Chapter Text
Kisumi stared at his bright laptop screen in the dark room. His eyes burned from a multitude of things; mainly though the tears stinging the corners. It was also nearly 4am and they had a rather rigorous evening. All things considered it had been a good night. Sousuke got home early from his job so the two were able to enjoy a meal together for the first time in a long time. They then sat down to watch some TV before heading to the bedroom to consummate their relationship once more.
It should have been perfect. Save for one thing. During probably the best sex ever, Sousuke cried out another’s name at climax; Rin’s name. It hurt so much just remembering it. Worst part was the swimmer didn’t even realize it. He just collapsed in a happy heap beside Kisumi and soon fell asleep.
But Kisumi couldn’t sleep after that and that’s what led him to be sitting in front of the computer at such a late hour. His silent tears had long since dried up as he scrolled through several similar websites, looking for something in particular. It had been four years now since the first time they reunited on Rin’s bed. Only three years ago now since they got an apartment together in the neighbouring town to Iwatobi; where Kisumi’s community college was.
The basketball player knew of Sousuke’s feelings for Rin and in the beginning didn’t really care if he was just being used. But lately that had started to change. He found himself truly longing for Sousuke to reciprocate his feelings. It was kind of cruelly ironic really. Kisumi was pining after the swimmer in the same way he was pining after Rin.
The worst was that look in Sousuke’s dark turquoise eyes whenever he glanced across the sea or at one of Rin’s recent letters. What Kisumi wouldn’t give to know he was thought of with the same devotion. But he reminded himself that he was just a surrogate and cry silently when his beloved wasn’t around. He could put on the most convincing smile despite each day his heart breaking.
Tonight was the final straw that shattered the remaining piece. It was the first time Sousuke had called out the wrong name… but once or a million times made no difference. During their intimate time together, Sousuke still had Rin in his mind; whether or not it was sexually was of no consequence either. So he released a quiet sigh and clicked the final purchase button before closing his laptop and heading outside to their apartment balcony.
The last of the summer wind kept the air warm enough for Kisumi to stand outside without a jacket. In just over two weeks, it would be Sousuke’s 21st birthday. Not really considered to be a big birthday in Japan seeing as that was the year before was his 20th. Kisumi smiled in memory at how drunk Sousuke had gotten. He could barely remember the night himself save for the end when he attempted to carry the larger male home.
While not being too much taller, it was still a difficult fete. They had just barely made it home before Sousuke made a made a mad dash to the bathroom to promptly empty his stomach. The two of them ended up camped out in the bathroom with throbbing headaches and severe nausea; swearing that would be the first and last time they’re drink so much.
There was also the time Hayato came to stay for a couple of days. It was so cute watching him and Sousuke bonding together. Despite his scary appearance, Sousuke was a surprising natural with children once Hayato warmed up to him. Fresh tears began to roll down his cheeks. They had been through so much together, so many memories.
And yet why?
Why was he still second in Sousuke’s heart?
He could feel the familiar prickles of jealously beginning to bubble up within. He tried shaking his head to get rid of them. He knew it would only make things worse if he brought it up. Before he knew it, the first golden rays of light pierced through the horizon. He shivered from the cold, wrapping his arms instinctively around himself. Kisumi quickly headed back inside just as the metal mail flatter clattered nosily.
A sense of dread sank in his chest as he spotted a red and blue, stripy trimmed letter sitting on top. Without even reading the address, he knew who it was from. A part of him considered just hiding or even destroying the letter. But the rational side kicked in and Kisumi knew Sousuke would only hate him for such a terrible deed. Gingerly he picked up the scattered letters and set them on the countertop where the swimmer could see them as soon as he woke up. Then he got an idea.
He grabbed an apron and began preparing two bento boxes. Around 8am Sousuke emerged dressed in just his boxers. “Morning.” He mumbled, groggily making his way towards the coffee machine. “That smells good. What you cooking?”
“Morning… sleep okay?” Kisumi asked putting on his sweetest voice. “And I was thinking… since it was such a nice day today, we could go out for a picnic. So I made us some tonkatsu lunches. Your favourite”
“That sounds good.” Sousuke said as he sipped his coffee, smiling as the caffeine awakened his senses. “So where’d you go last night? Couldn’t sleep?”
“Ah yeah.” The basketball player lied. “Got a lot of schoolwork on my mind.”
“Well at least you’ll be done soon.” Sousuke replied setting a mug in front of Kisumi.
Kisumi nodded and just quietly sipped his coffee, hoping Sousuke wouldn’t notice anything suspicious. Thankfully his love interest was still groggy before he caught on and only seemed to wake up when he finally spotted the letter. His eyes sparkled as he snatched the thick envelope.
“Did this just arrive?” He asked, poorly hiding the excitement in his tone.
“Ah yeah. First thing this morning.”
“I’ll be right back then!” And with that Kisumi sat alone in the kitchen once more. His chest began to ache but thankfully the ding from the finished rice cooker had distracted him. He stood up and began composing the boxes with such delicacy. Every so often he could hear Sousuke laugh or mutter to himself and took every ounce of will power not to start crying again. This was… this was for the best after all. A small smile crept on his face as he stared at his work. They were simply beautiful. Carefully he covered them and then placed them into the fridge till they were ready to go.
Just then Sousuke re-emerged with a new thick envelope in his hand. “I need to stop at the post office on the way.”
“Sure thing. You replied fast.” Kisumi giggled.
“What are you talking about? It’s almost been two hours.” Sousuke cocked his head to the side. “You okay?”
“Ah, yeah, yeah just tired.” The pinked haired teenager rubbed his eyes for extra effect. “I think early to bed for me tonight.”
Sousuke just chuckled before reaching into his pocket. “Hey check out what Rin sent us.” He produced two necklaces; one of a Aboriginal shark and the other of an Aboriginal kangaroo made of silver and hanging from a leather string. He handed Kisumi the kangaroo.
“Really? This is for me?” Kisumi was honestly surprised. He considered Rin a friend but never to the degree of actually receiving a souvenir. Much less in the same letter addressed to Sousuke. How did they even know they were living together?
“Mmmhmm. He said a local was selling them and he couldn’t resist. Hopefully they’re not cursed…”
Kisumi actually laughed a little, “Well tell him thank you for me then.”
“Already did. Now, how about lunch?”
It was wonderful actually. The two of them just spent the entire day together. Kisumi did everything in his power to make sure Sousuke had a great time without acting too suspicious. As the sun began to set, they sat on a bench staring out into the sea while enjoying some ice cream.
“Are you sure you’re okay Kisumi?” Sousuke suddenly asked as he finished his cone.
“H-huh? What di you mean? We’ve had fun haven’t we?” Kisumi asked nervously.
“Well… I have but you seemed… a little distracted at times.”
Kisumi sighed. It was time for the spell to be broken and the carriage turn back into a pumpkin. From his coat pocket, he drew the printed ticket. “I know you’ve been working really hard to save up for a trip to Australia… but I thought… since your birthday’s coming up this could be my present to you.”
He handed the paper to Sousuke, whose eyes widened reading, ‘OPEN ONE WAY’. “K-Kisumi I don’t-”
“Don’t worry about the Visa application either, it’s processing now and should be ready in a couple of weeks.” Kisumi quickly cut in as he stood up trying to calm his pounding heart. “You’ll finally get to be with Rin again…”
Sousuke stood up, confusion plastered on his face. “Kisumi… what’s going on? Did I do something to upset you? Why are you pushing me away?”
The basketball player began to shake as he gripped the railing; his back turned completely to Sousuke. Tears flowed from his eyes. “N-No… I just… I can’t take that longing look in your eyes anymore…”
“Look?”
Finally Kisumi turned, “Yes. That… wistful stare every time we walked past the ocean or you received a letter from Rin. I know… I know I’m not the one you love but I… I had hoped I could be someday. But after last night…”
“What happened?!” Sousuke quickly shouted, his mind reeling out what Kisumi was suddenly revealing to him.
“You shouted his name!” At this point, Kisumi was sobbing.
Sousuke took a couple steps back as the memories returned. “I… I didn’t… oh god… Kisumi I’m so sorry. Its not what I meant honestly… I was just… just so-”
“I know…” Kisumi said quietly forcing the tears away. “You’re in love with Rin… I was just his substitute. Its my fault for falling in love with you…”
“No! You’re wrong! I…” But the words couldn’t come. “Kisumi I’m so sorry… I really didn’t mean to hurt you…” He tried stepping closer but stopped when the other took a step away.
“Its okay… tell Rin I said hi… I wish you both the best happiness.” And with that Kisumi turned and ran, unable to take the pain any longer. Sousuke just remained rooted to the spot, his mind still trying to process every detail until he finally realized… Kisumi was gone. He looked down at the ticket.
“I promise… I’ll make this up to you… somehow…” Sousuke vowed.