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Tao knows that this is a mistake. That this company will ruin him; pick their teeth with his bones and control him as if he is their pretty little puppet to entertain the masses. He knows this the day he goes to sign the contract. He can see it in the CEO’s hungry eyes. They linger on him a moment too long before the CEO smiles. A flash of teeth that seems more like a wolf baring his canines to a lamb than anything. Run, his mind commands, run. But then his mother is smiling at him, going on and on about how proud she is of her baby, and his dad isn’t frowning for once, and it’s decided.
He signs the contract.
+
Training is vigorous. Especially around the time right before EXO’s debut. He spends hours upon hours in the dance room until his whole body is throbbing with pain and drenched in sweat. The other eleven boys seem to take it much better than he does, smiles adorning their young faces as they chat with each other. ‘Naive’ is practically carved into their tanned flesh, flashing bright in their eyes even when their stomachs howl and tiredness settles in their ribcage, but he’s sure that will change.
This industry will swallow them whole and spit them out broken and tarnished.
Tao stitches on a grin, hiding himself behind a mask of confidence and designer clothes. (His reflection is slowly becoming a stranger, but maybe it’s for the best. Maybe this is how he will survive. By hiding bits of himself away. At least then nobody will be able to dig in their claws and rip to shreds these pieces. At least some part of him will remain intact, no matter how stained and ugly.) He can do this. He can be an idol.
He can.
+
Their debut goes surprisingly well. Cameras flash, fans scream - Tao bathes in the attention. Lets the compliments wash away everything else. All the grime their company has packed onto their skin.
The high doesn’t last long. The criticizing whispers slowly drown out the rest, wrapping themselves around his throat. It's clear SM has a preference for EXO-K. While EXO-M is shoved into a little corner and told to be quiet, be good, SM pushes EXO-K's promotions and music. Yifan seems the most bothered by this, his eyes becoming more worn with each day that passes by. The spark that had once been something ignited by happiness now burns with resentment towards the other members.
Tao pretends it doesn’t upset him. It shouldn’t.
+
Tao takes to interlocking his fingers with Yifan’s more than he should, curling up next to the hyung on nights exhaustion lays heavy on his heart. Thankfully, Yifan never says anything about it. Only pats his head and smiles. He supposes these are the benefits of being the youngest.
He lets Yifan fill the cracks in his smile, laughing louder and brighter in hopes that the older boy will join in; and sometimes he does, but other times he fixes Tao with a glare that reminds him of Kyungsoo’s, looking at him like he’s the reason things are they way the are. Like he’d be so much happier if Tao hadn’t even joined EXO.
(He’s not the only one, Tao thinks.)
+
Eventually, Yifan leaves and Luhan leaves and Tao, well, Tao leaves too. Follows his initial instinct and runs. Even if it is three years late and he is already broken and tarnished and SM’s teeth marks will forever be engraved in his bones. He runs.
Yifan makes sure to stop him before he goes too far.