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Him. Why was it always him? Never mind that there were several other clans who he’d fought. Never mind that there were several other Senju he’d fought. It was always the same one. The one he was always on the lookout for. The one he was most evenly matched with, his rival. Tobirama.
Just thinking about him got Izuna all riled up. With all their history, and it was not a good one, Izuna knew that that Tobirama should be the number one target on the his list. However, that position was taken by none other than his rival’s older brother. The stupid tree that basically took his nii-san from him. As if to add insult to injury, that very same person was also responsible for making peace with his clan, the Uchiha, and others. So that meant no more battles, no more blood spilt, and no more sending children out to their deaths on the battlefield.
While Izuna was fine with that, he found it hard to adjust to a life where he didn’t have to take a defensive stance and prepare to fight his rival whenever he saw the man. It wasn’t easy to break years of training and mental programming. Whenever he saw the albino man and their eyes met, since there was no reason for Izuna to use his Sharingan during this time of peace, he couldn’t describe this feeling that came over him. Hate? Surprisingly no. Wariness? Perhaps. It was different from what he’d felt before. Despite himself, he had an inkling of what it was, but he didn’t dare admit it. To do so would be foolish.
Breath, should I take a deep?
Faith, should I take a leap?
Taste, what a bittersweet
All my, all my life
Being the younger brothers of the two clan heads who’d agreed on peace and established the village of Konoha, Izuna and Tobirama were forced required to interact. Oh, it had been hard not to arm himself to the teeth when meeting with an ex-enemy. It wasn’t easy in the beginning, difficult enough that either Madara or Hashirama had to be present to prevent a fight from breaking out. Granted, it was Izuna who generally started it. He tried to blame it on old habits dying hard and the way the Uchiha and Senju had been enemies for generations. Tobirama, however, blamed it on his belief that the Uchiha were too passionate and emotional, especially Izuna. A metaphorical stab in the chest which only angered Izuna more, unfortunately proving the Senju’s point.
All their lives, they’d fought on opposite sides of the battlefield. The thought that they could talk without resorting to blows or ninjutsu seemed impossible. Even so, Izuna did his best to cooperate - for his brother’s sake and the peace he’d won.
Eventually, Izuna found he could hold a civilised conversation with his rival. Both inside and outside of official village meetings. Most of the time he wasn’t spending with nii-san was spent with Tobirama. Voluntarily even! Not that he ever purposely sought out the red-eyed male. Never! They just…happened to spend more time together. Was it because deep down Izuna still didn’t trust Tobirama and felt the need to keep tabs on him? No. Was it for the purpose of demonstrating to the villagers that the alliance between their two clans was still strong? Not really. It was because of the somewhat indescribable feeling he felt whenever he was around the man.
It made him a little uncomfortable, that feeling. However, it wasn’t solely because he couldn’t identify it. As time went on, he was more and more certain of what he felt. It wasn’t a simple emotion. Rather it was two. It was one emotion that caused him to feel the other. Again, he would be foolish to admit it. So, he kept it to himself, only letting himself feel the brunt of it when he was all alone, and no one could overhear him.
Let me face, let me face, let me face my fears
Oh, let me face, let me face, let me face my fears
Won
’
t be long, won
’
t be long, I
’
m almost here
Watch me cry all my tears
Watch me cry all my tears
~*~
Once the younger Uchiha decided to admit his feelings to himself anyway, another feeling took hold of him. Impatience. Nothing much had changed. He and Tobirama still met as they usually did. Tobirama’s older brother was still the same stupid tree he had always been, and nii-san was still friends with him. Izuna still didn’t understand why but as long as his nii-san was happy. What made Izuna impatient was that some things didn’t change.
Why didn’t they? He was spending more time with Tobirama, and they seemed to get along! The slightly older Senju didn’t seem to mind being together, but he didn’t treat Izuna much differently. He was still the same dutiful and cold-minded person that he always was. Not that Izuna was ever foolish enough to believe he would become as passionate as an Uchiha but still. Something had to change. He couldn’t be the only one feeling this way.
“Why hasn’t anything changed?!” Izuna exclaimed, tossing his arms into the air.
Tobirama glanced at his rival and raised an eyebrow as they sat on the cliff overlooking the village. “What do you mean why hasn’t anything changed? A lot has changed. The war has ended, there is peace between our clans, and the village of Konoha has been founded.”
“No, I’m not talking about that! There are still things that haven’t changed.” Izuna turned swiftly turned to face his companion and poked the man in the chest. “Things between us haven’t changed! Why is that?!”
Tobirama just looked at Izuna, not appearing the slightest bit bothered with how the other was getting into his personal space. “Things have changed between us as well. We no longer feel the urge to kill each other on sight and can have a civilised conversation. We have even been spending time together outside of required meetings. Don’t you think you’re being a little too dramatic?”
Izuna threw his head back in frustration and groaned. “You still don’t understand! For all your intelligence in creating ninjutsu and the like, you are still rather stupid!” His glare made no impression as the albino continued to look at him silently. “Ugh, I’m going for a walk. I can’t deal with this right now. Later.” He stood up and quickly vanished from sight.
‘Stupid Senju. Not as stupid as his tree of a brother, but still. I’m getting tired of waiting for him to get a clue. I may have to take things into my own hands at this rate. I’m not sure how much longer I can take this….’
Lose, soon have nothing to
Space, this is what I choose
A mile, could you walk in my shoes
All your, all your life
Let me face, let me face, let me face my fears
Oh, let me face, let me face, let me face my fears
Won
’
t be long, won
’
t be long, I
’
m almost here
Watch me cry all my tears
~*~
Izuna kept his distance from Tobirama for a while as he thought about his next steps. Admitting his feelings to his rival would leave him more vulnerable than ever, even more than during the war. The thought of doing so terrified him, but he’d never been the type to pull punches or think before he acted. He was more hot-headed and impulsive than his older brother, which was not to say that Madara was always level-headed. Tobirama would say that no Uchiha could be completely level-headed.
Watch me cry all my tears
Izuna bit his lip and clenched his fists. He decided he was going to take the risk. Tobirama’s answer to his confession will either make or break him. Whichever way it would go, he’d have to accept it.
Watch me cry all my tears
~*~
“Tobirama!” Izuna shouted across the dirt road where the man stood.
“Izuna. It has been a while since we last talked. Are you feeling better?” Tobirama turned to face the Uchiha, as unruffled as ever.
“Am I feeling better? Ha! We’ll see about that!” He quickly crossed the street to stand in front of his rival. “I’m going to tell you how I feel right now. How I feel about you!”
Tobirama’s eyes widened slightly, displaying the most emotion Izuna had seen from him in a long time. “About…me?”
“Yes, how I feel about you!” Izuna closed his eyes and took a deep breath before looking back at the taller Senju. “I want things to change between us, Tobirama. Beyond just being civil and spending time together. Beyond this friendship of ours. I want us to be more than that. I want you to know…I love you.”
Let me face, let me face, let me face my fears
Oh, let me face, let me face, let me face my fears
Won
’
t be long, won
’
t be long, I
’
m almost here
Watch me cry all my tears