Work Text:
Jisung is completely happy and secure in his relationship with Mark. He’s absolutely, 100% sure, and very convinced that if there was anyone that was meant for him it would never not be Mark. Sue him, the kid’s in love.
Still.
People tell him all the time that it sounds too cliche, and completely unrealistic that they’ve managed to stay together for so long whenever they find out that Mark and he have been together since he was in high school.
We’re living proof of it then , he’d simply reply, because the friends and family that matter to him all understand and see why they just work. So no, baseless comments from people that don’t even know them that well definitely do not get to him and make him insecure when Mark Lee does all these cute romantic and thoughtful things and is just about the best boyfriend in the-
He never expected to hear the same thing from someone so close to them, though.
“I’m just worried, and I don’t want you to get hurt if, hypothetically, anything were to happen,” Jaehyun explains when he sees Jisung’s eyebrows crumple.
“Mark wouldn’t cheat. You know he’s not that type of person.”
“I’m not saying he would cheat, and I'm not even talking about him being unloyal or anything. It's just that he’s, you know, a college dude, and it seems too good to be true that nothing at all has happened in your relationship. And as your older brother, I’m simply looking out for you, Jisung.”
“College dude? Am I not a college dude too? And you were too once, and right now it just sounds like you’re projecting onto my boyfriend. It's rude and I don't want to hear you accuse him like that ever again.”
He’s furious that anyone would ever think of Mark badly, let alone someone who has known Mark for years. He can hear Jaehyun’s voice, probably trying to reason with him but he doesn’t register the words, the anger of Mark being misjudged clouding his thoughts as he paces his brother’s living room.
His phone vibrates and he knows it's a text from Mark. He rolls his eyes at Jaehyun and makes his way to the door. He’s absolutely pissed that Jaehyun would insinuate such a thing, that Mark would ever be the cause of his hurt when all Mark ever did was be the best for Jisung.
As Jisung is putting on his shoes at the front door, ready to leave for the library where he is going to meet Mark, Jaehyun tries to talk but he chooses to block out his words.
“Can’t you just keep your head out of my relationship?” He almost shouts as he pushed Jaehyun into the apartment and slams his apartment door shut. He takes his phone out to reply to the messages he received earlier, and his breath catches in his throat.
Le mark
hey baby my class might run late
but i'm with yuta-hyung so i'm not alone
so you should head back and get some rest
don’t wait up! Love you
—
He’s feeling a bit better as he walks into the library, a couple of days after visiting Jaehyun. Jaehyun had called him later that same night, apologising to Jisung for what he said no matter his initial intentions, and that, of course, he trusts Mark, because who wouldn’t?
That was enough for Jisung, and soon that incident was pushed to the back of his mind as he was pulled back into his content-heavy lessons, buried under the deadlines and projects that were starting to pile up.
Until he sees loud and cheery Donghyuck giggling next to Mark, a small spark of irritation in his chest.
He knows, somewhere in his head, that it was absolutely nothing. That Donghyuck is like that with him even. He glances down at his phone, as though waiting for a text from Mark. But it never comes, because his phone is face down next to Donghyuck’s elbow, and Mark is laughing at something Hyuck says, most definitely not texting Jisung.
It seems like Mark is content with the company he has, and it's as though his presence wouldn't be needed. If he sat there, Mark probably wouldn't laugh as hard, and his nerves and jumpiness would force Mark to lower his volume to coddle Jisung who is always afraid of being told off by the librarian.
He suddenly feels tired, so he turns back to head out of the library and walks straight to his dorm, ready to fall asleep for the next ten years.
SungJi
mork
kinda dead weight lol so im heading back to sleep
hope that’s okay, sorry :(
Le mark
rest well baby, don’t worry about it
want me to come over?
SungJi
wouldn’t be fun company if im asleep lol
Le mark
being with you iS the best company
HHAAHA
<3
SungJi
it’s alright!
i’m sure you’re tired too
go take a break :)
Le mark
your wish is my command sir 🫡
Love you my jisungie
—
When he inevitably wakes up to a Mark-less bed for what feels like the third time this week, he gets utterly disappointed, catching himself before he starts to whine. Even though it was he who turned down Mark’s offers to come over at night, after Jisung talks about how busy his days have been.
“You can’t keep waking up expecting him in your bed if you keep telling him not to come, you know.” He turns around under his sheets and sees Chenle leaning against the wall, socked legs crossed on his bed as he scrolls on his phone.
Though he definitely saw much less of Mark you this week, he realises that he also barely saw Chenle, which is surprising because besides being in the same circle of friends, they were roommates.
He looks to the windows, the curtains were drawn and the sun too harsh to still be morning.
He squints at the time on his phone, ignoring all his notifications. He groans when he realises he slept through practically half the day, with only one hour left to his next class.
He had slept until four in the afternoon and he still felt as tired as he did when he fell asleep last night at 9. It is a tiredness that seeps into his bones as he regretfully leaves the comfort of his bed to get ready.
His feet are in his shoes and he’s grabbing his keys when Chenle’s voice pins him down.
“You know you missed lunch with Mark, right?”
He pauses and belatedly realises that yes, not only did he sleep in for far too long but, he also slept through his usual Thursday lunches with his friends, and by default Mark.
“Yeah, but I was sleeping. I’m sure you saw that when you came back.”
Chenle doesn’t hide the slight surprise at Jisung’s tone and raises his eyebrows in question. Jisung keeps quiet and pretends to tie his shoelaces.
“If I didn’t know any better, I would think you were doing something behind Mark’s back.”
All the words Jaehyun apologised for, the ones that sounded so similar to the things people said to him before and oh.
He swallows his thoughts and turns away from Chenle and his piercing eyes.
“I’ll see you when I get back, Chenle,” Jisung says as he rushes out the door.
—
He swears that he wasn’t doing it consciously. But now that he’s aware that he was essentially avoiding Mark, he makes even more excuses, immediately turning away when he hears the ever-rowdy seniors and the rich tone of Mark’s voice down the crowded university halls.
Even without seeing Mark for almost two weeks, he’s so attuned to his presence and it makes him want to curl into a ball and sob himself away.
Every time he gets a notification from Mark, he wonders if Mark feels the ache of his absence the same way he does. But every time he thinks of calling a truce to this one-sided conflict, another seed of doubt is planted in his brain, and his thoughts provide the most ideal conditions for them to grow, grow and grow.
He almost breaks when Donghyuck shouts at him accusingly when they bump into each other.
He says, that Mark's mood is downcast, because Jisung has been avoiding him, but Jisung texts him and Mark texts Jisung and he’s not dumping his insecurities onto Mark which is doing all of them a favour and he snaps at Donghyuck.
“Mark clearly isn’t with me right, now, so if he’s so upset you should go comfort him yourself!”
He misses the shock that colours Donghyuck’s face as he walks away from him, just before Mark turns the corner behind Donghyuck and watches confused as he sees Jisung retreating.
—
Le mark
jisung, are you alright?
haven’t seen you in so long feel like forevrrr
SungJi
im so swamped im sorry mark
Le mark
its okay
We all just havent seen much of you and im just a tiny bit worried
SungJi
dont worry about me
hyung
Le mark
it is my job to worry about you.
no matter what i Love you
remember that
SungJi
love you too
Le mark
take care of yourself Jisungie
—
He doesn’t know what to do when he’s eating lunch with Jaehyun after the second week of not seeing Mark, and he asks about Mark.
“I haven’t seen much of Mark lately,” Jisung shrugs him off, poking at the food his brother cooked.
His tone hardened when he asks, “Did he do something?”
They sit in silence for a few minutes, because how pathetic would it sound for Jisung to admit to his brother that maybe his words the other day had indeed sparked some insecure part of Jisung, and that he had been avoiding Mark.
He wants to blow up at Jaehyun the same way he did before, the way he did at Donghyuck but he knows it would be unfair to pin the blame on him when he knows that the insecurity was somehow already nestled deep inside himself.
“Jisung?”
“No,” his phone pings and he knows it's Mark without looking but makes no move to check or reply. “Whatever this is, it isn't Mark's fault.”
—
“My Jisung Navigator was beeping and brought me here.”
Mark shamelessly drags his gaze across Jisung’s sweaty body from head to toe, grinning like a fool when his eyes meet Jisung’s. His pupils are so blown up he thinks Mark might start floating, and Jisung hides his face in his hands when he shifts his glances and realises the many pairs of eyes watching them.
Mark brings his hands to Jisung’s waist and pulls him closer, and Jisung has the mind to push Mark away— he’s all sweaty and gross!— when he catches a glint and Jisung almost melts into a puddle, right there and then, in front of all the other dancers. Embarrassing.
“My Jisung Navigator also told me that you’re tired and need to go home and rest.”
Maybe it's the fact that he spent two entire weeks without Mark’s attention on him for more than five minutes straight, and it throws him into a whiplash. He feels dizzy and lightheaded and so comfortable that he doesn't even try to push mark away
“But I still have to...” Jisung trails off. Still at a loss for words, Mark cuts off his halfhearted protests fairly easily.
“I'm bringing Jisung home, have a good night everyone!” Mark says over his shoulder as he picks up Jisung’s bags and drags him out of the studio, Jisung stumbling to keep up with Mark’s quick pace.
—
As soon as Jisung steps out of his bathroom, all washed up and changed into fresh clothes, Mark fists his hands into Jisung’s shirt and harshly pulls Jisung towards him. Taken by surprise, Jisung steadies himself by holding his shoulders while Mark moves his hands down to wrap around Jisung’s waist.
“What’s this all about, Mark?”
Mark just rests his face in the crook of his neck and breathes in deeply, as though he was trying to pick up Jisung’s scent with his nose. Mark always told him that he had a distinct smell and that it was his favourite. (“And that’s very weird, Hyung.”) Though he’s pretty sure he only smells like the soap he just used, he still feels shy all the same.
Mark noses at Jisung’s neck, and his skin turns almost feverish, his knees pure jelly. He’s positive that if Mark were to release his agonizingly tight hold on him, he would just fall into a pile of gloop on the floor and never get up again.
“I haven’t seen my boyfriend in so long and I miss him. I’m also sleeping over tonight because I can’t stand to see so little of you when we’re not even that far apart,” Mark pouts against his neck.
His hands slip under his shirt and the skin-to-skin contact makes Jisung feel ecstatic, but longing for some reason, as though Mark wasn't the one touching him right now.
The emptiness he felt over the past two weeks runs fresh in his mind, the chills he felt without Mark’s ever-warm embrace and he thinks he’s absolutely crazy to have gone two entire weeks without it, and it makes him ache.
He envelopes Mark in a hug and holds him tight and with a shuddering breath, he whispers “I have missed you so much.”
Mark waddles him backwards to his bed and pushes him to lie down gently. He snuggles up behind Jisung and kisses him at the juncture of his neck before he mutters a sleepy "Goodnight" against Jisung's skin.
Jisung leans back into Mark’s sturdy chest, whose arms arms were tightening their hold on Jisung's waist, and tries desperately to give in to dreamland. Warm, comfortable, something he’s grown so used to.
—
He doesn’t know how much time has passed, just that it has been hours and he is still not asleep. Mark’s grip had slackened sometime during the first 30 minutes, and the simple fact that he is in bed with Mark Lee has him feeling giddy again.
But his guilty conscience is eating at him, preventing him from relaxing into Mark too much, because how dare he feel insecure? How dare he even have the thought that Mark would ever be anything but sincere?
As though Mark could hear his thoughts, Mark suddenly releases Jisung's waist and sits up on the bed.
“Jisung? Are you still awake?”
He knows it's a lost cause, but he still tries to stay as still as he can.
He is rolled onto his back, and then he’s looking up at a Mark Lee.
“I know you’ve been awake, you’ve been rock solid for the past hour.”
Ah, so it has only been an hour, Jisung thinks to himself.
He scans his boyfriend’s face, handsome features with all the little things he loves about him. His nose bump. The stupidly defined cheekbones. His big wandering eyes, even if right now they were looking down in palpable concern.
Even then, Jisung couldn’t help but wonder why his heart felt like sinking every time he even thought of Mark the past week.
Mark’s hands, caressing his face, massaging his temples as he continues to look down over Jisung, always in charge, with the upper hand.
He thinks about the seniors he always hangs out with, who always coddle him and take care of him as he deserves. Friends like Donghyuck and Chenle who can match his energy and go even beyond that. He can’t help but think that in Mark’s colourful life, he paled in comparison to the bright vibrant colours of the other people that surround Mark.
He was extremely tired, and his mouth just spits open the words he’s been thinking over the past few days, festering in the back of his mind ever since the first time Jaehyun brought it up to him.
“Do you even like me still?
“Of course I do, I love you Jisung!”
Without missing a beat Mark smiles one of his large smiles, and on pure impulse, he almost smiles back, because how dare anyone look at that face and not smile back , let alone when it was Mark? No one can have a Mark Lee smile at them and not smile back.
But Jisung was exhausted, and scared because it feels as though Mark was all he knew. And amongst all the bold striking colours he felt so insignificant and dull.
“Do you? Or are you just saying that?”
Now that the words were out of his mouth, it was like a knife through his heart, and he has front seat view of the change in Mark’s expression, and he berates himself for even bringing it up in the first place because Mark was tired from a busy week and he came here to rest. And Jisung ruined that for him by being stupid and saying something that should have been kept inside his head.
Mark’s eyebrows were furrowed but his face was blank, void of any emotion that could tell Jisung how he was feeling, and suddenly he felt his heart sink. Was mark going to break up with him there and then?
“Okay, no, don’t even let your mind go there, Jisung can you sit up please?” Mark says just as his vision becomes blurry and oh, is he really going to cry?
“Talk to me, Sungie. What were you thinking about?”
Mark now has his hands, rubbing circles into his palm. He wants to give in to the comforting action but coupled with his raging insecurity it makes him want to sob but he doesn’t want to cry anymore. Because all mark ever does is take care of him and baby him and Mark deserves better than what he was.
So in his exhausted state, rid of his brain the mouth filter he tells Mark exactly that.
Stupid Mark Lee who always capitalises Love when he texts his parents and Jisung because apparently, it feels more meaningful like that. His Mark Lee that once said he was scared of being too uncool for Jisung, which is ridiculous because everybody loves him.
“You deserve so much better than just me, you can get just about anybody that would be better for you.”
Mark pulls Jisung towards him, resting their foreheads together as he stares into the depth of Jisung's eyes. With the way Mark holds him, looking at him with that look on his face he feels extremely vulnerable, and he swears he feels a tear roll down his cheek.
“If better isn’t you, I don’t want it Jisung. Anybody is nobody if it's not you,” he whispers into the air between them.
Jisung sobs and tries to pull away from where Mark has now pulled him into his neck. “You’re just saying that. Because you have to. You belong with someone that matches your energy better, all I do is pull you down.”
Mark pulls Jisung’s hands off his face, and holds the knuckles to his cheeks.
“The only place I belong is with you, beside you, behind you. Wherever you let me as long as it ends with us together. I don’t need you to match my energy and I’m always happy to make up for whatever you think you lack because even if you never notice you always do the same for me, as we always have been doing."
He brings Jisung’s left hand to his lips and mouths against the soft skin.
“I don’t need or want better if it isn't you. If your better is me too, if you’ll have me, I’ll do better. I won’t make any room for you to feel that way ever again.”'
“Mark, no, you've been nothing but perfect. I’m sorry, I never want to put us through this ever again.” Jisung panics, but Mark is quick to shush him, pulling him back into his chest.
Jisung clings onto Mark tightly, making up for all the distance they've felt in the two weeks. But he still feels guilty and he knows he should tell Mark about what brought this on in the first place. Too tired to contemplate, and comfortable in Mark’s embrace, the whole story flows right out of Jisung’s mouth.
He feels a heavy sigh against the back of his neck, Mark’s grip on his waist tightening, and for a moment Jisung panics and is about to ask, but Mark is quick to reassure Jisung before his mind runs off tangent again.
“Jaehyun called me to check on you, and he may have also told me what happened.”
Jisung freezes. So he knew this whole time?
“When?”
“Just yesterday. If not I would have come to you much earlier. I was worried the whole time, but just in case you actually wanted the space for whatever reason, I wanted to let you have it.”
Jisung turns around in Mark’s embrace, face wet and vision still blurry with tears, and with the amount of love he sees reflected back at him he can’t imagine not ever having Mark by his side.
“Stay with me forever, Mark Lee,” he whispers against Mark’s lips. His palm comes up to rest against Mark’s face, fingers massaging his cheekbone.
“Never do I want to be anywhere else.” Mark grins back, eyes closing as he slots their lips together.
Mark angles himself to fit better against the slide of Jisung’s lips, fingers carding through Jisung’s soft, soft hair and the kiss becomes so tangibly tender, so deep as they fall into perfect rhythm. Two weeks or two seconds, no amount of time apart is justifiable and they make up for lost time, hearts pumping in a uniform beat.
Jisung opens up for Mark and he almost groans because he missed this so much, and he feels so giddy he accidentally breaks off the kiss with a big grin. He opens his eyes, and he sees Mark smile back at him.
“Look at that goofy look on your face. If you can’t even stand two weeks, what if we have to spend a longer time apart?”
“Too soon, Park Jisung.” Mark groans into Jisung’s neck.
“But you love this goofy face don’t you?” He turns his head up to look at Jisung, smiling when their eyes finally make contact.
Jisung leans down to peck him on the nose.
“Remains to be decided.”