Archive of Our Own

Yuqi never had any problems with her hearing growing up, but she swore she was experiencing audible hallucinations when those words left the man’s mouth.

“You have three weeks.”

Her heart dropped. “What?”

The CEO adjusted his seat and leaned closer towards his desk as he spoke, his voice dripping with condescension. “It has been in your contract for the past few months that you are required to provide five self-written and produced songs by the end of December, yes?”

Yuqi nodded, feeling her body start to go numb at his tone. “Yes, sir.”

The man in front of her stared at her for a few moments, pausing a bit before he spoke again. “And do you know what month it is now, Song Yuqi?”

The blonde’s heart dropped once again at the use of her full name, and her brain began to jump to a million different conclusions, none of which had positive outcomes. There was no possible way this conversation would end well. Nothing good ever happened after being addressed by your full name. The condescension dripping from his voice only distressed her more.

“January, sir.”

A twisted smile was sent her way, and it made her feel ill, as if he was toying with her, enjoying testing her patience and reveling in her discomfort. “And how many songs have you submitted?”

Yuqi felt guilt and dread spread throughout her body, coating her insides with a thick layer of anxiety. “Two…”

The CEO gave her a pointed look.

“...Sir.”

The older man cleared his throat before beginning to speak again. “You were supposed to have five songs written, produced, and submitted by the end of December. It is nearly a month past that. We have given you multiple extensions, which we didn’t have to do, and which I’m nearly starting to regret.” He took a small pause before continuing. “Now, the two songs you submitted wouldn’t ever chart, and there’s no way you don’t know that. You have a target audience, so you need to prioritize them. This whole ‘I wanna be a real artist’ thing of yours has to end, because if your songs don’t do well, neither will you.”

Yuqi felt tears well in her eyes as he spoke. It was obvious he wasn’t finished. The way he paused, waiting for her reaction, as if he was enchanted by the idea of the woman breaking down in front of him. He was clearly enjoying torturing her, and she knew it would only get worse.

“You have three weeks. That gives you about one week for each song, and I expect you to use that time well. Do not even think about submitting it late. Breaching a contract might not always be illegal, but I’ll be damned if you think you’ll ever set foot in this company again after failing to submit those songs once more.”

Yuqi’s blood ran cold.

“Am I understood?”

Yuqi nodded frantically, feeling her hands clam up at the implications of his words. She felt herself begin to panic, the familiar feeling bubbling up in her stomach, clouding her vision as tears came cascading down. “I- I’ll get them to you on time; I promise.”

The CEO said nothing in response, continuing to stare at the girl and bathe in her discomfort. His lips slowly turned into a grin as he finally dismissed her. “Get out of my office.”

Yuqi sprung up immediately, grabbing her bag and almost tripping over her chair in the process. She quickly slung it over her back before yanking the door open and booking it through the hallways. She needed to talk to someone. She felt like she was going insane, and there was no way she could come back to reality on her own. As she maneuvered through the staircases and down the floors, she eventually found her way out and made a bee-line to the apartment of her youngest friend. 

Shuhua opened the door after a few knocks, her eyes swelling up with concern as she took in the sight before her. Yuqi’s hair was in the messiest bun she had ever seen, and part of Shuhua wondered if she had even brushed it that morning. Her eyes were puffy and bloodshot, tear stains smeared throughout her entire face. She was hiccuping and shivering, struggling to speak as tears continued to fall.

The younger girl took a quick peek behind Yuqi to see if anyone else was there before taking her hand and leading her inside. She took her to the living room, sitting her down on the sofa and taking a place next to her. Timidly, she brought her hand up to wipe some tears away, cradling Yuqi’s head in her hand as she examined the girl in front of her.

She didn’t look like herself. The girl in front of her was Yuqi, but she wasn’t really there. It looked as if she had gone somewhere else, and the lack of emotion on her face was almost disturbing.

“What happened?” She asked softly.

Yuqi sniffed before wiping her eyes, the first acknowledgement of her own existence that she’d made since she arrived. “I need–” She hiccuped again, choking on her feelings as her words got stuck in her throat. “They told me I only have– Oh my God.” It was as if she lost the ability to speak, like she couldn’t even form coherent thoughts, let alone vocalize them.

Shuhua glanced to the side as she heard the faint sound of footsteps approaching, Soojin coming in from around the corner. “Yuqi? I didn’t know you were he– woah, are you okay?”

Yuqi’s gaze shifted to the older girl, feeling her heart break just a bit more. She turned to Shuhua with a defeated sigh. “I didn’t know she was here.”

Shuhua cocked her head to the side, confused by the sudden change. “What? What are you talking about?”

“I just didn’t know she was here… I did want to talk to you, but not with…” Yuqi trailed off, feeling guilty at her own desires. She knew Soojin wouldn’t judge her. Soojin was the least judgemental person she knew, but just the thought of that potentially changing because of her terrified the younger girl to no end.

Shuhua narrowed her eyes, trying to ignore the twinge of anger at Yuqi’s last words. “Why don’t you want her to hear?”

“I can leave, if you guys want.” Soojin subtly interrupted them, offering them a way out. She didn’t understand what was going on, and part of her wasn’t sure if she really wanted to know anymore.

“No, stay,” Shuhua said firmly.

“It’s no big deal, really,” Soojin said, attempting to reassure her. “She clearly needs you right now; there’s no reason for me to interfere with that if she feels more comfortable with you.”

Shuhua’s mood shifted as she replied. “Please stay…” She asked softly. She wanted to help Yuqi, but she also knew Soojin was better versed at these things. She loved Yuqi, and she would do anything to see her smile, but she didn’t always know how to.

Yuqi watched the interaction silently, deciding to just rip off the Band-Aid so she could finally breathe and recapture Shuhua’s attention. She stared forward at her younger friend as Soojin sat down behind her, wrapping her arms around Shuhua’s waist from behind and resting her chin on her shoulder.

“I was contractually obligated to submit five self-written and produced songs by the end of December, but now January is almost over and I’ve only submitted two songs. Apparently those were atrocious, though, and now I have to stop trying to be a ‘real’ artist.” She paused for a moment as she took a breath; it was getting hard to breathe again, and she needed to get this out. Shuhua was silent, keeping all her attention on her friend as she held onto her girlfriend’s arm.

“Shuhua, if I don’t submit the last three songs by the end of the next three weeks, they’re going to terminate my contract.”

Shuhua’s heart dropped and her face paled; the room suddenly felt a million degrees cooler. It felt as if her blood had turned to ice within a matter of milliseconds, panic beginning to spread through her body.

Soojin, long forgotten by the other two, noticed the shift immediately, and she began to feel uneasy. She didn’t speak Mandarin, but body language was her own second language. She watched as Shuhua froze up at Yuqi’s words, going stoic in her arms and noticing that the younger girl had started crying once again.

“What?” Shuhua’s voice was quiet. It was almost a whisper, like she was scared of her own voice. 

“He told me it’s a breach of contract… It’s possible that it’s not technically illegal, but he made it very clear I would no longer be welcome in Cube.” Yuqi forced a dry laugh as she explained, fearing that she would break down even more if she did anything else.

Shuhua whimpered as she felt her heart break once again. She lost the fight against her tears, and she bit her lip as she tried to stifle a sob. Soojin’s grip grew tighter, holding her close as she started to shake.

She couldn’t lose another member. She already lost the girl she was closest to. Were they gonna take away the one who helped her through it too?

“Y-you’re lying,” Shuhua said with a shaky breath. She forced a laugh, trying to make sense of it all. “This is a joke, right? You’re joking, right?” She felt herself panicking again, later switching back to Korean as a last resort. She looked around the apartment, glaring at every single object she saw before speaking. 

“If this is a hidden camera prank, it’s not funny!” Shuhua yelled.

She knew it wasn’t a hidden camera prank. Not in her own apartment, not when there were traces of Soojin littered all over the place, not when the dancer was currently attached to the younger girl.

She knew it wasn’t a hidden camera prank, but she needed it to be.

“No– Shuhua, it’s–”

Yuqi was cut off by Soojin, who finally inserted herself in the conversation once she could understand bits and pieces of their words. She detached herself from Shuhua, adjusting herself to face the two of them. The dancer looked exhausted and confused and worn out all at the same time, and she felt only dread at the sight of the two girls on the couch.

“What’s going on, please…” She was borderline begging, and she wondered if she was about to be the third person to cry. “Please tell me. You’re scaring me.” Soojin’s lip trembled as she spoke, anxiety wrapping itself around her chest. “Please, I want to help you, Yuqi. Let me help you.”

Yuqi hesitated for a moment, glancing at Shuhua before returning her gaze to the older girl. As she recounted the story, she spoke as quietly as she could without being mute. She flinched a bit as Soojin sat down next to her, her body shaking as she described what happened. She knew the older girl wasn’t the most physically affectionate person, so she silently cherished the loving embrace she was slowly gathered into. Soojin was warm, and Yuqi’s shaking began to slow down just the slightest bit.

Soojin, on the other hand, felt like she had just been stabbed in the gut. Was she really gonna have to go through this again? Shaking her head, she ignored those thoughts and returned her focus to Yuqi. “Have you talked to Soyeon?”

Yuqi’s eyes widened, anxiety flaring up in her chest once again. “No!” She emphasized, borderline shouting. “I haven’t talked to her, and you cannot tell her.”

“But–”

“Soojin, I’m serious. Both of you. Do not tell her. I know you want to help, but I need you to listen to me. Help me by listening to me, not by enlisting someone else.” Yuqi sounded exhausted, and Soojin’s resolve faltered once again as she imagined how drained the younger girl must be.

The older girl took Yuqi’s hands into her own, squeezing them as an act of reassurance and getting the blonde to look at her again. “I won’t tell her, okay?” Yuqi nodded, attempting to speak before Soojin interrupted her again. “But you can’t keep this from her forever. She’s going to find out eventually.”

Yuqi grimaced, internally gagging at just the thought of Soyeon getting involved. Her girlfriend was her favorite person on the planet, no doubt, but the thought of telling her this information felt like she was listening to a repeating loop of nails on a chalkboard. She couldn’t burden Soyeon with her problems, especially now that the older girl was finally back in the zone writing and producing new projects.

She took a shaky breath before speaking. “I know.”

“Yuqi,” Soojin started. “You still have a chance, okay? And you need to take it. You have three weeks, which means you have less time than that to tell Soyeon. She deserves to hear it from you, not the company. Don’t let them make the choice for you.”

Yuqi swallowed, taking in every word and storing it in the back of her mind for safekeeping.

She needed to find Soyeon

Soyeon was always in one of two places: her studio, or Cube's practice rooms. Her apartment was always a bit of an afterthought, though she did enjoy escaping there every now and then. For the most part, however, her time was spent composing songs and rehearsing choreography.

Yuqi, ever the expert when it came to anything Soyeon-related, knew exactly where to find her. Slowly, she made her way to the older girl’s studio, internally rehearsing what she wanted to say, how she wanted to say it, and debating whether she should say anything at all. 

She never had to worry about knocking on the door; she knew Soyeon’s password, even if it was off limits to others. Soyeon had no problem providing the four-digit code to the younger girl. If anything, she had been almost excited to give her the code, secretly enticed by the idea of Yuqi occasionally making surprise trips to visit her.

Soyeon turned around at the slight disturbance, a smile growing on her face when she saw the younger girl. She opened her arms and grinned as Yuqi made her way over to her, tackling her in a hug and almost knocking her off her chair.

The older girl let out a screech as she fell back a bit, Yuqi’s hand grabbing the desk behind her and steadying her chair in the process. “Sorry,” she said sheepishly. 

Soyeon bit her lip to keep herself from smiling even wider, wanting to spare what was left of Yuqi’s dignity. “It’s okay.” 

Soyeon leaned back a bit as Yuqi adjusted herself on her lap, tilting her head to examine the girl in front of her. Taking the younger girl’s face in her hand, she quickly analyzed her gaze. “Did you need something, baby?” She questioned, her attention back on the small interruption. She took Yuqi’s hand in her own, playing with her fingers as she observed.

Yuqi sighed, getting back to her feet and plopping down onto the couch in front of her, pulling Soyeon off her chair and down with her. The shorter girl landed next to her with a thud, and she gave her girlfriend a smack on the arm. “You’re so dramatic,” she scolded her. Yuqi stuck her tongue out in response, knowing just how to push the older girl’s buttons. 

Soyeon clicked her tongue, crossing her arms and beginning to feign disinterest. “If you don’t have anything important to say, you should stop wasting my time.”

Yuqi gasped, leaning forward and invading her girlfriend’s personal space. “How dare you! Everything I say is important,” she added with a pout.

Soyeon groaned, pushing the girl away from her as she pretended to be annoyed. “Get off of me, you big baby.”

Yuqi fell to her back on the opposite end of the couch, landing with an oof and puffing up her cheeks, blowing her now-messy hair out of her eyes. “You’re no fun,” she said with a frown.

“I’m working!” Soyeon argued.

Yuqi looked at the blank screen on the desk and the empty notebook resting next to it before looking back at her girlfriend suspiciously. “Are you?”

Soyeon groaned once again, falling backwards on the couch as she listened to Yuqi tease her. “Well I was trying to work until you interrupted me!”

“Unnie, that notebook is blank,” Yuqi said in a duh tone.

“Yuqi, that notebook has hundreds of pages,” Soyeon replied, taking on the exact same tone as the younger girl.

Yuqi’s lip turned up, finding a new way to tease her smaller girlfriend. “And how many of those pages are dedicated to me?” She asked sweetly.

Soyeon decided to be honest, knowing it would fluster Yuqi more than any playful insult she could supply. Their push-and-pull relationship relied heavily on the desire to tease one another, but Soyeon knew Yuqi had a soft spot for vulnerability, always gaining a whole new level of embarrassment when Soyeon professed her true feelings. She took on a sickly sweet tone as she responded, wanting to play with the girl even further. “All of them.”

Yuqi’s cheeks flushed at the response, not expecting Soyeon to be so forthcoming. She narrowed her eyes accusingly, trying to call her bluff. “Really?” She questioned disbelievingly.

“No, not really,” Soyeon replied with a laugh, bursting the younger girl’s bubble. At Yuqi’s expression, though, she quickly started doing damage control, stumbling over her words. “Most of them are, though!” 

Yuqi continued to glare at her, so Soyeon decided to finally stop teasing her. “I am serious,” Soyeon replied, her voice becoming less and less playful overtime, taking on a more genuine tone. 

“Actually,” she started, growing a bit shy. She bit her lip as she contemplated sharing, not quite sure whether she was ready to present what she’d spent weeks perfecting. “I have been working on a song lately…” She trailed off, avoiding her girlfriend’s gaze.

Yuqi’s lips quirked up into a genuine smile, her heart warming at Soyeon’s romanticism. The shorter girl would vehemently deny it if called out, but she was a romantic at heart, and sometimes all she wanted to do was hole up in a ditch and dedicate the rest of her life to writing love songs for Yuqi. 

Hypothetically, of course. She would never actually run away to spend the rest of her life professing her love for the younger girl through music. Of course not. Never…

“Would you like to hear it?” She asked sheepishly, internally flinching as she pictured how pitiful she looked in that moment, shy and head over heels in love.

“I would love to,” Yuqi replied with a grin.

Soyeon let out a small breath, calming her nerves before standing up to grab her laptop and placing it on her lap, scrolling through the different audio files she had saved. She stuck her lip out as she looked, occasionally licking or biting as she worked. Eventually, she landed on a file and let out a content breath, opening it up and turning to the younger girl.

“It’s kind of different from what I usually do, but I still wanted to try…” She prefaced, the nervous feeling she always experiences when presenting new music beginning to spread through her body.

Yuqi smiled comfortably at her girlfriend, squeezing her hand before speaking. “Everything you write is perfect, Soyeon. I’m sure I’ll love it.”

Soyeon smiled shyly before pressing play, allowing the melody to flow out of the speakers and invade Yuqi’s senses. The melody was a bit upbeat, as if it were a bright song, but the lyrics didn’t quite match with it. The lyrics were sad, almost. Regretful. The juxtaposition of the bright tone and dark lyrics created a mixed feeling in the younger girl, and she couldn’t help but compare herself to her experienced girlfriend.

Soyeon was a genius when it came to producing; there was no doubt about it. Everything she touched turned to gold, and Yuqi would bet all her savings on the girl’s skills. Her admiration, however, hit a bit of a snag when her thoughts were clouded by the responsibilities hanging over her head. As she listened to the song, all she could think about was how insanely talented Soyeon was, and how insanely underqualified she was. She loved watching Soyeon work, but she also internalized a lot of it, beating herself up for not being on the same caliber.

She knew it was irrational; she’d only started producing recently, and Soyeon had been producing for years, but she still felt a sense of disappointment every time she thought about her own skills regarding producing.

The song was beautiful. Soyeon’s skills never failed to impress her, and she never quite knew how to fully express her feelings surrounding her girlfriend’s songwriting. Yuqi truly did love the song. She could listen to it for hours. She could listen to all of Soyeon’s songs for hours.

Yuqi must’ve gotten lost in her thoughts, because she was suddenly startled by a hand waving in front of her face, bringing her back to the present. She shook her head and blinked out her confusion, clearing her mind and turning her attention back to the girl next to her. “Sorry,” she let out, feeling guilty at her lack of awareness.

“It bored you that much, huh?” Soyeon questioned with a slight laugh, a faint hint of hurt in her voice. Small, but still there. Small, but just enough that Yuqi could pick up on it.

“What? No!” Yuqi protested, shaking her hands. “It was beautiful,” she insisted.

“It’s okay, Yuqi,” Soyeon said dejectedly. Her demeanor had switched entirely, as if she was expecting this response, as if she was waiting for a chance to express her own disappointment in herself. “You don’t have to lie to protect my feelings. I’ve never been the best at writing ballads, but I thought this would at least be somewhat listenable. I should’ve known the lyrics didn’t match. A bright song with sad lyrics… I mean, really? I could’ve come up with so much better…” She trailed off, continuing to criticize herself in her head. 

Yuqi shook her head once again, trying to regain Soyeon’s attention. “I’m not lying,” Yuqi pushed, needing Soyeon to believe her. “It’s an amazing song; I just got distracted, that’s all.” She didn’t understand why Soyeon insisted on criticizing her own work.

Soyeon sighed, rubbing her eyes with the heels of her hand. “Well, clearly something’s wrong if it’s not even good enough to keep your attention.”

Yuqi flinched a bit at the comment, feeling a slight sting at the way her girlfriend spoke to her. She furrowed her brows, confused at the way Soyeon’s mood had seemed to change and why she was taking it so personally. She’d told Soyeon liked the song; why wouldn’t she believe her? “I said it was a beautiful song, Soyeon.”

The younger girl was confused. She loved Soyeon’s song; she loved all of Soyeon’s songs. Some, a bit too much, her members would argue. She couldn’t help it, though. Soyeon had always been her role model, even before they began dating. It was impossible for Yuqi to not enjoy anything Soyeon created. 

“Yeah, beautiful enough to put you to sleep,” Soyeon snorted, closing her laptop and standing up before hastily setting it on her desk, fighting the urge to flinch as it landed a bit too harshly. Yuqi, on the other hand, began to become slightly angry. The fact that Soyeon wouldn’t hear her out and was essentially acting like Yuqi could never like the song was starting to mess with her head.

“Soyeon, I don’t understand.” Yuqi stood up, following her girlfriend to her large workspace, standing in front of the chair Soyeon frequently occupied. “It’s an amazing song; I don’t hate it. I got distracted, but it wasn’t because I was bored.”

Soyeon set her lips in a thin line and crossed her arms, questioning the girl in front of her. “Then why did you? You always listen to my songs, no matter the time or place. You never lose focus or get distracted when I play them for you. What happened this time?”

Yuqi hesitated, unsure of how to respond. Soyeon looked genuinely hurt, and she didn’t know how to make it better. She couldn’t tell her that she was a bit jealous, and she certainly couldn’t tell her she only had three weeks before potentially being kicked out of the company, so she was a bit limited in her options on what to say. “I…” She trailed off, desperately racking her brain for an explanation that was both believable and excusable. 

Unfortunately for Yuqi, her silence and failure to come up with a decent response only further solidified Soyeon’s suspicions, allowing her to gain full confidence in her theory of why Yuqi reacted the way she did. Yuqi watched as Soyeon’s face fell, the light dimming from her girlfriend’s eyes with each second she struggled to come up with a response.

Soyeon nodded passively, stepping back and making way for the taller girl. “Um, I really have to finish some stuff,” she lied, trying to preemptively stop the tears that were about to fall. If she pretended to be swamped with work, she could ignore her feelings for just a bit longer. She took on a softer tone, appearing more defeated than angry. “So, if you could…” She paused a bit, glancing at the door and hoping Yuqi could understand her nonverbal desires.

Fortunately for her, and equally as unfortunate for Yuqi, the younger woman knew Soyeon like the back of her hand, body language and all. She could tell when her girlfriend was overwhelmed, when she was upset, when she was overstimulated, and of course, when she was pissed off or defeated. In this particularly unlucky case, it was a mix of the two. 

The younger girl nodded as she stepped farther away from Soyeon, giving her girlfriend more space and aligning herself closer to the door. “I’m sorry,” she said.

She didn’t really know why she was apologizing, but it felt like the appropriate thing to do. She never wanted Soyeon to feel underappreciated, yet she’d somehow done exactly that. Her only consolation was the small, almost nonexistent smile Soyeon gave her before opening the door and allowing her to return back to the dorms, the taller girl simultaneously brainstorming ways to make her girlfriend feel better and keep herself from potentially having her life ruined.

Yuqi didn’t tell Shuhua about her argument with Soyeon. She hadn’t told her girlfriend about the ultimatum, and she knew she would only get scolded if she admitted to being with the older girl and continuing to withhold the information.

As one of the youngest in the group, it was common for Yuqi to receive an outpour of support from her older members. She often found comfort in Minnie, seeking her attention whenever her emotions got out of hand. It was true that Minnie was one of the more emotional members, but it only made her more empathetic. She was always a place of solace for her members when their situations felt hopeless, providing a place of stability that gave them a chance to truly take care of themselves. Yuqi knew she was at the dorms; if she wasn’t at her apartment, she was almost always with Miyeon.

Yuqi didn’t plan on telling Minnie, either. She debated doing the same thing she did with Shuhua, but even with the three languages between her and Minnie, none of them felt appropriate. She knew the older girl wouldn’t press her to share what happened, either. Minnie always waited for people to feel ready; she never wanted to force someone into detailing the lowest points of their life. She was always ready to intervene if the situation seemed bleak enough, but that was only in situations of emergency.

Minnie was in the living room watching TV when Yuqi arrived back, and she watched as the younger girl wordlessly made her way over, making no sound as she settled down next to the taller girl. Yuqi sighed before curling up against her older friend, linking their arms together as Minnie grabbed the remote and switched the channel to something she knew Yuqi would enjoy.

They didn’t talk much that evening. Aside from the information Minnie shared about how her day went and what future plans she had, it was relatively quiet. Yuqi occasionally gave answers in the form of full sentences, but it was mostly limited to nonverbal and one-word responses.

Minnie didn’t mind, though. She enjoyed taking care of her younger members. It made her feel useful, and it brought her a sense of peace to know that something was always being done to ensure their safety. She didn’t need Yuqi to tell her she appreciated her company when the younger girl was practically glued to her and insistent on keeping her attention the entire time.

She knew something was wrong, but she also knew Yuqi needed time to process her feelings on her own. It was true that Yuqi had been working on new projects; everyone in the producer line had started to pick up a faster pace in the past few months. It would make sense if the younger girl was stressed out over her work, but the likelihood of Yuqi sharing that information was low, and Minnie didn’t want to lose any trust the smaller girl had already invested in her.

She decided to wait it out, wanting to observe the younger woman a bit longer before jumping to conclusions. She didn’t know how much time it would take, but factors like time and resources were of no importance to Minnie; nothing was more valuable to her than her group. They took first priority, regardless of the stakes involved.

A few days later, Yuqi found herself back in the same chair she’d been in a week ago when she was verbally berated by her CEO, her ego and self esteem taking what seemed to be a permanent vacation. She had her song prepared, but she was downright terrified to present it. She was told to stop trying to be a “real artist,” but she didn’t know how. She wasn’t conditioned to follow the trends and change herself to fit a certain image. Her music was the only way she could express herself without risking censorship; it was her outlet, and she couldn’t just turn it into something so shallow.

Yuqi’s fans loved her vulnerability. It didn’t make sense to her that she needed to cater to her “target audience” when her own target audience was the people she cherished the most and those who supported her no matter what.

Waiting for her CEO to arrive was almost unbearable. Instead of waiting to be called into his office, she had been told to wait for him to arrive instead. Twenty minutes later, she still occupied the room by herself, and while the small girl can be patient, it seemed a bit unnecessary to keep someone waiting for so long. A part of her thought he was extending his absence on purpose to make her sweat. 

It was working, of course, but she would never tell him that.

Yuqi fiddled with her flashdrive in one hand, using the other to keep her laptop secure against her front. The song she planned to present was something she usually wouldn’t make; at least, not by herself, and definitely not for herself. It did, however, fit the trend of current songs and used some of the popular instrumental tactics that had been in multiple hit songs produced that year.

Eventually, her overthinking was interrupted by the sound of a door opening, and she couldn’t tell if she was thankful for the distraction or terrified of what the distraction was about to bring. Yuqi straightened up in her chair as he sat down, pocketing the flashdrive and presenting her laptop. 

The man in front of her simply grunted and gestured towards it, completely disregarding any type of helpful communication. Yuqi jumped forward to pull up the file on her screen, adjusting the volume and trying to create an accommodating environment. She needed everything to go perfectly.

The young singer was glued to her seat, her whole body burning as she watched the CEO react to her song. React was a strong word, though, because his facial expressions didn’t give much away. About halfway through, he reached his hand forward and paused the song, casting a paralyzing silence over the room. Yuqi’s blood ran cold when she saw him cut the music. Either he stopped it because he was impressed by her musical genius, or he stopped it because he couldn’t bear to listen to it any longer.

“I’ve heard this song three times this year.”

Of all the reactions Yuqi predicted, she did not expect him to say something like that, and she definitely didn’t know how to respond to it. “What?”

“I could name three of this year’s hit songs that sound exactly like this. Isn’t creative freedom what you girls are all about?” 

Yuqi twitched at the way he referred to her and her members, but she kept her mouth shut. “This has no originality at all. I gave you an extension on your deadline, and this is what you give me in return? What’s the point in giving you creative freedom if the amount of creativity in your work is zero?”

That was something she was not prepared to hear. As far as Yuqi was concerned, this was what he had wanted her to do. Enough with trying to be a real artist; it was time to target a certain demographic and appeal to their interests. She used the same formula other groups had used for their hit songs earlier in the year, and it was most definitely something that would do well on the charts.

“With all due respect, sir… I was under the impression that you wanted me to make something that had potential to chart well, and all the songs that used this structure received global praise. You said to think of the target audience.” Yuqi spoke calmly, her speech slow as she attempted to keep it steady.

“Your target audience. You have a large fanbase; you need to make things that appeal to them,” he lectured her. “And this…” He glanced at the laptop, gesturing to and sneering at the screen. “Will not appeal to them.”

It seemed as if he was just making up the criteria as he went, and the differences between what he wanted earlier and what he wanted now had Yuqi questioning all her work. He spoke so matter-of-factly, as if he’d already made his decision before he even walked in the door. Yuqi felt herself deflate as he spoke, beginning to close in on herself.

“You still owe me three songs, by the way.”

The younger woman’s head shot up at this, her blood pressure spiking. “What? I thought you just needed three in three weeks. Does this one not count or something?”

The CEO rolled his eyes as if he was bored of the conversation. “Three good songs, Yuqi. Don’t forget that it was originally five. The first two you submitted were unsalvageable, but I had the decency to accept them as part of the requirement. Do you want me to exclude those songs as well?”

“No!” Yuqi immediately responded, eyes widening at how strongly she’d reacted.

Her CEO stared at her with contempt for a few moments before speaking again. “You have two weeks left, and you owe me three songs.” Yuqi let out a breath, sinking into the chair as she listened to him. “And if those three songs aren’t at least halfway better than the messes you’ve provided thus far, you’re out.”

Yuqi felt like she was experiencing whiplash with the way her emotions kept changing, steadying, and repeating. Her heart dropped again, as if it hadn’t practically been thrown to the wolves already. She didn’t know how she could get more anxious than she already was. “Sir, please,” she started, attempting to argue her case. “If you would just give me a bit more time or tell me what it is you’re looking for–”

“Three songs, two weeks,” he interrupted, ignoring any effort she made at compromising.

Yuqi’s lip quivered as she tried to keep herself in check, attempting to appear poised and put together. “Okay,” she replied, taking deep breaths. Nervously, she swallowed before speaking again, unsure if she would make the situation better or ruin it completely. She didn’t want to push his buttons, but she was desperate, and she needed to take all the chances she could. 

“But sir,” she addressed him directly, reaching for the flashdrive in her pocket and praying to every god and deity that this would work out. “I have another song.”

Three weeks later, four out of the five girls were waiting patiently for their CEO to arrive at the meeting he had called to discuss the group’s next musical venture. After a few minutes of Miyeon and Shuhua bickering while Minnie and Soyeon silently observed, the door was opened and shut by the man they not-so-secretly despised.

“Thank you guys for meeting me today,” he started. “Yuqi won’t be able to attend today’s meeting due to a last minute schedule change, but she’s already been briefed on this, so we’ll all be on the same page.” 

The girls listened silently, watching their CEO go into detail about what he wanted to see. “As you all know, we’ve received multiple submissions for your next title track,” he followed, briefly looking at Minnie and Soyeon. “Over the past week, we’ve been going over these options and eventually settled on one made by Yuqi.”

The two girls in the producer line smiled, finding it endearing that one of Yuqi’s songs was chosen to be recorded and promoted by all of them. Minnie knew just how much this meant to the younger girl, and she knew she deserved it after all the hard work she’d done. Soyeon felt warmth throughout her body; she was still a bit hurt by Yuqi’s reaction to her own song, but she couldn’t help but feel a strong sense of pride for her girlfriend.

“As this is one of her first projects to be fully promoted, this song specifically will be used for Yuqi’s solo promotions, and then the parts will be divided equally when you record the studio version as a group,” he continued. “Like I said, Yuqi wasn’t able to make it today, but we’re still going to go over the song together to fully assess what you’re all gonna be working with.”

Four heads nodded in unison as he finished, watching him grab a flash drive and insert it into the side of his laptop. “Please listen closely so we can discuss different ideas afterwards.”

As the song started, the two oldest girls closed their eyes, fully taking in the sound and feel of the song. They’d always been very emotionally connected to music, and they always took the chance to fully immerse themselves in any musical situation they could.

The youngest member’s eyes were open as she listened, which was probably the reason why she noticed the smaller girl sitting next to her with a blank expression on her face, her eyes giving no indication to what she thought of the song.

As the first chorus ended, Miyeon and Minnie were jolted out of their reveries by the sound of a chair sliding across the floor, heavy footsteps immediately following.

Three out of five members were now sat in the room, and they watched as their leader stormed out, walking as fast as her small body would take her. She was fuming, and she could only spare a bit of attention to be thankful nobody could see her face.

She continued to tear through the hallways, marching right up to the exit of the building before swinging the door open and slamming it on her way out. Soyeon wasn’t a naturally loud person; oftentimes she would accidentally scare people because of her soft footsteps. She just didn’t care about that right now. 

Miyeon, Minnie, and Shuhua scrambled to their feet to follow their leader, having no idea what happened but being equally scared of what was about to. They watched as Soyeon angrily stomped to her car, cursing at herself when her shaking hands wouldn’t unlock the door properly.

The shorter girl eventually gave up, resorting to making her way by foot. Once she walked far enough, the three girls sprinted to the oldest member’s car, piling in and attempting to follow Soyeon as discreetly as possible. Halfway through the drive, however, Shuhua piped up from the back.

“Is she walking to the dorms?” She was looking out the window, staring at all the familiar greenery beside her. Minnie crinkled her nose, noticing the same thing. “Unnie, aren’t you and Yuqi the only ones who still live there?” Shuhua asked, looking at Miyeon from her spot behind Minnie.

“Yeah…” Miyeon trailed off, growing a bit more confused as to what was going on. A few minutes later, they pulled into a parking space, and the two oldest flinched as Shuhua let out a squeal of happiness. 

“Why is Soojin’s car here?” She asked, beginning to jump in her seat. 

“I’m not sure,” Minnie mused, staring at the white vehicle in front of her. Something seemed… off. But Minnie knew how much Soojin meant to Shuhua, and she didn’t want the younger girl to think she opposed her girlfriend (and her friend) being there.

As Shuhua fidgeted in her seat, Minnie and Miyeon kept watch until they saw a small blur of blonde hair racing towards the door. Quickly, and probably a bit dysfunctionally, the three girls flung themselves out of the car and followed the girl, attempting to grab her attention.

“Soyeon!” Miyeon yelled, her voice echoing from the parking lot to the front of the dorms. 

The younger girl didn’t answer. She looked pissed, and the other girls knew she’d heard them. They quickly darted up to the front, following behind Soyeon as she marched up to the door of the dwelling they all used to share. She knew they were behind her, but she didn’t care. She didn’t care about anything, not right now.

She knocked on the door rapidly, harsher than she probably intended. The door swung open to reveal her girlfriend, and she watched as the smile immediately dropped from Yuqi’s face upon her arrival.

“Soyeon—”

Yuqi was interrupted as Soyeon shoved her back into the living room, barging through the door and giving no regards to her own safety or anyone else’s. The other girls’ eyes widened at their leader’s actions, not used to seeing her get so violent. She’d never gotten physical with any of them, ever.

“You stole my fucking song?” Soyeon growled, eyes flaming as she glared at the girl in front of her.

The room went silent, the only sound being a terribly-muffled squeak from Shuhua when she saw Soojin making her way across the room at the commotion.

“Soyeon, it’s not what it looks like,” Yuqi started, keeping eye contact with her girlfriend. She couldn’t tell if she was unable to tear her eyes away from Soyeon due to the fear of her anger, or if it was because she couldn’t bear to see the disappointment on everyone else’s faces.

Soyeon scoffed, letting out a dry laugh as she cocked her head at Yuqi. “It’s not what it looks like? Seriously? That’s your excuse?”

“It’s not an excuse, Soyeon, I swear,” Yuqi begged, her eyes desperate.

Soyeon laughed emotionlessly. “It’s actually kind of funny that you’d use such a basic excuse. Of course you can’t come up with a new song— you can’t even come up with your own lie.”

The room was tense, and the silence that followed Soyeon’s words was almost tangible. It was clear that the last comment had gotten to Yuqi a bit more than the others had. Yelling at her was one thing, but to attack her artistry and originality just felt fatal.

“Maybe— maybe we should all just take a step ba–”

“Miyeon, I love you but I swear to God if you don’t stop talking right now I’m gonna lose my mind,” Soyeon said lowly, her eyes never leaving Yuqi’s.

Minnie narrowed her eyes at Soyeon’s comment, choosing to keep her thoughts to herself as she saw the exchange in front of her. She was protective of all her members, and that included protecting them from each other. She knew Soyeon was mad, but there was no reason to take it out on someone who wasn’t involved– someone who just wanted to help, at that.

“Wait.”

Five heads turned to Shuhua as she finally spoke up.

“Yuqi, is this because of–” She stopped herself and looked at her friend, really looked at her. She couldn’t imagine her ever doing this. “You did this because of your contract?”

Yuqi’s face paled as she looked around, knowing only two other people there were knowledgeable about the situation.

Yuqi turned back to Soyeon, deciding to get it out once and for all. “Soyeon, you have to understand. They were gonna terminate my contract,” she let out, her breath uneven. 

“What are you even talking about, Yuqi?”

The younger girl’s lip quivered. “T-they told me I had until the end of December to submit songs as contenders for title tracks, and I’d already missed the deadline multiple times. If I didn’t do it in time, they were gonna terminate my contract.”

“So you stole one of mine?” Soyeon said angrily, not yet ready to consider the other girl’s feelings. 

“Well–” Yuqi started, guilt eating away at her.

“Why was that your solution, Yuqi?” Soyeon interrupted her again. Her face grew softer, as if she genuinely couldn’t believe what was happening. She wasn’t angry. She was hurt. “Why didn’t you just tell me? Why didn’t you talk to me about it?” 

Soyeon’s face wasn’t soft out of understanding. It was soft out of defeat. “Do you seriously not trust me enough to tell me something like that?”

Yuqi opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out as she looked around the room anxiously. She did trust Soyeon, which just made it hurt even more. “I–” She looked down, avoiding eye contact with the older girl. “I was scared,” she said quietly.

“But why, Yuqi?”  Soyeon sounded broken. “You’re one of the most talented producers I know; you make amazing songs!” Desperation laced her voice as she tried to rationalize everything. “Why would you take one of mine?”

Yuqi flinched at the defeat in her voice, and she didn’t quite know how to maneuver it. Hearing Soyeon praise her skills even after she’d stolen one of her songs felt like a punch to the gut. She could handle Soyeon being angry at her; she could handle Soyeon yelling at her. But she couldn’t handle Soyeon being disappointed in her.

“I- I’m sorry,” Yuqi said quietly. She bit her lip, trying to think of what to say. “If… if it makes you feel better, the CEO said he thinks it’ll be really successful. He said–”

“Oh, he said it’ll be successful?” Soyeon replied sarcastically. She laughed to herself quietly. She couldn’t believe what was happening, genuinely. 

The older girl took a breath before speaking again. “How could you think this wouldn’t hurt me?” She asked quietly.

Yuqi bit her lip before replying. “Soyeon, you know it’s not like that.”

Soyeon blinked, taken aback. “Not like that?” She repeated, feeling herself grow angry again. “Not like that? Seriously, Yuqi?” Her ears burned at Yuqi’s attempt to minimize her very valid reaction, at least in her opinion. “You steal my song, pass it off as your own, get to use it for your promotions– your solo promotions, at that– but it’s ‘not like that?’ Really?”

“Soyeon, please…”

“You know how much this means to me. You know how much my music means to me. I understand being scared, but taking one of my songs…” Soyeon trailed off, growing bitter once again. It still didn’t feel real. None of this felt real.

“Soyeon–”

“And you know what? I bet it will be successful,” Soyeon said dryly. “After all, it’s my song,” she finished. Yuqi’s face fell once more, guilt eating away at her. Her pride was hurt at the stinging comment, but she couldn’t particularly blame Soyeon for being passive aggressive. Her precious leader wasn’t normally immature, but this was no normal situation.

“You know what this means, right?” The older girl asked her.

Yuqi’s mouth parted a bit, but no words came out. She didn’t know what to say. She knew what Soyeon was hinting at, but she was silently hoping that if she ignored it, it would go away. It wouldn’t happen.

“Please…” Yuqi started, preparing herself to beg Soyeon to stay.

“God, I can’t even believe this,” Soyeon said, mostly to herself. She bit her lip and looked up at the ceiling as she tried to keep in her tears and figure out how to use her voice without it following her heart’s lead and shattering into pieces. Pieces she’d never be able to put back together again.

“That’s why you didn’t come to the meeting, isn’t it?” Soyeon challenged, going over all the details in her head. “You knew,” she said, her voice dripping with disdain. “You knew he was showing us the song today and that’s why you bailed.” She scoffed at the younger girl’s attempt to avoid her. “‘Last minute schedule change’ my ass.” 

Soyeon slightly laughed in disbelief before looking up at Yuqi once more, still not completely sure that this whole thing was real. She felt like she was going crazy, actually. It felt like a fever dream. There was no way this was actually happening; surely it was an awful nightmare she’d be waking up from in a few hours.

Yuqi swallowed as she looked at the older girl, needing her to stop talking but knowing she wouldn’t. Whether she wanted it or not, she had to at least let Soyeon talk.

“I thought you were his favorite, weren’t you? Song Yuqi, the ever famous idol whose CEO has a special ringtone for,” she sneered, her voice thick with contempt. “You’re a fucking coward.” 

The younger girl flinched at her words, partly because it hurt and partly because it was true. She had been too scared to go to the meeting, too scared to see Soyeon’s reaction. “If you were gonna steal my song you could’ve at least had the decency to own up to it instead of running away and hiding like a child.”

Yuqi felt herself deflate once more and her expression changed to one of defeat and desperation. Hurt and guilt were written all over her face. She no longer wanted to defend herself; she just wanted Soyeon to stop. Every word the older girl said felt like a knife to the gut, and every time she thought about how her members were witnessing it only made it feel like someone was twisting and turning the knife even deeper. 

She didn’t want to defend herself, not anymore. She didn’t have the energy for it. She just wanted it to stop. She didn’t even feel like Soyeon was expressing her feelings anymore; it was like she was just thinking of the most hurtful things to say and flinging them at Yuqi one by one.

More tears fell from Yuqi’s face, and she was unable to see the disappointment on her members’ faces. She knew how they’d look at her, though. Minnie would be confused, in disbelief that Yuqi could ever do something like this. Miyeon would look guilty, as if there was something she could’ve done as the oldest member to prevent this from happening. Soojin would look genuinely hurt, and the younger girl just knew Shuhua would be looking at her as if she didn’t recognize her. She didn’t recognize herself either.

“I hope you’re happy. I hope the royalties were worth it. I hope you get all the collab stages you want. I hope you get a hundred fucking all-kills and I hope they were worth destroying everything we had and everything you promised. I truly hope it was worth it."

Yuqi flinched at the harsh words. “Soyeon, don’t be like that, please…”

“I do hope it was worth it, really.” Shuhua was the first person to speak. Multiple heads looked over at her in confusion, as she’d been relatively quiet the entire time and her voice was lacking her signature Shuhua charm. “Because if it wasn’t, you might just be the biggest fucking idiot on the planet.”

Minnie quickly interrupted, being one of the only girls who could understand what the younger girl had said.. “Yah, Yeh Shuhua…”

“I didn’t say anything that wasn’t true. Only a fucking imbecile would be stupid enough to lose her,” Shuhua said. She turned on her heels to face Yuqi. “Are you dumb? Seriously. I want to know. You were there two years ago. You saw what happened to Soojin. You saw what happened to all of us. Why would you risk all of that happening again? What is wrong with you?”

The youngest member felt herself growing hot as well. Everyone knew Soojin’s departure affected her the most out of everyone else. She couldn’t believe her friend would do something like this. It was so out of character, so… wrong . Yuqi wasn’t that type of person, not to Shuhua. Not to any of them.

Yuqi felt herself grow desperate. She was trying to explain her side, but it felt like nobody was listening, and every second she was ignored felt like another step towards the edge of a cliff that had no end. “I was gonna have my contract terminated! I- I would’ve had to go back home. My parents would’ve made me go back!”

Soyeon, on the other hand, was only growing increasingly more angry. The way she switched between hot and cold throughout the confrontation was like whiplash. “Aren’t you famous in China? You are in such high demand you could choose any company you wanted, Korea or China. I mean, fuck, you speak like ten different languages; you could do well anywhere. You’re insanely talented, you know that. You could be successful anywhere…” 

Yuqi hated it. She hated Soyeon slipping in compliments while berating her. It was only adding salt to the already open and damaged wound. She didn’t know if she could handle any more; she didn’t know how much more she could take. “Stop, please,” she said quietly.

Soyeon scoffed. “Oh, so now you wanna talk?” she said accusingly.

Yuqi took a deep breath, trying not to fall apart. “Please… please, just stop, Soyeon.” 

The only thing she received in return was a hard stare from the older girl, daring her to keep talking. She didn’t want to. She wanted to sleep. She wanted to run away. She wanted to hit her precious leader. She wanted to kiss her. She wanted to push her away. She wanted to hug her. She wanted to scream at her. She wanted to hold her.

“So that’s what you were zoning out about when I showed you my song? You were fantasizing about taking it for yourself?” Yuqi was taken aback, offended that Soyeon would think this was a preplanned move and not an act of desperation.

It was too much; everything was too much. She opened her mouth again, preparing to beg Soyeon to stop once more.

“I mean, what the hell, Yuqi? You wouldn't have had to leave. We would’ve helped you. We would’ve fought for you. I would’ve fought for you.” Soyeon was almost begging– for what, she didn’t know. All she knew was that she was desperate, desperate for Yuqi to leave and stay at the same time. Desperate for Yuqi to undo what was already done.

Soyeon was exhausted. Yuqi was exhausted. But for some reason, it wasn’t enough. It wasn’t enough to stop the next words from leaving her mouth, the words that ruined everything.

Yuqi scoffed. “Yeah? And how well did that work out last time?”

The energy in the dorm suddenly turned sour. Silence filled the room, and Yuqi’s eyes widened as she realized what she’d just said. 

The tension that had once permeated the room dissipated as time slowed. Yuqi’s skin started to crawl, and she frantically looked around the room, hoping the others would know she didn’t mean it. 

Soyeon went silent. She didn’t even know what to say. She’d always blamed herself for what happened, and Yuqi knew that. The younger girl was the one who held her leader and reassured her it wasn’t her fault. She was always the one to tell Soyeon not to blame herself, to not take on so much pressure, fearing that her girlfriend would eventually crack, crash, and burn.

Yuqi closed her eyes as everyone looked to Shuhua. She wouldn’t dare to open her eyes, and she was even more terrified to look at Soojin. She didn’t mean it. She really didn’t. 

But at the same time, she did. She didn’t mean to blame Soyeon, but she knew the chances of going against Cube. She knew it was nearly impossible to win.

The situation only continued to grow more uncomfortable as the silence extended. Yuqi swore she could hear the wind moving from outside the window.

Miyeon, ever the peacekeeper, was the first to speak. As the oldest, she felt like she had to do something, but she was genuinely at a loss for words. This was so out of character for her younger member that her mind went blank at the thought of what to say. “Yuqi–”

“You need to leave.”

Yuqi’s blood froze at Soyeon’s statement, terrified at what that could possibly mean. “W-what?” She asked, her lip quivering. She was scared, and she didn’t know how much longer she could last before breaking down. “Soyeon, what does that mean?” She asked quietly.

“Did I stutter? Get. Out.” Soyeon spoke through gritted teeth, trying not to spit out the words. “I cannot see you right now. I cannot see you for the next few days. You need to sleep somewhere else; I don’t care where, but you need to pack a bag and leave. You can’t stay here.”

“But– you don’t even live here anymore…” Yuqi trailed off.

Soyeon’s eyes flared at Yuqi’s disobedience, not used to the younger girl challenging her orders. Yuqi looked up and flinched at Soyeon’s expressions, shrinking back and borderline cowering away. Her voice was small when she spoke up, a voice that sounded nothing like her. Nothing like her usual upbeat self. Nothing like the voice Soyeon fell in love with. “Okay,” she said softly. She took a moment to look down in defeat. “I’ll leave,” she added. “I’m sorry.”

Soyeon’s lip twitched at the last part, feeling a pang in her chest at the brokenness of the younger girl. She felt like she went too far. She felt like she went too far but at the same time not far enough. All she wanted to do was apologize and hold her girlfriend, but she knew her pride wouldn’t allow her, and neither would her mind. She was hurt, and no amount of guilt she felt for the way she treated Yuqi made it go away. She didn’t think it would ever go away.

Yuqi turned to walk to her room and almost fell to her knees when she had to walk past Soojin and Shuhua. The older girl was expressionless, but Shuhua’s face showed enough anger for the both of them. Yuqi’s heart wrenched, because she knew Soojin’s lack of expressions was both to preserve her own emotions and to prevent herself from saying something hurtful. Her resolve shattered at Soojin still being considerate of her feelings despite everything she’d done and said. 

Part of her wished Soojin would yell at her; part of her wished Miyeon would scream at her. She needed them all to think she was a terrible person, because the thought of them still acting with compassion for her after what she’d said made her feel nauseous. They were all good people. She wasn’t. She betrayed them, all of them, especially Soyeon.

As she finally made her way past the couple, she attempted to speak, to give out some sort of apology. “Soojin, I’m so–”

“Sorry?” Shuhua interrupted her. “You’re so sorry? Is that it?”

Yuqi fell silent and swallowed nervously. “Y-yes. I’m sorry.”

Shuhua’s eyes were on fire as she glared at Yuqi, taking a step forward so she was preventing the older girl from getting any closer to Soojin. “Apologies are a fucking joke when you say something completely irredeemable,” she spat, anger seeping from every word. “So you can take yours and shove it up your–”

Shuhua was pulled back by a hand on her shoulder, looking back to see Soojin giving her a warning glance. Shuhua opened her mouth to protest, but Soojin just shook her head, preventing her from getting any closer to Yuqi.

Yuqi felt dizzy at the difference in reactions. She couldn’t believe Soojin was still looking out for her even after what she said, and she suddenly felt sick. “I–” She paused, feeling her stomach churn. 

She stopped talking as she sprinted to the nearest bathroom, opening up the toilet seat to empty the contents of her stomach. She knew throwing up wasn’t something positive, but she couldn’t help but feel like she deserved it.

Yuqi was in there for what felt like hours, but what was really only a few minutes. At some point she couldn’t even throw up anymore, and she was essentially dry heaving into the toilet. 

A few moments later, she heard the door open and vaguely recognized the sound of a glass being set down on the counter, assuming it was probably water. Next, cool air tickled her neck as her hair was pulled back from her face, preventing it from falling into the toilet any further. 

Eventually, she calmed down and sat back on her knees, eyes closed as she tried to regain her breath. She only opened them when she felt the glass brush against her hand, knowing someone was trying to give it to her. Her vision was a bit blurry, but she was alert enough to take the glass into her hands. 

Yuqi took a big gulp, which she immediately regretted as her stomach lurched again and she once more had to lean over the toilet. She heard someone click their tongue behind her as they removed the glass from her hands, waiting for her fit of nausea to be over before speaking. 

“Slowly,” they instructed, setting the glass down but making sure it was still in Yuqi’s reach.

Yuqi’s head whipped around at the voice and she was immediately hit with another wave of nausea, flinging herself over the toilet again and feeling like she was throwing up all her organs.

The girl behind her made a sound of annoyance at the action. “I said slowly.”

Yuqi nodded, grabbing the glass of water and finally bringing her head up to face the girl behind her. Her hands shook as she held the glass, and they only stopped when she felt a pair of hands steady them for her. They were warm around her own.

Yuqi closed her eyes and let out a breath before opening them again, looking at the girl in front of her. “Why?” She croaked out, her throat scratchy and dry.

The girl blinked at her. “You’re dehydrated. You need water.” Her voice was devoid of all emotions. “But if you feel like you can’t keep it down I can get you some ice cubes to suck on so you have some way of replenishing.”

Yuqi shook her head. “No, I didn’t mean–” She wiped her eyes and tried to clear her vision fully. “Why are you helping me?”

Her girlfriend stared at her with an expressionless face. “You were throwing up,” Soyeon replied, as if she hadn’t just spent the last twenty minutes screaming at the younger girl. Her voice was monotone, as if she didn’t have the energy to put any emotion into her words. 

Yuqi nodded. “I was.”

Silence fell over them as they sat together, Soyeon eventually letting Yuqi’s hair go and leaning against the wall. She wasn’t ready to talk to Yuqi, not yet.

Yuqi knew this, but she couldn’t help the guilt that was eating away at her. 

“I’m sorry.”

There was a pause.

“I know.”

Yuqi’s eyes welled at that comment, still overwhelmed at this entire situation. Now that she was finally sitting steadily and no longer throwing up everything in her system, she felt a wave of exhaustion wash over her. Her eyelids became heavy, and she struggled to keep hold of the glass in her hands.

As it was about to fall out of her hands, she felt Soyeon surge forward from behind her and grab it into her own, subsequently putting herself right up against Yuqi’s back. 

Yuqi didn’t mean to lean back into Soyeon’s touch; it was just an automatic response to her. She was so tired, so exhausted. She couldn’t even move away. Her head was still spinning, and eventually she knew she had to move. She couldn’t take advantage of Soyeon’s fleeting kindness, no matter how comforting it was.

Soyeon felt Yuqi slump against her, and she let out a deep breath at the way she had fallen into her arms. The younger girl stirred, attempting to sit forward and get out of Soyeon’s way. “I’m sorry. I– I didn’t mean to fall onto you like that.”

Soyeon shushed her, making a split second decision and pulling Yuqi back into her arms so she could rest. “Don’t speak.”

The younger girl nodded against her chest, and she felt Soyeon’s fingers thread through her hair, the calming gesture bringing her closer and closer to sleep. 

Soyeon looked down at her, watching Yuqi as her muscles eventually went loose and she drifted into sleep. She leaned her head back against the wall, not having any idea of what to do next. She knew she couldn’t stay away from the younger girl. She should’ve known it would be impossible to leave her.

Her eyes closed as she attempted to rest just a bit. Since Yuqi had fallen asleep, Soyeon could no longer ignore her own feelings of exhaustion. 

After a few moments, she opened her eyes again and did a double take when she saw something out of the corner of her eye. Swiveling her head, she looked out the open door of the bathroom to see multiple faces staring at her from the hallway.

Soyeon felt herself grow embarrassed under their gazes. She was embarrassed because of how she’d treated her girlfriend, but she was equally as embarrassed at her inability to stay away from her. She quickly glared at her members before shifting a bit, trying to keep it slow and smooth to avoid disturbing the sleeping girl. “Shut up,” she mouthed.

The two oldest girls looked back at her with teasing smiles, but as she looked to meet Soojin and Shuhua’s eyes, they were already gone. Her head cocked to the side in confusion as she narrowed her eyes, not quite sure how the two had gotten away without her seeing it.

“They went on a walk,” Minnie said softly.

Miyeon interjected, keeping her voice low as well. “And by walk, she means Soojin dragged Shuhua out by her hair to prevent her from slapping both of you.”

Minnie slowly turned her head towards the other girl, scolding her with her eyes. “Seriously?”

“What?” Miyeon questioned, eyes wide and innocent.

Soyeon groaned as she let her head fall against the wall, ignoring the slight pain at the contact. “This is a fucking mess.”

Miyeon and Minnie finally made their way into the bathroom and sat next to the two girls, Minnie taking Soyeon’s hands as Miyeon moved a strand of hair out of her face. Soyeon lightly pulled one hand away from Minnie, placing it back where it had been resting around Yuqi’s head.

Minnie felt a small smile, but she found it difficult to reach her eyes. Everyone was exhausted, and everyone was upset. “Yeah,” she let out, releasing a deep breath. Nothing good had come from this– for anyone. The older girl squeezed Soyeon’s hand as she gave her a comforting look.

“But it’s our mess.”