Chapter Text
Dazai is tired, not just physically or mentally, it’s fucking chronic. He takes sleeping pills (though often unconventionally), he stays off screens before sleeping, he tries (and fails) to eat right. Nothing works, he’s settled on the fact that it’s all in his head, meaning he can ignore it just like all the other little annoyances that hang around in there.
Today however, it’s too much. Dazai cannot get up.
In hindsight, he probably shouldn’t have drunk as much as he did yesterday knowing that he has an important mission today, but hey, Dazai has never claimed to be the perfect employee. Kunikida is going to throttle him, Atsushi will most likely try and check in, Yosano will see through his excuse, she always does. Look, he thinks she’s lovely but she is much too much like Mori, Dazai wants to like Yosano, but he just can’t.
He’s going to call in sick, he has to, but he can’t get up like this. He can’t even bring himself to reach the phone. He feels paralysed. Why can’t he just get up, he’s better than this, he’s survived torture, he’s survived being shot, he got out of the damn port mafia. Dazai Osamu should be able to get the fuck up.
*knock knock*
Shit, someone’s at the door, most likely atsushi based on the strength, and lack of confidence in the sound. Dazai cannot let him see him like this. Ever. Dazai is strong (not physically but he has a partner for that), Dazai is sharp, Dazai is ruthless but kind, Dazai is aloof, Dazai is funny, Daz-
“-ai, are you alright? Kunikida sent me to check up on you, the port mafia people are at the office waiting, so he has to stay there to keep things under control, they’re all kinda scary, Akutagawa is there, but he’s just an emo so he’s not… shit sorry, are you coming?”
“Give me a moment, Atsushi-kunnn~, I’ll be right out”
Fuck, shit, why did he say that? Why. Did. He. Say. That.
He has to get up so, Plan numero uno: roll to yesterdays clothes
A few moments later, Dazai has rolled into one of his many piles of empty sake bottles, causing them all to teeter around clinking and chiming, making his headache even worse.
“Dazai-san?! What’s going on?”
“Bah, nothing nothing, give me 5”
“Um, sure, ok”
Ok, ok. Fumbling around Dazai finds a semi stable surface, in an attempt to haul himself up, he uses all of his upper body strength (which is basically just the muscle needed to have mobile limbs). Around half way up he feels a wobble, shiiiit
10 minutes later, Dazai is at the door, clad in is usually outfit, birds nest of a hairdo and new bandages on his hand for his very much still bleeding wound that he acquired from the whiskey bottle he mistook for a chair leg. All in all, not as bad as it could have been, Dazai has looked worse. He’s sure he makes it work, still just as put together as always (which is basically not at all but c’est la vie)
Swinging open the door with his usual extravaganza is an effort, but in his opinion it is of the utmost importance that he keeps up his animated front, at least to distract from his disheveled look.
“Ummm, Dazai-san, are you sure you’re ok? You don’t look so good”
“Aweee, atsushi-kun~, you care about me? I’m touched.” Dazai places a hand to his chest with a dramatic flourish “but really, I am beyond peachy~”
“I mean I do care, oh shoot, we’re so late, let’s just go. Have you eaten breakfast, we could grab something on the way?”
“Pffft, of course I have” (if you consider mouth wash and coffee he left on the floor an unknown amount of time ago, as breakfast that is)
“Atsushi-kun, let’s go before kunikida decides he wants me there dead or alive.” They head off, Dazai admittedly with a lot less energy than atsushi, but to be fair most of that is nervous energy. Dazai’s analysis of the day so far, leads him to believe that’s today is a Murphy’s Law kind of day. Damn
To be continued… ;)