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The first time Itadori met Nobara, he thought she was beautiful. Oddly, it wasn’t her physical appearance necessarily. Though, that was also true. Rather, there lingered something in her very essence - an attribute only linked to her. It was something skin deep like each syllable had been stitched into flesh. It was a peculiar feeling, to see someone and feel their beauty so tangibly that it made your heart ache.
However, that was not to say he was necessarily attracted to her, he preferred blonde women with a more curvy figure. But, it was simply a fact that existed. The sky was blue, the grass was green and Nobara was breathtaking.
When she began to talk, he saw all the colours of her: crass, unapologetic, adorable when excited and it was strange that Itadori was fond of someone so instantly. He was an extrovert in every definition of the word, yet, that didn’t mean he liked people to this extent this fast. There was an urge that lingered within him to get to know her better, (a friendship crush was what he liked to call it. It’s something Megumi will never stop teasing him about).
To his surprise, Nobara reached out first. They had just concluded unpacking their luggage in the dorm and Itadori was now contemplating whether he should put his Jennifer Lawrence poster right beside his bed or on the wall by his dresser. After some serious debate, (and other alternate options explored like the wall near the window), he settled on putting her right above his nightstand. Gotta keep what you love close to you after all, but there was probably no woman that he would ever love over Jennifer Lawrence. Except for his future wife.
He heard a knock on the door followed by an, “Oi, Itadori-kun? Are you in there?”
The noise nearly startled him hard enough to drop the poster from his hands. He barely saved it from the clutches of the ground and let out a relieved sigh.
“Hello?” she calls again.
Oh, right, Kugisaki-san was calling.
“Yeah hold on, just give me a sec,” he calls back. He quickly puts his poster on top of some of his boxes and pushes them roughly to the side. While he was embodying an interior designer, it just so happened he decided to scatter all of his stuff everywhere. Walking space was practically invisible, and he did not want to start one of their first impressions outside of their initial meeting as him being a slob.
He finally opens the door to see Nobara inspecting her nails. Offering her a grin as he leads against the doorframe he greets, “What’s up Kugisaki-san”
(Too bright, she thinks shielding her face with her hand)
Waving away the literal light particles manifesting from how bright he was shining she said, “Do you want to come to the cafe with me?”
He cocks his head, “Which one, the one down two streets?” They’d come across quite a few during their albeit short time in Tokyo.
She nods and points her thumb toward the hallway behind her, “Fushiguro-kun is coming too, he’s waiting outside. I want to try their new frappuccino, I desperately need some caffeine in me.”
Itadori is already throwing on his shoes and shutting the door behind him as he begins to trail after her. “I’m not really a big coffee guy, you think they have tea?”
She scrunches her nose at him, “Ew, grow up.”
“Hey!”
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Itadori first confessed to her under the dim ambience of the streetlights. The rain earlier left the roads wet which Itadori wasn’t a fan of. Unfortunately, despite the weather, a convenience store trip was in order. After Inumaki and Panda raided the fridge for a cooking competition (that ended in a mess that Gojo-sensei forced everyone to clean up) they were left with a handful of fruit.
He was holding two bags, one filled to the brim with different types of chips and the other with assorted essentials like apples, flour, and a stick of butter Megumi requested for his baking hobby.
Up ahead, Nobara was clad in a bright blue jacket and cute jean shorts carrying food of her own. There was an unfamiliar look of serenity on her face as she mapped through the puddled sidewalk humming a melody Itadori couldn’t recognize.
He couldn’t help but think, ah she’s beautiful today too.
As he got to know her more and more, he realized there was something about her that he couldn’t pinpoint. It was as though there was some affection that seemed as though it was wired through his fingertips and threaded into his heart. An acknowledgment that was fostered from the start of time. Even now, Itadori couldn’t say for sure why she was his definition of beauty.
Perhaps it was the fact he didn’t tell her. Maybe his conscience was scratching at him to compliment her. It was probably some instinct he was missing, he never really wanted to press any boundaries or make things weird.
But, what the hell. It’s Nobara after all.
“Kugisaki,” he starts hesitantly, already feeling some of his confidence diminish. Man, this could be really awkward. But, Itadori was a man, and he wouldn’t shy away from complimenting his friend.
Nobara peeks at him through her peripheral vision, offering him a small smile, “Yes, Itadori?”
“You’re probably the prettiest girl I’ve ever met.”
She pauses in her tracks, and Itadori waits for her response in anticipation. He was half expecting her to respond with a smirk and tease him with words along the lines of, “You’re just realizing that now?”
Instead, she says, “You really think so?”
She wasn’t making eye contact anymore. Regardless, Itadori doesn’t hesitate when he swears, “Yes.”
The silence hung in the air for a second before he caught the trace of a grin tracing her lips, “Even above Jennifer Lawrence?”
Itadori laughs.
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“Yuuji, put that back,” he hears the dangerous hiss of none other than the resident reality tv show connoisseur. In the past few days alone, Itadori has watched more bitch slaps and first dates, which admittedly gave him a lot of secondhand embarrassment, than he had in his entire life.
He smirks teasingly. “Or what?” he says, hands outstretched to the ceiling. He craves his neck upwards to read out of the book, the words appearing faint until he makes out, “He comes infinitely closer, and I feel my breath hitch in my throat.”
“Stop,” she shrieks, cheeks red from embarrassment. Itadori is amused watching her jump trying to snatch back the romance book she had left in the common room. The title: “Dominating my Villain Boyfriend” caught his eye and he was in disbelief. Nobara was into this stuff? Honestly, he didn’t really care about her tastes, Nobara was Nobara. That didn’t mean he wouldn’t have fun though.
He grins at Nobara, “Do you have a punishment kink?”
That had done it. Crimson had bloomed on her cheeks, and if she hadn’t been blushing before she definitely was now. The urge to tease her, even more, had grown. Itadori doesn’t notice the book gently being tugged out of his grip, and he pouts when he turns to see Megumi with an eyebrow raised.
“Meeeegumi,” he whines, “Give it back I was having so much fun making fun of Nobara.”
He gives Itadori a stern look and nods behind him. Itadori turns only to have his blood run cold.
Was she…
“Nobara are you-“
“Shut up,” she hisses through gritted teeth. Grabbing the book Megumi is outstretched to her, she wipes away the stray tears flowing down her cheek and stomps away.
He stood there frozen.
Did he just upset her?
“Nice Yuuji,” he hears Megumi gruffly say. But, the words barely registered for him. Itadori was stunned. In all of the, albeit short, time that he has known Nobara, he had never seen her look genuinely mad about something. Guilt coiled in his stomach immediately. Was she that embarrassed by the book?
“I didn’t mean to-“
Megumi sighs, pinching the skin between his brows, and says, “Go apologize Yuuji.”
The black-haired teenager watched as his friend deflated like a balloon. He could practically see the drooping puppy ears and he resisted the urge to groan about how both of them were morons. Megumi gently flicks his forehead and gestures towards the direction Nobara had stomped off in.
Itadori very quickly snaps back into his senses and runs after her. He’s met with her back stomping away as he calls, “Hey! Kugisaki! Wait up. Hello, Nobara?”
Silence. That’s all he’s met with. Well, and also her visibly quickening her pace, trying to escape him. To no avail, of course, as he’s an athlete. She makes her way into one of the common rooms and flops on the couch and buries her face in her legs.
“Hey Nobara,” he calls. When she doesn’t even budge he kneels in front of her and looks up. He lowers his voice to a gentle whisper, “Nobara. I’m sorry. I didn’t think it would make you upset.”
He still doesn’t get a response from her. Itadori purses his lips and then after a beat passes continues, “I hope you know, I would never judge you about anything. I mean, you’re my best- uh my friend. I don’t care about your likes and dislikes, well I mean, I guess unless it’s like killing people. That wouldn’t be good. Anyway, I only care about you. You’re you, and that’s what’s important to me.”
“Come on Nobara, show me your face, pretty please?” there's a slight begging tone in his voice.
At first, there’s no movement and Itadori is near deflating again. He’s already planning some food to buy Nobara to try and cheer her up. Then, he sees her peek through her arms. When he sees light red under eyes, his heart breaks.
“Hi,” he says softly.
She whispers, “That was mean.”
“I know, I’m sorry,” he immediately apologizes. Nobara slowly rears her head up, like a cat emerging from hiding. When she reveals her face Itadori sighs, “Oh Nobara.”
He reaches out slowly and rubs his thumb under her eye to get rid of the stray tears. She doesn’t lean into the touch, but she doesn’t move away either. Instead, she mulls quietly, “This is kind of embarrassing.”
“Why Nobara?” Itadori was appalled. She literally did nothing wrong.
“Um,” she hesitates for a second. But, then she looks into Itadori’s honest eyes and something in her melts. A quiet admission slips, “I kind of get sensitive about these things. I try not to let it get to me, but sometimes, I just crack.”
“That’s okay,” he immediately says, “Nobara it’s okay to be hurt. I was wrong. And anyone who hurts you, let me know and I’ll beat them up, even if it’s me.”
That gets a snort out of her and a smile makes its way to Itadori’s face.
“Can I get a hug,” Itadori asks, outstretching his arms. Nobara inspects him with a scrunched nose. But, Itadori was patient. Eventually, she says, “Okay,” and wraps her arms around his neck. His immediately come to gently pat her back.
“Well, good to see you guys made up.”
The two nearly flinch when they hear the voice, and look up to see Megumi leaning against the doorframe. He narrows his eyes at the sight of Nobara’s eyes rimmed. Pushing himself off the wall, he strolls over and ruffles Nobara’s hair, voice uncharacteristically soft when he says, “You good?”
She nods, giving Megumi a soft smile. He offers one back in return.
Itadori didn’t know this then, but Nobara told him later that this was one of the moments when she truly felt like they were family. It's a moment Itadori replays in his mind every time he tries to sleep.
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His second confession was in the quiet homeroom of their class. Itadori had plopped himself on a desk in front of Nobara as she scrolled through some online boutiques. They were currently waiting for Megumi to arrive so they could proceed to their movie night at 2:30 pm sharp. But, he was late as usual - probably trying to fix each individual spike on his head (that joke made Nobara snort.)
The second years happened to be outside sparring, and Itadori’s current subject of entertainment. Maki was clearly getting into her battle headspace. Her movements were only getting more precise and deadly. Inumaki and Panda? Not so much. They were lazing around on the grass watching Maki as she trained with the dummy.
He scrunches his nose, “Do you think Inumaki-senpai and Panda-senpai will get caught?”
“I don’t know, but if they do I hope we get to see them get their butts handed to them,” she half smirks, looking up at him through her eyelashes.
When Itadori chuckles, Nobara stares at him. For a second, he thinks maybe he had some leftover crumbs on his face but her demeanor shifts to a tiny frown which is ultimately worse.
She finally says, “What’s the deal with Sukuna? Don’t think I didn’t notice you’ve been off.”
For a moment he stills. To be frank, he was surprised she even noticed. He’s been trying to keep it under wraps lately, because well, he didn’t exactly want to announce that oh yeah Sukuna is getting stronger by the day and likes to torment me when I try to sleep. It’s led to a lot of sleepless nights. Nothing he isn’t used to though, so he doesn’t want to complain. Many days were spent pulling all-nighters at the hospital with his grandfather.
He sheepishly rubs the back of his neck and says, “Don’t worry Nobara, just some rough patches is all.”
She cocks an eyebrow, “I hope you don’t take me for an idiot.”
He purses his lips. Ah shit. That was Nobara’s angry tone. He really didn’t like getting her mad.
“Thank you Nobara, really, but it’s fine. Nothing I can’t handle,” he insists.
Her facial expression softens and she looks out the window again and gruffly responds, “I know you can take care of yourself. I’m just worried.”
Itadori smiles so brightly Nobara nearly gets blinded again and has to shade her eyes with her hand. God, was he made out of star material or something? Well, actually he probably was considering this is Yuuji she’s talking about.
“Thank you Nobara,” Itadori pauses before reluctantly continuing, “I have a question. Kind of random though.”
She gives an affirming nod, “Shoot.”
Itadoris hand rests under his chin as he proposes, “Do you think Gojo-sensei feels burdened?”
Nobara cocks a perfectly trimmed eyebrow. Leaning back in her chair she says, “What makes you say that?”
There’s a frustrated look that consumes Itadori, like words that have been lodged in his throat for too long erupting without any coherent thought. It was as though there was an itch untreated, a cut yet bandaged, and Itadori couldn’t help but try and seek what he was looking for.
“I guess I’m just worried - that this whole Sukuna thing is taking too much of a toll on him. He’s already got all these jobs and he’s the strongest so they’ve always got him doing something.”
Finger-tapping noises echo in the classroom. What follows is Nobara harshly refuting him, “Don’t be ridiculous Yuuji, you could never be a burden. Not to us, not to anyone, and sure as hell not to Gojo sensei who practically has the world at his feet.”
He purses his lips, “I don’t know. Sometimes I feel like he carries the weight of the world on his shoulders instead of having it at his feet.”
“Tomato tomato,” she gently puts her hand on his shoulder and lowers her voice to a soothing tone, “Hey listen, Gojo sensei is an adult. If there was something wrong he could handle it himself. I know it’s harsh, and kind of insensitive but you can’t blame yourself for something that was out of your control. You didn’t exactly decide to enter the Jujutsu world. It just happened.”
Itadori finds himself nodding. What she was saying was making sense. Yet, a part of him felt guilty regardless.
“Thanks, Nobara,” he then adds quickly, ears tinging red, “You’re like the sister I never had”
“I love you too, Yuuji.”
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Itadori liked to think he was a positive person, a cup-half-full kind of guy. Even so, he felt the most morbid thoughts creeping up his spine and snatching him by the throat. He felt hollow, defeated, and heartbroken all at once.
Junpei, he was there one second, alive and full of youthlike dreams, only for it to be shattered like he never mattered in the first place. Like his existence was inferior in some sick way. And Mahito, oh God, Mahito. He just looked at Junpei like he was a pest, like he was just a bug to step on. In his eyes he wasn’t even human.
He was a failure. He failed his friend. He failed his goal. Hell, he even failed to keep his emotions in check, one of the only goals he set for himself after Maki senpai confided in him about how hard his death had hit Nobara and Megumi.
In his depressive haze, he didn’t hear the sound of the door opening nor the sensation of the dip in the couch beside him. His face was occupied in his hands in an attempt to shield him from reality. Fuck, he was having a hard time even processing his thoughts. Subconsciously he just wanted to push all of it to the side and forget that he ever did this to him.
“Hey,” he hears a sympathetic note in the speaker's voice that he dreaded, “Are you okay?”
He couldn’t even say anything. When he tried to open his mouth, it was parched. Suddenly, his voice just wouldn’t come out. If he tried, he just knew he would cry.
“Itadori,” now it turned more stern, “It wasn’t your fault.”
He feels her head lean against his shoulder, and he tenses up slightly. Warm liquid slips down his cheek and ah he’s crying. Suddenly it flows, like a river with no end, a dream that is never fulfilled. Junpei comes to mind again and he chokes a sob.
Arms wrap around him tightly and his cries become more audible. Nobara just lets Itadori cry it all out.
“Why him, ‘Bara? He did nothing wrong,” his voice croaks into a whisper, “He did nothing wrong.”
“I know,” he could see her face in his head clearly, contorted with pain. Nobara had always been more empathetic than she let on. “There’s nothing you could’ve done, Yuuji. You did everything you could.”
“It doesn’t feel like enough,” he admits.
“It will never feel like enough, even if you did everything in the world right, which you did. We will get Mahito. We will make him pay for what he did,” she announces. When Nobara set her mind to something, she would accomplish it. It was one of the many things Itadori loved and admired about his friend.
“Okay.”
He wipes his tears away, and Nobara doesn’t let go.
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Itadori never understood the flowery language people used to describe people they loved. He was very simple in explaining his affection. Nobara in particular, felt like sitting by a warm fire. At first, he soaked in all of the sparks, the flames, the heat. Soon, he was entranced, and he found he soon made a home out of the blaze.
She was the person he could always come to after a long day. The person who would flick his forehead only to excuse herself to grab his and Megumi’s favourite drinks from the vending machine. The most thoughtful, beautiful, and kind woman he has ever had the pleasure of knowing. Suddenly, the glow and familiarity of their first encounter made perfect sense. Without question, she must be one of those special people grandpa told him about.
But for the first time in Itadori’s life, he was completely and utterly terrified. He could feel his heart in his throat as he fought side by side with Nobara. This could be it, the long-awaited revenge against Mahito they both craved.
Itadori had never believed in God before. Sure, he was a part of the occult club but his grandfather raised him an atheist. He’d always been a cynical man, preaching there was no way a higher power existed after what happened to Itadori’s parents. Even despite that he begged and pleaded to God, please let her be safe. Not her, anything but her.
Then, it happened. It all felt like a blur. He did something to her and then Nobara’s face swelled. She said something to him, it wasn’t so bad. Within the blink of an eye, she exploded.
That couldn’t be Nobara on the floor, no, it wasn’t his Nobara. She was going to win this battle with him. They were going to plan their trip with Megumi.
Itadori leaned down to clutch Nobara against his body and whimpered helplessly. Her face, her beautiful face. She was bleeding so much.
“Nobara, Nobara please. Get up.”
He shakes her in his arms and it all feels so wrong. She’s so cold, she shouldn’t be this cold. There’s so much blood. Why is she not moving? Why is the world quiet? Why couldn’t it be screaming to bring her back? Why was she leaving? Who made that decision? Where was God when he begged him?
“I love you,” he repeats again and again, as though each time he said it would send air into her lungs and bring her back to life.
Itadori realized he was sobbing now. He cradled her head so gently into the crook of his neck and kissed her forehead.
He felt every emotion flood into him: grief, sadness, fury. The next minutes were like a foggy dream. For some reason, Mahito gave him those few moments with Nobara, likely for his disgusting sadistic pleasure: like how he taunted him with Junpei. From then on, he battled with Mahito furiously, and at some point, Todo joins and continues to battle through. Itadori realized he couldn’t even process what just happened because the fights just wouldn’t stop. Soon, faux Geto got involved and the battlefield was getting bloodier by the minute. Time felt like it was fake like it was some sort of invention. He couldn’t perceive it, hell, he didn’t even feel like his body was his own.
And when it was finally over, he still wasn’t all fully there. It took some small shakes from Megumi to bring him back to Earth. When he did, tears immediately started rolling down his cheeks.
“Nanamin- he- and my God Nobara, where is she, where’s our Nobara, ‘Gumi?”
“Calm down,” he says as he gently hugs Itadori who hyperventilates into his chest. “She's getting treated right now.”
“Is she going to be okay? Please Megumi,” he grips his shirt, searching his eyes for some sort of answer. He finds none, only a pained expression like he is barely holding on to his own mind.
“I don’t know,” his voice lowers to a whisper, “Yuuji, I’m-“
“No,” Itadori cuts him off, “Don’t say it, she has to be alive. She just- she just has to. I can’t lose everyone. Not Nanamin, not sensei, oh God sensei, I’ve failed them all.”
“You didn’t. You were so brave,” he hears Megumi’s voice crack.
So they wait.
And they wait.
There is no answer, no confirmation, no indication that she lived or died. Only that she was not with them anymore.
In those days, Itadori became friendly with his wall. He would stare at it and let all the horrible, malicious voices taunt him in his head. One of those belonged to Sukuna, who was thrilled to see him so defeated. He couldn’t even bring himself to respond to Sukuna’s mocking. He could only stare and stare.
He would find himself going back to the first day they met, and tracing through his emotions like a map. Sometimes he wondered why she was so special from the get-go (why she felt like she had already had a place in his heart before they even met). But now, the answer was so utterly clear.
A tear slipped down his cheek, and the moon that was keeping him company frowned in pity.
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Beyond Itadori was a plain empty field. It stretched miles and miles and seemed to never end. Although barely, he could make out the glitching figures ahead of him.
“Nanamin?” he whispers, as though if he spoke loudly he’d disappear. Why was he here? Wasn’t he going on some business trip?
“Hello Yuuji, you need to wake up,” he says cooly.
Itadori shakes his head in disbelief, “What do you mean Nanamin?”
Flowers begin to sprout from the ground and he feels a familiar whisper in his ear, “Wake up Itadori.”
He turns to see Gojo sensei, without his blindfold, with the biggest smile he’s ever seen. There was something wrong but Itadori just didn’t know what.
When he faces forward he sees Nobara and his face stretches to a grin. “‘Bara!” He pads up to her and she smiles back at him. The sight makes his heart melt. She looked so truly happy. Somehow just the sight of her lit up the entire area. Not that he was surprised, she always had that contagious power.
“You did it, Itadori,” she put her hand on his shoulder.
“Did what?” Confusion overtook him. Why was everyone being so cryptic?
“You did so well, Itadori. But, now it’s time to wake up,” she squeezes his shoulder. Suddenly, the entire landscape begins collapsing in on itself. The array of tulips and roses begin to wilt and the field, God the field, it begins rolling in like a carpet.
“Wake up.”
Itadori shoots up from his bed, unable to register what was going on for a second. His eyes darted around his surroundings to make sense of everything. Closed curtains, okay, but there was still chirping of birds. Wait, why were they there? Something was wrong, what was it again?
The realization hit him like a train.
Oh, he remembered.
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“Hey Nobara?” Itadori asks. He found comfort in the corner of her room as she polished her tools at her desk. The afternoon light illuminated her focused face, and he simply watched her from his spot on her bed. Her room was decorated rather modestly compared to what one would imagine. She had very simple decorations; a nice bed, a plain table, and wooden chairs. What really stood out were her walls. Brandishing every possible surface were pictures she took on her camera of every moment. He focused his attention on the first one he saw. Ah, it was Megumi and Itadori throwing flour at each other.
“Yes Yuuji?”
He purses his lips, hesitant to even verbalize his fears. A part of him believed if he said it out loud, it would come true. How silly. He had never been the superstitious type.
“What if, what if one of us doesn’t make it someday?” his voice drops.
She pauses from her place on her desk. He traces the furrow of her eyebrows with his vision, down the slope of her nose to the slight downturn of her lips.
“Don’t say that,” she responds rather gruffly, “We will be fine Yuuji.”
“But, what if-”
She spins around in her chair and crosses her arms, cocking an eyebrow at him. Itadori almost immediately curls into himself, as if she was a teacher about to put him in timeout. “What, don’t have faith in me?”
“No,” he doesn’t waste a second refuting, “You are the strongest woman I know. I’m just, worried I guess. Paranoid.”
Her gaze immediately softens. Ah, crap, he didn’t intend to make her pity him. Sukuna’s chuckle reverberated in his skull, and suddenly the urge to just rip his own brain out grew ever stronger. Damn bastard, he never left him alone, did he?
“Listen Yuuji,” with her legs she moves her chair closer to the edge of the bed where Itadori was sitting. Looking him deep in the eyes she claims, “I won’t ever die. At least, not before you. Okay?”
“Do you promise?”
“I promise.”