Actions

Work Header

Rating:
Archive Warning:
Category:
Fandom:
Relationship:
Additional Tags:
Language:
English
Stats:
Published:
2023-01-02
Words:
538
Chapters:
1/1
Comments:
2
Kudos:
78
Bookmarks:
2
Hits:
874

to fight off what's inside my head

Summary:

Adam takes a shower for the first time after the trap.

Notes:

... wow, I have not posted to ao3 in a while
this is my first fic in the saw fandom, I haven't written fanfiction in a pretty long time but I really liked writing this and I hope y'all like it too!
(I did put this in the tags but this is written in second person pov, I know some people don't vibe with that)

title from it's alright by mother mother

Work Text:

Turn the water on. Wait for it to warm up.
"It's alright. I'll be right here."
Turn on the shower.
Breathe.
"Yeah... yeah, I know."
Get in the shower.
Ignore the sound of the drain dripping.
The water runs down your back.
Your hair is wet.
"Lawrence..."
The feeling of your hair sticking to the back of your neck makes you feel a little sick.
"Yeah?"
You can feel yourself slipping but knowing that he's just on the other side of the curtain grounds you.
"Talk to me. Ask me questions or something."
Keep me here. Don't let me slip back there.
Water is pooling around your feet.
"Alright... what's- what's your favorite color?"
The question's basic but it still gets you to think about something else for a second.
"Blue."
The water's still sort-of cold. Even though you don't want to move, you shift to turn up the warm water. Cold water is so, so much worse than warm water.
"What's... a song you like but can't remember the words to?"
"Uh... Closer by Nine Inch Nails."
"Really? You listen to that song so much, how could you not remember the words?"
His music taste could not be more different from yours but he still remembers the songs you like.
"I don't know, I always remember the lyrics in the wrong order!"
You suddenly remember why you're standing in a shower even though just being in a bathroom reminds you of bleeding out on a disgusting tiled floor.
"What's something you liked as a kid but haven't done since?"
"...oh! I skateboarded as a kid!"
Grab the shampoo. Lather it into your hair.
"I can absolutely picture you as a skateboarder."
"Yeah?"
Wash out the shampoo.
"Definitely. Didn't you say once that you dyed your hair every color before you dropped out of college? What was the first color?"
Conditioner. Your hair hasn't felt clean in so long.
"I- ...huh. First, I think, was when I was 15 and I used sharpie to dye my hair blue. Well, it was blue but it turned green."
"Do I even want to know how you used sharpie to dye your hair?"
Soap on the arms, the legs, the chest. Avoid getting soap near the gunshot wound.
"Nope. For the future, if Diana wants to dye her hair, let her. If she really wants to, she'll find a way."
"Mm, good to know."
It's almost over. You're almost done.
The dripping of the drain is getting to you a little bit.
It's fine, it's fine, you're fine.
Wash out the conditioner, wash off the soap.
"The first time I used actual dye, it was bubblegum pink."
"...that's fantastic."
"Yep, bleached it and dyed it in a friend's bathroom sink and everything. My dad wanted to flay me."
He laughs and that makes you smile.
"I have to see pictures."
Ok, you're done. It's over.
Turn off the water and step out of the shower.
Wrap the towel around yourself and turn around.
Lawrence is smiling at you and it makes you feel warm and alive and okay.
You're not dying, you're home, you're alright.
"Hey."
"You alright?" He asked, softly.
You nod and smile back at him.
And you are.