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The door creaks open, and there stood a drenched Rinne. It was raining hard that dark night. The young man spent the entire night gambling, as always. He was addicted to the highs of winning a game at the casino. That dopamine rush that tells his brain to keep going was what distracted him from this sense of dread and emptiness he felt when he went about his life.
Normally, when Rinne touched this very doorknob, a sense of euphoria would overcome him. There, he would be greeted with the nostalgic smell of food being prepared. Whether it be omurice or pizza, Rinne would always devour the food that his beloved Niki had prepared him.
He used to always be excited to see his lover cooking in the kitchen. Once he came home from a long day outside, the first thing he'd do is rush to Niki's behind and hug him. The mere sight of Niki preparing food gave the young man a rush of dopamine; one that he couldn't get from gambling or drinking.
Afterwards, the two would usually settle down to eat, sometimes bickering and flirting with each other. It would go about as usual: Rinne would talk about his day (which usually consisted of gambling and drinking, but he tries his best to put variation in his stories) and Niki would always interrupt, scolding him for wasting away his life.
No matter how harsh Niki's words were, or how reckless Rinne was, the two loved each other deeply.
Ah, that's right... love.
When was the last time Rinne felt that sensation when he glanced at his beloved?
The more he tried to continue on with this relationship... the less enthusiastic he felt opening this very door.
The door that he once called "home".
It used to be this place where he can find a way to unwind and relax. A place where he felt calm and could truly act as himself.
What happened to it?
Now, every time he has to go back to this "home", he feels nothing but dread, as if coming home was a responsibility he desperately wants to avoid.
Every step felt exhausting, but it's not like he could just stand outside the door and wait there until he got the energy to walk. Eventually, he reached the living room. He took off his jacket and threw it near the laundry basket, missing in the process.
Surprisingly, Niki wasn't in the kitchen at all. He was in the living room, doing nothing but staring into the blank TV screen. Normally, he'd be cooking in the kitchen all day. He stayed there so often that it could be considered his natural habitat.
It seemed that he wasn't aware that Rinne had returned home, which led to the latter knocking on the wall to snap him back to reality. This worked, and Niki glanced at Rinne and immediately knew what to do.
Niki stood up and opened the fridge, intending to reheat some food he prepared earlier in the day. The two never exchanged words throughout the entire ordeal; making the atmosphere suffocating. If it weren't for the sound of the microwave and the pattering of the rain, the two might've gone insane from the silence.
Fortunately, before things could get any more awkward, the microwave makes a sound; indicating that the food is done reheating. Niki takes out the bowl and puts it on the dinner table, with the rice already spooned onto the plates.
Rinne slowly walks over to the table and sits down; not bothering to take a bath or even change his damp clothes. Niki also sat a bit later than him, and glanced at the curry right before him.
The two ate in suffocating silence; something that they rarely did during the early stages of this relationship.
The more Niki ate, the less his stomach wanted to accept the food. Dinnertime was supposed to be a nice and comforting moment for any kind of relationship. In fact, eating in general should be an activity that was filled with joy.
Niki believed that the best way to enjoy a meal was in the atmosphere, and the current mood wasn't exactly the greatest one.
Eventually, he could no longer take any of it, and slammed his chopsticks onto the table.
"You can't even bother changing your clothes before eating?" He yelled out loud; his voice cutting the tension. His eyebrows furrowed as he looked at Rinne who barely had any reaction.
"So what? The food will only get cold if I waste my damn time changing 'em. Ya can just clean up afterwards, can ya?" Rinne chewed on the rice, disregarding Niki's words again.
Usually, Niki wouldn't really care about Rinne's nonchalant response, but it seems that he too has lost the patience to deal with his attitude.
"Aren't you ashamed of always bossing me around like I'm some kind of servant?! All you do is gamble and gamble every single day, wasting my own money and time. Don't you get tired of it?! Now you can't even do something as simple as keeping my goddamn house clean!" Niki voice got louder and echoed in the entire room. The sudden shift in tone halted Rinne's actions.
'My house.'
It wasn't "their home" but "his house". It was as if he too no longer considered this place as a place of comfort, but a responsibility he had to take care of to continue this damned relationship.
Niki realized how loud his voice was getting and took a deep breath, "Sorry, I'm going to ruin the mood. Let's deal with this later; the food won't taste good if this continues."
Once again, they ate in an uncomfortable silence. Those words didn't at all help Niki's appetite, in fact, it made it worse. He was dreading the moment he finishes his meal and had to explain to Rinne what he truly felt about their current relationship.
"...You're tired of it too, aren't ya." Rinne broke the silence, his face fixed into a frown.
"I told you we'll continue this lat-"
"Tired of scoldin' me. Tired of tryna take care of my stupid ass. Tired of tryna set me to the right path, only for me to go left and involve myself in another fucked up situation. You're sick of it, aren't ya?" He disregarded Niki's warning.
"That-"
Rinne looked at Niki with an empty face. His words were like needles, yet his expression was devoid of anything. He wasn't mad, confused, desperate nor sad; he was simply tired and wanted a confirmation.
"All ya want to do is live a life of peace, but 'cause of me, ya have to suffer."
"That's not-"
"Ya always complain about havin' picked me up that very day. It's a burden, isn't it? Tryna take care of someone like me-"
"Yes I am fucking tired of it all!" Niki slams his hand onto the table, getting irritated of Rinne's inability to let him speak.
"This is why I'm sick and tired of your bullshit! You never, EVER listen to me! Just like now! All you do is listen to what YOU want to hear and go on and on about what YOU care about! You never let me fucking speak at all! If only you listened to what I had to say, maybe I wouldn't be this tired of you."
"It's so nice, isn't it?! You're so fucking lucky to have me as a slave, always having to follow your orders. I have to clean up the mess YOU caused. It's exhausting! I hate it! The moment I picked you up from that fucking alleyway, I should've known my life was going to get ruined."
All of Niki's feelings fell like a waterfall. His pent up anger, his complaints, everything came crashing down in an instant. He wanted to stop, but he couldn't. His words were like bullets that were fired countless times into Rinne's heart.
"I wish I never picked you up back then." Niki exhaled, his eyes wanting to let out tears yet nothing was falling out.
The tension was thicker than ever, and silence filled the room.
Rinne could do nothing but laugh; bitterly laugh at this revelation he just heard.
The red-head was used to his boyfriend's complaints and regrets, but this very moment weighed on his shoulders like a boulder. Niki's tone carried a sense of genuine anger, something that was never present when he said those very words in the past.
"...Is that so? Good for you. I'm also fucking tired of all this." Rinne stood up with a defeated grin on his face, pushing away the table in frustration.
"You act like a fucking mom to me, always scoldin' me whenever I do literally everything. You're actin' as if I don't work hard at all."
"Work hard?! Don't make me laugh. What kind of work do you fucking do?! You're a stupid fucking drunkard who does nothing but waste my damned money!"
"You're actin' as if I wasn't the one who entered you in those cooking competitions. Where's your gratitude? I'm hurt; all you think about is food and only food."
"Gratitude?!" Niki stood up as well and slammed his hands onto the table; the impact causing the plates and other cutlery to shake, "You're the ungrateful bastard here! Just how thick is your fucking skull?!"
Rinne fell silent for a while, and so did Niki who was waiting for his response.
The two often bickered, but rarely did they have full-blown arguments. The rain got worse and thunder eventually struck.
"...So what if I am a bastard, what can ya change about that?" Rinne finally spoke, "You should've known better. You knew what you were getting into when you confessed to me that day, so why are you throwin' a hissy fit right now?"
Niki found it hard to swallow the lump in his throat.
"You're the stupid one here. You basically agreed to tolerate my bullshit, and I simply did my thing."
Rinne looked up in hopelessness to the tensed up Niki who was close to breaking down, yet didn't at all stop to ask if the latter wanted to cool off, "You really are so naïve, aren't you. Thinking that I'd change when we got together-"
Before he could finish his sentence, a bracelet was thrown to his face with full force as it eventually crashed into the ground. The black beads broke from the impact. Rinne stared at the bracelet as his heart dropped. He looked at Niki, who has had enough of his self-loathing attitude. His face was filled with pain and anger as he glared at Rinne with burning blue eyes.
"You did change." Niki's voice broke and his shoulders tensed up.
"You changed for the worst, Rinne."
"If you're so self-aware then leave my house. It's my property and you don't live here anymore. I'm sick of this. I'm sick of hearing your obnoxious pleads for food and shelter." He pointed to the door.
'I'm sick of seeing you try to desperately salvage this relationship that's causing us nothing but pain.'
Rinne felt his heart go heavy, and his knees go weak. His mouth trembled as he struggled with trying to say anything. Normally in this situation, Niki would immediately apologize and ask to cool off.
This time, he didn't say anything, and only waited until Rinne took a step and left.
Rinne did nothing but laugh with despair as he looked at Niki with a hurt face, "You really are actin' like a parent now, huh? Disownin' me and all."
Rinne grabbed his jacket and put on the same shoes he had wore when he came home a few minutes ago. He wanted to say something. He wanted Niki to say something before it was too late.
But nothing came out. No one said anything.
"..."
Rinne gritted his teeth and opened the door. He stepped out and slammed it shut before disappearing into the darkness.
It was silent again, with Niki all alone in the dinner table.
It ended just like that. There was no proper farewell, no peaceful separation, nothing.
It was a messy and abrupt end for this chapter of their lives, as if someone ripped their story into shreds.
The worst part?
As soon as they were alone, they felt nothing.
There were no tears, no relief, no anger.
Just a heavy heart, and a void of nothingness.
Their relationship, that they had thought to be eternal, broke with just one argument. It ended so easily that it was almost laughable.
Niki glanced at the broken bracelet he threw out of spite. The pieces scattered on the ground, just like their relationship.
Those bracelets were a promise that Rinne made; a promise that they would get married as soon as they got to travel to a place where they could legally get married.
That promise was now broken.
Niki felt his knees go weak and sat down. He glanced at the unfinished meal that Rinne had left, and was reminded of everything they've done together.
The matching bracelets. The photographs on the wall. The bright red ink that circled their birthdays and anniversary on the calendar stuck to the fridge.
The memories of two people who once swore to love each other even when they were at the depths of hell itself.
All of it was simply thrown aside as if it no longer meant anything.
Niki stared at the food below him and hesitated before grabbing the chopsticks and taking a small bite, attempting to finish his meal.
The curry had gone cold, and so did their love.
fin.