Work Text:
Rain has been waiting all year for this.
Technically, it’s only been half a year, less even if you actually sat down and counted the days between the moment Rain first met Ple at the registration booth on orientation day to now, where he’s finally built up the courage to confess his feelings to her after an entire semester of crushing so hard that even Sky is tired of hearing about how much he likes Ple.
(To be fair, Sky never wants to listen to anything Rain says anyway, so.)
It’s their faculty’s New Year’s Eve party and everyone’s been invited; from Rain’s freshman class who has yet to suffer through their first finals season, to the many alumni who have successfully graduated from their programme. Not only does it give them a chance to mingle around with other students, but it’s a nice way of getting to know more about their seniors and where they’ve all taken their careers after university.
That’s not what Rain is here for, though. It’s still a little early on in his architectural journey to be thinking so far ahead and he figures there’ll be plenty of opportunities to meet with these people again in the future, especially if events like this are a yearly occurrence, if not more often than that.
But with Ple, Rain might not get another chance.
After all, with how pretty and smart and nice Ple is, there are surely tons of other people who like her too, people who might also be looking to approach her tonight, so Rain has to make his move before it’s too late.
He’d planned it all out, or well, he’d tried, and then Sky told him that the rom-coms lied to him and no one in the world would actually want to be confessed to through a song. Rain didn’t believe him, because personally, he thinks he’d very much enjoy being confessed to through a song, what more if the person sang it to him themselves, but… In the end, Rain just decided to go along with Sky’s ‘foolproof’ version of the plan instead because he doesn’t want to risk messing things up with Ple this time.
Rain has a habit of doing that, he’s been told—messing things up, that is. It’s not like he does it on purpose, and he certainly doesn’t like it when things go the wrong way, but sometimes, that’s just how it turns out. No one else really gets that, though, so for tonight, he’d rather play it safe and keep things simple.
Right now, Rain is on one side of the hotel’s rooftop, the one overlooking the Chao Phraya, its waters glittering where it reflects the stars that are out tonight. He found a beautiful patio, with a little corner that would be perfect for a rooftop dinner for two, as if it’s been decorated just for him. Everyone else is on the other end, facing the city skyline, where they’d booked out the entire pool area to party and watch the fireworks display. One of their seniors is friends with the owner of this hotel, so he heard, so they had gotten a good price for it, on top of a special offer for any room in the building should anyone decide to stay the night.
Rain thinks about his confession going well, thinks about what he and Ple would do after, and he blushes, ducking his head out of embarrassment even though there’s no one else there.
No, Rain scolds himself, smacking the blood out of his own cheeks. It’s too soon!
He should at least take Ple out on a proper date first before thinking about doing anything of that sort. Sure, Rain’s never dated anyone before, but even he knows that’s how things should go, so tonight… He’ll settle for a kiss! That much should be okay, right?
They’d timed it well too, with Rain being here five minutes before the countdown, enough to say his piece just as the clock should strike midnight, and by now, as planned, Sky should’ve already asked Ple to come over to meet him, shooting off some vague excuse that Rain had something to talk to her about.
Sky is convincing; Rain believes in him.
Rain hears a click then, the door leading to the patio slowly opening and closing behind him, and he freezes. He doesn’t know why, but he just completely fucking freezes, arms locking where he’s been leaning over the glass railing, legs turning into grape jelly right where he stands.
Oh no.
Rain had a feeling this might happen. Even though he’d already practised everything he wanted to say to Ple a hundred times over so he wouldn’t forget or miss a word, even though he’d also made Sky roleplay the whole conversation with him so he would know where to put his hands and how he should smile and what tone of voice he should take, Rain still freezes, and he hates it.
This isn’t a presentation in class, where his friends can prompt him on his points if his brain suddenly goes blank, or a trip to the doctor’s, where his mother can speak on his behalf if he can’t explain why his head hurts and his mouth is dry and there’s a stupid, stupid buzzing in his ears that won’t go away.
Here, Rain is on his own.
Here, no one will step up for Rain but himself.
Rain takes a deep breath, willing his body to turn around, even for a second, but it doesn’t budge. Damn. He tries again, but if anything, his muscles have only tightened even more now, knuckles white where his fists are clenched into tense balls. His nails are probably going to leave marks on palms again.
Fuck it, Rain decides.
Time is running out and if he’s going to do this, he’s going to have to do it now. It isn’t ideal to confess to someone with your back turned to them, but as long as he gets his feelings across, that’s all that matters. Once he’s with Ple, he can give her a real confession every single day that they’re together if that’s what she wants. For now, this will have to do.
“Hi,” Rain starts, and he’s grateful that at the very least, his voice hasn’t failed him. He doesn’t know what he’d do if he wasn’t able to speak either. He would probably have to resort to some kind of interpretive dance just to tell a girl that he likes her. “I’m sorry I can’t face you right now, it’s just that I’m feeling a bit… shy.” Good save, Ai Rain! “But I have something important I want to tell you, so if you could just hear me out for a couple of minutes, I would really appreciate that.”
“Uh—”
“Please,” Rain insists. It’s already hard enough for him to do this; he doesn’t think he’ll ever find the guts to express his feelings again if Ple doesn’t give him a chance to say this now. “I really, really want to tell you.”
After a beat, there’s a soft sound of acknowledgement, a brief, “Mm,” that could mean anything at all, but it’s all Rain needs to push forward. It’s all Rain needs to go ahead and say:
“I like you.”
It isn’t grand, it isn’t flowery, and it definitely isn’t a pretty little love song that magically encapsulates everything he’s feeling right now, everything he’s been feeling the past few months, but it’s the best Rain can do.
“I’ve liked you since the first time I saw you. You wrote on your nametag right before I did, and when you passed me the marker, you told me to be careful because the ink was runny. Obviously, I wasn’t careful enough because I got it all over my hands, and you laughed when I sneezed and got it all over my face too.”
Rain laughs too as he recalls the scene, with Ple stifling her giggles as she pulled out some tissues, Sky shaking his head beside Rain, all while the innocent Sig became the next victim of the leaking marker and the two of them immediately became known as the clowns of this year’s Architecture batch.
“I gotta admit, that was the only time I accidentally made you laugh. All the other times since then have been on purpose, because…” Rain bites down a grin, suddenly glad that Ple can’t see his face right now. He probably looks like an idiot. “I think you’re really cute when you laugh. Even if it’s when I’m making a total fool of myself! If it’s you, I wouldn’t mind.”
There’s the sound of a shoe against the floor, as if Ple is moving towards him, and Rain feels his back straighten, pressure trickling in at the thought of her coming closer.
He manages a glance at his watch, and shit. Only one minute left now.
“That’s not the only reason, though,” Rain quickly says, speeding things up before he misses the countdown or Ple interrupts him—whichever comes first. “I also think you’re cute when you put your glasses on to draw, and I was really happy when you helped tutor me for our midterms, and it’s also super cool to see all the things you do for the student committee, like when you decorated our booth for the Activities Fair or when you volunteered to replace our faculty’s Star this year, even though I think it should’ve been you in the first place because you’re the prettiest girl in our class.”
Over on the other side, Rain notices the crowd getting louder and rowdier, eager for the last ten seconds of the year.
“I-In other words, I think you’re great, and I like you a lot, and I know that you might just see me as a friend, or maybe even just as a classmate, but I just really, really, really—”
The countdown starts, numbers being chanted in drunken unison, and Rain panics, feels an anxious wave surge up his throat, so when a hand lands on his shoulder, Rain’s immediate response is to grab it, turn, and pull Ple into a kiss, right as he hears:
“Happy New Year!”
It’s strange. Very strange. Rain has never kissed anyone before, but somehow, something about this kiss is so strange.
His eyes are squeezed shut so tight that he can’t even see inside of his own skull, and his hand is still holding onto the one that had touched him, but… Why is this hand bigger than his? And how come this person is taller than him? More importantly, what’s that creeping up his chest…
Rain’s hand smacks over whatever it is that just grabbed his left pec, letting go of the hand he was holding, and his eyes snap open in a frantic daze, finally meeting the gaze of the person standing in front of him.
“P… P… P…”
“Yes,” the man says with a smile. “I’m Pha—”
“You’re not Ple!”
His smile drops.
Rain jumps away.
“You’re not Ple,” Rain says again, with more grief, coming to the dreadful realisation that not only had he confessed to the wrong person, but he’d actually gone and fucking kissed him too! “Oh, this is bad, this is bad, this is so, so bad. Wasn’t this plan supposed to be foolproof, Ai Sky?!”
He can almost hear Sky tell him, Only a fool like you could mess up a foolproof plan like this, Ai Rain, and Rain shakes his head, tossing the image out of his mind with a scowl.
Firstly, how would he know he’d freeze up that badly, to the point that he was practically immobile for a whole five minutes? Secondly, it’s not his fault that it wasn’t Ple who came out here like he expected her to, and instead, it was this… this…
“Sorry, who are you again?”
The man’s expression has settled into one that’s about as unreadable as Rain’s textbooks on a Monday afternoon, and at Rain’s question, his brows arch up slightly, just slightly.
“That’s what I was about to…” He stops; backtracks. “No, hold on, you don’t know who I am?”
Rain squints at him, coming up blank. “Am I supposed to?”
For some reason, this guy just laughs, and Rain frowns. Despite what he’d said in his now-wasted confession, Rain doesn’t actually like being laughed at, especially not by strangers who don’t even know him and who clearly don’t understand that this is probably the single most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to him in his entire life.
Thinking about it like that, more than being upset or angry, Rain just feels… lame. This is the first time he’s liked someone enough to want to tell her about his feelings. He did so much to make this moment happen, he was so excited for this to happen, and now, it’s turned out like this.
Maybe Rain does mess everything up like people say he does.
Sighing, Rain brings his focus back to the unknown man, his mood completely ruined when he says, “Look, as you can probably tell, that confession wasn’t meant for you and I’m sorry for not checking that I was talking to the right person before I…”
He can’t bring himself to say it, to relive the fact that his first kiss was given to a total stranger, so he just coughs, waving a hand between their mouths to get his meaning across.
“You know? So…” Rain claps his hands together, flashing a tight-lipped smile as he starts to leave. “Yeah. I’m gonna go now. Enjoy the rest of your night and um, Happy New Year, I guess.”
He gets about three steps away when he feels a tug on his sleeve.
“Where are you going?”
Rain lazily glances back over his shoulder, head tilting in question.
The guy tugs again, until Rain is properly facing him, and he tells Rain, “You should look at people when they speak to you.”
“Oh,” Rain says, the pointed words hitting a slight nerve, and he nods, stiff, briefly meeting the man’s eyes before he has to avert his gaze. “Did you have something to say?”
The man hums, long and low, then—
“You stole my New Year’s kiss.”
With another smile, he asks Rain, “Aren’t you going to make it up to me?”
Rain is struck dumb. Stole. His. New. Year’s. Kiss?!
A flurry of heated words builds in Rain’s lungs, something that sounds like: Who the fuck cares about your New Year’s Kiss, huh?! I just lost my first ever kiss to some cocky asshole who’s kinda, sorta, probably the hottest guy I’ve seen in my life, but so what?! That kiss was supposed to be for Ple who’s still not here and I know Ai Sky wouldn’t have screwed things up on his end, so there must be another reason why Ple didn’t show up, like I don’t know, maybe she thinks I’m annoying or she hates me or she already has a boyfriend who she was happily kissing at midnight, or, or, or—damn it! This new year already sucks!
Silence fills the air, as quiet as it can be with endless fireworks exploding in the sky above them, and then Rain hears the man say, very slowly, “…That was your first kiss?”
“Shit,” Rain realises. “Did I say all that out loud?”
He just gets a helpless nod in return, and a furious blush threatens to rise in his cheeks, but Rain quickly stomps it out, huffing out a, “W-Well, yes, that was my first kiss, so if anyone should be making it up to anyone, it should be you making it up to me!”
Rain feels much better once he’s gotten that off his chest. Of course, he doesn’t actually mean it. He just doesn’t appreciate being made fun of and felt like venting his frustration a bit. Plus, since he’s the one who initiated that stupid kiss in the first place, Rain can’t exactly blame anyone but himself here, and he isn’t.
It was just an offhand comment in the spur of the moment, so why on earth is this man looking at Rain so seriously and saying, “I can do that.”
Rain: “…”
Rain: “?!”
Sputtering, Rain starts to say, “Wait, I was just joking, you don’t have to—”
“I’ll take responsibility for being your first kiss,” he insists, still dead serious, and Rain feels like crying. What the hell is up with this guy?!
“Okay,” Rain concedes weakly, deciding to just go along with this person’s whims for the time being. “And how are you going to do that?”
The man doesn’t answer right away, like he’s weighing his options, and Rain really doesn’t know whether he should be flattered that this guy is taking him into such careful consideration or concerned that his first kiss just had to go to someone so unusual.
After a while, Rain figures the man can’t come up with anything to say, no wonder, because taking responsibility for something like this is obviously an absurd idea in the first place.
But just as he’s about to tell the guy to forget about it, Rain hears him say:
“Let’s date.”
Rain blinks; taps his ears to make sure they’re not broken.
“Say that again?”
“Let’s date,” the man repeats, firm, no fuss. “Shouldn’t we?”
Shouldn’t we? Shouldn’t we?
“Isn’t the question supposed to be: why should we?!”
Rain is genuinely, genuinely confused as to what part of this entire exchange could lead this person to think that that should be the solution, of all things, and Rain tries to reason with him, saying, “Listen, I don’t know you. You don’t know me. Why in the world would you want to date me?”
“Isn’t that how things should go?” is the guy’s only answer, as if that justifies it. When Rain just stares back at him, speechless, he attempts to explain: “Well, earlier, you confessed to me—”
“I wasn’t confessing to you.”
“—then you kissed me—”
“That wasn’t for you either.”
“—so naturally, the next step is for us to date.”
One last firework goes off, and for a moment, the lights illuminate the man’s face; red and blue dancing across his cheeks, golden sparks flickering in his eyes, and Rain has to look away.
Fuck. Has it always been this hard for him to say no to a handsome guy?
Rain didn’t even know he could be into guys.
A gentle hand grips his chin, forcing his gaze back up, and with a voice so soft Rain can barely hear it over the sound of his pounding heart, the man says, “Didn’t I tell you to look at me when I’m speaking to you?”
Oh, Rain thinks, breathless. I could definitely be into guys.
“Sorry,” Rain chokes out after a minute, voice hoarse, and he has to physically step out of the man’s burning hold before he disintegrates into dust or something. “And thanks, for wanting to date me and take responsibility and stuff, but I–I meant it, you really don’t have to do anything like that. I wasn’t serious.”
“But I am,” the man says, and those three words alone are enough to tell Rain that he means it. He really is serious about this. “I don’t treat things like relationships lightly, and to be honest, well…” He coughs, rubbing his nose. “It wouldn’t be such a bad thing to date someone like me, you know?”
“…Hm?”
“I’ve been told I look quite good when I wear glasses, I could tutor you for every single exam you take until you graduate, I was the faculty and university Moon for my freshman year, and I was even the President of our student committee for three years in a row where I did a whole lot more for our faculty than just decorate an Activities Fair booth.”
Rain is rendered speechless by this person yet again. This… Is this guy bragging right now? No, that’s not right. Somehow, actually, it sounds more like he’s being kind of… petty?
“Lastly,” he adds, “I think I’m pretty cute when I laugh too.”
Rain’s jaw drops.
What the hell?
He doesn’t get a chance to process how fucking shameless this man is; doesn’t get to realise that, in a weird way, Rain might actually like it, because for the second time tonight, someone comes through the door, except this time, they’re saying:
“Rain, there you are!”
It’s Ple, a little late, but no less welcome, and instantly, Rain’s face lights up with a grin.
“Ple!” He waves, bouncing on his toes. “You’re here.”
She’s a bit out of breath, stopping to get some air, and she says, “Yeah, Sky told me to come meet you here a while ago, but I got caught in the crowd when the countdown started and I only managed to get out now.”
Hearing that, Rain feels a glimmer of hope.
So Ple was going to come see him? He still has a chance? That’s what he thinks, but before Rain can even tell her why he wanted to see her, Ple’s attention is caught by something else—no, someone else.
“Oh!” Her gaze lands on the person next to Rain. “P’Phayu, you’re here too?”
Dread fills Rain’s stomach.
Gulping, he asks, “Ple… You know him?”
“Hm?” She shoots a glance at Rain, giving him a smile that reads, Duh. “Of course I do, silly! P’Phayu is our senior, you know? He graduated last year and everyone in our faculty speaks so highly of him. Haven’t you heard of him, Rain?”
The name sounds familiar; Rain seems to recall Sky and Ple talking about him once, but he hadn’t paid much attention to the conversation, nor did he have a habit of listening to gossip around their faculty, so he just gives a vague nod.
It doesn’t matter anyway, because Ple’s focus is back on this P’Phayu, doe eyes practically sparkling when she looks up at him to say, “P’Phayu, I’ve heard so much about you, but you’re even more handsome in person!”
“Ah…” Phayu offers her a polite smile. “Thank you.”
“Actually, I was looking for you tonight, P’Phayu,” she says, sounding shy all of a sudden. “It’s just, I’ve admired you for so long now, and when I heard that you were coming to this party, I was hoping to talk to you, and I thought that maybe, if you wanted, we could’ve done the countdown together.”
Ple doesn’t say it outright, she’d be crazy to, but her meaning is clear to everyone here—
I wanted you to be my New Year’s kiss.
That dread in Rain’s gut turns cold, and it spreads through his body like ice, keeping him rooted in place; frozen, just like before.
So he didn’t have a chance with her, after all. It’s obvious in the way that Ple’s eyes haven’t left Phayu for a single second, like Rain isn’t even there, like Rain has never been there to her. He wants to laugh, but it seems like this time, even his voice won’t cooperate, the sound coming out more like a strangled sob instead.
Fucking pathetic.
It’s even worse because not only does Rain have to accept the fact that the girl he likes has never seen him the same way, but now, the stranger who was insane enough to want to be with Rain from just one kiss is probably going to forget about him too. I mean, it’s not like he was actually considering getting together with Phayu, but still, it was nice to feel wanted. Rain has never really felt that way before.
But with Ple in front of them like this, expressing her feelings so boldly, Phayu is bound to be swayed by her, isn’t he? If he could even be swayed by the troublesome Rain, what more by a wonderful girl like Ple?
Rain should just leave. He’s clearly not needed here anymore, so—
A finger hooks around his pinky where no one can see, and Rain looks up at Phayu.
“Phi…?”
“I’m sorry, Nong,” Phayu says then, still facing straight ahead as he tells Ple: “I already did the countdown with someone else.”
Just like Ple, Phayu’s words aren’t direct, they aren’t harsh, but they both understand what he’s trying to say.
Rain’s breath gets caught in his throat and shock fills Ple’s expression.
It’s followed by disappointment, a fleeting glimpse of envy, but she quickly schools it into a bright smile, laughing in that way that Rain used to like so much. “Is that so?” she says, even though it looks like it hurts for her to ask. “I had no idea you already had a partner, P’Phayu. Just earlier, everyone was talking about how unbelievable it is that our faculty’s god is still single, but…” She laughs again, smile becoming strained. “How long have you been with them?”
“Hmm…”
Phayu’s finger crawls around Rain’s hand, rubs against Rain’s wrist where it feels like his pulse is about to jump out of his skin, before he presses their palms together, lining up all five of his fingers against Rain’s own and Phayu waits there; waits, waits, waits, as if he’s asking for permission.
Ple still hasn’t noticed their hands, it doesn’t seem like she’ll notice anything at this point, but Rain feels a strange heat in his chest, like he’s doing something wrong, like he’s going to get caught, and for some reason, it thrills him.
He’s still looking at Phayu, and though Phayu hasn’t turned his way once, Rain gets the feeling that the smug smile playing on his lips is for Rain, not Ple. His kiss was for Rain, not Ple. He is for Rain, not Ple.
I’ll take responsibility.
I don’t treat relationships lightly.
Let’s date.
Shouldn’t we?
If it’s permission that Phayu wants, Rain will give it to him.
He pushes his fingers through Phayu’s, squeezing his hand as tight as he can, and Phayu’s smile widens into a stunning grin.
“Not long,” Phayu answers Ple’s question at last, unable to stop himself from breaking out into laughter as he gives Rain’s hand a strong squeeze in return. “Not long at all. It’s a very, very new relationship.”
This fucking guy. Rain hides his face behind Phayu’s shoulder. He is pretty cute when he laughs, though.
Seeing Phayu’s cheerful reaction when talking about his partner seems to make Ple uncomfortable, and she has the right mind to excuse herself, saying, “Um, well, I wish you both the best then, P’Phayu. I–I should head back to the party now, my brother is probably wondering where I am…” She peeks around Phayu’s side. “Rain? Are you coming with me?”
“Huh?”
Rain pokes his head out at the call of his name, flustered. He opens his mouth to answer, but Phayu immediately shoots him a look. Rain has no idea what that look is supposed to mean—they’ve only been together for like, five seconds, dammit! But he’s got enough sense to know that he should say, “N-No, I think I’m gonna hang around here for a little while, actually. It’s pretty stuffy over there. Too many people.”
“Oh, okay… Oh, right!” Ple seems to have just remembered why she was even here in the first place. “What did you want to see me for again?”
Again, Phayu’s eyes are on Rain, narrowed and as sharp as daggers, and this time, Rain doesn’t miss a beat when he tells Ple, “Oh, heh, it was nothing important. I just wanted to say Happy New Year, Ple.”
Ple’s brows furrow for a second, like she’s trying to make sense of that, but in the end, she just waves it off as Rain being Rain. “Thanks, Rain,” she says, her laugh sounding much more relaxed now. “Happy New Year to you too. Don’t stay out too late, and I’ll see you in class next week?”
Rain nods, waving as Ple heads off, and as soon as she’s out of sight, Rain is being pulled towards someone.
“So,” Phayu says, taking Rain’s other hand and lacing their fingers together there too. “Your name is Rain?”
A short laugh bursts out of Rain’s mouth, reminded of just how ridiculous this whole situation is. “Yes,” he says with a teasing tone. “Your boyfriend’s name is Rain. Don’t you think you should’ve found that out before asking me to date you, P’Phayu?”
“Don’t you think you should’ve found my name out before confessing to me, Nong Rain?” Phayu counters jokingly, then he feigns a heavy sigh. “I’m still shocked you really had no idea who I was, though…”
Rain rolls his eyes. “Is that a problem, Mr. Student Committee President for Three Years In A Row?”
“No,” Phayu laughs, letting go of Rain’s hands only to wind his arms around Rain’s little waist and bring him in closer. “We’ve got a lot of time. I can tell you everything there is to know about me. Things that no one else knows.” He lowers his head, pressing his lips to Rain’s ear. “Things only my lover can know.”
A shiver runs down Rain’s spine, and all he can do is let out a meek, “Okay.”
He feels Phayu smile against him, and as he pulls away, Phayu says, “Hey, you know how I said you stole my New Year’s Kiss?”
“Yeah?”
“I don’t think it counts,” Phayu tells him. “We could barely hear the countdown, and most of the fireworks were on the other side anyway.”
Rain doesn’t get where this is going. “So…?”
“So, we should do another one.”
Rain snorts. “It’s already past midnight, P’Phayu.”
Phayu just shrugs, his smile silly. “Who cares? Just now, you said this new year already sucks, so let’s just start it again.” He looks straight into Rain’s eyes. “Let’s start it together, Rain.”
Searching Phayu’s gaze, Rain can’t find a single trace of a lie. He hadn’t thought Phayu would be the kind of person to want to do frivolous things like this, but Rain finds himself wanting to go along with Phayu anyway, to start it all over, just because they want to; just because they can.
Whether it’s his own feelings or this new year, if Rain wants to start over, he can.
Phayu puts on a timer; puts his hands on Rain’s pretty face.
“Count with me,” Phayu whispers. “When that clock hits zero, I’m going to kiss you.”
Ten.
Rain grips onto the front of Phayu’s shirt.
Nine.
Phayu’s thumb traces Rain’s bottom lip.
Eight.
A familiar song drifts over from the party.
Seven.
‘You are there.’
Six.
‘Standing right next to me.’
Five.
‘I’d never dreamed to find you among millions of people in this city.’
Four.
‘Like time has stopped.’
Three.
‘This city isn’t lonely anymore.’
Two.
‘Because I have you today.’
One.
“Happy New Year, Rain.”
As if on cue, fireworks go off behind them, unplanned but perfect all the same, and when Phayu kisses Rain, it isn’t strange at all. Phayu kisses him, and it’s like he’s been waiting to kiss Rain all his life, like kissing Rain is all he knows and nothing in the world comes close to how it feels. Phayu kisses him, and Rain is glad that Phayu was his first kiss, glad that he’s his second, glad that he’ll be his third, fourth, fifth, and all the kisses for the rest of his life.
Phayu kisses him, and Rain kisses him back, the nervous hands on his chest sliding up to curl around Phayu’s neck, the distance between them closing.
Rain doesn’t really know what he’s doing, but it feels right, and he gasps when he feels one of Phayu’s hands press against his back, hot enough to burn. It’s under Rain’s shirt, fingertips lightly grazing along the bumps of his spine, skin against skin, and Phayu takes advantage of Rain’s open mouth to slip his tongue inside, even hotter than his hand. He finds Rain’s tongue and he sucks, gentle, but it has Rain’s knees buckling, grip slipping, and Phayu laughs.
“Too much?” he asks, forehead pressed to Rain’s.
Rain tries to shake his head, because he liked it, he liked it a lot, but he’s dizzy, he’s out of breath, and he really can’t fucking stand properly right now (and it’s not because of his knees.)
“It’s okay,” Phayu assures him, pressing another kiss to the corner of Rain’s lips. “Like I said, we’ve got a lot of time, Rain.”
That’s right. Rain isn’t chasing midnight anymore. He isn’t chasing after a person who won’t be his. It’s only the beginning of a new year, it’s only the start of their relationship, and Rain has all the time in the world to be with Phayu now.
Rain nods, gathering all his strength to hug Phayu, to hold him as close as he possibly can, to make him feel as wanted as he’s made Rain feel. He wants to tell Phayu that he can be serious about this too, that he didn’t just agree to be with him on a whim, that this isn’t some kind of rebound from his feelings for Ple.
It’s different. Phayu is different.
But Rain can’t put it into words, can’t find a way to condense everything he’s feeling into anything that would make sense, but it doesn’t feel like he has to. It feels like Phayu would understand him anyway.
So for now, all Rain says is—
“Happy New Year, P’Phayu.”