Chapter Text
Karube gulped up lungfuls of air. Desperately clawing at his chest as he heaved to take in oxygen and ease the burn in his throat.
The man sat up, his skin burning with every movement. His legs were weak, and he stumbled while trying to stand. Karube tripped over his own feet, trying to reach a mirror to see if he could recognize what was in the reflection.
The blonde’s knees crashed against the floor, the pain barely registering as blistering was felt on his side. His throat felt constricted as if hands covered in acid squeezed at the flesh. Breathing was hard, but any movement at all was excruciating.
Eventually, Karube made it to his bathroom. His hands pressed into the countertop, using all his strength to stand. His arms shook from the force of trying to lift his own dead weight from the floor, but once he met his own gaze his hands shook rapidly.
His face was clean, his appearance no different than before. The things he saw in his dream tore at him piece by piece. Ripping at his flesh as he conjured each one. Every death, each pain, all stripping him of skin until he could see the ridges of uncovered muscle. They were too heinous to be something made up by his own mind.
Memories. Reminders of the past. Things his brain tortures him with whenever it deems necessary. Reminders to stay awake and aware. Reminders to live his life in fear.
As tears fell down his contorted face, from the sight of his insides pouring out, Karube heard footsteps pounding against the floor.
“Karube? Karube take a deep breath, close your eyes then look again. It isn’t real,” you urged.
The blonde did as you said, squeezing his eyes closed and then opening them once the sounds in his own head weren’t as loud. “It’s not real. Fuck It’s not– it’s not real,” he panted.
Upon opening his eyes, Karube saw himself in the mirror. His form was covered in a long sleeve tee and ratty old sweatpants. His reflection looked fine, but he still felt an ache from his head to his waist. He looked over to the doorway, where you stood with teary eyes and a pitying tilt to your mouth.
Before he could even speak, a tear fell down your cheek, but no sound left your mouth.
“I’m sorry,” you whispered.
“Don’t be sorry. It’s fine. I’m fine.” Karube inched closer with his hands reaching out.
Once he was within reach, you grabbed at the man. Wrapping your arms around his waist as lightly as you could. He had told you all the stories. All the horrors he endured as you sat beside his lifeless form in a hospital bed.
The confusion and agony on his face tore you in two, but the pain would never be anything compared to what he experienced. You felt guilty every time. You tried not to cry and bring attention to yourself but wanted him to know you ached with him and wished you could have taken his pain as your own.
Karube always smiled at the look on your face as you tried so hard not to cry but to still convey empathy. He knew how much you cared, knew it hurt you every time he relived the pain and knew you would always stay.
It was why he had a ring hidden at the bar. And a stack of cash sitting in a lockbox underneath his bed. The dream of Australia was one you both worked hard to make come true. Karube, Arisu, and Chota dreamed big, and you would do all it took to help them get there. They deserved it. Deserved all the good things the world could offer them. You would lasso the moon if they wanted it, but for now, just being there was enough.
“I love you so much. I always want you to be happy. I wish I could do something. Something more than sitting here and watching,” you muttered.
“I promise you, being here is enough. I love you more than anything. Just need you to be happy and safe always.”
“Always,” you nodded.
You pulled Karube out of the bathroom, his hands in yours as you led him to the bed. You laid down first, your hair spread out in a halo around you. Your eyes staring up at him in all his beauty.
“You’re perfect,” you whispered.
“Perfect for you,” Karube replied smugly.
You both laughed as you opened your arms for him to lay in.
“That was awful. But you are perfect. Make me the happiest person alive.”
“Stop. Save it for your vows.”
Karube laid down with you. His head on your shoulder and arms wrapped around your frame. He leaned his face into your neck as the comfort washed over him in waves.
His shoulders grew lax, and his body followed. His breaths evened out as his skin weaved itself together with yours. The intricate dance of each fabric of his soul bonding with yours. This was what it was all for. The desperate fight for survival was all to get back to you. To be able to lay in your arms again. For the ripping of skin to be nothing but paper cuts from the love letters you wrote him and for the pain to be nothing but the ache of missing you when you got out of bed in the morning.
“This made it all worth it,” Karube states. “Do you think there’s something after death? Some great beyond. Something that could be better than this?”
“I’m not sure. I don’t know if anything could be better than lying with you. The location doesn’t matter all that much when it’s the two of us. But if there is something after, then that’s just more time I’d like to spend with you,” you replied.
“Yeah? You’d come and find me?” The blonde hesitated. A silence overtaking the room as he worked up the nerve. “Then marry me.”
“What?” You questioned.
“Shit can’t believe I’m not even on one knee, but marry me. Then we can feel like this forever. I have the ring, I just need you to say yes.”
Karube kissed your neck, sweet pecks upwards until he could kiss all over your face.
“Of course I’ll marry you. And I’ll find you in every lifetime if that’s what you want,” you promised.
Karube looked up at you from where he rested on your shoulder. A smile spread across his face to mirror yours. The hand that was wrapped around him moved as you began to play with your ring finger. No doubt imagining the future you would build together. A future that would now occupy his dreams.