactly like he tried all the other times. And he failed, exactly like he failed all the other times.
All of his friends burned to ashes in just seconds, exactly like his parents ended up. All of it just after what they did for him for his birthday. All of it because his incompetence. And he would’ve run away again, like he always does, because he’s no traveler, he’s a coward.
Maybe this was what he was destined for, after all, stars are meant to burn.