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1. Bon Chan
21 minutes before they go on air and start drafting.
No, wait. Bon checks his phone. 19 minutes. And he’s lost. He needs to get to the player room ASAP and why the fuck are there so many people in the backstage. He doesn’t have the time for this.
It’s the grand finals. M7. Their retribution. The last best of seven before they can reclaim the elusive crown. Maybe, just maybe, after all of this, he can finally consider that Indo offer. Maybe spend time with his family. Go on that long ride he has been planning for the past three years.
But these are all thoughts for the future. Approximately three hours from now. Who knows. One tight game with the Argentinian team lasted almost 30 minutes.
And if Myanmar manages to get its hand on that pesky Kaja, he will not have any Indonesian offer to consider. He shakes his head. It’s not the time for that.
He is about to turn left when someone steps in front of him.
“Coach.”
Bon stops on his track. “Oh nawawala ka rin? Tangina kasi ang laki nitong venue. Late na tayo.”
“Ah, oo nga, Coach. Pero teka, may sasabihin lang ako.” Wise starts, his eyes not meeting Bon’s.
Bon tries to hide his grimace. If this is about Wise wanting to use Grock –
“Hindi to about the game or drafting, Coach. Pero –”
Wise pauses and visibly breathes out. Bon blinks and finally considers the Wise before.
He’s grown over the years. No longer the 21-year-old kid with luggage full of worst-kept insecurities that he welcomed to their team five years ago. He lost some of the baby fat and has become more comfortable with his skin and height. He confidently towers over Bon Chan, no longer hunching trying to hide behind others.
He looks older; carrying himself with that earned pride as a respected veteran. However, the overwhelming hunger is still there. The years of their failed attempt to reclaim the M series crown have both continued to drive them to near madness and at the same time have changed their ego perhaps for the better.
“Okay.” Bon gestures to the hallway. “Pwede ba natin pagusapan habang naglalakad? Kasi malapit na mag start yung game –
“Coach, pag nanalo tayo mamaya magpro-propose ako kay Vee.”
Bon Chan, the Head Coach of arguably the most decorated MLBB team of all time, almost drops his phone. “Ha?”
He pulls Wise to the side of the crowded hallway, narrowly avoiding a group of people passing by. “Ano? Paulit?”
Wise finally breaks into a small, evil conniving smile that was reminiscent of when he was younger. Wise pulls a small box from his pocket. It was small and red.
“Seryoso ba to?"
“Oo, Coach. Kaya kelangan manalo.” He beams, his face guilelessly bright. “Kaya ayun, sino kaya pwede makausap sa production para makasingit ako sa interview sa stage.”
Bon is just standing there, absorbing all the information.
“Magpro-propose ka sa stage?”
Wise nods.
“Sure ka ba jan? Mag ye-yes ba si Vee? Baka mag walk out yun. Ayaw nun ng attention.”
“Eh di may pang content yung mga tao.” Wise replies easily, like he has long since considered that as a possible outcome.
“Gago.” Bon finally laughs. Jesus. Propose? Who is this guy before him?
“Tangina mo, Wise.”
“Coach naman. Namura pa ako. Di na lang sabihin good luck.”
“Oo, good luck. Good luck. Pero bago ka maka propose, kelangan muna natin manalo.”
“Oo naman.” Wise playfully punches him in the chest. “Lalaban tayo, Coach. Daming nakasalalay.”
Bon is about to reply when he spies a blue-haired guy about to pass them.
“Oh, siya. Well, sa tanong about the production wala akong kakilala pero,” Bon grabs Tryke by his arm. “Eto kausapin mo. Baka mabulungan niya sila Mara or yung staff.”
Tryke blinks at them. “Uy.” Pause. “Bakit andito pa kayo?”
Bon pats him on the shoulder, “Eto na boss, papunta na. Pero may favor daw tong paborito mo sayo.”
Tryke throws Wise a confused look.
“Wise, bilisan mo. Late na tayo. Sumunod ka na agad ah.”
“Oo, Coach. Chill ka lang. I got this.”
Bon elbows Wise before leaving the two of them. He looks at his phone. 16 minutes. Putangina.
2. Tryke
Tryke stares at the ring inside the box. At a distance, he can hear the live audience practicing the cheers of the two teams.
“Nagpa-alam ka na ba sa mama niya? Sa Papa niya?”
Wise rubs his neck, smiling. “Boss, naman. Si Tita at Ate Jorie pa namili niyang singsing.”
“Ah okay, okay. I was just asking. Pero,” A beat. “Wow.”
“Oh di ba, tinulungan ko pa Marketing ng Black. Daming pang content.”
Tryke hits him. “Wise, no. Pero – ” Tryke then instinctively bites down a finger, thinking. “Tangina oo nga. Sana sinabi mo eh di sana nakapag coordinate kami ng graphics or something.”
“Hala, boss. Wala ng ganun ganun. 50-50 pa rin chance na mag walk out si Vee. Actually di pa nga natin alam kung mananalo tayo.”
Right, the championship. Their fourth showing in the M series. Third grand finals. A lot of things are riding on the result of this championship match. Trades. Sponsorships. Retirement. Fuck.
“Tiwala ako sainyo, Wise.”
Five years since he gambled on this duo. It was arguably the best business decision he has ever made and honestly the only thing he can do at this point is to trust them. Trust that they will do the best they can in today’s game. And trust that Wise knows what he is doing and that this will not be a publicity hell.
“Salamat, Boss. Paano, ikaw na bahala?”
“Sige, sige. Tingnan ko kung may makakausap ako. Ipanalo mo yung trophy, ako bahala sa proposal mo.”
Wise gives him a wide, boyish smile before pocketing the box again. “Iba ka talaga, Boss. Ninong ka naming ah?”
There’s an odd twist in Tryke’s stomach that he can attribute to either ulcer or sentimentality. This is real. Wise knows how to play his boyish charm and often he plays the part to his advantage, to help him navigate certain situations or to conceal any lingering doubts. So moments that he is earnest and steely are rare and often a reason for Tryke to stop and reconsider. Wise has only pulled him aside without Vee in the vicinity handful of times. The first time, and possibly the most unforgettable one, was five years ago when he told Tryke in confidence that he will only sign to Tier One if:
- They will accept him and Vee as who they truly are: an inseparable duo in-game and, probably the more important one, romantically involved outside the game;
- Tryke, as the CEO, will give his word that the management will ensure that Vee will be treated fairly and above all else will be protected from any harm may it be from senseless online bashing or otherwise.
And that same man is now going to ask Vee’s hand for marriage on the biggest stage of their sport. This isn’t about sexuality or gender expression anymore – they are way past that. Not a single soul in this very venue would dare to say something. If Vee somehow decided that they get married on that stage right after the proposal, even Moonton will probably move mountains to make it happen.
It's a shame that Vee and Wise must get to the point where they are right now just to earn that level of respect. That shouldn’t how it works – but it is what it is. And all Tryke can do is trust them.
Tryke suddenly feels a headache coming. “Wise, wala na tayong time. Sana nabulong mo to sakin before pero please wag mo papaiyakin si Vee.”
“Boss, ano ba. Ako nga lagi pinaiyak nun. Under nga ako, di ba?”
Ah yes. Wise has always been the sure one since day one. It’s always been Vee who has been cautious and guarded. But this isn’t Tryke’s place to comment. There’s a line and he will respect it.
“Okay, pero kahit na. Mag-usap tayo after ah.” Tryke says, gathering his best management voice from the depths of his diaphragm.
“Sige una na po ako. May championship pa akong kelangan ipanalo.” Wise winks.
Tryke weakly waves at Wise as he practically ran toward the Blacklist International player room.
A production staff in a hurry accidentally hit Tryke’s shoulder. The guy throws a curt apology before dashing out, jerking Tryke out of his trance with the dire realization finally settling in the bottom of his stomach.
A Potentially Very Public and Unplanned Marriage Proposal. In M7. Of the Most Popular and Decorated MLBB Duo of All Fucking Time.
Fuck.
3. Hadji
Hadji stares at the two of them before rolling his gaming chair back and taking off his glasses. He wipes it clean before putting it back. He absentmindedly scratches his overgrown undercut. He needs to go to the barber this week.
Once he glances back at them, they have both moved to the other ends of the room.
He stands up and quietly walks towards Wise in the refreshment area. “Paps.”
“Ji.” Wise nods at him before finishing off his bottle of water and casually throwing the bottle in the bin. It goes in but Wise doesn’t react. None of his usual rowdiness. He also looks too pale for Hadji’s liking.
“Ayos ka lang?” Hadji starts. Until now, Hadji still feels awkward reaching out but to be honest, this is the least that he can do. “Ngayon ko na lang ulit kayo nakita ni Vee na nagka-initan sa drafting ah.”
They have been playing together since 2021. Won countless times. Lost some – and those are the most unforgettable ones. They have been living under the same roof for most of the past five years. At this point, and possibly against everyone’s will, they are attuned to each other’s moods and quirks.
They know that if Coach Bon Chan decides to take his bike out at 2:00 am, they should just let him be and tell the BC staff to prepare breakfast when he gets back in the morning. They know that if Boss Rada doesn’t talk to them for weeks, it means they are about to be bombarded by deliverables soon. They know that if Eson starts sending them unsolicited messages about drafting, that means he misses them but he’s not necessarily miserable with Team 2. If Oheb is playing early 2000’s Filipino rock songs, it means he’s missing home and it’s probably best if they cancel any training plan that weekend so they can take a break. Nothing good comes out if Oheb is nostalgic and melancholic.
And if Vee and Wise, notoriously in tune even down to their breathing, argue about drafting for more than three minutes, that means, well – it’s probably something personal.
Hadji frowns.
Don’t get him wrong. Vee and Wise know their place. They have never been unprofessional. They always know when they can let loose and be silly and when to retreat to their bubble, but Hadji can see how they are constantly aware of the burden they carry for the team. Almost to the incredulous point where it seems that despite everything they have achieved they are still worried that a miscalculation from Vee or a missed objective Wise will make the management decide to let them go.
Vee, after all these years, can still be guarded to a certain extent. He takes everything in and tries to deal with everything as their captain. He has never taken his role for granted and has never given them a reason to doubt his position in the team. Wise may be all easy smiles and casual jokes but when it comes to business, to their matches, he is nothing like his public persona. He is their core. He will do everything to make sure they win – even at his own expense.
But by the end of the day, they are human and there are moments when you get a glimpse behind the façade they have perfectly crafted over the years.
Wise doesn’t immediately answer. He runs his fingers through his hair, ruining his perfectly gelled hair. “Pasensya na. 3-3 na kasi. Nagkainitan lang.”
Hadji doesn’t expect that. He is expecting a polite denial or a half-hearted joke. Not an admission that Wise is feeling the pressure as well.
“Paps, di sila mag rereverse sweep. Atin to.” Hadji finds himself saying. His tenure as captain might have been short and generally unsuccessful, but he was, at some point, the Captain of Blacklist International.
Wise looks at him before exhaling, his shoulder dropping. “Oo, fuck. Tama ka. Sorry, sorry. Atin to.” Wise rubs his nose, a tick that Hadji learns Wise tends to do when he’s feeling a bit conscious. “Tangina, Ji. Binata ka na.”
At least Wise seems a little less stressed now. “Matanda na ako, Paps. May anak na nga ako eh.”
“Oo nga, gagi,” Wise’s voice turned strangely soft. “Naunahan mo ko.”
“Saan, Paps? Sa pag-aasawa or anak? Dami niyo ng anak ni Mamsh.”
“Apo sa kalingkingan kamo. Lakas ng lahi nila Harith.” Wise looks weirdly proud talking about his horde of cats.
“Pero Ji, ano pakiramdam nung nag propose ka kay Carla?”
Hadji blinks, surprised at the question. “Paps, ano ba yan. 5 mins na lang laban natin bakit ganyan mga tanong mo. Mag propose ka na ba kay Mamsh?”
Wise raises his brows at him, playful. Evil. The same playful Wise from 2022 that decided to publicly and shamelessly announce that Vee is the love of his life.
Hadji freezes. “Di nga?”
Wise shrugs his shoulder, smug.
“Tangina, di nga, Paps?”
“Oo nga, gago.” Wise finally breaks into a quiet silly laugh.
“Kelan? After ng laban?”
“Oo, sa stage sana. Kung magagawan ng paraan ni Boss Tryke.”
Hadji quickly covers his mouth with his hands. He has been a terrible liar ever since he was six years old and was caught stealing some change from his grandmother’s wallet. He hopes no one was looking at them.
“Seryoso ka nga? Sino may alam?”
“Coach Bon at Boss Tryke,” Wise replies. “Pamilya ko at ni Vee. Ay tsaka si Tori at Kiel, pero kasi napaka-epal nung dalawa na yun.”
Hadji blinks at that, but he doesn’t dwell. Tori is understandable as he is known to be Vee and Wise’s longtime confidant ever since their Onic days. And well, Kiel and Wise have always been closer.
“Ano to manalo matalo mag propose ka?”
“Panalo lang, gagi. Tatapatan natin ng diyamente yung ginto.”
Hadji bits his fist, trying his best to contain his emotions. He wants to hug Wise right now but all he can do to not draw attention is a heavy punch in the shoulder.
“Paps. Tangina. Paano pag nag walk out si Mamsh?”
“Eh di eh retri natin.”
And with that, Hadji can’t help but let out an uncharacteristically loud laugh that made everyone in the room look at them.
Including Vee, who gave them a curious look before talking again to Bon Chan.
“Kaya, Ji, galingan mo mag Pharsa mamya ah.”
“Ako bahala sa inyo, Paps.” They bump fist. “Bibigyan natin ng ginto at diamante si Mamsh.”
4. Mara
“Who would what now?”
The staff in front of her made a sound – a badly concealed giggle. “Magpro-propose daw po si Wise kay Vee mamaya during the interview niyo sa awarding ceremony after ibigay yung trophy kaya i-last niyo daw po siya sa mga iinterviewhin niyo.”
“Are you serious right now?” Mara whips her head around, trying to look for a Tier One staff. She sees someone vaguely familiar in a Blacklist bomber jacket about to walk past them.
“You.” She calls him over. “You’re from the marketing team ng Tier One, right?”
“Is this about the –” He gestures towards his ring finger. Mara nods, eyes wide in panic. Her heart is beating loudly. Her hands are cold.
“Yep. Totally unplanned. Literally kakasend lang ni Boss Tryke ng text sa staff na asa venue the moment na bumagsak yung tower ng Myanmar. Apparently sinabi lang din ni Wise sa kanya kanina minutes before Game 1.”
“What the fuck.” Mara is pretty sure she is about to get an aneurysm.
“I know. Buti na lang mejo three years ago pa kami may nakahanda ng mga asset in case na mangyari na to pero fuck iba na branding ng blacklist ngayon tapos shit kelangan na gumawa ng options in case na mag no si Vee or mag walk about – shocks wag naman sana, kelangan masabihan yung prod na i-pan out yung camera if ever or mag break into commercial tapos shet fuck yung mga copy, kelangan ng quotes. May veewise mod staff ata dito need naming ng quotes – ”
The guy continues to ramble to himself as he briskly walks away from Mara and the production staff.
“Oh my god,” Mara says.
“Oh my god.” She repeats to the staff.
“Kanina pa ako naiihi sa kilig, Ms. Mara.” The staff whispers, covering the mic of her headset.
“Oh my god –”
The staff just nods at her before gesturing back to their cue cards.
5. Wise
“How about you, Wise? Finally. After three years. You guys have finally reclaimed the M series. How are you feeling right now?”
“Parang nasusuka ako sa totoo lang.” Wise laughs, not bothering to answer in English. Mara will just have to translate it. He hears everyone in the venue laugh as well. He tries to look at the audience, but the spotlights are blinding him.
Look, he’s glad they won. The last game took around 25 mins to finish. That game was too tight for their liking. They are not as dominating as they thought they would be. Game after game. Seasons after season, the rest of the teams are catching up and easily outstrategizing them. If years ago, there were only a few select teams that can quickly adapt to the patches, now it seems like every team can not only make the meta work for them but can easily read them and execute against their strategies.
Unlike before when they can breeze through a series undefeated, now it seems like every tournament, every series is a tight fight. Feels like they are just waiting for the other teams to make a mistake to turn the tide. Most days, they have nothing, but their guts fueled by their experience that is saving their assess. It’s a humbling situation to be in but he supposes this was exactly what they needed to continue igniting the fire to win.
Maybe in a few days, they’ll end up back to the drawing board to rethink their strategies. This victory is only temporary. They need to reassess everything if they want to stay on top.
But that’s a problem for the future. For now, they have this. Finally, they have reclaimed the crown. A hard-fought, hard-earned World Championship. They were no longer the same team that won M3 in 2021. He is also no longer the same man – no, the boy that went on and won their first world championship.
Things have changed. Three years have come and gone quickly. Chrislyn is now in preschool. Several people have left the team. Even Vee’s mother is now permanently back in the Philippines to help them with their businesses.
Businesses.
Fuck. Wise can still remember when all they had for dinner were canned goods. When Onic came and sponsored them and offer them 15,000 pesos a month for a salary, he can’t believe his luck then. Who would dare pay his dumb, inexperienced ass real money to play a mobile game?
But now, look at them. Between him and Vee, they have 7 full-time staff working alone in their brand ventures. They got a food business, and they are currently building a resort in Antipolo. They have a fucking business manager.
Two college dropouts who just wanted to play video games have certainly come a long way.
He glances at Vee at his side. There is a knowing smile – a little secret. They have always been a little weird. Just a few days after meeting in person in a Lol tournament, they immediately developed a strange connection. Even before Wise fully understood what he was feeling and what was blooming inside of him, he can easily read Vee.
And Vee’s face is so open right now, bright. But it is unlike the spotlights on the stage right now that are blinding and fake and separates you from the rest of the people. No, Vee’s brightness has always been soft and warm and familiar. Like a welcoming morning dawn that reaches the far depths of a darkened room, waking you up gently, reminding you to keep going, and that the day has just started.
And that holds true at this very moment. Vee’s smile is small and knowing and it’s everything that Wise knows. It has anchored Wise in all his moments of doubts and insecurities. His tiny saving grace. A blessing of his moon goddess.
Vee’s smile is whispering a small promise – the day has just started. We are just starting.
“And why are you nauseous?” Mara asks after translating his previous answer, her voice loud and clear, expertly navigating the conversation. Wise looks at her and realizes.
Alright. It’s showtime.
“Kabado bente ako.” Wise is sweating. He’s laughing but he’s seriously about to piss himself on stage.
Mara turns to the audience, “Wise is saying he is nervous.” She gives Wise a small smile. “But why are you still nervous? You guys are the champion!” Mara says, with all the eased and practiced elation of a professional.
“Oo, champion ulit.” Wise feels the eyes of the crowd on him – perhaps waiting for a casual joke or a trash talk from him. But he’s out to disappoint some people tonight. He’s about to risk everything in a different kind of fight.
“Champion ulit pero di pa tapos ang laban.” He hears himself say and the crowd goes wild, perhaps thinking he is refuting any retirement gossip, but he tunes them all out and turned to Vee instead.
“Vee,” He amusedly studies how Vee’s smile slowly turns into a frown as Wise falls to one knee.
“Wais, ano ginagawa mo –”
“Vee, may M3 na tayo, may M7 pa. Baka naman gusto mo na ibigay sa atin isa pang M?” Wise says pulling out the box from his pocket and, strangely, the entire venue has turned silent. His ears are buzzing. His hands are shaking, but damn if this isn’t the most exhilarating feeling he has ever felt. This is a billion times more thrilling than getting Legendary kills. More rewarding than any championships
He lets go of the mic, hearing it drop on the floor as he opens the box. He prays to all the gods listening that he doesn’t fumble.
He’ll be honest. His plan doesn’t reach this part, but he goes for it anyway.
The mic is not able to capture his next words but thousands of people at the venue and the million live viewers figured it out anyway.
+ 1. Vee
Kiel (5:47 PM) : mamsh gl
Before Vee can reply, Kiel sends two pictures.
One is a selfie of him and Edward in front of the huge Blacklist poster in the venue entrance and the other is a picture of their backs, standing side by side, wearing Blacklist’s current jersey – Edward wearing Wise’s jersey while Oheb is wearing Vee’s
Vee (5:48 PM) : hala ang cute
Vee (5:48 PM) : asa venue kayo? manunuod kayo ng live?
Kiel (5:49 PM) : syempre mamsh pusong bl pa rin to
Kiel (5:49 PM) : kung hindi kame at least bl di ba
Vee can’t help but smile. It’s such a shame that they are in another M series grand finals but this time without Kiel and Edward on the roster.
Kiel is now playing for an Indonesian team that also qualified for M7 this year but has already been eliminated, while Edward is taking a break this year.
If Vee has any choice in the matter, the only fair way to reclaim the M series championship is with the same people who have won it with them first. But of course, things do not always go according to his favor. If that was the case, they would have won in MPL PH S4 and at least made it out of the group stage of M1 to properly cement their Onic S4 roster as the most iconic rookie team in the history of MPL PH.
They also would have been still playing for Onic PH and have won countless titles for the first team that has gambled on their amateur assess. They would have won M4 or at least avoid that heartbreaking sweep. If you go to that dangerous but inconsequential path of what-ifs, then he would have been able a successful LoL pro player in the first place.
And if things have always been in Vee’s favor, then he wouldn’t be rattled with these senseless thoughts and self-sabotaging doubts twenty minutes before an M series grand finals.
In this moment of weakness, Vee allows himself a little truth.
Vee (5:50 PM) : pagod na ako kiel
Vee is about to pocket his phone, not expecting Kiel to respond. Instead, it rings.
“Pwedeng mapagod. Bawala ang sumuko.”
Kiel says as a greeting in an unusually somber tone. Vee laughs.
“Sorry. Ang pangit lang ng gising ko.”
There’s a shuffle at the other side as Kiel probably searches for a quiet corner.
“Asan si Paps?” Kiel asks first before acknowledging Vee’s rare moment of vulnerability. He’s always been considerate.
Vee quickly looks around the team’s player room. There’s a flurry of activities. Couple of the backend team members are in the room, taking pictures and discussing themselves. Dex and MTB are huddled together in front of a laptop, conversing in hushed whispers. Hadji is at the far end, talking to someone on his phone – probably Carla, Owl is playing on his phone while Dominic is at the refreshment table, eating one of the product placement-sponsored snacks.
“Nasa CR. Baka nawala.” Vee is seated right in the middle of the room, not bothering to find a quiet place for this call. He’d always been the type of introvert who doesn’t necessarily want to interact with anybody, but he still wants to be involved. And for this team particularly, he wants to be on top of everything. He needs to be.
Kiel doesn’t say anything for a second. Vee is about to cut the silence when Kiel finally speaks up:
“Mamsh, ngayon ka pa ba mawawalan ng tiwala sa sarili mo? Ngayon ka pa mapapagod?”
Vee closes his eyes, leaning back in his chair.
“Ang weird, no. Pero gumising ako naisip ko, shocks eto na naman. Grand finals ng M-series. Parang nakakapagod na, Kiel.”
“Mamsh mahal kita pero isipin mo naman yung ilang libong taong never pa naka-apak sa isang M series championship match."
Vee suddenly feels small. He doesn’t even know why he said that to Kiel. He’s not being fair to the kid as well. It was only two days ago when Blacklist defeated Kiel’s new team.
“Lahat sila hanggang panuod na lang ng stream tuwing lalaban ka sa isang grand finals. Ilang libong tao na hanggng pangarap na lang na maka-apak sa liga. Mamsh, alam ko pagod ka na pero hinding hindi ka pwede pang-hinaan ng loob. Kung hindi man para sayo, at least para sa lahat ng players na tinitingala ka.”
Vee doesn’t answer instead he studies the callouses in his other hand. Wise has always been vocal about how much he likes Vee’s hands, but Vee has a hard time understanding why. Sure, his fingers are slender if you are into that. But his hands also bear the obvious signs of use. There are callouses where he often holds his phone, there are visible veins where he would forget to rest his hands after hours of RG and going straight to bath.
He supposes this is the hand of a veteran.
“Sorry, Kiel.”
“Mamsh, di ba sabi ko nga, pwede mapagod. Ang bawal ay sumuko. Normal lang mapagod. Tao ka din naman. Pero kahit anong mangyari, kelangan ibigay mo lahat. Kilala ko kayo ni Coach Bon. Wag na kayo mag-tago ng strat. Ano ba yung laging sinasabi ni Paps? No regrets. Mamsh, no regrets. Kahit anong mangyari ibigay mo lahat. No regrets.”
Vee listens, humming. After a while he finds himself saying: “Baka after nito, mag retire na ako.”
Silence.
“Kayo ni Paps?”
“Uh – Di ko alam.” Vee genuinely has to stop and think. And no, he actually doesn’t know what Wise wants. Years before Wise said that he’ll quit the pro scene when Vee does, but Vee wouldn’t assume that still stands today. “Naisip ko lang for me. Alam mo yun, parang kelangan ko muna mag pahinga.”
Vee hears Kiel and Edward talking at the other end of the line.
After a few seconds, Edward is on the line. “Mamsh, ano? Retire?”
“Hi, Ward.” Vee greets.
“Di mo na ako mahihintay, Mamsh?”
Vee can imagine Edward frowning while looking at the ground.
“Pinag-iisipan pa.”
“Sa totoo lang, Mamsh, mejo maling timing tong existential crisis mo. Wag mo munang tuldukan. Sasabak ka pa mamaya. Baka maka apekto sa shotcalling mo sa mga laban.”
He can’t help but feel fond because the teenager whose laughter and senseless side comments are his sole contributions during post-match interviews is long gone. Edward has grown tremendously – including his confidence and eloquence.
“Manalo, matalo, Mamsh, wala ka ng kelangan patunayan.”
Vee knows all of this. He’s no idiot. He knows he’s being unreasonably paranoid – asking all the wrong questions at the wrong time. It’s not going to change anything. But the voices in his head are getting annoyingly loud.
“Syempre mas gusto ko kung mahihintay mo ko pero maiintindihan ka namin.”
Slowly, he feels the tension leave his body. Wise has always been closer to the three of them as Vee is still notoriously introverted and moody but over the years, his teammates – especially the three younger ones – have learned how to navigate Vee’s moods and complexity.
But his and Edward’s strange affinity to each other is probably the biggest revelation. Perhaps due to Edward’s tendency to be closed off and moody like him, Edward simply knows when Vee needs verbal assurance or when a presence is enough.
“Pero feeling ko ngayon lang yan. Mamaya, mamsh, gigil ka na ulit. Manalo, matalo alam ko na di mo pa time mag-retire. Nagsisimula pa lang kayo ni Paps.”
“Siguro nga.”
Another rustling sound and then Kiel is back on the line.
“Mamsh, video. Mabilis lang.”
Vee turns on the camera and then smiles when he sees Kiel and Edward’s faces squeezed together to fit in the screen.
“Hi.”
“Mamsh, maayos ba kuko mo? Kelangan ka huli nagpa-manicure?”
Vee is taken aback by the question and quickly looks at his nails in panic.
“Huh? Maayos naman. Di ako nagpapa-manicure pero maayos naman. Bakit?”
Kiel nods, “Wala lang. Alam mo na baka mahirap pumindot kung mahaba kuko.” He explains, smoothly. “Tsaka alam mo na baka magkaroon ka ng bagong ring mamaya.”
“Yung championship ring? Oo nga. Shocks dapat nagpa-manicure nga ako.”
“Yup. Yup. Yung championship ring nga. Yun nga yun.”
Kiel is still nodding, while Edward is frowning at him.
“Isa pa –” Kiel starts, squinting his eyes at the screen. “Mamsh, ayusin mo buhok mo nang konti – tapos ano, lip gloss. Para maganda ka mamya sa camera.”
“Sinasabi mo ba na hindi ako maganda ngayon?” Vee teases.
“Maganda, syempre. Pero pag nag champion kayo mamaya, dapat ikaw ang bida.”
Vee laughs, and maybe this is what he needs. A little mindless bicker with the people whom he has shared the stage and fought countless battles in-game and out.
“Yan ang hinihintay namin. Ang ngiti at tawa ng captain ng Blacklist International.” Kiel says, saying Black International with an exaggerated accent. “Wag ka na muna mag-isip ng kung ano-ano. Eto munang grand finals harapin mo. Yung iba, bukas na.”
“Good luck, Mamsh. Dito lang kami.” Edward adds.
“Miss ko na kayo. Salamat sa pag-tawag.” Vee says, trying his best for his voice not to break, before dropping off the call.
He’s still smiling at his phone when he notices Wise entering the room.
“San ka galing?”
Wise clears his throat. “Nag CR lang.” He sits next to Vee. “Sino yung kausap mo?”
“Si Kiel at Edward. Mag kasama sila. Good luck daw.”
“Ah.” Is all Wise says.
“Tapos pinaalala saken ni Kiel yung nails ko. Oo nga pala, pag nanalo tayo, magkakaroon ako ng ring. Nakalimutan ko mag pa-manicure.”
“Huuuh – anong ring – ” Wise asks, his voice unnaturally high.
Vee frowns, “Yung championship ring? Di ba meron tayo lahat?”
Wise slumps down to his chair. “Ah oo nga pala. Oo.” He exhales like he is catching his breath, before glancing at Vee’s hand.
“Tingin nga ng kamay.”
Vee knows where this is heading but he gives Wise his hand. No one is paying attention to them anyway.
“Ganda naman ah. Kinis oh. Bagay nga dito bagong singsing.”
“Wais, ano ba.” He says, but he’s not pulling his hand away.
“Kaya kelangan natin manalo. Para mabigyan na kita ng singsing mamaya.” Wise says, eyes bright, his smile has just a tiny hint of mischievousness. Vee knows Wise is trying to sound casual but Vee knows him too well. There is weight in those words that Vee can’t help but feel a bit strangely overwhelmed. There’s a mix of excitement and dread that makes Vee’s chest feels heavy and his face warm. It’s unfamiliar and it should be scary, but Vee has always been a little bit illogical in all emotions concerning Wise.
Vee studies Wise: from his voice – low, like it’s coming from the depths of his diaphragm but familiar, to the way he is leaning towards Vee; from his smell – a faint whiff of that warm and woody perfume Vee’s mom gave to Wise, to the mercilessly way his thumb is softly rubbing Vee’s hand, absolutely shameless to the fact that there are about 10 people in the room right now who are being subjected to this filthy public display of affection.
Wise has always been a study in contradiction and Vee is endlessly fascinated. For others, Wise can sometimes be a silly kid with limitless energy who is seemingly always running all over the place, perfectly able to navigate social situations. At times, he can also be moody and stern particularly when his stubborn competitiveness strikes.
But for Vee, especially during their most crucial moments, Wise is more than a shallow study of his disposition. Wise’s contradictions are not polar opposites but are rather neatly layered in his genuineness. And those layers make him unyielding enough to be Vee’s anchor. He is Vee’s lifeline to sanity when the voices in his head get just a bit loud and annoying. And he is always so transparent – his emotions, his demons, his doubts. He hardly conceals it. For Vee who grew up believing that showing vulnerability is a clear sign of weakness, it was life-changing to witness Wise articulate and express himself without even a drop of hesitation. Wise has always been vocal about how Vee has changed him, but it goes both ways. By just being him, Wise makes Vee wants to do better and be better, constantly and in perpetuity.
And right at this moment, with Wise’s warm and familiar touch on his hand, Vee knows all his doubts and fears don’t stand a chance against the rush of inane bravery he feels whenever he’s with Wise.
“Okay.” Vee inhales, curling his fingers around Wise’s. “Promise?”
“Promise.” Wise winks.