Chapter Text
i. then
the countryside is nothing like the beach, despite what mom says. the heat sticks to mi-ae’s skin like a wet bathing suit (her face twists into a scowl at that comparison) and the dirt kicks up into her nostrils under her pink slippers. she sneezes violently, doing nothing for the nausea bubbling in her stomach from the ride.
some people come to greet them; the man is super tall, and the teenage girl has pretty brown hair. the grown-ups exchange greetings that make mi-ae want to fall asleep again, and she almost does, if not for the boy that catches her eye.
“huh…eh?” she tugs mom’s sleeve. “over there—! it’s a boy!” he’s standing father back, near the bushes and foliage, wearing a visor that covers his entire face. he looks ridiculous but somehow enchanting. mom said the family had a son her age, but he looks way too tall to be ten!
(that’s so cool!)
mom peels mi-ae’s hand off her sleeve and captures it in a tight hold. “right… let’s go meet the rest of the family, mi-ae. you’ll have time to explore later.” mi-ae protests vehemently, but a scalding look from mom shuts her up quickly. she sneaks one more glance at the boy before he disappears into the forest. mi-ae smiles to herself; at least she has a friend in this new place. “my friend!” she whispers.
<the sun and moon collide>
the man brings the boy to greet mi-ae and dad.
“hello! let’s be friends!” she exclaims, buzzing in excitement.
the boy doesn’t reply. mi-ae blinks. does he not understand korean? she taps dad’s pants so he bends down. she gets on her tiptoes to reach dad’s ear and whispers, “does he understand korean?” dad guffaws and ruffles mi-ae’s hair. “that’s not an answer!” she hisses, but dad keeps smiling knowingly. fine. she’ll take matters into her own hands.
“this is where you say, ‘okay, nice to meet you!’” she says, and shakes the boy’s hand. he jolts at the action, and quickly rips his hand out of mi-ae’s. his visor shifts, and mi-ae catches a bright red blush spreading across his cheeks.
“you can’t just touch people like that, you–you weirdo girl!”
mi-ae frowns.“we’re friends!” she refutes, “and why are ya cheeks so red? is it because it’s super hot outside? it’s hotter than what i’m used to in the city. the tall buildings create a super big shadow—but there’s no buildings here. oh! do you guys have streams here? want to go swimming later?”
“we’re not friends! and i don’t want to.”
“come on, it’ll be fun! we can go into the forest and catch frogs and crickets!”
the boy shivers. “you’re completely…off your rockers.”
mi-ae’s eye twitches; she’s just trying to make friends, and he’s being so antagonistic. “what is your problem! just try to appreciate a little adventure. i’m here instead of going to the beach so you should be grateful, actually.” fed up, mi-ae sticks out her tongue.
“cheol and mi-ae,” dad and the other man snicker, and the boy’s cheeks grow even redder.
“ugh!” he yells, and disappears again into the forest.
ii.
the girl is absolutely insufferable. what do his parents expect cheol to do with a girl like her? she’ll be fine on her own, he thinks, and continues trimming the fields with dad’s scythe. it’s monotonous and mind-numbingly boring, but it’s familiar.
(“hello! let’s be friends!”)
at the unprovoked flashback, irritation wells up in his chest. “ugh! what a weird girl!” he mutters, scratching his head. “doesn’t she know that there are rules to things like this…” he kicks a rock in frustration, and ends up tripping over it (not his smartest choice), dropping the scythe. great. cheol sighs heavily; this is why he hates new things—unusual, unexpected things.
he bends to pick it over, careful not to jostle the weeds in his basket, and comes face to face with the weirdo girl. her pigtails swish in his face as she holds his scythe with a toothy smirk.
(there are more reasons, but he’d rather not think about them.)
“looking for this? what’s it called? it seems sharp. what’s that in your basket? can i join? oh, do you know any fun places—?”
cheol snatches the scythe out of her hands so fast she reels back. she holds her hands gingerly, and immediately he feels guilty. “i didn’t mean to—”
she balls up her fists, and stamps her foot in the ground. “hey! let me try, there’s no point ignoring me. i wanna try using the tool too, i’m so bored! let me help!” she yells, and dives for the scythe.
“what the—!” he yells, incredulous. any guilt cheol had initially disappears. he dodges her attempt to grab it, and when she tries again, he starts sprinting away. to his surprise, the girl keeps up in flip flops, her speed rivaling some of the boys at his school. this annoys cheol even more. “arrrgh! go away! how long are you going to follow me!”
“every…where…you go!” she pants.
cheol takes it back. she isn’t weird. she’s completely insane. “go AWAY—!”
a heavy thump causes him to freeze. he turns around to find the girl face-flat in the grass, dirt and dead leaves stuck to her overalls. her slippers lay discarded behind her. “oww…” she whimpers, cradling her foot.
(so what?)
she tries to get to her feet, but falls back onto the ground. “it hurts…”
cheol frowns; did she sprain her ankle? he starts to bend down to examine her leg, then realizes what he’s doing, and draws away in embarrassment. “uh—are you okay…?”
she stops holding her ankle to stare at cheol with wide eyes, dumbfounded. he furrows his brows; had he said something wrong? “wh-what is it?” she continues to stare blankly, and cheol shifts in discomfort. “what??”
“aren’t you going to make fun of me?”
“what? why would i make fun of you…” what a stupid question, he thinks, and glances at her leg, which definitely has something wrong with it.
her jaw drops (or a better word would be descends, with how slow it is). “whoa.” a sunray hits her right in the face, illuminating her pale skin, but she doesn’t close her eyes or squint. no, the light reflects in her green eyes, and cheol finds himself struggling. “you’re nice…”
his eyes widen. she smiles. the crickets buzz.
“could you carry me back to the house,” she asks, breaking the silence. “my leg hurts really bad.”
the words slosh through his brain like sludge, muddled and hazy as he tries to process her earlier statement. to make it worse, she keeps beaming at him with sparkly eyes through it all, which forces him to spit out a “sure”, before he embarrasses himself further. her smile widens impossibly further, and the feeling that’s welling up in his chest is so alienating that he averts his eyes. “well, are you going to get on my back or what…”
it’s an awkward and tedious struggle trying to secure her on his back without touching her thighs or hiking up her overalls, but eventually she has both arms wrapped around his neck and legs tight around his waist. she’s not heavy, but she isn’t light either, and as they trek across the field, his body feels heavier.
“there’s a lot of things to trip on in the countryside, isn’t there?”
“not really.”
“there’s a lot of trees here too. we don’t really have those back home. ah, speaking of new things, are there any pools nearby? can i swim in them?”
“no.”
“which question does that answer? the first or the second—?”
he sighs heavily, hoping she’ll get the hint, but she continues to chatter in his ear about random things. cheol grits his teeth and tries to tune her out the rest of the way home, lest he give into his inclinations and abandon her in the field.
“the sky is so pretty in the evening. it’s bright orange and purple and red and ooh i think i can see the moon behind the trees—” she cuts herself off and cranes her head over cheol’s shoulder until he’s making eye contact with him. the sudden eye contact nearly brings them down. he clenches his jaw.
“why did you—”
“i’m mi-ae! what’s your name?”
“why do you want to know?”
“why not?”
cheol sighs again. “i’m cheol,” he grits out, hoping she’ll be satisfied with this piece of information, and get the hint he doesn’t want to talk, but he can feel her dorky smile widen.
“what a pretty name.”
“it’s not pretty.”
“should i say awesome or cool or maybe, handsome?”
cheol feels his face beginning to heat without his consent. “just don’t say anything. not another word until we get back.”
“whaat? but there’s lots to talk about?”
“do you not get tired?”
“nah. lots of things make me excited though, like ice cream and beaches and summer!” mi-ae giggles. “and… making new friends like you,” she adds, and his stomach swoops uncomfortably.
we’re not friends, he doesn’t say.
they reach the house and cheol drops her on the couch. “thanks for—”
he scurries to his room, missing the rest of her statement. cheol slams the door shut and collapses against it, completely exhausted. he clutches his shirt, feeling the fast beat of his heart.
that girl is so…!
<an uncommon type of eclipse>
iii.
“haven’t you ever danced on a sports day? quick, give me your hands!” mi-ae stretches out her hands, beckoning for his. he’s wearing that awful visor again, the one that covers his face, so she can’t tell what he’s thinking at all.
“you’re making me do some weird stuff,” he says, but nonetheless places his hands in hers. cheol’s hands are rough and dwarf hers by a mile. she’s still confused on how he’s supposedly her age, but that’s beside the point.
“you start by holding hands like this! take two steps to the side, then again.” and so they begin their dance, clumsy and stilted like an infant’s wobble, knees bonking against each other’s, with the wind ruffling their hair and clothes, slipping through the cracks of their joined hands. it’s awful, but it’s fun. “now grab my waist and spin around!”
“i swear it doesn’t go like this,” cheol complains but he still holds onto her waist. (or perhaps lightly grabbing her shirt would be a better description, but she’ll accept it.)
“it does!”
eventually they get in a comfortable rhythm, and their dance carries them across the field. somewhere in their twirls and spins cheol’s visor shifts until it’s resting on the side on his head, revealing dark eyes and tan lines near his chin. “oh!” she says.
“what?”
“you have pretty eyes. like the moon, except it’s darker like the night. hey, why do you hide your face? it’s not that hot anymore.”
his eyes widen slowly, and then the rest of his face scrunches up into something unrecognizable. “stop—stop saying odd things, you weirdo” he hisses, pink trickling into his cheeks.
“eh? it’s a compliment. a compliment. say thank you, cheol. thank you, thank you, thaaank you—mphf!” cheol suddenly covers her mouth with the hand holding her waist, but the lack of support causes her to lose her footing and jerk backwards. “ahh!” she grabs onto cheol’s shirt hastily, almost bringing him down with her.
“let go!”
“i’m going to fall!”
he quickly grasps her waist and she grabs his sleeves until he’s basically carrying her. the wind blows her pigtails into his face, and cheol’s face screws up in displeasure. “what is your—”
“say thank you!” she yells. he made her almost fall and rejected her compliment! “that’s what friends do.”
he blinks in disbelief. “you’re—”
“thank youuu—”
“i’m not—”
“how’d you make friends if you’re so grumpy all the time, huh?” she says, and he stops.
cheol lets out a heavy sigh, like he always does and then stares her in the eyes. his intense stare makes mi-ae’s stomach somersault, but she waves away the feeling. “thank you. are you happy now?”
a goofy smile breaks out across mi-ae’s face. “super.”
he holds her gaze for a moment, then looks away shyly. “and…i guess you have a nice smile…” he mumbles, but it’s so quiet the words are incomprehensible.
“what? what did you say?”
“ugh, forget it!” he lets go of her waist and starts walking away.
mi-ae blinks. “wait, what did you say? and come back we’re not done dancing!”
iv.
“is that the new kid?”
“he’s so tall.”
“maybe he stayed back a year?”
“he’s kinda scary...”
the homeroom teacher introduces cheol to his new class. this is the fourth school in a year, so cheol knows he shouldn’t get too attached, despite mom’s reassurance this time would be different.
he stares straight ahead, ignoring the other children, their comments, and their stares. “i am kim cheol. i hope we can get along,” he says, and the class goes silent.
the teacher tells him to sit in the back, so cheol heads towards his seat, keeping his head down and shoulders hunched as much as he can. he pulls out his textbooks and starts studying; transferring in the middle of year has put him behind the school curriculum. besides, if he gets good grades here, maybe dad will…
a head flops on his textbook, and cheol jolts back. “what…?” a boy with long eyelashes and amber eyes looks up at him, a mischievous grin stretching from ear to ear.
“hey, you’re pretty tall. join the soccer team,” he says, twisting his body to look properly at cheol.
cheol sweatdrops. he glances at the teacher, but he only looks exasperated at the boy’s actions. in any case, he doesn’t have time for jokes. “no thanks.”
“aw, don’t be like that! it’ll be fun. besides…our soccer team sucks!”
cheol sighs irately. what part of no did he not understand?
“oh sorry, is honggyu bothering you, cheol?” a pleasant looking boy says. he’s sitting next to cheol’s desk, leaning his head on his hand lazily. he looks dignified, like what cheol would imagine a class president to look like. a small smile brushes his lips, but it’s so faint cheol can’t tell if he’s being nice or malicious.
“it’s…fine.”
the boy’s smile widens. “ah, but he’s not wrong. our soccer team is really bad. it doesn’t sound like a bad idea to me. consider it.”
“you’re so cunning, jungwook,” honggyu says, grinning. he slaps down a flyer. “come to practice today, we’re recruiting.”
cheol sighs. he tucks the flyer in his backpack and pretends to mull over it. “maybe,” he says, and sighs again when honggyu cheers so loud he gets detention.
when class ends, cheol follows the poorly drawn map on the back of the flyer (honggyu’s gift after jungwook reminded him cheol was a new student) to the soccer field. the grass is wild and uncut, just like the countryside, and the sky is a muddy gray. he sees a group of players doing stretches, and honggyu, who’s bouncing a ball on his thigh lazily while talking to the coach. cheol hums, mildly impressed. he takes a step onto the field, and hesitates. it’s a team sport, and he’s not exactly…
but before he can reconsider, honggyu notices him, and runs up to him. “oh, you actually showed up!” a cheeky smile spreads across his face. “i thought you said maybe, though?”
cheol’s cheeks flush. “i…needed to join a club anyway.”
honggyu hums, unconvinced. “in any case, i’m glad you came. put on this uniform, and join the line.” he gestures to the soccer hopefuls, who look wary when they notice him. cheol’s stomach twists, but he shoves down the feelings.
the uniform stops short of his belly button, and his rolled up pants constrict his legs since he didn’t bring shorts. still, he feels a strange giddiness as the coach leads puts them through soccer drills. cheol has never been into sports, but he was very active in the countryside, and perhaps that’s why he does decent, coming second in the mile run and managing to score twice in the scrimmages. he takes a deep breath to steady his heartbeat, then looks at the rest of the recruits, who are gasping for air.
then the coach then raises his eyebrow and jots something down on his pad. cheol feels sick. did he do something wrong?
honggyu pats him on the back, pulling him out of his thoughts. “good job, cheol! with any luck, goguryeo will make the playoffs this year.” he smiles, and cheol smiles back.
the coach splits them into two teams for a scrimmage, and gives him the striker position. this painfully reminds cheol that he does not know a single thing about soccer, and fresh panic flows through him. “coach,” he pleads. “there are better players.”
coach barely glances at him. “maybe there are,” he says. “or maybe there aren’t. just play the best you can.”
cheol blanches. that doesn’t help, he thinks, but gets in position nonetheless, and stares down the opposite striker, which happens to be honggyu. “give it your all, kim cheol,” he says.
coach blows the whistle, and honggyu loses the cheeky grin, shooting forward and stealing the ball. it’s so fast cheol has no time to react, and honggyu blows past him. cheol stands, momentarily shocked, then quickly comes back to his senses and runs after honggyu. he is fast, but cheol is faster, and he catches in no time.
he aims for the ball, but honggyu dribbles it around him, then passes it to baekhyun, who passes it around cheol’s teammate to honggyu for a clean goal. their goalie doesn’t stand a chance, and five minutes in the score is 1-0. cheol grits his teeth. he glances at the coach, whose expression is unreadable. get it together, cheol.
the game continues, and the score continues to narrow. despite ho-seok’s goal, they’re still behind 2. things don’t look hopeful, and then, jeong-ho manages to steal the ball from seojun, and passes it to cheol.
cheol grins; now is his time. he sprints forward and clumsily maneuvers his way around the midfielder to reach the goal. the goal is the only thing in his mind, even as honggyu loops back around and confront him. “you can’t out dribble me,” he says.
“maybe,” he says. “or maybe not.” the defenders grow near them. he doesn’t have the technical skills, but he has strength. he has the build. so he kicks.
with all his might, and the ball shoots into the air, and soars back down into the corner of the net, barely missing the goalie’s fingers. and with that, they’re up 1.
honggyu gapes. “what kind of goal is that…?”
exhilaration fills cheol’s body. he scored. he glances at the coach, whose upturned corners betray him. his teammates jump on him and high five him, and any malice from earlier is completely gone. it feels great, to have those eyes feel something different. he could get used to this.
despite their best attempts, honggyu’s team crushes them with a final score of 4-1.
afterwards, the coach corrals the players into a group and begins listing the ones who didn’t make it, and cheol watches in awe as players who were better than him get rejected. and then the coach looks cheol in the eye, and he holds his gaze for so long cheol squirms in position.
the silence makes cheol want to snatch the notepad out of the man’s hands and check for himself, but before his self-control runs out, the coach clears his throat. his face remains stoic as he says, “you’re on the team,” and cheol blanks.
“me…?”
the man’s lips twitch. it’s the closest thing to a recognizable emotion he’s seen today. “well done. i expect a lot from you, alright?”
maybe i can be…
“yes sir,” cheol says, and can’t help the smile that sneaks onto his face.
for once, just maybe, he could be a part of a team. a community.
(and, just maybe, he could be seen for the person he truly was.)
“i won’t let you down.”
…
tae-uk slams into cheol and knocks them both to the ground. he returns the favor with a nasty fist to his face, and the taste of copper floods his mouth. someone screams, and the voices of the crowd grow louder until it’s a deafening roar. cheol turns his head so tae-uk hits the concrete, and winces at the deafening scream. he punches tae-uk in the face, knocking off the smug grin on his face, and uses his shock to push him off.
cheol staggers to his feet, panting heavily. his cheek throbs, and his knuckles sting with inexperience. he hadn’t meant to hit that hard.
tae-uk’s face contorts in rage. “what the hell is wrong with you,” he hisses, rubbing his cheek as he gets to his feet.
a group has gathered around them, voices overlapping and clamoring to see the fight.
cheol glares at tae-uk as he staggers to his feet. “just mind your own business. leave him alone.”
tae-uk huffs. “you think that kid will appreciate this? huh? you’re the reason why this all started in the first place.”
“i said, mind your own business—”
“like hell. you think i’m scared of you, lucifer? you’re always looking down on people. well, not me.”
cheol narrows his eyes. “it’s not like that,” he says, simply, because it never is. because of his height, people have treated him like a ticking time bomb, but he’s not like that. despite everything, he still wants to be seen as a normal kid. and yet…it never seems to happen. “just leave him alone—”
“did he tell you? that he’s only sticking around because he’s scared of you.”
“bullshit.” cheol spots honggyu’s face among the crowd, eyebrows furrowed and anger seeping from his eyes. he turns to cheol, and red seeps into his cheeks. “and i don’t need your help. i didn’t ask for your help, and now you’ve gone and done exactly what these bastards said you would do.”
(a heart as big as his body.)
cheol’s heart sinks, and suddenly he’s thirteen again, learning to mind his every action lest he make others uncomfortable. moving too much in such little time, feeling like a ghost floating from place to place, unable to materialize.
as soon as the words are out, honggyu grimaces. “i didn’t mean it lik—”
“what…the hell is wrong with you people?!” cheol snaps. the students look taken aback, and honggyu flinches at his volume. because of his height, people have treated him like a ticking time bomb, but he’s not like that. despite everything, he still wants to be seen as a normal kid. and yet…
his throat tightens.
and then, coach shows up, and the glaring disappointment on his face hurts more than the punches, because he was the only adult at goguryeo to treat him like normal.
“coach, i—”
“save it,” he says, and doesn’t say a word more. not as he disperses the crowd, or takes them to the principal’s office. he simply sits them down and heads into the staffroom to call their parents.
tae-uk looks the worst between them with a darkening bruise smeared across his jaw, right where cheol hit him, and cheol feels so nauseous he could puke.
dad shows up and slaps him in the office, and cheol reels not from the pain, but from the shock. his face is genuinely angry, but what hurts the most is the vicious disappointment in his eyes.
“are you a gangster? why would you do this? why?” dad yells, and spittle lands on cheol’s stinging cheek. “now they’re threatening to sue. don’t you think about the rest of the family when you do these things?! say something!”
i’m not…
he keeps his head hung low, avoiding dad’s gaze. ugly, ugly shame weighs down on his chest like a cursing, inescapable pressure, knotting his gut and stealing his words. there’s nothing he can say, because what would he say? he stood up for a friends. he’s not, could never be—
“i expected better from you,” dad says, and that is the nail in the coffin.
he drags cheol home and grounds him for a week. four of those days he spends on suspension for the fight, one with jungwook catching him up on assignments, and on the seventh dad comes home defeated with transfer papers.
<the moon hides behind the clouds>
v.
today is run day, one of mi-ae’s favorite days. she prides herself on her short distance running. she’s almost ninety percent sure she’ll break her previous record. she does her pre-run stretches with her friends and listens to jiseon’s spiel about the hottest boys in school. mi-ae doesn’t know any of the boys she lists, but it’s interesting hearing about them. she doesn’t really get those things, but it’s okay.
“oh, and ho-seok, too.”
“no matter how handsome he is, i bet he can’t beat mi-ae at running,” yoonhee says, and they all laugh.
“i’m going to beat my record for sure this time,” mi-ae declares, puffing out her chest.
“is she in elementary school or something?” someone says behind them, and mi-ae tracks to a boy with the ugliest buzzcut she’s ever seen. “she’s so short. like a five-year-old,” he continues, and his friends behind him snicker obnoxiously.
“who’s that? do you know him, mi-ae?” jihye asks.
“no. what the heck?” mi-ae scowls at the boy, who has realized she heard him.
“what’re you looking at, you pipsqueak?” he growls.
“ehh? who the hell are you to call me short, egghead?”
the boy sputters. he makes an aborted reach for his hair, and then his face contorts in anger. “what’s your problem?”
“me? what’s your problem, jerk? don’t you know it’s rude to talk behind people’s backs.”
“i can say whatever i want to say, chibi.”
who does he think he is—? “bald head! my dad has more hair than you.”
“i have more hair than you have inches, little girl,” he says, and mi-ae’s anger level surpasses its limit.
yoonhee holds mi-ae’s arm cautiously, but mi-ae doesn’t want a fight.
she wants a race. “if you can beat me in the short distance, then, i’ll apologize. if not, you take back everything you said.” she holds out her hand. “deal?”
the boy regards her with disdain, but takes her hand anyway. “let’s see how fast those tiny legs can run.”
their class gathers around the starting line, curiously watching the interaction. her friends look weary, but still cheer mi-ae on. mi-ae rolls up her sweatpants to her knees, and pushes her hair. “get ready to lose, egghead.”
“3, 2, 1, and…start!”
mi-ae takes off running. despite her size, she’s good at sprinting. it’s why mom could never catch younger her around the house unless mi-ae was tired or dad lured her in with treats. so she’s not surprised, and devilishly happy, when she surpasses the boy easily. his panting fades into the background and all she focuses on is the sun on her neck and the tensing of her muscles.
<the sun spreads over the earth>
she’s going to win.
she’s about to win.
the finish line is ahead, and her friends are there cheering her on. she’s about to prove this jerk wrong.
then something stomps on the back of her shoe, and mi-ae nosedives into the track.
she hits the ground hard, and feels the rubber scrape against her chin and knees.
she blinks.
once, then twice.
her legs feel rough to the touch, and when she brings her hand back, red coats her fingers. hands on her shoulders guide her to her feet, accompanied by the the voices of jihye, yoonhee, and jiseon. her head is spinning and things don’t feel quite right, but then she looks into the eyes of the boy and things feel worse. he—
he smirks.
“you couldn’t beat me, midget.”
mi-ae blinks again. she glances at herself, then the crowd of students watching, and then the words click into the place. and then, then unadulterated rage wracks through her body. she was winning, and then he stepped on her shoe. “that’s not fair! you tripped me.”
“are you calling me a cheater?” he says, fake pouting. “why would i need to cheat against someone half my size?”
mi-ae snaps. “what?! why are you lying? you—!”
“he’s not worth the trouble, mi-ae” jihye pleads, but mi-ae doesn’t care. she lunges. the boy flinches back, but she manages to grab onto his shirt.
“hey! what’s your problem?” she yells.
“let go of me, you psycho girl—!” he tries to push away her head, but mi-ae nips at his fingers.
“why me?” she demands. before she can do worse, her friends drag her off the boy. she struggles against their hold, but lets herself be pulled off.
“why won’t you all just leave me alone—!”
“hwang mi-ae!” her teacher shouts. “leave him alone, and go to the sidelines.”
“but teacher!” she pleads. “why i am the only one getting reprimanded—?”
“no excuses! out. before i send you to the principal’s office.”
mi-ae bites down on her tongue to stop the tears from welling up in her eyes. it’s unfair, but it always happens. how come she’s in trouble for reacting? “yes, teacher,” she mumbles, and walks to the sidelines like a wounded dog. (which, she hasn’t forgotten about the scrapes all over her body, but she can’t bring herself to care.)
mi-ae sits on the bleachers, buries her head in her arms, and waits for the period to be over.
…
she comes home with bruised knees and a bruised heart. dad isn’t home yet, and mom is in her room. the thought of mom seeing the raw injuries makes mi-ae sick to her stomach, not because of the anger but because all she can do is yell. there is nothing she can do to make mi-ae grow six inches overnight.
(also because they cannot offer something they do not have, but mi-ae hates blaming her parents even more than disappointing them.)
she goes into the kitchen to find the medicine cabinet, where she finds moonk nipping at the kibble bag in the pantry. “didn’t mom feed you, huh moonk? how are you still hungry?” she crouches down and scratches the back of moonk’s fluffy ears. moonk keens at the attention. “here, take my leftover lunch. i don’t know how mom expects me to eat red beans everyday.”
speaking of…
mi-ae leaves moonk and rummages through the cabinet for bandages. they’re the really small kind, so she has to put multiple on until her legs are covered in pororo-themed bandages. she gets a little choked up looking at them, so she turns back her attention to moonk, who’s finished with her bowl. she’s lying on her back, completely stuffed like the glutton she is. “i’m glad one of us is satisfied,” mi-ae says, scratching her belly.
she remembers when dad first got moonk. mom was completely opposed, but the moment mi-ae saw one-year-old moonk, she fell in love. moonk rolls over and looks at mi-ae, and then she tucks her ears and starts whimpering.
“what’s wrong?” she asks. moonk cautiously licks mi-ae knees, and makes a sad rumble in the back of her throat. mi-ae jolts in surprise. it feels like she’s been dunked in ice water, and all she can do is stare at her fingers until they blur. she gathers moonk in her arms and squeezes tightly, trying not to cry.
“it doesn’t even matter,” she whimpers. “i’ve met plenty of guys like that. i don’t even care. i don’t,” she tells moonk, or maybe herself. moonk only licks her cheek in response.
she’s overreacting. it’s just height. it’s just…
she glances at the bandages, then rubs away her tears. “it’s stupid,” she says, and leaves it at that.
vi.
“a swivel chair,” she gushes. although its by the dumpster, it looks in good condition and big enough for her to use. she tucks the trash bag under her arm, tightens her hold on moonk’s leash, and walks towards it. “it’s a swivel…”
a rustling noise cuts her off.
frightened, mi-ae scoops up moonk and ducks behind the wall. it’s so dark outside she can’t make out the figure clearly until they step into the light. to her surprise, its just a boy dumping a box full of junk. she exhales shakily. “that scared me…” then she frowns, because something about the boy nags her. she peeks her head out carefully.
it’s him. the boy from the countryside. what was his name again…? he’s the one throwing away the swivel chair, and mi-ae eyes him skeptically. it doesn’t make sense to trash something so valuable, doesn’t he know that he’s lucky to have something like that…?
he crouches next to the box, and stares at it for a moment before wiping his eyes. then he buries his head in between his knees and doesn’t move. mi-ae sweatdrops; should she really be watching this? moonk growls and wiggles in her hold, but mi-ae pays her no mind. she’s trying to remember his name. it was… her mind goes blank. it’s deep in her mind, and if she thinks really hard a few syllables crop up, but nothing concrete. he’s sunjeong’s little brother, and that’s all she can remember.
in any case, he needs to move so she can get a closer look at the chair. why isn’t he leaving? it’s her chance to—
woof!
mi-ae’s eyes blow wide open. the boy startles. “hey, stop it!” she yells, but moonk keeps barking, each time louder than the rest. “hey, what the…moonk! moonk, stop…!” she’s mortified as the boy notices her hiding behind the wall. it must be weird, since she’s been staring at him for so long, and she can see his mouth twist into a grimace when he comes to the same conclusion.
he springs up so suddenly mi-ae flinches, and frantically wipes his eyes. he squints. “who are you?”
mi-ae laughs nervously. “uh, well…” how’s she supposed to explain herself? he’s her neighbor, and the last thing she wants him to remember her by is her accidentally spying. but before she can find the words, moonk leaps out her hands and sprints towards the boy. she runs around his leg, claws at his sweatpants, and wiggles at his feet, barking happily all the while.
“moonk, what are you doing?” if mi-ae was mortified before, she wants to disintegrate now. the boy flounders, shocked at her behavior, and mi-ae doesn’t blame him. still, this isn’t how she wanted things to go. “stop it. come here, leave him alone—!” she runs after moonk and grabs her from the boy. “sorry! are you okay?” she asks, but he just stares at her. the awkward silence settles under her skin uncomfortably. so mi-ae breaks the ice. after all this, she should at least say hi. “it’s—it’s been a long time, hasn’t it? we’ve met before…do you remember me?”
it’s the first time she’s seen him this close since the day he arrived at baekje. he narrows his eyes, but doesn’t say anything. standing closer to him, the height difference becomes apparent. he’s so tall her neck hurts from looking up. he was tall when he was younger too. it’s hard to believe he’s a middle schooler.
“um, i remember you. from school. and the countryside,” she says, but he continues to stare. mi-ae squirms under his gaze. so awkward…! “are you on trash duty too—huh?”
up close, mi-ae notices how puffy and red his eyes are, and the faded scar sitting under his right eye. her memories of the countryside are foggy, but was this what he looked like…? “by the way, why are your eyes…”
at her question, he starts wiping his eyes again, and looks almost like he’s going to…he turns away from her suddenly, but the abrupt spin makes his foot slip out of his shoe, and he falls face flat onto the asphalt.
mi-ae blanches. “huh?! are you okay?”
he mumbles something, but she can’t hear. “are you hurt anywhere? oh no! i’m sorry! here’s your shoe!” she picks up his shoe, which dwarfs her hand.
he snatches it from her in the blink of an eye, then springs to his feet and briskly walks away. mi-ae sweatdrops. what the…
he wobbles around the corner of the dumpster, confusing mi-ae. “that’s not where your house is!” she yells, but he ignores her, and disappears behind the corner. “why’s he going that way? he must be in shock!” she tucks moonk in her jacket and tries to run after him. “hey! i’m sorry! moonk surprised you, didn’t she? she’s not normally like this!” but it’s no use. mi-ae stops and scratches her head in confusion. she glares at moonk. “why did you do that?! you keep eating insects and refuse to follow my orders. i don’t like you these days.”
moonk only nips her jacket in response, tugging it towards the front. “what are you doing now…” mi-ae trails off as she looks in front and finds the boy’s shoe laying discarded.
oh.
“what am i supposed to do with this…?” mi-ae looks at moonk, the shoe, and then moonk again, and sighs.
(in any case, she hopes they won’t end up in the same class.)
…
the warning bell rings, and mi-ae sprints. how’d she wake up so late? other students scramble to their class, so thankfully she’s not the only one. “i’m not late yet!” she declares and blows past them and up the stairs. class 12 is just on the right, and she skids around the corner—
—only to bump into the boy from yesterday. his eyes widen and mi-ae stiffens; she never knows what to do around him. and more importantly, why’s he standing outside her classroom? it couldn’t be…? she thinks, but 3-12 is definitely her class. it couldn’t be his too. the boy nearly breaks his neck looking at the sign, and the look of resignation that follows tells mi-ae that it could, in fact, be his classroom too. buddha, why?! it can’t be true, no way…!
he sighs heavily, then walks inside the classroom. every head turns towards him, and the class goes silent, save for the few whispers.
“we’re screwed.” “why is he in our class?” “hey, he’s the one who was forced to transfer—”
the boy pays no mind, heading to his seat and putting in his earbuds. mi-ae tiptoes in after him and rushes to her friends’ table. they try and fail at holding back their snickers.
“you two are really in the same class!” yoonhee says. “what are you gonna do?”
“unbelievable!”
“hey, hey, stop laughing!”
mi-ae had wished as hard as she did, because being in the same class as this boy was something big due to all their history together. mi-ae can’t tell if there’s an elaborate plan to humiliate her, but if there is, it’s working. at least they don’t have to sit together.
and then the teacher makes them draw lots to make a seating arrangement.
mi-ae gets 25, which is nowhere near her friends, to her disappointment. it’s all the way in back too, and the kids sitting in front are definitely taller than she is. still, things could be worse. she puts her backpack down on her desk. she could be sitting next to…
the class goes silent suddenly, and mi-ae looks up.
it’s the boy again. and his backpack is on the desk next to mi-ae’s.
“huh?” she looks at her card, and double-checks it to make sure she didn’t get the number wrong. “huh?” the boy looks as shocked as her, holding a card that says 26. there’s no way. mi-ae looks at her card, then looks at the board, where 25 and 26 are in fact, next to each other.
mi-ae looks at him weakly.
“what’s taking you two so long? sit down!” the teacher reprimands, and then pauses at something on her clipboard. her eyebrows raise. “by the way, your names are number 40, hwang mi-ae, and…number 7, kim cheol. oh my goodness,” she says, chuckling. “you two! you’re cheol and mi-ae!”
the whole class stares at them, and in that moment, mi-ae realizes that this year is going to be a trainwreck.
<a convergence>
vii.
hwang mi-ae, ever so often, writes something down, mulls over it, and then erases. like clockwork, she continues this infuriating cycle, which does cheol no good considering this reading selection has him stumped. he’s nearly about to ask her to quit it when she slides her notebook over to his desk. in the corner, erase marks and smudges surround a scribbled message.
m: wanna study for the practice exams together?
what? cheol glances at hwang mi-ae, and she flashes a bright smile right back. what is she saying? is she doing this because sunjeong put her up to it yesterday at the ice cream store? he pushes the notebook and turns back to his work. he’s just going to ignore it. eventually she’ll stop—
hwang mi-ae slides her notebook back over. underneath the previous message is another one circled in red pen twice.
m: let’s study together!
she flips the page over, revealing a giant let’s do it!! in the center of the page. seriously, what’s with this girl… he pushes her notebook back once again, and the scribbling starts up again. he trembles in anger, genuinely upset. “ugh, man…,” he starts, about to snap at her for real when she slides over her notebook again.
m: doesn’t it hurt where you were scratched? everyone says you got it in the fight, but I don't believe that.
it says, and underneath sits a bandage.
(“did you scratch your cheek?”)
the anger dissipates instantly. he shoves the notebook back over, and calmly says, “stop it now.” he doesn’t know why she would suggest such a thing, but it looks like she was just being impulsive.
she leaves him alone for the rest of the class period, and as soon as class is over, cheol heads home to study. there’s no room for anything except for what’s important to him right now. he doesn’t need to entertain minor distractions. he turns the corner…and standing there is hwang mi-ae.
“hey—!”
cheol yelps in surprise. “argh! what’s with you?! what the hell are you doing here? are you following me home? this is ridiculous!”
“ridiculous? you said you’re gonna hit the books hard now, right? i need to study hard too! so let’s study together! we should try and get along! yeah?”
what’s wrong with this girl? she’s seriously weird, and then she ducks behind the wall when a lady walks by; it’s even weirder. she smiles at him without a care in the world.
“wow, that caught me by surprise! someone could have seen us!”
cheol frowns. “if you’re so anxious about being seen together, why are you talking to me? and i told you not to act like you know me. don’t you remember?”
“when did i act like i knew you? i know you!” she yells confidently. “i’ve known you since we were young. i’m not just acting like it!” her logic makes his head throb, and cheol suddenly feels exhausted.
“stop being weird. go home,” he says, and starts walking away.
“and what do you mean i’m anxious? do i seem anxious to you?”
“yeah, i’m near baekje middle school. just hang up now.”
cheol freezes at the voice, because he recognizes it. it’s inuk, tae-uk’s lackey.
“woah! what the hell?” hwang mi-ae exclaims, and cheol’s stomach does a flip when he realizes she’s not gone. “why did you suddenly—”
“you, go home,” he says, pushing her in the direction of her house.
“huh? no! let’s study together!” she plants her feet in the ground and resists his pushes. “and stop pushing me!”
“fine,” he grits out. “let’s study!” he picks her up and carries her all the way to his house, and exhales in relief.
“wow! you have a nice house! your building is similar to mine but your place is totally different. there’s so much stuff! ah, is this your room—?”
cheol yanks her back before she can enter, and sits her down at the table. “if you came to study, be quiet and study,” he scolds. hwang mi-ae sits at the table subdued like a kicked puppy.
she takes out a huge textbook, which is probably why her bag felt heavy on the way here. cheol brings out his own and starts studying quietly, and so does she, for a while. but the silence is too loud, and mi-ae opens her mouth again.
“did your grades improve? my mom wants me to go to samguk high school. how am i supposed to go there? it’s funny, right? where do you want to go—?’
“stop chatting and get to work.”
“you act just like my mom,” she pouts, but obliges. it’s quiet and peaceful finally, so he can finally focus—
“hey, where do you go every day? aren’t you going out today?”
cheol sighs. “how’s that your business? just study quietly—”
the phone rings, and cheol’s eye twitches. he quickly answers it, then returns to the table. she stares at him eagerly.
“we got a landline in our house recently too! we used a cord phone for a while. hey, do you have a cell phone? or a pager? a lot of people have those now. do you know yoonhee? she has one. I tried asking mom for one, but she says it’s not like i’m doing business with it, so why would i need one? but the kids in our school aren’t doing business either. hey, can i have a cup of water? where are your cups…”
cheol tunes the rest of her words out, and comes to the sobering realization that there is no end to this girl’s train of thought. “leave if you’re not going to study.”
“huh? i will, i will. i’m gonna do it!”
he eyes her skeptically, but the rest of the time passes by smoothly. she’s a little scary when she focused, he surmises, then watches how she knocks over a cup when she celebrates finishing a passage. she’s a lot clumsy too. “i’ll—”
“it’s fine.” he starts wiping down the mess, and mi-ae goes off on a tangent that started about water and has come to calligraphy and banchan.
“your mom came over to our house for the weekend!” she says, and he flinches. “i should’ve given the shoe to her then!”
“hey…what you saw at the trash site…”
“the trash site? where you fell over and cried?”
cheol glares at her.
“don’t tell anyone about that.”
“but why?”
“just don’t, can you do that?”
“yeah! alright! it’s because you’re big and tall, so people don’t understand that you can cry too! i wouldn’t like that either. seriously, some of the rumors i hear at school are ridiculous…i mean, what type of gangster goes home to study?” she asks, springing to her feet.
(“are you a gangster? why would you do this? why?”)
cheol frowns at the unexpected memory. it’s not like he doesn’t know what people say about him, but…he can’t let himself care. and anyways…if she hears them, shouldn’t that be enough to scare her away?
(irrational.)
he must be glowering, because she looks at his face and backtracks. “ah, not that i’m saying you’re a gangster!” she says, taking a step back.
and then, she slips on some water and falls backwards.
“ack, what are you—!” cheol dives for her, catching her head so it doesn’t bang against the floor. seriously, she’s so clumsy…! “pay more attention to your surroundings—!”
“woah.”
cheol whips his head around to gape at sunjeong, who’s standing at the door, taking in their compromising position. he can practically see the thought formulate in her head. “kids these days move fast. i think you’re a little too young for that, but i’ll be cheering you on! be happy!” she gives them a thumbs up, and cheol’s face burns in embarrassment. hwang mi-ae stares at sunjeong with big, innocent eyes through it all, as if she wasn’t the reason for this in the first place.
he feels his anger rise.
“it’s not what you think!” he shouts, but the damage has been done.
(in the end, he kicks hwang mi-ae out of his house.)
viii.
“we decided to do the homework together, so we should do it together!” mi-ae yells.
“are you two going to do homework together?” mom says, popping out from nowhere. “great timing. come and get the side dish containers from our house.”
“huh? ah, no!” if it’s so sudden like this then… cheol hasn’t even responded yet. “no! we’re not doing homework!”
“come quick. take the side dishes i made too.”
“i said we’re not doing it!” she protests, but mom blows right past her, corralling the two of them inside.
“i have plans so i’ll be going out, okay? take the side dishes with you, cheol!” she says, and leaves soon after, leaving mi-ae alone with cheol.
this isn’t how she planned for things to turn out, not one bit! and yet, he’s still standing in the living room, looking at mi-ae silently like he always does. she suddenly feels awkward. “d–do you have the homework with you?”
“yeah.”
“then sit over there.” she points to the dining table, then retreats to her room. “and don’t come into my room!” she flicks on the light switch, but her room stays dark.
“what the…this thing, it’s dead!”
“don’t you have any lightbulbs in the house?”
mi-ae nearly jumps out her skin at cheol’s voice. didn’t she tell him not to come into her room? “no, it’s fine! we’re gonna do it in the kitchen anyway,” she says, but somehow, she ends up holding the light cover as cheol gets on a chair and examines the worn-out bulb. it’s embarrassing enough that mom forced him into coming, and now he’s fixing her light! and…her room is so plain, save for the singular movie poster she got from jihye, her textbooks, cheol’s swivel chair, and cheol’s shoe. thinking about him seeing those last two things in particular makes her feel a bit…
“hey! thank you for protecting me from that ball!” she blurts out. he looks a little taken aback, but mumbles a thank you in response anyways. “and uh, remember when the video machine broke? dad bought another used one! what if that one breaks too? do you want to take your shoe when you go? oh, but you need to wash it some more. the last time you were here, you shook the whole place and the ink fell on the shoe! although i guess it wasn’t your fault the ink was there… oh and—”
a loud rumble cuts her off, and then the lights turn off completely, leaving them in pitch dark.
“what the…? that must have flipped the breaker!” mi-ae flounders in the dark, trying to find the door so she can turn it back on. she can’t see more than a foot in front of her, and jams her leg against her chair leg, the dresser, and nearly trips over her feet before stomping on something squishy.
“what was—”
cheol lets out a piercing shriek, and then the squishy thing yanks out from under her feet.
mi-ae loses her balance and falls with a loud crash. although, it doesn’t hurt as much as she expects it to. she slowly opens her eyes, and comes face to face with cheol, who she’s landed on. she’s caught herself on his chest, holding his shoulder to steady herself. “are you okay—?!”
the lightning flashes again. her apartment trembles.
she doesn’t know exactly what to say. in fact, this whole situation is so embarrassing, like something out of the romance novels she reads. he continues to stare dumbfounded at her with those piercing dark eyes, the ones everyone seems to fear so much. in the dark, they look pitch black, but if she moves closer, she can see the purple shimmering in his iris. “so pretty,” she mumbles thoughtlessly.
cheol’s eyebrows shoot up into his hairline.
mi-ae freezes, shocked by her words. it hadn’t meant to slip out.
thunder booms distantly.
but…thinking about it too much makes her want to shrivel up and melt into the floor, and besides, a compliment is a compliment, right? it doesn’t mean anything. no, not even if she’s practically on top of him, so close their noses are practically touching and his breath is tickling her ear…
<the sun experiences a solar flare>
(no matter which way you look at it, it’s weird!)
“you—”
“hey, let’s be friends, cheol!” she interrupts. its the first thing that comes to mind, and well, she doesn’t want to hear his response to the comment. (somehow, she thinks it might end up hurting her feelings.) her question isn’t entirely random; after all, they’re in this situation because she’d made it her mission to befriend him. while growing up in this neighborhood, she’s never had any trouble making friends. mi-ae got along well with the kids that liked her and ignored those who tried to pick on her.
but, when it comes to kim cheol, it’s different. he’s difficult, bothersome, and picky. he’s always rejecting her requests to hang out and ignoring her whenever she tries to talk to him. but it’s not like he’s rude to everybody. no, he accepted song-i’s bread, and he plays soccer with jungwook and big ears. it’s just her. and something about that makes mi-ae want to try even harder.
she will make him her friend, one way or the other.
cheol meets her expectant gaze, mouth gaping like a fish, then slowly and breathlessly, he stammers out, “uh…s–sure.”
victory! mi-ae beams. “really?! awesome!” she throws her arms around him. “no take backs either!”
(friends?)
ix.
cheol sprints along the track, eager to get the ten laps over with. the heat is unbearable, he didn’t bring the right shoes to run in, and he’s missing class. mi-ae’s close behind, panting heavily and complaining loudly.
“why…do…i have to run… in the...morning! it’s hot out! hey, did you see his face?”
“i didn’t!”
“you…didn’t? but you ran…so fast after…him. you nearly…knocked over the teacher! nothing? not the headset? or the bag?”
“i don’t remember!”
“why don’t you remember?”
“because i didn’t see!” he snaps. “why’d you let him steal your nametag anyway?!”
“it’s not my fault! hey, wait for me!”
“why should i wait for you? this is your fault.”
“please…wait! let’s…go…together, cheol!”
(“cheol, don’t leave me!”)
cheol sighs. really, she’s so… he brings down his speed enough for her to catch up.
“hey, how many laps do you have left? i have one more.”
cheol sighs again.
(just a typical day.)
…
he puts his head under the tap, letting out a relieved sigh once the cool water hits. it’s the beginning of june, and it’s too hot. when it’s too hot, it messes with his head, and he ends up doing things like chasing after nametag thieves.
“boys are so lucky. they get to take off their shirt if they’re hot. it’s really no fair.”
that’s what you’re thinking about…?
“it’s really no fair…” she side-eyes the tap not-so-sneakily. cheol immediately catches onto her plans. “i’m going to splash you—”
cheol cups the tap, angling the stream towards mi-ae.
she shrieks as the water blasts her. “ugh, what the? that’s cheating, no fair!”
“there’s no such thing as cheating. wasn’t this what you were going to do to me?”
“hey, wait, time out, time out! urgh! i can splash back too!” she uses the water in the basin to splash cheol back, and they dissolve into a water fight. it’s incredibly childish, but it’s also…fun. (like he said, it’s the heat.)
and then mi-ae looks down. water drips down her shirt, revealing her…
(oh.)
cheol chokes on his spit.
“uh, the uh, the water…i didn’t know that it would… um…” she doesn’t respond to his word-vomit, staring at him blankly. “your clothes…they…um…” he stammers, trying to look anywhere but her soaked shirt. “l–let’s cover it up quickly. it’s the middle of class, so nobody’s watching us. um, the back of school is sunnier, and…well…just take this!" he throws his uniform onto her head haphazardly. she's still not saying anything, and it makes cheol squirm seeing her so emotionless and non-reactive.
he reaches to adjust his shirt on her, but when his hands brush against her wet shirt, he retracts them dizzyingly fast. he groans internally, somehow he always ends up in the most embarrassing, unpredictable situations whenever he's with her. "w–well? what are you doing? hurry up and put it on and come with me—oof!"
mi-ae headbutts his stomach hard, knocking all the air out out of him. trembling, cheol clutching his stomach. “what—!”
her piercing green eyes gleam in the sunlight as she spits out, "you pervert."
cheol gapes at her. his uniform lays discarded at her feet. “wh–who’s the pervert…?! i was just trying to help.”
mi-ae doesn’t even spare him a glance as she spins on her heels and zooms inside the school building. cheol blanches. “hey! why are you going in there? hey, mi-ae, wait—!” he grabs his shirt and chases after her, careful to run on the side of his feet to not make noise.
“are you going to class like that?” he whispers, trying to wrap his shirt around her. her shirt is still damp and see-through, so anyone could stumble upon them and see her—her… “hey! stop running away! just cover up with this for now,” he hisses.
mi-ae huffs. “i’m not doing that, pervert. i’m going to dry myself on the back, so just go away!”
she stomps towards the back door, ranting thoughtlessly when cheol notices a group of boys heading out that exact same way. his stomach plummets. “wait—mi-ae!” he says.
“...stop making a fuss—”
(ugh.)
cheol takes measures into his own hands. he bundles her in his shirt, drags them behind the stairwell, and pushes her behind his back before the boys can see her.
mi-ae wiggles against his hold, protesting profusely. “hey, let me go!”
“there are people here, just stay still!” he whispers, annoyed. does she want to get caught?
“what are they even, cheol and mi-ae? are they really going out?” “ah, crap. i hope not. i think lucifer kinda hates me. if they’re going out then…”
it’s too late to get away at this point, so cheol opts for leaning against the wall nonchalantly while they pass by. (if he puts a little force into it so it catches them off guard, that’s no one’s business.) “what is it?” he interrupts, coming face-to-face with the jerk that gave mi-ae the bruise on her neck. he glowers at the boy. “lucifer what?”
the boy squeaks at his animosity. good, cheol thinks cynically. “u–uh, cheol…what’s up?” he asks sheepishly. “why are you standing there, shouldn’t you be in class?”
shouldn’t you? “i came inside to cool down. i was doing laps.”
“oh, that’s right! i heard you got caught by the teacher this morning. we were just talking about, which is why we said your name. we didn’t mean it in a bad way. we’re sorry if you feel bad…”
“it’s—”
mi-ae presses her wet back against cheol’s, and he suppresses a flinch, trying not to focus on the sensation. if she doesn’t stop moving, then they’ll get caught, and he won’t be the only pervert between them.
“eek! no, no, don’t be mad,” the boy pleads, trembling in his shoes. the reaction is confusing…until cheol realizes he’s furrowed his eyebrows. “we were just talking because we were curious, i mean, not just us but everyone really…” what is he talking about…
“you know, about you and mi-ae. that maybe you’re going out with that little—”
cheol’s eye twitches. “what. what do you mean, going out?” the longer this conversation drags on, the more he finds his irritation rising. not to mention he’s missing class because of these idiots, and mi-ae still needs to change before she gets a cold. a cold, cheol? what is he, her parent?
(anyways.)
“we’re not going out.” so just shut up.
the boy and his friends laugh weakly. “o–oh, i see…i knew the rumors couldn’t be true! you’re just being nice because she’s your deskmate, right? i heard she’s always in your face, bothering you.”
cheol reels, taken-back. “what?”
he leans in closer and lowers his voice. “you know, how she’s always messing around and acting like an obnoxious little kid. that’s why there are rumors like that going around. why are you just taking it? if it was me, i’d just…well, nevermind.” he looks at cheol expectantly, as if he’s supposed to agree, but all cheol feels is nausea at the things he’s saying.
“anyways, everyone’s saying how it’s pitiful you have to put up with her,” he says, and cheol gets genuinely angry. mi-ae may be unnecessarily stubborn sometimes, or hyperactive, or just plain weird, but she’s never a nuisance, like jinseop or even worse, tae-uk. but the worse part is that she’s right behind him, hearing every single word.
“who says that?” he asks coldly.
“eh?”
“tell me, who says that?”
“no, no! we’re just saying we think people say that! maybe they all think like that…is what i think… i mean, you and that little kid are always—”
"not little kid,” cheol interrupts, pissed off. “mi-ae."
“what?”
cheol raises to his full height, and looks down on the boy. “hwang mi-ae,” he repeats firmly. "and watch what you say."
(“no, no, no! that’s not it! he didn’t hit me, teacher. he doesn’t do stuff like that!” she yells, and steps in front of cheol. “he’s my friend.”)
because no matter how frustrating she is… "she's my friend," he finishes, and mi-ae stills behind him.
(it’s all said and done now.)
the boy’s eyebrows shoot up. “u–uh…o–okay!” he laughs nervously, elbowing his friends so they too laugh along. cheol knew they would be caught off guard, which is why he said it, because if there’s one thing he despises the most, it’s gossip. “r-right, we’ll be careful. then, we’ll go up the stairs first…”
they try to go to the stairwell behind, but cheol steps in front of them before they can go further. “isn’t it faster for you to go that way?” he tilts his head towards another stairwell at the very end of the hallway.
the boy and his friends stare at cheol in confusion. “what…? why would we…”
cheol raises an eyebrow and the boy flinches. “o-oh, that’s right! you’re so thoughtful!” he backs up. “then we’ll go! see ya!” he says, and runs away down the hallway with haste. once they disappear down the hallway, the full weight of his actions hits him like a truck.
what… was that? what did i just do? why did he say they were friends? it’s unbelievable, lucifer befriending a girl half his size. why’d that come out of my mouth? but… he had to say something, though. he was saying some really bad stuff, and it’s not like cheol could just hit him… that was the only possible action he could have taken. nothing else. but now, she’s going to make a huge deal out of this… he can already imagine how obnoxious she’ll be about the whole thing. i need to keep her quiet. he heads around the corner.“hey, they’re gone. you can come out now. forget about what they said…mmph!”
she throws his shirt back on his face.”hey, what the hell…?”
“i’m going up to dry, so you should just go to class.”
“what? hey, wait…!”
she stops momentarily. “why? you wanna watch, pervert?” she says coldly, and her reaction throws him for a loop. firstly, after she watched him change through her window, he’s the pervert? and secondly, he thought she would have been more…happy? she doesn’t even realize how much courage it took to say what he did.
(however, if he had looked behind him at that moment, he would have seen the touched look on her face.)
but before he can respond, she slips out the back door.
(a speedy turn of the tables.)
x.
“cheol! mi-ae! you two!” honggyu yells, pointing between the two of them. “are you dating? are you married? do you like each other? do you love each other?”
“why would i date..?!” mi-ae and cheol yell, so loud that a group of gamers nearby stare at them in shock. mi-ae glares at big ears; why is he trying to start something out of nowhere?
mi-ae shakes her head profusely and turns to cheol. no, no, there’s just no way. they’re friends, and nothing more. “it’s not like that…” she tries to say, but trails off as his dark eyes meet hers. that’s not it, it’s just that… she holds his gaze for a moment too long, and then her stomach somersaults. she doesn’t even understand why the words come out, after all, they did agree to be friends, and that was all, despite the flutter she gets whenever she’s close to him—
(what?)
overwhelmed, mi-ae looks away…only to come face to face with johan, who’s staring at her with suspicion. mi-ae flinches. what…? she turns her head away, only to meet the confused gazes of jungwook and honggyu. what…!
honggyu frowns. “what is it? why can’t you answer?” he demands. “are you two for real?”
with every word her face grows hot. “it’s not like that! there’s nothing special between us, no way.” she elbows cheol. “hey! you speak up too! like each other? nonsense…”
(“look over there! it’s your boyfriend!” “then are you two going out?” “it’s cheol and mi-ae from class twelve!”)
with the memory, she nearly combusts there and then. that’s not it, it’s not! she shakes her vehemently. why does everyone keep saying that they’re dating?! and what’s wrong with big ears? why’d he attack her out of nowhere? since the very first time they met, honggyu has been harassing her about her relationship with cheol. mi-ae cringes; does he have a crush or something? that would be silly, and it’s just possible they knew each other at goguryeo and he’s jealous because cheol has a new friend. she feels strange about the possibility, because…
(“does cheol have a boyfriend?” the girl asks, smiling bashfully.)
her face flushes. what is she thinking? they’re just friends. honggyu and cheol. and her and cheol. nothing more.
“why do you like hanging out with peanut?” honggyu yells. “what’s so fun about it? you two really don’t look good together, you know that?”
cheol frowns. “hey, quit it.”
he stares at cheol in disbelief. “you’re going to take her side again? why are you like that with her, cheol?!”
sides? how childish. irritation flares in her stomach at honggyu’s tantrum. she can’t understand it. is it jealousy? or something else? she grabs cheol’s hand and raises it into the air as much as her arm can extend. “it’s because we’re friends!” she declares, and watches big ears’s jaw drop. “right?” she says, staring intensely at cheol. “right? right?”
sweat runs down his forehead, and mi-ae feels kind of guilty, since cheol hates being put on the spot, but the urge to prove honggyu wrong is too strong. “um, y–yeah. we’re…friends…” he mumbles, so quietly no one could hear, but mi-ae’s not concerned with that. no, because at the end of the day…cheol actually admitted to them that they’re…
mi-ae grins smugly, resisting the urge to blow a raspberry at honggyu. “hah, you see?! he’s my black knight and my friend! so don’t try to pick a fight.”
honggyu glowers at mi-ae, but before he can retaliate, jungwook slings an arm around him and cheol. “hey, now…we’re all friends here, right? all of us in class s should get along!”
“i totally agree,” mi-ae says sweetly to rile up big ears. “friends don’t start arguments.”
“are you kidding me right now?” he asks, but mi-ae pays him no mind, because in the very back, is taegwang, who’s effortlessly playing the game they all suck at. she grins devilishly.
(a new sub.)
“time out, time out! i wanna change subs!” she says. “hey taegwang!” she beckons him closer. with this trump card… “help us win, just this once!” she pleads.
taegwang pushes up his glasses. “all right, i accept this battle!”
(like a cartoon!)
mi-ae wriggles her eyebrows. “are you going to quit now, honggyu?”
“never. no matter how any people you bring, you still won’t win, mi-ae. let’s just get this over with.”
(round 4: go taegwang vs. bae honggyu. to put it simply, honggyu loses. very badly!)
honggyu storms out of the arcade. witnessing the anger on his face is so satisfying after all the annoying things he said earlier, and before he goes mi-ae yells, “hey, big ears, are you pissed because you lost?”
“arrgh! just go away, mi-ae! and who are you calling big ears, peanut…!”
“don’t cry when you get home! just stick to collecting crappy stickers!” she yells, and laughs triumphantly. honggyu shoots her one last glare before he walks away with jungwook.
now it’s just her her and cheol, alone. the adrenaline exits her body instantly, leaving her slightly guilty. big ears is cheol’s friend too, at the end of the day. “i think he’s really pissed off! you should make him feel better!” she pats cheol on the back solemnly. “good luck!” cheol sighs and rubs his temples.
“what’s he so mad about anyway? why’s he so mad we’re friends.” she turns to cheol. “we’re friends, right? am i the only one who thinks we are? hm, no? hmmm—”
“sure,” cheol finally says. he pulls his cap down to cover his face, but mi-ae can see the blush creeping up his neck. “we’re…friends, me and you. happy?”
<the sun celebrates.>
“i’m so happy! you finally admitted it with your own mouth! no take backs for real this time. no sneaking around others anymore or ignoring each other in class.”
(she will make him her friend, one way or the other.
cheol meets her expectant gaze, mouth gaping like a fish, then slowly and breathlessly, he stammers out, “uh…s–sure.”)
“pinky swear,” she insists.
cheol raises an eyebrow. “this again? what kind of promise is this?” he protests, but mi-ae flashes him her best puppy dog eyes until he resigns. with a exasperated huff, he wraps his pinky around hers. “there.”
“and stamp it!” mi-ae says, pressing her thumb to his. “we’re really friends now, okay? forever!”
“fine. forever. happy?”
mi-ae doesn’t answer him with words. instead, she practically jumps on him and wraps her arms around his torso the farthest it will go. she’s just so happy that all her hard work has paid off. finally, after so long, he admitted that they’re friends without the threat of miscommunication or gossip hanging over their head. cheol’s entire body tenses in response, but he doesn’t push her off like she expects him to. come to think of it, that day, in cram school, when she gave him a koala hug, he didn’t push her off either.
his eyes soften ever so slightly. “if you were going to hug me anyway, why pinky swear?”
“don’t sweat the small things, cheol. just enjoy the moment.”
“you’re making me do some weird stuff again,” he says, but returns the hug anyway. it’s the first time he’s showed any type of affection towards her willingly, and the thought causes an involuntary smile to spread across her face.
(“hey, cheol, wait! let’s be friends!”)
“why are you smiling?”
“nothing, nothing.”
“mi-ae.”
“alright, alright. it’s just…i’m really glad i met you, kim cheol," she says, knocking the air out of his lungs. a bubbly sensation rises in his stomach, and cheol tries to push it down, but then she continues. "four years ago in the countryside, even though you kept denying me, and now, even after weeks of trying to crack through that thick shell.”
(he doesn’t know what to think. he doesn’t know what to say. but really, there is only one thing to say. despite the mistake he made at goguryeo, his frightening height, his gruff voice, she chased after him.)
<and the moon softens.>
he shouldn't admit it, since her ego would swell even larger, but it's hard to ignore how she's become such a natural part of his life. he put on an unfazed persona once he transferred to baekje, terrified that things would be a repeat of gogyureo. that he would make one wrong step, say one thing too loud, and end up proving to everyone—the school, dad, and himself—that he's just rotten to his core. like lucifer. like a devil. and then she asked to be his friend, and cheol found himself smiling more, frowning less, and less conscious of himself around others, because she had his back. mi-ae is his friend. and for that… cheol puts his hands on his hips and sighs in resignation. “i'm…glad I met you too."
the rain stops. mi-ae beams, rainbows exuding from her smile. "really?! man, cheol…you're just the best!"
he turns away, trying to conceal his flushed cheeks.
(it’s 1999, and the final year of the century is half complete.)