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The first crack forms some years after the war's end. They're sitting together on Hashirama's face on the Hokage monument, and it feels a little strange since Sasuke has actually met the First Hokage in person, all those years ago. So much has changed since then – Kakashi's Hokage now, Naruto's a married man now, and the village is at peace.
Sasuke would scoff, if Naruto weren't sitting right next to him. Peace. Of course. That was always the end goal, wasn't it?
"Naruto," he says slowly, and he has to force the Rinnegan out of his eyes, "about the elders..."
Naruto outright laughs at that. "You're still going on about that?" he asks, clapping Sasuke on the shoulder. "I thought that didn't matter anymore."
Sasuke falls silent because there's no easy way to continue this conversation – no easy way to tell Naruto that, yes, what happened to his family does still matter to him – when did it ever not matter? – even though he's long stopped fighting, even though the world is supposed to be peaceful now.
And Sasuke has already caused enough problems – the villagers still regard him with suspicion, still remain guarded in his presence, still whisper about the traitor and the cursed clan when they think he's not listening.
"Sasuke." Naruto's hand is on his shoulder, uncomfortably close.
And Sasuke has learned the hard way that it's pointless to even think of opposing again, now that Naruto has the entire world on his side and he has no one. "It's nothing," Sasuke mutters.
Naruto continues to prattle on about something or another Hinata did that morning, but Sasuke can't bring himself to pay attention.
Instead, he looks to Hashirama, as he once did before. What would you have done?
He's at dinner with Sakura three days later when the second crack appears. They're sitting at a booth in a sushi place she'd decided on, and Sasuke picks at his food with his chopsticks in a way that would make his mother scream in mortification, if she could see him now. Sakura's ranting about something or another concerning her clinic, about the kilometers of red tape zigzagging through it that makes it impossible to get anything done.
"Sasuke-kun?" she says suddenly, likely having caught onto his inattention.
The chopsticks fall from his hands, clattering to the table. "Sorry," Sasuke says because it's all he knows how to say nowadays.
"Are you okay?"
The look in Sakura's eyes is a familiar one – concern mixed with pity, stemming from something she's never really understood.
"It's nothing," Sasuke says again, just as he said to Naruto before.
Sakura doesn't buy it quite as easily as Naruto did. Though she continues to talk and Sasuke continues pretending to listen, her voice sounds more strained, forced, and she doesn't take her eyes off of him for the rest of the evening.
The third crack forms nearly six months later, in Kakashi's office. Sasuke's sitting at a desk next to the Hokage's, sorting paperwork while Kakashi gives out missions to the shinobi that walk into the office.
(They all look at Sasuke like he has no right to be there, like he should have died with the rest of his wretched clan or at least in the war.)
It's a slow day, with not much to do beyond assisting Kakashi as part of the reparations he's still nowhere close to paying off, even though it's been years since he returned. There's no point in getting frustrated, Sasuke has to remind himself. He brought this on himself.
"Sasuke," Kakashi says just before lunch, when the office is silent, "have you withdrawn money from the Uchiha accounts recently?" Kakashi should know better than anyone that Sasuke doesn't have access to his family's bank accounts at all, but pointing out this detail might cast even more suspicion on him, so he says nothing. "Oh, wait. It was Koharu-sama who withdrew money. Never mind."
"Is there even anything left?" Sasuke asks dully. He could have phrased it better, he thinks when Kakashi suddenly turns to frown disapprovingly at him.
"No need to be so hasty," his old sensei says sharply. "Just keep working hard like you've been doing, and you should be able to access your family's money soon enough."
It's not that simple, Sasuke wants to say but doesn't. He knows that a simple apology is never enough, because he's broken too much, hurt too much to expect anything different. It's not enough that he apologized to the remaining elders for "insult," for killing one of their own, even though they were the ones that–
"Sorry," Sasuke whispers, crushing that train of thought before it can warp into something too much like his emotional state during the war.
Kakashi smiles gently down at him and ruffles his hair. "Why don't you take the afternoon off?" he suggests. He still doesn't get it, Sasuke thinks – or maybe he gets it just a little too well.
Sasuke shakes his sensei's hand off and stands. He needs to get out of this building – out of this village, whispers a sinister voice in the back of his mind – so that he can breathe again.
He finally shatters more than a year later, three months after his wedding, from a revelation that shouldn't be quite so startling.
"I'm pregnant."
Everything comes crashing then, and his wife has to catch him as he nearly collapses. "Sasuke-kun? What's wrong?"
"Everything," he says shakily, mumbling into her shirt as he presses his forehead to her shoulder.
Sakura has the gall to look offended, even though this has nothing to do with her. "I don't understand," she says. She never did, he thinks. "I thought this was what you wanted. You said that you wanted to rebuild your clan, so..."
A million thoughts flash through his mind so quickly that he can't keep track of any of them. His wife helps him sit down, her arm wrapped around his shoulder as he sags into her. It should feel comforting, but she still doesn't get it, even after all this time.
And she never will.
"Breathe," she says gently as she rubs circles into his back. Sasuke inhales sharply, and is rewarded with a coughing fit for his trouble. "What's wrong?" Sakura asks again when he's done. "Did something happen?"
He should tell her – he should have a long time ago – but he's breathing too quickly and it's too hot and too cold and his heart is hammering in his chest.
Sakura presses her hand against his forehead, and it's just like before, before he left the village in the first place, with warm healing chakra blanketing his mind in a dull, yet comfortable haze. By the time she removes her hand and the healing chakra stops flowing, it's easier to breathe.
Sasuke rests his head in his hands and forces himself to take deep breaths. Sakura wraps her arms around him and pulls him close to her, resting her head against his shoulder. "What happened, Sasuke-kun?" she asks again. "Please... I won't understand unless you tell me."
It takes a few more minutes of deep breaths before he can say anything. "The massacre," he manages to get out. "It was..." And then, he stops. Does Sakura even know?
Of course she does, he tries to reason with himself – she's just taking it with the same brand of nonchalance that Naruto and Kakashi are. But as he looks down to her abdomen – it doesn't look any different than usual, but it won't stay that way for long. And then that child – his child – will grow up in a village that–
–that thinks it's okay to wipe out an entire clan for something they hadn't even done yet, that expects him to apologize for everything as if he has no right to be angry, to be upset, to be hurt–
"Sasuke-kun?"
Sasuke lifts his head and exhales slowly. Even if she already knows, I still have to...
And then, he tells her everything.
Sakura storms into the Hokage's office with the strength and fury of a typhoon, and she looks like she'll willingly send the entire tower crashing to the ground if anyone so much as looks at her the wrong way. Naruto and Kakashi are both conveniently there, alone and looking just as shocked as Sasuke is.
"You lied to me," she snarls at them, absolutely livid.
Naruto smiles as if nothing is wrong. "Sorry, Sakura-chan!" he says. "See, I spilled ramen on that towel you lent me, so I had to wash it–"
"Naruto," Kakashi says sharply, silencing him. "What is it, Sakura?"
"You lied to me!" she says again. "Both of you!"
Naruto and Kakashi exchange uneasy glances, then look to Sasuke. "You told her?" Kakashi asks him, looking at him like he's thirteen instead of twenty, like he's just throwing another tantrum. "You realize, that's an S-rank secret."
Sasuke clenches his fists and looks down. How could he not tell her? How could they not tell her?
Kakashi barely has time to dive out of the way as Sakura flips his desk over, sending entire stacks of paper and the computer screen crashing down with it. "Don't give me that bullshit!"
"Sakura-chan–" Naruto starts, but Sakura cuts him off with a harsh glare.
"Sakura, calm down," Kakashi says sternly.
"God!" she shrieks as she covers her face with her hands. "Four years! You knew this for four years, and you never–after all that bullshit you spouted about not turning your back on your friends–"
"Sakura, that's enough," Kakashi cuts her off.
"No!" She's shaking and crying, but it's not a familiar image. "Just... four years, Sensei!"
"Sakura-chan!" Naruto calls as she storms out of the office, slamming the door behind her.
Sakura doesn't say a word, even when Sasuke cooks dinner for them that night. She glares at her plate as they eat, nearly stabbing through it with her chopsticks in her rage.
"I thought you knew," Sasuke says quietly.
She laughs bitterly. "Give me a little more credit, Sasuke-kun," she replies. "Do you really think I'd just ignore something like that?"
Naruto and Kakashi did, he doesn't say.
"I'm sorry," she says, sighing harshly. "I was just thinking... there was so much that I did to hurt you back then, because I thought... I didn't know..."
Sasuke shakes his head. "Don't worry about it. It's in the past."
"Never thought I'd hear that one from you."
Sasuke shrugs in response.
"Okay." Sakura takes a deep breath. "What are we going to do?"
"About what?"
"About..." She waves her hands exasperatedly over her head. "Everything! So everyone's all anti-Uchiha because of the war, but it was like that before the war too, and... We're having a baby! It’s going to grow up thinking that it comes from this evil, cursed clan, and your clan’s bank accounts are almost completely empty because the elders keep taking reparations – I mean, what the hell–”
“It’s not like there’s anything we can do,” Sasuke says dully. If he raises a single concern, it’ll be like his so-called “revolution” all over again – like he’s just some brat throwing a tantrum for no reason, that needs to be constantly babysat lest he cause trouble for everyone again.
“I’ll think of something,” Sakura promises. “We have nine months to get this done.”
“Why nine months?”
“You spent three years with Kabuto–”
“Right. The baby.”
Sakura giggles, the first sign of herself he’s seen since he told her about the massacre. “Sasuke-kun, I... I really am sorry, about... before. I thought you were...” She trails off, looking down despondently.
“To be fair,” Sasuke says with a small smile, the most he can manage now, “I thought the same thing about you back then.”
“I’m serious, though,” Sakura says. “We need to find some way to prove that what you said is true. If not for you, then for the baby... so that it won’t have to grow up like you did.”
Sasuke smiles. “Aa.”
Kakashi and Naruto show up at their front door the next morning. Sasuke is the one to answer the door, his heart hammering in his chest as he sees his sensei’s placid smile and Naruto’s anxious expression.
“Who is it?” Sakura calls from the kitchen. Sasuke can’t bring himself to say anything, which is more than enough of an answer for her. She’s by his side in seconds, crossing her arms over her chest and glowering at their teammates. “What do you want?”
“Good morning,” Kakashi says pleasantly. “May we come in?”
“A-Are you going to hit us?” Naruto stammers.
“I don’t know,” Sakura says dryly, tilting her head to the side. “If you keep that attitude up, then I just might.”
“Come in,” Sasuke says quickly, leading them to the living room. The four of them sit around the table together, no one uttering a single word. Sakura clenches her fists tightly in her lap, glaring downward. Naruto looks anxiously from Sakura, to Sasuke, and then back to Kakashi. Sasuke forces himself to take deep breaths lest he panic like he did yesterday. Kakashi appears calm and poised as usual.
“Listen,” Kakashi said slowly. “Sasuke, Sakura... we owe you an apology.”
“Th-There was just so much stuff to take care of with the war, a-and–” Naruto stammers.
“Are you saying you forgot?” Sakura cuts him off.
“No, that’s not...” Naruto replies shakily. “I mean... Well, when you put it that way...”
"You don’t care,” Sakura snaps at him. “You don’t care unless it has something to do with you. All of this about the massacre stopped mattering when Sasuke-kun came back, didn’t it?”
“That’s not true!”
“Then why did you keep covering it up?”
“There was no proof,” Kakashi answers. “Besides, Sasuke had his own reparations to pay.”
“And this is one of them?” Sakura shoots back, her voice shaking with the beginnings of tears. “You’re saying he has to apologize to the people who put him in this situation for lashing out at them? How is that okay?”
“It’s not,” Kakashi says calmly, “but my hands were tied as long as the village still viewed Sasuke as an enemy and a traitor. That kind of reputation doesn’t disappear overnight, Sakura.”
“I know it doesn’t! But... it’s not fair!”
Kakashi’s expression turns grim. “That’s where we messed up, I think. If we’d gotten you involved right when we found out about this, the truth could have come to light sooner.”
“But...” Naruto pipes up. “That doesn’t mean we can’t do anything now. You guys want to make things right, right? We’ll help.”
Sakura crosses her arms, still looking entirely unconvinced. “Why the sudden change of heart?”
Kakashi’s eyes crinkle into a smile. “Those who abandon their friends are worse than trash, right?”