Chapter Text
The next few days passed in a whirlwind. Draco didn’t react as exams were cancelled. He didn’t respond to his friends when they asked him to relax; Theo didn’t even try. He knew there wasn’t much he could do. Pansy probably knew by now what was awaiting him at home. His friends tried to distract him from the thought of the summer, but none of their attempts broke through the haze that Draco had created.
The days were warm, the sun lightened the castle. The emotions in the castle were ecstatic, relieved for the summer. Everyone was celebrating the end of a long, stressful year. Draco isolated himself. He found himself wandering the halls, staring at the notes that Tom Riddle had left on the wall--fading, without Little Red to enforce the spells. They would be gone before the students left the castle.
The door to Draco’s escape opened softly. Draco was sitting cross-legged in the darkness, his eyes closed.
“Leave me alone, Theo. I told you I’ll be fine.”
“Well, anyone with eyes would be able to see that’s a lie.”
Draco’s eyes shot open and he stood quickly, his sword coming out of its hilt to point at the stranger. The taller man held his hands up. He smiled, obviously not understanding how much danger he was in.
“Speak carefully or I will kill you,” Draco said.
The man had the gall to roll his eyes. He gave a kindly smile to Draco which only served to anger Draco further.
“I’m going to tell you a secret, Draco,” the man said. “Something that isn’t meant to be public knowledge.”
“Who are you?”
“I’m getting to that, don’t get your knickers in a twist. You’ve met me before, you know. Multiple times actually.”
“No I haven’t,” Draco scoffed.
“Well, not as me. ”
“I have a sword to your neck; do keep nattering on.”
“My name is Sirius Black.”
The memory of his Mother telling him about her cousin sprang to the forefront of Draco’s mind. She hadn’t told him much. Only that Sirius Black had a trial and that his Father was to take no part in it. Draco had tried to look up his entries in the family tree, but all records of Sirius Black were gone. At least, one that would still be alive, he reasoned. His Mother had looked so upset when she had come home from the trial, Draco had assumed the trial had ended poorly.
“You’re lying,” Draco snarled.
The man quirked a smile.
“I’m really not.”
“Prove it.”
The man gave a slight nod and pulled a sword from somewhere Draco couldn’t see. The boy’s eyes widened as the man hit his sword away from his neck. The sharp clang of the metal echoed in the small room. They went back and forth, the older man parrying with ease and moving with the sword as though it was another limb. Draco’s sneer turned to a smile as they kept at it, going faster as they learned each other’s style.
Draco was excited to spar with someone who finally wasn’t holding back. He focused on the way the man moved his limbs, trying to see which side he favoured. Draco’s distraction caused the man to push him closer and closer to the far end of the wall, but the blonde was confident he would figure the pattern out soon. He never took fatal shots, favouring jabs at Draco’s arms or legs.
Draco used it to his advantage, aiming for his head or torso, forcing the man to get more creative in his attack. His smile grew as the other man stepped forward with his left. Draco moved quickly, moving his ankle and sweeping it under the man. He fell to his back with a barking laugh, his sword clattering to the ground next to him.
“I win,” Draco laughed.
The man gave Draco a haughty look.
“I yield. I’m a bit rusty. Azkaban will do that to you, I suppose. That and not having Andy correct every movement I make.”
Draco sheathed his sword at the mention of his aunt, but kept his hand on his wand as the man stood.
“How did you get exonerated?” Draco asked.
“I was proven innocent.”
“What was the new evidence?”
“Did you know that if you keep hiding yourself away in here,” the man started, ignoring Draco’s question, “shielding your mind layer by layer…then you’ll only tire your mind. It will make you much more susceptible to attack–I’m not here to attack you, Draco. Take that look out of your eyes. I’m here to help you.”
“Why?”
“You need it,” Black said bluntly. “I haven’t heard from your Mother in months which means you are not safe. I would’ve come sooner after the Basilisk business was taken care of, but I needed to occlude some things before coming to teach you.”
Draco stared into Black’s eyes and there was nothing but heavy sincerity.
“I only have three days.”
“Loads of time,” Black smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Tell you what—Link!” A House Elf appeared with a crack, smiling when he saw the man. “Could we have our dinners sent here, please?”
“Of course, Mr. Sirius.”
The elf popped away and a few moments later a table full of sandwiches and a steaming pot of tea appeared in front of them. The elf was nowhere in sight, but Black summoned chairs and gestured for Draco to sit.
“How is this going to help?”
“You look like you haven’t eaten since the Chamber of Secrets. Eat.”
Draco’s teeth ground together at the command, but he sat, pulling a sausage onto his plate. Black rolled his eyes and handed him a piece of toast before Draco picked up his utensils.
“What’s that for?”
“You haven’t eaten in four days, Draco. You can’t eat that. It’ll make you sick, and I’d rather not be cleaning that up. Toast first and some tea.”
“I’ll eat what I like!”
“Fine.”
Black took the toast back, crunching it between his teeth. He stared at Draco, waiting for him to cut into the sausage, but Draco already felt sick. The smell of all of the food made him want to gag. He scowled, picking up his utensils and cutting into his sausage. His mouth watered so much that it felt like he was burning his teeth, his stomach turning at the thought of eating it. Bile started burning its way up his throat.
“Stop that,” Black commanded, waving his wand. “You don’t need to prove anything to me.”
The smells of the food immediately vanished from the room, making Draco swallow painfully. The man walked to his side and bent on one knee so Draco would look him in the eyes.
“If you’re going to learn from me, Draco, you need to listen to me. I promise you that I will never hurt you. You have been weakening yourself and it will only make things worse. I am here to help you. Will you let me?”
Draco looked at the earnest, determined face in front of him. The uncertainty of the future, the fear of his Father and his family, pushing away his friends, it was all pressing down on Draco at this moment. It hadn’t made Draco feel this horrible before. However, an adult offering their help solely to keep him safe was crushing him.
He didn’t know why the tears fell. He didn’t understand his frustration and pain, but he couldn’t stop it. His heart ached and his breath shuddered. He closed his eyes to stop the tears, but they fell anyway. He grit his teeth, trying to stop, but the pain in his chest only got worse.
“Let it out, Draco. Don’t hold it in. It’s alright. It will be alright.”
When the sobs ceded, Draco leaned his head in his hands, exhausted, but the pain in his chest and head had dissipated, leaving only a deep exhaustion. A cup of perfectly warm tea appeared in front of his face. It didn’t smell too sweet or tangy, the steam warmed Draco’s face making him feel like he could breathe for the first time in a long time.
Draco took a sip, taking a piece of toast from the table and biting into it. The bread tasted like cardboard, the tea tasted like warm…well, it actually didn’t taste very pleasant at all. At least, it didn’t hurt to eat. Draco ate three more pieces of toast before he felt full.
“Why are you helping me?”
“I know how it feels. It’s going to hurt, and I want to ready you for it.”
“I’ve gone through much—”
“I’ve spent the past ten years in a cell next to Bellatrix Lestrange, fighting dementors off every day,” he said, interrupting Draco’s lie. “Pulling up memories of my friends’ deaths, memories of my childhood, getting torn off the family tree. You’ve gone through a lot, Draco. More than most children your age should go through. I’m helping because you don’t deserve to feel the way that I felt.”
“Why not?” Draco asked.
Sirius’s eyes softened at the question. His shoulders were still tense, but it was with less fight. He just looked tired. Draco stared at the man, trying to understand the memories he must be suffering from.
“No one deserves it, but that’s not how our family works. ‘Punishment is how you learn. Pain is an advantage. If you can breathe, you can fight—’”
“‘—and if you can fight, you can win’,” Draco whispered.
“Doesn’t mean you should live by that. If I could keep you from—” Black took a deep breath, flashing another small smile. “Right, first lesson. Breath control.”
“I’ve learned that.”
Sirius bit back a smile at that.
“Assume you’ve learned nothing. You have been forcing yourself to learn what you need to know; something that works for some people, but not you.”
“You don’t know me.”
“Like I said, we’ve met before, Draco. I know how you learn. You need to see it. As soon as you see someone else do it successfully, you can copy them perfectly. I’ve seen it.” Draco stared suspiciously at Black, trying to figure out when he had had the chance to study Draco’s habits. “Sit down. Copy me. Calm, deep breaths. Feel the air move through your entire body. Clear your mind of all thoughts. Don’t fight the calm. Release the tension in your body. Look into my eyes.”
Draco stared into the deep grey-blue eyes. They seemed older than the man, tired. Draco wondered how much the man had seen.
“Stop thinking.”
“Well, how am I meant to do that?” Draco snapped.
Instead of snapping back, the man pulled his wand out of his pocket. Draco watched as a bright white line shone from the tip. The light grew until it took over most of Draco’s sight. It didn’t hurt, though. The soft light moved and flowed through the air like a thick mist. If he focused hard enough, he could still see the outline of the man’s figure, but the way the magic mist was moving caught Draco’s attention instead. His hand lifted, touching the mist. As soon as his finger touched a tendril of fog, the white shifted into a soft, shimmering gold. The gold fought with the white, mixing and mixing until Draco couldn’t tell the difference between the two colours.
There was a soft humming sound that permeated the fog. Draco wasn’t listening. His other hand rose, causing the mist to shift to a different colour. A slight smile graced the boy’s face as he watched the mist move. Something made him focus more on the humming sound. Draco’s brows furrowed. No, it wasn’t humming. What was that?
“—three, four…exhale. One, two, three, four…inhale. Focus on my voice, Draco. That’s it.”
Draco heard a snap and the mist faded from the room entirely. Draco blinked at the sudden absence of light, staring at Black in astonishment.
“How did you do that?”
“You need to see to learn, so did some of my friends. This is how I helped them.” The man said it simply as if it were no big feat, but there was a tinge of sadness in his voice. “Try to clear your mind this time. Focus on your breathing, what it looks like in your mind’s eye. The air flowing through the room, like the light mist. Focus.”
This time, Draco focused on the memory of the moving mist. He closed his eyes, relaxed his muscles, and watched the gold turn to silver and bronze. He counted his breaths, never losing sight of the mist in his mind.
“Good, Draco. Now, hold it for as long as you can.”
Draco didn’t think it would be too hard as he breathed out his thoughts. Then he heard the man shift his weight, and the mist in his mind disappeared. Draco tensed his jaw in frustration, opening his eyes to glare at the man; the man who was smiling.
“What?” Draco huffed.
“You’re learning.”
“No, I’m not. You’re distracting me.”
“Same thing.”
Draco scoffed.
“If you knew how to teach, I wouldn’t have to do this.”
Sirius raised an eyebrow, his smile falling a bit.
“If you knew how to occlude, I wouldn’t be helping you. Believe me Draco, I could be doing so many more enjoyable things than teaching a 12 year old how to shield their mind.”
“I’m thirteen,” Draco huffed.
“Look, I can’t teach you everything, but I can teach you how to control your emotions.”
“I’ve had lessons since—”
“—you were an infant. Yes, yes. ‘All those of the Noble House of Black are to learn control .’ Those old bastards simply taught you how to charm people, how to manipulate others into seeing what you wanted them to see. That’s not what we’re doing.
“You need to learn how to not only hide your emotions, but to control them. When you learn, you can occlude. First, you need to work on your breathing.”
“How did you learn all of this?”
Black had a contemplative look on his face. Draco looked at the man, but every tell contradicted the other. He was relaxed, but his hands rubbed against his trousers with anxiety. His eyes were excited, but his mouth turned down.
“Time.”
Draco started at the sound of his voice. He hadn’t opened his mouth. Alarm bells rang in Draco’s head as he quickly erected wall after wall. The contemplative look was back on the man’s face.
“What the hell are you doing?” Draco shouted.
“Walls won’t help.”
“What do you suggest?” Draco spat, rubbing at his forehead to try and ease the ache of forming walls so quickly.
“You need to relax.”
“Why do you care? You’ll never see me again. I don’t know you. You could be a poltergeist for all I know. You’re meant to be in Azkaban.”
“Will you let me help you?” the man asked.
Draco pursed his lips, glaring at the older man. He wasn’t doing anything a normal person would do. It was incredibly frustrating. Draco knew mind games, but this wasn’t a game. This man seemed genuine, but looks weren’t all what they appeared. Draco needed help. He knew that much. His head had been pounding for the past few days. He was fairly certain Black had added extra nutrients to the toast; Draco felt better than he had in weeks.
He thought of fighting The Dark Lord and the Basilisk. The fear of seeing his Father or rather not his Father. His mind raced through all the horrors that awaited him at his home. Then he looked back at the man’s grey-blue eyes. They looked like his Mother’s, like his Aunts’. Draco sighed internally. He knew what his answer was.
There was nothing he could do to protect himself. He needed to survive the summer. Though, what would become of him in that time period was up to the Fates. Draco closed his eyes tightly. He relaxed his body, opening his palms on his crossed legs.
“Teach me, then,” Draco looked into the man’s eyes. He looked young, but his eyes held so much weight. “Teach me, Sirius Black.”
—◊◊◊—
“It’s not working!”
Glass shattered against the wall as Lucius raged.
“Master,” Pettigrew sputtered.
“Don’t call me that,” Lucius growled, pulling at his hair. “Go grovel somewhere else, and find out why this restoration elixir isn’t working. I won’t be able to aid you anymore. I hope you can understand the gravity of that. I am absolutely certain you won’t like who comes after me… Go !”
Pettigrew scurried out of the room as Lucius raged.
“It’s not the rat’s fault, you know,” Bellatrix sang.
“What do you know, Bellatrix?”
“I know that my Master is stuck inside your disgusting body and sooner or later he will fully take over. I can see him in the back of your eyelids. He’s just there, Lucy. You’re fighting so hard. Why fight the pain? What is it that’s keeping you here?”
Lucius turned away from the woman, rubbing at his temples.
“What are you planning to do to Draco?”
Bellatrix smiled nastily.
“I did say I would train him, did I not? I don’t see why it concerns you…I’m not allowed to kill him, if that’s your concern, Lucy. The Dark Lord needs him.”
“For what?”
Bellatrix laughed, a bone-tingling sound to Lucius’s ears.
“What did the Dark Lord say , Bellatrix?”
Bellatrix said nothing, proceeding to giggle and dance around the room to a waltz he couldn’t hear.
“When did he tell you this?”
Her movements slowed and Bellatrix sweetly bowed to the wall. Lucius glared at her figure only a few paces in front of him.
“Thirteen years, four days, seven hours, and..six minutes.”
Bellatrix burst into another fit of giggles, still staring at the wall. Lucius made a sound of frustration.
“What are you on about now?”
“36, 37, 38…”
“Bellatrix, what happened thirteen years ago…”
“44, 45, 46…”
“No,” Lucius breathed.
“48, 49, 50…”
“What did he tell you, Bellatrix?” Lucius snapped.
“53, 54, 55…”
“Damn it, woman! Speak!”
Lucius grabbed Bellatrix’s shoulder and she turned, taking Lucius’s wand and making him soar backwards, stopping just before he hit the ground.
“Seven minutes now, Lucy,” Bellatrix taunted, casting another spell to get Lucius to face her but still be unable to move.
“What does the Dark Lord know about my son?”
“I can’t hurt you, Lucy,” she whispered back. “If I hurt you, I hurt my master. Mustn’t hurt. Mustn’t kill. Oh, but I want to. You should be dead, Lucy. If you weren’t here, my master would be free. I could free him. I could–”
“Let me go,” Lucius commanded.
“No. Not yet. Not until my master comes. You'll die, Lucy. You need to die for my master to live. Don’t you get it?”
“What did the Dark Lord say about Draco?”
“Doesn’t matter,” Bellatrix muttered.
“He’s my son, of course it matters.”
“Draco doesn’t matter, Lucy. You don’t matter. You were never meant to be so high in my master’s ranks, yet you were. Always above me. How do you think he likes you now? After you chose to hide your allegiance when he left.”
“And look at who still owns a home, I did what I needed–”
“YOU ARE WEAK! Fragile– on the verge of breaking; of dying. Just like Draco–No, Draco will be strong. I will make him strong. He will be what the Dark Lord needs. He will become what my master foresaw. I know it. I know it. He will be loyal, so loyal, you’d think he was red.”
“What are you going to do?”
“What I promised.”
“Which is?”
“I’m going to break him to build him anew.”
Bellatrix skipped happily out of the drawing room, allowing Lucius to fall to the floor. Lucius groaned, less from the pain from falling and more from the stabbing in his temples.
You give quite a good fight for someone in your state.
Lucius shut his eyes tightly, trying to escape the voice. He curled into a ball, unable to care how undignified he looked. He attempted to occlude, pressing his temples.
That’s never worked before, Lucius.
“What have you been doing, my Lord?”
I believe you will find out someday, Lucius. Just know this, I don’t plan on you surviving this war.
“I don’t plan on trying,” Lucius replied gravely.
Good. How many days until young Draco is to be here?
“What do you want with my son?”
My, my, Lucius. Have you not figured it out yet? I thought better of you. Love is a weakness, Lucius. Once young Draco realises that, he will be ready for his task. You should be proud of him, he’ll surely survive longer than you will.
“You’re going to kill him?”
That depends entirely on him. I’m sure your sister-in-law will teach him how to serve. She was always more loyal than you. Do you know why?
Lucius didn’t answer, holding his head in pain.
It’s because she learned early on how to cut her ties to love and family. She’s smarter than you.
“You allowed me to marry, encouraged it,” Lucius spat. “I was still your right hand; above her. I love my family. You told me to love Narcissa, to look after her.”
I did . Didn’t I?
A sense of horror washed over Lucius. Though the presence in his head was incredibly smug.
“Because you needed Draco.”
Amusement took over Lucius’ body and he laughed. He laughed. Lucius’ eyes filled with tears at the thought of how his life had been manufactured. He wanted to scream. He wanted to claw at his head until there was no remnant left of the Dark Lord. Yet still his mouth formed a sinister smile. He tried to scream at the thought that Narcissa and Draco were pawns in the Dark Lord’s plan. Only a small groan left his lips.
Of course you‘re pawns. You were never anything more, Lucius. Always so set to please. Always wanting to be the best. I knew your son would inherit the same arrogance. He would have the same loyalty as you did. At one point in time, you would be happy to freely give your life for me.
“That was before you took my home, my family, and my mind.”
You’re still alive, aren’t you? Your mind has not been lost, Lucius. There was nothing left of Quirrell when I was done with him. You are allowed to live until I have no use for you, and I have great plans for you, Lucius. I think I’ll call you a failsafe.
“Is that what you’re doing in my mind? Every day, it hurts. Always right behind my eyes. What are you doing to me?”
I’m giving you a choice. A choice that you will understand later. It isn’t of any concern right now. What is of concern is allowing Bellatrix to use your wand, don’t you think?
“How am I meant to get her without a wand?”
I suggest you find out.
Lucius screamed as the pain in his brain increased as though it were being scraped out with a dull knife. Somewhere in the back of Lucius’s mind, he felt the Dark Lord burrowing deep into a dark corner; a parasite eating away at the host without an anaesthetic.
—◊◊◊—
“If you’re going for subtle…”
Theo started at Pansy’s voice next to his ear.
“What the hell, Pansy?” said Theo angrily.
“Are you trying to catch a rabbit or something? Why are you out here all alone?”
“I wasn’t trying to–”
“Staring at the birds again? Oh! Or maybe it’s the trees. Have you got a secret plant fetish I don’t know about?” Pansy gasped. “Do you fancy Longbottom? He’s definitely got a plant fetish.”
“ What? ”
“Not judging! But he’s not one of your better crushes. I mean, if you like the nerdy annoying type you have your choice of Ravenclaws. Longbottom must have a really nice–”
“I don’t fancy Longbottom! Merlin , Pansy! What’s gotten into you?”
Pansy crossed her arms and sighed softly.
“I’m bored,” she cried.
Theo pulled out a timepiece and growled internally at the time, Pansy was ruining his plans.
“Have you actually got a pocket watch?”
“Go play with Blaise.”
The girl rolled her eyes.
“He’s off oiling up the teachers for classes next year.”
“Why don’t you go do that?”
“All the teachers love me already, Theo.”
“Professor Mc–”
“She doesn’t like anyone besides Harry Potter and you know it. At least she appreciates my hard work every once and a while. I’m no mudblood, but at least I don’t cheat.”
“I hardly believe Hermione Granger knows the meaning of the word cheat.”
“Well, that’s the only explanation! She is top of the class in every subject she’s in, besides Herbology, but I don’t think anyone would actually want to be top of their class in that subject besides your beloved blood traitor. (“I don’t like Longbottom!”) No wizard has ever gotten top marks in every single class, let alone for two years straight. She must be cheating.”
Theo glanced at his watch again. He would have to finish this conversation quickly.
“I don’t care about Granger, why do you Pans?” Theo said distractedly.
“I don’t!” Theo gave her a disbelieving look. “Well, it’s just…I don’t see why she needs to be above everyone like that. It’s not fair. I’m just as clever as her, but just because she does everything faster and on the first try. It just doesn’t make sense! I don’t get it! She gets everything ! I hate her! Maria said–”
Pansy cleared her throat quickly, but it wasn’t enough to cover her blush. Theo raised an eyebrow.
“Maria?” he asked. “Who’s–”
“Don’t.”
“Well if you will go and say her name–”
“Shut it, Theo.”
“What? Little Miss ‘can talk for all of London’, can’t think of anything to say?”
Pansy’s teeth ground together and her hands turned to fists.
“I…Well, what are you waiting for? You’ve been staring at your tiny pocket watch every five seconds. You’d think you’ve got somewhere to be.”
“Oh, I’m perfectly content to talk about this Maria . My schedule has suddenly cleared up.”
“There’s nothing to talk about,” Pansy said haughtily.
Theo opened his mouth, but a whistle sounded in his pocket and caused him to purse his lips.
“Seems your schedule isn’t clear after all,” Pansy smiled.
“This conversation isn’t over.”
“Where are you off to, anyways? School is over, you know.”
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Thoe huffed, running in the opposite direction.
“I’ll find out before you get there!” Pansy called.
Theo gave a dismissive wave, moving towards a small door covered in heavy vines. He looked behind to make sure Pansy wasn’t following and snuck through the passageways, always looking back and listening to make sure no one was following him. When he made it to the meeting point, Theo took out his pocket watch again and waited. He waited five minutes, tapping his finger against the glass of his watch. He looked around and still saw no one. After ten minutes Theo growled heading towards the Slytherin common room.
“Leones stulti et nunquam tam callidi quam serpentes,” Theo said quietly.
“So what is it, drugs?”
Theo jumped so violently, he hit his elbow against the stone doorframe. Pansy was hanging from her legs on a broom right in front of the doorway.
“What the fuck, Pansy?!”
Pansy rolled her eyes, pulling herself up and drifting down to the floor.
“You were ages. Hasn’t Mr. Byrd taught you about punctuality? Are you going to tell me what’s in the parcel? Sounds like drugs. If they are, I won’t judge, but it is a bit young to start taking Wizard drugs in my opinion. Have you seen the pictures of the addicts! Their complexions are worse than the Azkaboons.”
“What are you talking about? I haven’t gotten anything,” Theo grumbled with a bit of disappointment.
“Oh, right!” said Pansy, pulling a parcel out of her pocket and enlarged it.
She shook it for good measure and small clinks hit the metal edge of the box. Theo grabbed it angrily.
“How did you get this? She didn’t even show up.”
“Theo, when will you understand that I am always ten steps ahead of all of you boys. First, you think I don’t know where you would set up a drop off? Please, you’re worse than Draco at sneaking around and that’s saying something. Second, you talking to anyone other than a hot male is enough to make any one of us suspicious. Then you talk to the American. Did you honestly think I wouldn’t know?
“I cornered the first year yesterday. The only thing I couldn’t figure out was what’s actually in the box. I could’ve opened it, but out of the kindness of my heart I didn’t. You should thank me really. I saved you a long and boring conversation with that little girl. I liked her much better when she was stone.”
Theo pursed his lips, turning the package over in his hands. Then he turned on his heel and walked purposefully to his room.
“Oi! I’m talking to you!”
“And I’m not answering.”
“I could tell everyone you’re taking drugs and get the teachers involved. It’s not good to be buying on the grounds you know.”
“It’s not drugs, Pansy.”
“Then what is it? You’re telling me you asked the American for candy? What is it?”
“Not telling.”
“I’ll just steal the box.”
“I’ll hide it.”
Pansy laughed heartily. Theo gave her a dark look. He opened his door and closed it in her face. She opened his door without hesitation, walking towards her favourite chair and sitting down delicately. Theo sighed but followed her, sitting in the chair opposite her.
“Go on, then. Open it.”
“Why do you have to know everything?” Theo moaned.
“Why do you all insist on trying to keep things from me? All year I’ve put up with it, Theo. I’m your friend. I’m Draco’s friend too. You two went on secret escapades and never let me or Blaise into it. You always do that. Have I said anything before? No. Tell me what’s in the box, Theo. You know better than most that I can keep secrets.
“Keeping Blaise out of things, whatever. He doesn’t mind. He’s off doing whatever he does with his academia. He’s all schoolwork, trying to become some sort of transfiguration aficionado. All he cares about are results and the occasional check-in with all of us. That’s fine for him. He doesn’t mind when you two leave us out of things. I care. I want to help if you’re doing wildly crazy stupid shit. I might not… agree with what you’re doing sometimes, but I can help. Alright?
“Now will you just tell me what’s in the box before I have to resort to other means. Remember it’s: figure it out yourself, ask, torture, then blackmail—knowing the only people you value are my friends won’t stop me.”
Theo rolled his eyes.
“Well, it’s not drugs.”
“Good, I didn’t want to have to slap you today. I just got my nails done. Speaking of, you didn’t say you liked them!”
Theo gave her an unimpressed look. He took a long look at her nails and finally gave his friend a slight smile.
“When have I ever disliked your nail choices—besides the time you let Blaise paint your nails?”
“We don’t speak of that day, Theo.”
Pansy looked at the wrapped parcel pointedly.
“Pick Your Poison.”
“I’m not eating whatever you have hidden in that freaky box, Theo.”
“It’s a game , Pans.”
“I haven’t heard of it.”
“Have you ever played a board game?” Pansy opened her mouth. “Besides Wizard’s Chess—which you cheat at.”
Pansy huffed, crossing her arms.
“I don’t cheat. You all are just bad at it. Why have you got a board game then? And why did you have to go through a first year to get it?”
“They only have it in America and my Father wouldn’t exactly approve of me buying from a company he hates.”
Pansy’s eyes lit up.
“Loki Toy Co.?” she laughed. “You had to talk to Namitha to get a game .”
“Don’t laugh!”
“You wanted the game that badly? I could’ve gotten it for you.”
“It was meant to be a surprise.”
“You’re rubbish at surprises Theo. I’m half convinced Narcissa let you steal that paintbrush.”
“I don’t really try with you,” Theo sniffed.
“You know it won’t work with me…that’s what you mean.”
Theo crossed his legs and leaned forward balancing his chin on his hand. Pansy gave him a withering look, sitting even straighter, positioning her legs just so. She hated when they didn’t care for their posture. It was one of Theo’s favourite ways to annoy her. She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms.
“Oh, go on. Just tell me why you wanted to surprise us.”
“I just thought it would be nice to play a game before we all left. Draco’s been talking about this game for ages–he’s been seeing it in the Prophet as becoming the new staple in American homes. The company is thinking of finally expanding to Britain and Draco’s Father was furious–doesn’t really matter. I just wanted to get him out of that damn room. He’s just sitting in there. I don’t know if he’s actually trying to do something or if he’s just…”
“He’ll be alright, Theo.”
“I don’t think he will. Not this time. This is too big.”
“They aren’t rumours are they?” Theo looked up at Pansy’s knowing eyes. “She’s gotten out of Azkaban.”
Theo nodded.
“Only so long before they stop paying the guards to keep quiet. He’s not ready.”
“No one would be ready for that, Theo. Is he eating? Sleeping?”
“He looks horrible but I think he’s eating. He slept more than three hours last night, so that’s good. I saw him a few hours ago, he finally got a shower and a change of clothes. He looks better today compared to yesterday. He looked less…”
“Hopeless?”
“It’s coming, Pans. You know it’s coming. This war. Our families will be in the middle of it. We’re going to have to choose.”
“We’re going to survive, Theo.”
“Who’s going to die in the process?”
“We’re too young to be drafted.”
“Yeah, how’s training going with your tutors? Harder than usual? Actually getting hurt? They’re training us Pansy. Our families are paying them to do that. They know something is coming. News spreads like fiendfyre for us. They’re readying us for the war. They don’t give a fuck about how old we are. We’re gonna have to choose.”
“And I choose to live!”
“So who are you willing to kill?”
“Stop talking like that.”
“Like what? Like it’s real? Like it’s now?”
The two friends stared at each other neither wanting to believe the words they were saying. Tears filled Pansy’s eyes. Theo looked away.
“I don’t want to kill anyone,” said Pansy softly.
“’Want’ is a luxury we can’t afford.”
Another charged silence filled the room as they thought. Pansy wiped her tears as Theo stared out the window.
“When did you get so macabre?” Pansy asked.
“When I saw the massive snake that the Dark Lord sent to kill Potter.”
“Scared of a snake?” Pansy teased weakly.
“I’m scared of what was controlling the snake.”
Pansy stared at Theo in shock. Theo put his hands on his face, trying to shut out the image of the serpent. Pansy made a pitying noise, her hand going to her heart.
“You’re afraid of a first year ginger? No wonder you’re so distracted. That’s an incredibly embarrassing irrational fear.”
“What? No! I—”
Pansy laughed at the look on Theo’s face, wrapping her hand around her stomach as Theo tried to hide his reaction.