Chapter Text
Sansa Snow knew no life other than the one she had been promised.
It had been a life of luxury - a life where she would have to do nothing but live in her brother’s shadow. He would someday be Lord Stark, and there would be nothing for her to do but live as she pleased. This had been the life she was promised, the life she had looked forward to living.
That was, until Lord Rickon Stark and King Viserys got into talking.
It was decided that, because Rickon had two daughters and a son, he could spare a child as a peace offering. Given the choice between his eldest (and legitimate) son or one of his illegitimate twins, he chose the twins. Sansa was chosen because of her unspoken beauty and nurturing kindness, something the Targaryen family in the Red Keep sorely lacked in. At only nine, she was an innocent beauty, with her icy eyes and dark brown hair. She was the spitting image of her mother and a true Princess of the North, as some of the people had deemed her. A good choice as a token of peace between the houses.
Rickon is not shaken by this transaction. He does not care so much for his daughters - the girls that were not meant to happen. A careless night between himself and their mother. Though he had loved her, she was not his to love. The girls were not supposed to be in his care in the first place. They were their mother’s girls through and through, and it should have stayed that way.
Many things should not have happened that led to Sansa Snow, as she was often reminded.
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“My lady,” the knight bowed, not used to speaking to the Snow girls. They were always tucked into some corner of the palace, hidden from the world by their father. They were his greatest mistake. “Lord Stark requests your presence.”
Sansa looked to her twin, who returned her gaze. They did not have the same face, but the two seemed to share a mind when it came to silently talking. Sansa, with her dark hair and light eyes, looked more like her brother and father, while Sara inherited their mother’s lighter brown hair and round face. Cregan Stark, the brother two years their senior, often joked that the only way to tell them apart was their looks. They were one soul split in two.
“Lady Sansa, that is,” the knight corrected as the girls looked at one another. Sansa tilted her head a little, and Sara shook hers. Sighing, Sansa rose and dusted off the dirt from her dress.
“Very well.”
At only nine, she was already the perfect Lady of the North. Despite bearing the bastard name, she was every bit a Stark as her brother, if not more. She was cold and loyal; honest and true; honorable and just. She embodied everything her house stood for, but because of the unfortunate circumstances surrounding her birth, she was not allowed to claim any of it.
“Sansa,” her father greeted, his wrinkled face turning up into what she assumed was meant to look like a smile. She smiled in return and bent the knee. “You look wonderful today.”
“Thank you, my lord.”
He turned his head and studied her face sadly. There was no part of her that did not remind him of her mother - she was every bit as kind-eyed and beautiful as Margaret had been. But she need not know of this. “You have been chosen to live with the royal family on King’s Landing, my girl.”
Her face betrayed her shock, drawing her eyebrows together and opening her mouth slightly. She had never been out of the North, never without her brother, or Sara…
“The king has graciously agreed to take you in as his ward until you are a woman grown, as an offering of our loyalty.”
“A woman…?”
His face darkened as she showed her disappointment. “This is a great honor, and one you would do well to appreciate. You should be thanking me for this wonderful opportunity.”
“Thank you, my lord,” she mumbled, tears forming in her eyes and clouding her vision. A ward of the king. His problem. “I cannot help but wonder if Sara might be joining me?”
“She will not. One must remain here.”
“Oh.”
Rickon sat back in his throne and eyed his child. She may not have been as much like her mother as he thought. Margaret never showed her fear or sadness - she hid it well, as he liked it to be. He didn’t do well with emotions. “Oh, what?”
“Nothing, my lord.”
“Spit it out, girl.”
“I am disappointed she will not join me. I have not been parted from her since birth.”
“You would do well with some time apart. One lady split in two does nothing for her realm or her husband.”
“Very well, my lord.”
He waved her off with his hand as a tear rolled down her cheek. The floor suddenly seemed so much further away, and skewed. “That is all. Get your maids to pack your things, you leave at first light tomorrow.”
She bent her knee and left in an angry flurry of furs and skirts. No knight followed her, her father did not call after her. No one cared but Cregan, who caught her arm as she bolted through the corridors.
“Where to, little blizzard?” he asked with that gentle smile of his. He had been her only positive male figure, and as such, she had relied on him for every kind of support. His smile fell from his lips as he noticed the tear tracks running down her face and her little rosy nose. “What did he say?”
“I-I am to leave for King’s Landing at first light,” she sputtered, fresh tears falling from her eyes. “W-w-without Sara, or you!”
He pulled her to his chest without question. Even as a child himself, he felt a certain protectiveness over his sisters. Perhaps it was the fact that the realm seemed united against them, and he needed to be their supporter. He would fight down armies if it meant keeping his sisters safe. “Oh, San.”
“Don’t let me go, Ree! Please!”
“You know I cannot stop him.”
She sobbed into his chest and pounded her little fists against him. “I don’t want to go! I want to stay here with you! With Sara!”
“You must go, San. Think of all the adventures you may have in the Red Keep - think of all the books, and the dragons! Imagine the dragons they have there, San.”
“I don’t want dragons,” she replied, her voice small. “I want you, and Sar!”
“As we want you to stay, but you cannot. You must go and make our father proud. Perhaps he will send you home sooner if you are as good as the people think you are.”
“I am.”
“Then show them,” He pulled her back by her shoulders and looked into her bloodshot eyes. “Be the Princess of the North, San. Show them what we’re made of.”
“I don’t want to go, Ree,” she whispered, a third round of tears leaking onto her face. “I want to stay here. You can keep me safe here, but not there. I want to be safe with you.”
He could offer no argument nor comfort to that. It was the truth - there was no way for him to get quick news of her from the North. If she needed protection, he would be one of the last to know.
“I don’t want to go,” she repeated, punching his chest again. He let her, holding her shoulders in place as she pressed punch after punch against him, sobbing all the while. “I don’t want to go, Ree. Please don’t make me go.”
“You must, San. I’m so sorry.”
She fell to her knees and onto his lap as he caught her, dampening the warm furs he had wrapped himself in. He put them around her as well as she cried and cried into him, hidden in a dark corridor of Winterfell, not worried anyone would find them. He would protect her to the last - as best he could from the entire opposite end of the realm. That was his promise.
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“San?”
She opened her sticky eyes slowly, feeling like someone placed pebbles on her eyelids. Her twin stood in front of her, pressing a warm cloth to her forehead. How she got in her bed, she did not know. Only that the last thing she remembered was crying into Cregan’s arms in the hallway.
“Ree told me.”
Sansa began to shake. “I can’t go, Sar. I can’t go without you and Ree. He can’t make me.”
“He can, and he will. You know this.”
“Not if I don’t let him.”
“Then he will make me,” Sara said softly, rubbing Sansa’s cheeks with the cloth. “Either way, one of us will be at Winterfell, and the other at King’s Landing. We will not be together.”
“He cannot part us. We are one.”
“He will do his very best, because the more we are together, the more we remind him of mother. He would rather pretend we are Lady Gilliane’s and fully Ree’s sisters than remember his affair with a woman he loved and the disaster that came of it.”
“Just come with me. We can share a room, dresses, meals - we can pretend to be the same person. They will not know the difference.”
“We are not one girl, San. They know this.”
Sansa’s eyebrows turned upwards as she pleaded with her eyes. “Please, Sar. I do not know how to be without you. I have never had to be without you in my life, why do I have to do it now?”
“We would have to do it someday, San. What would happen when we get married? We would no longer live in Winterfell, no longer have the privilege of sharing a room. We would have to be apart most of the time anyway.”
“How can you be so accepting of this? Do you truly want me gone this badly?”
Sara put down the cloth and sat next to her sister, cupping the face so different from her own in her hands. “I do not want you gone in the slightest, my sister. But there is no point wishing for a change where it will not happen.”
“I cannot go.”
Sara climbed into bed with Sansa and wrapped her skinny arms around her, resting their heads together. “You will, and you will be just fine. I’ll only be a raven away.”
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Sansa Snow stood in silence as the servants packed her things into her carriage. There was nothing to say to her siblings - all they could possibly do to try and comfort her had already been tried. She was as stubborn as a rock when she wanted to be. Now she wanted to prove something; she was as strong as they thought and would make them proud. Maybe then she’d see them sooner.
“You have all your prettiest dresses?” Cregan asked quietly, fighting himself to refrain from pulling her in and not letting her leave. Sansa nodded. “Good. You don’t really need them, but it can’t hurt, right?”
She nodded again.
“Did you bring the doll?” Sara asked. They had fashioned themselves a pair of matching dolls the day they had learned to sew, vowing to keep them forever and ever. Each had a personal touch, to symbolize their differences, but were the same in shape and main color. Sansa nodded. “Don’t let her go unpacked, San. Mine will get lonely.”
“As you wish.” Silence.
Cregan sighed and drew the twins to his chest, his eyes watering a little. He would later blame his tears on the bright white of the snow. “My little sisters.”
“Please don’t let me go,” Sansa whispered one last time. Her sister wrapped her free arm around her back and drew her in tighter. “Please, Ree.”
“I must,” he whispered, tears falling. “I am so, so sorry, little blizzard. I hope you’ll find it in your heart to forgive me someday.”
“Only a raven away,” Sara whispered tearfully.
Sansa let out one more good cry before pulling away and raising her chin. “I forgive you both. And I’ll miss you more than I can say.”
“You will do well in the court, little blizzard,” Cregan replied, brushing her cheek with his rough, cold hand. “You are smart and see things others don’t. Only trust those who prove themselves to you.”
“Always.”
“Don’t make any promises you can’t keep,” Sara said quietly. “We Starks do not break oaths.”
“It is a good thing I am not a true Stark, then.”
“You both are as much Starks as I am,” Cregan asserted, his eyes and voice stern. “You will be treated as such at King’s Landing, so why not embrace it?”
“I am a Snow. Of that I am proud.”
“You are my sister. You will always be my sister. Remember that.”
She softened her hard expression and cast a heart-melting smile at her brother. “I love you, Ree. Try not to get too lonely without me.”
“I love you more, San. Don’t injure the princes - no one is quite as strong as me.”
She chuckled and turned to her twin, a piece of her heart already feeling like it was missing. “I don’t know what to do without you, Sare.”
“What you always do; endure. I’m only a raven away at all times.”
“I love you.”
“I love you more.”
“We are ready when you are, my lady,” one of her maids said to her with a bow. She glanced behind her at the carriage and was suddenly struck with fear. Fear of the unknown; fear of a new home without any family.
A soft kiss on her temple brought her back to herself. Sara held her hand as Cregan kissed her gently, seeing the rigid posture she had adopted. “You will do very well. Write as soon as you arrive.”
“Alright.”
Both of her siblings let her go and she was surprised by the cold that gripped her. Cregan saw this and abandoned his furs, putting them around her shoulders with a smile. “Be safe, little sister.”
She nodded and turned away without another word. This would go on forever if she did not end it, so she made the first move away. She entered the carriage and did not say another word until an hour into her travels.
“Cregan and Sara,” she whispered, committing the way their voices sounded and faces looked to memory. “Sara and Cregan. Cregan and Sara; Sara and Cregan; Cregan and Sara…”