Chapter Text
A/N: Before I begin, this book deals with things like su!c!de and su!c!dal thoughts. If you are triggered by either of these topics, please don't read this because these themes will be dealt with immediately. Other than that, please enjoy the story!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To whom this may concern,
My name is Shu Kurenai, and I have now decided to end my life.
This isn't an act of aggression or vengeance towards anyone. I just feel like I don't have a place here anymore, and I don't think I ever did. I'd prefer to choose my end before my end finds me. I used to be scared to carry out something like this, but I'm not scared. I'm not afraid anymore. I'm not here to prove some point in order to justify why I did this or my ultimate purpose for coming into this world. Why? Because I have concluded that I never found my purpose. I tried my absolute hardest to push this feeling of worthlessness off of me, but I can't fight it anymore. I would say I'm sorry, but I'm not. This was for me, and while that may sound selfish, I pushed everyone away a long time ago.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Love doesn't discriminate
Between the sinners
And the saints
It takes, and it takes, and it takes
And we keep loving anyway
We laugh and we cry
And we break
And we make our mistakes
And if there's a reason I'm by his side
When so many have tried
Then I'm willing to wait for it
I'm willing to wait for it
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I called it a wrap, and everyone went off to do their own things. Who knew it would be so hard being the manager? There's so much I have to do, and on top of all my responsibilities, there's the perfect image that I have to keep up. It's so tiring, but I can never let that break, no matter how hard it gets. They can't know that there's no such thing as perfect...
You're never gonna make it
You're not good enough
There are a million other people with the same stuff
Do you really think you're different? Man you must be kidding
Think you're gonna hit it, but you just don't get it
It's impossible. It's improbable. You're irresponsible.
You gotta stop it yo, you gotta take it slow
You can't be a pro, don't waste your time no more
"SHU!" I heard someone yell, dragging me out of my thoughts. Wait a minute, I recognise that voice... Before I could even collect my thoughts, Valt jumped on me, and we both fell to the ground.
"Hey there, Valt." I chuckled, a smile returning to my face. He always knows what to do to liven the room up and brighten everyone's days. I don't know whether that's just dumb luck, or whether he's actually trying, but who cares? It works, either way.
"You really need to stop doing that, Valt," Rantaro said from a few steps away, sighing at the bluenette. "I know Shu said it was fine and everything, but you're gonna squash him one of these days, and we literally cannot live without him."
"Yeah, yeah, I know. Sorry, Shu." Valt apologised, standing up with a massive grin on his face. He put his hand out, offering to help me up.
"It's fine, Valt." I gladly took his hand, getting up and brushing my clothes off. "So what are you two doing here? You here for the new tournament?"
"Of course, and we are going to dominate!" Rantaro told me in such a matter-of-fact way. He hasn't changed one bit, has he?
"I don't know, guys. The competition here looks pretty rough this year." I replied, glancing around the room. "You might have challenges from a few unfamiliar faces."
"As long as I'm battling with Valtryek, and everyone is having fun, then it doesn't matter!" Valt exclaimed
"Alright, Mr Wonder Boy, we get it." Rantaro hit Valt round the head with his fan, which earned a pout. "You perform miracles and wow the crowd while doing it, stop rubbing it in our faces."
I chuckled, glad to meet up with them again. It's been a while since we've done this. Valt looked at me, a curious look in his eyes. "So are you joining the tournament?"
"Yep, I have the matchups, actually. I got them this morning." I told them
"Are you serious?" Rantaro asked
"Yeah," I turned to the big screen, using my tablet to bring up the results on it. Their eyes scanned the screen, only to widen when they found their own names.
"We're facing..." Valt started
"Each other?" Rantaro finished, their mouths almost dropping to the floor.
"Yeah, it looks like it," I said, scanning for my name. I was facing Wakiya. This will be an interesting first round. "Have either of you spoken to Wakiya recently?"
"No, he blocked me," Rantaro said with a shrug
"He won't pick up my calls anymore," Valt told me, not particularly fazed by it.
"I can kinda understand him not answering Valt, but why did he block you?" I asked, looking at Rantaro.
"I don't know. Daigo said something about him liking me, so I assume that has something to do with it, but other than that, I haven't done anything wrong this time." He replied
"I'll message him later, see how he's doing," I said, a sense of foreboding suddenly washing over me. Why...? I grabbed my phone, deciding to message him now. It's better to be safe than sorry.
Wakiya usually messages back pretty quickly; no more than 10 minutes after the message had been sent. So I'll give him 10 minutes. If he doesn't respond then I'll call him. I put my phone back in my pocket, and I let out a shaky sigh. It'll be fine. Everything will be fine.
"Are you alright, Shu?" Rantaro asked, concern written across his face.
"Yeah, just had a bad feeling about something," I reassured him. "Let's go to the dining room. I'll cook you guys some spaghetti."
They both cheered, and I lead them toward the dining hall. If Wakiya doesn't message me back by the time I finish cooking their food then I'll call him. And if he still doesn't answer then I'm gonna have to call Hoji or one of his maids. I am so worried about him. But... why? My sixth sense has never affected me this much before.
When we reached the dining hall, I went into the kitchen area and started cooking as Valt and Rantaro sat at a table and started chatting amongst themselves. Suddenly, Rantaro's voice rang out. "Hey, Shu? Can we check the matchups on your tablet?"
"Yeah, the password is Daigo's birthday," I told him, and I felt them both glare at me. I looked up at them and cocked an eyebrow. "What?"
"Talk about having a favourite," Valt mumbled
"Yeah, what the hell, Shu?" Rantaro looked down at the tablet, entering the code with a small sigh.
"It changes each week," I told him, rolling my eyes. "Last week it was the twins."
"I think I should be next week," Rantaro told me
"Nu-uh, I'm next week, obviously," Valt said, a little sass in his voice.
"No, he had an Aoi last week. It's time for a different family." Rantaro argued back
"Yeah, and he had a Kurogami this week, so next week can be Aoi again." Valt countered, and they continued to bicker about, forgetting to actually look at the results, which were the cause of this entire argument. I let out a small sigh but chose to leave them to it. They won't have me forever.
I finished their food, walked over to them and placed it down on the table, which caught both of their attention. They both licked their lips and then dug into the food that had been presented to them, saying thank you at some stage or another. I chuckled. Some things just don't change. I checked my phone, only to see no response from Wakiya. That's never good.
I called him, putting the phone to my ear. He picked up the phone on the third ring, which had felt like forever, especially when you're concerned, and before I could even talk, I heard uncontrollable sobbing, and if I'm honest with you, I went into full panic mode. "Wa-"
"I can't do this anymore, Shu. Please. Save me."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times if one only remembers to turn on the light."