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two red strings brought by fate….will their love continue to be strong? or start to drift apart that the memories begin to feel unfamiliar…we’re those memories made up? did he end up forgetting him and broke his promise?
……
a loud buzz went off, it was the alarm. the magenta haired boy groaned as his eyes slowly began to flutter open, yet they were still heavy. mao hasn’t slept that much at night, he has started to go back to his unhealthy habits he’s had before. over the past couple of days mao has been over the edge, he tried to brush it off as not getting enough sleep as the usual excuse that he uses on everyone especially to a certain boy…..but that boy hasn’t been talking to him that much, he seems to look more ecstatic day by day. perhaps it could be the girl he’s been hanging out with lately? no he’s hung out with her for quite some time, at first mao didn’t seem to care at all but now it’s starting to affect him. his feelings grew more it hurt so much he couldn’t bare to see ritsu hang out with that girl, and the way he’s been treating his friends lately and well not giving mao the same treatment, as if he was ignoring him.
“just gotta get through another week…..i wonder what ritsu is up to…” mao sighed in despair, there’s no turning back now onto getting the one he loves the most. everything about ritsu was perfect, only how mao sees him and no one else.
“confessing to him again would be pathetic, there’s no way he’d ever like a guy like me…yet he acted in so many ways that i feel guilty for not returning the feelings back to him” the boy slowly sat up, as he slowly turned his head over to the window. dawn was coming soon, the start of a day…..a very sad day, no matter how many times mao tries to get ritsu’s attention his attitude changes all of a sudden, he sometimes responds with a simple sentence that can come off as a bit mean or just straight up ignore him.
“it’s so stupid how….my heart still aches that i create so many scenarios in my head about him and me , but of course it will never happen no matter what of how much i try to get his attention…..maybe those moments we had together….was simply a fragment of my mind…..if that’s what ritsu think then it probably wasn’t real after all. “ he sighed and stood up walking to his drawer, slowly grabbing out his clothes. there was still time left before school would start.
mao didn’t bother to tie up his bangs, sometimes he preferred to rather not be noticed by ritsu.
…..
the bell rang, mao walked out of his dorm with toast in his mouth topped with some honey on, he grabbed the toast and bit down on it. maybe toast would keep him slightly sane than he was the past mornings, the poor boy has completely deluded himself by someone who doesn’t love him back….”does ritsu hate me? if he does then he doesn’t have to hide it i just want to talk to you again….” his thoughts scattered like crazy in his head, he overthinks it too much. he spaced out for a moment, as if he was unconscious until his name was called out.
“isara-kun!” a familiar voice called out it was subaru, mao turned over. he slightly panicked because around this time ritsu usually comes out of his dorm and mao makes a run for it.
“subaru!….don’t make so much noise you’ll wake up everyone….” he placed his hand over his mouth and looked around just to make sure if they weren’t caught ‘red handed’.
“why would people care? surely it’s because of-“ subaru was again cut off by mao.
“no. “ mao stared at him coldly, he didn’t want to be seen by ritsu that’s probably the last thing he’d want right now “let’s get out now before we get caught” he reassured before grabbing his hand and ran off with subaru, towards the elevator “hey! chill out dude what’s the rush…we’re still pretty early from class why the rush?” the ginger hair questioned, but he noticed something about mao…..he looks more down than usual he hasn’t been “upbeat” lately. subaru wondered what was going on, not enough sleep? stressed out for finals? what could it be….
“hey uh isara-kun….you haven’t been so bright lately, you look more gloomy everyday is something wrong? just tell me already, did someone reject you or something” he leaned against the wall while tapping his feet on the carpet.
“technically yeah i did somewhat get rejected a while ago but now it’s affecting me….i used to be close with them until they started to drift apart when i made a promise to never leave them, and well….they broke it.” he crosses his arms and looked down, subaru wouldn’t tell anyone about his problems but this time it’s scary to come out and say it.
“it’s about ritsu. i don’t know i just started getting feelings for him and they’ve grown so much more worse it hurts sometimes, yet he keeps ignoring me yet goes to treat his other friends nicely, as if i’m a total complete stranger to him again” he leaned his head back then turning it left towards subaru.
“ah ritsu? i can kinda see where this is going…but it’s fine ! i’m sure he’ll notice you very soon don’t lose hope alright? i don’t like it when your like this i start getting anxious because you know what happened last time right” he stepped closer to mao, and lightly punched his chest “love is confusing….i never understood it so well but i’ll be willing to help you”
mao felt warm by this, subaru was a good friend he could rely on even though he may not help solve his internal problems mao bottles up so much. ‘ding!’ the elevator made a sound meaning they have reached to the bottom floor “i guess we part ways, thanks subaru i’ll see you around lunchtime” he warmly smiled at him before running off to his class, a class he didn’t want to be in because ritsu was there. ritsu sits in front of him no wonder mao in the mornings goes to sit with his other friends that way ritsu won’t know that he’s there for now.
“mao hiding from ritsu again i see” hokuto lightly slapped his back.
“what was that for….” he looked up with sad like eyes, not as if he was about to cry more like eyes filled with agony.
“cheer up, we’ll make sure ritsu doesn’t hang out with her any longer” hokuto rubbed his head usually he takes cover for mao by putting a notebook on his head for these kinds of situation and chats with everyone else….a very obscure presence filled in the room, both of the boys already knew who it would be. mao lifted up the notebook that was on his head to stare at ritsu for a short moment just to admire his features before class started, if only…he could talk to him again and get close like they always were. those lips looked so soft, a perfect match for mao’s….the bell rung, mao quickly got the notebook off his head. “thanks hokuto, for taking cover for me…..” he yawned. “of course! good luck with him okay?” mao nodded before heading back quickly to his seat since everyone was to so he tried not to make his presence noticeable to ritsu.
for the entire class period mao’s eyes were only focused on the person in front of him, he didn’t really care if he got in trouble for spacing out but he rather not risk that then that’ll mean the attention will go to him and he wouldn’t want something embarrassing to happen in front of the boy he loves the most.
the bell rung, it was lunch time of course mao would always be the first to leave the classroom with hokuto to lunch but in this case mao was unlucky, both exits were crowded by students.
“hokuto!- eh?” mao bumped into someone, but this time it felt so uncanny he slowly turned around to see who it was. his pupils shrunk as if he saw a ghost, he took two steps back before hiding with the rest of the crowd. “why in such unfortunate situations does it have to end like that…..especially when i’m near him…ritsu.” for sure he was doomed but hoped to be ignored by him again like usual it never fails to dig a hole in mao’s heart a big hole, as if he’d fallen into his own deep despair of wanting to be loved by another but it would be too late wouldn’t it? fall came early this year….so did winter.
could it be….one last breath before another year begins? no of course mao wouldn’t think of such of thing wouldn’t he?
“maa-kun?” a voice. a very familiar calming voice. mao realized he stood there in the middle of the hallway, “oh shit im fucked for good” he whispered nervously but aside from that ritsu called him by the nickname he’s given mao since childhood, at least that’s what made him feel better.
“ah ritsu….i didn’t notice you were there, did you just look at me for a bit” well that was a shitty excuse he could come up with, impolite too. that isn’t a way to treat someone you love right? “well maa-kun….i just wanted to say hello….ah i noticed your bangs aren’t tied here let me-“
“ritsu it isn’t much of a big deal anyway i just felt like not tying them today” the real reason was that he didn’t want ritsu to notice his sad eyes and face, lying to ritsu was the only option he had about him being fine and not being hung over the past weeks over a boy he can’t move on from. “are you sure? i mean there’s nothing really wrong about that it’s just usual to see your bangs untied” he walked closer to him before slightly leaning into his face.
“r-ric- ritsu!? what’re you doing-“ his cheeks slightly turned into crimson red, the raven hair noticed how his facial expressions changed. his ruby red eyes lightened up a bit, slowly giving the flustered boy a warm smile. “it’s been a while since i’ve seen this face…specifically on you considering everyone else does” ritsu today is slightly affectionate and warm, when was it the last time he’s been like this with him? all he’s ever interacted with him was either cold or just ignoring him pretty much…..he was being clingy..mao missed this feeling of someone being clung to him.
“let’s go to the courtyard maa-kun…” he sounded solemn, did something happen to him? unlike mao who bottles up a lot ritsu tends to not open up about his feelings that much either, whenever he did mao would somewhat be blunt yet give a piece of advice to him considering he wasn’t the best at confronting people “ricchan…..” the nickname, he felt bittersweet just by saying it “do you want to…..hang out some day whenever you have time?” of course he expected a no but still he just wanted a response. “well not today i have a date, but some other time i’ll text you!” a date?….with that girl? why her?! she’s always in the way of whatever mao wants why does she wait for him when school ends, why choose her.
a couple of minutes right after arriving at the courtyard, ritsu picked a secretive place he’s always had “maa-kun….are you sure you wont leave me?” a sharp pain formed in mao’s chest, that question always got him. “no? i wouldn’t leave you under every circumstance i’ll always wait for you i promise to never leave you ritsu.” though the last part of that sentence was something mao wouldn’t be so sure about, why was ritsu suddenly affectionate to him again?….”i want to be with you for an eternity maa-kun, please don’t leave me okay?…” ritsu wrapped his arms around the magenta haired boy, this much of intimacy was something mao couldn’t handle. he’s afraid of it but yet it felt nice to get a hug from someone he loves after a while….
“say ricchan….about that date of yours ah i mean not that what i meant is-“ he was cut off.
“oh the date i have? that’s what she called tho for me it just seems like a regular hang out we always have” he stated as if it was a good thing, to mao it was, he was relieved it wasn’t a date between him and that girl meaning there’s some hope left of mao confessing his love to ritsu but it can turn out to a different whole scenario.
“so maa-kun since you asked about my ‘date’ what about you? you seemed very lightened up when i talked about it, do you have a girl you like?~” he cooed, the magenta haired boy sighed the expression on his face went from being lightened up to his depressed-poker face “no ritsu, no one would be interested in me , not a single person would. and it’s true, besides what girl would be interested in some guy like me who only focuses on his idol life”
“i’m an idol too, what’s the difference?” ritsu scooted over closer to mao while poking his cheek, mao couldn’t resist how cute ritsu could be all the time so why not play it smooth “well erm you see…..you have the cute looks- i mean! pretty ones? handsome? s-something girls would like nowadays ricchan……” the boys cheeks turned to crimson red, easily flustered by saying many words that could obviously mean he likes ritsu. “hehe~….well thank you for the compliments maa-kun~…”
“it’s true! girls do like the features you have on your face no wonder one asked you out…she’s very lucky….” mao tried to not make himself not sound jealous as possible because it only hurt him more, he wouldn’t want to hurt ritsu at all but really it was ritsu himself hurting mao more “well….yeah i guess but don’t take it to where you think we’re dating maa-kun, who knows what twist could happen to her or me” he rested his head on the other male, the cold wind plastered on both of their faces.
“christmas is this weekend maa-kun….this year is ending so fast isn’t it?” ritsu reasured. what a painful reminder, even at a good moment he’s having right now that yet torn his fragile heart apart, mao didn’t really wanna thin about it but the thought of what he was going to do on christmas.
”what will you do on christmas? christmas eve is just in two days”
…
two days? four days until christmas.
by the end of that way, mao felt a lot closer to ritsu like they always been before. he waved goodbye at the love of his life as he watched him run off to the girl who is possibly someone who he is in love with and tried to denise the idea of him dating her was a good thing and not just a platonic friendship….”heh……maybe i should get someone for ritsu, something that’ll make him remind me of each time he sees it…” mao mumbled to himself before a further ado it was time to do expensive shopping around the city just to look for one thing to express his love entirely to ritsu and of course a letter filled with his voice from the heart. “maybe one day….i’ll stop falling in love with you and move on knowing i’ll truly never find someone like you ever again” the magenta hair sighed in despair , as he continued his way to the city. how could such a lucky boy like ritsu, whom never notice mao’s true feelings he this dense?
he arrived by the shops and entered one, he felt enthusiastic since this was one of the most popular shop for jewelry and people usually come here to buy such jewels for their loved ones mao was drawn to them, they were so beautiful. tho due to them being expensive, having to use trickstar’s funds wouldn’t be a bad thing right? mao could get away with it easily. the magenta haired male narrowed his eyes down to every red jewel he came across until one caught his eyes, a jewel with small skulls along with little bats stuck by the sides of the ruby that was plastered against the silver on the necklace.
“ritsu would like this…i hope.” it went well with his appearance. he purchased it with the trickstar funds, that concluded his day meaning two days left before christmas and well winter break from school but less time on seeing ritsu, he cannot see him nor visit him since that girl is always in the way. mao kept overthinking about the “date” ritsu is possibly having with that girl right now, he really wanted to see what was happening between both of them. maybe it was an actual date…that girl got ahead of mao and left him with no choices whatsoever ever.
“i’m sure ritsu would love this…..right?…” he started to feel slightly drowsy as more and more thoughts of doubts that ritsu would even notice mao’s gifs since he usually gets a lot, but he hoped this would be something ritsu could take to heart and give deep thought to it.