Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Today was an ordinary day in Gensokyo. There were fairies playing by Misty Lake, looking for something to do together while the day went by. Over at the village a pair of girls were chatting about the latest production of the most recent issue of their favorite mystery novel. Up in the heavens, the elder sister sits on her chair, ignoring everything the messenger complains about, including how she always ignores her advice.

Over at the Bamboo Forest of the Lost, there lies Eientei. A Japanese Mansion that is the home to the Earth Youkai Rabbits, A pair of Lunarians, and one Moon Rabbit. That Moon Rabbit’s name is Reisen Udongein Inaba.

Reisen was enjoying the peaceful tranquility that was her bedroom, sleeping soundly even though the sun rose long ago. She dreamt about swimming in a pile of carrots and mochi, having the time of her life. It was a splendid dream, only to be gone in an instant when she felt something crawling up her leg. Her ears stood straight, her eyes opened wide and she let out a hissy scream through her teeth. She checked under the covers of her blanket, wondering what it was.

She thought it was a spider, but what was more surprising is it was actually Tewi, the leader of the Earth Rabbits, who had crawled under the covers of her futon.

“Ah, good morning Reisen~” Tewi said.

“T-Tewi!? What are you doing under my covers!?” Reisen shouted loudly. “Is this some kind of prank!? Were you trying to do something to me while I was asleep!?” She asked, remembering the time Tewi covered her bed with itching powder one time, it took her 3 hours to free herself from the itchy torment.

“What are you talking about silly? I wouldn’t do that to you. I just came to greet you.” Tewi said in a happy tone.

“You’re lying…I know you’re lying.” Reisen said, taking a moment to think. “Seriously, what did you do this time?”

“Hmph! I’m serious Reisen! I came to see you because of how much I love you!” Tewi said, embracing Reisen and wrapping her arms around.

Reisen was taken aback by this sudden action, a part of her still believing that Tewi was up to something, the other surprised when Tewi said “I love you”.

“Eh!? W-what are you talking about!? What do you mean when you say that!?” Reisen asked.

“Why else do you think I’m always pulling pranks on you? It’s because I wanted you to notice me and the hints I’ve given out. Wasn’t it obvious when I made you fall into that heart-shaped pitfall a week ago?”

“No of course not!” Reisen said. “Who the hell would expect a sign from that anyways!?”

“Then I guess I’ll just have to show you right here and now how much I care for you. Chuuuu~” Tewi puckered her lips, inching closer and closer to Reisen’s. But before anything could happen, Reisen pushed Tewi’s face away, springing out of her bedroom in her pajamas and out the door.

“Something’s going on. Tewi would never act like that around me! I bet Master or Princess knows what’s going on!” Reisen thought while running. She made her way down the hall, until bumping into Kaguya unexpectedly.

“Ow!” Kaguya shouted as she fell to the ground. “Oof, my head.”

“S-sorry Princess! Are you alright!?” Reisen reached a hand down for Kaguya to take. Kaguya reached for the hand, grabbing it, but instead of Reisen pulling Kaguya up, Kaguya pulled Reisen down into a embrace.

“Ahh… Inaba~” Kaguya said with a blushing face of love. “You have taken care of me all this time. To my needs, my wants, my desires… But all this time I never had the chance to tell you how much I love you. Please Inaba, won’t you be mine forever?” She said in a bit of a proposal.

Reisen felt more confused by this point, trying to get back up on her feet, but Kaguya kept her on top of her, wrapped in her arms. “P-Princess! You too!? You and Tewi are both acting weird!”

“What’s so weird about loving you Inaba? Surely there’s nothing wrong with a princess as beautiful as I see you to be the most suitable for marriage. Now how about we seal the oath with a kiss? Chuuuuuu~”

Reisen was pulled closer and closer to Kaguya’s lips, struggling to pull back as much as she could with little success. But then a shout could be heard from behind.

“Hey! What do you think you are doing!?” Tewi shouted. Reisen and Kaguya looked back at Tewi. Reisen felt thankful for Tewi’s arrival for once.

“Tewi! Help me! Princess is acting strange!” Reisen shouted.

“Of course she is! She’s trying to steal a kiss from you when it belongs to me!” Tewi said. “Now let go of her!”

“Finders Keepers! Hurry Inaba, let's kiss before that pink nobody steals you from me!” Kaguya shouted.

“Not if I have anything to say about it!” Tewi pulled out a mallet from hammer space. She leapt into the air, slamming the mallet down to the ground just as Kaguya rolled to the side with Reisen. The momentum was enough to let Reisen be free from the Princess’s strong arms.

“Yes! Now come over here, Reisen!” Tewi said.

“No! Over here Inaba!” Kaguya said.

“I-I don’t want either of you to come near me!” Reisen shouted, sprinting down the hallway again. She continued to run, but it wasn’t long until the two pursuers caught up with Reisen and jumped on her.

By the time Reisen got to Eirin’s office, the rabbit and the eternal princess were hugging her arms and shoulders, kissing her on the hair and neck. Reisen opened the door, looking sluggish while in her sleepwear.

“Ara? What are you doing here Udonge?” Eirin asked, turning her chair around to greet Reisen. “And why are you still in your pajamas?”

“Master! Tewi and Princess are acting strange! They said they love me and are trying to kiss me for some reason! You gotta help me!” Reisen said.

“Oh, well that’s quite simple actually.” Eirin said, walking over while holding a container in her hands. She shook out two pills, taking one and offering the other to Reisen. “Here, take one of these pills and it should do the trick.”

“W-what medicine is this, Master?” Reisen asked.

“One that will forever unite the souls of the two lovers who ingest them. I made it a couple hours ago while thinking of us together as husband and wife.” Eirin said, ingesting one of the pills. “Quick, take the other one. Or would you rather I take it and feed it to you using my own mouth?”

“WHAT!? Are you crazy Master!?” Reisen shouted, backing away.

“No! Don’t listen to that quack doctor! You only need me, Reisen!” Tewi said.

“No! Me!” Kaguya shouted.

“Quiet you two. It's obvious Udonge and I are the most compatible.”

“Heck no! We’re the most compatible!” Tewi and Kaguya said at the same time.

“No! We’re the most compatible!!!” A voice from behind shouted. A hole emerged from Eirin’s office, burning away as Mokou was revealed to be the culprit.

“Mokou!? What are you doing here!?” Reisen asked.

“I’m here to declare my love for you Reisen! I don’t care if I happen to be immortal, I want to spend the rest of my life with you! Please take my hand in marriage!”

“You don’t get to decide Mokou! Reisen obviously loves me more than you!” Kaguya shouted, clinging onto Reisen more. Reisen meanwhile felt like her lungs were being squeezed and tightened.

“Huh? You’re obviously not suited to be with her! You’re too selfish and spoiled, Reisen would suffer having you for a wife!”

“What’d you say!?” Kaguya jumped on Mokou, resulting in the two beating each other to the death right there in Eirin’s office. Tewi took the opportunity to cling onto Reisen like a monkey, refusing to let go.

“I’ll be with you forever, Reisen! Where you go I’ll be with you on your back!” Tewi declared.

“No! Get off of me! I need to get out of here!” Reisen cried. She grabbed Tewi by the hands, flinging her onto Eirin before she could try anything on Reisen and bolted out of the room. She dashed down the hall until exiting Eientei, making her way outside. When the coast was clear she took a minute to think everything over.

“What the hell is wrong with everyone? Why are they acting like members of Marisa’s harem? I mean, it’s nice of them to think of me that way but they’re completely obsessed with me at this point.” Reisen thought.

“Reisen-Chan? Are you okay?” A familiar voice asked.

Reisen looked up, staring at her best friend Youmu Konpaku, equipped with her two swords and her phantom half by her side.

“Why are you wearing your pajamas in the middle of the day? And outside for that matter?”

“Youmu!!! You gotta help me!” Reisen grabbed Youmu’s shoulders and started to shake her. “Everyone is acting nuts in there! I only woke up but so far Tewi’s been clingy, Kaguya wants to marry me, Eirin tried to drug me and Mokou burnt a hole in the office, and they all claim to love me!”

“Woah! Reisen-Chan! Calm down!” Youmu said, managing to get Reisen to stop. “Breathe, just breathe. In and out, slowly.” She said.

“O-Okay… In… and out.” Reisen took a deep breath in, letting it out after a few seconds.

“Good, now, listen to the sound of my voice. You’re going to be okay.”

“Mmhmm.” Reisen nodded to what Youmu said.

“I’m certain this will all blow over after a day or two. For now, you can stay at my place.”

“Mmhmm.”

“And once we get there, we can sign our signatures on the marriage registration paper together.”

“Mmh- Wait what?” Reisen looked at Youmu. Before she realized it, her hands were cuffed together with Youmu’s.

“And we can be together forever, and ever, and ever… Not even death will do us part Reisen-Chan~” Youmu said in a more loving yet scary tone. Reisen looked at her with fright, trying to pull away but the cuffs were strapped on tight to her wrist.

“N-No… NO!!! Not you too!!! Why is everyone acting so crazy!?”

“Hey! What are you doing to our Reisen!?”

Reisen and Youmu look to their sides. They see Seiran and Ringo there, holding a bloody mallet and a bag of dangos respectively.

“Seiran, Ringo!” Reisen said, trying to run to them.

“Wait Reisen-Chan! You can’t go yet! We still need to figure out who inherits the other's surname!” Youmu said, pulling back on the cuffs.

“You gotta help me! Everyone is acting weird!”

“We know! That’s why we came here to declare our love to you together!” Seiran said.

“We both agreed that we would be willing to share you together, think of it like polygamy!” Ringo said.

“Nope!!! Changed my mind!” Reisen said, turning the other way round while Youmu continued to pull on her with little success. But as she did, she saw more familiar faces. She saw Yorihime and Toyohime fighting with each other, pushing the other back while slowly approaching Reisen.

“Reisen! Let us go back to the moon together and get married! I swear to you that I’ll be the most supportive wife you can ever imagine, and will ensure you become a terrific general for the army!” Yorihime declared.

“No! Marry me instead! I’ll be able to pamper you and love you just like the past! I’ll even let you treat me however you please, no matter how humiliating!” Toyohime said.

“No! We should get married!!!” Rei’sen said from behind the Watatsuki Sisters. “I may not be talented compared to Lady Yorihime or Lady Toyohime, but I’ll do my best to be a diligent wife you can rely on!”

“Nope nope nope!!!” Reisen turned another direction again, this time facing the likes of Clownpiece, Sagume, Junko and Hecatia.

“Reisen! Let's get married! Our abilities to manipulate madness go perfect together!” Clownpiece said.

“We should get married. I’m definitely certain we can bond even without verbal communication.” Sagume wrote.

“I LOVE YOU REISEN I LOVE YOU REISEN I LOVE YOU REISEN I LOVE YOU REISEN I LOVE YOU REISEN I LOVE YOU REISEN I LOVE YOU REISEN!!!!!!!” Junko shouted repeatedly over and over again.

“Um… What she said.” Hecatia pointed at Junko.

Everywhere she looked, Reisen only saw people who were in love with her, wanted to get married, or were acting similar to how a yandere would. The Eientei Residents soon arrived, and both Earth and Moon Rabbits showed up, holding signs saying how much they love Reisen. Everyone else was chanting their love, and Youmu clung onto Reisen for dear life. Reisen looked around, seeing no escape from this predicament.

“Why is everyone so obsessed with me!!! Just leave me alone!!!” She cried loudly.

—

“Udonge? Udonge?” A voice spoke to Reisen. The Moon Rabbit slowly opened her eyes, resting on a table with her arms crossed. She raised her head, a feeling of drowsiness lingered for a moment as she yawned. She looked around, realizing she was inside Eirin’s office, having fallen asleep in a chair.

“Ah, you’re awake, Udonge. You were asleep for longer than predicted.” Eirin said, holding a clipboard and a pen.

“Oh… Master? I just had the strangest dream.” Reisen spoke. “I was surrounded by nearly everyone I know, and they were all obsessed with me for some reason, even you and Princess.”

“Ah, then that must mean the medicine is a success.” Eirin said.

“A success?” Reisen asked.

“Don’t you remember? I asked you to test the new Butterfly Dream Pill ‘Harem’ Variant. I’m surprised you didn’t remember taking it but you remember the dream itself. I guess I’ll have to go through a couple more tests before I can start selling it.”

“Oh…” Reisen thought. Her mind also thought about the dream she had. While it was nice to have all that attention, the fact everyone was obsessed with her to the point of extremity was what made it worse than anything. Even then, it wasn’t so bad now that she thinks about it.

“By the way, why did you make this medicine again? I thought the original one sold well.” Reisen asked.

“Well, apparently I got a request from someone who wanted me to make the medicine so they can experience dreams of having their own harem full of the person of her dreams. Needless to say I do question their behavior more than anything, but I’m certain they wouldn’t use it for any wrong-doing.” Eirin explained.

“Huh… I wonder who would ask for such a thing?” Reisen thought.

It later turned out to be Alice, who wanted to experience dreams full of Marisas.

Chapter Text

Note: This is not meant to be a traditional short story with a neat conclusion or full context. This is an excerpt from a larger piece where I’m toying with various ideas and settings. So think of this as a single chapter within a larger story, rather than a fully complete piece.

— Excerpt reconstructed from transmissions originating from World 7 —

—x—x—x—x—x—
Date : Winter, Year 208 A.I.
Time : 22:57
Location : Takayama Stadium, Hikari-shi, Capital Province
—x—x—x—x—x—

“Now Playing : Agepoyo TONIGHT!”

The cheap loudspeakers chimed with three melodic tones before cutting to a live feed of the concert, complete with the noisy crackle of the cheering masses as Reisen belts the lyrics to the energetic song. We descended the slow-moving escalator into the main concourse of the arena, revealing an unimaginably lively scene. An unending sea of rabbit people dressed in groupie getups swarmed the concourse floor. Colorful banners advertising tonight’s concert were hung up on the upper floors as hooligans tossed rolls of paper streamers from the upper balconies into the masses. Flocks of balloons hovered around the space, with the occasional stray balloon becoming trapped against the large skylight which let in the light from a full moon. Large LED screens built into the walls scrolled between images of Reisen doing cute poses and advertising various products.

We descended into the suffocating mass of people, our vision blocked by a forest of glowsticks, boomwhackers, selfie sticks, and rabbit ears flopping and bouncing with the motion of the crowd. We were pressed so tightly together I could only catch a few glimpses of the ground floor between shoulders and ears.

“Y’know, I once dreamed of going to an idol concert, but I didn’t think I’d be here to take down the main attraction.”

“Would you pipe down, Marce?” I hissed. “We’re trying to be stealthy here!”

“We are being stealthy!” Marisa insisted, pointing to the floppy fake rabbit ears she had stapled to her cap. “I’d say we blend in perfectly, ze!”

“Yeah. And what good are your ears gonna do if some bouncer catches wind there’s some hooligans out for the Star of Inaba Province?” I argued, adjusting the itchy bunny ear headband Marisa bought for me.

“Chill out, Rei, we’re gonna be fine. All these whackos out here are too busy listening to their celebrity overlord to pay attention to us anyway,” Marisa said assuringly, gesturing at the crowd of fans caught up in the concert. A line of rabbits queued up in front of a concession stand selling dango on a stick. Two male rabbits caught in a fist-fight toss each other into a large fountain. A horde of groupies in matching branded t-shirts crowd around a projector showing a live feed of the performance outside.

“Complementary water?” a bunny girl with light blue hair dressed in show blacks approached us. In her hands she presented a small plastic bottle of water with a pink label and branding. She smiled invitingly.

“Sure thing, fellow rabbit person!” Marisa said over-enthusiastically with a thumbs-up. She snatched the bottle out of the girl’s hands before the rabbit scampered off to accost some other patron.

“Stealthy, huh?” I scoffed. Marisa was out here goofing off in the middle of what was practically a hit job. Examining the bottle, the pink packaging advertised some special vitamin water, infused with electrolytes and nutrients (according to the dubious marketing), and endorsed by none other than pop sensation Reisen the Rabbit of Inaba Province. Marisa uncapped the bottle and quickly took a swig.

“Seriously? You’re really buying into this corporate snake oil?” I muttered in disbelief.

“Hey, it was free. What was I gonna do, not take it? Besides, even if it's all marketing lies it's still water at least, ze.”

I sighed in exasperation at her unbelievable recklessness and lack of principles. “Whatever. Come on, we should catch Reisen before the show ends and see where she goes.”

We slowly pushed our way through the throngs, elbowing stomachs and stepping on toes as we made our way over to the exit that led to the field, which was guarded by a tall and burly bouncer in a tight black shirt which showed all of his muscles in their full glory. He was easily a foot taller than either of us. He glowered down at us, motioning for us to present an entry pass. Marisa and I exchanged a quick glance before hoisting up the backstage pass lanyards she discreetly nabbed off of the girl handing out water. The bouncer quickly examined the passes before nodding wordlessly and opening the door, pushing us right into the crowd outside.

The roar was deafening now that there were no walls or ceilings to absorb the loudness of the sound. The crowd surged with energy, clapping along and jumping up and down to the poppy electronic music blasting from the massive speakers in the center of the field. Smack dab in the middle was a large metal stage rising prominently out of the throbbing masses, where the Star of Inaba Province stood: Reisen the Rabbit in her full glory, dressed in her signature white dress shirt, red tie, and pink skirt, but accompanied by a glittering pink fleece parka worn loosely on her shoulders and black leggings. She danced across the length of the stage, pumping her fist and hyping up the crowd as she belts out the final chorus of the song into a small microphone in her hand.

“Come on, we’ve gotta get closer!” I shouted.

“WHAT?” Marisa yelled.

“GET CLOSER!!” I screamed over the booming music. I could barely stand the ear-splitting concert, and have no idea how these rabbit people were able to handle it with their massive ears. We painstakingly inched closer and closer to the center stage as the song ended, the crowd breaking into thunderous applause as Reisen took a polite bow.

“Before we end tonight’s show,” Reisen declared in a sickly-sweet voice, sending the audience into silence, “I have a few important announcements to make.”

We continued to slowly close the distance between ourselves and the stage.

“Inaba Province has long suffered from the great pain of neglect. For generations, the government has ignored our plight as we were left to struggle alone. It hurts me to no end to see my beautiful home province fall into poverty and despair. Which is why I am donating all of the proceeds from tonight's concert towards charitable groups to fight homelessness, inequality, and discrimination against the people of Inaba Province!”

The crowd erupted into emphatic cheers and applause at her declaration. I can’t blame them; it’s a really compelling sentiment.

“And as dictator, I promise to bring prosperity and greatness to all the provinces, so that nobody should suffer like the people of Inaba! Today marks a new beginning! Today marks real change!”

Once again, the crowd thunderously cheered in agreement. Reisen extended her arms towards the heavens as if receiving a blessing from the gods themselves.

“Wait, did she just say dictator?” I asked.

“Yeah, no shit. Akyuu was right to say this girl’s got a lot of ambition…” Marisa replied incredulously.

“And finally,” Reisen continued, “I’d like us all to give a warm Inaba welcome to two very special guests here!”

“Huh?” I felt a tugging sensation at my hair and patted my head. The bunny ear headband was gone. I frantically turned back to Marisa only to see a hand extend from the crowd and knock off Marisa’s baseball cap along with her fake rabbit ears. The stage lights dimmed, and a massive spotlight flickered to life, illuminating us both and forcing us to shield our eyes from the blinding light.

“Shitshitshitshitshit-” Marisa remarked.

“Yup, this is bad,” I concurred.

We defensively positioned ourselves back-to-back as the rowdy crowd formed a circle around us.

“You think I wouldn’t notice you two scamps running around my show? What are two humans like you doing so far from home?”

“Shit, what do we do?” Marisa loudly whispered. “We can’t take her out with thousands of her rabid fans surrounding us.” I racked my brain for a few seconds, trying to think of something to say. Wait… I got it! I took a deep breath, straightened my back, squared up my shoulders and turned to face Reisen standing proudly atop the stage, both hands on her hips.

Reisen Undongein Inaba, also known as Reisen the Rabbit,” I shouted authoritatively. “We are detectives associated with the State Department. You are under arrest on the charges of conspiracy to commit murder and conspiracy against the state.”

Marisa nodded in encouragement, adding, “Don’t make this harder than it needs to be.”

“Police?!” Reisen cried. Turning towards the crowd, she shouted, “Looks like the government has sent their goons to silence me- to silence us!”

The rowdy stadium roared in agreement, jeering and booing at us caught in the middle of it all.

“While these accusations are completely untrue,” Reisen spoke in a commanding voice, “I will comply with police orders. Because even though I started this movement, it does not belong to a single person; it belongs to all of us. Together, we can change this city for the better. We will make sure our voices are heard!”

The incensed crowd howled with determined resolve as Reisen leapt off the stage and landed on the grassy turf below, the crowd parting around her.

“And as my parting gift, I will let you all listen to one last song of mine!” Reisen whipped out a handheld MP3 player from her jacket pocket and spun the wheel. A monotone robotic voice announced over the intercom, “Now Playing : Big Bunny Explosion (Nhato mix).” Marisa and I roughly took her up by the arms and began escorting her out of the stadium as the punchy electronic music began fading in. The audience observed silently in quiet murmurs, swaying to the new music.

“Man, this cult of personality thing is really starting to weird me out,” Marisa muttered in a worried tone.

“Say,” Reisen interrupted unconcerned, “the police must not be sending their best today…”

“Huh?”

“You two don’t exactly look like the police type…” she wonders aloud, referring to our casual jackets and clothing. “In fact, I’d say you two aren’t police at all…” She turned her head to face me, smiled, and winked, her red eyes twinkling in the moonlight as the music began to rise. The bright white lights of the stadium suddenly flickered out for a moment before being replaced with a haunting red, and all hell broke loose.

—

*THWACK*

“YEEOOWW!!” Marisa howled in pain as she lost her footing and stumbled forward. I turned back to see a male rabbit wielding a short length of rebar in both hands.

*TSSHHH*

I yelped in pain as I felt a glass bottle being broken over my scalp.

“GET OUT! NOW!” I cried, flicking open my retractable baton. The crowd surged forward in a manic uproar as the music swelled. We broke into a full sprint towards the exit, dodging punches and swings as Reisen giggled with giddy delight. Marisa fired ahead with her paintball gun, dispersing the rabid fans ahead of us as I swatted away the attackers on our sides with my baton. We rushed for the exit doors to the main concourse as the crowd closed in. 50 feet… 30 feet… 20 feet… 10 feet…

We burst through the metal doors into the main gathering area, stumbling forward with momentum. Reisen slipped from our grip as we tumbled to the floor. She scampered and bounced up to the top of a large overturned speaker as Marisa frantically snatched a nearby mop and shoved the handle in between the pull bars, blocking the crowd outside from entering. The metal doors swung forward and groaned as the incensed concert-goers slammed into them. The main hall was now eerily deserted, with only multicolored ticker tape and used cans and cups populating the floor. The electro music Reisen put on echoed throughout the empty event space from speakers mounted to the walls.

Marisa and I assumed defensive positions, her aiming the paintball gun at Reisen as I spun my baton with a flourish. “Alright you stupid rabbit, hand it over and nobody gets hurt,” I ordered.

“Hand what over~?” she replied in a childish tone, feigning innocence while lounging casually atop the tall speaker.

“The Object of Creation you have, ze,” Marisa answered. “End this. Now. And we’ll be on our way.”

“Tsshh, this thing?” Reisen scoffed, hoisting up her small MP3 player by the wired earbuds. “I’ve come so far already. What makes you think I would give up when we’re on the brink of salvation?”

The crowd outside shouted and pounded on the barred metal double doors, accentuating her statement.

She leapt to her feet, arms extending forward holding her hands in the shape of two finger guns aimed at each of us. She winked with a sickly-sweet smile, her red eye glinting in the moonlight shining in from the massive glass skylights above.

“Pow!” she exclaimed, motioning with her hands as if mock shooting us. I was about to tell her to quit this stupid parley until Marisa suddenly jerked her head backward and collapsed onto the floor, convulsing violently and frothing at the mouth.

“Marce!” I cried, rushing over to her side. Her eyes were wide with panic and her pupils shrunk to the size of a pinpoint as she helplessly choked on her own bile.

“Ah. So only one of you was gracious enough to take my water, eh? Frankly, I’m offended,” Reisen remarked with mock disgust.

I turned back in bewilderment to see her grinning with sadistic fascination as she pretended to blow the smoke off her finger guns and kicked an empty pink plastic bottle off the stereo. The water. She poisoned the water. She fucking poisoned the complementary water.

*CRRRRK*

I whipped back around to see the doors fold inward, the mop handle bending and cracking under the force of the riotous crowd outside.

“A shame it doesn’t work on humans like it does on the other animals,” Reisen commented. “You two could’ve been useful in this revolution.”

Marisa hacked and coughed. “R- Rei…” she gurgled weakly. “G- Go… leave…”

The doors creaked and groaned once more as the crowd slammed into them, straining the mop barricade to its breaking point. Without hesitation, I grabbed Marisa by the waist and lifted her dead weight up onto my shoulders, my heart pumping with adrenaline and determination. “Like hell I’d leave an idiot like you behind.”

I dashed for the escalators as the mop holding back the horde finally snapped and the dam burst. The unhinged mob and the booming music poured into the concourse, roaring in a unified mass as they chucked empty bottles and swung broken planks of wood and uprooted metal posts. The Star of Inaba Province stood triumphantly atop the speaker like a rock amidst the whirling currents of a river as her supporters descended upon the capital.

— End of excerpt —

Chapter Text

It was a peaceful day in Eientei. Well, as peaceful as it could get, considering just who the residents were. But considering that Kaguya hadn’t antagonized Mokou into another fight to the death (yet), it was actually much more peaceful than usual “peaceful” days. Adding even more to the peace was that Tewi wasn’t playing pranks on Reisen. However, she was instead tormenting the purple-haired rabbit in other ways.

“Come on, pick up the slack!” said the shorter rabbit. “It’s always worse at the start, but it gets better over time!” Tewi lifted up a baby youkai rabbit, holding it to her chest as she gently rocked it to sleep. “You can do this, Reisen!”

Retching in disgust as she bent over another baby youkai rabbit, Reisen gagged, “Easy for you to say, you’re not the one changing diapers!” She bundled up another loaded diaper, putting it aside and putting a new one on the baby. “Why are there so many, anyways?”

Chuckling as she moved on to another baby, Tewi responded, “Well, you know what they say about us rabbits. We’re very social animals, after all.”

Pausing in the middle of another diaper change, Reisen stopped to glare at Tewi. “Back on the moon, ALL the rabbits were single children, and any rabbit who violated the ‘one child’ rule was executed, with the sole exception of twins or triplets, in which case the babies would be taken away to be raised with special training.”

Raising an eyebrow, Tewi asked, “Your point?”

Taking a deep breath of fresh air, Reisen continued, “You, on the other hand, have had five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred children in the span of your whole life. And out of the five hundred rabbit youkai in Gensokyo, including the seventy-five children and babies we’re taking care of right now, half of them are your kids while the rest are your descendants. How the absolute hell do you do that?”

“Well,” Tewi drawled, waggling her eyebrows playfully, “I was quite the popular gal back then. There were so many boys lining up to beg me to give them a chance. Lines for days.” Smiling mischievously, she teased, “How could I ever say no to them?”

Reisen turned green and snapped, “I don’t need to know your love life! Honestly, people like you are why the Lunarians hate the Earth!” Changing yet another diaper, she added, “Besides, why are we doing this? Can’t their parents do it?”

Shaking her head as she served carrot stew to a group of young rabbits, Tewi answered, “You really don’t know how things work with Earth rabbits, do you? In case you haven’t noticed, look over there.” She pointed off to the side.

Turning to look, Reisen was surprised to see young rabbits helping her look after the babies and children. “What the…” she gasped. Glaring at Tewi, she interrogated, “If they’re already taking care of the kids, then why are we here?”

Sighing, Tewi put down the spoon she was holding, causing the baby rabbit she was feeding to whine in protest. “I told you, didn’t I?” she said. “We rabbits are very social. We’re never alone, and we look out for each other.” She returned to feeding carrot stew to the baby rabbit. “Besides, what kind of parent would I be if I didn’t help take care of my grandkids and descendants?”

Sulking, Reisen finally finished changing diapers, and turned to help Tewi feed the babies. “That doesn’t explain why I have to help though.” She yelped when Tewi whacked her on the head with a paper fan.

Tewi scolded, “Honestly, why do you have to be such an upstart? Out of all the adult rabbits, you are easily one of the youngest ones, but you act like you’re above us all. We may all acknowledge Eirin as our superior, but that is where the difference is. Eirin is your master, but she is the Earth rabbits’ employer. We listen to her, but that does not mean we defer to you. We only occasionally listen to you out of respect for Eirin.”

Reisen stared in disbelief. She had never seen Tewi act like this. Most of the time, she was an incorrigible prankster, causing mischief and headaches wherever she went. But now, she was acting mature for once, not accepting any nonsense.

Pulling Reisen up to her feet and dusting her off, Tewi sighed and lamented, “Look, Reisen. One does not simply demand the respect and obedience of the Earth rabbits. You want them to listen to you out of respect for you and not Eirin? Earn their faith and show them that you deserve their respect. Throwing your weight around won’t do anything.”

Watching the older rabbit return to feeding the baby rabbits, Reisen was silent for a few seconds, before shaking her head and returning to diaper duty. Thankfully, she was at the last few diapers, and the next diaper duty was assigned to Tewi. “We’re running out of diapers,” she said, counting what was left in the box. “After this, we’ll have to go to Kourindou again and see if the shopkeeper found more diaper packages from his weekly scavenger trips to Muenzuka.”

From another part of the field, another rabbit called out, “I’ll tell Ninjin to add it to the shopping list before she goes out to buy tea, groceries, and supplies!”

Tewi responded, “God job, Yasai! I’ll let your parents know you’re doing a good job today.”

A couple hours later, taking care of the baby and child rabbits was finally over. Sighing in relief, Reisen carried a garbage bag filled with the used diapers. “If I ever have to change a diaper again in my life, it’ll be too soon,” she groaned.

Slapping her on the back, Tewi laughed and chortled, “You’ll be fine! I hated changing diapers too, but after my first five kids, I got used to it!” Carrying used bowls and spoons, she headed to the kitchen. “By the way, take the bag to Eirin. She’ll be using it as fertilizer and for her studies.”

Stumbling, Reisen’s neck nearly got whiplash. “She uses it for what?!”

Blinking in surprise, another rabbit asked, “You didn’t know even though you’ve been here for years? Lady Eirin uses the babies’ poop as fertilizer for the herbs and plants we grow, but she also studies what else it can be used for.”

Reisen tried not to vomit, realizing that the food she ate had been grown using poop. “That’s disgusting!” she shouted. “Why would she do that?”

Returning from the kitchen, Tewi answered, “Reisen, manure has been used as fertilizer for thousands of years. The practice is actually even older than me. Eirin uses rabbit poop because it’s the most easily available. Did you stay under a rock even after running away from the moon?”

Gulping, the purple-haired rabbit shook her head. “No… I just… I need to go lie down for a while.” Dropping off the bag outside Eirin’s office, she stumbled away, mind reeling from the unwanted information. Finally reaching her room, she collapsed into bed, wanting to forget about what happened for the day.

A few minutes of silence passed, before the door creaked open. A young rabbit peeked in. She softly asked, “Miss Reisen, can I ask you something?”

Without turning, Reisen groaned, “You’re supposed to be sleeping. Go back to bed.”

The rabbit pouted and whined, “But I can’t sleep. Can I sleep in your room?”

Too exhausted to argue, Reisen sighed and shifted in her bed. “Fine, get in.” She felt the rabbit join her in bed, snuggling up next to her side. Taking a deep breath, Reisen once again attempted to get some rest when she felt another presence join in bed. And then another. And another. Yet another. And even more getting in her bed. In a matter of moments, she could hear the bed creaking from carrying so much weight, and felt several small bodies crawling all over her.

Opening her eyes in irritation, Reisen tried to get up to see what was going on. However, she felt herself stop when she realized what had happened. Her entire bed was covered with young rabbits. Some of them were in their human form, while others took on their rabbit forms. But most importantly, they were falling asleep.

Laying back down, Reisen glanced at the first rabbit and groaned, “I thought it would just be you, not a bunch of you.” The rabbits simply snuggled deeply into her side, essentially making it impossible for her to move them or escape. However, the fluffiness soon got to her, and she drifted off into peaceful sleep.

Reisen woke up when she felt someone shaking her shoulders. “What is it?” she groaned, getting up as she rubbed her eyes. She looked up blearily, blinking as she saw Tewi hovering over her.

“About time you woke up,” said Tewi. “Come on, it’s time for the feast. By the way, the parents want to thank you for helping their kids go to sleep.”

Her mind still addled by sleepiness, Reisen trudged through the halls of Eientei, heading towards the dining room. Before long, she entered, and much to her surprise, the rabbits turned to her and cheered.

“Thanks for getting the kids to sleep!” called out Yasai. “We’ve never seen them fall asleep that fast!”

Another rabbit went up to Reisen. “You were on diaper duty today, right?” she asked. “I’m so sorry that my baby makes such terrible messes, but you did an amazing job with putting on the new diaper!”

Reisen was stunned by the praise, blushing in embarrassment throughout dinner. Finally, as everyone went outside to enjoy the night, Reisen slowly felt proud of herself, having finally gained respect for her actions. Filled with happiness now that the rabbits finally showed respect to her, she blurted out, “Why don’t we pound some mochi and dedicate it to a highly respected Lunarian instead of Daikoku?”

All the rabbits suddenly stopped, turning to give the rogue Moon rabbit looks of disgust.

“...What? Did I say something wrong?”

Chapter Text

Reisen was beginning her day, receiving the medicine from her master at Eientei, as usual, to distribute them in the Human village.
She enjoys her (mostly) peaceful life she has in Gensokyo, by just selling medicine and make some mochi with the rest of the rabbits sometimes. May be boring at times, but this is way preferable than live in constant vigilance due to her past. Follow the same roads to the Human Village it’s something she can now do it even with her own eyes closed.
Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, there is one thing that keeps Reisen still fully awake in her travels to the Human Village, it annoys her even on Eientei, but also makes her feel that some days are different to others, which makes her life in Gensokyo a bit more interesting, but not exactly pretty enjoyable: I am talking about Tewi, a rabbit girl who lived at the Bamboo Forest way before the rest of Eientei. Maybe with her age, she might act as a sage, but that’s too far of how actually she acts. Tewi sometimes puts traps during Reisen’s travels, just to prank her. She can be nice at times at Eientei, but if she’s not being a nice rabbit girl, she’s making traps to Reisen fall on them. Of course, none of them were dangerous, or made her lose medicine from her master, but it was a bit annoying to this point.
Reisen has a level of patience, just like everyone. And just like everyone, there will be something that will break her patience. And that patience might break today.
Reisen was doing her regular travel through the Bamboo Forest, just like always. She couldn’t sleep well last night, which it’s weird, but today hasn’t the mood to fall on another of Tewi’s trap. She was hoping that today there won’t be any traps at all, she was hoping that Tewi saw her bad mood today and decided to not prank her, at least for today. She was hoping Tewi might be actually a comprehensive person. Maybe Tewi wasn’t a comprehensive person, or maybe Tewi didn’t knew the fact Reisen has a bad mood today, but to bad luck of hers, something was waiting for her in the middle of the road.
Reisen was thinking about the previous stuff, until her next footstep. First, she felt a comfy “bed” of bamboo leaves. Next, there was nothing beneath her. And finally, she fell inside a pit, once again. And just maybe, the last time.
Weird enough, Tewi didn’t appear above, laughing at Reisen, but that doesn’t matter, this is it. While Reisen was rubbing her head due to the fall, she began to ruminate in her thoughts: “Tewi! This is your fault, I had enough, you’re going to pay for this, and all the traps you made me fall onto them”.
Luckily, the pit wasn’t too deep, so she could climb it pretty easily. She still has to go to the Human Village, and so she did. She couldn’t sell all the medicine this time, due to her bad mood and the revenge she will take on Tewi being the only thing on her mind as well.
On her way back to Eientei, Reisen started thinking how she could take revenge on Tewi, she was a master at making traps and pranks, making one for her would be pretty challenging.
Reisen took a different path, and went to where the kappa were. Reisen asked the kappa if they could make a “super strong rope”, as well as “super strong scissors” to cut off the exact same rope. Thankfully, they would do it for free, since they wanted to see how strong a rope could be made. They advised Reisen to wait for a couple of days, she agreed.
Reisen, on her way back to Eientei, began to think on different traps she could do for Tewi, she asked to the kappa for that “super strong rope” only as a last final trap if the rest of the traps fail. Reisen thought on different traps, like another pit, just like Tewi did before on that morning, or maybe a trap cage, using a box with a carrot inside. Pretty basic, but Reisen didn’t want to hurt Tewi either, she just wanted to prank back on her.
She finally arrived at Eientei, with her master waiting in the entrance, waiting for the profit Reisen made in the village. Reisen was ruminating in her mind on how to take revenge on Tewi for so long, she forgot about that matter. Of course, she didn’t lose the money nor the medicine that didn’t sell, but to tell to her master, right on her face, about how she couldn’t sell all of the medicine, was kind of terrifying. But lie to her master wouldn’t work, so she decided to just tell the truth:
“Master, I-I’m sorry, I couldn’t sell all the medicine you gave me…”
Reisen was expecting the worst, until Eirin spoke:
“It’s ok, I saw you in the morning with your bad mood, I noticed you couldn’t sleep well last night, so I was afraid this could happen”
“Huh?. . .”
“Yeah, not always we can have good days. So, just give me the money, I’ll give you one week off”
Reisen couldn’t believe it, and only because she didn’t want to miss this opportunity, she gave the money right away. Eirin went inside Eientei with the medicine and the money.
Reisen has a whole week to make a plan against Tewi, and finally “give her a taste of her own medicine”. And so she did.
Reisen has been busy planning on making different traps for Tewi, but curious enough, she didn’t see Tewi on that whole week. But she was more focused on her plans than the previous matter.
She started making the easiest traps she could think of: she dug a deep pit, only to cover with bamboo leaves. She borrowed a crate from Eientei, and using a little rope and a stick, she made a trap cage, on which she would leave a carrot… later.
In the middle of her week vacation, she came back to the kappa to get both “Super Strong Rope” and “Super Strong Scissors”, the kappa were pretty proud of their inventions, they mentioned something like “those scissors are the only thing that can cut through the rope”. Fair enough.
She set the last trap with the “Super Strong Rope” on the road she always takes to the Human Village, as some sort of “last option”, although it was a simple trap, just like the rest, her mind couldn’t think of more complicated traps, maybe if she was Tewi, she could think of something better.
The time passed, her vacations just ended, and she had to make her journey to the Human Village, back again.
This time, she could sleep well, she also ate her breakfast, and this could be her best day so far.
She was preparing herself when Tewi jumped out of nowhere, lively and happily, as always:
“Hey, Tewi! Hi there!”
Reisen has to hide her true intentions behind her smiley face.
“Hi Reisen! Are you going to take your regular journey to the Human Village?”
“Yeah!”
“May I accompany you this time? Someone put traps along the way”
“Isn’t actually your traps? Since you’re the only one I know who does that”
“I didn’t put these traps I’m going to show you, follow me!”
Reisen followed Tewi through the path she always take, they both arrived at the first trap Reisen made: the pit covered with bamboo leaves.
“Look! They even dug a pit, just like I sometimes do”
“… I think you’re still lying to me”
“I mean, I sometimes do this, but not this time, and that’s what it surprises me, who knows the actual intentions of the person who made this”
They keep going through the same path, this time, they found the second trap:
“I don’t know what they were thinking while doing this trap”
Tewi grabbed easily the carrot that was under the crate.
Reisen was getting a bit nervous, as her previous traps didn’t work at all.
“Hmmm… As far as I know, those were all the traps I found”
She was saying that while eating the new carrot she acquired:
“I don’t know who made this traps, but… maybe I should stop pranking on you--”
One of Tewi's feet became entangled in a rope on the ground. That rope take her up, dropping the half eaten carrot, and trapping her in a net mid-air of a super strong rope.
“Huh!? I just fell on one of his traps”
Yes! Finally, Tewi fell on her last trap. Tewi tried to gnaw the rope, without success. Reisen could finally reveal her true intentions.
“Tewi, you just fell on my trap!”
“Huh!?”
“Yeah, I made all of these traps, and only this one worked!”
“But why? Why you did it?”
“Tewi, I’m tired, I’m tired of your pranks and traps, almost every day I had to fell on one of your traps.
One week ago, I decided it was enough, and so, I did all these traps”
“But Reisen, I… I didn’t want to prank you one week ago”
“What do you mean?”
“You see, I saw that you didn’t have a good mood a week ago, so I decided to not prank you that day… but sadly, I prepare my traps in the night before, so you fell on one of my traps… by accident”
“Wait, you didn’t mean to?”
“Of course not, you’re very terrifying when someone makes you mad while you have a bad mood, and you just proved it again, haha…”
Reisen didn’t want all her effort be worthless, so she made a deal with Tewi: if she can’t really control herself, at least lower the quantity of traps, as well remove any traps while she has bad mood days.
And since then, Tewi kept her word.
At least for two weeks.