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Gazing up at the illusory concave dome above his head, Kai noticed the strange, tranquil beauty of it, of the fact that a moon this bright and full, and constellations aplenty would be visible each and every night he was here. He had to hand it to whoever had created this elaborate and confounding expanse of inevitable torture, that they had hit the nail on the head regarding the je ne sais quoi of this part of nature.
Suddenly, his head, which was crooked up to the false sky, pivoted instinctively towards a large moving object right in front of his gaze. He saw a figure lurching slowly, green eyes somehow glowing in the pitch-black, and despite the lack of any air conditioning that would heighten the immersivity of this midnight hour, Kai felt a freezing chill strike him rapidly.
As the figure encroached he remained petrified, but he could start to make out wispy blonde strands of hair in front of his face and slumped yet structured soldiers on either side of it. “Oh fuck… It’s you!” Kai warbled, his tone and volume fluctuating immensely “H-hey, I’m just minding my own business I can go back to my room!”.
The boy who he now recognised clearly as Damon scoffed sardonically at Kai’s panic. “Honestly Kai. Don’t be a fool. Do you truly believe your life could be in danger right now on any level??”. Kai raised an eyebrow “Um… well yeah kind of. You’re one of the only one of us who’s made a point of even starting to treat this sick game with respect!!”
Damon nodded. “True, and due solely to my own common sense it seems many of you feel antagonised, ridiculously. But because of that if any of you idiots actually did the deed I imagine you’d all go as far as stretching the laws of physics to assume I was the culprit. So if I’m immediately the obvious choice, why would I make life exponentially more difficult by actually killing someone?”
Kai paused after hearing this. Only Damon would try and reassure the lack of danger surrounding him by using Facts and Logic™ instead of making any show of having moral qualms with murder, yet somehow it did work as a comfort for Kai, as anyone could make up words and feelings to try and buy someone’s trust, but he couldn’t deny any part of Damon’s stoic answer.
“Well, uh, yeah, you’re right! But why even explain that to me now, you know? You don’t know that I wouldn’t kill someone!!” Damon yawned but based on the lack of any marks of weariness on his face it was clearly a mockery of Kai. “Sure. I don’t know whether you would kill someone. But what I would hope is that based on any semblance of common sense you would see why killing me specifically would be imbecilic?”
Kai cocked his head, like a puppy confused upon hearing a clear mention of a walk yet not receiving one, “Umm well, not really? If anything, people would probably have the least problem killing someone as rude as you!!”
Damon chuckled after hearing that, clearly not insulted by the statement, and maybe on some level wearing it as a badge of pride. “But I literally just explained. I would be the perfect scapegoat for a crime! If someone would be wanting to commit murder I’d almost hope they’d see the golden opportunity of pinning it on me! It’s so obvious that any half-bright prospective murderer would keep me alive for the very purpose, though I must apologise for making the assumption that you were at least half-bright”.
Kai pouted, “Hey! No need to be a dick about it man! But uh… thanks for explaining I guess, it makes me feel better to know that there’s someone who’s too hated to actually be a killer”. “Yeah, well that wasn’t the point”, Damon said, crossing his arms “I made sure you understood so that you wouldn’t freak out and do anything stupid. But now that you’ve calmed down, I can say what I wanted to say from the start. Fuck off please”.
Kai dramatically stuck the palm of his hand against his chest and dropped his jaw to feign immense offence taken, “Wooow! Such a meanie! You don’t own the rights to going outside at night you know!? And why are you even out here?”
For the first time, Damon seemed to falter, and maybe even… blush? “None of your business! It makes more sense for me to be out by myself at night than you anyway, I wouldn’t be shocked if someone sees you as an easy victim!”.
Thinking about that made Kai feel slightly uncomfortable. Still, at the end of the day it was true, he had more reason to be wary around those who were warm and bubbly than prickly and antagonistic people like Damon, but he would never admit that. They all wanted to believe in good, as Wolfgang had told them to, but maybe it would be appropriate to take a leaf out of Damon’s book and practice some pragmatism.
“Huh…I mean I suppose you’re right. But I usually like to go on night-time walks when I’m stressed, it helps me feel peaceful! But now I’m wondering why you wouldn’t just tell me why you’re out here Damon? Were you maybe… embarrassed?”
Damon stared daggers at Kai, “Fucking hell you’re persistent. Well, if I catch you telling literally anyone else this maybe I will become a killer, but if it’ll convince you to leave then I suppose I must. I went to steel my mind after an intense nightmare”.
A wide grin spread across Kai’s face as Damon clasped his own forehead in a deeply shamed manner. “HAHAHAHAHA”, Kai chortled “Scary, cold, edgy Mr. Debater had a wittle nightmare!! Aaaawww! Aren’t you just a precious little thing?”. Damon feebly kicked Kai’s shin as he flushed a shade of red he sincerely hoped the darkness would obscure.
“But anyway!”, Kai continued “Y’know, I think I can find it in my heart to do you a solid! To really help a pal out! I’ll stay with you tonight Damon! God knows when I was a small tiny little baby child who still had nightmares having someone with me always made it feel better”
Kai could practically hear both Damon and the snake on his tie hiss in unison. “Firstly: you are NEVER calling me “pal” again Kai. And secondly: I’m in my right mind to leave you here alone in the middle of the night after saying that fucking shit.”
Kai plastered his face with a shit-eating grin. “But Damooooon”, he said in a whiny voice “What it… what if something bad happened to me!?” leaning towards him with puppy dog eyes and hands clasped together as if he was begging, before he completely dropped all of it and started smirking confidently “if that happened don’t you think everyone would, I dunno “stretch the laws of physics to assume you were the culprit”? If I were you that seems like an awful hassle that I’d LOVE to avoid”.
Damon stared at Kai’s smug face with a look of utter contempt in contrast to the very foreign feeling that fleeted while Kai was putting on his needy act, that Damon would rather not recall even slightly (even if he may have enjoyed it deep down), and furrowed his brow in a way that was supposed to be threatening but truly only served to endear himself to Kai. “You-You’re a little fucking conniving bitch you know that? Put on an innocent face all you want, but I see you now!”.
Now it was Kai’s turn to do the mocking yawn. “Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get it, you’re butthurt, but the point is, we’re gonna spend the night together now and there’s nothing you can do about it!” He cried triumphantly. Damon started to stammer out of frustration “But- But you! You can’t do this you can’t-”. Damon dropped his jaw in indignation as midway through his sentence, Kai, as if he had completely tuned out of what Damon had to say, had plonked himself down on the moist astroturf beneath them.
“Aw shit man, I really didn’t mean to take away from your moment or anything, genuinely, it’s sweet you care so much about being an angry little guy, but my legs are kiiiilling me” Kai said in a manner which seemed legibly sincere, he raised a hand up to Damon as he asked, “Sit with me?”. Damon wanted to feel furious in this moment, wanted to storm off huffing and puffing, but for some reason, he just couldn’t find that within himself. (It one million per cent had nothing to do with the fact that no-one, NOBODY had ever referred to the Damon Maitsu as sweet once in his life). So, not for a millisecond dropping the scowl from his face, he accepted Kai’s outreached hand, and, somewhat unceremoniously, hobbled down so he was sitting next to the boy. Kai turned his cheek to the left, catching a close glimpse of Damon’s ruby blush, now at an angle in which the simulated Orion star pattern illuminated them magically, but quickly turned his face away, sure that having his gaze linger too long would cause a snarky response, yet Kai made a point to not let that strangely peaceful picture exit his brain any time soon.
Several minutes passed, with both men still sitting rigidly with their backs at ninety-degree angles yet not one had uttered a word. It made Kai start to frown, it’s not really that he didn’t want to, he just wasn’t sure where to start with someone like this, but he ended up deciding the best plan of motion would just be to try and gauge where the boy next to him was at.
“So, uh. I guess you aren’t really in the mood for talking huh?” Kai prompted, trying to come off as non-threatening as possible. Damon shrugged, “Well Kai, if you had just let me be, then by now I’d be back in my room, about to go to sleep, I’d have no reason to talk then, so I’m just trying to act as if that’s where I am”. Kai raised an eyebrow quizically, “Well, if it’s sleep you want, then why are you upright like this, you’re not even lying down”.
Damon placed his forehead between his thumb and index finger once again, this time seemingly out of genuine exhaustion rather than any cynicism, and groaned dejectedly. “Well… I’m thinking if you must know.” “‘Bout what?” Kai snapped back, perhaps slightly too quickly. Damon turned his face to the right and blinked his jade eyes slowly, before gulping and letting himself start word-vomiting. “Truthfully? About you Kai.”
Upon hearing this, Kai’s eyes peeled open instantly in bewilderment. “God, I normally don’t bother with the whole “trying to understand people” bullshit, a good debater shouldn’t get distracted by trying to delve into foolish factors like emotionality, but I just cannot wrap my head around you at all! I tell everyone, that excluding a few, which you are certainly not a part of I’m afraid, that they shouldn’t think of themselves as morally pure superhumans that the world needs, that their niche obsessions don’t mean shit, and they all start to despise me! Of course they would, because they can’t handle the truth, and yet you… you’re somehow vying to spend time with me, with someone who you know thinks that you have nothing to offer the world! Why would you even bother!?”
Damon expected to feel ecstatic, triumphant, after finally voicing what was frustrating him so much, but the feeling was somehow quite rotten, strangely putrid. He looked over at Kai imagining he would at this point be bursting into tears, lips quivering weaky, yet instead, he saw him with his head cocked and mouth pursed as if he were thinking, contemplating calmly instead of breaking down into an instinctive emotional fit as he had already done several times.
After a brief pause which felt oddly prolonged to Damon, Kai met his gaze closely and responded “Well I mean… I guess it’s kinda complicated now that I really think about it haha. But like, even from that point of you doing your little rant I guess it all felt a little… put on?” Damon creased his brow in confusion while biting the nail of his index finger. “I dunno, maybe it’s cuz I’m so used to having to put a bit of a persona on for my fans an’ shit, but it just seemed a bit extra, the whole edgy vibe of it all. But also, and maybe this is silly, I guess I just really do want you to like me at the end of the day. Like I know it’s dumb to expect everyone to gel with me, call it spoiled, call it whatever you want, but I just think there’s more to you than the grumpy little guy you pretend to be, so I wanna try to win you over!”
Damon exhaled out of his nose softly, he felt almost… exposed? Granted, he did think everything he said to the group was completely correct, but deep down even he knew that part of him was trying to get under everyone’s skin, truly the choice to be an asshole about it was a conscious one, but he couldn’t really say that. “Well… many have tried Kai. I can’t truly recollect any of them succeeding, but if they ever have they clearly never left a lasting impact”, he replied quietly. “But anyway, you seem to be ignoring how clearly I’ve insulted you since we’ve been here, you put on enough of a show of being mortally wounded by my comments that I’m surprised you’re able to brush them aside so easily now.”
“Well, yeah, but to be honest at the end of the day it’s not THAT deep to be honest man! I know you think being an influencer is worthless and well, you’re definitely not the only one, but I know my worth, I know I make people happy, and I know that I’d be able to love myself without my talent! And that’s the most important thing at the end of the day y’know!? But I worry maybe you aren’t fully able to do that, and I wanna help you understand that there’s more to you than your talent, you’ll never just be that!”
For the first time since, well, passing out in the train, Damon was at a loss for words. He stared at the sky, so black that it was shining, and tried to express how this all made him feel but, truly he couldn’t say he was quite sure what that feeling was. This all felt far too removed from logic, from rationality, and yet he could not get Kai’s words out of his head.
Fiddling with his own strands of blonde hair wistfully, Damon once again turned towards Kai, noting the peaceful and serene expression that was visible from his half-lidded eyes to his slightly open mouth. It had been helpful throughout this encounter with Kai to express his thoughts with speeches, explaining his rationale in layman’s terms to sate the boy next to him, yet this time he wasn’t sure how to really elaborate on what he was feeling. “Right… I, I think I understand what you’re getting at.” He paused, making sure Kai was still engaged in what he was saying by locking pupils with him. “Thank you, Kai.”
Kai beamed with a weary exuberance at Damon. “No problem man! Hehe, this is the first time you said something to me without your trademark rude undertone.” Damon rolled his eyes, though it seemed vaguely affectionate, “Don’t get too proud of yourself, or it’ll come back.”
Kai chuckled tiredly. “Damon?” he asked. Damon smirked and replied calmly, “Mhm?” Kai yawned exaggeratedly, stretching arms out above the torsos of both him and Damon. “ ‘m sleepy now, you’ll stay here right? That’s the big brained sigma thing to do right?” Damon nodded reluctantly. “Yeah. You can sleep. I won’t leave.”
Kai blushed and closed his eyes, looking shockingly comfortable reclined upon the fake grass, ending up snoring in about 5 minutes.
Still upright, Damon observed the slumbered figure beside him, finding himself strangely compelled by the way the strawberry curls were strewn haphazardly against his face and the floor beneath him. Looking upon his closed eyelids Damon ended up picturing involuntarily, the hazel-gold eyes that were locked behind them, the thoughtless joy or wimpy sadness visible in them clear as anything whenever Kai spoke. But what Damon found himself peculiarly transfixed by was the still-present smile belonging to Kai, he couldn’t remember the last thing to elicit that kind of physical reaction from him that wasn’t related to his talent.
Feeling unexplainably relaxed, Damon reclined so that he was parallel to Kai, feeling ready to doze off just like the other had. But a rather conspicuous rustling scraping his ears was preventing him from fully letting himself rest. He turned over to realise Kai was already tossing and turning, with his nose now buried in the greenery beneath him. Damon thought it must be uncomfortable, and that in the morning it will come back to bite him, but he had no intention to disturb him.
Several minutes later Damon noticed another unconscious movement from his sleeping neighbour, not due to any sound produced, instead the unavoidable physical force it generated, as Kai had at some point swung one of the arms laid awkwardly to his side to cling onto whatever object was nearest to it, similar to a child unknowingly clutching a teddy in their sleep, in this case being Damon himself. His breath haltered for a second, as the feeling of touch, let alone such an intense and semi-permanent one, was still massively foreign to Damon, and he felt a rush of heat creep up to his cheeks.
This should be massively uncomfortable, but all Damon could feel was a strange sense of warmth and safety. This wasn’t right! He wasn’t supposed to even entertain someone doing something like this to him and it made him feel like a fool! He had to put a stop to this.
“...Kai?” He meant to say defiantly but instead came out as a tentative whisper. Damon groaned, why couldn’t he just shove him over and remind him of the sanctity of his personal space? Instead of asserting control over the situation he attempted to get the attention of the boy in meagre and meek ways, coughing feebly, which couldn’t even stir a creature with immaculate hearing. Damon lay, inexplicably choosing not to disturb Kai for several minutes, until he realised he was about to whether he liked it or not. An irritating itch tickled Damons sinuses until a riotous sneeze erupted from his nose, with enough volume to wake up hibernating hedgehogs.
Finally! Kai was somewhat stirring, mumbling incoherently and tossing around once more, Damon hoped that this would be his lucky break to achieve a reasonable amount of distance. Yet, when he rotated to spot the previously prisoning arm the most terrifying thing he could have possibly anticipated began to happen. Kai, for a second time, extended his scooper-like arms and encapsulated the poor quivering boy beside him, instead this time his grip of death instead managed to tug Damon even closer to him, until their very hips were conjoined. Damon shuddered, wondering if this was some sick joke and Kai was still awake, yet, truth be told, if he were he would’ve probably been exceedingly likely to cackle and Damon’s animalistic sneeze, so it seemed that being in this position was just an incredibly unlucky happening, rather than evil conniving.
But was “unlucky” really the right word? It seemed to be helping Kai to get a good night sleep, and, against his mind’s own insistence, Damon knew that his only real umbrage with the close contact was the worry that he could in any way… enjoy it? It felt sickening to even think, yet somewhat tempting as if the warmth surrounding him was a sweet old lady singing a lullaby, luring him into complacency. Each inch he moved any of his body parts, the sensation of the touch changed slightly, and it somehow never became old, the feeling had a million sickly sweet appeals which made Damon feel in his core as if all was right in the world.
With each second that passed it seemed that one less percentile of Damon’s mind was making an effort to resist the comfort of Kai’s involuntary clinging. It was purely because he was tired, that’s why his resolve was fading, was all that Damon could say to try and reassure himself, yet after an extended period of putting on an act of disgruntlement which no one was able to see, he finally allowed himself to close his eyes and accept that this was, somehow, conducive to him being able to rest. As he started to drift off, feeling Kai’s strands of hair now messily brushing against his own cheek, he was strangely being told by some part of his subconscious that he would rather be here than in his very own bed. ‘Definitely not unpacking that one in the morning’ was the final thing Damon thought before he started to softly snore.
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As Kai peeled his eyes open slowly, he was once again drawn to the projection right above him, now noticing the nuance achieved that perfectly reflected that routinely familiar time of day in between the romantic and lustrous sunrise and the warm and bright daytime, wherein the clouds were a mystical grey not a protruding white, and the sun let something other than itself take centre stage, that being the calm, pastel blue of the sky, which Kai always thought to be perfect for waking up to face the day, that it didn't feel too majestic, or too energetic, it was just present, it had to be, everyone had to be, and that didn't need to be imposing unless you let it be.
But all that went out the fucking window when he became lucid of the fact that his WHOLE ARM was wrapped around the boy laid next to him. All the questions started running through Kai's head: Who, What, When, Where, How, Why? (The answers to most of those questions were actually obvious, this was just the most engaging way that Kai could talk to himself, and he employed it often). Nothing about this was REMOTELY normal. Involuntarily cuddling a man you met about 12 hours prior, who would be very disgruntled to say the least, according to what Kai assumed based on his personality, that they had even brushed hair follicles at any point, in a completely insane place in even more insane circumstances??!! Kai couldn't begin to understand literally any of it, and greatest of all he couldn't understand why he had absolutely no desire whatsoever to remove his grip on Damon.
This was stupid, perhaps the stupidest way he could respond to this situation! Each second longer that he was in contact with the boy beside him the harder it would be to hide that anything was amiss with the way they had woken up. Yet, the warmth of the body next to him felt strangely like the thing that Kai needed the very most right now, as he felt Damon's soft chest contract and relax with each breath he felt... accompanied? For once since he got on that train he didn't feel like he was going insane over the terrifying situation he was in, or what everyone thought of him, and how trustworthy everyone was, everything in this moment, right now, was so so simple, and deep down, he wouldn't have it any other way. Simple
Well, that was until it wasn't!
As Kai naively accepted he would address the situation in due time he noticed in the very corner of his vision, some minute detail about the picture in front of his face had altered. His eyes darted around until he saw the source of this anomaly.
Damon's eyes were both now open.
Shit.
Fuck.
Balls.
"Damon!!" Kai practically squealed, awkwardly untangling his arm from him hastily. "I'm so sorry that you ended up like this! I really didn't mean for that to happen I swear! I only just woke up and noticed and I promised I was gonna fix it all anyway and-" Kai's rambling was cut off by tired but clear voice "Kai." Damon interjected, having no desire to make the other boy aware of the fact that Damon let this happen to him knowingly, but not feeling amazing about sending him into spirals of panic over the matter. "It's. Look, it's not ideal but... whatever. I'll move on, just never speak of this again, and calm down. 'K?" Damon assured him in an uncharacteristically kind tone.
Kai's eyes bulged in shock as he flushed a bright pink. "Really!? I just thought you'd hate the idea that you were close to me for so long and-". Damon's familiar glare returned, as he made sure Kai wouldn't go anywhere near revealing his true feelings on the night. "Hey. Don't push your luck." He warned him slowly, as he gripped Kai's shoulder in order to stabilise himself standing up, earning another clear bloom of colour on the boy's face, which Damon noticed but chose not to analyse.
Kai watched, bewildered, as he was still splayed awkwardly across the greenery. He started waving goodbye to the man striding confidently back towards the central building, calling out "Okay! Take care dude! See you around!".
An awkward nod from Damon in return made Kai feel giddy.