Work Text:
“Here you go, Mr. Schmidt!” the overly cheerful 20 something office assistant gave Ted a huge smile as she handed over the Pittsburgh Chamber of Commerce meeting nametag along with an odd-shaped manila envelope. “And if you’ll just put your phone in the envelope, we’ll be sure to get it back to you after the meeting.”
Brian had been watching with mild amusement as Ted was fawned over by the young woman. He tried to hold back a smirk as he mumbled under his breath to Ted. “I wonder whose brainchild that one was.”
The office assistant didn’t blink an eye. “The no phone meeting was Mr. Kinney’s idea”
Now it was Ted’s turn to try and hold back a smirk. “Do tell.”
“Oh yes, our chamber president Mr. Sessions gives Mr. Kinney full credit for the wonderful idea! He said he heard Mr. Kinney talking about how much more productive meetings would be if people didn’t have their fu- uh, their noses buried in text messages and social media. Mr. Sessions decided to try out no phones in office meetings – now our meetings are about half the time – mostly because we don’t have to keep repeating what the last person said – and people are much better about paying attention. It really works! Well, thank you Mr. Schmidt.” She smiled as she took his envelope, then smiled up at Brian. “Good morning! Name please?”
Brian stuck his tongue in his cheek, then cleared his throat. “Brian Kinney.” Somewhere behind him he heard a muffled snicker.
“Oh Mr. Kinney, it is so nice to meet you! I’m Amberleigh – but you can call me A-lei! Welcome to the board! We are so happy to have you on board.”
Brian suffered through the pleasantries of registration and begrudgingly handed over his phone. As he was walking away, A-lei called after him, “We’ll keep it safe for you.” Then she was on to the next registrant. “Good morning! Name please?”
“They’re so cute at that age.” Ted spoke softly, needling Brian as they left the registration area.
“Whose idea was it anyway for me to serve on this board?”
“That would be Cynthia.” Ted wasn’t about to tell Brian he’d been the one to plant the seed in Cynthia’s brain. “You said you wanted the Pittsburgh Chamber of Commerce to be more diverse – something other than business motels, real estate agents and banks vice presidents.”
“Fine! But why can’t you serve? Surely, I have better things to do.”
“Somehow, I don’t seem to have the presence and sway you do. Look at how they made the whole meeting phone free on your mere suggestion.”
Brian grimaced. “Let’s get through this. I wonder if I can delegate my seat? Emmett would be perfect for this type of thing. If I stick around, they may end up voting me into the president’s position.”
Meanwhile, back at the registration table…
“Good morning! Name please?” Amberleigh motioned the next person in line forward.
“… me? Oh, Taylor, Justin Taylor.”
“Hello, Mr. Taylor. Here’s your name badge, the meeting agenda, and some information about the Chamber. It looks like you are a new Chamber member. Is your business new to Pittsburgh, or are you just new to the Chamber?”
“uh, I have a new business in Pittsburgh and I’m a new Chamber member. I was thinking it would be a good way to meet other businesspeople.”
“Oh yes! It’s a great way to network with other business owners and make connections. Okay, it looks like you are all set, if you’d slip your phone into this envelope, and I’ll be sure to get it back to you after the meeting.”
Justin bit his lip, unsure if he really wanted to give the phone over to this stranger. But everyone else seemed to be adhering with the meeting protocol, so he’d just have to bite the bullet. He handed the phone in the envelope back to the Amberleigh.
Amberleigh smiled as she placed the phone in what appeared to be alphabetical order in a bin of envelopes.
Surely, it would be fine.
~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~
In the meeting room, there was the usual continental breakfast offerings of bagels, pastries, fruit and coffee. People milled about clustering into small groups to chit chat.
Ted seemed to have connected with what looked to be some type of bank or financial person and drifted away leaving Brian on his own. Always a keen observer, he quickly sorted through the clusters noting the groupings of realtors, hospitality people, and finance people. Overwhelmingly, there didn’t appear to be any cross pollination between the groups.
Brian gave a subtle shake of his head. This may be more of a task than he imagined.
“I know.” A soft voice next appeared to agree with Brian’s estimation. “So much for diversity. What’s worse, my mom’s one of them.” He gave a slight inclination to a blonde woman in a classic Channel suit holding court near the coffee airpots.
Brian arched an eyebrow as he sized up the blond standing next to him. “At least she has some sense of style. Have you ever seen so many ill-fitting black suits - and that’s just the women. Don’t get me started on the men. Not one is fuckworthy…”
Justin gave a warm chuckle.
Brian looked down at his companion. “Present company excluded, of course.”
“Of course,” Justin gave Brian a studied appraisal. He held out his hand. “Justin Taylor.”
“Brian Kinney. Isn’t a bit early in the day for Dolce and Gabbana?”
“You think so?”
“Yeah, this is more of a Tom Ford type event.”
“And yet, here you are in Prada at 8:15am.”
“Ah! You see, this is where you underestimate me. I don’t give a fuck if I’m overdressed.”
“Me either.”
~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~
“Stop it!” Ted hissed at Brian.
“huh?”
“You’re supposed to be paying attention – you’re on the board! You’re supposed to be helping lead this discussion, not cruising the attendees. You keep giving the I’m going to fuck you eye to that blond.”
“Now Ted, there’s time for me to do both. I excel at multi-tasking.”
~+~+~+~+~+~+~
“Don’t look now, but that jackass Brad from Mellon Bank is back.” Britney spoke softly to Amberleigh. The two had been staffing the registration table while the chamber event was being held in the adjacent meeting room.
Sure enough, the guy was back, his AXE body spray arriving in a cloud about twenty feet in front of him. Amberleigh estimated Brad to be in his late twenties, maybe early thirties. He had capped teeth giving him a very fake perfect smile. His hair had he sheen of a wet look from too much gel. His style ran to what was supposed to be a custom suit, but she knew it to be off the rack – and not well fitted. People may write her off as an airhead millennial, but she was working at the chamber to make connections and gain a better business background. She had her own small fashion design business – she knew fabric and designers. Most of the guys she met at the Chamber were nothing to write home about. Not like that cute Mr. Taylor with his D&G suit, or the breathtaking Mr. Kinney in Prada.
Brad leaned on the table; the tablecloth shifted under Brad’s weight, causing Britney and Amberleigh to grab for the registration boxes and materials.
“Brad! Mr. Merrill! Please be careful! The tablecloth is coming loose.”
But even as she said it, Amberleigh knew it was too late. Brad jerked in reaction, stepping away from the table, but on the overhang of the tablecloth. The table wobbled back and forth on its legs, before one end folded. The tablecloth and everything on the table slid to the floor in a trainwreck, including the bin of phones in envelopes.
Oblivious to the entire thing being his fault Brad made a token effort to help the women, dumping anything and everything into the bin for the phones.
“Thank you!” Amberleigh’s managed to keep her fury in check. “We’ll take it from here.” Brad had the good sense to remove himself. Britney and Amberleigh righted the table and set about shifting everything from the floor to the tabletop.
Even though some envelopes were open, most phones remained in their envelopes. Except two.
“What do we do about these?” Britney held up the two empty envelopes. Amberleigh batted the tablecloth until she could find the missing phones.
“Well, at least we have the phones.” Amberleigh held them up. They looked exactly the same. Both phones were Space Black, iPhone 14 Pros, in Black Otterbox Defender cases. Before Amberleigh could do anything, Britney grabbed them and shoved them into envelopes and into the bin.
The doors to the meeting room were opening and people were spilling back out into the foyer. The women quickly tried to tidy the table and area before the onslaught of attendees seeking to reclaim their phones. By the time the phones were reclaimed, Britney and Amberleigh had moved on to cleaning things up and thoughts of the phone mix up was not even a memory.
~+~+~+~+~+~+~
As Ted navigated the route back to Kinnetik, Brian was growing increasingly frustrated with his phone.
“The fucking thing won’t unlock.”
“Are you sure you’re putting in the right code?”
Brian gave Ted a look of death.
“Right. Why don’t you let me call it – maybe once you are on a call you can get into it?”
Ted called the phone, but it phone in the car didn’t ring. “Something’s not right.”
“Fuck it, take me over to the Shady Side Apple Store – I don’t have time to waste on this. I’ll just get a new phone, this one’s insured.”
Ted navigated to the Apple Store. “I’ll just wait here,” Ted stated as Brian jumped from the car almost before the car had come to a stop.
~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~
“Aren’t you Mr. Popularity?!” Daphne teased as Justin returned from the Men’s room. They’d arranged to meet for lunch at Condado’s Tacos close to where Justin was opening his gallery.
“huh?”
“You, your phone has blown up. Who’s Mikey? Where’d you meet him?”
“What? I don’t know any Mikey.”
“Really? There’s like 10 missed texts and at least three voicemails.”
The phone started ringing. Justin put it on silence and sent the call to voicemail. He looked down at the screen, then scrolled through the calls and messages. “I don’t think this is my phone.”
“Of course, it’s your phone – it’s not like you gave your phone to a stranger in exchange for this one.”
It suddenly dawned on Justin. “That’s exactly what happened.”
“Huh??” Daphne wrinkled her nose. “Hey, whose Dead Ted?”
~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~
“What the fuck do you mean there isn’t anything wrong with my phone?”
The Apple Genius tried to keep his customer calm. Though very quiet and very calm, the Apple Genius understood men like Mr. Kinney. He wouldn’t raise his voice to draw attention, but this deadly calm and quiet voice was almost worse.
“Mr. Kinney, is it possible your phone was accidentally picked up by someone else? Has it been in your possession all day?”
Brian closed his eyes and tried to stay focused. Getting angry wouldn’t help. He opened his eyes. “I was at a meeting this morning where they collected all the phones. It appears mine got switched with someone else’s. Can I just buy a new one and activate it while I work on getting my phone back?”
“Uh, it doesn’t actually work that way. Why don’t we try calling your phone from this phone?”
“I’ve tried, but the phone won’t unlock.”
“We can take the SIM card from this phone and move it to another phone to make the call. That way the person who has your phone will see a call from themself.”
“You can do that?”
“We can try.”
~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~
“Hey! Look at your phone! You’re calling yourself!” Daphne stated the obvious.
Justin picked up the call. “uh, Hello?”
“Yes!” the relief in the voice at the other end was obvious. “You have my phone!”
“I do? Um, I mean, I guess I do.”
“Who is this?”
“Who is this?”
“I’m Brian Kinney, I think my phone got swapped with yours at the Chamber of Commerce event this morning.”
“Oh, hey! It’s Justin Taylor – you know D&G, not Tom Ford? Yeah, I guess I have your phone.”
“Where are you? I’m at the Apple Store in Shadyside.”
“Oh, you’re not too far. I’m at Condado’s Tacos on Liberty. I’m just sitting down to lunch. I can drop your phone off after I finish.”
“No, don’t bother. I’m not that far, I’ll come to you. You’re around the corner from my office.”
~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~
“Condado’s Tacos on Liberty.”
“Huh? Are we going to lunch?”
“Drive Ted.” Ted headed out into traffic.
Ted looked longingly at the restaurant as Brian hopped out of the car. “You know, I could come in and we could get a bite to eat after you get your phone.”
Brian rolled his eyes. “Do what you want – I’m sure they do take out. I just want to get my phone and get into the office. I’ve wasted enough time today.”
“Take out…” Ted mulled over the idea before parking. That would work.
~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~
Brian spotted Justin with a young woman with café au lait skin and a half-tamed crown of fuzzy curls. They were eating and drinking.
“A little early in the day to be drinking, isn’t it?”
Justin turned and Brian nearly stepped back. WOW! That was a full watt smile.
“Oh hi!” Justin motioned Brian to sit down. “This is a celebratory lunch. Daphne and I haven’t seen each other in person since before the Pandemic. And now that I’m back in Pittsburgh, we’re having a toast to our friendship.”
“Hi.” Daphne gave Brian a shy smile.
Ever gallant, Brian plucked up Daphne’s hand and kissed her knuckles. “Ah, it is nice to meet you, Daphne. I won’t interrupt your lunch. I believe this is your phone.” He handed the phone to Justin. “Now if I could have my phone?”
“Sure. You’ll want to call your husband. He seems to be quite frantic. He must have left four voicemails and there’s been at least five texts since we sat down.”
Brian grunted and rolled his eyes. “Mikey! I’m not married. Mikey hasn’t mastered the art of subtlety or phone etiquette.”
Justin mouthed “wow” to Daphne. Aloud, he said, “well, he sure thinks something is important. You should probably call him back.”
Brian shook his head. “I have a steadfast rule when it comes to Mikey. No more than one call or text a day – and never close to his last call.” As if by provenance, the phone began to buzz. Justin had turned off the ringer after the second call and fourth text message.
“Yeah, well good luck with that one.”
~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~
Later that evening…
“Brian! Where have you been all day? I’ve been trying to reach you.”
“I’m here now. What is so important?”
That stopped Michael in his tracks. There wasn’t anything really important. All the emails today had been about meeting for breakfast or lunch at the diner. There wasn’t anything he needed to talk about with Brian. “Uh…”
“Well, if there isn’t anything important. I’ve had a long day, and I think I’ll call it a night. Goodnight Mikey, give my love to the professor…” Brian hung up.
Scrolling through his phone, he deleted Michael’s messages and the texts that said nothing more than “where are you?” “call me” “text me”. Brian shook his head good naturedly. He really did love Michael as a brother, but the guy had to find another form of entertainment. Maybe he could convince Ben Michael needed to take a break from his phone periodically – like every day for at least four hours.
Scrolling through the phone, Brian noticed a call from Justin Taylor. Of course, it wasn’t Justin Taylor, it was his call from the Apple Store. Brian stopped and added Justin to his Contacts. Then checking the time – it was still early, not yet eleven o’clock, he dialed the number.
“Hello? Hello?” Justin sat up in bed, phone in hand.
“Did I thank you for taking such good care of my phone?” Justin recognized the smokey, sexy voice, and leaned back on his bed pillows.
“Now that you mention it, I’m not sure you did.”
“Whatever could I do to make it up to you?”