Work Text:
Close you eyes. Count to ten. Breathe.
I can still hear that voice in my head. Telling me it will be alright.
Deep breaths. In and out. Slower. Breathe with me okay. Like this. Look at me. Im right here. Im not going anywhere.
But you arent there anymore. You left me. Left all of us. And it's all my fault. I can't do this without you.
I still remember that night vividly.
Someone shouted my name. 'Get out the way!' they screamed. I looked round and saw those piercing bright lights. Headlights. The last thing I'll ever see. 'No!' a faint voice echos in my ear. I feel a force in my side. 'Phone a god damn ambulance!' an accented voice shouts, recognisable, but everything is too hazy to tell who it belonged to.
I fee warm hands pull me to my feet, and a familiar female voice talking, but what she is saying, I don't know.
My vision blurred. A faint ringing in my ears got louder. Numb. Cold.
Them.
Nothing.
I woke up in hospital a day later in hospital surrounded by my friends and family.
Then they told me.
And my world collapsed.
We were supposed to grow old together. Have a family. A baby boy and a baby girl, that we would love until the end of time.
We were supposed to go grey in each others arms. Live long and happy lives, retire at a good age and have comfortable pensions, watching our children grow up, fall in love and have children of their own.
We were supposed to be together.
But now it's just me. No baby boy or girl. No growing old together. No more playing video games together until 3 am, and laughing till we cried over silly little things.
That was a year ago.
Nothing is the same.
I haven't laughed in months.
No more loud mouthed comments that make me giggle when I shouldnt.
No more you. No more me.
My sun is gone, took all the light and warmth away.
Nothing is the same.
I haven't left the house in weeks. I keep looking at your photos. You seemed so happy. I miss your smile.
Nothing is the same.
And it's all my fault.
I miss you so much.
Im so sorry.
I can't do this anymore.
You always told me to stay strong.
But I can't do that anymore.