Chapter Text
Wukong
Status: Guardian
Reaction: Apologies. I…uh…can't repeat most of what he said for the sake of any nearby children. So, let's just say…it wasn't pretty. Made potentially worse because I got bored during his rant, and was using my hand to mimic him. I'm now hiding where he'll never find me, although he has passed by me at least 62 times now and I'm beginning to ponder whether or not I should flee the island or not.
MK
Status: Friend
Reaction: Uhhh. Lemme get this straight. You are dating the Six-Eared Macaque. Me: Yeah. Why?!? 😒 Me: For one, because I can. For two, he loves me and I love him. So there. …
Mei
Status: Besties, Personal Confidents, and Prankster Partners
Reaction: Sooo. You and Macaque, huh? I gotta tell everyone on my live stream! Me: Um, let's do that later. 'K? Promise. So… 6:30? Me:Yeah, ok. That means I have 2½ hours. ' K. Byeee! Byeee! Yes! This is going to get us so many followers.
Sandy
Status: Friends, Tea Drinkers
Reaction: Awww, you found love! I'm so proud! How about a nice cup of Happy Tea to celebrate? 💙
Mo
Status: Snuggle Cat, Play Buddies
Reaction: 🎖️Official Meow of Approval🎖️
Nezha
Status: Guardian
Reaction: *GASP* WHAT NOW!? DID HE HURT YOU? WHO WAS IT? ARE YOU BRAINWASHED? WUKONG, SOMEHOW THIS IS YOUR FAULT!!! Wait, wait, wait… say that again? Me: I have a boyfriend? What Have I Taught You, Child!? You are in trouble and I was put in charge, which means YOU LISTEN TO ME! AND THIS IS STILL YOUR FAULT WUKONG! GO TO YOUR ROOM, YOUNG LADY! RIGHT NOW!
5 minutes later…
Okay. I have meditated and I am calm. Alright, I'm going to discuss proper consequences for disobeyi— WHAT!? WHY IS THE SIX-EARED MACAQUE IN YOUR ROOM!?! AND WHY ARE YOU KISSING HIM!? Okay, that sounds weird saying out loud. I told you to go to your room. I did not say you could bring anyone, much less a male demon, illegal boyfriend or otherwise. Me: Well, you didn't say I couldn't invite my boyfriend. Wukong, rushes in: WHERE'S THE BOYFRIEND!? HAND HIM OVER! RIGHT NOW.. Macaque…is your boyfriend? Me: Yes. Wukong: Well, he's double dead.
Macaque: Well hello to you, Wukong. I'd like to see you try. Wukong: You have asked for a death sentence. Me: If either of you try to kill Mac, I will burn you to NOTHING.
Nezha: …😓 Wukong: ...😓 Macaque: Damn, Tiger.😶 Me: 😏
Pigsy
Status: Cooking Buddies, Friends
Reaction: Slow down now! You did what now? Me: I have a boyfriend. Kid,are you happy? Me:Yeah. Then nobody should judge your decisions. Now come help me with the noodles. I need an extra hand.
Tang
Status: Friends, Book Lovers
Reaction: Wow! The Six-eared Macaque is your boyfriend? If you have kids, can I technically be an uncle!? Me: Uh… We'll deal with that if we get there.
DBK
Status: Tedious Relationship
Reaction: I suppose the two of you are close? Me: Yeah. Wait, how did you know? Demons have particular habits. When is the child coming? Me: WE'RE NOT THAT CLOSE! Yet.
Princess Iron Fan
Status: Slightly Warmer Relationship, Girlbosses
Reaction: Do tell me when the wedding is. Oh, and Red Son's in his room. I suspect he'll want to know.
Red Son
Status: Sibling-like Relationship, Machinery Buddies
Reaction: You have a boyfriend! My big sister is growing up! Uh, I mean… best friend… Me: It's okay. I wouldn't mind having a younger brother! You could be an Uncle someday! So… I can call you my sister? Me: Yup! YES! A sibling! I love you! ☺️ Me: Oh, and I brought you some rare crystals. Happy Birthday, Red.
Spider Queen
Status: We're On Good Terms
Reaction: My, my, my. You and a simian? Me: He's good! This is going to make interesting children. Me: Why is nearly everyone either mad at me or talking about children? We've only been dating for 2 months. Because we love children.
Syntax
Status: Tech Geniuses, Friends?(sort of)
Reaction: Okay. That's good, but remember, you have to keep a space in your day for everything, including your tech. So get a schedule or something. And if you want to talk to her, Spindrax is in her room. Me: Ok. Also twist the masterboard chip directory knob backwards. Then try again. It should work. Thanks.
Strong Spider
Status: Friends, Sometimes I Brush His Hair
Reaction: What's a boyfriend? Me: You know… That might be a better question to ask Spider Queen than me, 'cause I don't think that I can explain it in a way that would make sense to you.
Huntsman
Status: Suspicious Of Me
Reaction: Why are you telling me this? Me: Because Spider Queen told me to. Okay?
Spindrax
Status: Chaotic Web Trio(Me, Spindrax, and Mei), Competitive Video Game Player-In-Training
Reaction: Cool. Now come play with me. I've been getting better at Destructo Maximum.
Jin
Status: Friends, Prankster Buddies
Reaction: Sooo… No pranking him? Me: Unless I tell you to help me. Okay. Hey, we found a demon joke party. Wanna join? Me: Heck, yeah!
Yin
Status: Friends(Sorta), Also Prankster Buddies
Reaction: That's nice. Demon party rules. #1: Wear a costume and bring at least one friend. #2: Bring as many joke and/or prank items as you want, minimum of 3. We're going to set them up around the house. #3: Bring a dessert or somethin. Me: Ok.
Bai He
Status: 10000% Inseparable, BFF, Shopping Buddies
Reaction: Mr. Macaque is your boyfriend!? Does that make me your daughter? Me: Uh, no. But someday I could adopt you! That would make you my daughter! *GASP* Really! You'd do that?! Me: Yes. Yes, I would.
Chang'e
Status: Really Close Friends
Reaction: Awww! I kinda wish that I had a boyfriend but… oh well! When you've been up here alone for a while, you get used to it. Anyway, good luck! Me: Thanks!
Lady Bone Demon
Status: Stranger Who Somehow Got My Phone Number
Reaction: (This Was In Texting)
Unknown: Hello. So, what's all this news of you having a boyfriend?
Me: Well, yes, I have a boyfriend, but…
Me: Who is this and how did you get my number?
Unknown: I am the Lady Bone Demon. Also I have ways. It's a little boring down here.
Me: Aren't you dead? How are you texting me?!?
Unknown: Like I said, child, I have ways.
Me: Hang on, I'm changing your name…
Unknown: Okay.
Unknown: …
Me: Done.
Queen Of Talking About Destiny: …
Queen Of Talking About Destiny: Well, that's a new development.
Me: Why, were you expecting Lady B***h Demon or something?
Queen Of Talking About Destiny: At this point, I'd be used to it. Anyway, congratulations. You have accomplished part of your destiny.
Me: What, getting a boyfriend?
Queen Of Talking About Destiny: Yes.
Me: Okay. Nezha's calling me. I'm saving your number so I can talk to you later. Bye.
Queen Of Talking About Destiny: Goodbye, polite child. You have a great destiny ahead of you.
Not-Mayor
Status: Acquaintances, I Help Keep Him Out Of Trouble
Reaction: Have you told my lady yet? Me: Uh, Queen Of Talking About Destiny or Catadorable? The sweet, little girl that I house and provide for. Me: That would be Bai He. Catadorable is my nickname for her. And yes, I told her. Who is Queen Of Talking About Destiny? Me: Lady Bone Demon's name on my phone. What is my name on your phone? Me: Fēi Shìzhâng. That literally means Not-Mayor. Me: I know.