Archive of Our Own ^beta

At seven in the morning on a Friday, Levi was getting ready to go to work.

He kept as silent as he could, fearing he'd wake his husband up.
Not that getting to work on time for once was going to hurt the brunet, but he was so cute sleeping in, in their large bed.

Right as the raven man turned the WiFi on, notifications started to pop up on his phone; and, among messages and texts, he'd received an email.
He rarely got any email on his personal phone: it could only be one thing.

He immediately ran to wake Eren up.

"Eren..! E-reeee-nnn!"
"M-mh, what is it, bubba?"
The younger man yawned, stretching his long limbs before finally opening his eyes.

Levi nearly jumped onto the bed -very very out of character for him- and showed his phone to the brunet, whom immediately took a hand of his to his mouth: he felt like smiling, yelling, tearing up at the same time.

"Dear Messrs Jäger-Ackermann,
I am writing you to announce that our agency has been able to match your profile with a child's whom was recently welcomed in one of our shelters in Trost.

You both, as potential  adoptive  parents, are requested to visit said structure and child within two weeks from the day this email will be sent.
Familiarising with the child is the most important step in any adoption  journey , and we sincerely hope you and the little one will bond at  first  sight.

Here are the address and times of visiting of the 'Trost's children home';
Monday-Thursday 15-18
Friday-Saturday 14-17
No visits are  allowed  on Sundays"

The final greetings were never read, as Eren jumped onto his husband, and Levi could only hug him back.
On that day, the raven man was caught crying a bit.

They'd been on waiting list for a very long time, now, while other people looking to adopt that attended their same seminars and meetings, seemed to reach their goal of being matched to a child much quicker than them.

It hurt, they had no idea what they were doing wrong.
Not everyone they'd met on their journey had been nice to them; they sure faced a lot of discrimination, outside and inside that field.

Eren had caught his husband picking at the scars on his face, at night, in their bathroom.
Levi feared Eren was never going to have the child he wanted, because of the monster he was married to.

"You are no monster, bubba. I love you."
"The kid will be scared of me."
"They won't."
"Yes, they will."

"I tell you no, Levi. They'll be too busy adoring their new dad, to really notice the scars."
"Please, don't... give me any false hope."
"Love, turn around, let's hug.."

Even if the law had recently allowed it, adoptions by same-sex couples weren't looked good upon.

But Eren and Levi were determined: they wanted a big family, they had spare rooms and much love to give, they couldn't wait to hold their baby.

"I-I'm cancelling work, I wanna see the kid today!"
Eren reached for his phone at the other side of the bed, like he wasn't still holding Levi to himself.

"I am joining, of course..! Erwin's lazy ass cancelled today's meeting anyway."

¤¤¤

After having made sure that the couple was there to see the child that had been matched to them, both men were escorted by a volunteer, to the end of a long corridor, just in front of a huge door that seemed to open to an also large room.

They were asked to wait outside for a second, while that person got the kid for them.

Levi reached for Eren's hand and squeezed it a bit; they could hear many children's laughs and voices, still through a thick wall.

"They sound like they're having fun."
"Mmh, I'm happy they are. They all deserve that, and much more."

The brunet leaned closer to his man, and lightly kissed his head; Levi had personally gone through foster care, he knew just how hard it was to live in a shelter without a one-on-one caregiver.

"You'll be an amazing dad, honey."
Levi smiled a bit, one of his small but sweet smiles, looking up at Eren.

They couldn't do much more, that the door opened again.
Levi and Eren held their breath as the same volunteer came out, dragging a little girl along side them.

"So, this is Selene..!"
The girl still hid behind the volunteer's legs, only peeking a bit at the two strangers, with her big, dark eyes.

"She's three, almost four, and she's been here for a little over a month.
Can you say hi, sweetie..?"

Quick, they had to put in practice what they'd learned at the countless seminars they'd attended.
"Hi Selene, my name's Eren..!"
"And I'm Levi!"

Silence.

"Selene, what about we go play with Eren and Levi in the pink room for a bit..? I heard they brought cookies with them!"

Both men froze as the child still didn't look at them.
Levi bit his lower lip: he knew something like this could happen, he'd prepared himself, but... it still stinged, a lot.

Eren guessed what was going on, and tightened the grip around his husband's hand.

"Oh, don't worry, it's completely normal on first meetings.
We're gonna go wash our hands before eating and Levi and Eren will be waiting for us, okay..?"

Selene now looked at them, still hiding as much as she could against the volunteer's arm and chest as they held her on their hip.

¤¤¤

The cookies really did help to break the ice.
In about half an hour, Selene was playing with building blocks in front of the men, asking them to pass some for her tower.

Levi sat a little bit back, mostly watching in adoration his husband playing with the girl that could've been their daughter, very soon.

He waited and waited, to try to join them. He didn't want to ruin anything, but... he knew he needed to participate.

He was just too scared, of Selene getting away from him in fear.

Thankfully, the volunteer chaperoning for them, had his back.
They got up and sat on their heels next to the girl, who immediately looked up at them.

"Selene, I think Levi is feeling a little left out. Can you maybe help him..?"
Selene's big eyes finally set on the raven man.

She looked for a bit, while the raven did his best to smile softly: it was hard, for the cut in his upper lip.
But he still tried, and tried.

"Mmh. Levi, pass the roof, please..?"
Selene pointed behind the man's back, asking for a plastic roof she could put on top of her tower.

Quick, Levi, that's your chance..!

"Oh, is it this one..?"
"Ye!"
"Here you go.."

The girl stopped for a second, adjusted her hair out of her face, and smiled timidly.
"Thank you!"

¤¤¤

"Bye Selene, see you soon!"
"Bye Selene, was nice to see you!"

The girl waved back at her soon-to-be parents, and followed another volunteer as the same person from the front desk wanted to speak with the couple privately.

That was their fourth meeting with Selene, already, and they had another scheduled for the following week.
They'd already told their friends and family that they were 99% sure, they were going to bring a little girl home.

Eren had painted one of their spare rooms yellow, white and orange, while Levi had built the bed and some other furniture; the agency greatly appreciated all of this.
Everything was ready, they just missed little Selene.

And, finally, less than a month before her fourth birthday, her new parents were finally allowed to take her home.

But, before that, they needed to have one more talk with the agency.

As they walked to a meeting room, Eren wiped his eyes, sniffled a little, while his husband rubbed his arm and pretended like he wasn't seeing double for the tears, too.

"Before you take Selene home next week, there's... a few things we need to discuss.
She comes from, as you know, the other side of the country; her mother lost custody of her last year, she lived with some relatives, but no one ever applied for formal adoption.

She is scared of dogs and loud noises, and she has sometimes obsessed over food."

Both men swallowed hard. That poor little girl with a such sweet smile, had been through a lot already.

"Therapy could help, but for the mean time it's better that she doesn't meet any large dog, and that she isn't exposed to loud noises.
Also, about the food, remember when my colleague Percy talked to you guys about getting a snack basket?"

"Sure..! We checked those out online, we coule get one delivered in 12 hours at any time."

"Alright, Selene's definitely going to need one of those where she can reach, at all times. Some of her favourites are, uhm..."
They cheked out some notes: it was nearly impossible, to rememeber so many kids' likes and dislikes.

"Unsalted crackers are her ultimate comfort food. She started to eat more fruit once she got here, she didn't seem to have had the chance to eat a lot before.
She loves persimmon and isn't a picky eater at all.

She sleeps with that bunny she showed you the other time, but I gotta mention this again."

Levi took notes as Eren held his other hand under the table.
They gently squeezed each other's hand, as in comforting their lover when there wasn't room for talking.

"She may have some problems with bath times, but she's well potty trained.
I suggest you let her take baths in a swimming suit, the first times.

Her current schedule basically consists of: wake up at seven, then she can put on undies, trousers and a shirt on by herself although she needs help with socks, then she has breakfast, usually oatmeal and a glass of warm milk.
Then someone does her hair, and by nine she attends kindergarten.

She has a snack at ten and lunch at midday.
She sometimes takes a nap between two and three.
She gets another snack at four, and she's usually hungry for dinner by seven.
She goes to sleep at nine at most."

Both men nodded, and together with the volunteer, went through the girl's routine once again.

"Of course, you're welcome to apply small and gradual changes to fit you guys' own schedules.
Her preschool is only fifteen minutes by car or bus away from your street, so she could as well keep attending it."

"We wanted to ask about... what she likes to do in her free time."
"Oh, well, she's still very young, she just plays and draws all the time like any kid her age.
We encourage you to let her try as many experiences as you can provide her with, so she can figure out a sport or an activity she likes."

Both husbands looked at each other, still holding hands under the table.

"And that's all..! We'll be driving her to your place next week, and you're going to sign the papers!
Congratulations!"

¤¤¤

Eren walked back in their kitchen as he was done showering, and changing into more comfortable clothes; he immediately went to hug his love from behind, as the raven man cooked dinner.

The brunet nuzzled up against the other's hair, inhaling that beautiful scent of his partner's shampoo.

"Mh, smells so good Levi.."
"Uh? My scalp, or the food?"
Eren chuckled, Levi's stomach filled with butterflies.
"Both.."

He took his time leaving light kisses on the back of Levi's neck, inhaling his scent.

"Did you clean the drain to the shower..?"
"Yes, mom."

That made Levi snort more than he would've liked.
But that joke of his husband also reminded him of...

"Eren, what will Selene call us..?"
Eren, as always, spoke before really thinking: "Uh..? Oh!!"

They'd introduced themselves to the girl with their first name, but...
"How important is it to you, that she calls us Dad, or something like that?"

"I guess, it'd be important to her too..?
I mean, I'm really scared that'd scare her in any way, I really don't know what to pick, but..."
"Y-Yeah, I don't want to force her either. But she hasn't really referred to us by our first names yet, right..?"

"No, she hasn't, so I guess there's still room to make our mind up about what we want to be called..?"
"Mh. Nobody at the agency had a definite answers, it's so frustrating."

"Right.."
Eren gently laid his forehead onto the other man's shoulder, and they kept silent for a minute.

"It's just that... she's not a newborn, she probably still remembers her birth parents and all the foster parents; she's past the toddler age too, she isn't that little anymore.
She may feel really uncomfortable if we ask her to call us Dad."
"Alicia from the agency said, she never called anyone 'Dad'."

Levi sighed.
"She can call me Levi, and if I manage to earn her love with time, I'll be more than happy if she calls me Papa."

The raven man was tearing up a bit, Eren noticed, and delivered one of his signature kisses on the eyes.

"Same goes with me. I can be Daddy whenever she wants to call me that."

They'd decided to give a piece of themselves to a child's happiness and future, and they weren't bitching out a week before they welcomed her home, only months away from the famous adoption day in court; more than getting to be called Daddy and Papa, they wanted Selene to feel comfortable trusting them, smiling at and hugging them.

The rest would come with time.

¤¤¤

"Alright, here they are..!"
A volunteer from the children's shelter pointed at the two men approaching, while crutching down at Selene's level and holding her hand.

She was a bit teary-eyed, overwhelmed, but also on her tippy-toes with excitement.

"Hello, Selene..!"
"Selene, hi!"

"Hi.."
She whispered, looking up at those two adults, especially at Eren who seemed so, so tall to her.

"Selene, we're both hopping onto their car and going to their place, so you can start checking out your new home."
The girl nodded, humming.

"Are you happy, dear..?"
Levi and Eren waited, anxiously, for the girl's reply.

She looked at both men, curiously.
"You're gonna have your own bedroom, and playroom..!"
"Y-Yes, and we got a swing and a sandbox in our backyard, so you can go play in there any time you want!"

Now, Selene's eyes really brightened up.
"A r-room for me..?"
She looked at Eren, who nodded and smiled softly.
"Yes, sweetie, of course."

"And... toys in a... y-yard?"
"Sure..! We thought you might've really enjoyed those, so.."

"What do we say, when somebody is kind to us..?"
The three adults held their breaths as the girl stayed silent for a second.

But when she did look up, on her face was the sweetest little smile.
"Thank you!"

¤¤¤

Selene's first day at her new home with her parents went way more smoothly than the two men had imagined.
They were ready to console her, betting she might've cried.

But instead, she revealed her bubbly personality hour after hour.
She wasn't the most comfortable with her dads yet, but she did giggle a couple times.

She had fun playing with chalks on the driveway, she helped how she could making dinner and setting her own plate and cutlery at the table.

Her eyes shined anywhere she looked in that gorgeous home.
She was amazed when she sat in between the two men, watching TV before bed with them.

And after that, she went down pretty quickly.
Eren actually had to tickle her tummy a bit, so they could take her to bed before she fell asleep.

"Hey, hey Selene..! We gotta head upstairs so you can sleep, pumpkin!"
The brunet whispered, and the girl sat right up again.

She climbed the couch herself, and followed Eren up the stairs, while the raven man followed the two of them, absolutely adoring them both.

Quickly after getting into her new bed, snuggling with her bunny she'd named Penny, Selene took merely one story to close her dark, big eyes.

And her parents, as quiet as they could, exited the room.

¤¤¤

Downstairs, the husbands had a drink each celebrating their first ever day as parents.

"Today was great."
Eren hummed, taking a first sip.

"Yeah. Almost... too great."
Levi furrowed.

"What's up, love? Something's bothering you?"
"It's the girl, of course. I'm kind of worried, she hasn't, y'know, behaved as the agency told us she would've."

That was right: she hadn't cried, she hadn't asked too many questions, she'd fallen right asleep in a new bed.
And that wasn't supposed to happen, or, completely not average.

"Oh, yes. Well, maybe she's more extroverted than we thought..?"
Levi took his head in his hands, sighed lightly: "I just hope she's okay. Wait, actually, let me check if she's still sleeping."

As much as he wanted to stop the raven man, Eren said nothing and just waited at the bottom of the stairs.

Selene still slept, Levi confirmed.

"Let's see what happens tomorrow. I was thinking, we can take her to the park, or that new indoor pool..!"
"Right. Let's do it. She might feel awkward tomorrow morning, either of those will cheer her up."

The brunet leaned closer, and kissed Levi on the forehead.
"I love you."
"I love you more."

¤¤¤

"What's... what's tha-"
Eren couldn't finish his own sentence, that he remembered what it was, that he was hearing.

It was his daughter's sobs.

"I kinda knew it.. Let me talk to her."
Levi sprinted out of their bedroom, not even bothering being too quiet as everyone in the household was awake, already.

But gently, he lowered the handle to Selene's bedroom.

Eren had followed, and spoke first, while Levi looked for the tiny switch to the also tiny nightlight, they'd bought for the girl.

"Selene, sweetie, what's wrong?"
Eren could now read the clock, at the weak light of the nightlight: it was a little over two in the morning.

The kid didn't reply.

"Did you have a bad dream, Selene?"
Levi tried.
"Wanna tell us about it, darling?"
Eren added.

Selene laid on her side, facing the wall, trying to cover herself up as much as she could in her covers. She gripped onto her bunny, tight.

"I-I want.. I want Miss Valerie.."
Miss Valerie, from the orphanage?

Both men swallowed hard, as they knew what they had to say in that moment, but they really struggled to actually speak.

"She... she isn't here right now, Selene. Can we help you, instead?"

"Why.. why she sent me away?"
"She didn't send you anywhere dear, she just helped you find your forever family.."

They tried to take a step forward, eventually taking more as they reassured themselves that the girl wasn't scared of them.

Levi crutched down: "Her job is to help you find your forever family, right..?"
"We can visit her sometime soon, if you'd like!"

They sure could, but first, they needed to have her adapt to her new home and routine.

"We're very happy to have you in our family, Selene."
"That's right, we've been waiting for you for so, so long.."

A few seconds of silence followed.
Well, that must've been a little too much, to take in for a little girl.

"Why..?"

Eren sighed lightly: of course, a near four-year-old had a lot of questions that started with 'why'.

"Because we really wanted a little girl or boy to join us, in this big house, and light up our lives."
The brunet stopped: was that maybe too complicated for a kid her age?

But instead, Selene turned around to look at him: "Why me?"

"The people at the children's home, y'know, Percy, Alicia, Valerie... they told us about an adorable little girl that was in need for a forever home, and we said we were more than happy to take her in!"

The brunet got closer to the girl, booping her nose.
"And her name happened to be Selene."

The girl giggled lightly, clinged onto Eren's hand.

"Are you tired..?"
"Dunno.."

"Alicia told us you like to fall asleep to the sound of a hairdryer, is that right..?"
"Ye-Yes..!"

Selene now looked directly at Eren, who sat on the floor and still held her hand.
She sticked her hand out, to touch the man's long brown mane.

"It's soft.."
"Is it, yeah? You like my hair?"
"Yes.."

"Cool, you can take a bath and you can use my same shampoo so your hair will turn even more soft and fluffy!"
Just like that, he was going to pretend he used that kids shampoo they'd bought.

"And after that, you can relax a bit while we dry your hair, how 'bout that?"

Humming in response, Selene slowly dragged herself out of bed, following both men to the bathroom.

Bathing her was a struggle, indeed.
But, eventually, she relaxed in Levi's arms as in the meantime, Eren dressed her up all over again.

She'd loved the head massage, she'd stopped tensing any time her new parents were to touch her.

She played with the raven man's fingers, picking at his prosthesis every now and then.
She was still a bit scared, but also curious.

"What's your name..?"
Selene mumbled, so quietly under the sound of the fan in the bathroom, that the raven man had to ask her to repeat.

"What's your name?"
She asked again, tilting her head back and looking up at the man who was holding her.

"I'm Levi, sweetheart."
"You my dad, Levi?"

Oh, they both froze: never did they expect, to have that conversation so soon.

"Yes, I am. And Eren's your dad, too.
I know it's confusing right now, but we will both do our best to be the best dads for you.
Even if haven't known each other for long, we could start somewhere, right..?"

Some silence followed.
What both men were scared of, was the girl not even being able to comprehend the concept of having two dads: around the children's home were many posters depicting families, but in none of those they'd spotted same-sex couples.

"I... never had a daddy. I'm happy I have two, now."
When anyone would've expected the girl to cry, the adults did.
They both teared up, in genuine relief.