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It was a routine he was use to doing. Steeljaw had slipped from his quarters in the earliest hours before daylight, pausing only when he hears his teammates jolt or mumble in their deep recharge. Being the opposite to his rather exhausted packmates, the Wolfcon had felt energized this particular morning, so much so that he hadn't been able to bear staying indoors.
So now here he was, trekking through the forest in the dim gray light of the early morning, going nowhere in particular, just content to be up and moving. Not paying mind to the cold dew beneath his peds, he dropped to all fours and loped through forest.
He inhaled the lightly fogged air, scenting out the countless aromas that were mixed in; pine wood, cut grass, pollen... thick like a broth. Primus, he forgot how good it felt to be at his peak again. These past few weeks were so stressful, and taking that long nap did wonders. He could really feel, breath and think clearly.
Speaking of that, what plans did he have for the future? Meetings would definitely need to be held, not sure what assignments need to be given... actually, thinking about it now, he had plenty of time. He had done enough planning and thinking for weeks. He needed some enjoyment.
A bit of exercise to get the Energon pumping was always a fantastic start.
He grinned as he eyed a steep and bare rocky slope. Perfect. He gave a big leap and landed on the rough surface, securing himself by digging his claws in deep to remain fixed in position. He looked up and began searching for footholds he could grab onto. Being the same as the canines here on Earth, his keen eyes made quick work of the task.
He didn't have a specific goal in mind until he saw a rocky outcrop above, and he was going to claim it. He pushed himself upward, defying gravity and showering the forest below with tiny pebbles until he swung onto the platform. Heavy ventilations drawled from the satisfied exertion when he sat down to rest.
He managed to find a good view to see the rising sun, those first beams of sunlight painting the sky vibrant orange. He felt himself relax as he took in the view over the treetops. He really loved this planet, it had some amazing picturesque views. It was probably even more amazing than Cybertron's sunrises.
He sighed. The Autobots can have Cybertron, it wasn't a safe haven anymore. Earth belonged to the humans, but the Cons needed a new home, a refuge to stay at. The Decepticons can act as the humans' protectors. And they can easily steer clear of humans, they can make it all work. Bumblebee and his team are the only problem that he and his team have to deal with.
Truth be told though, he didn't want to fight them, or kill them, rather have them in stasis if any. It has become even harder when the team gained a human femme named Charlie Watson, Bumblebee's supposed muse. He did love the idea of a human female loving a bulky mech like Bee, he finds it adorable in a weird way.
And then his thought process was interrupted when he heard a faint snap behind him, looking to see a very beautiful snow white fox staring at him with curiosity. What strikes interesting about the fox to Steeljaw was its vibrant pink eyes and nose.
"Oh. Hello there." He spoke softly. He didn't want to scare it, knowing that while they shared few traits, he was still very different from them. "What are you doing roaming about?"
The fox tilted its head before taking off, leaving the Wolfcon mesmerized. But, something in the back of Steeljaw's processor told him to follow the little white puffball.
I'm sure a little detour wouldn't hurt. He knew the forest better than any Con out there, so getting back to the base wouldn't be that hard for him if he got lost. After all, he was feeling great since he got up. Might as well have a bit of fun exploring and learning more on what Earth still has to offer.
With that, Steeljaw followed.
~*~
Nervousness was the only word in the English language that Steeljaw felt could begin to do justice to his current state. It was hardly close, as nervousness was not the word that came to mind when one was so curious that it was a bit overwhelming, but he really couldn't describe what he was feeling, if there was a correct term for it.
He'd been following this white fox for a while, and it was going down a path he was a bit unfamiliar with. He only stayed close to his territory, fearing that if he strayed further away, he end up in Autobot territory.
The fox then stopped and poked its head through the thick bush in front of it. Steeljaw tilted his head curiously and, carefully and quietly, he parted the bush a bit. His eyes widen as he stared at the familiar turquoise Autobot with shock. “Sideswipe!?”
Said Bot was lounging against a rock, optics closed and looking peaceful, almost like he was in his own tranquil world like Steeljaw has once drowned in.
The white fox lets out quick whines of happiness and rushed forward from the thick shrubbery to lay by Sideswipe’s feet. The Autobot opened one optic and stared at the fox wagging its tail happily without a care in the world.
“Was wondering where you been, Ghost,” he chuckled at the fox's yip in reply. “What took you so long? I assume you were doing your usual morning observations?”
The white fox-Ghost-made more happy noises, wiggling on his back in front of Sideswipe’s foot. He raised a ridge and leans his hand towards the creature. Steeljaw thought for a second the Autobot was gonna crush the poor creature, but what he saw surprised him greatly.
Sideswipe stretch out his index digit and pokes the fox's noise gently. The fox made an offensive noise, mouth agape at the finger that dared touch his nose. It got a small chuckle out of the Autobot. While Sideswipe knew he didn't speak any animal language whatsoever, seeing Ghost act like some kit was honestly cute to him.
“Sideswipe...made an organic friend?” Steeljaw asked himself quietly as he carefully watched the interaction in front of him. “Last I saw him was yesterday. Did something happened at the scrapyard with Bumblebee?" He knows full well what the Autobot leader does to his teammates for any failures that occur. "I can’t believe he made a friend with a living creature. I remember him saying he wasn't going to interact with organics, but nothing about an animal.”
But why isn't Strongarm with him? The thought when through his mind and it almost made his spark turn to ice.
Steeljaw knew the pair very well. Sideswipe wouldn't go anywhere without the Autobot cadet, his paired partner. He thought for a moment that maybe she was patrolling around nearby while her partner relaxed a bit. The idea that Strongarm was nowhere in sight left a very bad taste in Steeljaw's mouth. Did something happen to where Bumblebee punished her severely?
No.
If that was the case, knowing Sideswipe, half of the forest would be covered in broken bark and slashed trees.
And just as he was about to back away.....
"You know you can come out, Jaws."
He froze.
That nickname. Only one bot calls him that, and it was the one that was playing with the white fox right this moment. Everyone else just calls him by full designation or 'Steele.'
He consciously steps out of the foliage, where Sideswipe stare at him with his red eyes, but they shown no hostility, more amused than any.
Sideswipe chuckled. "Didn't take you for a peeping tom, but it's a first for everything, right?" He grinned, with Ghost rubbing his head against the open palm of his hand.
That got the Wolfcon to blush in embarrassment. "No," he quickly defended himself, looking away a bit. "I was following the fox to see where it was heading to." He looked back at the Bot. "I didn't expect you to be out here by yourself though. With an animal companion."
Sideswipe remained silent, mindlessly stroking the fox as it laid next to his side. "I came out here....to think."
"Think?"
"Yeah," the Autobot looked to the side. "Some things flooded my mind and I needed the fresh air."
"You want to talk about it?"
Sideswipe looked over. Steeljaw was no idiot. He was clever in his own way and he could tell something was eating at the Autobot, especially if he closed off his EM field. There were still faint sparks of anxiety and worry in the air, and it all pointed at the blue Bot before him.
Sideswipe sighed. “Get comfy and I'll explain. But if you laugh, I'm cutting your ears off,” he told the Wolfcon. Steeljaw smiled as his tail wagged. He will sit with the Bot and he will stay there until the Bot left feeling much better.
~*~
Sideswipe wasn't sure if he liked the warmth against his back, but Steeljaw was adamant to sit behind him. Guess he wanted an excuse to curl himself around him, even if he complained about it.
The Wolfcon watches as Ghost zoomed across the from them before running around them and doing it over again. The Autobot leaned closer to the chest behind him, watching his fluffy companion.
"So...you gonna explain the story of this little guy?"
Sideswipe knew that was gonna come up first with an eye roll. Steeljaw was just like any canine, so curious and full of wonder.
"On patrol. Bumblebee and his organic lover had a fight and all of us knew where it was gonna lead to, so we scrammed." His optics darted with Ghost's quick movements. "I went to my usual spot and found him taking a drink by the river. I didn't do anything, he came up to me. He let me touch him, pet him; my guess is that he probably could sense that I was a loner in a pack."
Steeljaw frowned. He wasn't exactly wrong, but it wasn't fully true. It was actually the other way around. After all, Sideswipe was still technically a rogue Autobot; the Bee Team was not his own until he accepted them as such, and the only one he accepted so far was Strongarm.
While the Autobot watched the white fox, he thought. He thought of everything had happened on his time of Earth, and more importantly, how he felt about all of it.
The first time he met Steeljaw, him becoming involved in a relationship. Or rather Steeljaw falling into a relationship with him and Strongarm. He is a strange Con. He's always so hopeful for a future that seems bleak, and yet....I find it intriguing. His feelings for Steeljaw started to become more...serious. It was a feeling that rattled him to his core and yet, he loved it. He was much better company, more than his team and even reminded him of his twin in a twisted way.
"So, you decided to play a pacifist tree and let the little guy come to you?" Steeljaw tease with a snicker. Sideswipe rolled his eyes, of course there was also his jokes.
"Very funny. I'm rolling on my sides dying."
Steeljaw places a claw under his chin. "Well, I did sideswiped your spark~."
The Wolfcon cackled loudly in laughter at the serious deadpanned look he got in reply. The loud noise made Ghost make yipping noises that sounded almost close to Steeljaw's.
Sideswipe groaned. "I'm surrounded by fragging hyenas!"
Steeljaw was struggling. "I-I'm-I'm so-" he tried breathing out. "I'm sorry!" He said through his laughing breaths.
The Autobot sighs lightly, but his spark felt content. He was genuinely glad he could make the Con laugh like that, Strongarm will be pissed that he got to hear it first and she didn't. Well, he did offer her to come with him and she refused. Her (temporary) lost, his gain.
He waited until Steeljaw's laughter died down until he was panting. Sideswipe could even hear the rapid pulses of his spark inside his chamber.
"Had a blast?"
"Hehe, sorry," the Wolfcon wagged his tail. "I couldn't help it. I had that joke in the back of my processor for a while."
Sideswipe vented quietly and looked at one of Steeljaw's servos. It was bigger than his, the claws look intimidating up close.
"How do you do it, Jaws? Managing to lead a team of wild Cons by yourself?"
The question took Steeljaw aback. He didn't expect the young Bot to ask such a question from him, but it gave Steeljaw an opportunity to give the Autobot insight on the Decepticons' side of things, their perspective.
"Well, that's the problem: it's not about me leading, it's about me being lead."
That got a raise brow from Sideswipe: "I don't follow."
"That's the idea," Steeljaw raised a finger. "Many leaders don't understand leading is something that is done to you, not something you do to others."
When the Autobot stayed silent, Steeljaw continued: "Think of it as that game humans like to play. Leapfrog. Everyone is taking turns at the front, building the next platform that the team uses to take the next leap. Leaders are only leaders when people choose to let someone lead them. That's why Megatron lead only those that choose to follow. Just like I do with my team. I became a leader because they choose me to follow them. That's the most important building block of a team."
A team…Right... The idea left a bittersweet taste in Sideswipe's mouth. His team isn't exactly the best in the world, far from it. But…it made Sideswipe rethink a lot of things. He pictured himself as a true loner, a warrior with a true goal for his future. It didn’t bring out any of the killer impulses he used to have. That desire…almost wilted. Becoming a soloist sounded so-
Boring.
"I see." Sideswipe said after a long pause to his thoughts. He placed his hand in one of Steeljaw's, making the Wolfcon's ears perk in surprise by the contact. "Learned from experience, huh?"
"More like learned from a great poet who just wanted to stop a war from going too far."
"Hmm..."
"Can I ask you something?"
"Guess so..."
"Why did you become an Autobot?"
What about being an Autobot? He joined because it was what he wanted, wasn't it? He looked at the insignia on his chest, right below the kanji. He imagined all the deeds he had done, the lives he took, the bodies he buried. Before, he enjoyed seeing his enemies at his feet, pleading, begging....but did he really needed to be an Autobot to do all of that before? It was just a role, a symbol that he wears, it didn't changed who he was as a being. It's just a stupid badge everyone wears...
He and his twin were given the badge by Prime himself at a much younger age. He can still feel the faint traces of Prime's fingers under his chin as he was examined by the tyrannical Autobot leader.
He didn’t flinch once.
Split Sparks.... The Prime's voice echoed in his mind. He remembered that Sunstreaker had a murderous glint in his optics that day, but otherwise said nothing. Words were never his strong suit.
They didn't want to ruin the chance they were given.
They had nothing else left to bet on.
Then he met Steeljaw. He gave him a reason to bet on, a reason to fight for something for the first time in his life. It was something he had never expected in his life, if his brother found out, would he be proud or furious? He wasn't too sure.
His mind went to that moment when Minitron controlled Grimlock to rescue other Cons, where the two of them fought as Minitron distracted Bee and Strong. He had looked at him pleadingly, holding both his blades in his hands. It was a look that asked him to change his mind.
But that time, there were sides, and Sideswipe chose his alliance. He couldn’t just joined the Cons and start fighting Autobots he fought alongside with or to protect life that was more valuable than his own race. And he knew Steeljaw wouldn't join the Autobots willingly, not thrilled with the idea of taking orders from the tyrannical Bumblebee.
There was no middle ground.
Ghost's shrill yip caught the Autobot’s attention. The fox was sitting between his feet, his tail thrashing about. He smiled at the fox, making a small click sound to assure the fluffy creature that he heard his plea.
Ghost made a happy noise as it curled up and laid between his feet. It was then Sideswipe noticed Steeljaw playing with his held hand for the first time. He acknowledged each movement of a clawed digit brushing against his own, knowing that they were dangerous. Steeljaw is dangerous, but Sideswipe wasn't afraid. He knew the Wolfcon would never hurt him.
A thought slowly started to unwind in his head. He realized that being this close to Steeljaw, his spark was opening up more and more, getting very intense that almost suffocates the Bot.
This is crazy...I thought maybe I could...Steeljaw is just some random Con...I shouldn't even be...
He didn’t want to think of any thoughts. His processor felt too fragile, like it would shatter and he would go crazy just like his twin had.
For the first time in his life, a terrified part of him was reconsidering the thought with multiple different scenarios, so many that could possibly shut down his processor.
I told myself I would never admit my feelings to anyone. Guess that was false hope, Sideswipe.
As for the Wolfcon, he tried not to fidget as Sideswipe remained silent.
After asking that specific question, his mind kept bouncing from worry about what the Autobot was thinking, to memorizing this serene moment with him right now. Should he have asked that? Maybe he should have asked him to join him like always. But that would be fruitless. The speedster wouldn't abandoned the Autobots for him. Neither would Strongarm. Both of them made it perfectly clear that they would never join. But he always did noticed how unsure they were every time he asked.
He shouldn't even be asking out of the blue like that to them. It was their choice, as he even explained to Sideswipe before, a leader leads when people chooses them to.
Suddenly the Autobot pulled himself away from the Wolfcon a little. Steeljaw almost felt his ears go flat. Was he upset?
He knew not to push boundaries, but he couldn’t stop himself: “Sideswipe?”
“Steeljaw,” he breathes out. "I'm scared."
That came out of nowhere. The Wolfcon's optics were the size of saucers. Sideswipe never addresses him by full designation like that, Jaws was the only word that escaped his mouth most of the time.
"No, scared is too small to describe it..." he paused. "I'm terrified."
"T-Terrified? I don't-"
"Not just me. Strongarm too."
Steeljaw swallowed a lump that somehow formed when he was listening.
Sideswipe stared at their joined hands, his red optics aglow with conflict and uncertainty. “I'm terrified about me.”
“About...you?"
Sideswipe tried not to flinch at his tone. “There was always a reason why Strongarm and I push you away, why we never accept your offer.”
The Wolfcon furrowed his brows. He didn't like where this was going. “What are you talking about?”
Chase him away, Sideswipe! The Autobot's thoughts were going in a frenzy. This is wrong! He's bad for you! For Strongarm! Nothing good will come out of this! Just scare him away and be done with it!
Bro, if anything happens to me, do whatever makes you happy. Struggle for it, fight for it...kill for it. Cause at the end of it all, people are gonna judge anyways. Live for the moment!
Sideswipe's face morphed in determination, if he was gonna confess he'll go down fighting. “I'm terrified of myself cause if anything were to happen to you, I might lose the last bit of sanity I have left.”
Steeljaw was seriously taken aback, his voice failing him, “Sideswipe...”
The Autobot continued: “I risk my spark coming to see you, knowing that any moment, Bee would snuff it out without a second thought...But I do it anyway cause you are worth it." He takes a moment to breath. "I had a fear, a fear that if someday, one day, you end up critically injured or worse, that all the positive emotions that I gained will wilt away and be replaced by the twisted insanity that my own half has suffered through.”
Before the Wolfcon could react, he pressed on: “I'm only gonna say this once....I....I really love you, Jaws. More than I should with a Con, to a point where I would kill for you. The only one I have ever done it for was Strongarm, and she feels the same. We both talked about it, a lot....This is the first for us, being happy with another. We want it to last for a lifetime. Which is why I'm confessing," he sighs lightly. "I know Strong already confessed to you, and now I did. So...now you know.”
Those words were repeated in his head over and over again, and it didn't stop him from wagging his tail so quickly.
He said he loves me…he really cares.
“Really?” It was almost hard to get the word out.
Sideswipe wasn't surprised. “Oh frag, I have to explain it instead of Strongarm doing it, huh? Okay. Well, you're intelligent, kind, your sass is commendable-when you want to be.” He had to force himself not to facepalm at this embarrassment. “And being next to you makes me-and Strongarm-happy. And if I'm gonna be honest now, I like being happy. There was only one time I was happy and it was taken away from me long ago.”
He waited. There was no reply from the Con behind him. And that irked him a bit. He was imagining the Con curling his lips up in a vain attempt to not laugh.
“I swear, Jaws, if you fragging laugh now, I will rip your teeth out,” he growled out, turning to look him in the optics, only to be met with a pair of desperate lips on his own.
It took Sideswipe aback a bit, he wasn't expecting Steeljaw to smash his mouth against his own. But he didn't reject it, even when he felt his mouth being forced open.
He felt the Wolf's glossa licked against his, feeling all his raw passion and love pooling out into the kiss, letting it all go. And, frag, did it feel good getting kissed deeply and feeling wanted, willingly wanted.
Without breaking the kiss, Steeljaw grabbed his waist and lifted him slightly, twisting his frame around to make the speedster sit on his lap. He pulled his mouth away from his, Sideswipe staring down at him.
He waited for the Autobot to growl at him, to tell him to frag off. But he only stared at him, his expression unreadable and red eyes dull. And then, “Strongarm was right. You use way too much glossa.”
Steeljaw blinked, the Bot adding: "She also mentioned that you slobbered too."
"I did no such thing!"
"Heh, shut up." Steeljaw didn't get to protest more as Sideswipe leaned down so their faces were a fraction apart. “Let me show you how it's done.” He then pressed his lips against his, his glossa slowly slipping into his mouth. He doesn't just shove and explore, like the Wolfcon had done-he tilts his head, melding his lips with his own.
Sideswipe took it slow. He licked the inside of his mouth, his own glossa, savoring the taste and feeling the Wolf's sharp dermas. He pulled the Wolfcon a bit closer, making their chests press together. Metal scraped louder than either of them liked, but they didn't really care. They were busy enjoying the sensation of their kiss.
Steeljaw lets himself get caught up in it, pressing back into the warmth of Sideswipe's eager mouth, tangling his glossa.
The speedster pulls away slowly, slim bridges of oral fluids keeping their lips connected, before gaining weight and vanishing in a light blue glow. "Now that was a kiss," he says, optics dark, lazily pleased with himself.
Steeljaw was glad he was sitting down, if he were standing now, he might have fallen over with how intense of emotions he was feeling. Still, one thing bugged him. "Sideswipe, about Strongarm...is she-"
The answer was obvious, but he said it aloud all the same, rubbing his chin of the oral fluids: “Relax, Jaws. She's fine. She just took one of her usual routes to escape that junkyard.”
Steeljaw lets out a sigh of relief. He was hoping to see the cadet again. He wondered what Strongarm was up to right at this moment, but he could definitely picture her being extremely pissed that they were having some fun without her.
On that day he was alone with her, she was more taunting, rude and snarky. But one thing happened and it exploded, causing the Wolfcon and her to press their bodies together as they shared their own passionate kiss. The taste of her was intoxicating, the speedster's kiss was addictive. He should watch her and the speedster next time they share a kiss, give him a little show for that small dark part of his processor.
A noise made his ears go up and Steeljaw looked to see Ghost staring at him, nose twitching. A sudden wave of protection feel upon the Wolfcon as he stared at the fox, finding the little action adorable and it warmed his spark.
"Where did you come up with the name for him?" He asked the Autobot.
"From some dumb human movie," Sideswipe answered gruffly. "I just chose the name cause of the concept: 'an invisible presence to translucent or barely visible wispy shapes, to realistic, lifelike forms.' Felt fitting for the creature, since he can sneak very well and is pretty damn clever."
Ghost seemed to look pleased at the praise, almost puffing out its chest. Steeljaw then notices that Ghost suddenly rolled on his back, exposing his stomach. He knew what this action meant and it warmed his spark even more as he reached down and-being careful with the claws-petting the creature's underside.
"Looks like Ghost took a liking to you," he could hear the small smile in Sideswipe's voice. "One less thing I have to worry about."
"Did Strongarm meet him already?" The image of seeing the cadet holding the fluff ball in her hands made Steeljaw's tail wag in joy.
"She did. Ghost kept her company while I had to take care of a random Con. Found them sleeping together, Ghost was on her chest." Oh, that image became ten times cuter to the Wolfcon.
Ghost kept to Steeljaw's side, licking his fingers and nuzzling against his servo. He couldn’t hold back the increased swell of his spark and the smile spreading across his face as he stared at the gorgeous white canine.
But Steeljaw felt Sideswipe get off of him, standing to his full height, “What's wrong?” he asked with faint worry.
Even though he just stood up, Sideswipe couldn’t help but let out a loud, almost mocking, laugh. “Oh my god, all I did was stand up!” He chuckled. "I have to get back. No doubt that the others are starting to head back as well."
"Are Bumblebee and the human Charlie that bad when it comes to the end?"
"Oh, no. They frag." Steeljaw choked on a cough, not really expect the answer to be so blunt. "Oh...right. I didn't specify on what happens after they fight. My bad."
Oh, Steeljaw definitely heard the mockery at the end, frowning playfully. Ghost lets out a huff and Sideswipe looked at him.
"Oh hush. You're no better, you little thief." He almost spat it out, his old habits coming back. “But enough of this,” he spat the phrase out harshly. Spoke too soon. “You're actually really lucky Ghost likes you. He would be using your head as a chew toy if he” He looked down at the fox. "Come."
He watched in awe as the fox went to Sideswipe, leaping onto his servo and running up the arm. The fox curled around his neck, fitting into the grove of his collar. It was like he was wearing a very elegant scarf.
It was ironic; despite being so close to this Autobot, an enemy that can literally kill him easily, the Bot felt relaxed around him, maybe more relaxed now than he was in the beginning.
"Listen," the Wolfcon's ear twitched in his direction, revealing he was listening. "Things might get worse as days go by. It's not gonna be easy, but with you Cons, it never was. Watch your back and keep whatever allies you have." He turns around, but he doesn't leave just yet. "See you around, Steeljaw."
With that, Sideswipe walked into the think mist that rolled up around the woods, making the morning eerie than lovely. The Autobot didn't risk transformation due to the idea that the fox might get caught in a transformation seam and get crushed, the bot doesn't want blood deep in the grooves of his protoform.
And just like anything that goes in the mist, he was gone.
Steeljaw does take his words to spark, just like Sides took his. And he knows that things don't get easy over time, but it does make you more prepared for whatever disasters awaits.
Steeljaw hoped that like Megatron and others after him, he can make a difference - for both sides.