Chapter Text
Roses, check.
Perfume, check.
A kiss, check.
Now he mention about alcohol and I remember I saved my first alcohol to be experienced with him, too. Well, if I still have my dad with me, I'd do it with my dad, just how he did it with his dad. But I only have my mom and she said she's cool if I want to do it with Chan, so... Now I taste the bitter soju with him sitting in front of me, keeping his smile while watching my furrowed eyebrows and frowned forehead as my first reaction.
"Maybe we should start with something lighter... like beer." He said with giggles in between.
I only take a little sip but my forehead is frowning hard. Chan get up to order a bottle of beer, asking for the sweetest one they have.
"How you survived freshman inauguration, though? They didn't asked you to drink?" He asked after put a bottle of cold beer in front of me.
"I kept making excuses to reject any drink they offered me."
He laughs in tiny.
"You promised me."
Now he nods his head, watching me try the beer with some kind of expectation. One gulp, and I'm not frowning. Blinking my eyes a couple times, eyeing the bottle of beer in my hand while I focus on tasting the liquid in my tongue. It's not bitter, it rather sweet.
"Sweet, isn't it?"
I'm nodding my head now, suddenly feeling happier. "Tasty."
"Then just drink that instead." He said that, but I already take my soju glass to taste it again.
And here's come again the frowning on my forehead, so I immediately take another sip of the beer making him burst out laughing.
"Right, you can do that, taking one sip back and forth. It's okay."
I'm smiling shyly, "But why you not drinking?"
"I need to stay sober."
"Not even one sip? I want to see it, though."
He take a breath, "One sip? I think one sip is okay." He pour down soju to his glass, filling it fully. Taking one glance at me to found me watching him with great expectation, he smiles softly before gulp it all down in one shot. Instantly bringing my jaw drop.
"Isn't that bitter?"
"Less bitter than the first time I tried it." He smiles again, "I got used to it."
"How many glass you had in your first time?"
"My dad made me emptied the bottle."
"All by yourself?!" I nearly screamed while he just answered with nodding head.
"But that's all for me tonight. I need to stay sober."
"Did you drink with your current teammates?" I take another sip of the beer. The beer tastes much like some kinda juice, I like it.
"Of course. We had drinks after winning yesterday too, they're quite drinker."
"Are they kind? How was it? Your life there?"
He lick his lip before answer, "It's good, so far. They're... respectful seniors. Not the kind of senior who scream at junior when we did something wrong, they more like... teacher. They teaches us and watch us improving in every practices. I found them scary sometimes in between practices, but it's bearable. I mean, their discipline is understandable, and with that, they look cooler in my eyes."
Not realizing that I'm smiling the whole time hearing his story, "Fortunately."
"The vibes are good there." He's nodding his head, staring at me. "You? How's your seniors here?"
"Well..." I take another sip of the beer, "So-so..."
"You rarely socializing again, aren't you?"
I don't answer, but he knows me well. We were together almost everyday in senior year, of course he knows that I prefer to be alone rather than hang out with many people. I'm comfortable with solitude. It was him who accompanied me most of the time, either he took me hangout with his friends, or he brought his friends to hangout with me. He was protective when I'm not with him, so he prefer introduced me to his team members to hangout with. With that, he said he can still monitored me while make me getting a little bit more social with people. That's why even after graduated, I still get in touch with his old team members, we even watched his first basketball game together days ago.
"You won't be annoying if I'm socializing more now?" I kinda twinkling my eyes.
"I can't help it, I'm far away. As long as you tell me about it, you're free to meet everyone."
"Every guys? My seniors?"
"Of course. I'm being cool now, am I?" I smile, take another sip as he continue, "I don't want you to wandering alone. It worries me more."
"I hang out with the kids pretty often."
He nods, "That's good. But make friends with the kids in your school too, okay? And later introduce them to me."
"So that you can spying me through them."
"So that I can still protect you through their helps." Strangely, I'm smiling with happiness but trying to hide it by looking down.
Silence.
I feel him leaning closer, put both of his hands and elbows on the table, "You okay?"
I feel odd. Suddenly I feel so happy that I'm smiling wide looking at him.
"Hot, isn't it? Your cheeks turn so red."
I touch it with both of my palms, "Is it?" I blinking my eyes slowly, eyeing him who smiling wide then giggling his exceptional giggles. He seems happy, too.
Another silence, now with us gazing at each other. This one is pretty long silence.
"I kinda miss you."
He smiles in disbelieve, "Really? You always complained about me following you around and being too protective, but now you miss me?"
"I miss you." I repeat.
"What you miss about me?"
From this now on, without any reason, we both speaking with our soft voices, more like whispering words, shifting the atmosphere completely different. And I'm not sure when, but my finger locked with his. Just one finger, our forefingers, intertwined to each other on the table. And although we hugged and kissed today, this time right now, I feel this is the most intimate moment I've been with him. The bar not too loud and noisy, strangely, making the vibe just... intimate.
"Hm... what I miss about you... just... your presence around me...?" Somehow I feel nervous, without me knowing I keep avoiding his gaze. "Your smile?"
I take my courage to look at him, pressing his lips together in a soft smile.
"The kind of smile where I can see you dimple..." Then he smile wider showing me his dimple.
"What else?"
"Hm..." Our fingers somehow moving here and there, finding each other to be able to touch more. "Motorbike... I miss riding it with you..."
"Tomorrow. We will do that tomorrow. I'll pick you up with my motorbike tomorrow."
"What we gonna do tomorrow?"
"Anything you want. I'll visit your mom, too. And for dinner, we're gonna eat with my old teammates."
I nod then smile, "I like it."
He's staring at me then give me the most endearing smile of him, tilting his head. "I miss you, too. We were inseparable, but suddenly so far away by distance. It's hard. You don't know how much I think about sneaking out to come to you when I got the chance."
This time I let out a tiny laugh, "You can't! You should stay in the team."
"Right..."
"And become a captain soon."
"I don't think it'd be soon. Our current captain is incredible, I don't think anyone could replace him any sooner."
"And is that fine with you? You always be a captain, though. You're a leading type."
He chuckle a little, "It's okay, though. As long as we keep winning. I hate losing, you know?"
"I know."
There's absolutely tension when we suddenly become quiet in the middle of conversation like this, it happens often now and it always follow with us just staring at each other, sometimes smiles form in our lips, but still no particular words come out until after some times.
"I miss you." I whispered to break the silence.
"You... already said that. In fact, a couple times."
"But I really miss you, what should I do?"
"You're seeing me right now."
"But still..."
He laughs then comes another silence. Not long, because he then ask, "Is your place far from here?"
I shaking my head, "No. Around... 10? 15? 10 minutes of walking."
He's nodding understand.
"Why? Is it the time to parting already?"
"You seems tipsy."
"Am I?" My eyebrows go up.
"Looks like it to me."
"I don't even finish one glass of this... soju..." I take the glass and try to gulp down the remaining liquid in it. It still taste awfully bitter so I drink the beer again.
Chan is laughing again. And then...
...silence again.
"I miss cheering for you from the bleachers..."
"You don't like seeing me sweating, though."
"Right." I smile, "But I get used to it." I look at our intertwined fingers, fitting each other just right. "It starting to feel kinda hot now, here."
"It's the alcohol."
"Is it?" I glance up, "But it's not the kind of hot I dislike."
"Fortunately." He giggled while inspecting my expression, trying to read me. "How's the kiss? Your first kiss."
"Sweet..." A shy smile forms in my face, "...soft. I like it."
"As you expected?"
"Hm." I'm nodding my head shyly.
"Congrats for finally being an adult." I laugh instantly hearing him saying that, kinda loud. "Now you got freedom to decide anything regarding your life."
I laugh, "I'm not feeling that much different."
"You'll feel it soon." I feel his thumb caressing my skin around the back of my hand.
"You... kissed me today..."
He nod.
"Can I... return it to you now?" He sighing, looking down in shyness. "I want to learn."
"About? Kissing?"
"Hm." I stare at him with meaningful smile, "Teach me. Like you were teaching me physics back then."
He take a long breath, "It's different, though. It needs more practice than theory..." He leaning forward closing our distance, eyes on me, head kinda tilting but subtle. Smile is inviting, challenge me.
But then he gets a little taken aback when I leaning forward to him, closing the distance even more between us. Maybe he's right about I'm being tipsy right now. I feel lighter, happy, as if I'm flying. And he looks extremely handsome and attractive right now. I feel the heat, from me especially. But I think I like this kind of heat right now. It's odd but get me excited for no reason. Like makes me braver to do anything.
I catch a glimpse of surprise on his eyes before I lean even closer to him, remove the remaining space between our faces. Closing my eyes just right before my lips touching his. One hand reach out and place on his neck for support. Then I do what he did before, trying to copy the way he kissed me before. This is really practical, I don't know if I'm doing it right, I just purely copying what I feel he did to my lips couple of hours ago.
And I know that I'm doing it right when I feel his mouth open and lips moving the same. Sucking my upper lip while I'm doing it to his lower lip. I'm doing it right. I grip his neck skin, somehow feeling his veins tighten as he sucking more of my lips. Heads tilting left and right through it, mouths open a little bit wider, sucking harder.
Hot. I feel it again. Heat coming from both of us, breathing exchanged until he suck me deep for the last time then separating our lips.
Smiling without me knowing, still with my eyes closed, happy. When I open it he welcomed me with tenderness radiating from his gaze.
"Unexpectedly, you're a fast learner in this." He whispered, our faces still close.
"Well... looks like in my case, practice is easier than theories..." I'm looking down shyly. "I miss your smell..." I said suddenly without thinking, being this close to him, I just realized I can smell him so clearly.
At this point, all I said to him tonight seems like alcohol involved. I don't think I can say these things very directly to him without the help of the liquid.
"I miss smelling this when I'm close behind you on your motorbike... I like how the wind would blow your scent to me." I mumbled, fingers move down to rest on his shoulder.
I must be gone crazy right now, can't stop saying things.
"I'll walk you home." He responded after just looking at me for awhile.
I'm smiling, getting up from my seat as he take my hand and pull me up.
-
-Bang Chan's PoV-
Don't know the specific reason, but she is emmaculate right now. I mean she's always been pretty, that's the first reason I'm attracted to her and asked her out, but tonight... she looks especially... glowing. From her appearance to every words she said... everything is... emmaculate. With her cuteness and innocence still remain here and there, she feels more mature than from the last time I met her...? I don't know, she feels even more independent but then very open at the same time. Independent girl rarely open up to other people, let alone let someone else in, she was like that back then. Even until we graduated. But tonight, she lean on to me so much. Her gestures, her words, even touches... she still not let go of my hand now that we're walking side by side to her place.
This is not typical.
Is it because we finally meet after months? Is it because she really became an adult? Or is it just because of the alcohol?
It gets my nerves, honestly. I rarely feeling nervous around her, I mostly felt comfortable around her, but tonight... I get unreasonably nervous. People might say this is what should a relationship be, but somehow this is unusual for me. I like things going within my control, though.
"What time is it now?" She asked softly.
Pretty late, I said on my mind.
But I checking the watch on my left hand, the one that still holding hers, make her hand goes up as well. "Nearly midnight."
"Will there be any bus left? What time the last subway will depart?"
"I can grab a cab."
"It must be tiring. You were commuting from your dorm, then here to my place, and still need to go home."
"It only takes around an hour with a cab, there's no traffic anymore this late." I giggled.
I giggling a lot today.
Silence until she stop in front of an apartment building. It must be it, her place.
"We're here." She smiles, head looking up, hand still not letting go of mine.
Or is it mine that still not let go of hers?
"Today feels short, don't you think?" She asked still without looking at me, her eyes still wondering the building.
"Is it...?"
She finally looks at me, "I still miss you."
That words again. She said it many times since we met. She misses me that much? She rarely said that in our school days. But to be fair, that's understandable because we met exactly everyday. We were classmates for the whole senior year.
We're staring when I don't say anything to another confession from her -that she miss me. I feel a little afraid of what's to come next from her mouth, because somehow I can predict it from the way she tighten her grip on my hand.
"You want to stay a night instead?" She said it without any tremble in her voice, it rather filled with sureness eventhough her volume is low and the texture is rather soft, only almost like a whisper. "We can go to our parents house from here tomorrow, would be less hassle for you."
I blink. I think I need to get myself together. I'm a little tipsy, too. I drank a glass of soju, but I'll still need to think rational and of course, being responsible.
"Only sleep." She said again, making sure. She must looking my face turn weird.
What am I thinking?
"Where will I sleep?" I'm smiling teasing her.
"Well, we can share my bed. Or if you uncomfortable... you can sleep on the floor, I have spare blanket."
"You miss me that much?" Another giggles let out and she just answer it with pouting lips.
"Remember when you talked about adult freedom? I want to try it. This is... the first adult freedom I choose to do." She lick her lips. "Since you've been here all along in every firsts I did after becoming an adult..." She looking down shyly watching our hands that still locking to each other, "...for every firsts that I'm gonna experience in the future... I will be only involving you. Not anyone else, but you."
I'm going crazy right now.
Taking a deep breath before finally decided, "Okay, then... you get in first, I'm going to convenience store nearby to buy some stuff. I need to change my clothes..."
She look up to me and smiles in the sweetest way possible, dear lord she's so pretty, I'm not your strongest soldier.
"There's a convenient store at the end of this street."
"Alright. Get in first." I let go off her hand then turn around to the direction she told me.
"Bang Chan." She called after some steps I just walked, so I turn around again to her. "305. Third floor."
Another blink of eyes from me. "Alright."
"I'll wait, don't run away."
I laugh, "You're drunk."
"I'm not~"
"Alright, get in. I'll be quick."
And quick I am, for real. I grab things I need, clothes, toothbrush, towel. And despite how hard my heart is beating, my brain running to think carefully about the situation I'll be in in a few hour.
Is this right? Should I really do this? She said only sleep, but who knows? Is it right if I'm thinking about it?
She's an adult, right. She said it right, but still...
Conflicted, I call her mom before proceed to pay all these things I just grab. Her mom answer the phone with her usual bright tone I knew so well. We're close, just how she's close to my family. I explain the situation carefully, wetting my lips many times in between my speaking.
"She want me to stay a night..." I said, clearly sounded nervous.
"Well... are you drunk, too?" She knew about the first alcohol experience thing, I asked her permission long time ago. "I drank one glass of soju."
She laughs a little, "I don't understand why you call me, then."
"I mean... I need your permission..."
"She said this is the first adult freedom she chose. You don't need my permission. I trust you, Chan." She laughs more, "You're adult too now."
I'm gulping down and feeling even more nervous that she said it so easily like that.
"Buy contraception just in case. That's my only advice."
Now I'm the one who laughs, "We're just gonna sleep."
"Then, why you call me and ask for permission?" Another laughs come out of her, "You're cute."
"This is my first time, that's why..."
"You'll be okay, I trust you. There's no one else I can trust my daughter to, but you. You knew that already, we talked about this once." A brief of silence, "I won't ask anything tomorrow, I take this call as if it never happen."
"Okay..."
"See you tomorrow. You have something you want to eat specifically? I'll cook it for you."
"No, don't bother it too much, eomoni. We probably gonna get dinner with the kids."
"Alright then, see you tomorrow~" with that, she just ended the call, leaving me speechless.
Putting back my phone to my pocket, I wander this place fast then go to the last aisle, scanning the pile of condoms they sold here, then grab one without thinking. I storm to the cashier.
Right, just in case. We're just going to sleep, but just in case.
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