Work Text:
“Alright, chat, as you can see I pinned a camera to my jacket. Downside of this is that I have to actually button up my jacket now but-”
halfmasked: you should pin it to your bare chest
kiralover: YES
ranboos: that’d be funny
dreamismymeowmeowuwu: BARE CHEST BARE CHEST BARE CHEST
someones: wouldn’t that hurt
replying to dreamismymeowmeowuwu
junkolover: tf is that username
“Chat, chat- I will not pin a fucking camera-”
cammysammy: what kind of camera is it anyways?
“It’s in one of those flowers that usually squirt water at you. Toei made it.”
Akira stops to pet a Lillipup before going on his way.
“What’s with that dorky flower, big brother?”
“It’s for a twitch stream, my viewers-”
onichan: HAHAHAHAHA
kaoris: as kaori irl i approve this message
kidshaker: pathetic meow meow twitch streamer
yoshiyukis: dork.
“-Shut up, chat, it was Toei’s idea to make it a flower-”
Kaori giggles.
“... Nope! Fuck this shit.”
The screen flashes red-
skyhighchibi: WHAT THE FUCK
cheeseandcake: what the-
kungpowpenis: huh!??!?!?
“-Oh, right, you don’t know I can universe travel. Well, I can, so shut up.” Out of the corner of his eye, he sees- “Holy shit, it’s the kid from that one fucking pokestar movie!”
mangoballs: KATO YOSHIYUKI?!?!?!?
halfmasked: is F-00 there!??!
halfmasked: please for my peace of mind please be a universe where F-00 is ok
rogerrr: WHAT THE FUCK
sodabops: KATO KATO KATO
halfmasked: IS THAT F-00’S POKEBALL HE HAS???
ewes: kato yoshiyuki in real life
Kato sends out a familiar looking pokemon-
“CUBE!” Akira runs over to them, picks them up, and shakes them! “CUBE, FUCKING CUBE, YOU’RE A POKEMON?!?!”
ballmangos: DON’T SHAKE THE CHILD-
halfmasked: HE MADE *ANOTHER ROBOT*
halfmasked: OH MY GOD
mrclen: STOP SHAKING THEM
bopmusic: KATO IS GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU
halfmasked: AND IN A LUXURY BALL TOO
deer: shake them harder!
“YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU WERE A FUCKING POKEMON!!”
Cube, unable to speak, warbles in fear.
“Akira Tadokoro?” Kato says in shock. “Why…Why are you shaking my little one?”
“FUCK SHIT” Akira yells, before chucking Cube at Kato’s light brown face.
The screen flashes red.
sundowner: SUNDOWN KID
cuppytoast: wtf wtf the sundown kid is real
“Hi, Sundown!” Akira waves to him.
Sundown looks up from the table. “Akira, I think I might be a girl.”
“... What, no reaction from the cowboy who doesn’t even know what a mudsdale is?”
halfmasked: you didn’t shake him like you shook cube idiot
“...Oboro beat ya to it.”
marumaru: OBOROMARU ENMA IS REAL!?!?
toastcups: wtf wtf oboromaru enma is real
“Damn. Also I saw your gender when I read your mind. You’re bigender.”
Sundown says nothing and rests her head back on the table.
Akira walks off into another room, one with paintings on the walls and- DEAR GOD IT’S FUCKING HIM!
“YOU!” Akira grabs him by the collar of his shirt, and shakes him. “YOU, YOU, YOU, WHAT ARE YOU FUCKING DOING HERE-”
He cries pathetically and screams even patheticer.
stedfalls: kids shaken 2/?
cupoftoast: wtf wtf kidshaking is real
fallsteds: is this a kidshaking stream now?
“...What are ya doin’?” Sundown’s there again. “Hands offa Duskie.”
Akira throws him (Duskie. Odio) at the wall, and turns to look at Sundown-
gunguns: HE’S GOT A GUN
meltytoast: wtf wtf wtf
kidshaker: pathetic meow meow twitch streamer
kidshaker: i’ll gift 500 subs for every kid you shake
kidshaker gifted 1000 subs!
“Look, look, Sundown, we can talk about this, please don’t shoot me because I shook a guy really hard.”
“That’s my son, Akira.”
“Don’t shoot me-”
kidshaker: if you get shot and live i’ll gift 5000 subs.
“-Actually please shoot me! In the leg! Fuck your fucking worthless son and your-”
Bang!- but it wasn’t Sundown’s gun.
Akira turns to look at Odio. Odio is glaring at him with those red, red eyes, gun in hand.
Bang!- and this time it was-
“Sundown! I take that shittalk back! I only taunted you for twitch subscribers!”
“I don’t know what those are and I don’t want to know.” Sundown glares. “Leave. Now.”
The screen flashes red.
kidshaker gifted 10000 subs!
“Lemme explain my past actions, chat. The Odio myth is real, and-”
fallenhero: are you gonna shake a kid for every hero?
rainboos: wtf wtf odio is real
“Well-”
kidshaker: if you shake 7 kids i’ll give you 1000 subs as a bonus
“Hey, why are you talking to yourself, Akira?” Li walks over to him, an axew following her. “How did you even get here, anyways? I thought I was done with you once we beat Odio.”
“I have universe travel powers!”
“Cool. Do all of us have them, or just you-”
“All of us, I think.”
“Whelp. I have a leader to talk to.” Li then glows red and vanishes.
“Yep, that’s what it looks like when I travel universes, chat.”
kidshaker: 5 subs to kick the axew hard enough for it to fall over.
Akira takes a moment to kick Li’s axew facefirst into the ground before walking down the mountain. “Chat, I can’t leave yet, I need to shake a kid first.”
“Oh, hey!” A small boy waves, not having heard what Akira said. “Name’s Yuan Jou! I’m-”
Akira grabs Yuan by the collar and shakes him.
kidshaker: +50 subs for every kid you yeet after shaking.
kidshaker gifted 105 subs!
Akira chucks Yuan at the ground.
kidshaker gifted 550 subs!
The screen flashes red.
caveys: a freebie!
inniter: wtf wtf cavemen are real
Pogo is asleep with a baby in his arms.
kidshaker: +50 subs if you shake the baby. yes i know that will kill it i dont care
randomperson1: +500 if you don’t kill the baby. just remove it, place it down gently, and shake the guy holding it instead
Akira takes the baby and places it down. Then grabs Pogo by the chest- no collar of the shirt to shake him by- and shakes. Pogo wakes up and screams, and Akira chucks it at a wall before the screen flashes red.
justaguy: how many kids is it now, 4/7?
megazoomer: yeah
“Greetings, Akira.”
marulover: OBOROMARU ENMA OBOROMARU ENMA
irlmaru: wtf
“Hey, Oboromaru, do you have any kids?”
“No. The closest thing to a child in this house is dear O-Robo-”
“Do you know where it is?”
“Third door on the left.”
Akira shakes that robot until it explodes.
kidshaker gifted 1050 subs!
kidshaker: +500 b/c it exploded
randomperson1: what the fuck
“Yeah, I just committed a murder!”
Knock, knock! “Is O-Robo ok in there?”
The screen flashes red.
halfmasked: 5/7 LET’S GOOOOO
“Masaru, do you know where any kids are?”
“Oh, well, there’s a lot of them in the park playing this new game that just came out.” Masaru smiles, and holds up a Gameboy. “It’s called Pocket Monsters! There’s Red and Green versions- mine’s the Red version, and-”
“Is that a fucking charizard?”
“Huh? Well, it could be! I don’t know!”
After a talk about pokemon, Akira wanders over to the park, and shakes the first kid he sees, before yeeting them to the ground.
kidshaker gifted 550 subs!
The screen flashes red.
halfmasked: one left!
“Kaori, I need to shake you for twitch subscribers.”
“Big brother, shake Watanabe instead.”
Akira fucks off and runs over to Watanabe, shaking him furiously and chucking him at the ground.
Watanabe cries.
kidshaker gifted 1650 subs!
kidshaker: +50 because he cried, and then I remembered Duskie cried too, so…
randomperson1: what the fuck?
Suddenly, the camera jerks, as if Akira was grabbed.
Red fills the screen.
Odio. Odio is there.
hopelesshero: here lies akira he was an ok guy
boorains: wtf wtf odio is real
Odio grabs Akira by the shoulders- and shakes him, before tossing him onto the ground.
kidshaker gifted 5500 subs!
kidshaker: fuck. mistype
kidshaker gifted 49500 subs!
The screen is filled with black. Akira does not move. Akira does not speak.
halfmasked: well shit
halfmasked: he’s dead
Notes:
ah, poor akira. worse day and last of his poor little life.
Akira wakes up, safe in his bed.
kidshaker: ah you’re awake
kidshaker:we thought you’d never wake up
kidshaker: kaori put whipped cream on your face btw
Notes:
wooo twitch amirite? if akira were a streamer his chat would bully him
Extra Scene: get got motherfucker
Notes:
you see, I couldn't kill off akira. this scene needs him alive.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
halfmasked: we are the hate duskie squad
randomperson1: next time you see duskie
kidshaker: if you punch him in the face…
duskiehater: we will gift you 50 subs each!
The screen flashes red and Akira takes a swing at Duskie, socking him in the face.
He wails.
halfmasked: what the fuck
randomperson1: you actually did it
kidshaker: for a measly 200 subs
duskiehater gifted 450 subs!
duskiehater: extra cuz he cried