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To quarians, it was just another day on Rannoch. To me, however, it was the most wonderful time of the year.
Ever since I was a kid, I had loved Christmas. It was one of the few opportunities where I got to spend time with my parents, when they weren’t getting bogged down by their Alliance responsibilities. When we could, we would get on a transport to Earth and spend the season with our Earthbound family. It would be the only time of year where I actually got to see my cousins, aunts, and uncles. We would spend hours talking and catching up, celebrate with a traditional Christmas dinner, and end the night exchanging gifts. These were some of my fondest childhood memories.
That love for Christmas remains, even now, but carries even greater importance. Two Christmas’ ago, I was pulled out of the rubble of what remained of the Citadel after the Crucible explosion. Rescued by my guardian angel herself, descending from the very heavens upon receiving my distress signal. A true Christmas miracle. Not the greatest way to spend your first Christmas as a couple, but then again, when have me and Tali ever been a standard couple?
And last Christmas, we finally moved into our brand new home. A small, but perfect, house overlooking one of Rannoch’s oceans. It was then when I asked my beautiful saera, Tali’Zorah, if she would become Tali’Shepard, presenting her with a pal’tec vis surden, as was customary among her people. Tali did not tell me her answer, but rather decided to drag me upstairs into our bedroom to show me what her answer was…which she did multiple times that night.
So yes, Christmas has always been very special. There was just one thing about the holiday that I particularly loathed…the music.
For songs that only got played during this time of year, they sure did overplay the same ones over and over and over again. Doesn’t matter if they were newer renditions, or versions that somehow remained popular almost 200 years later, there were only so many times I could hear how some woman only wanted me for Christmas before wishing the Reapers had killed me.
Thankfully, I had spared Tali from this vapid insult to music. And, thanks to being on Rannoch, I was as far away from any of that musical hell as I could get.
That being said, setting up decorations in our home with absolutely no music was pretty boring. After hanging up a wreath and stepping down from the step-stool, I turned back to Tali who was at the opposite end of the room.
Her back was to me as she was setting up some other decorations and lights to display in the bay window (such a wonderful view it provided…and I guess the window was also nice). However, there was something else that she was doing. The gentle tapping of her foot, the slight bopping of her head, and some light air drumming with her fingers, the telltale signs that there was something going on inside that helmet of hers.
I approach her and give her a slight tap on her shoulder. A slight jump from her as she did not hear me coming, she turns around to face me while clearly pausing the music she’s listening to on her omni-tool.
“Listening to anything good?” I ask.
“Was I being that obvious?”
I couldn’t help but give a small chuckle. “The cute head bopping and air drumming you were just doing, nooooooo, it was really subtle.”
Through the mask, I could see her glaring back before receiving a playful slap to my chest. “Ugh, you’ve been spending too much time with Garrus, that sarcastic bosh’tet.”
“Nah, I was always like this, it’s why me and him get along so well.” At this, we both share a quick laugh, but my curiosity had yet to be satiated. “Seriously though, what were you listening to?”
“Oh, um…j-just a quarian band, no-nothing else. You’ve never heard of them anyway.” Tali answers, practically rushing that last part out.
I raise an eyebrow at her. For whatever reason, she seemed uncomfortable. I had thought she had moved on from her shyness and stuttering years ago. “Well, why don’t you play it so both of us can hear. I could use something to listen to while I finish up over here.”
Yeah, something was bothering her, as her hands start twisting and playing with each other, a habit she had long given up on I thought. “Um, well, I don’t know about that John. I…I don’t really think you’ll like it.”
“Tali, I’ve heard the music you listen to, and I’ve enjoyed it. I don’t really see why this would be any different.”
It did not look like Tali was convinced. “This music is…a bit different. Not a lot of people, quarians included, are into it.”
Closing the distance between the two of us, I reach to grab her gloved hands, halting her fidgeting, and hold them in mine. “Tali, we are here, as husband and wife, celebrating a human holiday, on your people’s homeworld, in our house. I just figured that, since you and others have done so much to welcome me, we could maybe add some parts of quarian culture into this.”
Rubbing gentle circles along the fabric of her suit, but applying enough pressure for her to feel, I continue, “And even then, I never want you to feel like you need to hide anything from me. If it’s something you like, then that’s good enough reason for me.”
I could see the shape of Tali’s eyes go wide in surprise. “R-Really?”
“Of course, love.”
Her hands leave mine as she wraps her arms around the back of my neck, bringing my head down to her mask. We both close our eyes and just stay like that for a moment, before she pulls away. She opens up her omni-tool, connecting it to the speaker system we have in the home, and starts the song she was listening to from the beginning.
It was…not at all what I expected to hear.
Heavily distorted and screeching guitars, battering blast beats and rapid double bass from the drums, and thunderous bass lines start rattling the house. All of it put together by shoddy and unprofessional production quality that made it sound like it was recorded in someone’s basement in one take. These are the first things I hear when Tali’s music fills our home. And the stereo was practically on full volume.
And then, there came the “singing.” Something so guttural that I’m not sure if I just wasn’t understanding the words, or my translator failed to even pick it up.
“OUTHUGGGGG! EEEFFFFFOOOOOOO! MEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIII!
DOOOOOGGGGGG IIIIIGGHHH COOOOOBBIINNGG OOOOOUUUUUGGGHH!
KHLM! LKUSIJCNINVDIN JNINJDNVCML JFDUNFUNIGN!”
It sounded like a whale trying to hack up a hairball, I didn’t even know voices could go that low. Surely Tali was playing a joke on me, there was no way anyone could legitimately enjoy this.
Turns out, I was wrong. Tali, my my often anxious and slightly nerdy wife, who loves to cuddle up next to me on the couch and watch sappy romance vids, was far too busy banging her head along to the rhythm. Her hands were moving at a spastic pace trying to keep up with the song’s drums a speed he had only ever seen when she was typing at her terminal on the Normandy. And it looked like she was having a damn fun time with it.
Honestly, it had been a while since I’ve seen her look this relaxed. So many nights she had come home exhausted and/or exasperated. She would rant about Xen’s latest attempt to bring the geth back to life and under quarian control, or Koris’ drab and rambling reports of quarian resettlement on Rannoch, or Gerrel’s increasingly adversarial treatment towards the Admiralty Board’s youngest member, questioning her every action and making her job harder than it already was.
It was something she resented, it was a position she accepted but never wanted. And even now, with the war over and Rannoch theirs once again, she was still doing everything she could to help her people. Putting up with the admiralty’s constant bickering and thickheadedness, it was grinding on her, but she couldn’t just give up, it wasn’t in her nature.
It was one of the things that I loved about her, her endless compassion and love for those around her. But she always took it too far, often forgetting about her needs in the process and not giving enough time for herself. Here though, right now, she didn’t have a care in the world. That alone was enough for me. If this is what she needed to blow off some steam, then by all means, she can go right ahead.
After a few minutes, the song (thankfully) came to an end. Tali tapped the pause button on her omni-tool, giving me a second to recompose myself before she turned to back to me. Curiosity in her eyes, she asked pensively “So, what did you think?”
An unforced smile forms on my face. “That was…admittedly, not something I expected from you, but you looked like you were having fun. What was it?”
“Oh, right, I didn’t tell you the name” Tali enthusiastically responds, a sharp contrast from how she acted earlier. “That was Barbarian Cadaver’s signature song, ‘Hammer Smashed Helmet.’ It was written by their lead singer, Suitgrinder. You see, back when the band first started out, he was inspired to write it…”
I just stood there and nodded along, listening as my wife went over (thoroughly) the entire band’s history and discography, what her favorite songs and albums are, and the one time she even got to see them in concert.
Apparently, some of the kids on the flotilla had often mocked her over her music taste when she was younger. Teased her, didn’t want to be associated with her, even bullied her. Apparently being an admiral’s daughter doesn’t make you less of a target. She had said it never bothered her, that the alone time allowed her to focus on becoming a better engineer, but I could tell there was some sadness in her eyes. The mask couldn’t hide everything.
We ended up finishing the decorations while listening to the rest of the album. The songs were often repetitive, the quality of the album did not improve, and I still could not understand a single word that was said.
And I loved every single second of it, if it meant that it made my Tali happy.
Besides, it was STILL better than Christmas music.