Chapter Text
This was stupid, this whole situation was stupid, and for good measure since Aether was feeling a little petty, he definitely thinks that the Wanderer is stupid. There was no reason to get so worked up by some old curse in a half finished tomb they found by crashing through the ceiling. Sure he has a physical mark on his skin to showcase the newly acquired curse, but throughout all his travels inbetween worlds, a new tattoo is the last of his worries. Maybe the curse is true and he might actually die, but Teyvat hasn’t claimed him yet, and one measly death will just be another Monday afternoon. (And maybe Paimon had pulled him aside and asked if that would really work and he didn't have an answer for her). It just wasn’t something worth worrying over, but the Wanderer doesn't agree.
His push leads to where they are now, inside the Sanctuary of Surasthana with Nahida studying his stomach intensely while the Wanderer recounts everything that led up to now. It goes a little something like this:
The desert was a dangerous place, and not just for the ever changing weather. It was sweltering in the day and horrendously cold at night, but that wasn’t an issue when most ruins were underground and evenings could be spent inside his temperature controlled pot. The Eremites were a problem too, sometimes already neck deep in certain ruins and destroying the temples, but they were easy to spot on the surface and meant they were easier to avoid. Treasure hoarders weren’t as prevalent in the desert as they were in the forest, but they could be spotted just as easily. Truthfully, the most dangerous parts of the desert were the ruins themselves, which were patrolled tightly by the mechanical guardians.
So it’s no surprise that their collective luck has them dealing with terrible weather, eremites, treasure hoarders, and mechanical guardians all at once. Paimon noticed the oncoming storm in the distance and Aether spotted the intermingled group of Eremites and treasure hoarders poking at a deactivated ruin guard. The two adventurers wanted to leave or teleport somewhere safer but the Wanderer refused, itching to fight and betting that they could handle the group before the storm reached them. And with a bet on the line, how could Aether refuse?
Their luck took a turn for the worse soon after, when their fight woke a group of deeply buried guardians and the ruin guard. Things went from bad to worse when the storm caught up to them faster than they assumed and Aether’s only instinct was to run , Wanderer cackingly wildly behind him while Paimon clung to his scarf and whined. Chaos was how Aether would like to describe the scene.
“Imagine a group of pissed off thugs chasing you, slower but stronger mechanical robots following behind with rockets and energy beams targeting your head, with a nasty little dust storm licking at your heels. Now imagine a screaming child in one ear and a deranged madman in the other- “D-deranged?!” “Child?!?!” “-and all you want to do is just teleport out of there.”
“Just because you want to run from a fight like the weakling you are-”
“Hush, the adults are talking now.”
“YOU-”
Aether would like to state for everyone present in his retelling (after listening to the Wanderer’s version and realizing he should have just done it from the beginning) that he wanted to leave the second he noticed things going from bad to worse. He had tried to call the Wanderer down but the bastard was having too much fun slicing the air and playing chicken with robots. So the only option was to run, and the only option was to run in the opposite direction of the sand storm. And it just so happened that when the Wanderer finally graced the two below with his presence so that Aether can teleport them all safely, the sand beneath their feet caved from under them and they fell into a ruin.
“It’s definitely not my first cave in, but I can say with confidence that my landing was phenomenal this time.”
“You landed on your feet but you face planted right after.”
“If someone didn’t fall on me instead of flying like he’s able to-”
“Keeping myself in the air takes strength and concentration and I was a little distracted when someone fell through a hole!!”
“if someone had just listened before that-”
Which leads to them finding the ruin that caused Aether’s current issue. Since the whole purpose of their trip into the desert was to investigate lost tombs, they had all agreed to stay and investigate further while they waited out the storm. It wasn’t any of the ones marked on Aether’s stone slate but curiosity was a beast and Aether never learned how to curb it. So they took a look around, wrote down or sketched out anything interesting to take back to Nahida, and even photographed a few murals Aether found interesting. It was when they made it to the last room that their luck turned again.
The door slammed closed behind them and two guardians rose to defend the room. They were quickly dealt with and the puzzle with the Embers was easily solved, but it was the chest the room had revealed like a consolation prize that was the problem. Aether and Paimon were used to scraps, trinkets, jewels, coins, and all sorts of miscellaneous items when they scavenged around, but this time when they opened the chest it was a single flower. The Wanderer had scoffed, used to their pathetic finds and uninterested, until it blasted Aether in the face with a purple mist.
“A purple mist? Given the marking I assumed it would be green.” Nahida interrupted with a tilt of her head. “Do you have a picture of this flower?”
“No, it wilted while I was coughing out a lung. And it looked more like a mushroom than a flower, kind of like the poisonous mushrooms, but it had yellow petals.”
Nahida paused, blinking at the traveler. “Can you…sketch out what it looks like? From your description…I don’t think I’ve ever seen a plant like that before.”
The Wanderer had laughed his ass off while Paimon fluttered around the travelers head as he coughed and tried to catch his breath. The mist was sour and bitter at the same time and it took everything in Aether not to also bring up his lunch when he was fighting for his life to just breathe. He didn’t feel anything weird during the five minutes it took to gather himself, or for the next ten minutes after too. He assumed the nausea was from the smell of the mist itself so it went ignored for the rest of their time there, at least until the Wanderer noticed something new on the walls before they left.
“You took a picture of that though, right?” Nahida pressed. Like he was performing a magic trick, Aether produced a photo of the runes.
Runes had appeared on the wall above them, glittering and light blue. They shimmered and glowed, and every other pretty word Paimon could think of. It was definitely eye catching and something they all agreed wasn’t there before. Aether felt the urge to touch them but both the Wanderer and Paimon pulled him back from the wall.
“What I wouldn’t give to have Cyno here with us.” Aether sighed, scratching at his stomach absently. Paimon dug into the bag on his hip and pulled out their kamera.
“We don't need Cyno to figure out what it says.” The Wanderer growled. “I know you’ve been learning-”
“Yeah but he’s fluent. It’ll take me a while to figure it out and I’m tired and sore because someone fell on me.”
“Stop whining and translate.” The Wanderer orders impassively. If Aether’s curiosity wasn’t already piqued he might have refused out of spite, but he at least put on a show of how irritated he was even as he got to work. He pulled out his journal and rune notes and tried to work as fast as possible. He really wasn’t lying about being sore.
“How many times are you going to complain about being sore?!”
“Until a certain someone apologizes!!”
He wasn’t lying when he said he’d love to have Cyno with them because he knows he translated it wrong. There were about five runes he didn’t know and three he’s sure he’s been constantly corrected on. But the general was busy with work and couldn't join them for this excursion today so the group was stuck with Aether’s subpar translation skills. Even Alhaitham would have been a better companion to have than Aether.
“So do you want the good news or bad news first?” Aether starts. Paimon is at least familiar with Aether’s dramatics but the Wanderer was still getting used to it. He demands the bad news first.
“It was a rhetorical question since I wasn't really giving you a choice.” Aether says. “Good news is that I think it's talking about my love life! Sumeru seems to be about the land of love rather than wisdom these days.”
He’s of course referencing little Nabiya’s fortune, and at least Paimon catches it since she starts to laugh. The Wanderer just continues to glare until Aether finally continues.
“I think it says that if I don't find my fated one, I’m going to die.”
For the first time since they’ve started traveling together, Aether had never seen the Wanderer go completely silent.
“Which leads us here. We wanted to see if you’ve ever heard of something like this- and to check my translation.”
Nahida read it so much faster than Aether ever could. “...you summarized it at least. I’ll put in a reminder to increase your lessons too.”
“Another attempt to make me a student.” Aether sighs. “It's not going to work.”
She ignores him with a smile. “It’s a riddle, so with your limited knowledge on runes you figured it out fairly well. Good job, have a head pat!”
It’s always hard to tell if she was being serious, especially when she gives a thumbs up or offers a head pat. He accepts both of them though, even going far as bending down so she can reach the top of his head.
“Wait, wait, that means there is a real chance he could die?!” The Wanderer cuts in angrily. Even Paimon starts to agree, zipping back and forth between the traveler and the Wanderer in worry.
“It translates to having to share, specifically, a true love's kiss to break the spell, or spend the last of your days in hell. I’m paraphrasing of course.” Nahida pauses, “But I do admit that I haven’t heard of any real curse like this before, outside of fairy tales or plays. If it was just the runes I wouldn’t take this seriously, but looking at your stomach-”
“Just like I thought. Now that the Dendro Archon has agreed with me, now will you take this seriously?” The Wanderer cuts in. He sends the traveler a scathing look but Aether only sighs. Paimon huffs and hits the blond with her tiny fists.
“Why are you like this!! This is your life on the line!” Paimon cries.
“It’s not, I’m sure of it. Besides the itching the mark caused I’m not feeling anything. If it’s something that’ll kill me wouldn’t it affect me in more ways?”
“Was that the only side effect of the mark? Nothing else? It didn’t react to your magic or nausea? Dizziness?” Nahida cut in before Paimon or the Wanderer could argue back.
“No,” The Wanderer answered. “Not that anyone saw. I only noticed the mark because the idiot kept scratching at his stomach and it was distracting. When I told him to stop-”
“You asked if I had fleas, not to stop scratching!!”
“-I noticed the green marking when he moved his hand. It hasn’t changed at all since. And he stopped scratching after.”
Nahida hummed and closed her eyes to give herself a moment to get her thoughts together for her verdict. “I think…we should take this ‘curse’ as real until we can get further answers. I can check with a few people on the curse while the traveler takes some time to find his…soulmate.”
Aether didn’t know how to tell them that he would not be doing that. From the Wanderer’s scoff, it seemed the puppet already knew Aether’s thoughts on this.
“You just love to be difficult don’t you? You have one easy job to do. Find the guy you like and kiss him.” The Wanderer snarked, crossing his arms. “I’ll even be helpful and get him for you.”
Paimon cackled as Aether sputtered, words failing and getting twisted as he tried to reply. Nahida just giggled into her hands and looked the other way when Aether tried to shoot her a betrayed look.
“That’s not- how did- who do you think I like- why do you think I like anyone actually!” Aether tries to argue.
“Oh please, I’ve seen how you act with so many of your friends . I’m not blind or stupid like you.” Wanderer says, “So which one huh? Who's the lucky guy who’ll kiss the princess and live happily ever after with you.”
“No one!” Aether sighs harshly. “I really don’t understand what you mean by ‘how I act’ with my friends. And you’ve met like, two , so I’m even more confused.”
“Paimon, do you want to help your poor charge here or should I?” The Wanderer sneers, “Because there is only so much stupidity I can handle.”
“Well true love probably won't be you .” Paimon tells the Wanderer with an unimpressed look. “And honestly I think it’s more that a lot of our friends have a crush on him then the other way around.”
“A lot of our friends are flirts, like Kaeya and Lisa, but I don’t really think they actually mean it in that way.” Aether argues.
“Iiiiii don’t know about thaaaaat,” Paimon giggles, “but we can probably cut out Lisa from the list of possibilities since she’s dating Jean.”
“Oh sure, let's do that. And also everyone else too because this whole situation is dumb.” Aether tries to reason.
“The only thing dumb about this is the fact that someone doesn't just want to go the easy way to save your own life .” The Wanderer growls, stalking up to Aether and forcing the other to take a few steps back. He followed after him though, poking at Aether’s chest aggressively. “Should I repeat that last part for your small little brain to understand?! Your life is on the line , and you're standing here without a care in the world!”
Aether let him stab his chest with his finger a couple times through the other’s argument before he smacked the Wanderer’s hand away. He tried to keep his voice even as he replied. “Getting called stupid is getting real old real fast. What’s dumb about this is the fact that I’m not in love with any of my friends. I’m close to a lot of them, I’d die for many of them, but not anything more serious. I don’t want to ruin any of these friendships because I played with their feelings.”
The Wanderer takes a step back and crosses his arms, “Pathetic reasoning, but a better excuse than anything else you've said so far. But still incorrect because I don’t care about your friends feelings when it’s your life that’s at stake right now.”
“My life isn’t at stake-”
“And because you want to be pathetic and a martyr, I’m going to make the decision for you and ask your friends myself. Give me a list of them and I’ll head out now.”
“You’re not getting a list from me,” Aether snarked back, folding his arms too.
Nahida and Paimon watched the two intently, eyes bouncing back and forth between the two as they argued, voices rising and hands swinging wildly in agitation. Neither tried to say anything while the two were so heated. They’ve learned from past experiences that it was just easier to let them exhaust each other before picking a side, and through loyalty and pettiness Paimon usually just goes with Aether. It was easier since she didn’t need to focus on the argument in the first place and usually Aether was correct anyways. The Wanderer just loved to be contrite and arguing was his favorite pastime.
This time however, when the argument was finally exhausted and Aether had simply thrown up his hands and stomped a few feet away to calm himself, Paimon did something she’d never done before. She sided with the Wanderer.
“Aether…I think I agree with him on this one.” Paimon started, twiddling her fingers and floating slightly behind Nahida. The traveler had never gotten truly angry with her so she wasn’t hiding in fear, but it was more to protect herself from Aether’s shattered look of betrayal.
“Don't be so dramatic,” The Wanderer cackled. “You know I’m right and even your little fairy agrees!”
Paimon stomped her foot and was sorely tempted to hit him. “I already regret agreeing with you!!”
He shrugs and keeps his eyes on the traveler. “So now that I’ve won, give me the list.”
“Just because I was betrayed doesn't mean you won, I’m still not writing you a list!” Aether scowled and ignored Paimons apology, “I’m not agreeing to any plan that’ll hurt my friends feelings!”
“Traveler,” Nahida finally interrupts, and everyone turns to look at her. “I understand your hesitance in asking your friends, but if the Wanderer promises to explain the whole situation to them, isn’t it alright to let them decide if they want to help?”
“Fine, fine, let me break their hearts! It’s no skin off your backs!” Aether relents with a throw of his hands, pissed off and tired. He knew the day was only half gone, but he was done with it completely. He was tired, sore, and now angry. He knows he’s not explaining himself properly, and he knows the three are concerned for him. But he wasn’t lying about not wanting to break his friend's heart. If he lets himself even entertain the idea of finding love, of finding someone to share such intimacy, how could he find the willpower to leave Teyvat?
It’s too much to think about right now, so he doesn't.
“I’m going to the teapot, you can find me there.” Aether states angrily. Before he can think of the teleport point however, the Wanderer grabs his wrist and distracts him.
“Wait, before you go-”
“I’m not writing you a list. If you want to go through with this plan, you have to put in all the work.” Aether scowls.
The Wanderer just rolls his eyes and pulls on Aether’s wrist with full force, surprising the blond and causing him to lose his balance. He falls against the Wanderer’s chest and the other’s arm wraps around his waist to keep him in place, stopping him from being able to pull back. It was too fast of an action to understand what was happening until it was too late, and it takes a moment for Aether to realize the intimate position they were in.
Nahida and Paimon looked on in shocked silence. For some reason Paimon feels her cheeks heating up.
“Before you go,” The Wanderer starts again, making sure Aether meets his eyes and smirking smugly. “How about we try a kiss first?”