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Everything was a blur nowadays. Practice, performance, recordings, shows, practice, fansigns, practice. The more Jay was expected to do the more he had blanked out as the days passed. It had gotten to the point that he felt like everyday, from the moment he woke up and fell back to sleep on his bed, his body was running on autopilot. And that he was watching himself from outside his body.
Jay was resting on a couch in God knows where, for God knows what. Sunoo handed him a bottle of water.
He grabbed it without thinking, the wet chillness startling him from his stupor. His body shook like his consciousness had just come back online and his head whirred around to find the culprit that awoke him.
Sunoo was standing in front of him. Despite towering over him due to Jay being the one sitting, his brain noted that Sunoo still looked incredibly small and petite beside him.
On a normal, alert day, Jay would naturally ask what Sunoo wanted from him. This was not that day. It was quicker to realise that Sunoo simply wanted his bottle of water opened.
Jay cracked it open with ease. He handed it back to Sunoo with his eyes already closing, body desperate to log back into his unconscious, resting state.
“Thank you, hyung-ie.”
Sunoo’s innocent voice instilled purpose into Jay’s eyes as they reopened seemingly against his conscious will.
He wasn’t ashamed to admit that Sunoo’s nature pulled his heartstrings. It took only so much as a slight frown or a small whine from Sunoo for Jay to fulfil all of the younger’s wants without much thought. He recognised this and had accepted it long ago.
Nevertheless, it was always a bit overwhelming to witness Sunoo’s signature blinding smile and feel the booming back flips occurring in his heart whenever it was directed at him.
Jay also wasn’t afraid to admit to himself that Sunoo’s cheeriness made it easy for him to stay awake and conscious.
No, he wasn’t afraid.
That was, until he was faced with the sight of Sunoo drinking water in front of him.
From the way he opened his plump lips, which gave way to only a small opening, to the way the water fell into his mouth. And a little bit out of it. How it stuck on the corner of his lips. And dripped a little down his jaw. His throat moved in slow motion.
When Sunoo was done, he twisted the cap back onto the bottle and gave a small (so insanely small and cute) smile, and his eyes waned into crescents.
God.
“Hyung-ie?”
Jay sat up, like a soldier called to action.
“Y-Yes?” Jay’s eyes also stuttered. He peered up towards Sunoo timidly.
Timidly.
That had to be a first for Jay.
“Do you want the rest of my water?” Sunoo murmured. Softly. Sweetly.
Stop. Stop. Think.
“Will you not be thirsty later?” Jay finally rasped out. He forced his eyes down, for the sake of his own sanity.
“No, I don’t think I can drink it all. I don’t want to pee later.” He reached out with his hand holding the bottle.
It was too easy for Jay to imagine how cute (and small, and petite) Sunoo looked, trying to stretch his arm out towards him.
He gulped, internally panicking from the sudden intrusive urge to tackle Sunoo onto the couch with him and hug him to death.
“Okay.” He supplied eventually.
Jay almost collapsed when his fingers grazed Sunoo’s while trying to retrieve the bottle from him.
—
Despite how embarrassing his body’s reaction was towards Sunoo’s… drinking performance, he knew the constant work of being an idol would always find its way to numb him from every day feeling.
Everything became normal sooner or later. And Jay was able to act ordinarily around Sunoo. It also helped that the younger boy hadn’t even realised anything was wrong in the first place.
They were buddy-buddy during livestreams. They were Tom-and-Jerry-like during variety show filming. The group was expectedly as synchronised as ever during performances.
So, why did Sunoo have to ruin everything yet again by specifically coming into his room to ask for his bottle to be opened?
“Hyung-ah.”
His lower abdomen clenched, heat pooling in places that were begging Sunoo to repeat the endearment again.
He mustered all his mental and physical strength to fight back a whimper that was threatening to escape his lips.
“No hyung-ie?” He blurted out instead.
God fucking dammit.
A beat, before Sunoo uttered, “What did you say, hyung?”
Oh, right. Thank God, his face had been smushed into his pillow the entire time.
Jay delicately flipped himself right back around on his bed and stared at the ceiling.
Minutes had gone by without Jay answering his question and Sunoo had no idea why he even waited that long for anything to happen.
Sunoo wanted to curse the awful silence actually. Because it allowed for the thought that Jay may possibly be pissed at him to creep into his mind.
Sunoo shook in nervousness. He wasn’t exactly scared of Jay. But for him to be this pissed at him to subject him to such silence without reason caused Sunoo to fumble his next words. Which were barely any.
“H-H-Hyung. I-“ The bottle of water crinkled under his grip, adding itself to Sunoo’s quickly growing curse list.
Jay sat up promptly.
“Give it to me.” He said without so much as looking.
Sunoo handed it over before Jay was able to even reach his hand out.
He cracked it open with ease yet again, hastily handed it back over to Sunoo and plopped himself back onto his bed, eyes closed.
Sunoo’s lower lip trembled. He ran dramatically out the door.
—
Water. Drink water. Water drink. Regret.
Why didn’t Jay stay sitting up in his bed that day to be graced with a scene of Sunoo drinking water again?
Jay tapped his feet against the floor in an impatient manner. The tapping was so annoyingly repetitive that even Jake threw a glance towards his direction out of concern.
They were resting in their waiting room like always. Everyone was sitting and lying all over the place in the room to rest. Everyone except Sunoo.
Where was he?
Jay frantically scratched his head in the midst of his tapping. Jake grabbed lightly onto his arm.
“What’s wrong with you?” He asked accusingly.
Jay resorted to ruffling his hair instead to rid himself of Jake’s touch. He only wanted one person to touch him after all.
If he could go back, he would do anything to get Sunoo to stay and drink his water right there in front of him. He would beg for him on his knees.
Because how was he supposed to know that would be the last time Sunoo ever asked him to open his bottle of water again?
After that day, Jay waited for him every day. He stared at him constantly. He was sure there had been an exponential increase in fan shipping videos of the both of them because Jay wouldn’t stop staring. And Sunoo didn’t complain one bit over his behaviour.
But he had to have known. He had to. Sunoo was blatantly ignoring him. He knew as much. He must like Jay’s silent pleading. Somewhere deep and dark and twisted in Sunoo’s heart, he must enjoy Jay’s desperation.
No. You can’t say that, no.
Jay was going insane. He had done the most awful thing. Spiralling into accusing his loving member of terrible intentions.
No, he pleaded with himself.
Both Sunoo and Sunghoon walked into the room before Jay’s mind could will itself into a deeper pit.
Jay stood up so suddenly that the force of his body pushed the couch backwards, making a chalkboard like noise against the floor. Everyone’s eyes found its way towards Jay’s figure.
All except Sunghoon as he continued talking to Sunoo, blissfully unaware of Jay’s state.
Sunoo’s eyes darted back and forth, desperately trying to convey the tone of the atmosphere through his eyes to Sunghoon.
Jay walked over decidedly.
He was already standing in front of the both of them before Sunoo was able to inhale another breath in the room.
His eyes lazered onto the water bottle in Sunghoon’s grip.
Sunghoon glanced at Jay and quickly realised.
“Oh!” He uttered, so unaware of Jay’s mood that it was almost comical. He attempted to hand the bottle over to Sunoo, “There you go.”
Jay blinked and snatched the bottle out of Sunghoon’s hand.
His fingers twisted at the cap.
Fuck, it was already open.
His fingers twisted it back and forth until he twisted it open again. Although when he did so, Jay became unsure of his actions.
He hesitantly stretched the hand that was holding the opened bottle to Sunoo. “Here you go. I opened it for you.” He basically whispered.
Sunghoon cocked his eyebrow upward, now just detecting the weirdness of the situation.
Sunoo’s whole body became rigid at Jay’s attention being directed only to him. His eyes wavered and his eyebrows furrowed, overwhelmed over Jay’s actions.
He pouted, “Hyung-ah.”
“Yes?” Jay stepped even closer towards Sunoo.
Sunoo reddened at the height difference that was emphasised between them now. It wasn’t usually that humiliating to be considered short when compared to Jay but when everyone was so pointedly staring at the both of them, it felt more embarrassing than ever.
“Thank you, hyung.” Sunoo stared down at his shoes.
“Hyung?” Jay repeated.
Sunoo’s breath stuttered.
“Hyung-ie.” The younger boy mumbled.
Jay held his breath. More pleased than words can describe at Sunoo’s obedience.
“Hang on. Didn’t I open that bottle of water already?” Sunghoon had to open his mouth.
—
“Are you thirsty?” Jay ran over to Sunoo who was sitting and resting from their just finished performance.
“You must be thirsty.” Jay added needlessly.
“Oh! Oh… A little bit.” Sunoo couldn’t bring himself to look back into Jay’s eyes for the life of him.
“Here.” Jay cracked open what felt like the millionth bottle of water for him. “Here you go.”
Sunoo accepted the bottle with shaking hands, “Th-Thank you.”
Jay sat next to him, waiting expectantly.
It was embarrassing, but it was more embarrassing how much Sunoo liked his approval.
“H-Hyung-ah.” He finally was able to utter, albeit softly, face beet-red.
Jay practically sighed from the high he got hearing his cute Sunoo address him so sweetly.
Jay continued waiting for more, eyes locked onto Sunoo’s own.
Sunoo blinked frantically, “Do- Do you have to watch me drink, hyung?” He basically squeaked.
Seeing Jay’s face so quickly contort into panic and witnessing a pout (a pout!) almost form on his lips, geared Sunoo into action as he tried to drink the water as normally as possible under Jay’s stare.
When he opened his eyes to face Jay again, he hadn’t the faintest clue how the older boy just didn’t take him right then and there.