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It was a beautiful day in the neighborhood as Nichole and her friend, Nathan, were coming home from school.
"Thank Goodness, it's Friday.
“Yup, after surviving another day of school, I can't wait to kick back and...."
Suddenly, POP! POP! POP! They heard shots going off in the distance.
"Oh no, it's the High Schoolers," Nichole panicked.
“They must've been let out early," said Nathan frantically.
You never want to be around when the high school kids are out of school early, especially on a Friday. They get together and wreak havoc with their paintball guns loaded. It's like open season but with paint. In desperation, they crawled their way through a storm drain. That drain led them right toward Lock and Key Prison. Nathan lifted the lid of the manhole cover and peeked out to see if it was safe to emerge.
“I think the coast is clear,” he reported.
“Great, now get us out of here. It stinks,” Nichole said.
He climbed out first, then helped Nicki out next.
“Ugh, I smell like hog ass.”
“I’m sure we’ll be able to get cleaned up once we’re home,” he assured.
Suddenly, they were shocked from behind by a prison guard with a stun gun.
“Geez, what the hell was that for?” Nichole stuttered, twitching from the painful shock.
“Trying to pull escape, 777174?”
“Oh no, sir. You must be mistaken. We're not 777174, we're only 14,” Nathan corrected.
"14 1/2 actually," Nichole corrected.
"14 1/2? Okay, you're both 14 1/2," the officer chuckled, evilly.
And so the two were prisoners #14 1/2. Talk about mistaken identity, am I right? They were then put to work in the rock pile, breaking rocks.
“My mother told me there’d be days like this,” the rich boy sulked.
Suddenly, they were frightened by a whip crack.
“Put your back into it, ladies,” the guard roared, “You’ll both be doing 50 years or my name isn’t Harvey Shaw... and it is.”
Just then, Nichole put her best acting skills from Drama Club to good use, "Hey, look! Someone's making a break for it! Quick! Quick!"
“What? Where? Which way did he go?”
While the guard was distracted, Nathan loaded the cannon nearby with their shared stone ball.
“There he goes, over the north wall,” Nathan pointed out.
“Halt or I fire,” the prison guard called.
He lit the fuse and BOOM! The cannon fired, launching the two over the wall to freedom.
“So long, Officer. It was nice knowin' ya,” Nichole said as they waved him goodbye.
They succeeded in fooling the guard, but he immediately went out to fetch the two “prisoners” and brought them back. Inside, the two were tossed into a cell.
“Don’t bother asking for a phone call because neither of you will last one night here.”
“And you chose to prove that by throwing us outside,” Nathan said as the two dusted themselves off.
“What do ya mean outside? You’re inside,” the guard said.
“No, you’re inside. We’re outside,” Nichole corrected.
“Oh yeah? Well then, get in here!”
The two looked at each other and shrugged, doing as they were told. Officer Shaw then closed the cell door... with him in it.
“Boo-hoo, now I’ll never see my mommy and daddy again. Boo-hoo-hoo,” Nichole joked as the two walked away with keys in hand.
Shaw then looked around and noticed his error.
“Damn, they’re good,” he admitted.
Meanwhile, on the outside. . .
“I can’t believe that worked,” Nathan laughed.
"Yeah? I saw it on a Bugs Bunny cartoon last Saturday. He's my hero," Nichole swooned.
Suddenly, they were halted by a shotgun with Shaw at the end of it.
“You two lovebirds can take that crap to solitary confinement . . . for 99 years,” he barked.
“First of all, she's not my girlfriend. She's just a girl who is my friend," Nathan stated.
"Yeah, and second, you wouldn’t be so tough without that uniform.”
“Oh, I wouldn’t, huh?”
The cocky officer took off his jacket while Nathan did the same, gesturing Nichole to stand back. Such a young gentleman. As he started swinging, Nichole replaced her prison garments with a policeman’s uniform.
"Mrs.Hilton would be so proud," Nichole said, admiring herself in a mirror.
Back with Shaw and Nathan, the two engaged in arm wrestling. Once he saw Nichole coming back, he threw the game and "backed off".
“Well, what do you know? I guess you would,” Nathan putting on the officer’s suit jacket.
“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” Shaw said, putting on Nathan's prison garb.
The two put on their switched outfits. Once clothed, Nichole hands Nathan a police whistle. He blew it. Realizing he had made another mistake, Harvey tried to run, but his fellow officers had already apprehended him and locked him away.
“Let me out here! Let me out of here! I’m a police officer, a man of the law,” he yelled as he saw the two in blue walk on by, “Get me a mouthpiece! I want a habeas corpus!”
“We're getting you outta here, see? I haven’t forgotten what you did for Mary and the kids, see?” Nathan whispered, handed Nichole a cake.
Nicki then cautiously scooted in front of the cell and handed him an escape kit shaped like a cake, “Here, follow the map inside, and you can’t go wrong.”
Using the tools inside, he dug a tunnel from the prison cell and into what appeared to be a jungle. With his newfound freedom, he trekked through the thick bushes and left. He took a quick peek out from the bushes to see where he was when he heard a voice shouting . . .
“SHAW! What is the meaning of this?”
It turned out to be Warden Fairway’s office.
Outside of her office, you can hear her giving Shaw quite an earful, “I won’t stand for any more of your nonsense! Now get out, OUT!”
Shaw walked out of the warden’s office and grumbled, “I hate her.”
In the exercise yard, Stolas and Blitzo had just met up with the kids. When their parents got worried, Blitzo and Stolas went out looking for them. Thank Goodness, Warden Fairway was so understanding when Stolas explained everything to her. The human disguises helped.
“Thank heavens, you two are all right. I was beginning to worry when I overheard your mother say you didn't come home,” Stolas said as they walked.
“Don’t worry about it, Stolas. We had everything under control,” Nathan said as the two winked at each other.
"HALT!" Harvey came after them with a nightstick in hand.
“Uh oh, here we go again."
They turned a corner and climbed up to the hangman’s post. Blitzo then pressed a button, and they went down like an elevator.
“Come back here, you maggots!”
Once the platform returned, he pressed the button, but then he was caught in the hangman’s noose. Luckily, he wasn’t killed but was just hanging around. Suddenly, a voice boomed.
“SHAW! OFFICE!”
Fearing the worst, he entered the warden’s office with his hat off. The only thing he didn’t know was that the warden wasn’t the warden at all. It was Nichole dressed like her. The boys hid underneath the desk, watching the joke unfold.
“Well, come in, Shaw,” she said with the Warden’s Irish accent, “Have a cigar.”
“Oh, my favorite,” he said, taking one and sniffing it.
“Yeah, pull up a chair and sit down, Shaw.”
Pulled up the electric chair and sat in it, crossing his legs with a smirk.
“Shaw, I’ve been getting some good reports about you. Oh, pardon me, I have a light.”
Terrance held out his cigar, thinking she had a lighter, but Nichole pulled the switch for the chair, and then ZAP! He was fried, and his cigar disintegrated.
“Warm enough for you, Shaw?” Nichole said, scratching her head.
But of course, she would make the mistake of scratching her hair, thus causing her wig to fall off, blowing their cover. Shaw saw it and then pulled out his baton and tried to whack her. Luckily, he missed.
The group gave chase out of the office and then back in with Harvey behind them.
“Come back here, you hooligans!”
Inside, they were nowhere to be found, just the warden herself, reading a magazine, but Shaw didn’t know that because as soon as he approached her desk . . .
“Yes?”
WHAM! He hit her over the head. When she arose from the floor with a lump on her head, her eyes lit with rage.
"Hello... boss," he laughed nervously.
“I’ve had all the tomfoolery I’m gonna take from you. QUIET! One more slip, you good-for-nothing bonehead, and you’ll be looking for another job. Now get out, OUT,” she shouted.
And Shaw walked out of the office, stunned and terrified. Meanwhile, in the prison’s exercise yard, the boys watched as Nichole arm-wrestled one of the inmates.
"Nicki! Nicki! Nicki! Nicki!"
Boom! She won, and the crowd went wild.
"Nice going, kid. You got a good arm."
"Thanks, mister," Nichole smiled as the two shook hands.
“Alright, break up the sewing circle!” The inmates took off, sore, and just when it was getting good. “And as you . . .”
With four of them at gunpoint, he led them to the front gate.
“Hunt, 2,3,4! Hut, 2,3,4! Halt,” he then opened the door and shouted, “Now, get out before I have you casting a polka dot shadow!”
“Alright, alright, we’re leaving,” Blitzo said as they left. He then turns to Stolas and whispers, “That guy needs to get laid.”
"Indubitably," the owl replied.
Once they were gone, he locked the gates tight.
“They’re gone! They’re gone! I’m rid of them,” he said, laughing hysterically.
“SHAW! OFFICE,” the warden shouted on the intercom.
“Oh no,” he groaned with dismay as he took his hat off in shame.
The next day, Warden Fairway was watching all the inmates as they were having group therapy sessions while former Officer Shaw was breaking rocks in the rock pile.
“I’d like to know the dirty stool pigeon who squealed on me,” he grumbled.
Harvey was then hit in the back of the head with a spit wad. He turned around and saw the kids and their demon friends sitting on the wall, cooing like pigeons.
“Better to be a stool pigeon than a rat,” said Nichole.
THAT'S ALL, FOLKS!