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Tohru looked below. The cliffside under her bare feet began to crumble. All she could feel was the fear in her gut, knowing she could do nothing to stop the fall. She would reach out. Reach out as far as she could. But she was weak. Weak, bleary eyed and falling. Again. Again. She should know this feeling by now.
Then Kyo's voice cut through...
She shot up, sweating and panting, trying to catch her breath.
That's right. She wasn't back at Shigure's house. She was here with Kyo. In their new apartment. He slept in the next room over.
The apartment reminded Tohru of the apartment she used to live in with her mom. It was cozy and was offered by the dojo to compensate for the 3 hour move from home.
Outside was dark again. This wasn't the first time she woke up in the middle of the night in their new place. She wondered what kept her up. All the stress from the past couple of years seemed to have disappeared when they moved...Or so she thought.
The tree branches swished outside back and forth; the sakura blossoms trailing down to the first floor below them. The clock ticking on the wall read 2:30 am. The air was still nice out so Tohru left the window open. She didn't realize that her forehead was moist. Beads of sweat lingered near her hairline.
Again.
She let out a deep sigh and sat up properly near the edge of the bed. The cliff side...It always came back to her mind. It was always the cliff. Why that particular time? Why did it play in her head over and over? Akito holding the knife in her hand, Tohru holding back fear, holding tears from the heartbreak of Kyo's rejection...It was one of the worst moments in her life. Yet she faced it the only way she knew how. With kindness. And yet that moment plagued her mind.
She clutched her hand to her chest. Why did she keep reliving this moment in her head? Things were okay weren't they? Was she ungrateful for all the good that had come after? Why was it getting harder to breathe all of a sudden?
She needed to get out.
Tohru, jaw clenched, ran out of her room. She dashed out so fast, she almost ran into the sliding door leading to Kyo's room. She would have if Kyo hadn't opened the door at the same time. Her head clunked against Kyo's chest with such force.
"Whaa? Ah. Tohru?! What..what are you doing here?" Kyo stood frozen at the door, arms above his head at the contact they had. It was reflex from the years of the curse. He slowly brought them down to her hair.
Tohru froze. She wanted to grab her head, excuse herself from bumping into him and feeling stupid. She almost went through the sliding door and-
"Tohru? Are...are you okay?"
She peered through her hair, orange eyes almost glowing back. They reminded her of his eyes glowing back then. Back when he..
She lunged into his chest, throwing her arms up around his shoulders. He caught them both before they fell, holding on to her tight now. "I'm-I'm so sorry...I just..I had a dream...Uh well...not really a dream I think.."
"You think? Do you mean a nightmare?" He murmured. She had a way of dancing around the truth, although he seemed to see right through it.
"Ahh umm..yes, that's what I meant, actually. It was about..." She tried to begin but was cut off by her chin lifting up.
"Tohru...you don't have to explain it to me if it's too much. I just...just want to make sure you're okay."
Tohru bit her lip, fighting back the drops threatening to fall from her eyes.
"Ahh no it's okay....I-I just had a bad dream is all. I'm totally completely fine!" She begged to her mom that her face wouldn't give it away. That the emotion in her face would be illegible. That she could be as strong as she had been the past couple of years. That her tears would dry, her smile would be enough to move past this. She would be-
"Tohru." Ah, how gentle he could be with her. Just the sound of her name from his voice, his hands caressing her face and his eyes. His eyes were the first things that drew her to him. They were kind, yet piercing. Like they could see right into her thoughts. She knew that it was inevitable that he would sense something off. Even half asleep, he would still be alert to anything off with her.
His kindness made her weep. She wept. A stream of tears trailed down her cheeks. She sunk to the ground, still holding Kyo's forearms. She hid her face in her left arm, begging the tears to stop falling. Kyo fell down to his knees, moving his hands to her shoulders.
Tohru couldn't fathom where this sadness was coming from. She had it all. She had Kyo. Kyo was free from the curse. He was free to choose what he wanted to do with his life. He even ended up choosing Tohru to join him by his side. She was elated when they made the move here. So why was she now broken? What plagued her mind at night so much that it was unbearable to be alone?
Alone.
The thought of being alone. Alone on that cliffside. Alone without Kyo.
Without Kyo.
Her tears threatened another wave down her cheeks until her face was thrust into Kyo's left shoulder. She blinked suddenly. Kyo wrapped his strong arms around her. She was still surprised he didn't poof into his cat form anymore after holding her.
She was thankful for that. Now, she ached for his warmth. She ached to be closer. She selfishly wanted this to go on forever. Forever holding him, forever smelling his shirt, forever feeling his arms around her.
She didn't know when she stopped crying but she was glad Kyo was there. He kept running his hands through her hair. Once she slowed down, he planted his lips on her forehead.
"Tohru."
She peered up, while Kyo wiped the last of her tears from her cheeks.
"Would you-would you..." The redness came back near his cheeks and it made her smile again. "Would you like to stay with me tonight? You don't have to! I don't mean do anything dirty! I-ugh.."
He took a deep breath, rubbing his forehead. He pulled her up to her feet with him in a swift motion.
"I just don't want you to feel alone tonight." His cheeks faded to a pink, close to his normal everyday color. Almost. It made her smile big.
"Of course."
She grabbed his hand, and let him lead her into his room. His room was dark, save for the moonlight peering in through one side of the curtains. He mumbled something about there not being a lot of space but she didn't care. He moved the blankets down the bed far enough for them to both comfortably get in.
She closed the distance between them and snuggled into his chest.
He shook for a moment at the touch, but then let out a sigh. The blankets were warm. Tohru was thankful. But it wasn't the blankets that made her feel at peace. It was Kyo. His breath tried to steady as her head lay on his chest. She could hear his heartbeat. She smiled to herself. This is what she was missing. This is what they were missing.
Kyo wrapped his arms around her, letting out one final sigh before attempting to nestle back into sleep. Drowsiness hit Tohru quickly and she felt peace she had been longing for.
She wasn't alone. Even with all these new feelings and memories of the past. Things she still wasn't even sure of.
As long as Kyo was by her side, she would never be alone. Ever again.