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Fin looks up just as the doors to the squad room burst open, and Olivia comes barreling in with her hands full and her bag slipping from her shoulders. She looks harried, but she looks—Fin pauses needing to do a double take—happy. He looks at her again, while she looks like McGrath has called her and demanded a meeting, she looks happier than he has seen her in—well since Stabler left, that asshole. He chuckles to himself, still surprised he hadn’t punched Stabler at least once for the way he had treated Olivia, all of them really, but mostly Liv. He had been the one to ride with her on their first case after Cragen told her Stabler was gone. He had seen the walls being built around her heart when she thought he wasn’t paying attention. She had lain her head against the car window, face hidden behind her hair. She had tried her best to hide her pain from him, but he had heard the quiet sniffles and the almost silent sighs she had let out as she processed her whole world being flipped on its end.
They had arrived at the scene and he had leaned over and placed his hand on her shoulder, “Hey, Liv.” He whispered, “you okay?”
He knew now how stupid that question had really been. Not only was she not okay, but she would never tell him if she was or wasn’t.
She had turned to look at him, eyes still slightly red, “I’m fine, Fin.”
She paused and took a deep breath before taking out a napkin from the door and flipping down the mirror. He saw her check her makeup before sighing, and for the first time in twelve years, put on the mask that told the world to not mess with her. She had always had it, but this mask was different. This mask didn’t have a partner behind it who would always watch her back, who would always protect her, who would always show her how important she really is, and most of all, show her someone who loved her unconditionally.
“You coming?” She sounded agitated now, “Fin!”
He nodded, “Yeah, Liv. I got your back.”
She had opened the door then, satisfied with his answer, and stepped out of the car. All traces of the brokenness she was feeling left behind there in the seat next to him. It was like she had shed Olivia and picked up Liv, the one who dared anyone to love her, to get close to her, or to care about her. He watched her walk away, and vowed then and there in the front seat of the sedan to never leave her. They would have to take him out in a box before he would willing leave her, and even then, he would be by her side. He would do anything he could to make sure he didn’t leave her. She was like his sister, had been early on when he first walked into SVU. He cared about her, and he knew she cared about him and trusted him. If she didn’t, she would have never let him see what he had just witnessed. Olivia Benson would always have Fin Tutuola by her side, covering her six, loving her like family. And, if he ever saw Stabler again, he would make sure he knew exactly what he had done to her. That asshole.
He cleared his head from the memory by popping his knuckles. Anger rising at the way Stabler had treated her. Maybe he would revisit that later. Invite Stabler to the gym. He himself had forgiven him, but he did keep his promises. He had never left Liv’s side, even when he made Sergeant and the Brass had tried. It took some string pulling, and a little revelation on Dodds’ part that he knew about a certain letter regarding Liv, but he had kept his promise and he had stayed. He had vowed to let Stabler know what he had done, and it wasn’t exactly too late to keep that promise. He shook his head at the thought though, all it mattered to him really is that Stabler apologized to Olivia, and she accepted it. She deserved the happiness she really wanted. If anyone deserved happiness, it was her. He turned his attention back to Olivia as she walked toward his desk.
“Morning Liv,” he smiled at her and noted the way her eyes lit up as she looked at him.
“Good Morning, Fin.” She motioned with her head for him to follow her into her office. He walked in behind her and closed the door, choosing to sit on her couch. He watched as she shed her jacket and emptied her hands of all the things she had carried in. He noted something was different about her; she seemed lighter, happy, radiant even. She seemed relaxed even in her harried state. She turned toward him, clearly ready to tell him why she had wanted him to follow her when her phone pinged in her hand. She looked down at it and clearly it wasn’t case related or McGrath with the way she lit up; her smile reaching her eyes for the first time in a long time.
“You okay, Liv?” He questioned, clearly curious. Whatever it was, he wanted to know so he knew if he needed to run interference or kick some ass or finally call Munch and Cragen because she and Stabler finally figured things out.
She slowly looked up at him once she had responded to the text, and he half expected her to respond with I’m fine, Fin, with them both knowing she wasn’t. To his surprise though, her smile widened and her eyes misted over, “I’m good.” She paused then and looked at him again, her mouth opening and closing slightly like she wanted to say something more, but didn’t know how to word it. She nodded her head slightly, almost like she was giving herself permission, “I’m great. I’m happy, happier than I have been in—”
“Ten years,” he provides quietly, knowing exactly who and what she’s talking about and she nods. He looks at her, really looks at her, and what he sees is the real—for lack of better words, he decides— Olivia Benson. The one who has her partner back and knows without a doubt she’s protected, important, and unconditionally loved. He smiles at her, “happiness looks good on you, Liv.”
She relaxes just slightly, “we still have a lot to work through, but we’re getting there.” She looks over at him, smiling, “we, um—” She pauses, shakes her head like she can’t believe she’s actually sharing something personal, “we decided to see where this goes.”
He smiles at her, grinning like the Chesiree cat because he can’t wait to call Munch and Cragen, both of them owing him. He leans back on the couch, big brother mode activated instantly, “I guess I need to call Stabler and schedule some time to remind him you have two big brothers watching your back?”
Olivia grins at him and playfully slaps his arm, “Fin!”
“I’m just saying,” he shrugs his shoulders and laughs as she rolls her eyes.
“We’re good Fin,” she leans back on the couch, “really good.”
He turns his head too look at her. She has her face turned away from him, eyes far away like she’s replaying something in her mind, but he can see it. He sees the truth played out on her face, not hidden this time by her hair. She is happy, truly happy. Her bruise on her face is fading, overshadowed by the happiness radiating from her. And he notices then, that her walls have cracks in them, and they are beginning to fall as the light shines through.
He hears her phone ping again, and he feels her get up to pick it up from her desk where she dropped it. He sees the moment Captain Benson returns, ready to pick up and move throughout the day, serving justice and healing where needed, but he still sees the light of love that refuses to stop shining.
He hears her call for him, “Fin, you coming?”
He nods, “Yeah, Liv. I got your back.”
“Like you always have,” he hears her whisper, and he smiles.