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Hope waves at the pair until they’re out of sight. She’s not blind, she can see the looks they’re giving each other. It’s clear they’re dancing around the attraction that is still very much there, and she’s still kicking herself for turning up earlier at their home and interrupting the moment that they had obviously been having. She’s also going to kick Lyall for interrupting their moment earlier because he couldn’t wait a few minutes for a cake when it had been clear that the boys needed time to push past the dancing, past the uncertainty and back into their relationship.
Years ago, she had been glad that Remus hadn’t completed his bond with Sirius. Only because losing Sirius to Azkaban would have hurt them both so much more if the marking had actually happened. It could have destroyed her son to lose Sirius if Sirius bore Remus’ mark. And of course, it’d have hurt Sirius a hell of a lot more too. Because Sirius’ well-being has always mattered to her. Ever since the first time he had come to the house. The first time she had hugged the boy and realised that he hadn’t known how to hug her back.
Sirius isn’t her child by blood, but she loves him like he is, ever since that first day. Even if he hadn’t been bonded to Remus, he’d still be her child. She loved James too, another son, but one that didn’t need a mother because his mother was so very lovely. She loves Harry, despite only a handful of visits before he went into hiding as a baby, and she often wonders how he is. She remembers that little baby that would stare up at her with vivid green eyes, not the whispers of the boy that everyone encounters, or the talk of the saviour. No. He’s just a boy with the weight of the world on his shoulders and she just wants him to come home too.
No one was allowed to visit him. A cruel rule put in place that Hope has always disagreed with. But she has no say in the choice, she’s not Harry’s family and she doesn’t get a say.
She’d also loved…
Her smile fades at the thought of Peter. She always had had a bit of a soft spot for Peter, he was a part of her family too. One of her boys. With James and Sirius as loud and boisterous as they had been, and with Sirius and Remus being mates (even if they had been unaware of their bond at the time), Peter had gotten overlooked. Not intentionally, of course. Remus would always notice and pull Peter back into the group and the activities. But Hope had always made sure to check on him and make sure that he had been fine. She had taught him to bake, how to cook…
She loved all four of her boys.
She sighs, pushing the memories away, because today has been a happy day and she doesn’t want to mourn over what her precious Peter did. She’s hardened her heart against Peter now. Her focus is on the family that’s with them. She knows it won’t be long before another chair is set at the table for Harry, because she knows her boys. She knows Harry will be with them before long.
“Great dinner, nice to see Sirius again,” Lyall comments, passing her and closing the door. “He’s looking well… considering.”
Hope nods her head. He’s still too skinny. But he looked better today than he did when she saw him at the cottage the other day. Time will heal, she knows. When they finally bond, the book says that the pair would feel complete, and she’s relying on that to help heal some of the internal pain. The rest… well, she can see the way that her son looks at Sirius. Like he’d do anything to make Sirius happy. Sirius has the same look in his eyes and she knows that they can heal with each other.
“It’s nice that Remus has a friend again,” Lyall adds, slipping an arm around Hope and leading her away from the door, clearly unaware of her musings.
Hope just nods again and bites her lip, searching for the right words. ‘Friend’ definitely doesn’t describe the nature of their relationship — the pair are obviously enamoured with each other, bond or no bond — but she doesn’t know how to tell Lyall.
“Nice,” she echoes softly. “I’m glad to see that they’re so…close again. For a while, I thought…”
Lyall makes a noncommittal noise, and Hope leans into him. Even after many years of marriage, he’d never stopped bringing her comfort with his mere presence — though he could be a bit thick sometimes.
“I know,” Lyall murmurs. “Sirius is a bit…rough around the edges, especially after all those years in Azkaban. Azkaban can drive a man mad, but Sirius has hung on. And Remus…I hate what he’s had to endure, tortured by loneliness. They’ve both been through so much. But I think that now that they have each other, they’ll be able to ease their burdens.”
Hope’s heart swells affectionately and she looks up at her husband, only to find he’s already looking at her. She’d always hoped that Remus would find a bond as strong as hers and Lyall’s, and now he has a chance. Again. Not many people could say that.
Speaking of which…
Reluctantly but purposefully, she pulls away from Lyall and meets his eyes resolutely. Her husband looks momentarily confused.
“Why did you interrupt them?” she demands without preamble, and Lyall looks taken aback.
“Interrupt…? What’re you on ab—”
“My sons,” Hope says, crossing her arms, all reservations about her sons dashed and replaced by irritation. “They were — they were going to — if you hadn’t —”
“Hope, sweetheart, are you okay?” Lyall interjects, because that’s all he’s good for. But he sounds genuinely concerned, and her anger recedes, leaving resignation in its wake.
“I’m fine,” she says, sighing, and Lyall looks even more bewildered.
“Are you sure? That came on so suddenly.” He peers at her, taking a step closer. “You’re all flushed.”
“I’m fine, ” she insists, a little more sharply than she intends. “Let’s just…have some cake.”
Lyall follows her with that same befuddled expression as she goes to get the cake, and she has to withhold another sigh.
She loves Lyall, but sometimes, he just needs a little knock on the head.