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The Weight of the World

Summary:

If you've read my story Touch - this is Gaudy's POV of the events with the Ouranatha (Chapter 5).

Notes:

I didn't want to tackle the hardest chapter of Touch while in the middle of a crazy work project, so asked readers whether they might want any alternative POVs just for a bit of fun in the meantime-and, if so, what they were most interested in seeing.

Celebros said they'd like to see HR or Gaudy's POV of the Ouranatha night (Featheroffeeling seconded the request). As I'm a bit worried HR would want an entire book if I started writing from his perspective, I decided to go with Gaudy. Hope you enjoy! (Maybe when I'm done Touch you'll get HR's side of things).

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Gaudy Vawen’s stomach twisted the moment the high priests barged into the Lord of Zunidh’s apartments—his Uncle Kip’s apartments. He had never seen the priest-wizards in their formal robes of office before, but he knew who they were immediately from the masks they wore: one representing the sun and one the moon.

The room was silent for a brief moment as the high priests took in the crowded room; no doubt they hadn’t expected such an audience. Gaudy used the time to find his cousin Dora—the most likely to cause an incident. He found her in the entryway to the second receiving room, his cousin Quintus’s hands tight on her shoulders. His young cousin wasn’t going to get away.

There was no time to be grateful as the high priest dressed as the moon demanded, “Cliopher Mdang, you must come with us.” Gaudy wasn’t sure which of the two high priests the speaker was, but it didn’t matter. The man’s words explained exactly what was happening.

Before Gaudy could even think about moving, his uncle Kip—the Lord Chancellor of Zunidh—stepped forth, utterly calm and composed, his resplendent navy and bronze robes flaring out around him. His posture, his face, his eyes—nothing gave away even a hint of anxiety. Standing before the two intimidating priest-wizards, his uncle appeared as serene as the Sun-on-Earth. Knowing his uncle, he imagined that was exactly who the Lord Chancellor was trying to emulate.

“We have a meeting with his Radiancy,” his uncle Kip said matter-of-factly. “This will need to wait until after.”

Gaudy expected the high priests to back down or to insist on accompanying them to the Imperial Apartments. Instead, the second high priest stepped almost toe-to-toe with his uncle and said, “It has waited two days while we determined the cause of the magical disruption. It cannot wait any longer. There is but one answer to the breaking of a great taboo. Everyone knows this. It should not have waited. The entire world is hanging on a slim thread. Would you see it destroyed?”

If the high priest had spoken to him in that cold tone of rebuke, Gaudy was almost positive he would have collapsed in fear. His uncle somehow managed to look completely unaffected.

Too busy watching the confrontation between the Lord Chancellor and the priest-wizards, Gaudy missed his mother stepping around him to stand at his uncle’s—her brother’s—side. “What’s he talking about Kip?” his mother hissed—so loudly Gaudy winced. It was quite an etiquette breach to interrupt, not that his mother would have any reason to know that.

Gaudy expected he still looked a bit shocked, both at the situation and at his mother’s temerity, when the Lord Chancellor looked his way, met his eyes over his mother’s shoulders. His uncle Kip’s face lost its perfect serenity, his forehead wrinkling in worry, apprehension, distress. Even from steps away, Gaudy heard him draw in a sharp breath.

“Take our family up to see his Radiancy,” the Lord Chancellor directed, tone resolute and perfectly calm despite the desperate plea in his eyes. “We don’t want them to be late. I’ll deal with this.”

Gaudy’s stomach tightened as the weight of the confrontation fell directly on his shoulders. He knew, knew, knew, his uncle didn’t want this confrontation to devolve further, not in front of their family. But he also knew that if his uncle Kip left with the high priests, he might never see him again—not alive at least.

If his Radiancy were there, there would be no question as to whether his uncle had to die—Gaudy was almost certain of it. There was no possible way the Sun-on-Earth would allow the high priests to take his Lord Chancellor away from him. Take Cliopher Mdang away from him. Take the one that Gaudy knew that the Lord of Rising Stars loved more than anyone in the Nine Worlds away from him.

Gaudy could not let this happen. He did not want to see what happened if his uncle died and left the Sun-on-Earth alone. It didn’t matter that his uncle had no concept of how much their lord loved him. Gaudy knew, and knew that this confrontation couldn’t be allowed to follow its natural course. He had to stop it—which meant he needed help from the one person the high priests had to listen to.

How convenient he’d just been asked to take his family there. Gaudy nodded sharply to his uncle, acknowledging the order, then turned to his mother and the others. “Come,” he said, pushing as much confidence into his voice as he could. “We must hurry to reach his Radiancy in time.”

He stepped forward and grasped his mother’s arm. He ignored her uncertain glance back at his uncle Kip, tugging her towards the door intently. This was no time to get into an argument, particularly not where the high priests could hear. The two priest-wizards stepped aside so they could pass between them, perhaps assuming they were getting their way. Not if Gaudy could help it. He looked back to make sure the rest of the family was following—thankfully, they were.

Once everyone was collected in the hallway, Gaudy gestured for them to follow as he took off down the hall. “Hurry. We need to hurry,” he said anxiously. “Cousin Quintus, can you carry Dora?”

“Are we really that late?” his mother asked, confusion and concern both apparent in her voice.

“His Radiancy is going to want to know about Uncle Kip and the high priests. The sooner we can get to him, the better.” Gaudy’s tone wasn’t nearly as calm as he was trying to make it, definitely not as serene as his uncle had managed.

His cousin Quintus gave him a sharp glance; Quintus, at least, could tell something was wrong—if not exactly what. But he didn’t ask for details, simply scooped Dora into his arms with ease, and said, “Lead the way, Gaudy. We’ll be right behind you.”

***

Gaudy arrived at the doors to the Imperial Apartments not quite out of breath, his family members trailing behind him like ducklings. He glanced over his shoulder to see just how far he'd gotten ahead.  Leona and cousin Zemius were a good twenty-five-steps behind him, with his cousin Quintus—still carrying Dora—a ways behind them. Gaudy couldn’t see his mother, grandmother, or great aunt Oura; they had to still be coming up the staircase.

The distance, he realized, gave him an unexpected opportunity. "I need to see his Radiancy right away," he said as bluntly as he could while keeping his voice low enough not to be overheard. "The high priests have the Lord Chancellor."

The guard on the left tilted his head slightly. "Have?"

Gaudy nodded anxiously. "They came for him as we were coming here. Lord Mdang told me to bring the family here for their audience, but then he went with them. His Radiancy needs to know. They're going to kill him, I'm sure of it."

The guard drew in a quick breath, studying Gaudy intently. The guards had started to recognize him from his weekly visits to his Radiancy, but this was well outside those parameters. It was one thing to visit on his Radiancy's request–quite another to demand admittance even for something so grave. But the guards had to be as aware of the Sun-on-Earth's fondness for his Lord Chancellor as Gaudy was. Neither of them would want to hold Gaudy up, not with the devastation that would result if his warning became fact. The guard nodded gravely, then turned to his partner. "Danile, take him in. Quick now. If Commander Omo isn't there, find him after. He'll need to know.”

As the guards opened the doors, Gaudy said apprehensively, "My family doesn't know what’s going on."

The guard waved at him to enter. “I'll get someone to take care of them, Sayo Vawen. Focus on your message."

"Thank-you," he said quickly as he hurried to follow the second guard into the first receiving room.

Gaudy had been to the Imperial Apartments at least a dozen times. Each time, he'd made a slow progression through the anterooms, challenged ceremonially by each pair of guards despite them all being fully briefed and well-aware of who he was and why he was there. This time wasn't like that. The guard, Danile, hurried him through the anterooms; each pair of guards opened the next door without hesitation, letting them through without a word being spoken. Hand signals, Gaudy figured, although his mind was too focused on his destination to try and pick them up.

He landed in his lord's study less than a minute after arriving. "Wait here," Danile told him, pulling the ivory door open. Gaudy knew there were magical protections that kept most everyone out of the inner rooms without express permission. He'd heard from Tully, who'd heard it from a page, who'd heard it from one of the Tower attendants that his uncle Kip was one of the few—if not the only—exceptions. He himself was not. Gaudy silently prayed for the guard to hurry.

A few moments later, the ivory door was thrust open again. Ser Rhodin an Gaiange stood just beyond the threshold; even as the Lady Ylette came through the other way, the guard waved Gaudy forward. "She'll get your family sorted, Sayo Vawen," Ser Rhodin said as Gaudy passed through the doorway. "Come with me. Quickly now. His Radiancy wants to see you yesterday."

Gaudy followed on Ser Rhodin's heels. He'd never been farther than the Sun-on-Earth's study. Under other circumstances, he'd be quite excited to see some of the more private rooms in the Imperial Apartments, but his mind was so filled with worry for his uncle Kip that he barely noticed as they passed through a waiting room for his Radiancy’s attendants, a hallway with colourfully painted glass windows, and a richly decorated anteroom.

Ser Rhodin led him into the Imperial bedchamber without any warning or making an announcement. Gaudy followed the guard without thinking, assuming they were passing through additional rooms rather than into His room so directly. It was only when he was halfway across the floor that he noticed the massive bed Ser Rhodin was leading him towards—and his Radiancy propped up in said bed, back supported by a pile of pillows. While the Sun-on-Earth appeared frailer than Gaudy had ever seen him, his eyes were alight with a fierce magic—and those eyes were fixed entirely on Gaudy.

He dropped immediately into an obeisance. He was down less than a second when he heard, "Come here, Gaudy. Tell me what's happened."

Taking a deep breath, Gaudy stood and faced his agitated lord. "My lord, as we were about to bring the family up to see you, the high priests forced their way into the Lord of Zunidh's apartments and demanded that Uncle K—that Lord Mdang go with them. Lord Mdang tried to get them to back off, saying we were coming to see you, but they wouldn't back down."

"No. They wouldn't," his Radiancy said, words sharp, aching, furious. "What did Kip do?"

"I am certain he was going to go with them. He sent me ahead with the family, so I didn't see it though. I think he wanted to keep them from understanding what was happening." Gaudy took a deep breath, tried to meet his lord's eyes but the magic there was too strong, too powerful, too terrifying. How his uncle Kip could look into them and be so unaffected he had no idea. "I saw his resignation, my lord. I'm certain the Lord Chancellor knew what they wanted. That he was prepared to–"

The Lord of Rising Stars thrust the blanket back and stumbled towards the side of the bed. Gaudy gaped as he came off the bed, but then wobbled and almost fell.

"My lord," Rhodin cried, even as his Radiancy clung to a bedpost for stability.

"My lord," came another voice. Gaudy glanced towards the entrance to the bedchamber. For the first time, he noticed the matching guards standing to either side of the doorway. Commander Omo ignored them as he hurried forward. "My lord, please get back into bed."

The words were incredibly close to an order, but his Radiancy didn't seem to notice. "Commander Omo—they've taken Cliopher. I need to go get him before they–"

"My lord, you won't help Cliopher by having another heart attack,” the commander said calmly. “Please, let us retrieve him for you. Who has him?"

"The high priests. I must go. They might not listen to you, but they'll listen to me." Even as the Sun-on-Earth staggered a few steps from the bed, barely keeping his feet, magic sparked through the room, upset, anxious, angry.

Gaudy shuddered. If there was any question of his lord's feelings about his uncle Kip, they were answered now. The Sun-on-Earth's love was blatant and searing. But as he watched, the fury took its toll. The Sun-on-Earth collapsed to the floor, his hands the only thing keeping him from falling flat on his face. The sight was so unexpected, Gaudy could only stare.

The innermost guards were highly trained, however; one of the guards on the door rushed forward, butt of his spear outstretched. "Here my lord, hold onto this."

"My lord, please,” Commander Omo said, even as his Radiancy grabbed the spear. “Cliopher would be distraught to see you like this. He would not want you risking yourself for him."

"Kip needs me. I won't let him down. Not when he's saved me a thousand times over." His Radiancy's voice was practically plaintive, distraught, desperate.

"My lord, we can make it to Cliopher much faster if we don't need to worry about you. Please, let us do this for you. Let us save him for you."

Gaudy stared as the Sun-on-Earth made it to his feet, leaning heavily on the spear. The Serene and Glorious One was in no way serene now—he was desperate, committed, but also shaking and barely able to stand. The magic in the room sputtered. "Go then," his Radiancy commanded, even as he shook with weakness. "Take the others with you. Bring Cliopher back to me. Let nothing and no one stand in your way. No one."

"Yes, my lord," the Commander responded, saluting sharply. "Rhodin. Pikabe. Ato. Come with me."

"Hurry," the Lord of Rising Stars whispered, the word so quiet Gaudy was sure he was the only one who heard it.

***

Gaudy never imagined he'd be left alone with the Sun-on-Earth. His Radiancy always had two honour guards. Always. Always. Always. But here he was, alone, watching his lord visibly shake as he clung to the guard's relinquished spear. He had no idea what to do; nothing in his Service training had covered a situation like this. It wasn't as though he could tell the Last Emperor of Astandalas to get back into bed. Or maybe he could—because that was exactly what his uncle Kip would do. "My lord," he said softly, stepping a few feet closer but remaining well out of reach. "My Uncle Kip would tell you that you should get back into bed. Perhaps you might consider it?"

His Radiancy offered a choked laugh, his eyes more obviously fever bright now that the storm of his magic was waning. "Your Uncle Kip wouldn't dare give me an order Sayo Vawen. He'd make it a suggestion…a very pointed suggestion."

Gaudy tried not to smile at the fondness in the Sun-on-Earth’s voice—it wasn’t the time or the place. "Of course, you're right my lord—but still…"

"Yes, fine," his Radiancy said quite petulantly. Gaudy didn’t say a word, simply let out a sigh of relief as his lord used the borrowed spear prodigiously to keep his balance as he shuffled back towards his bed.

Gaudy refused, refused, to think about how much the Sun-on-Earth reminded him of Dora in that moment.

***

The next quarter-bell chimed while Gaudy stood uncertainly in the middle of the Imperial bedchamber, watching his lord fiddling nervously with the edge of the bed’s impressively embroidered coverlet. His chief attendant, the Cavalier Conju an Vilius had returned—almost dropping the tray he was carrying when he found the room empty except for Gaudy and their lord—and was now pacing completely unprofessionally back and forth at the side of the bed.

Seeing the two men so visibly anxious reminded Gaudy that these were two of his uncle’s closest friends. It didn’t matter that one was the Sun-on-Earth, the Lord of Rising Stars, and the Last Emperor of Astandalas and the other was a Lord in his own right. In this moment, they were simply two men worried about someone they cared for greatly. Loved, he corrected, watching his Radiancy closely.

Outside the bedchamber, someone shouted. Unable to make out the words, Guady turned towards the doorway, centering himself between the bed and the door in case whoever was loudly clattering towards them wasn’t a friend. He had no conscious idea what he’d do if this was an attack—only knew that without the guards, it was his duty to stand in the way of any and all threats to his lord.  

When a pack of guards came rushing through the doorway, Gaudy backed out of the way quickly. “Thank the Sun,” he whispered under his breath. One of the guards—Commander Omo—held someone in his arms. It only took Gaudy a moment to recognize his uncle. He looked dead, his body limp. Gaudy sucked in an anxious breath.

“My lord, I have him,” the commander said, his words positive, comforting, reassuring.

“Bring him here, Ludvic,” his Radiancy demanded. As hope rekindled in Gaudy’s chest, the commander hurried forward with his burden. The Sun-on-Earth shuffled sideways on the bed. “Lay him down. Gently. Gently. Should we send for Domina Audry?”

Gaudy lost sight of his uncle as the commander set him down in the bed next to his Radiancy, but he heard the man’s response clearly: “He’s been drugged, my lord, but nothing that won’t wear off. They hadn’t…started the ceremony yet.”

Gaudy sagged against the wall of the bedchamber at the commander’s words, all energy slipping out of him in a rush. “Come sit, Sayo Vawen,” came a quiet voice. Gaudy tilted his head sideways to find Lord Conju watching him intently, worriedly. “Come,” the man said again, grasping his arm gently and pulling him towards the bed.

A moment later, Gaudy found himself sitting in a chair he hadn’t noticed right next to the head of the Alinoral-style bed, watching as the Lord of Rising Stars gathered his uncle Kip close, cuddled him close. Gaudy smiled softly. No one watching could possibly mistake their lord’s feelings for anything but pure, absolute love. “My dear Cliopher,” the Sun-on-Earth whispered, annoyance plain despite the softness of the words. “When you’re awake, we’re going to have a talk as to what a reasonable response is when someone wishes to kill you.”

Notes:

There will be at least one more alternative POV coming as Vorel_Laraek was curious what Cliopher's family thought after everything that had happened - but that one might come after I write That Chapter. We'll see. I know they don't mind either way! But so you know, it will come eventually. :)

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