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Eren kept an eye on the other recruits shuffling toward the food line. He wriggled a hand into his uniform pocket, making sure there weren’t any holes for anything to fall through. He rose to his feet and obediently fell in line with the others, eyes carefully forward and not looking around. He grabbed a tray and took the food the cooks dished out, eyes greedily watching every crumb.
The moment he turned away from the line and his body shielded his tray from any sight, the hard roll was shoved away into his pocket, alongside another handful of the vegetables. He wandered slowly away to another corner and settled down to eat, warily keeping track of the other recruits.
Scanning the actions of the others, Eren could easily spot who was from the refugee camps and who wasn’t aware there were refugees.
Eren managed to join the corps despite his age, having received a growth spurt despite being malnourished, his height gave him an advantage over the other urchins. For this, he enlisted immediately, knowing Mikasa wouldn’t leave Armin behind. Eren hadn’t wanted to either, but Armin convinced him.
Armin was good at convincing them.
A quickly turned body with scanning eyes caught Eren’s look. Either urchin exchanged a glance. Eren smiled, teeth bared and the other averted their eyes, looking for another table to lay in wait at.
Starved for years, Eren ignored the heavy weight of extra food in his pocket. Slowly, he took a bite of greens and chewed, savoring the flavor, and observing other recruits as they settled down around him. They were the many who didn’t even know of the refugee camps, of the great execution years ago.
Eren bit his tongue and let the taste of iron feed his rage.
They’re easy pickings. Armin’s voice reminded him. Stealing in the military was strictly forbidden and would have Eren’s hand removed for the crime. But stealing on the streets was the only way to live, these years past. If he were ever caught, he would suffer the same fate.
He’d have his hand removed for nicking a crusty old roll, but the people who he stole it from would never be touched for their many beatings. They would go ignored for their cruelty. They would run free, enjoying the foods that Eren’s own hands grew for them, starving their workers and laughing all the while.
Child abuse in a house was plenty reason for a trial and jail time. But child abuse when the child was homeless…
Eren dug his teeth into his cheek and chewed carefully. Iron coated his tongue, slipping down his throat alongside the bean he’d been mushing in his mouth.
He pulled his canteen close and took a long drink, carefully counting each swallow as Armin taught him.
Eren’s ideal world did not exist. Not in these walls they were trapped inside. People of authority only followed their own rules when they saw them broken before them. They followed the law when it suited them. If those tasked with upholding the law couldn’t follow it, then neither would Eren when he needed to break it.
Eren learned long ago that there was no justice in the streets filled with the starving, dying, angry. There is no reason that he should grow angry when they will never change.
Titans may have killed his mother and destroyed his home, but it was people who destroyed his faith. People crushed his dreams, laughed at his trials, and mocked his hope. People were cruel. Titans were nothing more than beasts. People should have united to destroy the common enemy. Yet, instead, they hid within their walls and destroyed themselves.
People.
Eren schooled his expression to avoid expressing the hatred he felt towards those that should have helped.
“Why’re you always curling up in the corner, eh Eren?” George Heaver prodded Eren’s side with a jeer. “Too scared to sit with the real military?”
The other recruits laughed at George’s joke, making side comments of their own about Eren’s tendency to drift off.
“You’re always stuck in the clouds, eyes faraway. What, we’re not good enough for you, down on the ground?” George continued to jeer, leaning closer to Eren’s face.
At the increase proximity to his food, Eren pulled backwards, plate well within his protection. “Go jump off a wall, George.” He growled back, glaring at the spittle that coated his small meal.
George thumped the table and settled back in his seat, across from Eren. “As long as you know your place, runt.”
The Eren from years ago would have flown into a righteous rage, jumped to his feet and throttled the other for daring to speak to him in such a way. That Eren was beaten back and wiser. That Eren learned that no one cared who said what, they only cared who visibly threw the first fist. And with how easily Eren was angered, he was well known to be the first to throw fists any time.
Once he was sure the others were back and refocused on their own foods, Eren smiled inwardly and took a large bite of food to prevent them noticing. With all the hubbub George kicked up, none of the group had noticed the other street shadow as he nicked pieces of rolls and potatoes from their plates.
The street life was an odd one. Death around every corner with the constant threat of the military police hanging over everyone’s heads, you’d think each brat would spend more time throwing each other under the bus. But instead, they had their little gangs, and each gang looked out for the other, through treaties and favors.
Eren’s eyes traveled away from the other urchin and surveyed the room once more. Cadet training was an odd choice, but Armin convinced Eren saying that with his recent growth spurt, he was gangly enough to be the right age, and the military couldn’t be picky, with how few wanted to join these days.
Eren closed his eyes and tilted his head back, thinking of that conversation.
“Armin,” Eren rubbed a hand through his hair and looked away. “Why me?”
“If there’s anyone who can pass as the right age, it’s you Eren.” Armin was looking through his little notebook, a list of contacts he’d managed to garner over the years on the streets. “They’ll give you more food than either me or Mikasa, you’re bigger, too.”
Eren groaned. “I don’t want to join the military, anymore, Armin!” He regretted his early childhood when all he did was run around screaming about joining the scouts. Why hadn’t he spent more time with his mother, at home? Why did he have to waste his years with her, fighting, angry and hating the wrong creatures? “What will I do later on, when they want me to pick a branch?”
“Don’t worry, Eren.” Armin patted his head. “You won’t get that far. We’ll plan an easy way out. Or, if worse comes to worst, we can cause some panic that you get caught up in. No bodies no trail.”
Eren opened his eyes back in the canteen and looked back down to his meal.
No bodies. He listened with half an ear as the other cadets chattered and groaned about their trainers. He hummed in agreement to stay a part of the group. If he distanced himself, it would make it harder for him in the long run.
“What are you doing, rummaging in my garbage?” An old man opened his door and stared out into the alleyway.
Guilty, Armin pulled back and smiled sadly. “Sorry sir. We’re very hungry and there’s no food in the camps anymore.”
“Camps?” The irritation turned to hatred in a blink. Within that same time, the man was gripping Armin tightly and shaking him. “Camps? You’re telling me that the camp scum is rummaging about in my property?”
“S-sir!” Armin squeaked, shocked and hurting. “P-please let me go!”
“The only place you ought to be let go is over the walls with the rest of your lot!” The man yelled. He raised a hand to smack Armin, but was yanked away by a furious Eren.
“Leave him alone! We’re hungry!”
The man released Armin and turned fully to kick Eren in the side. “You’d be better off dead! Get the hell off my property! If I ever see your kind skulking around again, I’ll have the Military Police after you for stealing!”
“It’s your trash!” Eren protested from where he’d been splayed on the ground. He rose to his feet again. “You threw it away!”
“And I’ll do the same to you if you don’t leave!” The man roared and took another step forward.
“We’re sorry! We’re sorry!” Armin cried, tears rolling down his face as he gripped Eren and pulled his fuming friend away. “We won’t come back! We’re sorry!”
With the sound of the morning horns, Eren joined the other cadets in rolling from their bunks and hastily dressing in their uniforms. They formed in an orderly mass out of the bunkrooms, waiting for their commanding trainer to set them on their morning workout.
Eren despised the workouts. They were an utter waste of energy. The cadets would run laps or lift heavy objects with little purpose other than to put them back where they were just taken from. The trainers enjoyed watching them gasp and groan, faint, and wheeze. Then they’d yell further abuse at the cadets for not standing up straight, for smelling like pigs.
The insults were dumb, but the workouts were a poor use of resources. Instead of wasting energy running in circles, they could be feeding the starving hundreds.
People. Eren grunted and joined the group running laps.
Instead of running useless laps, he could be running from an angry shopkeeper, at least then he’d have food or clothes to bring back to his family.
The food and clothes he’s nicked so far were already stuffed in a bag under his bunk. The first visitation date was still a month out, but the bread should keep, and the miscellaneous socks and shirts certainly would.
Eren felt his muscles complaining at the longer than normal use. Sprint and hide, that was the way of the city. Here, they had him run and run and run for ages. He gritted his teeth and forced his frustration into energy. He needed to last, then he could help feed Mikasa and Armin. The longer he was in this training corps, the less strain he put on their own stores.
Armin told him to leave before he was supposed to choose a branch. He told him not to get angry, to reroute his frustration into being productive. Armin’s plan was simple, stay in the cadet corps until the last minute. Don’t join. Instead, produce an injury of some sort that would have him medically discharged. A medical discharge would keep the uniforms and “honors” of having previously served without having to do so.
Eren could then be their front man, someone official to laugh with the others, gain intelligence, learn movements. While Eren spent his time in the corps, Armin was cozying with the farming community, pinching any plant pods, learning their growth cycles.
Mikasa had been below ground, she’d discovered the secret ghettos and returned with stories. Eren and Armin both followed her down and the trio spent a good number of months below the ground, gaining survival skills, connections, and more tricks.
Mikasa still spent more time between the Underground and their hidey-hole above.
While the Underground reeked of sorrow, they were… cohesive.
Eren tripped and windmilled his arms, landing with great force on both hands and knees with a skid. The other cadets made no move to stop and help, simply diverting their paths to reroute around him and keep running.
“Cadet Jaeger! On your feet, this isn’t nap time!” A trainer shouted from the sidelines.
Eren regained his footing and picked up a steady jog, half-heartedly keeping up and frowning at how lost he was in thought.
The Underground wasn’t cohesive. They simply understood humanity was sick and dying. With that understanding, removed the layers of fake smiles and lies. The Underground reeked of crime, visible crime. Visible abuse.
The same crimes were occurring above ground, yet everyone acted like they weren’t. They pretended they were so much better than those below, by living in their homes and wearing nice clothes, by smiling with their mouths, while plotting with their eyes. By loving their own children and scorning those without parents.
Eren joined the gasping group of teens, and rubbed his hands together, annoyed at his carelessness that brought him to his knees.
“What are you lousy lot doing, standing around gasping like dying rats? Get to attention! And if I hear a single mouth breather, you’ll be standing at attention in the river, with only your noses above the water!”
Obediently, the group closed their mouths and stood as still and quietly as they could.
The trainers paced the ranks, correcting stances here, spitting critiques there.
“Somehow this group of moronic maggots has managed to stand in straight line. Congratulations. Now get to the showers and report for breakfast. If I smell a single grain of sweat, you’ll be cleaning the showers!”
“Sir!” The cadets scattered.
One more month, then Eren would see his family again.
“Run!” The children scattered in every direction, abandoning the tipped over cart and leaping into the rooftops.
When a produce cart overturned, they’d rushed the dirtied food like flies to shit. With an opportunity like this, it was everyone for themselves. They’d grabbed as much as they could hide in their rags, then scattered at the first sign of an MP.
Knowing Armin went low, Eren swung high. He climbed a drainpipe and jumped the roofs looking for a crack to squeeze into. Too close and they’d catch him immediately, too far and he’d catch another’s attention. Why else would a child be running on the roofs if he hadn’t committed some crime?
Eren saw a narrow walkway below that only had a few beggars in it. He grabbed the roof edge and shimmied down to the ground. Picking a section of wall, he slid to his rear and folded into a small ball. His cloak was ragged and tucked into his pants, making it easy to pull out and wrap around his shoulders.
He drew nearer the wall and shivered. Reaching one hand out, he let it settle listlessly in his lap. With the other beggars ignoring him and the street semi-busy, he easily blended into the background. There, Eren settled for the rest of the day.
All beggars withdrew at the sight of MPs but stuck out their hands and raised their voices to any other person passing through. He ignored the weight of vegetables in his shirt and cried for food, please, anything you can give.
The people passing only spat in his way or hurried past, eyes forward and minds elsewhere.
As the sun set, the beggars settled down to sleep. Some, like Eren, rose to their feet to return to their homes. Most probably they’d been hiding from MPs as well. After dark was the time to move. MPs would rather settle by a fire than chase beggars about.
Eren tucked his cloak away, ensured his stolen goods were still secured, then joined the other bodies still moving about on the main roads. He settled into an easy stroll; speed was only necessary for getting away. He was safe for now.
“Begin!” Eren jumped for the other boy’s hands, intent to grab the knife first.
Startled at his sudden move, the other tripped and fell to his back with a startled yell. “W-wait!”
Eren avoided falling on top by diverting his weight to his left. That was annoying. “We’re in a duel, Marco.” He reminded the other, eyes watching his target. “Your enemy won’t just stop to let you regain your footing.”
“Well,” Marco sighed and nodded, rising to his feet. “Okay, you’re right. But I don’t understand why we have to fight each other.”
“I thought you want to join the Military Police.” Eren deadpanned, annoyed at knowing this information. His past experiences didn’t help his view of any military organization, but the Military Police were the actual worst and the idea that Marco wanted to join, was odd.
“Yes, but fighting people?”
“That’s who you’d be dealing with, yeah.” Eren nodded. When Marco was fully standing and back in his stance, Eren jumped forward again, this time successfully grabbing the target. “They’re the ones you’re policing, after all.”
Marco sighed and let Eren fasten the target to his own belt. “That’s only if I’m good enough to get into the top ten.”
“Just because I best you in hand-to-hand means nothing of your other scores, Marco.” Eren reminded the other, settling into a ready stance. He wondered if Marco would keep his naivety and be a kind Military Police member, or if the lack of knowledge regarding the refugee camps would mean he believes everything others say.
Marco moved to grab the object and Eren ducked away, always alert. Stealing from a thief in broad daylight, Marco would never get a hand on the knife.
“Time!” Panting and red-faced, Marco stopped his attempts and moved to switch partners. Eren tipped a nod at the other and waited for a new challenger. Eren wouldn’t be persuaded to conceal his hand-to-hand capability. He’d rather they think him good at avoiding hits, than see how well he can steal. While he may have embarrassed Marco by making him try to get the knife for five minutes straight, Eren didn’t care.
“You’ll never make friends like this, Eren.” His mother carded a hand through his hair and laughed when he tried to squirm away from her at the action.
“I don’t care! They were being mean to Armin, why would I want friends with bullies, anyway?” He argued, angry at the whole situation.
“You’re so hotheaded, I don’t understand who raised you.” She grinned and then addressed his concerns. “Of course, I don’t want you to be friends with bullies, darling. But violence isn’t the answer. Otherwise, you are a bully.”
“I’m not a bully!” He shouted and jumped to the ground, ignoring the bruises already on his knees. “I’m a protector.”
“How does Armin feel when you start swinging fists around him, hm?” She grabbed his wrist and easily pulled him back into her lap. “Don’t you frighten him?”
“Armin’s smart.” Eren was always happy to brag about his younger friend. “He knows I would never hurt him.”
“Doesn’t that dirt taste lovely, Jaegar?” Greaver pressed his foot a little more firmly against Eren’s head and shifted his weight. “This will teach you to show me up in hand-to-hand. Can’t best all of us, can you, Jaegar?”
Eren kept his mouth firmly closed, eyes tight and hands loose. Don’t fight back. It’s always worse when he fights back.
Four other boys were holding each of his limbs, each laughing and taunting Eren for being taken down by five of them.
“Come on, Jaegar. Don’t you have anything to say? Hm.” The boy placed even more weight on Eren’s head, forcing his nose into the dirt where he couldn’t breathe. Eren wriggled and froze when Greaver lowered to the ground to poke his neck with a blade. “You never have anything to say. Always watching and waiting. What’s your secret, Jaegar. Are you a spy, hm?”
Eren’s hands tightened. Don’t fight back.
“You don’t seem interested in a branch, but you’re here anyway. What’s up with that? Don’t you have any friends, Jaegar?”
Eren’s toes curled, his body prepped to fight or run. Get away, get away from them! He couldn’t, he needed to stay to complete Armin’s plan. They were stocking up, saving up. Eren needed energy, he needed the food and clothes and training. Then he could train the other two.
Breathe, Eren.
They would never find out the plan, as long Eren continued as he was, gave nothing up, he’d be okay.
“No one’s going to look for you, Jaegar.” The boy nicked Eren’s neck with the blade, then smudged the bead of blood across his neck.
“Hey, George, I didn’t sign up for any injuries!” One of the boys, holding Eren’s arms loosened his grip, voice hesitant.
Greaver snarled and withdrew. “Good job calling my bluff, Devan.” He turned away and kicked the ground. “I wasn’t going to hurt him. Walls.” He cursed.
Devan shied away from Greaver’s body. “Well, you should have told us your plan before you went after him. All you said was to hold him down, how am I supposed to take it if you start beating on him? We’re trying to get into the military, not be arrested by it!”
Eren settled into the dirt to wait, knowing that he would likely be in this spot for a while longer. The high-stress situation was past now. The boys were too busy arguing amongst themselves to worry about beating on him. He was fine. Just stay low and he’ll be just fine…
“Stay low.” The phrase was repeated down the line of quivering bodies. Stay low, lower than the ground. Press your bellies to the dirt and cower. Stay low. If you’re low enough, then you won’t be seen, you won’t be shot. Stay low, they won’t pick you up, won’t use you as fodder to distract the titans. Stay low.
Armin returned to their current home. It was a little hole in the eaves of a brothel. Below, rambunctious bangs filled their every night. Whimpering women, gleeful men. Then gleeful women, and men whimpering as they noticed their empty pockets. Armin returned with news.
“They’re farming us.” He whispered with wide-eyes and panting breath. “Whoever they can find, the MPs pick off the streets and take them away. It doesn’t matter if you’re a farmhand or not. If you don’t have papers, then you don’t exist. If you don’t exist… then they can do what they want.”
“What do they want?” Mikasa prodded, once Armin took a good long drink of water.
“When I said they’re farming us, I mean they’re using us as food, food for the titans.”
“What?” Eren started to say but bit his tongue and switched to a whisper. “What do you mean… what did you see?”
“I didn’t stay long…” Armin trailed off and swallowed heavily. “Anyone who didn’t duck low was picked up. They checked their papers, and when they didn’t have any, they threw them into their cart. It was tall and deep cart, like for prisoners. I couldn’t read the sign; it was in that fancy writing they use in these walls… but they acted like they were prisoners.
“I tried to follow for a little while, but the cart disappeared, and it wasn’t safe to follow.”
“So, then someone told you what they were doing?” Mikasa asked, realizing Armin wouldn’t claim a scary fact without checking it first.
“Yes.” Armin leaned heavily over and looked like he wanted to vomit, eyes glazing. happening, the Garrison can focus on the titans better. Apparently, it’s a good tactic for killing a bunch at once.”
Armin turned sad eyes to Eren. At his face, Eren closed his eyes and shook his head with anger. “No. Armin, no. You can’t tell me they know. Armin.”
His friend hugged him back. “The MPs and Garrison said the Survey Corps were the ones who told them about this technique. I’m sorry Eren, but everyone is awful.”
Eren closed his eyes and wanted to cry. So that was it, then? What was the purpose of having walls, if humanity sacrificed their own to the monsters outside them? They had thought the executing of thousands, sending so many adults and elderly into the wilderness was the worst humanity could offer. And yet, they were able to execute thousands because they executed people, every day.
This was a technique. Armin’s grandfather wasn’t an exception, he was the rule.
Later that evening, Mikasa and Eren followed Armin to the same gate where the MPs supposedly took the unregistered through. There, they settled to watch and wait.
After a few hours, Armin nudged their sides and pointed at an approaching cart. “It looks like a prisoner cart, but that’s exactly what they were picking people up in. I guarantee there are unregistered civilians in there.”
Eren exchanged glances with Mikasa. “If we can, we’re going in.”
Armin sighed but nodded. He wouldn’t try to enter, but Eren and Mikasa were both annoyingly curious and could look out for one another. “I’ll watch and wait out here, see if I can find anything else out.”
“Got it.” The duo slipped down the building into the gutters. Sliding like shadows, they shimmied low on the ground until they were near the roadway. The cart rolled to a stop while MPs got out and patrolled the area, checked the gate, then began talking amongst themselves.
“Now.” Mikasa breathed and Eren swiftly scrambled after her. They rolled under the cart, winding their legs and arms among the bolts holding the cart together.
As one, they held their breaths and waited, counting the seconds and praying to the walls that the guards wouldn’t check the cart.
“Today we’ll be going over the general care of omni-directional maneuvering gear!” Eren leaned forward in his chair, eyes wide and ears open. This was why he was here. Finally.
“Standard terminology is ODM Gear, or ODMG. If you’ve ever seen a single member of the military, then you know what I’m talking about. The ODM Gear allows the user to move from the ground to the air and back again with the speed of a bullet.
“Before you lot start asking questions, as I know you will. A bullet is a projectile fired from a device known as a gun. You likely haven’t run into this weapon yet, since they are highly valued by the Military Police guarding his royal majesty.”
The class oohed and ahhed at this information. Eren nodded alongside in similar awe. He had heard of guns; they were available in the black market in the Underground. Their cost was at the same rate as a decent meal and – as the saying goes – if you can’t eat it, then what’s the use?
“Without your shoddy brains knowing anything to compare the speed to, you’ll have to trust me. Now,” the man changed back to the topic at hand. “In order for the gear to work properly all the time, you will firstly need to know how to clean it.” He grinned triumphantly at the resounding noise of complaints. “If you don’t, then you’ll wind up a smudge of blood on the side of a tree.”
Silence.
“That’s what I thought.” He grinned wider at their horrified looks. “While ODM gear is incredibly exciting to learn, it’s also incredibly dangerous. If you do it wrong, then you will die. Or end up maimed for life. It’s not worth skipping out on cleaning your gear. That’s why we will be covering cleaning, maintenance and repair for the next two months.
“Then, if you mangy lot can figure it out, then we will move on to proper wear.”
The trio settled in a tree, away from the town. This discussion required the utmost secrecy, they couldn’t allow anyone to overhear them.
“ODM gear.” Armin tapped a branch with his fingers. “We need to get our hands on it. That’s the only way out of here.”
“Armin, the MPs guard their gear more than they guard their beds.” Mikasa bit back. “It’s not even on the market in the Underground. Anyone who managed to get their hands on it would never let it go.”
Eren settled his head in his hands. “She’s right. No one above or below ground would be willing to part with it. It’s rarer than guns.”
“I have a plan.” Armin steepled his fingers together and sighed. “You’re not going to like it.”
“I don’t like anything we’ve done since Maria fell.” Mikasa replied, gritting her teeth. “So, go ahead, Armin.”
Eren nodded his head in agreement, from where it still rested in his hands.
“…okay. We all know the only ones who have access to ODM is the military.” Eren and Mikasa dutifully hummed in agreement. “Which means the only way we can get our own, is by joining.”
“You- what - you want us to join?” Eren and Mikasa simultaneously expressed their dismay.
“Not all of us…” Armin’s steepled fingers drew together into a pleading grip, hands clasped tightly together. “Only one of us would join, the rest would stay out here and keep spying.”
“Okay- okay… what’s your plan?” Mikasa pulled Eren back and rubbed his head. “Then we’ll react, right Eren?”
“Hrggh-” He bit his lip and roughly scrubbed his head. “Yeah, okay.”
“Thank you.” Armin took a deep breath. “We saw what they were doing. You went over and saw how they’re trying to ‘mitigate the problem’. Eventually someone will rat us out, once there’s a reward for refugees put out.
“Before that happens, we need to escape. We can’t live here any longer, we’ve barely been living as is.”
They were hollow-boned, bones sticking from their skin like needles poking through fabric. As lively as the trio acted, they were starved to death and weaker than Armin’s grandpa had been. Barely alive, they tried their best.
“Underground is no better than above ground, and we all know that if we tried to go further inward, then we’d be arrested and end up in the same situation as those picked off the streets. We need to escape, but we have no family, no friends, no home.
“The military is one way, but it’s no better than the rest of the routes. Either we would end up chewed on by titans, or chewed on by the military once they find out we’re paperless. So, what I think we need to do…” Armin sucked in his cheeks. “We need to escape over the walls.”
Over the walls…
“What?”
“Listen! You promised you would listen!” Armin pleaded to their shocked expressions. “Humans are monsters.”
“Yes.” Eren and Mikasa reined in their reactions and tried to follow his reasoning.
“Titans are monsters.”
“Yes.”
“But, but, unlike humans, Titans don’t have brains. They’re just really hungry, like us. Unlike humans, we can probably understand them a bit better. Right?”
“…yes?”
“Right! So, if all we need to do is avoid being eaten, then we should be able to survive. They’re hungry, but they’re stupid. They just eat whatever they can find. The walls act like a giant buffet, which is why there were so many there the minute there was a hole in the wall.
“If we can get far enough away from the walls, there shouldn’t be very many titans to bother us, and there will not be any humans.”
“Uh.” Eren was lost. He looked at Mikasa to see if she was following Armin. She shook her head. “Armin. How are we supposed to get far enough away from the walls?”
“That’s- that’s where you come in, Eren.” He grinned nervously.
“Wh-what?”
“You see, I said earlier that one of us will need to join the military. I thought, I figured that you would be the best one for that role.”
“Wait a second-.”
“-because you recently got a growth spurt and so you’re the closest looking age to what their recruiting age is!”
“-but listen.”
“-and Mikasa can keep running information from the Underground and I was thinking I could stick with the farmers tolearnhowtogrowplantssothatwhenwe-“
“Armin!” Eren yelled to get the other’s attention and cut off the rapid speech.
“…yes?”
“You want us to, to escape outside of the walls and live among the titans?”
“Yes, yes I do.”
Mikasa grabbed Armin with one hand and Eren with the other. “What the fuck, Armin. Only you.” She pulled them together into a hug. “What the fuck.”
Eren slammed into the ground again, head ringing loudly. Fuuuuuuck.
“Get off the ground Jaeger, if you can’t pass basic balancing, then you’re heading to the farms. Figure your shit out!”
“S-Sir!” Eren saluted and scrambled away from the balancing platform. What the hell was going on? He checked his gear and tried to remember what doohickey went where. This was his job. He had to pass ODM gear because he had to steal and then teach his friends.
Eren pulled the gear off and began taking it apart. Maybe he hadn’t cleaned the air-inlet valve? That was a typical problem area they’d been told to watch for…
He gripped the part in question and began to pull the section apart, cleaning cloth in hand, he set about oiling everything again. Maybe he should just take it all apart and put it all together again. He should also pull out the manual to figure out if a piece was misaligned, too. Nothing could hurt. He just needed to pass.
“Guess you’ll be a little farm boy for the rest of your life, huh Jaeger?” Greaver sidled over, wearing the gear with a triumphant gleam in his eye. Unlike Eren, Greaver passed on the first try, balancing perfectly. Why he still hung around when he could be taking the day off was a wonder.
“Go away, Greaver.” Eren growled back, tired of his petty bullying. “Don’t you want to take a shower before you see your mama? Can’t have her realizing you’re a piece of scum beneath all that fake charm.”
“Did you just insult my mama?” Greaver’s face began to change colors.
“No, you moron.” Eren turned his attention away from his gear to the snarling cadet. “I said you smell, and you need to shower. Are you deaf as well as dumb?” The moment Eren said the words, he knew he’d gone too far.
The other cadet lunged forward with a yell, aiming for Eren’s face with his hands curled into fists. Eren dove to the side and rolled, groaning when he didn’t take the gear harness into account. Metal jabbed into his side, which was why Eren wasn’t recovered enough to avoid Greaver’s second swing.
A clock to the jaw made Eren’s head wrench to the right. He dropped back to the ground to avoid a second swing, eyes blinking to regain his vision. He shouldn’t fight, but hell to that.
Eren saw Greaver moving toward him and ducked low, grabbing the other cadet’s legs and taking them out from under him. Weight on his back and a yell, the boy began to struggle. Eren rolled until he was on top. Oooh he would love to just slam this good-for-nothing bully in the face right now.
Greaver wriggled, grabbed Eren’s arm and bit him.
“Fuck!” Eren shouted and recoiled off the other’s body. “What the fuck?”
Greaver jumped to his feet and made to come at him again. “I’m not an idiot!” He howled, bloodlust in his eyes. His next step was met with a fist to the gut and he curled over his middle in and instant, gasping at the pain.
“Seems a little idiotic to start a fight in the middle of a lesson.” Lieutenant Hoove interrupted, tone mild in complete contrast to the gut punch she’d just delivered. “I turn away for five minutes, only to find Jaegar and Greaver rumbling in the dirt. What do you have to say for yourselves, cadets?”
Eren rose to his feet and saluted with a wince. “Sir, no excuses sir.”
“Hm. Greaver?” She kicked the whining cadet. “Attention!”
“S-sir!” Greaver uncurled and stood as well, with no small amount of grumbling. “Sir, Cadet Jaegar was insulting my mother and my person. I felt honor-bound to defend myself, sir!”
“By tumbling in the dirt, cadet?” She shook her head. “Cadet Jaegar was correct, there are no excuses for this behavior. You’re cadets. You have no honor to defend. As you’ve been told since your induction day, you’re barely dirt on the bottom of our shoes. To assume honor is to assume you understand what it means to have any. You’ve yet to see a titan or experience the atrocities that come from fighting them. You have no honor.”
Fighting titans, pah. Eren disagreed with this honor she claimed. Lieutenant Hoove may be one of the more reasonable humans, but she was just like the others, seeing their enemies outside the walls.
“Stop whining, cadet.” She glared at Greaver until the boy was fully cowed into silence. “Both of you, return to your lesson. I better not see any more cadets fighting in the dirt over honor.”
“Sir!” Both maintained their salute.
“Dismissed.”
They scrambled away, Eren picking up the pieces of his dismantled gear before he returned to the testing area. Greaver was a pain in his ass.
Hannes shook his head as he watched the lines of prisoners pulled to the edge of the wall. This wasn’t right. He frowned heavily as the MPs handed the prisoners over to his fellow Garrison.
They couldn’t afford to feed unrepentant prisoners. If they refused to change, to see the rules for the guidelines for a proper society… they were sentenced to death.
He turned away from the crying prisoners, hating that he was just another witness to this cruelty. But they’re bad people. He looked toward the Western gate where another platoon of Scouts waited for the signal. With the prisoners execution, the hordes waiting by the gates would instead mob this section of the walls. That would reduce the number of titans the Garrison had to take out for the Scouts to leave the walls. The entire operation always one step away from losing everyone.
Before, they used to slow the titans as best they could while the Scouts snuck out, usually losing a fair number of Scouts as well as Garrison to the titans. But with the recent change in planning, they’d cut their losses up to eighty percent.
The military police, with the King’s blessing, no longer executed their prisoners and burned their bodies. Instead, they pushed them off the wall, a bait for titans to leave the gates.
“No! Please! Noooo!” It had begun.
Hannes closed his eyes and clenched his teeth, ignoring the screams.
Every single time, once faced with their certain end, the prisoners would scream their innocence. They’d wail and cry and then they would die.
“Help! Someone, please, help!”
He wished he could plug his ears. His willingness to believe their cries of innocence…
“Whyyyy?”
This was why he was on guard duty. He would try to save them.
“No! No! No!”
He was too easily fooled.
“Please! I’ll do anything!”
Only the worst of society.
“Stop!”
Only the dregs of their walls.
“That’s my son!”
These were the executed.
“Stooooooop!”
They couldn’t be helped.
“Nonononoonono-!”
Hannes turned away from the execution and looked back down towards Trost. Somewhere down there, Eren and Mikasa and Armin survived. For them, these prisoners needed to be executed. They needed the food these horrible people were eating.
For them.
“Armin! Mikasa!” Eren hugged his friends tightly, happy to see them again. “I’ve missed you.”
“Eren.” Mikasa held him tightly, body shaking. “Eren, Eren, Eren.”
“What? Mikasa?” Eren’s joy quickly turned to fear and he hugged her tighter, turning to Armin in worry. Armin’s eyes were hard and he shook his head, anger sparking his vision. “What happened?”
“We…” Armin sucked his teeth and bit his lip. “Mikasa went back to the prisoner collection place. She followed them and- and- I…” Armin’s eyes welled in tears.
Wide-eyed, Eren pulled Armin into the tight embrace and hugged them hard. “I’m alive, you’re alive.” He repeated over and over, rubbing their backs and knowing they’d tell him. Waiting.
“Hannes.” Mikasa bit out.
Armin nodded his head where it was pressed against Eren’s chest. “Hannes.” He agreed, voice shaky.
“What do you, what are you…” Hannes?
Hannes was the only adult left that they liked. He was the only human who they knew who cared for them. Sometimes they’d seem him, he would give them a pained look and feed them bread. His eyes were always tight and he would hug them and tell them stories about their parents, about Shigansina. He worked for the Garrison, so he would always leave.
He used to spend his time drinking and laughing. Now he was always serious, always sad, always sober.
What did Hannes have to do with- with- wait. They said Mikasa went back to the wall camps… and Hannes.
No. “Hannes?!?” Eren pulled out of their arms, eyes wide and feeling cold reality settle in. “No. Hannes would never participate. We’re the uncounted, Armin. The only reason he has papers is because he works for the Garrison. Why would he want- why would- he was mother’s friend!”
Please no. Please no.
“I wouldn’t lie to you, Eren.” Mikasa’s voice was wrecked. “I saw him on the Wall. They were pushing people over. He watched and turned away. He’s- he’s just like them. He’s horrible. Eren.” She lunged forward and dug her finger into his sides. “Eren I’m sorry.”
“Eren look, it’s your uncle Hannes.” His mother grinned wide and waved his hand for him. “Say hi to Uncles Hannes!”
Eren turned wide-eyes towards the blond man. He looked nothing like Mama or Papa. Weren’t family supposed to look the same? “Unk?” He asked, looking back to Mama.
“That’s right!” She smiled wider and pushed him towards the man. “You’ve met him before. But he’s been away for a couple months.”
“Hi, Eren.” Uncle Hannes crouched low and held out a finger for the boy to hold. “It’s a pleasure to meet you. I’m your mama’s friend, and I hope we can be friends too.” His smile was warm, eyes twinkling just like Eren’s Mama’s eyes.
He looked nice. “Unk.” Eren nodded and reached his hand out to hold Uncle Hannes’ proffered finger. “Hi.”
Humanity was twisted and dark. They pretended they were your friend while stabbing you in the back. They offered you food, then threw you over the wall like an offering to gods. They pretended the walls were their gods but treated themselves like the deciders.
What were humans? What did it mean to be humane? Did Eren even want to be a human anymore when everyone he met was angry and twisted and turning on themselves? Should the 50m titan return, would Eren relish in the carnage of death, or would he laugh at their terror?
Better to be a monster than a human. Humans were betrayal, guilt, anger, and hatred. Humans were selfish and greedy.
Armin wanted to escape the Walls, to live among the titans. They needed to run from this decrepit and dying world, to make their own.
Eventually, as life goes, they will die. But maybe, maybe they three can live a little. Maybe they can be free from this society of chaos.
Rules. His instructors said their rules were the only way their society could thrive. Rules! What were they but ropes holding them down, while their overseers picked and chose who would live and who would die?
Hannes. Hannes fed them only to watch them get thrown over the walls.
What was the point, anymore?
Eren snuck into the Equipment shed, eyes alert and steps light. With their graduation coming quick, the cadets were out celebrating passing their tests. In a week or so, they’d be posted around the city for a final test, of sorts. Though they’d passed all graded tests, so all they really had to do was show off their talent to whichever service they planned to join.
While they celebrated, Eren could steal some gear and sneak it out to his family. Armin and Mikasa waited for him just outside the compound, ready to vanish into the dark with their goods.
There were cadets posted on duty, though they were easy to put to sleep with a well-placed open flask of wine. Honestly, what did their supervisors think was going to happen?
The lock, well-oiled from frequent cleanings, was easy to open and didn’t make a single sound in protest. While clean and tidy was the military’s way, it sure made it easier for this heist.
If they stuck around, they might want to consider stealing from the military more often.
Inside, spare equipment hung in an orderly fashion. Eren took a moment to confirm the guards were sleeping. Good. He returned to the shed and began rifling through the sizes.
He made sure to study every piece of every part, memorizing what went where and the standard life of pieces. He was going to be the manual and he couldn’t fail; this was their life or death. He couldn’t get it wrong. Since then, Eren had picked up odds and ends, broken parts, fixed parts, and from them, he learned how to fix the broken bits, to reconfigure what couldn’t be broken. And every piece they didn’t miss, he passed on to Armin and Mikasa.
All he needed now, was the gear itself. He would show Armin and Mikasa later, when he could go into town for a visit. He was allowed to wear his full uniform then, and he’d walk them through the proper wearing of the gear until he was sure they had it. They could practice on their own.
Gas. He chewed on his lip. That’s fine. They could get their own gas.
He’d stolen them uniforms too, they should be able to approach a gas distribution center, with their uniforms and gear. They should be able to get fills.
A snort from outside caused him to freeze. It petered into a snore, and he carefully continued his rifling.
Right, first the gear. Then they’d figure out the gas.
“Eren, you need to fake an injury soon.” Armin cautioned him, putting the ODM gear away. They’d practiced the wear and general operation and it was drawing near time for Eren to return to his barracks. “They’ll have that selection event any time, and then you’ll be stuck.”
“I know.” Eren patted his friend’s shoulders and checked on Mikasa’s straps. “I was thinking I could choose Garrison for the week in town duty, then I could see about their wall knowledge. Maybe I could get a wire crossed and become scared of heights or something. Don’t worry, I’ll figure it out.”
Mikasa batted his hands away. “We’re ready to go, Eren. We just need you to show us a few maneuvers and we will be able to leave.”
He pulled back and twiddled his fingers. “I know. Then we can escape this hell hole.” He chewed his lip again. “It’s kind of crazy, three years have already passed.”
Armin smiled. “Look how much you’ve bulked!” He patted Eren’s arm and squeezed his bicep. “If we can’t find food outside the walls, we might just have to eat you!”
Mikasa pushed Armin away. “Oh, shut it, you. Eren wouldn’t taste very good.” She gave Armin a careful look. “You on the other hand…”
Eren grinned at his friend's banter. Unlike Eren, they hadn’t bulked much. Their bodies were still geared towards street living, hiding in tight corners, and begging for food. With Eren handing them hard loaves and any money he was given – apparently, cadets were paid – they weren’t as close to death as they once were.
Still, they survived. They didn’t live.
A crack of thunder echoed high and loud and Eren felt déjà vu as lightning flashed in the sky. He spun around and saw the same burst of steam, the same enormous red face gazing onto the wall. The colossal titan was back, years later.
“Titan!” He yelled and ran away from its reaching hand. Heart in throat, he watched it take out the cannons on the top of the wall. The other hand laid down and grabbed the wall with a grinding crunch.
“What the fuck!” Greaver screamed and ran away from the steaming appendage. All around, Garrison members and cadets leapt from the wall, some down into the city, others grouped at either end.
Eren could only stare at the chaos. He felt horror and dread, knowing what the titan was about to do. The gate. Armin and Mikasa were in Trost. They were below. He couldn’t lose them!
Eren turned and vaulted down the wall, using his ODM gear to make his fall faster than gravity. He had to find them! The titans were going to swarm the city!
They should be in the market, or if they saw the steam and heard the thunder, then they would be heading for their gear? Fuck, they should have planned for this!
Eren heard screaming and the thunderous bang of a gate being kicked in. Behind his back, he could feel whooshing air, as crumbling pieces of wall fell around him. Fuck, fuck.
He shot a line for a building and pulled away from the wall, barely avoiding the falling debris. Where would they go in a time of disaster? Their easiest escape would be into the cadet uniforms and wearing the gear. Then they could climb the wall and run along its top. Titans wouldn’t be on the wall, just inside them.
As long as they didn’t run into any of the cadet commanders, then they would be okay. Everyone knew everyone at this point, so a new face would certainly be a reason for concern.
Well, maybe not with the wall being kicked in, again.
“Jaegar!” A commanding voice halted Eren in his tracks and he groaned. Wonderful. “Regroup at the Air Depot! You won’t find your family in this mess.”
“Sir!” Eren spun to salute his Lieutenant, recognizing the voice.
“If you see any other cadets, relay my message! Dismissed!” The Lieutenant headed for the gates, swords at the ready.
Eren gnashed his teeth and followed his orders. At the very least, the Depot was a good place to start looking for his family.
Commander Erwin checked his men and looked to Hange. “We’ll need to return to the city. We’re running low on everything. I know we didn’t find what you needed, but we’ll come back out again.”
Hange chewed on her knuckle, glasses glinting in the light. “If only I could catch an abnormal.” She muttered. “Then we could find out what makes them different and maybe capitalize on that. Of course, Sonny and Beane are still back at home. I miss them…”
Erwin watched her mumble into her knuckle. He turned Levi on his other side. The captain was giving Hange a disgusted look. “Levi.” The captain’s eyes snapped to his own. “We’ll leave cover at first sign of dusk, to return to the walls.”
“Of course.” Levi nodded and walked away. “Then I’ll finally be able to take a fucking shower.”
Erwin rubbed his hair and watched his two officers muttering to themselves. “We’re all insane.”
A few days later, the corps was shocked to see a trail of dust being kicked up heading away from the city, towards them.
“Oooh?” Hange jumped to stand on her horse’s saddle, wrapping her hands around her eyes to avoid the sun’s glare. “Are we running into some abnormals?” Her squealing cut off with a solid swat to the face.
“Shut the fuck up, goggles.” Levi, too, rose in his saddle and squinted at the approaching dust cloud. “They’re not headed directly in our way. We could avoid them with a diversion to the right.”
“We need to get home, not fight titans.” Erwin spoke over Hange, then continued when she began to cry out in dismay. “Levi, you can take your squad to investigate, but don’t engage. Send a flare if it’s anything odd.”
“Understood.”
“Leviiiii.” Hange cried, begging eyes aimed in the shorted man’s way.
“Shut the fuck up.” Levi replied and reined his horse away from the center line. “To me!” He called, and his squad quickly grouped.
Once they’d all gathered and were following him away from the pack, he spoke. “The Commander wants us to investigate whatever the fuck that is. If it’s titans, we’re not engaging. If it’s unusual enough to warrant his attention, we’ll fire a flare. But we’re not engaging. We don’t need anything stopping us from a good bath. Understood?”
“Sir!”
Send a flare if it’s anything odd. Petra fired a black flare without order, her eyes just as wide as the rest of them.
The sight of two cadets riding two horses and leading three was very fucking odd. What the actual hell was going on here? They were too far away for a visual on any identifying features, yet. But the cadet uniform was clear as fucking day. Their horses were laden with sacks. One had a saddle on it, which meant they already lost a member from their little suicide mission.
“…Sir?” Petra asked, voice quavering.
“Fuck. Fuck!” Levi looked at the towering plume of black smoke, at the insane cadets, then back at the slowing Survey Corps. “Oluo, get Hange. Tell Erwin what you see here. Petra, with me. Erd, with him.
“We’re going to find out what the hell they’re doing.”
“Sir!” His team split.
Levi swung his horse around, Petra at his side as they rode to meet the fleeing cadets. In all his years in the corps, Levi had never seen this.
When their eyes laid on him and Petra, they were close enough he could see their shock and fear. That answered one question, they weren’t out here trying to find them. Also, he noticed a third cadet was hanging over the blonde’s saddle like sack of equipment. The boy must be injured, probably the third rider.
“Halt!” Levi called to the nearing cadets. He frowned when he saw their mouths moving. Their horses kept the steady pace. “Halt, cadets!” He yelled when he realized they weren’t going to. “That’s an order!”
He snapped his horse’s reins and made to intercept them, irritated beyond belief at their stupidity. They would die out here. What the hell?
“Levi!” He growled at the sound of Hange’s voice.
“What, Hange?” He refused to take his eyes off the cadets. This was ridiculous.
“Levi, the Walls.” Her unusually serious voice had his eyes snapping to the direction the cadets had come from. The walls. The cloud of dust they initially thought was kicked up by the cadets was coming from the walls. “Leave them, we need to return.” She snapped back, her horse coming alongside his. “The last time a cloud that large rose, was when the colossal destroyed wall Maria.”
Fuck.
He shot a poisoned look at the cadets. Deserters, no doubt. Though why they thought deserting into titan-infested territory was beyond him.
Wide-eyed, the blonde’s eyes met his. The black-haired leaned over their horse and urged it on, the other hand holding the lead ropes.
God dammit.
“Let’s hope there’s something left in the walls.” He snarled and wheeled his horse away from the deserters and toward the place he’s sworn to protect.
As he rejoined the main group, he chanced a glance over his shoulder and watched the fleeing cadets disappear over a hill. They wouldn’t last a day out there. Whatever caused them to leave their only safe haven – they were insane. No more insane than the rest of the survey corps.
He faced forward, toward the Walls and safety.
“Oh, my walls!” Armin gasped, a hand clutching his chest, the other firmly holding Eren’s shoulders in place. “That was Captain Levi!”
“I thought he’d be taller.” Mikasa observed, unpacking their gear in the bough of the tree. “Though he did have some fire in his eyes, I’ll give him that.”
“What were the odds that we would run straight past the Survey Corps, returning from a mission?” Armin rubbed a hand down his face. “What were the odds?”
“About as good as Eren turning into a titan.” Mikasa replied, bringing back the other matter at hand.
“Yes.” Armin snapped. “I was trying to ignore that factor.”
“I’d rather he be a titan than titan food, Armin.” Mikasa poked Armin’s side. “You saw him get eaten.”
“And I am still reeling from that!” Armin shouted back, shoving Mikasa’s hand away. “The walls were kicked in, Eren was eaten, Eren was a titan, we got out, then he went back and closed the wall, then he passed out and almost got eaten again. I was there, Mikasa.”
“Well, why are you so upset, then? Huh?” She pushed his chest, prodding. “If anything, this is the best-case scenario. You saw him get eaten, his little cadet friends saw him get eaten, they won’t be looking for him. Your plan worked perfectly!
“In fact,” she continued, nastily. “The humans won’t even miss us because of the mess. They’ll be too busy cleaning up to worry about both of us missing. Hannes will think we were eaten. We got all our gear. We were prepared. We’re free.” She trailed off and stopped pushing on Armin’s chest. “We’re free.”
Armin’s head fell to his chest, and he looked down at Eren’s slumped body. They were free. He looked around at the land before them, rolling green hills and trees as tall as the Walls. This was the world he wanted to be a part of. “When Eren wakes up, then we’re free.”
“Don’t worry Armin,” Mikasa’s voice was soft. She settled down beside him on the branch and wrapped an arm around both of Armin’s shoulders. The other hand rested on Eren’s chest. “He’ll wake up. Eren is strong. We’re all strong. We’ll survive- no, we’ll live.”