Chapter Text
Steve
It was over.
Really, truly over. Vecna was dead. The gate between Hawkins and the Upside Down was permanently closed. There would be no more monsters, no more possessions. El and Will said they could sense it, this final, permanent closure. And weirdly, Steve felt like he could sense it too. Hawkins felt oddly…quiet. Like a background hum that he hadn’t been fully aware of had been silenced. Unlike the previous times, he had started to believe that they were finally done with the Upside Down.
It was nice. Nice not to worry. When Max was late when he went to drive her to the arcade, Steve could wonder if she’d forgotten to set her alarm again, rather than if he was going to find her in some fucked-up Vecna trance. When Dustin didn’t stop by Family Video on Saturday, Steve could roll his eyes thinking about how he was probably chatting with Suzie, rather than contemplate what mysterious monster Dustin might be trying to track down. When Robin missed a phone call, his brain didn’t instantly start imagining her with all her bones snapped. Hawkins was back to the way it was before: peaceful, safe, boring.
Steve knew he should be happy.
Everyone else seemed happy, or at least getting back to being happy. Nancy and Jonathan had had a long chat and seemed to have worked out their relationship. They weren’t going to Emerson together, but Jonathan had accepted a scholarship NYU (Dr. Owens, it turns out, was an NYU alum) and Nancy had told Steve that she was already figuring out how often she could visit him in New York. Max had finally been freed from her casts and was adjusting to her coke-bottle glasses. Her and Lucas were back together, as were Mike and El. Joyce, Will, and El were happily returned to Hawkins, moved in with Hopper. Robin was buzzing about her admission to the University of Chicago for the fall.
Dustin had had the hardest time, Steve could tell. The loss of Eddie hit him hard. The first month after it happened, Dustin had spent almost every minute he wasn’t in school at Family Video, avoiding everyone but Steve. Slowly, though, he had begun to recover. He’d re-formed Hellfire Club (under a new name), returned to Camp Know Where for a second year. And now in the later part of summer, he seemed to be happy too, enjoying the carefree weeks of ice cream and matinees.
Steve should be happy. He was happy, actually. Happy to have Dustin smiling and joking with him again, happy to see Max back on her skateboard, happy to hear Robin rave to him about Chicago’s art museums. Steve wasn’t an asshole, he was happy to see his friends finally get some good luck, because they deserved it. He was happy for them.
He tried not to think about himself too much.
—
Robin
“Can we watch The Philadelphia Story? You know I love Katharine Hepburn.”
“What? Oh, yeah, sure.” Steve said distractedly. Robin looked back at him. He was staring into space, his brow furrowed as if he were worried about something. He’d seemed a little out of it all day, although knowing Steve he was probably just spacing. Though come to think of it, he’d been like this a lot recently.
“What’s up with you?” she asked, hopping up to sit on the counter. It was Monday. No one ever came in on Monday, except maybe Steve’s children, and he had told her they were all at the movie theater today.
“Nothing,” Steve said, but then he paused, biting his lip. Robin resisted the urge to immediately fill the silence with rambling. She was working on that. Steve looked down, finger picking at a sticky spot on the counter, before he finally continued: “Do you think I could be a good teacher, maybe? You know, like as a job.”
Robin snorted. “Oh my god, can you imagine you as a teacher? Your students would probably end up thinking that two plus two is five or something,” said Robin, laughing. She turned to Steve, expecting him to join in the joke, but she suddenly saw he wasn’t smiling. A look of hurt flashed across his face. Robin immediately felt guilty. “Hey, are you being serious? I wasn’t trying to–”
“No, no, it’s dumb, like you said,” said Steve, quickly smiling and laughing. “I’d be worse than Mrs. Click. Anyway, it’s only been like a year since I graduated and I barely remember anything from school. I’d be useless.” Steve straightened up. “You wanted to watch Philadelphia Something? We should do that.”
“The Philadelphia Story, dingus,” said Robin, relieved to drop back into their normal banter. She grabbed the tape and loaded it into the player. As it started, she glanced back over at Steve. He had the same distant, unhappy look from earlier. “Hey, Steve?” Robin asked quietly “I didn’t mean to be mean. I think if you wanted to be a teacher that would be great! I just was surprised–”
“It’s fine, Robin,” said Steve sharply. “It’s dumb, like you said. I just had a random thought. I wasn’t being serious.” He looked back at the TV screen, though Robin felt he was only pretending to watch.
They closed up Family Video together late that night, and Robin climbed into Steve’s BMW for the ride home. Steve was still being quieter than normal. “You know I finally found out my roommate for the fall?” said Robin, trying to break the silence.
“Yeah?” said Steve, staring at the road. “That’s awesome, who is it?”
“Her name’s Isabella Martinez, she’s from New Mexico, I think,” Robin bubbled. “Do you think maybe she speaks Spanish? Cause I would love to practice with her, but I don’t want to force her to practice with me, if that makes sense. They didn’t tell me much about her but I think she’s going to study literature? Which would be awesome because I love talking about books…” Robin could feel herself starting to ramble a bit again.
“No, that’ll be cool. I bet you guys will be really great friends.” Steve was smiling, but there was a bit of strain in his voice.
“What’s wrong, Steve?” she asked, genuinely worried.
“Nothing! Nothing, Robin, seriously, I’m fine.” Steve turned and looked at her. “Really. I’m super happy for you, Buckley.” That part sounded sincere.
Robin smiled. “Thanks, dingus.” They’d reached her house. “Pick me up tomorrow?”
“You better be on time this time,” said Steve, “Or I’m letting you walk.” Robin gave him the finger as she climbed out of the car.
—-
Steve
As he unlocked his front door, he felt annoyed with himself. Why couldn’t he just be happy for her? Was he really so selfish that he wished for his best friend to get stuck in a town she hated? Yes, said a quiet voice in the back of his mind. Yes, because you’re an asshole. Because you want her to be a miserable loser like you, Harrington.
“Shut up,” he said aloud under his breath. Of course there was nobody there to hear it. His parents were out of town again.
He made his way to the kitchen and opened a can of tomato soup. As it heated on the stove, he tapped his fingers on the counter and thought about Robin.
He could picture her in her Chicago dorm room, just a few months from now, chatting in Spanish with some pretty lit major. Riding the train to the art museum with a big group of friends who wore dark clothes and rolled their own cigarettes. Watching the kind of movies Robin liked, except maybe her new friends would have interesting things to say about them. Dating girls. Going to classes and listening to serious professors talk about thick books that Steve could never finish in high school. Being happy.
He couldn’t picture her wanting to call him, the idiot co-worker who she’d gotten stuck with because of the one summer where they worked at an ice cream shop in a now burned-down mall. He couldn’t see her wanting to come visit the town where everyone had shunned her, or wanting him to visit her in Chicago. He couldn’t imagine being able to say anything interesting to her new friends, or looking like anything but a dumb hick in front of them. In a few months, Robin would be a college student, and he’d be the dumbass who barely got a job at Family Video. Robin put up with him now, but he knew that she had limited options in Hawkins. Once she had more choices, he couldn’t imagine her sticking around.
But that was life, right? Sometimes the people you love don’t love you back. They don’t always stick around. He looked around his quiet, empty house. Even his parents didn’t stick around: why should he expect Robin to do that? If he was a good friend, he wouldn’t ruin this for her. He wouldn’t try to make her feel guilty about the best moment in her life.
When the soup started to bubble, he pulled the pot off the stove and grabbed a spoon. He never bothered with bowls, just more dishes. As he started on his dinner, he made a promise to himself that he wouldn’t say anything to ruin Robin’s excitement.
If he was going to lose her forever, he could at least end it right.