Work Text:
"I hope you are satisfied with yourself, Yue."
Bulan only scoffed at their mother's words. They didn't think that it mattered if they were satisfied or not. It was stupid, to be sent to detention for something as dumb as their mother's nicknames for them. They looked up at their mother, her eyes were focused on the road. She didn't glance at them nor say another word to them. It was like they became invisible. Bulan rolled their eyes before shifting to look out of the car window, seeing the snowflakes dance in the wind. To only be a snowflake seemed like a dream to them, floating freely in the wind and not caring about someone's expectations for them. Snowflakes were only created to look pretty and to tease the young kids who stick out their tongues, waiting for it to land on their tongue and melt into the warm, fleshy caves. "When your detention ends, straight to your room. Don't even think about sneaking out with Summer. That boy is trouble." Their mother spoke again, her tone was threatening and stroked a slight fear into Bulan.
If only they made the right decision in going with their father.
"No he isn't! At least Summer is a better person than you. All you know is how to make someone go crazy. You know that, bunda? I go crazy living with you. Living with you for 17 years, you think I didn't go crazy? I did! I went insane- I want out of that house! At least detention will be better than staying in that depressing piece of junk you call a home!" Bulan screamed, wiping away tears that ran down their cheeks. "I just want to live with ayah." They sniffled, moving their thick black bangs out of their eyes. Bulan didn't make eye contact with their mother, they couldn't bear to look into her almond eyes.
"Pack your bags then. You go ahead and live with your father! I don't understand why you want a horrid man in your life. I gave you everything you ever wanted-"
"You never gave me shit! You never pay attention to me, you never hear what I have to say! All you pay attention to is Murni! You give her so fucking much shit all because she came from another man. You never thought how that made me feel? When I was ten, seeing you give Murni so much care. I wished that you would pay attention to me! I got good grades, I made you tea. Just to feel loved. You never thought that maybe I needed a mother too? Or do you think that I'm not worth it because I look like my ayah? Do you see himself in me? Do you hate how I look more Indonesian than Chinese? Is that why you hate me so much?" Bulan sobbed, they slid further down in the car seat. They were inches away from falling down onto the floor. Their mother only looked at them with wide eyes. Shock was written on her face as she watched Bulan sob and hide themself in their leather jacket. It was as if they were five years old again, witnessing their parents argue. "I wish you would notice me more often." They muttered, unbuckling the seat beat.
"Yue, I didn't-"
"No! I'm going." Bulan snapped at her, rushing out of the car before slamming the door. They didn't look back at the car nor their mother. They kept their head down, staring at the concrete. Bulan walked hastily up the series of stairs that held the entrance to the school. They didn't need their mother's phoney apologies or her pity. It would only make Bulan's resentment worse. They would've slapped her if they hadn't gotten out of that car sooner. Maybe, they should've done it sooner to make her realize what she has been doing to her own child. They swung the school's door open, walking inside with loud clicks of their platform heels echoing in the halls.
Bulan looked at the bright red lockers that were surrounding the building. It was a reminder of the amount of times they dreaded going to their classes. They caught a glimpse of their own locker. It was covered with doodles and poems from over the years alongside some signatures of classmates. A small smile spread across their face, remembering the people who grabbed their marker and started going wild with quotes and signatures. They took a sharp right turn, walking towards a dark brown door and swinging the door open.
They stood awkwardly in the library as eyes of different students were centered onto them like they were a celebrity. It made their skin crawl with the way they watched Bulan's every move, every step they took before sitting down next to someone who didn't seem to bother to look up at them and acknowledge their presence. They continued to draw on the desk with their pen, scratching the wood endlessly that made loud screeches. They had huge, jet black hair that resembled a bat's nest. The person wore a colorful beaded choker, it didn't match their dark clothes and stood out like a sore thumb similar to how Bulan wore a blue moon orchid necklace that their father gifted to them when he left.
They stared down at the ground, grabbing onto their orchid necklace. They remembered the different times they spent with their father. They were once bright, happy, and ambitious. They wanted to be like their father growing up, he was the most caring to them when they lost their handmade bracelets. They always loved playing with him, singing with him and dancing to their father's jazz music he always put on whenever their mother left the house. They would never forget the moment where they cut their long hair for the first time with a pair of regular scissors in the bathroom. It was the first time they loved looking in the mirror, they couldn't stop making up random poses and playing with their shoulder length hair. They even grabbed ahold of their mother's makeup, dragging the red lipstick wand across their pillowy lips.
"Well, here we are. I want to congratulate you all for being on time." The voice snapped them back in reality, the voice was deep and raspy as sandpaper dragged on a blackboard. The man was holding a stack of papers and pencils, he had the look of a disappointed father staring down at his misbehaving children. He was a slightly stout, ruddy, middle-aged man with black hair with grey streaks. He was absurdly well-dressed with a tailored tan suit that wasn't too big or too small.
Suddenly, a hand with pink nails was raised. She had strawberry blonde hair, it was slightly choppy like someone had cut it with closed eyes. Half of her hair was pulled up into a ponytail with a little pink scrunchie. "Excuse me, sir? I think there's been a mistake. I know it's detention.. um.. I don't think I belong in here." She said with innocent, baby doll eyes. The girl was stupid, stupid enough to try and manipulate her way out of detention. She patiently waited for the man to answer.
"..It is currently seven o'eight A.M." The man said, ignoring what the girl had told him. She scoffed and rolled her eyes before looking at the student sitting next to her, silently pleading for an answer as to why. "You have exactly eight hours and fifty four minutes to think why you're here to ponder the error of your ways. You may not talk." He pointed at the girl which she gave him an ugly look. "You will not move from these seats." The man looked at one of the students who had shifted to sitting at one of the chairs at the far end of the room. "And you will not sleep." He finished listing off the rules, swiftly taking away one of the chairs from off one of the student's feet.
"Alright, people. We are going to try something a little different today. We are going to write an essay of a thousand words. The essay will describe who you think you are. When I say essay, I mean essay. I do not want a single word repeated a thousand times. Is that clear, Ms. Piliang?" He asked, passing around papers and pencils to the students before brisk walking back to the front of the room. Bulan wanted to get up from their chair, walk over to the man and punch him so hard a tooth his gets knocked out. They despised the way the man always called them "miss." It was degrading, it made the tiny hairs on their arms stand up and it made them want to scream and shout. "Crystal." Bulan managed to say without spewing a couple of cuss words alongside it.
"Good. If you learn a little something about yourself, maybe you'll even decide whether or not you care about returning to school."
The same student who changed seats stood up unexpectedly. He wore a light brown zip-up jacket that gave the illusion of leather with a black shirt underneath. He gave off the impression of being a teacher's pet."Uh.. You know I can answer that right now, sir. You know that it will be a no, a no for me 'cause-" He spoke with a soft voice, fidgeting with his brown oak, chubby fingers. His hair was similar to how Roxana used to do her's but his was thick and coarse and pulled into locks that looked like braids, but weren't, like the people from Louisiana Summer always talked about whose skin was dark and always glistening in the sunlight.
"Sit back down, Mr. Albern."
"Of course, Mr. Johnson."
"My office is across that hall. Any funny business is ill-advised. Any questions?" Mr. Johnson asked, glancing across the room. Every single one except the person sitting across Bulan shook their head. When he left, the room grew silent for a few minutes before a clicking sound started to appear. It hurt Bulan's ears, wishing it would go away. They turned slowly to see what the sound was coming from. The culprit was none other than the student who was doodling on the desk, they were biting their fingernails obnoxiously. Once they caught notice of the students staring at them, they lifted their head. The student wore heavy makeup, their face was painted a porcelain white that didn't match their olive skin and their eyeliner that went past their eyes and onto their eyebrows as well. Their lips were painted with a midnight black. They were gorgeous to Bulan. They were a little odd, of course but they couldn't take their eyes off of them.
"Keep eating your hand and you won't be hungry for lunch." A student had told them, they had a cherry red frohawk with tiny braids on the sides of his head that paired well with their hickory skin. The student spit out a piece of their fingernail at him in spite, he flinched only a little bit. "I've seen you before..." Montgomery muttered before staring at Albern who was playing with his pen. It was an awkward encounter, they both took off their jacket at the same time whilst he stared them down before turning to look at the teenagers in the first row and throwing a paper ball that was inches away from hitting the girl.
The student had soon start to hum a tune, tapping their boot on the carpet floor. "I can't believe this is really happening to me." The girl murmured, laying her head on the desk.
"Oh shit! What if we have to take a piss?"
"Please.."
"You gotta go, you gotta go." He said, hunching over and bouncing his leg rapidly. Bulan managed to suppress a laugh, looking away from the scene before glancing back when the guy in the front turns around.
"Hey, you're not urinating in here, man."
"Don't talk- don't talk- it makes it crawl back up."
"If you whip it out, you'll be dead before the first drop hits the floor."
"You're pretty sexy when you get angry." He said, looking up at the guy with a smirk. Bulan signed deeply, trying to hide their laughter. They were rather glad to be dropped off at detention, seeing unintentionally funny interactions calmed their nerves. "Hey, homeboy." The student said, nodding to Albern who was too busy playing with their pen and doodling different animals on the page Mr. Johnson gave out. "How about you shut the door and we all impregnate the prom queen?"
"Hey."
"What?"
"Don't make me lose my temper or you'll get totaled, man."
"Totally?"
"Totally."
"How about you shut up, nobody's interested." The girl argued, lifting her head off the desk and fixing her bangs. She flipped him off before he could open his mouth to speak. Her face was rather pretty, she had rosey, chubby cheeks that had light brown freckles sprinkled across. She looked extremely familiar to Bulan. Maybe this was the girl who hopped in a train with Roxana, her description was a perfect match as well.
//
Twelve o'clock rolled around. Mr. Johnson came out of his office and announced;
"Alice and Bulan are going to the teacher's lounge to retrieve soft drinks." He yelled, pointing at them. Bulan swiftly stood up, almost falling before slamming their hand on the desk which echoed in the room. "On your feet, Alice. This isn't a rest room." They scoffed, rolling their eyes before grabbing their sling bag. They walked out of the library, Alice following behind. They were busy spraying their bat's nest with hairspray, making sure to tease it a little.
"So... What do you like to drink?" Bulan asked, looking back at Alice. They stayed silent, looking down at the ground. "Okay.. forget I asked." They sighed, playing with their fingers awkwardly.
"Vodka."
"Vodka? When do you drink vodka?"
"Whenever." Alice replied, sprinting next to Bulan and getting close to their face. It made their cheeks heat up a little, gulping anxiously. They had the same eye color, both jet black. But, their's resembled a doll's eyes. It was mesmerizing. "H-How much?" Bulan stuttered. They mentally cursed at themself, they suddenly felt more uncomfortable yet it felt so good.
"Tons." They smiled, showing off their braces. "Vodka is my key to happiness, Ms. Piliang. My own little happy pill."
Bulan scrunched up their nose, looking away from Alice. It felt so cruel being called a miss all the time from both adults and teenagers. "Is.. Is that why you got sent here?"
"Why are you here?" They argued, their smile formed into a scowl. They backed Bulan into a corner, their heart racing for every second that passed. Bulan tried to muster up a lie or something that told half of the truth. "I.. I.. I was the one who um.. vandalized the lavatory. I was.. pissed because um Mr. Johnson threatened to suspend me and my bunda suggested that I get sent to detention instead.. She really doesn't like it when I ditch or um miss school. You know?" Bulan mumbled, their voice becoming higher and their accent was starting to show despite the countless times they practiced in front of a mirror. It was a desperate lie of trying not to embarrass themself further.
"Interesting.. Now tell me why you are really here."
"No! Forget it. Let's just go."
//
In the back of the library, a circle was formed by the students. All of them had different cultural foods that they or their parents had made. It felt comforting being around people who come from different backgrounds, it would feel awkward being the only one who was eating 'weird' foods infront of people who did not have any sense of belonging in their cultures. Albern or.. Freddie, the boy had said his name was, had a pinoy pork chop binalot dish. He explained that his stepmother had always cooked this dish for him during his time in elementary school but he had learnt how to cook it due to the countless times he has saw her make it. The rice looked almost as fluffy as the clouds in the sky in contrast with the rough pork. Alice had brought pozole, it smelt earthy but also spicy. The bowl had many different textures inside it that was jumbled up. Mild Chile peppers, hominy, Cilantro, chicken, ect. The flavors in the soup was endless. Alice had also shared warm tortillas that she kept wrapped up in a pouch made for it.
"What are you having anyway, asshole? It looks like pepper steak." The girl announced, staring at the teenager with the red frohawk. She had her round face rested on her porcelain white palms. The teenager's eyebrows were lowered, his lips were tightened. He was offended, his amber eyes expressed the multiple options he had; either defend himself or make her enraged.
"My name's Montgomery and it's not fuckin' steak, dumbass."
"Okay... What is it?"
"It's from Liberia. It's also called Okra soup." Montgomery began explaining. He pointed his finger to the piece of meat that laid neatly side to side of firetruck red shrimp that was on top of light brown sauce that had African spices mixed in it alongside fish. Half of the black insulated container was filled with white rice. "And that is goat meat, not steak."
"Oh.. that's a little weird but I respect it. So, you are African?"
"Yes. I was born in Liberia. I was raised there for two years until moving to Louisiana then.. to this hellhole." Montgomery told her. His dark eyes lit up a bit when talking to her about Liberia, it seemed like the topic brought him comfort. "My mother told me this interesting fact about the soup when she was making it... During the civil war, the enslaved African Americans grew Okra and parched the seeds to give an illusion of it being coffee. It was common to sell it to the white soldiers, Confederate and Yankee."
"That is really interesting.." The student who sat infront of Montgomery when they were at the desks whispered. They had their full attention on him, their deep green eyes focused on the teenager.
"Thanks. Um.. so.. you never really gave us your name or anything. Do we call you indigo hair shitface?" Montgomery laughed, raising his eyebrows that had tiny silver piercings on the top of them. He adjusted his star-shaped sunglasses that were nearly on the brink of falling off of his head.
"Embarrassing as it is.. My name's Bonny with a y, not ie. My parents thought it would be cool to give me a girl's name." Bonny smiled, averting eye contact whilst fidgeting with his hands. His fingertips glided harshly on his slightly pale palms, tan cheeks began to flush. He stared down at his untouched chicken adobo. "I don't really feel like the name suits me."
"Bonny is a name derived from the Scottish dialect. It means pretty or beautiful or even charming and.. to be honest, you are a very good looking person." The girl complimented, flashing Bonny a sugary smile. His eyes widened, his mouth slightly open and his body went rigor mortis. Slight red dusted his high cheekbones. Everyone watched him, giving each other a few glances before Montgomery opened his mouth.
"So.. are you guys boyfriend-girlfriend?"
"What!"
"No! Nono! Are you crazy?!" The girl asked, almost snapping her neck to stare down Montgomery.
"Hey, girl with the freckles." Bulan finally spoke softly. Their voice was soft as silk. It was the only five words that they said the entire time after having that dreadful conversation with Alice. "Oh, so you speak. What's the matter?" The girl asked, her eyes trailing up and down Bulan's physique. They felt their body tingle once her daggers for eyes landed on theirs. "Is.. Is your name Cindy?" They managed to squeak out, trying to hide inside their leather jacket.
"Yeah. Why are you asking? What's your name since you magically know mine."
"I.. I just thought you looked familiar because my friend, Roxana described someone who looks like you! And.. My name is Bulan.." They muttered, looking away from Cindy's gaze that had softened a tad bit. They chewed on their bottom lip, a habit that they inhabited when they were feeling nervous or anxious. "Do.. do you know Summer Brooks? The one who moved here a few months ago..?"
"Yes..?"
"Oh, Summer! I know that guy. We used to be friends when we was kids! Now I know why he looked so familiar when I first saw 'im walking down the halls! We used to dance to the music that played in his ma's house." Montgomery piped in. His green eyes that were usually hidden away in the yellow sunglasses had lightened up from the memory. "I wonder if his ma remembers me."
"I bet you made messes in her house! She's probably still dreading the day you knock on her door!" Freddie exclaimed before exploding into a fit of high-pitched laughter that made Bonnet start giggling and covering his mouth with his soft hand. Freddie crossed his arms over his stomach in an attempt to catch his breath but instead he fell on the hard, carpeted floor with a loud 'thud.' "You're an asshole, dude!" Montgomery playfully argued, a small smile plastered on his face
//
"I know.. um it's kinda weird time for this but.. what did you guys do.. to get in detention?" Freddie asked in a soft voice, glancing around the room. The all grew quiet. Deathly quiet. It felt awkward yet terrifying because if Bulan answered Freddie- everyone would hear and judge them or criticize them. "I mean, you guys just don't really look like the type to get into detention. Even you, Montgomery. I only see people who are companions. People who I can trust." Everyone looked confused at Freddie's confession. Bonny looked down at his body for a quick second before lifting their head up, seemingly asking himself in his head if he is worth being in detention. Cindy let out a quiet sigh, shaking her head a tiny bit. She was in denial, she made it obvious that she didn't agree with Freddie. Alice fidgeted with their fingers that had black nail polish glimmer in the dim library. they were expressionless but deep down, they were probably asking Freddie why he would think that they were actually a good student. Montgomery, Montgomery didn't hold an expression or act of shame or denial. He was surprised, shocked even. His eyes lit up, Montgomery was possibly telling himself that his parents will still respect him if he seemed like someone who another person could be trusted. In contrast, Bulan was a wreck. They didn't know how to think about the situation clearly or even react. They were hopeless in this. If Freddie found out what they did.. they would take back the kind words they said or even make fun of them- maybe call them a girl on purpose. It wasn't like Bulan has ever committed a serious crime. But, to an extent, it may seem like they did.
"My home life is unsatisfying." Alice began. "I don't have to run away to the streets. I can run away and I can go to the ocean. I can go to the country, I can go to the mountains, I can go to Israel, Africa... Afghanistan. I can run away and forget that there is stuff that is miserable like my parents. So, do you guys want to know what I did to get in here..? Nothing. I didn't have anything better to do. But, being here with you guys has made me change my mind about running away to somewhere that is eight hours away from here once detention is over. I really.. want to hang out together after detention but I know we can't. You all have lives outside of here.." They finished, giving a warm smile to the students who also copied their smile but it soon turned into giggles. "You.. You guys are laughing at me." Alice told them before devolving into laughter themself. They covered their mouth, not daring to show off their braces.
//
"I didn't do anything drastic to get out of detention." Cindy replied, she didn't look ashamed at all. She expressed her fondness of her reason to get into detention by smiling. "I went into detention because I skipped school to go shopping. We bought all types of things. Me and my best friend bought these really cute spring clothes and new makeup, nail polish and I bought her a new makeup pallette because her old one was falling apart. When... When we were going to go home, we were trying on our new lipstick... One of us wasn't paying attention to the road and.. and the car has these special set of controls and nobody knew who was driving so we hit a mailbox!" She told in between laughs. Bulan could tell that she was ashamed of wrecking the school's car. "It was really embarrassing! I mean, like all this mail flying out all over the place! The car was totaled. And we were just... I guess you just had to be there."
"I guess so." Montgomery replied with a soft giggle behind it.
"I'm sorry if that was a little bizarre though." Cindy apologized, her smile fading a little bit.
"We're all pretty bizarre. Some of us are better at hiding it, that's all." Bonny spoke up, leaning against the legs of the table they were sitting against. His eyes were soft when looking at her. "How are you bizarre, Bonny?" Cindy asked, her tone came off as condensing but her gentle expression told otherwise. "He can't think for himself." Bulan suggested. All different pairs of eyes landed on them. The feeling of impending doom crashed into them like ocean waves. His heart began fluttering as well. It may have only been for two minutes but to Bulan, it felt like an eternity.
"They're right.. you guys uh.. know what I did to get in here?" Bonny asked, glancing across to room to atleast spot any thing that can be recognized as knowing of what he did but all he got in response was a shake of the head from Alice and a shrug from Montgomery. "I taped Gabriel Martinez's buns together." He confessed. Cindy let out a stifled chuckle, trying not to glance at the other students to try not to laugh.
"That was you?" Freddie asked with wide eyes.
"You know him?"
"Yeah. I know him."
Bonny nodded. "Then you know how hairy he is, right?" He rhetorically asked. Montgomery was looking around the room, trying to stop himself from howling but his eyes landed on Bulan and they both went into a tiny fit of childish giggles. It died soon enough once Bonny uncovered the horrid aftermath of the situation. "Most of his hair came off, skin too. The bizarre thing is... I did it for my old man. I tortured this poor kid to make him think I was cool. He is always going off about when he was in school, all the wild things he used to do. You know, I got the feeling that he was disappointed that I never let loose on anyone." He confessed, swiping his sleeve across his eye. "So, I'm sitting in the locker room and I'm talking to my mate. Gabriel is undressing a few lockers away from me. He's kinda.. he's kinda skinny, weak and I started thinking about my father. There's an attitude about weakness and the next thing I knew, I jumped on top of him and started wailing on him.. my friends- they just started laughing and cheering me on." Bonny explained. He told everyone that he thought about Gabriel's father and the humiliation the poor student must've endured because of him wanting to make his father proud. It didn't feel real when it happened. It felt dream-like. Bonny expressed how hard it was to try and apologize to Gabriel for making his life a living hell. His voice was breaking with each word he said, there were no words to describe the type of pain Gabriel felt. "It's all my fault. It was an act of selfishness, an act of desperation for a parental figure's pride. God.. I fucking hate him. He's like this mindless machine that I can't even relate to anymore. "Bonny! You got to be number one! I don't tolerate any losers in this family! Your intensity is for shit! Win! Win! Win!" You know sometimes, I wish that I wouldn't be able to box anymore and he could forget all about me." Bonny uttered, his voice broke like glass being thrown.
"I.. I think your old man and my old man should get together and go bowling." Montgomery tried to joke, a sad attempt on trying to make Bonny feel better.
//
"What did you do, Bulan?" Alice asked, inviting them to confess.
Blood ran through their ears, memories of the event flashed through their mind like a photoshoot. Their heart began thudding in their chest. The concern on everyone's faces made their cheeks burn up and their feet start to tingle. They know they couldn't lie their way to a corner anymore, not when Alice can tell when they're lying. They blinked harshly, trying to make their vision go back to normal. The room, the students, they were all disfigured as if they were looking in a fish eye lens. They wished that they could go away, disappear, anything. Anything to make this feeling go away. "I got into a fight." Bulan managed to get out of their mouth. Phantom images of the brutal fight tore them apart, it broke them. They knew it wasn't their fault but nobody would understand. It was useless, they couldn't defend themself. "With.. With Clara Schmidt and.. and Finnegan Ramirez.. It wasn't my fault! It really wasn't! They- they started to make fun of me. I know, I know I'm not really that normal..I don't have that much friends.. I'm weird! I know I'm fucking weird and I hate it so much! I really hate being called a girl, I despite it so much that.. that I just snapped. Clara called me a tranny and.. I don't know what happened next but I know that I tasted blood and that my ears were ringing." Bulan whimpered, dissolving into helpless weeps. "Finnegan grabbed me by the jacket that.. that Summer gifted me.. He punched me. He punched me cause I told Clara to go fuck herself. I don't understand why Mr. Johnson.. I don't understand. There.. there was just so much happening.. that I got overwhelmed and.. and I don't know how to cope with my anger so.. so I punched Finnegan. I punched him so hard that I'm sure he has a black eye. Why did Clara fucking- she lied! I didn't do shit, I didn't call Finnegan a faggot! It was all of them who started to talk shit to me! I fucking.. I fucking hate it here." They sobbed, makeup was running down their face. The scratches, bruises and the scattered patches of loss pigmentation began to appear. They tried to hide their face, cover it with anything so the students wouldn't make fun of them.
Bulan let out a strangled sound, near a gasp and a whimper once they felt a sudden weight on them. They blinked away a few tears, looking up to get a glimpse of bright red hair hiding the face of Montgomery. His arms were wrapped around them. It gave them security.. they felt safe in his arms. "I'm so sorry, Bulan. You know, I don't think that you're weird. I don't really care that you're trans either. I just think you look pretty cool with and without makeup." Freddie complimented, rubbing the little bit of Bulan's back. "I think everyone else here agrees with Freddie. We're sorry if we ever made you uncomfortable." Cindy also said which to everyone nodded or said something in agreement.
"Thank you.." Bulan murmured, sniffling.
//
Thirty minutes as passed and the room has began to grow quiet once more. "I'm here because.. because Mr. Johnson found uh.. a gun in my locker." Freddie admitted, sighing softly.
"Why did you have a gun, Freddie?" Bonny asked.
"I.. I failed my physics class and.. and I thought I was a failure. It was like my whole life just shattered." Freddie admitted, breaking into tears and senseless sobs. "I was going to shoot myself. I didn't want my parents to get mad at me.. I know how my mom gets when I fail anything." He was a wreck. He almost spoke in unintelligible weeps, he covered his face with his chubby hands and started to wail. It pained everyone in the room, everyone could hear how much pain he has felt ever since middle school. He wasn't crying because of how relieving it was. No, it was a cry for help. It was a desperate call to get out of his parents torment. "It.. it was a flare gun. It went off in my locker and that's how Mr. Johnson found out." He looked towards Bonny who didn't have the look of sympathy or pity, he had the look of understanding. He understood how Freddie felt. He made it known by giving Freddie a hug and a nod.
The two things that seemed to have Freddie smiling.
//
"What about you, Montgomery?"
I pulled the fire alarm on Tuesday. I regretted it soon after I got home. He told me- no- he fuckin' said to me," Montgomery started. He then made his voice go an octave lower, mimicking his dad's tone before pointing at nothing but still gave an illusion that the 'nothingness' was supposed to be him. "Stupid, worthless, no-good-goddamn-free-loading-son-of-a-bitch, retarded, big-mouth, know-it-all asshole, jerk. And then.. my ma continued, "and don't you forget; lazy and disrespectful-" Montgomery turned to right, swinging his arm into the air mimicking a harsh slap. "Shut up, bitch! Go fix me fufu! But, oh this is where I fucked up, I told 'im, "what about you, dad?" "Fuck you." "No dad, what about you?" "Fuck you!" "No dad! What about you?!" "Fuck you!" Montgomery screamed, slamming his hand at the thin air. He threw his head back, groaning like he had just got punched in the face.
"Is.. Is that for real?" Freddie asked. He looked scared, his eyes were wide and tears seemed to latch onto his eyelashes.
"You wanna come over sometime, Freddie?" Montgomery asked, his voice threatening to break into sobs. "Look, I know that you people don't believe me.. I know it! I see it all in your eyes. So, I'll give you fuckin' proof right now." Montgomery muttered, rolling up his see-through sleeve that hid under his tank top. He flashed his arm, tiny black dots were scattered on the soft and tender flesh. "You see this? Huh? It's about the size of a cigar. Do I stutter? See, this is what you get in my house when you do stupid shit at school." Finally, the dam broke. Tears flooded his cheeks, erratic breathing was heard from Montgomery. He curled up in a ball, trying to hide his vulnerability. Nobody in the room looked at him with disgust. Bulan yearned to give him a hug, any comforting word but they knew that they couldn't connect with how much pain he had to endure.
The way Bulan looked at Montgomery was apparent that they understood how it felt to be treated with that level of disrespect. Everyone looked at each other. They all saw themselves in each student. They felt connected to one another.
It was comforting.