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Sometimes one single decision can impact the complete rest of your life.
In Chishiya's case, it was his decision to stick to Arisu's little group after the Ten of Hearts game. He was more or less forced to spend time with them, with Arisu – or Ryouhei, as he called him nowadays – and helplessly fell for him.
It had happened slowly, probably, but the realization had hit him as suddenly as the meteor had hit Shibuya Station.
In Borderland, as they had dubbed it – them being Kuina, Usagi, Arisu and himself – it wasn't hard to justify the crush, with their lives on the line on daily basis and barely time for reprieve. It was another thing after they woke up.
He had to stay in bed for a while with his wounds, with enough time to think about how to proceed. He could just act as if he didn't remember, like Niragi. Maybe Arisu did not remember for real, like Ann. He could play it off as a spur of the moment thing, the moment being weeks trapped in Borderland.
But after not being able to see Arisu for a whole week, he found he didn't want whatever relationship they had to stop. So, as soon as he was able to, he made his way to search for his maybe-boyfriend.
The room he should be in was empty, safe for what must be his brother, Hajime, if he remembered correctly from Arisu's tales. The younger man frowned darkly at him, looking rather pissed off as he was just gathering his things. Books and college brochures, one of them crumpled on the bed.
“If you've come to see him, he left with two women.” Hajime said in a still agitated voice, and then left the room with stomping steps.
Chishiya raised a brow at his retreating form and leaned against the doorframe. Should he wait here for Arisu? But he obviously just left, it could be hours till he returned. He'd bet anything that the two women were Usagi and Kuina.
He hadn't been allowed visitors for the week, which was mostly because Niragi was hurt badly enough and had to rest constantly. But he was sure the others had heard about him being alright from the nurse. He'd known her since he interned in this hospital a while ago.
He slowly walked the hallways, seeing several familiar faces but ignoring them in favor of searching his friends. As expected, he found them outside in the hospital's patients garden, all of them in comfortable lounge wear, sitting in the shade of a tree.
They all had brightened at seeing him, even if Arisu had an anxious air about him, and welcomed him in their circle as if nothing had changed.
“Ugh, I have to get back now. Check-up soon. I promised the nurse to be back by then.” Usagi said after about an hour of chatting about pointless things, using crutches to stand. “Or she'll ban me to the wheelchair again.”
“I'll come with you, mom is going to come visit around three anyways.” Kuina stood too, a little sturdier after a week of healing.
The two boys watched them leave, and there was a bout of silence until Arisu spoke up. “We... we should get you back, too. You probably aren't allowed to roam around much, right?”
“I'll go back soon. We have some time.” Chishiya said. “I wanted to talk to you.”
Somehow, the words had Arisu shrink a little, shoulders drooping minimally. But he smiled at the shorter man. “It's okay. I know it's... I mean, I know it was just a 'we might die soon'-thing. Don't worry about it.” He averted his gaze, smiling tightly at the grass. “But I do hope we can stay friends? I've already traded contact info with them.” He gestured to where their female friends had went off to.
There it was. Arisu was giving him the opportunity to just leave it be, without having to feel bad. Self-sacrificing idiot. “I wasn't going to say that.” He voiced calmly, hand reaching out to cover Arisu's. The younger man looked up at him in surprise. “I actually want to keep us going.”
Arisu watched him for a few moments, probably trying to assess how serious Chishiya was, but then his eyes began watering and he quickly wiped at them, a happy smile tugging at his lips though. He looked as if a gigantic weight had fallen from his shoulders, as if he's been monumentally scared of losing Chishiya.
It's been a hassle, they both still had a lot of healing to do, Chishiya a little more than Arisu in the physical department at least, while Arisu had to fight his inner demons more.
The gamer was just too empathetic, and Borderland did leave mental scars on him, almost as bad ones as his fucked up family had. Too sensitive.
The doctors had written it off as a collective coma dream, as much of bullshit that sounded, no one would believe them anyways, so they had decided to not insist in that case. But while they all sometimes had nightmares, Arisu was hit the hardest with them.
Usagi told him when she visited the day she was allowed to leave, that he'd sometimes get that faraway look, lost inside his own head, lost inside his memories of that fucked up place and the twisted games and the losses they caused.
And as expected, his brother and father were not helping at all. Instead of being encouraging, simply being there for him, they seemed to keep nagging about how after such a near-death experience, he should finally start thinking about his future. While Arisu could sometimes bloom under pressure, it more often than not caused him to have panic attacks. Which he tended to play off. It agitated Chishiya, to learn just how much his so-called family had fucked him up. He was loathe to see him leave, to get back into that hellhole of a home.
As soon as Chishiya was released from hospital, he went looking for a bigger apartment. He could afford it, being so close to finishing university, even after having lost a few weeks due to healing. And seeing Arisu's awestruck expression, this adorably confused look he got, when he asked him to move in with him, was totally worth it.
Expectedly, Arisu's family made a fuss, blown a fuse, and threw whatever they knew would hurt the boy at him. Still the four of them had managed to get his stuff and transfer it to Chishiya's new apartment within a few hours.
Arisu had surprised him by getting a job at the nearby retail store so he could help with the rent. And during exam time, when Chishiya's been extra stressed, Arisu took over almost all of the chores, and began learning to cook. It was as if he was a different person, judging by what he told them his life was before.
Maybe it was the positive feedback and encouragement. Anyways, Chishiya wouldn't complain. He definitely appreciated the sentiment, proud that Arisu wanted to get his life going. He was trying so hard to hide his down phases, tried to keep a positive attitude, and sometimes he succeeded, when Chishiya was too tired after a long shift, for example.
Most times though, the now doctor saw through the put on smiles and almost desperate attempts to be even more helpful when he was already doing so much.
One time he cried in frustration and guilt after he missed making dinner (he's been sick and had fallen asleep late afternoon), so scared that Chishiya would be mad at him or throw him out. As if he would ever do that, but Arisu had a hard time believing his continuous reassurances after the disastrous parenting.
All in all, they made things work. Chishiya's been working at the pediatric ward in the nearby hospital for a year now, and life was good.
Funny that he was reminiscing about this right now, when he was checking a little girl's vitals while she was busy playing with a handheld game about collecting fruit. Maybe it was the way her tongue kept peeking out from where she pinched it with her front teeth, like Arisu's did when he was concentrating on something.
He didn't play as much anymore. Said the games became too violent for him, reminded him of back then.
He would have to see to get home on time tonight, because he really needed to talk to his boyfriend about his recent behavior. Being a doctor came with long work hours sometimes, and with how often Chishiya had to stay until late at night, Arisu had taken up a second job at a 24/7 diner just so he wouldn't have to be alone.
Even though by now Chishiya made enough money Arisu didn't strictly have to keep working, the younger insisted on doing so, supporting in any way he could. The suggestion to look for a job that he would actually like instead of wasting away where he wasn't happy had only gotten him a smile and a shake of his head, as if it was silly to think Arisu would be able to do something like that.
Anyways, getting back to the topic, the second job was too much. Chishiya could see it, how he was constantly fighting exhaustion. As Chishiya assumed, he was scared of being called useless or lazy by him. Which was both flattering and worrying. Hence the need to talk Arisu out of his current funk.
“Is everything okay?” The girl's mother asked, quite anxiously. Chishiya realized he's been frowning lightly at the thought of his reckless boyfriend.
He smiled encouragingly at the woman. “Everything seems to be fine. I'll keep her here for another two days, but if it stays like that we can release her before the weekend.”
He studiously ignored his colleague's stare as he put down the clipboard and left the room, Noriko hot on his heels. The tiny woman had been in his class, they had graduated university together and after a bad experience in another hospital, she recently started working here.
And according to her, he had changed so much. Apparently, he's been broody and cold during school time, and now he was a completely different person.
While he did come to like her company over time, he hated how she always wanted to pry into his private life. He couldn't care less what his coworkers thought about his choice of living or his boyfriend, it was just that it was called 'private' life for a reason.
“Are you coming to the break room too?”
“Not yet. I have to check on 206 first.”
“Ugh fine, I'll go ahead. I'm starving.”
Noriko was surprised to see someone standing in the open door, a tall man holding a bento box. He looked a little unsure, a little twitchy, if she had to name it.
“Hello, can I help you?” She asked when she got close enough.
The man jumped a little, but smiled at her and gosh, did he have a cute smile. Like a puppy, if puppies could smile.
“Hi. I, uh, Dr. Chishiya forgot his lunch at home. Could you maybe put it aside for him?” He held up the box, wrapped in a cloth littered with tiny cats. Cute.
“Oh sure! But if you give it another ten minutes he'll take his break too, if you want to wait for him.”
Arisu tensed a little, free hand rubbing at the back of his neck as he fidgeted lightly. “I- I don't really have that much time. If it's a bother for you I can just put it on the counter and text him.”
“No, no, no trouble at all.” Noriko was quick to assure, taking the sweetly wrapped box. “Do you know Chishiya well?”
“I'm his... roommate.”
“Roommate? Ah, so you do know him well enough. Does he have a girlfriend? Because he is so happy nowadays.”
“He... is?”
“For sure. I was in uni with him, he was always so cold and had this 'I don't care'-attitude during that time. I've lost touch with him for a while, and when I started working here I immediately noticed he has changed a lot.”
The boy did appear to blush at that, but smiled prettily. “It's good that he's happy, isn't it?”
“Sure it is. But I don't get how. Any girl insane enough to suffer his attitude I'll have to meet. She has to give me her secret.”
“He's not so bad, really.”
“So? He does have a girlfriend, right?”
“I don't think he'd appreciate it if I babbled about his private life.” The man shrugged and checked his watch. “It's been nice meeting you, thank you for taking care of this.” He said, referring to the bento.
And before she could say anything else, he was off. As if running from something. Hm, most curious indeed.
It was barely a few minutes later when Chishiya entered the break room, going straight for the coffee maker.
Noriko eyed him for a moment before speaking up. “Your roommate was here. He said you forgot your lunch.”
“My roommate?” Chishiya repeated, turning around to look at the wrapped box. There was a smile tugging on the corners of his mouth.
“Yeah. About this tall, on the skinny side, really cute smile. He left just before you arrived.”
Chishiya raised a brow at her, but refrained from commenting in favor of unpacking the bento.
“He didn't want to tell me if you have a girlfriend.” Noriko continued with a pout, biting heartily into her own sandwich. “It's not fair, I have a bet going on.”
“If you're bored enough to place bets, there are a few-”
“You're such a meanie! It's not like I'm gonna tease you with the information.”
Smiling to himself, Chishiya ignored the rant of his colleague and enjoyed his meal. Until he got a call on the hospital intern phone. It was Chiyo, the nurse in charge of his station.
“Yes?” He answered it, thinking there might be an emergency with one of the kids.
“Ah, Dr. Chishiya, everything's okay.” She started immediately, chuckling lightly and making the blond relax tad bit. “I just wanted to inform you that you won't have to pick up Seiyu-kun from 330. Apparently his cousin teased him a little too much so he left by himself.”
Chishiya frowned a little. Seiyu was a six-year-old. He's been in a car accident with his adult cousin and both of them had to stay for a while to let their injuries heal and to keep them supervised. Since Seiyu appeared to have only a mild concussion and a broken arm, Chishiya allowed him sometimes to visit his cousin a floor above, under the premise that he'd stay there until Chishiya or maybe Chiyo would pick him up again.
The nurse didn't sound worried though, that a six-year-old was running around alone in a rather huge hospital.
“So we have to search him?” He asked when Chiyo didn't elaborate, appearing to be distracted by something.
“Oh, no, he's back in his room. Apparently he managed to use the elevator on his own and knew what floor he needed to go to, but then he got lost. But there was this adorable man that found him hiding between the two vending machines two hallways over, and brought him back.” She chuckled a little, and maybe cooed? “They're so cute. Seiyu-kun showed him his game and the mystery cutie is helping him solve it together with Amaru-kun.”
Chishiya closed his eyes for a moment. That did sound too much like a certain someone. Leave it to Arisu to get such a reaction out of the nurse instead of security being called that a strange man lounged around the pediatric ward.
A smile found its way on his face at the prospect of seeing his boyfriend now and thank him for bringing his lunch. Arisu really was too considerate, never visiting at work or anything because he thought Chishiya wouldn't want him there, wouldn't want his colleagues to know about him. Well, that would change today.
“That's okay, thanks for informing me.” Chishiya ended the call and put away his empty box before leaving the break room. Noriko almost fell over herself following him.
“There was that smile again! What was that about?!”
“Shush, you'll startle the kids.” Was all he said as they entered the hallway of the pediatrics. He gave a greeting nod to Chiyo, who was watching the camera feed in Seiyu's and Amaru's room with an adoring expression.
And indeed, his boyfriend sat there on the bed with the two boys, giving them hints of how to solve the game. Chishiya leaned against the doorway, hands in his lab coat pockets as he watched the scene.
Arisu was good with kids, he noted, which was to be expected. The boys were completely engrossed in the game with him, hanging onto his every word and cheering when they managed to crack part of the game. Arisu laughed at something Seiyu said, quipping back with mirth. He treated them like children should be treated, not from above, which translated so well to them.
“Your roommate? I thought he said he had to leave...”
Chishiya was saved from answering by the kids noticing him. “Dr. Cat! Ryouhei-nii-chan showed me how to finally win the game!”
“Dr. Cat?” Arisu asked with his adorable frown, which prompted Amaru to point at the cat sticker on the stethoscope hanging around Chishiya's neck. A sticker Arisu had put there as a joke back when he had begun working here. Seeing Chishiya had kept it made him grin. “Oh, I see.”
“While I'm happy you're making new friends, Seiyu-kun, I think we need to talk about rules again.” He told Seiyu, whose face drooped a little.
“I didn't wanna stay any longer with the meanie! I almost made it back by myself too!”
“If Ryouhei hadn't arrived when he did, you would've been lost until I'd found you. You would've worried us all.”
Seiyu pouted a little, but gave a nod. “I'm gonna be good now. Can Ryouhei-nii-chan visit me again?”
Arisu's cheeks reddened lightly as he avoided looking at Chishiya.
“If he has time, I don't see a problem with that.” The gamer blinked at his boyfriend, unsure. “But right now I have to talk to him for a bit. You can try to solve the rest of the game in the meanwhile, alright?”
The boys nodded eagerly and got back to it, while Arisu followed Chishiya outside, far enough away that Noriko couldn't overhear them.
“Sorry for just showing up, but you forgot your lunch, and I know you wouldn't bother eating at all if I hadn't brought it. I swear I wanted to leave right away, but-”
“Ssh.” Chishiya hushed him, grabbing his hand with a smile. “I don't mind if you come visit me here.”
“But what about... about your coworkers?”
“Since when do I care about what others think?” Chishiya reached up to gently cup the side of his face, thumb swiping over the high cheekbone. And then he leaned up to kiss him softly, chuckling when he heard Noriko splutter from afar and Chiyo, who's joined her in the hallway, coo incredibly loud.
Arisu flushed, looking so pretty with his wide eyes and perfect lips. “I-I just thought...”
“Don't think too much. If you want to see me, then do so. I promise you I'll never be annoyed to have you here.” Arisu's gaze lowered lightly, shoulders beginning to hunch up the tiniest bit. So Chishiya wrapped his arms around his waist and caught his gaze again. “I know I've been working long hours lately, but it's only until the new doctor joins in two weeks.”
“N-No, it's fine. You're helping people, children. That's important.” More important than me, went unsaid, but Chishiya knew him well by now.
“You are important. Especially to me. And tonight I'll show you how much I do cherish you, baby.” The nickname had the desired effect, Arisu forgetting the string of thoughts and breath hitching.
“Shuntarou...”
“Mh?”
Arisu licked his lips and glanced briefly to where those rude colleagues were still watching. “I...” he smiled lightly, “I love you.”
“Love you too.” Chishiya replied, kissing him again. The serious talk could wait for tomorrow. Tonight he'd make sure to show his boyfriend how much he did love him. “Now, I have a few patients to see to. And you still have a game to finish.”
A few weeks ago, that sentence would've had Arisu stiffen, getting flashbacks of past horrors, but now he found himself grinning. “You bet I do!”
Borderland was truly in the past, and the future was theirs.