Chapter Text
The quiet sobs of fear and dismay shook out of Taehyung’s chest as he sat on the edge of the bathtub, his head lowered and resting against his arms, holding out the positive pregnancy test as he cried. He felt like he was violently taken out of a happy dream and slammed back into reality with harsh consequences to his deep slumber. He felt suffocated. He felt like the world came crashing down on him all of a sudden, knocking the happiness out of him.
It wasn’t supposed to happen. He was not supposed to get pregnant. They used protection, and they made sure they were always protected but Taehyung got to be one of those unlucky people that the protection didn’t work for them. He had to be doomed for the rest of his life for such a mistake. He couldn’t help the loud broken sobs that started coming out of him as his body shook with despair.
He didn’t know what to do. Tell Jungkook? He can’t. He knew that Jungkook hated kids, and he knew that he never planned on having kids ever then how would he react? Taehyung was scared to death. The last thing he ever wanted to do was bring an unwanted child to this world where its parents don’t love it.
Before Taehyung could let his thoughts wander anymore, the bathroom door opened slowly a head peeking in with a worried frown etched on his face. Jungkook’s eyes widened once he realised the state Taehyung was in, rushing to his side immediately.
“Baby..what’s wrong?” He asked worriedly, his hands swiftly reaching over to cup his face, raising his face and trying to meet his eyes that Taehyung kept averting away.
“Baby, tell me what’s wrong, please. Why are you crying hm? What happened, love?”
Jungkook was too busy trying to comfort Taehyung that he didn’t notice he was holding out the pregnancy test and as Jungkook’s eyes searched around the room for a clue, he noticed what Taehyung was clutching tightly with both of his hands.
Confused, he reached for the test and took it out of Taehyung’s grasp to take a good look at it.
Silence.
The silence was too loud. Defeaning.
It slowly suffocated the omega before he looked up to see the person to whom that child belonged to. He looked up and his heart immediately shattered in his chest when he saw the look of disdain and scorn Jungkook was giving the test.
His hand fell from the omega’s face as he pulled his whole body away, standing up on his two feet as he kept his eyes glued to the stick he held in his hands and walked out of the bathroom. Taehyung’s tears welled up again in his eyes as he hesitantly got up and followed behind as they both walked into their living room. One of them paced back and forth deep in thought and an obvious frown etched onto his face while the other one followed him like a lost puppy, calling out his name.
“Jungkook..”
He called out, voice broken and silent tears running down his face making Jungkook stop in his tracks, taking deep breaths in.
“Abort it.”
“What?”
Taehyung’s heart stopped for a second, his eyes widening as he looked at his boyfriend in disbelief.
“We can’t do this. I can’t do this. Abort it.”
The alpha’s voice sounded more stern, not anything like the soft voice he used when he was checking up on his crying omega. It made the omega’s heart constrict painfully in his chest.
“Are you telling me to kill our pup?”
“Don’t call it that!”
Jungkook finally turned to look at him, his own eyes tearing up but never enough to let the tears fall, he clenched his jaw as he took another breath to calm down.
“We’re not- we’re not killing it. It’s not a baby yet. It’s not anything. It’s just a fetus. We can still get rid of it, Tae. Please. I can’t do this.”
“Jungkook, I can’t. I can’t abort it.”
Taehyung argued, his eyes red from crying but his tears wouldn’t stop running down his cheeks as he let himself sit on the couch, folding over as he cried into his hands. Jungkook closed his eyes, letting his tears finally fall before walking over to the omega and kneeling in front of him, reaching out to hold his arms.
“Tae, you know that I don’t like kids. They’re loud, expensive and stressful. Kids are a huge responsibility that we are not ready for. I can’t- I refuse to take on this responsibility so early, especially if I didn’t want it in the first place. I’m begging you.”
Jungkook pleaded, his eyes filled with tears as he looked up at his omega desperately who finally took his head out of his hands to look at the alpha with hurt written all over his face as he shook his head in denial, leaning in closer into his boyfriend’s arms for comfort.
“How can we do this, Tae? I’m just a chef that barely makes enough for the both of us, your job at your boutique helps us manage a little more comfortably but that’s it, we make enough for only the both of us, we can’t afford to have a child. Please think this through, you have to abort this pregnancy as soon as possible.”
-
“I’ll wait for you here.”
The ravenette murmured, his hands gripping the wheel tightly as he looked down, not meeting his boyfriend’s eyes that held many emotions in them, including disbelief and betrayal.
“Are you not going to go in with me?”
“No. I- I don’t want to be there while it happens. I hate blood, and I hate that-”
“That we’re killing our pup.”
“For God’s sake! Stop saying that. We’re not killing. It’s not a baby. It is not our pup, Taehyung. It’s something in your body that we have to stop from growing any further. For our sake.”
After finding out about the pregnancy, Taehyung didn’t talk much. He couldn’t utter any words as he thought of all the possibilities of his pregnancy. Jungkook on the other hand kept going on and on about how he doesn’t want to be a father and how he doesn’t want kids. He kept reminding Taehyung that they sacrificed a lot to move in together including their savings to rent out their house, how the omega is in his last year in fashion school and a baby would complicate a lot of things for him. Including Taehyung’s job at the boutique. If Taehyung stops going to work for a while for the baby, their financial status will solely depend on Jungkook and Jungkook is just a chef in a restaurant. They need to pay their rent, their bills and their needs. A baby just wouldn’t fit in.
Taehyung was convinced, he knew Jungkook’s argument was completely valid and the next morning they called up a doctor and didn’t waste any time hopping into Jungkook’s car to leave immediately. The ride was quiet and every minute that passed by made the lump in Taehyung’s throat grow larger, his eyes filling up with tears that he tried to push back the whole time. He thought Jungkook would be there for him, support him mentally or just hold his hand but Jungkook chose to stay behind and let him do it on his own.
Taehyung, without another word, got out of the car, slamming the door behind him before gulping and taking heavy steps into the clinic.
“Kim Taehyung.”
A nurse called after a few minutes of waiting. Taehyung felt like he would pass out any minute, he was feeling a lot of emotions and it made it hard to breathe. Guilt, fear, sorrow, anxiety and no one by his side to comfort him. The one who should be doing that is sitting back in his car waiting for him to come back with his problem solved and done, leaving him on his own.
“Hello! Kim Taehyung?”
The doctor smiled widely, walking towards Taehyung with kind eyes and welcoming hands reaching out for him to shake and it made Taehyung feel more at ease, and calmer as seconds passed by while he reached out to shake the doctor’s hand. He can tell the doctor was releasing calming pheromones for him. He must’ve made the room smell too sour.
“Hello, I’m here for an abortion.”
The doctor’s smile faltered and it turned into a sad smile instead before he ushered him to the patient's seat to lie down, and with a heavy heart, Taehyung did.
“I need to see how far you are first so we’ll do an ultrasound, is that okay?”
It wasn’t okay. Taehyung didn’t want to see the baby. He felt tears well up in his eyes once again before blinking them away while nodding his head, giving the doctor permission. As the doctor applied gel to his bare stomach, he felt his heart beat loudly in his chest when the doctor told him to look at the screen. He didn’t want to.
“When did your heats stop coming?”
“Last time I had it was in more than a month. That’s why I took the test.”
“Your baby is six weeks old judging by the timing of your heart and the fact that I can barely see them. They’re not too obvious but they’re there, can you see? They’re here on the left.”
The doctor pointed at a small dot on the left and Taehyung felt all the tears he had been trying to keep down the whole time rushing down his face as he stared at the fetus. The pup is so small- too small. So fragile and in need of him. Taehyung’s hand went up to touch his stomach, right next to the doctor’s hand and caressed his skin gently while his eyes stayed glued on his pup. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t.
It felt so wrong to get rid of it. His heart swelled with love for the fetus and he couldn’t help but sob.
-
“Are you okay?”
Jungkook asked gently once Taehyung got back in the car while looking pale and tired. He looked sick and Jungkook felt bad for putting him through it all. Taehyung nodded, answering his question.
“Let’s go home, I’m sure you’re tired after the procedure. You should rest.”
The sound of passing cars was all sound that could be heard while Jungkook started his car and Taehyung’s lack of response was worrying him. He opened his mouth to say something before Taehyung suddenly blurted out an answer.
“I didn’t do it. I didn’t get the abortion.”
Jungkook’s face paled in shock as he turned to stare at his boyfriend who held a hard, determined expression on his face. His train of thought stopped and his mind was a blank space for a few minutes, having trouble comprehending what Taehyung just said.
“W-what? What do you mean?”
“I’m not aborting my child. I just can’t. I had an ultrasound and I saw them,” his voice cracked, silent tears falling down his cheeks, “I saw my pup and I don’t want to give up on them. They’re just- they’re mine.” his hands moved to rest on his stomach, hugging himself tightly as he caressed the area, imagining himself caressing his pup as well.
“How can you be so selfish?! This is my life too that you’re playing with! I did not consent to bring a child that is mine into this world! What the fuck, Taehyung!” Jungkook suddenly screamed, his eyebrows furrowed in anger as he slammed his fists against the steering wheel, a breath escaping his lips, trying to breathe the frustrations out of his system. Taehyung flinched and tightened his arms around his stomach, a protective instinct.
“This child isn’t only yours!”
“I don’t want it!”
“But I do! This is my pup too and I want it!”
Jungkook’s jaw ticked as he glared at his boyfriend. He did not want a child, it’s a responsibility that he over and over again said he was not ready for. He felt like Taehyung was intentionally roping him down to that child and he felt suffocated and his frustrations were building up second by second. He couldn’t sleep a wink the night before, his mind going feral over the fact that Taehyung was pregnant. He couldn’t stop thinking about it, he feared the impact of this on his life.
He can make more than one list of why kids are just an inconvenience, stressful and affect mental health. He can go on and on about how much he despises kids and wishes of none of his own. He didn’t want to be responsible for a whole other human being, he didn’t want to wake up one day and look at how mentally unstable his child is because of him. Jungkook doesn’t want to hear his son blame him one day for the way he turned out. He doesn’t want to take responsibility for that. He found it unfair how Taehyung is forcing it on him, destroying his life like that.
“Taehyung, I love you. I want to”
“No you don’t. You do not love me.”
Taehyung spat angrily, sitting up properly to glare at the alpha with disappointment clear in his eyes while the alpha’s eyes flashed with confusion, a frown settling on his face.
“Yes, I do. I-”
“No. You let me go in there alone. You called me selfish but aren’t you the selfish one between us? You don’t want this child, I get it! But you didn’t even think about how I felt, you don’t care about how I feel. Did you sit down and let me tell you how I felt about this whole thing? The first thing that should’ve left your mouth seeing me cry with a pregnancy test in my hand is to ask me how I felt not storming out of the bathroom and then barking an order in my face to abort the pregnancy!”
“You kept talking about why I shouldn’t keep it, why it will ruin your life and how much it will be an inconvenience to you. Where am I? I love kids, Jungkook. I love them so much. You know that I have always wanted my kids, I will work hard to provide for my pup, and I won’t let them ever feel uncared for. I’ll do my best for them and I won’t complain. Did you know this? Of course not. You only kept talking about yourself, refusing to even give me the chance to tell you what I feel.”
“I don’t want this responsibility! Why are you forcing it on me? Why can’t you just understand that I don’t fucking want this kid!”
Taehyung blinked away his tears as the alpha yelled, startling him once again. It’s the first time Taehyung felt threatened by the alpha, he has always felt safe in his presence, in his arms but somehow, he feels unsafe. He hates the small space of the car that is trapping him in with the alpha. He doesn’t know if this is their relationship falling apart or if he feels the hatred the alpha has for his child and therefore wants to protect it as an instinct. Either way, he wants to go. Far away from Jungkook.
“The moment you let me go into that clinic without being there to support me, hold my hand and reassure me, is the moment I realised how little I mean to you. You don’t love me, Jungkook. You got used to me.” The omega gulped as he struggled to talk without his voice cracking before he turned to face the alpha he fell in love with.
“I don’t need you to have anything to do with this kid. I won’t ask you to take responsibility, I won’t ask for child support and I won’t ask you to be there for my baby. From now on, it’s just my baby. Not yours. You have nothing to do with them.”
“So you’re breaking up with me?”
Jungkook breathed out his words, his tone laced with hurt and disbelief as his gaze softened into sadness instead, grief. His then-glaring eyes turned into those of despair, his heart beating uncontrollably in his chest as he awaited the answer, part of him not wanting to hear it. He suddenly does not care about the kid, the abortion, about whatever he had to say about the whole pregnancy. All his focus was shifted to his heart that is on the verge of breaking.
“We’re over Jungkook. I’m freeing you of the responsibility you so desperately do not want. My pup and I, we’re a package. If you don’t want them, you don’t want me either. I was ready to abort the pregnancy for you, but you showed me that I shouldn’t do such a thing for you when you didn’t deserve it. You don’t deserve to sleep light-hearted while I live with the pain of killing my child.”
“Taehyung-” a rigid breath escaped Jungkook’s lips as he let himself shamelessly sob, his lips turning a deep red from repeatedly biting on them, trying to stop himself from crying. “I didn’t- I don’t…I don’t want to break up with you, I love you..”
“Not enough. I wanted to marry you, I have been thinking about it so much recently, I thought you were truly the one for me but..”
“I’m glad I didn’t marry you.”
Not many things visibly managed to hurt Jungkook. He had a tough childhood growing up, and it was partially the reason why Jungkook grew up into a cold person. Jungkook was not as complicated as people like to paint him. On the outside, he was cold, numb and unmoved but on the inside, he had a bonfire that warmed up his heart. The bonfire Jungkook held within kept his heart young, warm, vulnerable and kind but the facade he kept on was a shield to protect himself, he didn’t want to ever show that vulnerable side of him, the side he spent his whole life protecting.
Jungkook could be hurting on the inside, his heart breaking piece by piece falling into the bonfire that is within him and burning yet Jungkook would never show it. He learned his lesson back when he was 7 years old and he would never let his weakness show to anyone. Except for Taehyung.
Jungkook and Taehyung met coincidentally. Jungkook calls it the best coincidence in his life, Taehyung blushes and swats at the alpha as he shakes his head calling him unnecessarily cheesy.
Jungkook’s childhood was dark, and disturbing for a little kid, but nothing was completely black. He did have some white in his life for balance and that was Min Yoongi. An alpha Jungkook takes pride in knowing him. Yoongi grew up to be the COO of MYG entertainment, a big company that trains idols and dancers under their name, working directly under his father Min Hyun-Jae. Jungkook met Yoongi as a child, he was his safe haven for a long time. Hyun-Jae took Jungkook in as his own son, always welcoming him into his home when things got too much back in his parents’ house.
Yoongi’s father let his son take a tour around his company back when they were teenagers, the younger alpha walked around with wide eyes, letting out quiet “woahs” as he followed the elder until both of them walked into the trainee's practice room and Yoongi laid eyes on a pretty omega that was elegantly dancing and stretching his limbs every time he’d mess up a step before giving it another go.
Eight years passed too quickly, as the young alpha says before bothYoongi and Jimin decided to get married. It was at the wedding that Jungkook met Taehyung for the first time. Jimin’s best friend who was out in Europe for several years, came back to South Korea to finally settle before pursuing fashion and getting into fashion school for two years before the wedding.
Jungkook was pulled towards the omega like a magnet, getting confidence out of nowhere to pursue the pretty man and start spitting silly pick-up lines and flirting his way to his heart, a smile never leaving his face the whole time he got to know the omega. For the young alpha, eight years passed too fast but the 3 weeks he got to know the omega felt like years, his heart pounding in his chest in excitement and bursting with an overwhelming feeling whenever he laid eyes on him. He couldn’t help but sheepishly ask Taehyung to move in with him, bombarding him with all of the reasons why they should move in together, be together. Taehyung did hesitate at first but looking at his young alpha, he couldn’t help but give in. Moving in together did have its pros and cons, but seeing the kind eyes of Jungkook every morning outweighed all the cons he could think of. He was silly and falling in love too.
After graduating, Jungkook pursued cooking as a job. He wanted to do what he did best and it was his passion for cooking that bloomed the ambition of owning his own restaurant. It was why Jungkook started saving up, working two part-time jobs as a chef in two different restaurants to one day achieve his dream.
Moving in with Taehyung, he had to spend all of his savings on the upfront rent payment. They both liked the house and how breathy and big it was despite being expensive and in their rush, Jungkook paid without any hesitation. It was awkward at first, each one had his own room as Taehyung strictly demanded. Gradually, they got closer, slowly falling in love.
For a year, both of them lived together in a sweet haven. It felt like a really long honeymoon as they both woke up to each other every single day, smiles on their faces as they leaned in for a morning kiss to start off their day. Jungkook never really regretted his decision to spend all of his savings on a house to share with Taehyung, the thought never crossed his mind, but as Taehyung told him he was glad he didn’t marry him, he thought of how he shouldn’t have done that after all. He shouldn’t have moved in with Taehyung after all. He gave up his hard work to pursue a happy life with Taehyung and while he was working hard to save up again, Taehyung once again came to kill his dreams and ambitions, roping him into the responsibility of a child that he never asked for, a child he didn’t want.