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One peaceful day in JoJo Land, Dio was squatting in a bush for no reason other than to spy on that twerp Jonathan and his buddy, Robber. (Dio's pet name for Speedwagon because dio has a fetish for stealing and wants to fight the jojo's for kinkshaming him.)
Anyways. He Was Watching them, and decided now would be the best time for him to Exact his revenge. The plan was this: say that death was his kink and try to get Johnathan Tests My Patience to apologive for kinkshaming him over his fetish for stealing when his fetish didn't hurt anyone!
Dio got ready, but then his stand appeared. shit fuck it didn't help that Johnny Boy noticed.
"HELLO DIO !!!!!!!!!!!! :)" jonathan said happily.
"Jonathan, could we talk?" Dio said. "Yes." Dio said.
"Well i have to talk with Jonathan about some very serious buisness can this wait dio this is important." Speed said.
Dio gritted his teeth. Whatever Robber wanted, it could wait because he had to get back at that damned joestar for kinkshaming him because, to dio, kinkshaming was Serious buisness. Like. It was more important to him than all of Italy. (He didn't have a Kink for Italy; he just really fucking liked Italy. Hypothetically speaking he would move to italy if he could.)
"Listen Robber than wont happen beCAUSE JOHNNY WILL BE DEAD XDDDD" then dio pounded Jonathan to the ground, and was determinded to murder him over kinkshaming. "i HAVE A FETISH FOR DEATH NOW APOLoGIZE FOR KINKSHAMING ME OR YOU'LL DIE TEH GOREIST DEATH EVARRRR :3" Dio yelled. "N-NO!!!! Dio please dont i just dont understand how-""THAT ISNT AN APOLOGY!!!"
Speedwagon was shocked! He didn't know what to do. He knew Joestar would win though. But... How? he had to do something. Think speed think! Dio had his stand out so-
This was craziest plan ever and he didnt know if it'd work but this the only option.
"JOESTAR SUMMON YOUR STAND IT HAS A VORE FETISH."
joestar Awoken his stand. Dio was all like !!! and his grip loosened, seeing Johnny's stand. then his stand vored dio's and dio died. Joestar sighed in relief. "Thanks speedwagon. I dont know what i would've done without you. by the way what did you need me for?"
"Well I was going to test you but you proved yourself against Dio so I have no need to test you so here."
Speedwagon pull a massive key out of his pocket or his ass idk which but either way, he gave it to Jonathan. "This here is the key to the city. Normally, this wouldn't be a big deal but this last key that weed need in our quest to free the gays in Usa of North America!" Speed said.
"HOLY FUCK! Can we go free the gays right now speedwagon? To celebrate that Dio is dead?"
"Yes"
and they freed the gays.