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What am I doing with someone so bright like you? There are times when I think that this is probably an error, that we shouldn't be, but is that true? Sometimes my mind tells me it has to be. Sun and moon can't be together, neither me and you. You should know it.
Then, why I can't stop clinging to you? Many times I think that, one day, you're gonna leave me, and I can't take it. I keep a light that doesn't belong to me; but, despite that, here you are with me.
I always thought the moon was gonna be my only companion, in the end it's the only one that who's always there in the cold nights, however, in this room, there's only you and me. Looking at you, sleeping so peacefully just makes my heart melt, how can you look that cute even in your sleep?
How can I stop falling in love with you everyday?
We are like the day and night, different. You're always so energetic and bright, while I'm always tired and gloomy almost everyday. You like dark coffee, I like sweet sodas, and the list just goes on and on. Why did you put your eyes in someone like me?
I just head up to the bathroom as quiet as possible,— I don't want to wake you up, neither the kittens,— I want to stop thinking about this and just sleep with you. Nothing more.
Instinctively I look myself in the little mirror on the wall, I don't need the light to notice your little shilouette behind me, rubbing your eyes lazyly. Shit.
"Rittsu...?"
"Sorry, just couldn't sleep" that's the only thing I can say, after a little moment I feel your body pressing to mine by my back. He's so warm.
"Sometimes you think too much"
"Sorry" the only thing I could think of to say. You take me from one of my hands to turn me around so we can be face to face.
There was one time, a little summer night here in the same apartment, that I just couldn't sleep thinking about the same things.
By that time I was feeling so down that I just got out of the room and sat on the little couch to start crying there in the middle of the night. And then you came out, looking at me with confussion, you only sat beside me and hugged me. After a while I told you part of my thoughts, at that time you smiled at me kindly, said that you love me, said that you weren't gonna leave me and that everything was gonna be okay.
And you were right, everything's okay, then why am I feeling like this? Why does this stupid thoughts doesn't leave me?
I can't hold my tears anymore. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.
"Sorry."
"Hey Ritsu, look at me" I can feel your hands cupping my face. "It's okay so don't cry. I'm right here Ritsu and I'm not goind anywhere, not without you".
I can't help but start sobbing, you're here in the middle of the night, smiling for me with the gentliest smile I've ever seen. Why am I so stupid? We go back to the room and sit on the bed next to each other, I let my head fall in your shoulder and you start stoking my hair. After a while I can finally stop crying, I lift my head to see your face, you look a bit tired but you're still smiling to me; I whisper a little 'sorry' and you give me a kiss on the forehead as answer, saying 'it's okay' just with looking at me. We hear a couple of 'meow's from under the bed and we both laugh slightly.
"Oh no, someone's awake too"
"Oww, sorry babies, mamma wasn't feeling well", you say while taking the kittens to the bed, one of them come to me and start purring on my lap.
"Wait but why am I the mother?"
"Why don't?" I open my mouth a bit just to be instantly shut by a kiss. "Should we go to sleep?"
"Yeah, I think I can do it now"
"That's good darling. Good night~" You say laying down while two of the kittens move to your chest, instinctively I do the same with the other kittie I have on my lap. I hate those stupid thoughts so much, but as long as I have you by my side everything's gonna be ok.