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Dean wasn’t used to people being excited to hear from him. Usually, he brought bad news and stress, he didn’t really call for the hell of it. Sam would answer the phone with a “Yeah?” or “What’d you find?” Dad wouldn’t even say anything, just saying the bare minimum as Dean explained the situation.
So, when Cas answered the phone with, “Dean! It’s so good to hear from you,” Dean really didn’t know how to respond.
All that came out of his mouth was, “Oh. Well. Good.”
Probably had to be the least eloquent, dumbest response he had ever given, but Cas had taken him totally off guard. Good to hear from him? Since when?
After that, Cas always answered the phone like that, making Dean want to call more and more. He stopped just calling for cases, although he still did that. He would call Cas for little things, like asking if he wanted to come down for a movie night, or to ask what Cas had been up to. He would call to tell Cas about the latest cooking show he had been watching and how he was excited to see if Sam liked the dish. He called to tell Cas about his thoughts at three a.m., sometimes drunk, sometimes not.
Every time, without fail, Cas answered with, “Dean! It’s so good to hear from you,” as if he hadn’t just talked to Dean hours before. It made Dean feel special in a way he hadn’t before. As if someone out there would just be excited to hear about the little, dumb things he got excited about, or to be there to talk his drunk self off the side of depression.
Dean knew that he could talk to Sam, but it wasn’t the same.
When Cas died, and the Empty refused to give up Cas, Dean found himself still calling Cas. Sometimes on purpose, sometimes out of habit. He found himself calling Cas in the grocery store to tell him about the new crackers that had peanut butter and jelly in between them. Once the voicemail sounded, Dean had slid to the floor, unable to regroup himself for quite some time. It was always little things like that that tore him apart. He was coping as well as he could with the big thing, Cas’s death, but for Cas to not hear Dean’s little things in life, that tore him apart, made him realize that Cas was really gone.
Saying Cas is dead and feeling that Cas is dead are two totally different experiences. Dean hated it. He started praying to Cas after that, instead of calling him. Maybe that way Cas could be entertained in the Empty, even though he knew it was impossible. Cas would be asleep there, but it made Dean feel better.
Sam noticed a few times but didn’t say anything.
Dean’s breakdowns seemed to hit Jack the worst. Jack didn’t visit too often at first, but after Dean made space for Jack, cared for him like he knew Cas would want him to, Jack was over every weekend for family game nights and movie nights, or even just to talk or ask for advice (giving advice to God? Way out of Dean’s expertise, though he tried his best).
Jack seemed to take Cas’s resurrection as his own job to complete, no matter how many times Dean would reassure that there wasn’t anything Jack could do; they had tried all they knew how to.
Jack was persistent though, and he found a way.
When Cas came back and said, “Dean! It’s so good to see you,” Dean sobbed and kissed Cas. It was messy and wet from tears and, but it was perfect. Even Cas’s kisses made Dean feel special.
“It’s so good to see you, too, Cas.”