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Allen’s mornings all start in the same way – tranquil and peaceful, there’s nothing that could possibly disturb him. Normally, he’d walk to campus with a blueberry muffin in his hand, watching the sun rise up as he does so.
This morning, though, was different.
Instead of going to the local bakery and busking in the golden sunlight, he was here at the school’s one hour earlier than usual, standing in front of a classroom full of his juniors.
“Well, good morning, to all of you. To everyone who may not know me, I’m Allen Ma.” He carefully introduces himself. “I’m currently in my last year, and Ms. Chu chose me to be her counterpart for this week. I hope I’ll get along well with you all!”
As Allen slowly finishes his opening ment, Minhee’s thoughts are disturbed by a familiar hand tapping his shoulder. Furrowing his eyebrows, he discreetly turns his head around, making eye contact with the brunette sitting behind him.
Hyeongjun only gives him a smile as he passes a note to the older, resulting in Minhee giving him a weird stare.
Did you know Allen was going to be a student teacher?
Minhee can only roll his eyes at his friend’s antics. He’s gotten used to it over the year, but Hyeongjun likes to do this thing where he would purposely take the seat behind Minhee simply so that he could give him short messages during class. By the 3rd encounter, the black-haired boy had started counting how many times this would occur, and today would be the 16th time.
The question itself was easy to answer, though. Their university holds an event every year where all the professors would choose a student to replace them for the week. Originally, this was implemented so that their lecturers could get some much-needed rest, and so that the students could gain “experience”, but the board realized that they needed a lot more convincing before accepting the offer, which is why they made it so that every student counterpart would receive an incentive for the semester.
The two know Allen well enough that they acknowledge that he doesn’t need those incentives, but at the same time, it’s no surprise that he was chosen for this task. Being the school paper’s managing editor, he’s always been greatly recognized for his writing abilities, so it really isn’t shocking that he would end up teaching literature.
Yes, did you?
He writes on the back of the crumpled up paper before turning around to give it to the other. Reading Minhee’s reply, Hyeongjun beams yet again before mouthing a simple ‘yes’ as well.
“Anyways, enough with that!” Allen yells, immediately making Minhee face the front. “I’ll let you ask more questions about me later, but I have to go through with Ms. Chu’s plans for this week before I do that.”
“Now, I believe you’ve finished all the chapters for this semester, right?”
The class collectively confirms this fact, but in the distance, Minhee sees a boy raise his hand.
“Lord, have mercy.” He mutters once his mind registers that the student in question was Cha Junho, who was notorious for being that kid who always reminded the professor of their assignments.
Once Allen calls on him to stand up, everyone’s worst fear comes true when Junho opens his mouth. “Yes, we’re done with everything, but Ms. Chu left us with a project last week... She never explained what it was about, though.”
Although the room is completely silent, Minhee knows that everyone was silently groaning – as much as he adores literature, Ms. Chu’s final projects seemed to be an absolute nightmare, no matter how passionate he is about the subject.
During this, Hyeongjun gives him another piece of paper and he has to resist the urge to break out into loud laughter.
Imagine being stuck in the same class with him since 10th grade.
He has known Junho since they were in high school and though he’s mostly on good terms with him, Hyeongjun loses his calm every time they’re in a lecture together. He thought that he had finally lost sight of the other when they graduated, but that headache came back when he found out that Junho got accepted into the same college as him.
Allen chuckles at this, motioning Junho to sit down. “I was about to get there, actually. I know that Ms. Chu’s projects aren’t always.. enjoyable, but I promise this one is easy.” He says, leaning against the wooden table.
“I’ll let you all choose a partner for this, but the only thing you have to do is to write an essay about one another, stating all the things you like and dislike about them. Let this be a reminder that this is crucial to your final grade.” He shortly explains, and like clockwork, everyone starts looking around the room for someone decent to pair up with. “This isn’t a requirement, but Ms. Chu said that it would be nice if you would be able to show your partner what you wrote.”
Minhee tunes out everything else that Allen has to say and faces Hyeongjun once again. It seems that he and Minhee were thinking the same thing because he was just about to pass another note to him.
Partners?
The older tries to hide the smile on his face, but loses when he sees Hyeongjun’s grin for the 3rd time this morning. He borrows the small boy’s pen and quickly scribbles his response beside the message.
Do you really expect me to say no?
He examines Hyeongjun’s expression and gives him a thumbs up when the other rolls his eyes.
%
“How’d I do?”
When lunch time rolls by, Allen manages to find both Hyeongjun and Minhee to drag them to his go-to hangout spot, also known as the bakery he gets his breakfast from, also known as the bakery Minhee’s parents own.
“Well, we can’t really judge you on that because you didn’t even teach anything.” Minhee gives his honest comment while Hyeongjun scoots over to the seat beside him.
“I have to agree with Minhee over here.” Hyeongjun says, stealing a small bite from the sandwich his friend ordered.
“No, I mean like,” Allen pauses for a bit, struggling to find the perfect way to describe what he’s trying to ask. “Did it seem forced? I kept thinking that I was reading things from a script, but I really wanted myself to appear natural to you guys.”
Hyeongjun lets out a sound of realization before nodding at Allen’s query. “Yeah, I don’t think you seemed out of place. Did you notice anything, Minhee?”
The other only shakes his head as he takes back his lunch from Hyeongjun. “No, not really. Plus, most of them seemed to like you since they recognized you from Ms. Chu’s stories.” Minhee answers.
“Ms. Chu tells you guys sto– wait, give me a minute.” The eldest stops to check his phone, snorting upon finding out who’s been sending him all those notifications. “Nevermind, it’s just Serim.”
The pair laugh at this, knowing well that Allen’s boyfriend is the clingiest person on the planet. They first met him at a party after Hyeongjun begged Minhee to come along with him. Although Serim looks intimidating on the outside, they knew from the get-go that his appearance didn’t match his personality at all, considering that he was giggling the entire time while Allen attempted to sober him up.
“How has he been reacting to this? You know, the no intimacy rule you implemented.” Hyeongjun asks, prompting a hearty laugh out of the foreigner.
“Oh, don’t even get me started. He’s complaining about the fact that I’m with you guys right now while he’s basically unable to be affectionate until my duty as a teacher is complete.” He explains. While Allen was mostly joking when he proposed this to Serim, the other clearly thought he was serious and it was now too late for Allen to take it back.
As the other two continue their conversation about this particular topic, Minhee blends into the background, like he always does. He’s not one to start conversations or respond to questions often. Instead, he’s the listener; someone who busks in the sound of people exchanging words and simply analyzing what those mean for them, observing their body language and expressions and taking note of every small habit they do while talking.
Funnily enough, he can’t recall these details too well after a while. The maximum capacity for his brain to remember these things only lasts for a month, which is why he sometimes writes these thoughts down on paper. The most common topic of these notes would most definitely be love – Minhee still has yet to actually go through this emotion despite being an adult now, but because of his tendencies, he has the ability to live through others vicariously just by noticing the smallest things.
“Well, I’ll have to get going now.” Allen smiles at the two before leaving with his binder. “I still have one more class, and I’m sure that Serim is going through absolute hell right now, so I’ll have to check up with him first.”
“Good luck on your project, by the way!” He hastily adds before leaving the shop.
Taking into account that Minhee just went through 2 tests back to back, he completely forgot about the project up until this point. These kinds of occurrences are when he seriously starts to consider getting a planner so he can stop neglecting such important deadlines.
Compared to the project they did for last year, this one was so much easier. Minhee is convinced that Ms. Chu was somehow possessed because there is no way that this is the same woman who made them write a 15-page document about a relatively unknown myth. Given, Minhee was the one who chose to give himself a headache by writing about Hyacinthus, and he had to argue with Hyeongjun that his choice was indeed unpopular.
“I’m still kinda weirded out by how simple this is,” Hyeongjun speaks up after a while. “I appreciate it and all, but you know what I mean, right?”
Minhee hums, agreeing with his statement. “This would be a piece of cake for you either way, though. I don’t think I’ll ever forget the card you gave me for my birthday last year.”
The younger looks back at the memory, trying to recall its entirety. “To be fair, you were quite drunk at the time, so I’m pretty sure you were more emotional than usual.” He says.
“I would’ve cried even if I were sober!”
The two had never asked for each other’s birthdays when they first met – Hyeongjun had decided to strike a conversation with him after they were seated next to each other during a lecture, and though they ended up chatting more frequently once they realized they had pretty much the same schedule, they were too caught up in getting other pieces of information that they completely forgot to ask this simple question.
Hyeongjun only found out on the eve of Minhee’s birthday after overhearing one of their classmates talking about it (he greatly appreciated Son Dongpyo’s loudness for once in his life). Because it was too late to buy a gift, the only thing he could do is write him a letter and promise that he’ll make up for it on Christmas.
The boy still has the card stored in a box at his parents’ house, but he hasn’t had the chance to read it again. He can only remember vague portions of what Hyeongjun had written, but something he won’t let slip past is how he burst out into tears after he finished reading it and how the brunette had to console him after that.
“If you say so.” Hyeongjun giggles, pinching Minhee’s left cheek. “I’m sure you’ll come up with something great too, though! Oh, and can we promise that we’ll show each other what we wrote once we’re done?”
Minhee closely looks at Hyeongjun for a minute; the glimmer in his eyes shine brighter whenever he’s asking someone for a favor, but the older knows that he genuinely just wants to know what Minhee actually feels about him.
In contrast to Hyeongjun, Minhee isn’t really good at words, which is ironic because he regards himself as a good writer. His point is that he’s terrible at expressing his affection through paper, which is why he often showers his friends with his gifts rather than writing them long, heartfelt letters.
Hyeongjun has every right to want to know this after all, so Minhee offers him a big smile before replying.
“I promise.”
He holds out his pinky finger and smiles even bigger when Hyeongjun completes the other half.
%
When Minhee gets back to his dorm later that day, he attempts to start on the essay, but after creating 3 drafts, he decides that he hates everything he’s written and calls it a day.
He scratches his head, slumping on the coach. The blinking cursor on the blank page is almost insulting to him. This should be easy for him, after all, and yet here he was sitting in front of 2 hours of no progress.
The frustrating part about this is that when he tried to gain feedback from Eunsang, his roommate, he was told that his work was already fine as is. What’s even more maddening is that Minhee agrees; when he read all 3 of his drafts, he thought that it would be a guaranteed pass, but something felt.. wrong about them.
He attempted to consult Allen on this, but the only thing he said is that he wasn’t “inspired enough”, whatever that means.
“You’re still working on that?” Eunsang leans over his screen, startling Minhee.
“Huh? Oh, yeah,” Minhee responds, letting out a sigh. “I can’t seem to like it.. I know something’s missing, but I don’t know what it is.”
Eunsang hums, pretending that he gets what Minhee just said. “Didn’t you say you asked your senior for advice? What did he say?” He asks, flopping down next to his flatmate.
“I can’t understand what he said either! I admire Allen’s skills and all, but I can’t stand his philosophical bullshit sometimes.” Minhee complains, shutting his laptop down in the process. It was nearing midnight, and he didn’t want to deal with that empty Google Doc any longer.
The younger, although inexperienced in the field of literature, still attempts to help Minhee out with his problem. While Eunsang does want him to solve his crisis, he also feels somewhat responsible for his sleep schedule because he fears that Minhee will be up all night thinking about this if he doesn’t get some kind of closure.
“Look, there isn’t anything wrong with what you wrote – Hyeongjun is an absolute delight to be around with, and I think you captured him perfectly, but don’t you think there’s a lack of connection in your paper?” Eunsang suggests, which Minhee listens to intently. “I know the two of you are like.. partners in crime, but Ms. Chu doesn’t know that, does she?”
“The assignment is to write what we like and dislike about our partner.” Minhee argues although he acknowledges that the other has a solid point.
“And? That doesn’t mean you can’t add more things to it. Go worry about that tomorrow, though, I don’t need you surviving on 5 cups of coffee during your class.”
Eunsang goes away soon after that, knowing well that Minhee was indeed going to stay up overthinking this simple project.
As he rereads all 3 drafts, he realizes that all of them were written as a generic essay; it felt as if he was writing about Hyeongjun in an outsider’s perspective, not someone who knows him, not someone who’s considered as his closest friend.
Now, that brings forth another issue, how the hell was he supposed to display that? This is what he means when he says that he’s not good at showing his feelings through words – he can easily write a long dissertation about utilitarianism, but he can’t write a personal birthday greeting if his life depended on it. Yes, Hyeongjun is his best friend and he’s happy that he exists, but what other emotions lie beyond the surface?
He sees the clock strike midnight and decides that this would be enough for today.
%
Minhee actually slept quite peacefully.
Well, that was until he was woken up by Eunsang’s hair dryer, but aside from that, he got a good night’s rest.
Although his 1st class doesn’t start until 11, he thought that it would be a good idea to get up early anyways to ease the burden on his mind that that damned essay has left. This would be extremely out of character for him, but he needed to get this done as quickly as possible because he’s already expecting the other student teachers to drop a bunch of projects on behalf of their professors.
When he gets out of bed, Eunsang has already left, but he concludes that it would be better without him here because the younger has a tendency to blast overly emotional ballads in the morning. However, Minhee quickly redacts that statement once he remembers that they don’t have any food left in the fridge.
He tiredly rubs his eyes, quietly heading to the restroom instead. He can grab something from his parents’ bakery before he heads to his statistics class.
.
The cold water droplets on his skin did nothing but make the emptiness in his stomach feel even worse and he decided that he should just drop by a convenience store before he stares at his computer for another 3 hours.
Though, when he opens the bathroom door, he’s met with a pleasant surprise.
“Oh! You’re awake already.” Hyeongjun’s eyes widen, shocked that the Kang Minhee was already up and going before his usual wake up time.
Minhee blinks his eyes a few times to make sure he isn’t hallucinating. Realistically, there’s no reason for Hyeongjun to visit his dorm, but he appreciates his presence nonetheless.
He slowly nods his head, walking toward the shorter boy. “Yeah, I got up early. What made you drop by?”
“Ah,” Hyeongjun smiles, resting his back on the kitchen counter. “I remember you telling me a few days ago that you guys were running out of food, so I asked Eunsang and he said that he ate the last pack of ramen.”
“So he practically made you buy our groceries?”
“Kind of?”
“He gave you money, right?”
“No, I–“
“You spent your own money on my and Eunsang’s food?!” Minhee asks way too loudly, grabbing Hyeongjun by the shoulders.
“No, you idiot!” The younger yells, removing Minhee’s grip on him. “We ended up having a lot of leftovers in our dorm that we didn’t want anymore, so I packed them all up here.”
“Oh.”
And so, the two of them sit in silence as they have breakfast together.
“So,” Hyeongjun says, sparking up another conversation. “What made you wake up? Eunsang singing in the shower? Insomnia? Nightmare?”
Minhee snorts at all of these, looking away as he takes another bite of the 4-day old pasta Hyeongjun and Dongpyo made together.
“You.” He admits, his voice an octave lower than usual. “I was awake because of you.”
Hyeongjun quirks his eyebrows at this, a mix of both confusion and amusement. “How so?“
“I was thinking about the project,” He briefly explains. “No matter what I do, I can’t find a way to be satisfied with it, so I asked Eunsang for some feedback, and I guess that made me determined to find a solution for it.”
“And.. How does that relate to me, exactly?” Hyeongjun pressed on further.
“I don’t think I embodied your charms as well as I wanted to, and I want this to be special for you when we read it to each other, so.. Yeah.” Minhee sighs, not sure if anything he just said sounded coherent.
The brunette stifles a laugh at this, shaking his head. “And here I thought I did something wrong. You must care about me so much that you’re here working early for some stupid essay.”
“Well, I do care about you, but I also care about my grades.” Minhee chuckles at Hyeongjun’s response. “Mind you, that “stupid essay” accounts for a lot.”
“Damn, now I feel bad for slandering you on my draft.” Hyeongjun mutters, which Minhee still manages to catch anyway. “It isn’t that bad, I swear! Just a few side comments on your concerning sleep schedule.”
Minhee jokingly glares at him upon this comment. “You must be happy that I’m awake early for once, then.”
“Yeah, I mean.. I wonder how you even have the energy to stay awake in our lectures sometimes. I have a bigger reason for it, though. I’ve adjusted to it after knowing you for more than a year, but back then, I used to be so sad that I couldn’t hang out with you on the weekends because you would always be sleeping when I visited your dorm.
When you asked me if I wanted to visit an amusement park for my birthday, I obviously couldn’t say no. Then, you made it a habit to go out with me every Friday, and while freshman year Hyeongjun was initially upset about your habit of always sleeping in, I’m.. not that upset anymore, especially since we’ve found a way to compromise.”
The older listens carefully throughout Hyeongjun’s little speech. Minhee has regarded himself as a homebody for his entire life, and that really has never changed as he grew up, but upon getting to know his now best friend, he understood that Hyeongjun was not able to say the same thing.
Whenever Hyeongjun would send a text asking if he was free to go out, he would always see the message 3 hours after it was sent. At first, he thought that Minhee didn’t like him, but after talking to his roommate, he found out that he was just a night owl.
Minhee wasn’t dense enough to not notice Hyeongjun’s desire for a friendly hangout, so after securing 2 tickets to Lotte World, he immediately asked if the other was down. What he didn’t intend to do was set up a weekly date on Friday, but they clearly enjoyed each other’s presence, so Minhee could never reject the offer.
“You’re part of the reason I’ve decided to get up at a reasonable hour, actually.” Minhee clears his throat, finally speaking up. “Well, it was more so that people could stop thinking I was ghosting them on the weekends, but after unintentionally ditching all your invitations, it made me realize that I wanted to get to know you better.”
He tries to find a good way to explain his situation, but is once again turned speechless upon making eye contact with Hyeongjun. “It.. It made me realize that I wanted to spend more time with you outside of campus.”
Hyeongjun nods, seeming to understand where Minhee is getting at. “Like I said, I’m glad that we found something that we’re both comfortable with. Anyways, I was never mad at you for sleeping ‘til the afternoon, I just wanted someone to be with on my free days.”
“Why’d you keep asking me even after you thought I disliked you though? Surely, Dongpyo and Woonggi would have happily gone with you if you asked.”
“Oh, those two are terrible to hang out with!”
Minhee did not make any progress on the essay that morning, but he honestly forgot about it and the stresses that came along after talking to Hyeongjun for so long. The subject of his paper was quite literally sitting in front of him, but not once was he reminded of it as he stared at the boy.
That was one of the many things Hyeongjun naturally did to him – he could make Minhee forget all his worries when they’re side by side. Oftentimes, they don’t even have to be having a conversation; Hyeongjun’s bare presence was enough to calm him down. He lost track of what they were talking about somewhere around 30 minutes ago, but it didn’t matter to him. All Minhee knows is that he wouldn’t mind experiencing this every morning.
At some point, Hyeongjun’s watch goes off and Minhee is reminded that this has to end.
“Shit, I forgot I have to walk 3 minutes from your dorm.” He mutters, cursing their university’s layout. “I just have to hope that the professor isn’t going to kill me for this.”
“Did you forget that we only have student teachers for this week as well?” Minhee says.
“No, but they could very much snitch on me.” Hyeongjun replies, quickly grabbing all his stuff.
“Well, see you on Friday, Minhee!” He yells before leaving, running out the front door.
Minhee could only wave back although Hyeongjun didn’t have the time to look back anymore. He had hoped that they had more time; he had hoped that Hyeongjun could have stayed longer, but alas, here he was thinking about the essay even more.
He runs his fingers through his hair and contemplates on what Hyeongjun means to him.
%
Friday came around faster than usual, Minhee notices.
The highlight of his weeks are definitely always taken by his and Hyeongjun’s hangouts. Oftentimes, they would plan these out together, but if they know that the other is busy, then they’ll handle it on their own. Though, there are also times where one of them would insist on it being a surprise, and this week just so happens to be one of those situations.
“I swear you’re not usually this secretive.” Minhee says as Hyeongjun drags him by the hand. “Next thing I know, you’ve brought me to a slaughterhouse to kill me.”
Hyeongjun looks back at him, offended by the older’s comments. “I didn’t bring you food the other day just for you to treat me like this!”
The other laughs at this. “Hyeongjun, I can’t tell you how much I appreciated that gesture, but I could clearly tell that most of them were made by your roommates because they tasted like complete shit.”
“Oh, I’m so glad you at least caught up on that, then.” And within seconds, Hyeongjun goes back to his cheerful mood and lets go of his hold on Minhee. “Anyways, we’re here now!”
Minhee breaks his gaze for a second to look at what was standing in front of him, and it’s –
“A carnival?“ He reads the sign as if it were a question.
“I figured we both needed to make the most of this before we get extremely busy, so what better way to spend it than this, right?” Hyeongjun explains, somewhat hesitant about his choice.
The older boy grins, nodding along. “You’re right. Let’s spend this day without any regrets, yeah?”
Hyeongjun hums, taking Minhee’s hand once again.
.
If he had to be honest, Minhee didn’t want to go out today.
With all the deadlines he had to be chasing in the following weeks, he figured that it would be better if he didn’t follow up with this, but he realized that he would feel even worse if he just secluded himself in his room for the whole day. Besides, this is what his (platonic) dates with Hyeongjun are meant to be for anyway – to get away from a rut and spend a good time together.
Hyeongjun is like a big ball of sunshine that, no matter what he does, will always find a way to make the people around him smile. Minhee knows that he has limits as well sometimes, so it was clear to him that Fridays are also when Hyeongjun gets to destress for a bit, and Minhee is glad with this piece of information. He’s glad that his best friend won’t ever lose his hopeful nature.
“It’s been a long time since I’ve been to a carnival..” Hyeongjun mutters underneath his breath, still clinging onto Minhee.
“Well, where do you want to go first?”
“I don’t know, maybe we should just.. go with the flow?”
“We should.”
And so, they embark on this journey with no plan whatsoever.
Neither of them minded, though, as they knew that they always had more fun when they had no idea what they were doing. It reminded them that they didn’t need to have a concrete schedule for the day because they were already having fun just by being together. Arguably, it would have been better either way if they just winged this carnival date since Hyeongjun forgot to bring a map. Running around, pointing at random stands, and dragging one another to wherever they wanted to go were enough for the two.
As Hyeongjun excitedly yells over a huge teddy bear at a ring toss game, Minhee thinks that this might be one of their best hangouts yet – it didn’t even occur to him that more than 2 hours had already passed until he found the time to check his phone again. His body started to get tired at some point, but Hyeongjun’s enthusiasm was enough to get him rising and they had no intentions to stop anytime soon.
“What was your favorite moment from this day so far?” The two eventually find their way to win that plush Hyeongjun was screaming about and as Minhee fails to throw a bunch of rings at the bottles behind the stand, Hyeongjun asks him this question.
Minhee contemplates for a bit, getting a new box of rings. “Hmm.. Maybe the shooting game?”
“Why’d you make me play this one again?” Minhee groans as he hesitantly holds the dart in between his fingers.
“‘Cause,” Hyeongjun pauses, putting his hand on Minhee’s shoulder. “I have terrible aim and I want to win something for once. Oh, and because you love me.”
Minhee sighs. “And because I love you.” He repeats, throwing the dart and closing his eyes soon after.
He only opens them again when Hyeongjun shakes him violently and that’s when he sees that he hit bullseye on his 1st shot, which successfully won them matching bracelets.
The older gets a ring in for the 1st time while Hyeongjun has already gotten multiple. “Oh! I take it back, the ferris wheel was my favorite part.”
“Kang Minhee, you piece of shit, why’d you make me go here?!” Hyeongjun curses the other amidst a fit of giggles, trying to fight against Minhee’s grip on him.
“My legs are tired and I need to sit somewhere before they fall off.” He says, finally getting Hyeongjun in the cart. “Also, the lights would look great up here.”
Hyeongjun crosses his arms. “That’s true.. Plus, I’ve pretty much dragged you on everything, so this is fair game, I guess.”
Minhee giggles at this. “So does that mean you love me too?”
“Yes, that means I love you.”
The brunette rolls his eyes at Minhee’s response. “You’re only saying that because you managed to force me to go on it.”
“No, it’s because I finally got to rest my body.” Minhee corrects him, finally giving up on ring toss. “Looks like we’re not getting you that teddy bear.”
Hyeongjun shrugs. “It’s fine, I think we’ve won enough already.”
“Clearly.” Minhee says, staring at the puppy plushies on the ground.
“Anyways!” Hyeongjun picks up the puppies and drags the other once more. “I asked that because I have one last thing to show you before we separate for the night.”
“And what might that be?” He asks, suspicious and curious at the same time.
“This.” Hyeongjun makes him sit down on the grass as they face the seashore near the carnival.
“Still doesn’t answer my question.”
“It’s a fireworks show.”
“This wasn’t in my original plans, but then again, nothing from this day was.” Hyeongjun smiles thinking about everything they did in the past few hours. “I was scared that maybe you wouldn’t have a lot of fun, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen you laugh as much as you did today.”
“You laugh at me and my jokes every now and then, but it’s only to the extent of a few giggles, nothing more than that. I felt like I saw a new side of you today, though, and it made me want to know that part of Kang Minhee more, so I kept dragging you all over the carnival.
While we were on the ferris wheel, I just lost myself in the moment for a second, and it made me think “I’m so lucky to have this person as my best friend!”, you know? It feels just like yesterday when we first met each other.”
Hyeongjun pauses for a bit, turning his head to face Minhee. “It made me so happy to think that you’d be willing to spend your Fridays with me even when you’re busy, and the fact that you’re always here to spend moments like these with me is just..” He stops, wiping a few tears from the corner of his eyes although the smile on his face remains.
“Don’t worry, I get what you were trying to say.” Minhee assures him, resting his hand on top of Hyeongjun’s. “I’d probably never do this with anyone else, and I think that’s just the thing about us and our friendship – we have fun in each other’s presence without thinking about other people.”
“So, for that, I want to say thank you.. for existing.”
The younger lightly hits arm as the tears in his eyes start to well even more. “Stop making me cry like this so often, I can’t get used to you being sappy!” Hyeongjun yells out in the middle of a few sniffles.
He beams widely, ruffling Hyeongjun’s hair. “I can’t promise that I won’t do this more often, alright?” He says, and as if on cue, lights erupt in the distance.
The pair quickly shut up and stare in awe as they watch the various colors swirl around in the sky and explode. They were quite far from where the show is supposed to be, but that didn’t stop them from appreciating its brilliance.
Minhee doesn’t like saying that things seemed as if they came from a movie, but this moment would be an exception. The cold air hugged his body as he watched the scene unfold, but the fireworks weren’t what he was focused on.
Hyeongjun is too lost in the show to notice the way Minhee is looking at him, and Minhee is glad for that because he doesn’t know what he would do if he got caught.
This is the 1st time he’s been able to cherish Hyeongjun’s face in a while – the boy was beautiful and it’s not like he wasn’t aware of that, but it’s times like these where he can observe his features more.
His eyes are bigger than they usually are; a sign that he’s intently concentrated on something. His cherry-colored lips are shaped into a curve as well, getting wider and wider as the seconds pass by. As Minhee continues his admiration, he feels Hyeongjun shifting closer to him.
“They’re breathtaking, aren’t they?” Hyeongjun says in fascination, his focus still locked on the light show.
“The prettiest.” Minhee mumbles.
He turns his head to watch the fireworks and throws his arm around Hyeongjun’s shoulders.
%
Minhee realizes that he’s completely screwed when he gets back to his dorm on that fateful Friday.
When the fireworks had finished, Hyeongjun offered for them to grab dinner together, but Minhee knew better than to heighten his own feelings, so he politely declined the offer even though he wanted to and made an excuse that his parents needed assistance.
He’s still in some sort of denial phase where he's trying to convince himself that it was only a one time thing, but the more he thinks about it, the more his emotions become clearer. For the past 3 days, he’s tried his best to avoid Hyeongjun, though he knows that he has to face reality at some point.
So, here he was sitting by himself during lunch at the bakery.
He forgot just how lonesome it is to be by himself like this – he had gotten too used to Hyeongjun’s chatter that it feels weird that isn’t there with him. Minhee knows that trying to distance himself would probably only intensify his little crush, but at the same time, so
would spending more time with him.
“I’m here, why’d you ask for me?” Recognizing the familiar voice, Minhee quickly raises his head from the table, glad that Allen has finally arrived.
As the foreigner takes a seat across from him, he takes a deep breath before speaking. “We have a project for psychology, and I figured that you’d be able to help me understand it more. Is that okay with you?” He nervously explains.
That entire sentence was a lie; their professor hasn’t dropped a project on them (yet), and even then, Minhee wouldn’t call over a senior to help him with such a trivial thing.
Allen hums, not seeming to suspect anything. “Yeah, it’s fine. What’s it about?”
“It’s.. about love.” Minhee continues talking. “More specifically, the emotions you feel when you’re in love.”
The older blinks his eyes for a few seconds, and Minhee is pretty much sure that he’s lost him. “And why’d you expect me to be good with this?”
“Look, I think of you as a love expert because you and Serim have been dating for so long,” He crosses his arms. “Plus, it’d be too awkward to ask my parents or.. anyone else, really.”
Allen chuckles, resting his head on his palm. “Minhee, it really isn’t that easy. It took me months to realize I even liked Serim.” He says, looking back at how oblivious he was then.
“Well, that part I know.” Minhee mutters quietly and he’s thankful that Allen didn’t catch it.
“I guess an easy way to start this off with is when did you know you loved him?” He proceeds to ask another question. “I mean, how long were you guys together for when it registered to you that you’ll never stop loving him?”
“God, that’s an even harder question to answer.” Allen groans, thinking about it for a while. “Well.. To begin, it was never a “love at first sight” thing with Serim. I hated him, in fact.”
“Hate is a strong word, but I really want you to envision freshman year Serim, an unbelievably talented athlete who also happened to become my rival when I tried out for the school’s journalism club. It wasn’t until we were grouped together for an assignment that I finally stopped being bitter and it kind of hit me that I was judging him unfairly just because I was petty.
I already knew that Serim was a sweet person, though I got to meet more sides of him once we started going out. I didn’t know what to expect when I agreed to be his boyfriend, but at some point, I realized that I’m the only person who’ll get to experience this. Unconsciously, some of his habits began to creep into my life, and it came across to me that I wanted to spend the rest of eternity with him.”
“I believe that we still have a long way to go, but I know that at the end of the day, it’ll be alright because I’ll always come home to him.” He wraps up his story with a grin.
Although Minhee might not have had personally related to some of the things he said, he understood the point Allen was trying to get across. It’s rare not to see him and Serim together – they pretty much come as a Buy 1, Take 1 package. It’s kind of like him and Hyeongjun, too.
With how much time they’ve spent together, he can’t help but feel empty when the other isn’t around. Minhee didn’t even notice how much Hyeongjun had influenced him until his friends pointed it out. For starters, Minhee has stopped being moody in the morning since he knows that he’ll see him later in the day. Because of their Friday hangouts, he’s also started to enjoy going out more rather than studying all day by himself.
He nods at Allen with empathy. “So, what did you do when you realized that you liked him?”
“Nothing,” Allen shortly answers. “Once you’ve fallen for someone, it’s quite difficult to fall back into orbit, so I just let myself fall freely. Besides, it was hard to ignore it when I practically saw him everyday.”
“I see.” Minhee hides his distress with a smile. “Thank you, Allen, I.. really appreciate it, and I’m sorry for troubling you with this.”
“It’s fine, I swear!” The older insists. “Somehow, it helped me reflect on myself, so it felt therapeutic in a way.”
“Oh! I have one more thing to ask before you leave.” Minhee suddenly shouts as Allen prepares to rise from his seat. “Will you be the one checking our essays? For literature?”
Allen furrows his eyebrows at this. “Huh? Oh, yeah, why’d you ask?”
“..No reason. Thank you again, Allen!” He waves goodbye to his senior.
He heaves a sigh of relief and goes back to working on his actual project.
%
Minhee has been dreading this day to come.
After his conversation with Allen, he went through yet another crisis where he kept telling himself to just accept the way he feels toward Hyeongjun. He hates the fact that most of his friends are also close with the younger, as it prevents him from ranting about his feelings. So, he figured that the only way to relieve his stress is to finally finish the goddamn essay that started this whole thing in the first place.
Once he regained his composure, Minhee texted Hyeongjun and explained that the reason he was avoiding him was because he got sick and didn’t want to infect him, which seemed to be a pretty convincing excuse. After he assured Hyeongjun that he was alright now, the other asked if they’ll still be reading their essays to one another.
This was the part Minhee forgot about.
Although his work isn’t really straightforward, his chest gets heavy just by thinking about watching Hyeongjun’s reaction as he reads and confesses his feelings to him. At the end, he knew that he couldn’t break something that he promised, so he hesitantly said yes.
And now, here he was at a park sitting with Hyeongjun on the eve of their project’s deadline.
“I’m nervous.” Minhee admits, clutching his phone a bit too tightly.
“I can tell.” Hyeongjun jokes, his screen helping illuminate his face amidst the darkness. “I’m not gonna judge your message or anything, what are you so scared of?”
I’m scared of losing you, Minhee thinks although he doesn’t say it out loud.
He scratches his nape. “Just.. I’m not used to expressing myself. In this way, at least.”
Hyeongjun hums, being considerate of the other’s feelings. “Will it make you feel better if I went first?” He asks as an attempt to ease Minhee’s nerves.
The tall boy eagerly nods and with that, Hyeongjun takes a deep breath before he starts.
“Kang Minhee was not someone who I expected to be close with when I met him during freshman year. To be truthful, I was scared of him because he was too tall for me, and because his face just looked so stern. Despite this, I tried my best to maintain a conversation with him, as destiny thought that it would be a fun idea to make us sit next to each other during a lecture for the very same subject I’m writing for right now.
Although it took me a while to form a bond with him, I knew from the start that he’s not someone who I can judge just from his outer appearance. He was quite quiet when we first met, but now, we shout at each other whenever we see one another. That’s one of the things I like about Minhee – he stays secluded for a while, but once you’ve gotten past his exterior, you can see new sides of him that he only exposes to certain people in his life.
He’s not the most outgoing person, but he’s loads of fun to be around with when he’s with someone whose presence he enjoys. That’s the thing about Minhee. He naturally absorbs the energy of the people around him, but he can’t completely open up unless one of his close friends or family members are there. Back then, I couldn’t understand why he wasn’t willing to go to social events with me, but it occurred to me that Minhee isn’t the type of person to go out of his way to make friends. Even now, his circle of friends remains small, but as long as he’s happy with that, I’m happy with it as well.
Most of my pet peeves about Minhee only lasted for our freshman year, which I admit wasn’t that long ago. The point I’m trying to bring here is that it’s hard to find things to dislike about him. The 1 real thing that I hated him for back then is how much he used to sleep in. He’s the type of person to stay up until 4 in the morning and then wake up in the afternoon. At some point, I thought he didn’t like me because he always replied to my texts late, but upon finding out about his habit, I finally understood why this happened.
I haven’t mentioned the thing I like about Minhee the most, though, and it’s how he’s always there for me, no matter the situation. When I got sick during finals last year, he made sure to accompany me at my dorm, checking my temperature every now and then while he studied in the living room. Even when we were apart, he found a way to be there – for example, when I visited my family during Chuseok, he offered for us to take a train back home together because there were no buses from Tongyeong and it was my 1st time taking the metro.
Kang Minhee is the prime example of “don’t judge a book by its cover”, as they famously say it. If I hadn’t decided to strike up a conversation with him, then I probably would have never become friends with him. That thought alone is scary because I’ve gotten too used to him being around me all the time, and for that, I think I’m pretty lucky to have him as my best friend.”
He finishes up his essay with him having to catch his breath, and Minhee applauds him with a smile on his face.
“I told you this would be easy for you, it’s even better than the birthday letter you wrote for me.” Minhee teases him, causing Hyeongjun to flush red.
“Compliments are embarrassing, just go on with yours!” He yells excitedly, ignoring the rose blush all over his face.
“I told you I’m nervous.” Minhee whines, doing his best to drag out the moment. “I wasn’t prepared for this.”
Hyeongjun mimics his tone. “I wasn’t prepared for this, he says – neither was I, so hurry up, pretty boy.”
Accepting his fate, Minhee closes his eyes for a bit, cherishing this moment in case this ends up being the last time he and Hyeongjun speak to each other.
Once he’s calmed himself down, he finally reads the very thing that has set this situation into motion.
“If I had to make an analogy for my and Hyeongjun’s dynamic, then it would be most fitting to compare us to a sunshower. A sunshower is a phenomenon in which the sun continues to shine amidst rainfall. In our case, I would be the cold rain while he’s the sunlight that never stops radiating its glow. If you ever encounter someone from our year and ask them to describe Hyeongjun, then “ball of sunshine” would surely appear as a common portrayal of him.
He always had a smile on his face whenever I saw him walk around campus, and it made me question just how happy someone could be every single day. Being a grumpy 19 year old who was not looking forward to the college experience, I was the complete opposite of him. I first thought that his cheerful personality was a facade, but I quickly found out that this is how Hyeongjun naturally is. It took me a while to adjust to his liveliness, but after being friends with him for nearly a month, I accepted that he’s become a part of my life now.
Although we didn’t know each other that well yet, Hyeongjun always seemed to think of me on my free days. He would ask if I wanted to go out with him, but I could never respond on time because I was always asleep when he sent me those messages. Even then, that didn’t prevent him from going out of his way to write me a letter for my birthday. I wasn’t expecting anything from him nor did I ask him to prepare something special – he was one of the few friends I made during the start of freshman year, so it was and still is something that I keep close to my heart.
While I’m the older one between us two, it almost feels like Hyeongjun is the one taking care of me sometimes. He always notices when I’m too overwhelmed with my academics, and whenever this happens, he would drag me out for a walk in the park so that I can take a breather. This was when I realized that the reason he often has a smile on his face is because he wants to cheer up everyone around him, just like a sunshower.
I admit that I’m not a very optimistic person – I’m not the kind who manages to make everything negative, I just don’t expect things to turn out well all of the time. What I’m trying to say here is that Hyeongjun has greatly influenced me just by simply existing. I’m not as moody as I used to be, and I’ve left some of my homebody tendencies since we go out together every Friday now, just the two of us.
There’s 1 thing that I genuinely dislike about Hyeongjun, as the only other factors that I could think of were inside jokes between us. That being said, the 1 thing that I don’t like about Song Hyeongjun is how he keeps things to himself. This may make me sound hypocritical because I tend to do this as well, but given that he always has the same expression on his face, it’s quite hard to read him sometimes. I memorize his habits like the back of my hand, but this is something that I’ve always had difficulty with.
The thing is that no one can read his emotions too, and I don’t like thinking about how his life might be in turbulence right now and I haven’t even noticed it. Hyeongjun has become a very precious person in my life, one that I never want to lose or drift away from. He’ll always be the sunshine to my rain, but I understand that the sun needs its time to rest as well, so I sincerely wish that Hyeongjun will also receive his well-deserved rest someday.”
At that moment, Minhee closes his phone. Hyeongjun is about to speak up when the other continues to talk, going off script.
“Hyeongjun,” He takes another deep breath. “Remember a week ago when I told you that I had a difficult time writing this essay?”
The younger slowly nods, prompting Minhee to go on. “At first, I thought it’s because I was just a perfectionist, but then, it started to dawn upon me that my 1st few drafts didn't reflect you the way I wanted to.”
“After our hangout last Friday, I concluded that neither of those were correct.” Minhee hesitates on saying the next part, but at this point, he has nothing to lose anymore. “I was looking at you during the fireworks show, and it made me realize that you’re someone who I wouldn’t mind seeing everyday for the rest of my life.”
“I thought I was fooling myself, but as I looked back on the memory, more instances in the past of me admiring you came back to me. I was still in denial, so I asked Allen for advice. When he told me the tell-tale signs of falling in love, I knew I was screwed because I understood exactly what he was saying.” He explains, his words getting increasingly louder with every passing second.
“Hyeongjun, you’re a source of light to everyone around you, and I’m scared that someday you’ll lose your glow.” Minhee pauses for a second, finally looking at Hyeongjun in the eyes. “I’m scared that I’ll be the reason you’ll lose your glow.”
“All my life, I’ve been observing how people express their affection for one another, wondering if I’ll ever get to experience something like that. Now, I’ve decided to stop watching others’ love stories and live my own tale. In simple words, I’m in love with you, and I don’t think that will ever change.”
The two sit in silence for a next minute or so, both of them too scared to say something. Minhee didn’t even notice that he’s been breathing heavily and the fact that his hands have been shaking.
“Minhee, I don’t think you understand how long I’ve been trying to figure out my feelings for you.” Hyeongjun finally speaks, sighing. “I always thought you were attractive, but it only boiled down to your looks and nothing else.”
“It wasn't until the start of the semester when Dongpyo and Woonggi started asking if you and I were going out. Honestly, I couldn’t process the possibility of it, but after a while, I grew to accept that I actually do like you.” He explains, feeling a bit flustered after Minhee’s own confession. “I just wasn’t obvious with it because I suppressed – God, you really did describe me perfectly in that essay.”
Minhee sits with his mouth wide open during the entirety of Hyeongjun’s response. He expected this encounter to go many ways, but this was not one of them.
“What? Cat got your tongue?” Hyeongjun chuckles, scooting closer to Minhee to give him a hug. “I wouldn’t mind spending every day with you too, to be fair.”
Minhee automatically returns the warm embrace, caressing Hyeongjun’s hair, but he still has some questions that need to be answered. “What does this mean for us, exactly? I mean, what follows after this?”
He feels Hyeongjun smile against his neck. “Just go with the flow, we’ll find a way to compromise. We always do.”
He hums in agreement and hugs Hyeongjun even tighter.
%
“Your essay made me lose sleep at night.” Allen says in a straightforward manner, almost making Minhee choke on his drink.
“What did I do?” He asks, coughing lightly. “I swear my essay wasn’t that bad.”
“No, it’s not that,” Allen sighs, trying to keep his calm. “It’s just so fucking obvious that you like Hyeongjun, and now I just believe that you asked me those questions for advice!”
Minhee laughs a bit too loudly, his stomach starting to hurt from this action.
“Turns out you’re not that dense after all.” He responds, recovering from his laughing fit.
It had been a month after the deadline of the essay and Allen randomly asked him to grab some coffee. What Minhee thought to be a casual meetup ended up being a confrontation between him and his senior.
“And besides, haven’t you heard from Serim?” He adds, stifling a few giggles.
Allen raises an eyebrow at this. “Heard from Serim? About what?” He returns the question.
“Hyeongjun told Serim quite recently that we’ve been dating for 3 weeks already.”
“And he didn’t tell me?! That bitch!”